Twilight Gets Drawn In

Chapters

Broken Concentration
Rough Start
Tequila Party
A Trip to the Mall
Waiting for the King
Meanwhile, Back in Equestria ...
The Return of the King
This Is Not Ballet!
I Thought You Lived in a Castle!
Celestial Arrival / Twilight's Return

Broken Concentration

Twilight Sparkle was in her basement working on a new transdimensional transport spell. She had drawn the necessary symbols and circles on the floor and had focused magic into her horn, now glowing brilliant magenta and slowly turning white -- her eyes were also turning fully white as the needed magic flowed freely through her horn. She concentrated harder and was nearing the completion of her spell when her concentration was suddenly broken by a loud thumping and crashing noise upstairs in the main room of the library. Her spell activated and she disappeared in a flash of white light, materializing in front of a large three-story house painted a golden yellow color.

"Did my spell work? Where am I?" she asked no one. She saw the front door, so she trotted up to it and knocked on it with her right fore-hoof. A light-skinned human female wearing a long lavender dress and a small tiara on her head answered the door.

"Oh, how cute! A little pony!" she exclaimed in excitement. "Daddy has some ponies at his castle, but they're nowhere near as colorful or as pretty as you!"

"Um, who are you? And where am I?"

"I'm Princess Clara! And this is our house in Los Angeles! Please, come inside!"

"You're a princess? You don't look like any princesses I know," Twilight said as she entered the house apprehensively. She trotted slowly following Clara and was almost immediately attacked by an overweight female done up in black and white.

"Oooh! A pony! Wow, I've never seen a pony before," she said very excitedly.

Twilight used her magic to teleport away from the vise-like grip of the chubby lady. "What are you?"

"How did you do that? You disappeared for a second there!" exclaimed a shocked Clara.

"I can use magic, Princess. This -- whatever she is -- attacked me!"

"Oh, you mean who am I? I'm Toot Braunstein, glad to meetcha!"

"Princess Clara, do you mind telling me why your voice and Toot's voice sound like mine?"

"Oh, that's because all three of us have the same voice actress!" Toot exclaimed. As Toot was saying this, a lanky young man wearing green walked into the room.

"Oh, wow! A little pony! How cute! Do you talk?" he asked.

"Yes, I DO talk! Who might you be?"

"I am Xandir! And I am on a never ending quest to save my BOYFRIEND!" he exclaimed proudly.

"You are sooo gay!" exclaimed a dark-skinned woman wearing a fox tail on the back of her shorts and a cap with two fox ears atop it. "Xandir, you need to stop trying to impress the newcomers! Hey, you're really cute! Who are you?"

"I am Twilight Sparkle, faithful student of Princess Celestia -- I cast a spell to cross a dimensional barrier, and it appears my spell has worked. I was wanting to travel to the human home world to see what things were like," she said.

"I'm Foxxy Love, nice to meetcha!" she said, offering an open hand in invitation. Twilight put her right fore-hoof and Foxxy shook her hoof gently.

"Pleased to meet you, Foxxy Love. Tell me, do you have a library I can visit?"

"Oh, Twilight, I don't think we have one in this house -- but there's one downtown. Maybe we can go there later," Foxxy said.

"You said you were a student of Princess Celestia -- where does she live?" asked Clara.

"Princess Celestia rules over a land called Equestria -- but it's across the dimensional barrier I crossed in order to get here."

"Hey, who's the purple donkey? Where's the 12-year-old girl to go along with her?" asked a bulky man wearing a blue skin-tight suit, a large H on his chest.

"I am NOT a donkey!" Twilight shouted in disgust. "And I don't know anything about any 12-year-old girls!"

"Captain Hero! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Foxxy admonished him.

"Well, one out of two ain't bad," he chuckled. "So what brings you around here?"

"I was working on a magic spell to travel across dimensions. I wasn't prepared for this, though," Twilight said with some exasperation. "Is everyone in this house crazy?"

"You haven't met Wooldoor yet, have you?" asked Foxxy. "You don't know what crazy is until you meet him!"

"WHEEEE! Did somebody call my name?" asked a yellow object with a doorknob stuck on his rear. "Oh, look a pony! Wow! I've never met one of those before! Who are you?"

"Look, Foxxy, since you seem to be the sensible one here -- can you call everypony who lives in this house here to let them know what's going on? I would like to know what's going on as well!" Twilight said as more exasperation crept into her voice. Suddenly a voice boomed from a loudspeaker.

"Attention, all house members. Please assemble in the main room for introduction to your new housemate."

"What was that?" Twilight asked.

"That was the jew producer," Foxxy said in a hushed voice. "Try not to get on his bad side, those white flashes can make you do bad things." Twilight followed Foxxy and the others to the main room of the house. She saw what looked like a pig wearing clothes and a small orange creature of some sort with what looked like an exclamation point for a tail. She wasn't quite sure what to make of these new housemates and she was seriously wondering if casting that transdimensional spell was such a good idea in the first place.

"How am I supposed to get home?" she thought to herself. The orange creature eyed her warily as though she might be a threat to him. He muttered some gibberish which sounded like Japanese and she saw the translated words appear at the bottom which read, "Ling-ling is not impressed."

"Members, this is your new house guest, Twilight Sparkle," boomed the voice from the loudspeaker. "Try to get along with her as best you can. Try to make her feel at home. And Toot, DON'T EAT HER!"

"AS IF!" she shouted at the box. "Honestly, I don't know why they think I'll eat anything," Toot said with disgust.

"Toot, you remember when you had to deal with your eating disorder?" Foxxy chided her. "You ate all the food in the house! You even ate Ling-ling!"

"Don't remind me! I remember the way the guys whistled at you when you walked by! Do you know how bad that made me feel?"

"You know, I helped you with that a little," Xandir said optimistically.

"Yeah, and Toot made a big mess all over the house," the pig chuckled.

"Twilight Sparkle, your new housemates are Foxxy Love, Toot Braunstein, Princess Clara, Captain Hero, Wooldoor Sockbat, Ling-ling, Xandir Wifflebottom, and Spanky Ham." The voice came from the brown box on the wall and the camera showed each of the house members in a close-up shot. "Try to get along with them as best you can, and don't zap them with your magic, if you can help it. If Captain Hero gets a little too fresh with you, zap him all you want, he's somewhat immune to your magic."

"Hey! That's not fair!" Hero shouted at the box. "It's not like I was going to ask her for sex or anything like that!"

"Captain, you'll f*** anything," Foxxy admonished him.

"Oh, yeah. That's right," he mumbled. Twilight covered her ears with her fore-hooves when she heard Foxxy drop the "f bomb."

"Sorry about that, Twilight, I forgot my manners there. Guess you've not heard too much cursing where you come from," Foxxy chuckled.

Rough Start

"What have I gotten myself in to?" Twilight thought to herself. She didn't have much time to think as Ling-ling shouted something in his gibberish at her and leaped into the air. The subtitle at the bottom read, "Ling-ling challenges purple dog to battle to the death!" as Ling-ling's battle theme played:

Ling-ling into battle go, fulfill destiny of the soul,
Sever skull of adversary, shove it in the poo-poo hole,
And all the children sing
Kill kill kill kill die die die, kill kill kill kill die die die!

As this song was playing, Ling-ling charged a ball of dark purple energy and fired it at Twilight. She teleported about ten feet to her left to dodge the blast and cast a freezing spell on Ling-ling, immobilizing him, then used her telekinesis to lower him gently to the floor. He shouted more gibberish at her, the subtitle reading, "Release Ling-ling so he can kill you properly!"

"I'm not going to stand by and allow you to attack me! I don't care who you are, I won't let that happen!" Twilight exclaimed. "Does anypony else feel like attacking me?" Everyone in the room stood in stunned silence by her use of magic, their mouths agape. It took a few moments for everyone to regain their composure, or what passed for composure given the level of decorum (or lack thereof) each of them possessed.

"That was really cool, Twilight! Do you think you can teach me how to do that?" asked Xandir.

"You're not a unicorn so you can't use magic," she replied flatly. She unfroze Ling-ling at this point and glared at him. To emphasize her point, she gave a short low growl of anger.

"Hey, Twilight, why not stop by my bedroom later on? I'll show you a little magic of my own!" Captain Hero grinned, winking very obviously.

"Ugh! NO!" Twilight said loudly in disgust. "He's an awful lot like Prince Blueblood," she thought.

"Bad Ling-ling! Bad!" Clara admonished him. "Go to your room!" Ling-ling huffed in anger, turned and left. He said something else in his gibberish, the subtitle reading, "This is not over, purple dog!"

"You'll have to forgive him, he's always looking for a fresh battle," Foxxy stated. "Let me give you a tour of the place since you're new here, Twilight." As Twilight followed Foxxy, the other members went off to various places around the house to pursue their own interests until the next challenge or crisis arose. Foxxy showed Twilight the guest rooms, pointing out each one. They went through the kitchen and Twilight noticed the sink was filled with dirty dishes.

"Who washes the dishes in the house?" she asked.

"We're supposed to be taking turns doing that, but usually it's Ling-ling who does them ever since Princess Clara's Octopussoir ran off and got married," Foxxy stated flatly.

"Octopussoir? What's that?"

"Princess Clara had a monster between her legs -- a multi-tentacled thing of some sort that she controlled. It seemed like it was a personal pet of hers. We found out the hard way that it hates loud noises, but also found out it enjoyed washing dishes. Things were fine until it found a mate and got married. Now the sink's full of dirty dishes almost all the time. Ling-ling does them, but only when he feels like it."

While Foxxy was explaining this to Twilight, she had filled the sink with soapy water and was using her telekinesis to wash the dishes with rags, rinsing them off and putting them in the drying rack. She finished this task in less than five minutes. Foxxy was astonished by this feat. "Um, thanks for doing the dishes, Twilight!" Foxxy exclaimed with a big smile.

"I can't stand seeing something like that, Foxxy, it drives me crazy! What else is there in this house?"

"We have a pool in the back yard," she said. "You know how to swim?"

"Um, no, I haven't tried."

"We have a hot tub back there, too," Foxxy grinned.

"I think I'll pass on that invitation," Twilight shuddered.

"You never know until you try it!" she said, her grin getting bigger.

"Ugh! Is everypony in this house obsessed with sex?"

"It helps us pass the time," Foxxy chuckled. "You need to stop being such a prude!"

"Let's finish the tour, Foxxy. Where am I supposed to be sleeping? There aren't enough rooms for everypony in the house."

"Well, you could share my room, or perhaps you could bunk with Clara -- I KNOW you ain't gonna wanna stay in Hero's room, and Spanky, well ... just stay away from him altogether is all I can say." Foxxy then led Twilight through the rest of the house, showing her the dining room, the activity room and finishing back in the main room of the house.

"I really would like to visit this library you mentioned, Foxxy," Twilight said optimistically.

"Well, the Producer doesn't want us leaving the house unless it's needed. I don't know if he'll let us go to the library -- and if one of us goes, we ALL have to go. You don't wanna know what kind of chaos Wooldoor would cause in a library."

"What exactly IS he? I've never seen anything like him, ever."

"He's a sockbat. That's why his name is Wooldoor Sockbat!"

"So can you tell me what exactly a sockbat is?"

"Well, no. I don't even know, myself, so unless you ask him, I couldn't tell you."

"WHEEEE! I wanted to say hi to Twilight! HI!"

"Wooldoor, what exactly is a sockbat?" Twilight asked him.

"Um, to tell you the truth, Twilight, I don't know! I come from a long line of Sockbats! I never bothered to find anything more about that, I just AM!"

"Why do you say WHEEEE all the time?"

"I have to say that ever 30 seconds, or I'll explode! WHEEEEE!" he then ran off to the back yard, where Captain Hero and Spanky Ham were sitting at the patio table, an empty green bottle laying on its side atop the table. "Gotta finish the game, bye!"

"Foxxy, what game are they playing?"

"Spin the bottle, wanna watch? They're so funny," Foxxy chuckled. Twilight watched as the three of them would take turns spinning the bottle -- upon stopping, Captain Hero would passionately kiss whomever the open end of the bottle pointed to. If the bottle stopped and pointed at none of the three, all three of them would do a group kiss. The bottle was spun again, and this time it pointed to Wooldoor.

"My turn! WHEEEEE!" he exclaimed in excitement.

"If you're going to be gay about this, you can't play!" Hero said sternly.

"Awww," Wooldoor said dejectedly. Hero gave him a passionate kiss anyway.

Twilight was disgusted by this scene and expressed her disgust openly. Foxxy just laughed and told her that's the way things went in this house.

Tequila Party

Twilight found herself sitting in a chair, staring directly at a camera. "What is this for?" she asked.

"That's the confessional, Twilight, you're supposed to tell the audience something you're thinking about," Foxxy stated.

At the bottom of the screen there was a caption which read, "Twilight Sparkle, Magic-using Librarian, Age 22."

"I have no idea what I'm supposed to talk about," Twilight said somewhat quizzically.

"Just say something about your opinion of your current situation, Twilight!" Foxxy said impatiently.

"Okay. I think everypony in this house is too crazy, and I want to find my way back home to Ponyville!"

"I guess that'll work," Foxxy muttered. Twilight got out of the chair and Foxxy sat down in it.

"This purple pony is something else. I'll have to admit she's really cute and all, but I think she's gonna stir up more bad blood with Ling-ling. If nothing else, we can keep her around to do the dishes!"

"I heard that, Foxxy! I'm not going to do the dishes every time they need washing!"

"I was just kidding, Twilight! Can't you take a joke?"

"That had better be all it is!" Twilight shouted as she decided to talk to Princess Clara for awhile. She trotted to Clara's room to find her looking out her open window, a few birds having landed on the sill and chirping in song as Clara was singing to them.

"Princess, I didn't know you had such a way with birds! I have a friend back home who can do that as well!"

"Oh, hi, Twilight. I am quite talented in that aspect -- Nature's beauty is something to behold! Does your friend look something like you?"

"She's a light yellow pegasus, her name's Fluttershy. She trains birds to sing as well," Twilight said in admiration.

"You said earlier that I don't look like any princesses you've seen. Tell me, what do they look like?"

"The Princesses back home are what we call Alicorns -- they have a unicorn horn, like me, but they also have pegasus wings -- and they are also quite a bit taller and larger than me. Princesses Celestia and Luna are co-rulers of Equestria, the land I came from. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back there before too much longer. They're not going to believe what I tell them about THIS place! By the way, is there somewhere I can get ink and parchment so I can take notes and keep a journal? I need to be writing as much down as I can so I can have a written record of my travels."

"Your description of the princesses is quite interesting, Twilight. Ink and parchment? We use pen and paper to write things down here. My daddy, the King, is one to use ink and parchment, but he's quite far away from here."

"I would be interested in meeting your father! I've never seen a King before, at least not a human one. The last King I remember seeing was an evil one."

"What made him evil?"

"He tried to destroy the Crystal Kingdom."

"My daddy would NEVER do something that awful!"

"By the way, what's that little cage over there for?" Twilight pointed at a pet taxi with the name BLEH on it.

"Whenever my cousin Bleh comes over, that's where she sleeps."

"Isn't that a little small for her?"

"She doesn't mind -- at least, she's never complained to ME about it!"

"I hope you don't make ME sleep in there! I'm still looking for a bed for tonight, and I didn't see enough guest rooms."

"Have you checked with Blackie-boo?"

"Who, you mean Foxxy? Why do you call her that?"

"I've given everyone in the house a nickname so I can remember them more easily. Rat, Swine, Big Retard, Little Retard, Blackie-boo, Homo, Fatty Fatty Two by Four Can't get through the Kitchen Door..."

"Toot's not THAT big," Twilight mused. "She's a little chubby, but..."

"You should have seen her when she was at her biggest, Twilight. She lifted the entire refrigerator and emptied it into her gaping maw!"

"Speaking of food, I'm kind of hungry. When do we get to eat?"

"Well, I guess you could get yourself something right now if you wanted -- we generally don't have any preset time for our meals. Sometimes we get deliveries from the Meat Blimp."

"Meat Blimp?"

"They drop meat from it into our back yard. Oh look, here it comes now!"

Twilight looks out the open window overlooking the back yard. About 200 feet above the ground, a blimp flies over and drops various chunks of meat onto the ground. Spanky, Hero, and Xandir grab the meat and take it into the house. Twilight shudders in horror at the sight.

"Something wrong, Twilight?"

"We ponies don't eat meat, Princess. I can eat fruits, vegetables, grain products, bread, and sweets of just about every kind, but meat is forbidden!"

"I'm sure there's probably something for you in the fridge, then -- why not check it out?"

"I guess I'll do that, then. See you later, Princess Clara," Twilight stated as she trotted out of Clara's room. She made her way down the hallway to the kitchen and opened the fridge with her telekinesis. She looked around inside and didn't see anything she could eat. "Did somepony forget about my needs?" she asked no one.

"Twilight, close the fridge and re-open it," came a voice from a loudspeaker in the kitchen. She did this, and when she looked in the fridge again, there were all kinds of vegetables for her to choose from. Using her telekinesis, she selected lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, celery, and green bell pepper. She made herself an impromptu salad and put the food back in the fridge. While she was eating her food, Foxxy love went through the kitchen.

"You on a diet, Twi?" Foxxy asked, giggling a little.

"No, Foxxy, I can't eat meat -- so this is what I could find for right now. I'd like spaghetti, but the sauce will have to be meatless."

"Oh, okay, Twilight. You haven't seen a bag of Funyuns around here, have you?"

"What are Funyuns?"

"Those are snack chips shaped like onion rings, and they come in a big yellow bag."

"Now that you mention it, I did see Toot walk through here with a yellow bag -- I think she might have been headed back to her room."

Foxxy ran towards Toot's room and shouted, "Hey Toot! Them's FOXXY'S Funyuns, not YOURS!"

Spanky came into the kitchen looking for some food. He fixed himself a sandwich and went back to his room, but before he did, he asked Twilight about a possible tequila party.

"A tequila party? What's that?"

"Well, Twilight, that's where we drink shots of tequila to see who can stay sober the longest!"

"Oh, you're talking about alcohol? I generally don't drink, so I don't think I'll be joining in your party tonight."

"No, no, Twilight, you've got it all wrong! Tequila doesn't have any alcohol in it! You'll have fun!"

"Why does part of me think you're lying to me, Spanky? You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

"Who, me? No, no, no! Never! What makes you think I'd do that?"

"Well, okay, maybe I'll join in then."

"Okay, Twilight, seeya later!" Spanky chuckled and made his way back to the main room to watch TV.

Twilight finished eating and cleaned up behind herself, then made her way into the main room. The TV was on and Spanky, Clara, Foxxy, Toot, and Xandir were watching a program. Shortly the program ended, and Spanky spoke up.

"You know what I thought of that program?" Spanky asked, contempt dripping from his words. Without bothering to wait for an answer, he let out a fart that lasted for an entire minute, during which everyone remained silent. The flatulence stopped and stuttered for a few seconds before Spanky finally sat back down on the carpet. "That's what I thought of that program," he said contentedly.

"That was utterly disgusting," Twilight said as she wrinkled her nose. "Princess Luna would admonish you for your lack of manners."

"Well, she's not here, so she can't!" he laughed. "What are you going to do? Chide me for farting?"

"Don't tempt me to use my magic on you! I can give you a small electrical shock or a big one!"

"Ooh, you got a short fuse, don'tcha! I like my women with spunk! Show me what'cha got!"

"Are you serious? You want me to zap you?"

"If it ain't gonna kill me, go ahead! I wanna see what it feels like!"

Twilight lit her horn, allowing a small burst of electricity to flow from it into the pig's body.

"Ooh, that tingles! Very good, remind me to have you do that for me again some time!"

"Maybe I need to increase the voltage," she muttered.

"I'd say the pig deserved that," Clara chuckled.

Just then, the front door of the house was opened as Captain Hero showed up with a cart load of various alcoholic drinks. "Hey, we're going to start the tequila party early today!" Twilight spotted a sombrero atop his head as he wheeled the cart into the house and started distributing bottles to each of the house members.

"Jose Cuervo? Cabo Wabo? Don Julio? Patron?" Twilight asked as she read the bottles.

Foxxy held an empty shot glass in her right hand. "Here, Twi, let me show you how you do this." She poured the clear liquid from the Patron bottle into the glass, setting it down on the table. She sprinkled a little salt onto her left wrist and grabbed a slice of lime, setting it next to the shot glass. She then drained the shot very quickly, licked the salt on her wrist, then bit down on the lime slice. "Okay, Twi, your turn," she said, pouring another shot. "No, you gotta hold your left arm out like this," she said, grabbing hold of Twilight's left foreleg, sprinkling salt onto it. Twilight used her telekinesis to drain the liquid, quickly licked the salt, and using more telekinesis lifted a lime slice to her mouth, whereupon she bit down on it. She nearly gagged on the liquor, which seemed to burn its way down her throat, only to have the lime juice quell some of the burn.

"Spanky told me that stuff had no alcohol in it! Let me zap him again, this time with more power!" she exclaimed in disgust. The alcohol took effect rather quickly, though, making her feel somewhat light-headed. She decided on another shot as the buzzing feeling in her head felt kind of interesting. "Foxxy, pour me another shot, I would like to try that again."

"Sure thing, Twi, here ya go!" Foxxy grinned. Twilight drained the shot quickly, and then another very shortly after that. "You better pace yourself, girl, that stuff will mess you up if you're not careful!"

The party progressed further, with everyone dancing to the loud blaring music, Spanky walking around with a lampshade on his head, and the others cheering Toot onward as she took a bottle and started chugging it, only to fall over and bang her head against the corner of the coffee table, cutting a large gash which bled profusely.

"Oh no she did NOT!" Xandir giggled hysterically. Twilight was mortified by this, but in her drunken state just laughed along with everyone else. With the consumption of more alcohol, her inhibitions were released as her speech became increasingly slurred. Her housemates started engaging each other a little more intimately. Foxxy took this opportunity to indulge herself by giving Twilight a very passionate French kiss, sliding her tongue over Twilight's. Being so drunk, Twilight chose not to resist this affection and allowed it to happen.

"I can't believe you're kissing that pony!" Clara exclaimed. Foxxy ignored her, and Twilight seemed to be a little too happy to care much about it. Eventually, everyone passed out from the over-consumption.

Twilight awoke to find Foxxy wrapped around her body, hugging her fairly tightly. "Ugh, my head! What happened last night? Foxxy, get off of me!" She teleported out of Foxxy's grasp and made her way to one of the guest rooms. She got into the confessional and said to the camera, "I was totally VIOLATED!"

"Now you know how I felt," Princess Clara said, trying to stifle a giggle.

A Trip to the Mall

Captain Hero took to the confessional for a moment. "It's not fair that the producers let Foxxy get to have all the fun. Jerkoff assholes." He huffed and left for his room.

Twilight decided to pay Princess Clara another visit, knocking on her door.

"It's open, come in," she said. "Oh, hello, Twilight! What's bothering you?"

Twilight had a worried look on her face. "Does your father live in a castle?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Would it be possible for me to meet him there?"

"Well, I'd have to give him a call. It takes about a day for him to show up over here, though."

"I assume he has a library in his castle?"

"But of course! Why wouldn't he?"

"Does he have any books on magic use?"

"I don't really know, Twilight, he doesn't usually allow anyone into the Royal Library -- he told me those books were very private and he didn't even allow ME to read them!"

"Well, I would still like to see if he'll allow me to visit."

"I'm not quite sure what he'd make of you -- he might want to have you as a pet."

"If he has any books on magic, maybe I might be able to make it back home. I don't want to get tricked into getting drunk again and find myself entangled in Foxxy's embrace."

"I felt the same way you did when I first got here. I thought she was the hired help and she got very angry with me, resorting to violence. After I apologized to her for offending her, she kissed me the same way she kissed you. I rather seem to like it every once in awhile, though. It wasn't all THAT bad, was it?"

"I don't usually swing that way, Princess. I guess it didn't feel too bad, but I was quite embarrassed by it."

"Well, maybe you can get Foxxy to apologize to you for her behavior."

"That sounds like a good idea. Would you still be kind enough to call your father over here for me, please?"

"Of course, Twilight, he'll be happy to see me as well! Maybe I can get him to tell me he loves me again."

"Has he ever told you that?"

"The last time he did, he actually addressed both Foxxy and me with 'I love you both very much'."

"What was the circumstance that made him say that?"

"Foxxy and I were working at a dance club -- my father loves the ballet -- and we performed very admirably for him. Unfortunately, his affection was quickly stolen by Xandir doing HIS dance routine."

"I wonder what that looked like," Twilight mused.

"It made me feel quite jealous of him when my father told him that he loved HIM! He pushed both of us away to gaze into Xandir's eyes lovingly."

"That sounds disturbing."

"Think how bad it made ME feel! I couldn't believe it!"

"I'm sorry to hear that, Princess."

"It's okay, Twilight. He'll be here tomorrow and I can try to win back his affection again. He always seems happy to see me whenever he gets a chance to."

"I look forward to meeting him. See you later, Princess." Twilight trotted out of Clara's room and went to Foxxy's room. "Hey, Foxxy, can I get an apology from you? I think you owe me one for what you did last night."

"I'm busy, Twilight, come back later! I'll give you an apology then!" Foxxy shouted through her closed door. Twilight could hear what sounded like a jackhammer, even though she didn't really know what one of those was. A muffled, "Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!" was what she heard after that. Then the sound of a cigarette lighter being used and a slight puffing sound. Twilight was disgusted by this and continued down the hallway. Suddenly, Wooldoor came out of his room in a hurry.

"Hey, Twilight, we're going to the mall today! You wanna come along with us?" he asked.

"A mall? What's that?"

"It's a big place with lots of shops and stores of different kinds! We're going to have so much fun! WHEEEE!"

"I suppose I could join you for this trip. I've never been to anything like that before -- it'll give me a chance to see more of this world, other than this crazy house. By the way, do you know where I can take a shower?"

"Bathroom's down the hallway, last door on the left. Seeya later, Twi! WHEEEE!"

Twilight took this opportunity to shower by herself -- thankfully, everyone else was still either sleeping, or hadn't decided to take a shower yet. As she was toweling off, Foxxy came in.

"Sorry about last night, Twilight. I guess the liquor got to me a little much," Foxxy grinned.

"Okay, Foxxy, just make sure it doesn't happen again!" she growled.

"You seemed to enjoy it last night, Twi!"

"You totally violated me!"

"I just kissed you, that's all. That's not total violation! I'll show you what that is, if you want me to!"

"UGH! NO! Tell me you're not going to the mall with us today!"

"Y'all are taking my van, and if that's the case, hell yeah I'm coming along with!"

"Okay, just behave yourself!" Twilight said grumpily and left for the kitchen. Toot was cooking something, the smell of which wrinkled Twilight's nose. "Toot! What are you cooking?"

"Bacon! Lots of bacon! Want some?"

"Toot, I don't eat meat!"

"What are you, a vegetarian? Meat's good for you! Especially BACON! You can't beat the taste of bacon!"

"Hey, save me some of that, Toot!" said Spanky as he entered the kitchen.

"Spanky, isn't bacon -- part of -- what YOU are?" Twilight asked apprehensively.

"That doesn't mean I can't eat it, Twilight! I've eaten pork chops, so it's no big deal."

"Yeah, Twilight, give it a try! You'll like this stuff!" Toot exclaimed.

"Ugh! Let me get something out of the fridge and I'll be out of here!" Twilight grabbed some lettuce leaves and started munching on them. She took a couple of stalks of celery and a carrot. She carried these in her telekinetic aura to the main room to eat in front of the TV, which was showing some cartoons. She idly watched as she ate. Ling-ling came into the main room at this point and snarled at Twilight. She glared back at him, giving him a low growl. She lit her horn up again to warn him not to try anything. He spiked his back up, taking a more aggressive stance. Foxxy came into the room at this point.

"Ling-ling! You calm down right now! Don't even think of attacking her again, or we'll make you leave the house!" Foxxy admonished him. He cooled off, but grumbled something in his gibberish under his breath. This time there were no subtitles, but Twilight continued to glare at him. "You two are going to need to mend fences here! We can't have both of you at each other's throats!"

"Ling-ling no kabesaba notake popale daga!" he shouted. The subtitle read, "Ling-ling will not apologize to purple dog!"

"Just don't attack me, and we'll get along okay, Ling-ling," Twilight stated flatly. He harrumphed in protest, folding his arms across his chest, and turned his gaze away from her. "Look, I'm not trying to make trouble here! I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to! Princess Clara's father is supposed to be coming here tomorrow, and I'll be leaving with him for his castle!"

This drew a surprised gasp from everyone in the main room watching the TV -- everyone except Ling-ling, who smiled in response to this statement. He mumbled something as a response, the subtitle reading, "Ling-ling happy purple dog leaves tomorrow."

"Come on, Twilight, you've just had a bad day, that's all -- please don't leave!" Foxxy almost begged. Princess Clara entered the main room at this point.

"Princess, have you called your father?" Twilight asked, almost too eagerly.

"Well, I'm still having second thoughts about that, Twilight. He sometimes gets angry if I call him too frequently, and it's only been just a few days since I last called him."

"Please, Princess! I MUST have an audience with him!" Twilight begged. She pouted, giving her very best sad puppy-dog eye look at her.

"Please stop that, Twilight. Oh, all right, I'll call him now, give me a second." Princess Clara goes into the kitchen and uses the house phone to call her father. The conversation is rather short, but he reluctantly agrees to take the Royal Carriage to their house, even though it will take a day to get there.

"This had better be important, Clara -- but it will give me a chance to see Xandir again! I always look forward to meeting him!"

"Oh, Daddy, if that's what it takes to get you to come here, I guess I can deal with that. See you tomorrow!" she said and hung up the phone. She returned to the main room at this point.

"Wooldoor said we're going to the mall today -- when are we leaving?" Twilight asked.

"Wooldoor must have been talking out of his ass again, Twilight, but we can go there today, if that's what you wanna do," said Captain Hero. "I've been meaning to pick up a few things, and today looks like a good day for that."

"I'll drive us there!" Xandir exclaimed. "Foxxy, you didn't drive your van last night after the party, did you?"

"Uh, yeah, I did, Xandir, what's up?"

"Um, Foxxy, you ran over your band-mates!" Xandir exclaimed in shock. Twilight was stunned to see the van badly damaged, with body parts of Foxxy's band members sticking out of various locations on the vehicle.

"Foxxy, why did you do this to us?" asked the light-skinned one.

"Foxxy, help us!" said the very dark-skinned one.

"Hey, hey, hey!" said the very fat one.

After a quick trip to the hospital, everyone was on their way to the mall. Xandir circled the parking lot, looking for a vacant space. Every time one opened up, another vehicle would quickly maneuver into the vacated space, frustrating him greatly. After what seemed like half an hour of driving around the parking lot, Xandir saw a spot -- but it was too narrow for the van to fit in.

"That space is too small!" admonished Captain Hero.

"Don't do it!" Spanky shouted.

"When are we going to get in there? I'm hungry!" Toot exclaimed in frustration.

"I'm going in!" Xandir yelled. He squeezed the van into the spot between two other vehicles, the sides of the van scraping slowly against the other cars, wedging the van very tightly in the too-small space.

"My van!" Foxxy wailed.

"Okay, you got us into this space, now how are we supposed to get out of the van?" Spanky asked.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Captain Hero screamed.

"Let me get a clear line of sight," Twilight said. She got into the front passenger seat and teleported onto the hood of the car in front of the van. She teleported again, this time on top of the van, then again to the back. She used her telekinesis to open the back doors of the van. "Okay, you can get out now," she stated. Everyone slowly exited the rear of the van. Foxxy took a moment to survey the damage.

"How the hell am I supposed to get the van out of that spot?" Foxxy asked sullenly.

"Like this," Twilight said, using her telekinesis again to move the van out of the spot, then back into it.

"That's amazing!" Foxxy exclaimed.

As soon as they entered the mall, everyone split up and went off in different directions. This mall was a large two-story mall with more than a hundred shops, boutiques, and kiosks containing everything anyone might possibly want to purchase. Twilight marveled at the sight, slowly trotting, taking it all in. She was overwhelmed by the masses of humanity walking through the main halls. The sights, sounds, and smells were almost persuasive enough to make her want to stay and take copious notes of everything. Suddenly, there was a commotion on the upper level.

"Go on, Wooldoor! Do it!" Spanky said, egging him on.

"I don't know, Spanky! Stealing is wrong!"

"Look, it's only a little bit of candy! Who's going to stop you?"

"I don't want to, Spanky! What if I get caught? They'll kill me if I do!"

"Come on! Just do it! Don't make me mad at you!"

"O-okay! Here goes nothing!" Wooldoor grabbed a handful of candy from a display and made it extremely obvious he was stealing the candy. The shopkeeper alerted a security officer, who immediately started chasing Wooldoor.

"No! Please don't kill me! I'm too young to die!" he shouted as he ran, the security officer just walking slowly as he watched Wooldoor drop his candy and run to the waterfall. He turned around to face the security officer. "Don't make me do it! I'll jump!"

"Come on, don't do this, I'll have to fill out reports if you do," the officer said.

Wooldoor jumped, but fell only about five feet, as the waterfall and subsequent fountain were quite small. The officer grabbed Wooldoor and took him to the back security office and held him there for about half an hour. "That's what you get for trying to steal stuff!" the officer said sternly.

Twilight had watched this spectacle with mild bemusement and decided to investigate other shops. She lamented the fact that she had no money to buy anything, but was quite intrigued by every shop she entered. Her presence caused quite a stir as well, but everyone was well-behaved towards her. She made her way to the food court, but so much meat being cooked made her feel nauseous and she went off to another store. Foxxy found her and told her it was time to leave.

"I would like to come back here again soon!" Twilight exclaimed excitedly. "If only I had something I could use to take notes of everything! So much to explore!"

"You still wanna go back to the King's castle tomorrow?" Foxxy asked her.

"Well, I don't know, Foxxy -- there's so much to see here!"

"Come on, Twilight, it's time to go home. Let's go find the others and get out of here."

Foxxy and Twilight managed to reconnoiter with everyone else and they made their way back to the house.

"Hey, Wooldoor, what was all that running around all about?" Twilight asked him.

"Spanky made me steal some candy, and security chased me!"

"You should be ashamed of yourself, Spanky! Making him do that is just plain wrong!" Xanidr admonished the pig.

"I was just having a little fun! Can't a guy have a little fun every once in awhile?"

"Not when it means making someone break the law," Clara stated flatly. Presently, they made it back to the house, but not before Captain Hero made an unscheduled stop at a liquor store to pick up a crate of bourbon and scotch.

Waiting for the King

After returning to the house from the mall, Twilight caught Foxxy and Spanky calling the local pizzeria for a delivery. She overheard their conversation and trotted over to them slowly.

"I heard you guys were ordering a pizza -- would you be kind enough to give me a slice of it?" she asked.

"Heh. We've got a little prank going, so no, you can't have any -- unless you want to eat a pizza with SAUSAGE on it!" Spanky laughed.

"But you didn't ask for sausage on the pizza!" Twilight exclaimed. "How will it have sausage on it?"

"Twilight, you might not want to see how that happens unless you have a strong stomach," Foxxy grinned.

"How long do we have to wait?"

"About a half hour," the pig replied. Twilight decided to wait and see what happened. The doorbell rang, and Foxxy took the pizza out of the guy's hands.

"Wait, that's $8.57 -- please pay me first!" the pizza guy protested.

Foxxy opened the pizza box -- Spanky squatted over the pizza and laid a turd on it. He closed the box and returned to the front door.

"There's just one problem," Spanky said. "I don't remember ordering a pizza," he paused dramatically, opening the box, "with SAUSAGE!!"

The pizza delivery guy was mortified to see a turd laying on the pizza. "You suck!" Foxxy laughed at him.

"Is that what you do for fun around here?" Twilight asked almost angrily. "I can't believe you'd do something like that! That's disgusting!"

"Twilight, you need to loosen up a little -- stop taking things so seriously. Maybe we need to get you drunk again!" Foxxy chided.

"Oh, NO! I'm not letting you do THAT again!" she exclaimed and quickly trotted to the kitchen to get some more veggies. "I hope the King is not as crazy as everypony else here," she thought. After finishing her short dinner, she headed to Clara's room to turn in early. She lamented the fact that there was very little reading material, but consoled herself with the prospect of leaving this crazy house in the morning, or at least when Clara's father showed up -- that, or perhaps when he chose to leave, whenever that might be.

Twilight was having trouble sleeping as all the house members were having another liquor party -- the music blared even louder tonight than last night. "That must be because I participated in it last night," she thought. Her thoughts were torn, however -- she didn't really know if things were as bad as she had made them out to be in her mind. "Maybe Foxxy's right -- maybe I do need to loosen up a little," she thought. She tossed and turned in Clara's bed, pulling pillows over her ears trying to shut out the very loud music.

After about an hour or so of her futile attempts at sleep, Twilight trotted to the main room to see that everyone had passed out from having over-consumed the alcohol. She turned off the music, but had to weave carefully between the entangled bodies. Everyone had sort of mingled together in an almost amorphous mass, having removed all their clothing, and engaged in questionable sexual activity. Twilight tried her best to avoid staring too hard at this sight, but couldn't help but chuckle softly at it. "I just hope that didn't happen to ME last night," she thought as she made her way back to Clara's room. She tried to shut out the thoughts of the previous night's activities, at least as best she could, but she couldn't help but remember that passionate kiss Foxxy gave her. Reflecting upon it, it seemed to give her a slight tingle of excitement. She quickly cut that thought short, chastising herself for allowing her base desires to overrule her higher reasoning. She laid back down in Clara's bed and sleep came a bit easier for her now that the music was off.

Twilight awoke to find herself entangled in Clara's embrace, one of affection, not one of lust, as was typical of Foxxy. Twilight nudged Clara's arm off her body and she turned over. Twilight hopped out of the bed and took a shower. She hummed a happy tune as she brushed her mane and tail in order to look her best for the King. She was absolutely certain the King would have some books she could glean the needed information to cross back into her home dimension. She was virtually on pins and needles in anticipation of the King's arrival. She went into the kitchen and checked for something to eat, settling on some more veggies. "I need to learn how to cook for myself," she thought.

She returned to the main room and sat on one of the couches facing the TV. "I wonder if there's anything worth watching -- everything seems so dominated by commercials or people trying to sell useless items," she thought. She turned on the TV and was amazed to see Princess Celestia staring back at her.

"Princess! Can you hear me?" Twilight asked with great excitement.

"Twilight, my faithful student, where are you?" she asked. "I see some furniture, but not much else."

"Princess, I am in some crazy world -- there are humans here, but they act so strangely! There are a couple of other weird creatures who are sentient as well, but one of them is a small orange animal of some sort that tried to attack me with some strange form of magic, even though he doesn't have a horn! I have heard him refer to himself as 'Ling-ling'."

"Are you in danger?"

"Not that I'm truly aware of, Princess -- most of the people in this house are more like Pinkie Pie than anypony else -- they're pretty much harmless, except they have a tendency to obsess about sex. The first night I was here, they got me drunk and a dark-skinned human female kissed me on the mouth with more intensity than I had ever experienced before. There is another female human here who claims to be a Princess herself and her father is coming today. I believe he lives in a castle and has a library, so I am hoping to find a book that can help me find my way back to Equestria."

"I have seen some of the things that have been going on where you are, Twilight, and I am rather displeased by their irresponsible behavior. How exactly did you arrive in that world?"

"I was in the middle of casting a transdimensional travel spell when I was distracted by something crashing into my house."

"Twilight, I will try to find a way to get to where you are. If you succeed in returning to Equestria, I would like a full report of your experiences, though I have witnessed some of them myself."

"What's going on here, Twilight? Who are you talking to? It looks like you're talking to the TV! Stop being so silly, the TV can't talk back to you!" Toot exclaimed, turning it off.

"Hey! I was talking to my mentor! Turn it back on! Please!" Twilight exclaimed in exasperation.

"Your mentor looks like Mr. Ed," Toot stated flatly. "And that show's so old, my grandma was still in high school when they first started showing it!"

Twilight turned the TV back on with her telekinesis, but the Princess was gone. Instead there was an infomercial for the Sham-Wow product. "No! Princess! Please come back!" she turned the TV back off again. Her mood had been crushed by this turn of events, however the King's arrival was something she was still eagerly anticipating.

Meanwhile, Back in Equestria ...

Rainbow Dash had been in a hurry -- she had been informed that today was the day the new Daring Do book was to arrive at the Library, and she wanted to make absolutely certain she would be the first one there to check it out. Little did she know Twilight was in the basement working on her transdimensional transport spell, that she was in the process of casting it, when the cyan pegasus crashed through the first floor window, smashing into one of the bookcases, knocking half the books off the shelf onto the floor. This distraction caused a misdirection in the spell's outcome, landing Twilight in her current position.

"Spike! Is Twiley here? That new Daring Do book is supposed to be coming in today, and I KNOW I'm the first one here! Where is she?" Rainbow asked with great excitement.

"Rainbow, that's gotta hurt every time you do that! If I remember correctly, Twi said she was heading down to the basement to work on a new spell and didn't want any distractions. I hope she wasn't in the middle of casting that spell when you came crashing through the window," Spike stated optimistically.

"Well, let's head down there and see."

Spike opened the door leading downstairs and the two of them proceeded slowly. The mix of lab equipment and books made for a bit of an obstacle course, but presently they found an open book and a rune circle on the ground, a piece of chalk laying on the floor near the circle. Twilight was nowhere to be seen. Rainbow looked at the page the book had been opened to and read the words slowly.

"What's that egghead gotten herself into?" Rainbow silently thought. "Spike, she's teleported to another universe -- we need to find out where she's gone. We need to tell Princess Celestia about this."

"Okay, Rainbow, I'll send her a letter," Spike said glumly. "I hope she makes it back safely, I don't want to lose her." Spike quickly scrawled out a letter informing Celestia of Twilight's recent spellcasting attempt, expressing his concern for her safety and requesting information of her whereabouts should she be able to locate her faithful student. Shortly after signing the letter, he used his dragon breath to send it to the Princess. Shortly after sending the letter, he was enveloped in Celestia's golden aura and teleported to her private study.

"Spike, I will cast a spell to locate her. We shall see where she is," Celestia announced almost proudly. A portal window appeared in a golden aura, and Twilight came into view. She was sitting on a couch in the main room of the Drawn Together house, glaring sternly at a small orange creature. Spike watched in horror as the small orange creature leaped in the air and fired a dark purple ball of energy at her. He showed a bit of relief when he saw the orange creature enveloped in Twilight's magenta aura, unable to move and lowered to the floor.

"Where is she?" Spike asked. "What sort of creatures are those?"

"I don't know, Spike. I haven't seen creatures like those before. I suggest we watch to see what else occurs."

"Is there some way we can talk to her? Can we hear what's going on where she is?"

"I will see what I can do about that, Spike." Celestia used some more magic and they were able to hear Twilight's interactions with the house members at this point.

"I'm not going to stand here and let you to attack me!" Twilight said angrily. "I won't allow you to do that!"

"You tell him, Twi!" Spike exclaimed excitedly.

"Spike, she can't hear you. We can only see and hear what's going on where she is. I am still working on a way to communicate with her, but until then we may only observe what happens in this particular room."

"Okay, I guess. Is there a way of keeping the spell going so we can see what's happening?"

"The spell only requires periodic recharging and requires little effort to cast so we can watch for as long as we want, or at least for as long as YOU want. I have important matters to attend to -- my day court is quite busy today. Perhaps Luna can observe Twilight's actions in my stead. Those creatures seem rather fascinating." Celestia then teleported to Luna's bedchamber and woke her, informing her of what was transpiring with Twilight and that Spike was in her private study watching Twilight by means of the portal view spell. Luna took it upon herself to teleport to Celestia's study to assist Spike in his task of observation.

Luna and Spike watched as Twilight was having a discussion with Foxxy and Wooldoor. "Spike, do you know what that yellow ... thing ... is?"

As if to answer her question, the yellow odd-shaped thing responded to Twilight's question by announcing the fact that he was a Sockbat, hence his name. Luna fell silent as she watched the exchange between Twilight and Wooldoor.

"Wooldoor, why do you say WHEEEE! all the time?" Twilight asked him.

"I have to say that every 30 seconds or I'll explode! WHEEEEE!" he exclaimed.

"What odd behavior," Luna mused.

"That dark-skinned one looks kinda cute," Spike offered. The two fell silent again and continued to watch. Every so often, Twilight would leave the main room for long stretches of time -- even so, this gave Spike and Luna an opportunity to watch the other house members engage in their juvenile antics. They watched Xandir jump with a spin a few times to illustrate a new ability he had achieved. They watched Foxxy and Clara get into another fight as a result of Clara's continued racial ignorance. They watched Spanky sit on a cantaloupe that had been cut in half.

"What in the name Faust is that pig doing?!" Luna asked in exasperation.

"I have no idea, Princess. Did you hear a faint noise while he was sitting on that melon?"

"That pig is utterly repulsive! If I had a way of sending him to the moon, that would be the first thing I do with him!"

They watched as Twilight and the others walked back into the room to see Spanky still sitting on the melon.

"A-heh. This is kinda embarrassing. If you guys had walked in about an hour later, I could have chalked it up to the alcohol." He gave a sheepish grin and stood, the melon now in front of his abdomen. "What the hell? Let's PARTY!!"

"Is there a way we can show Twilight's friends back in Ponyville what's going on here, so they know she's safe? Somewhat?" Spike asked.

Luna smiled. "I will see what I can do about this, Spike. I shall cast a spell to replicate this window so the other Element Bearers might see what is transpiring with Twilight." She proceeded to cast the spell so that Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Pinkie Pie could simultaneously watch Twilight and the others in the house interact with each other. This occurred just in time for them to watch the entirety of the tequila party.

The Return of the King

The anticipation was killing Twilight. The day continued to wear on and her optimism continued to fade with each passing hour. She had eaten lunch, gotten into yet another disagreement with Ling-ling, one which required Captain Hero to intervene (which meant he took Ling-ling's side, Twilight having to use lightning bolt zaps to get him to stop), and more chatting with Clara. The sun was setting when the King's Royal Carriage finally made its way into the circle drive in front of the house. Clara was quite excited as well, but Twilight appeared almost ecstatic over his arrival. She was bouncing like Pinkie Pie on one of her better days. As soon as the King entered the front door, Twilight jumped on him, knocking him to the floor.

"Oh, King! You can't believe how happy I am to see you! I've been waiting all day for you to show up! Please take me back to your castle so I can visit your library! Do you have any books on magic? I can't believe I'm meeting a real King!"

As Twilight was spouting words faster than Pinkie Pie on speed, two of the King's personal bodyguards grabbed her by her mane and lifted her off him.

"What the hell is this? I haven't even made it in the front door and this purple pony jumps me and starts babbling all this nonsense about my library!" he shouts quite indignantly. He turns to the purple unicorn, still being roughly held by a bodyguard. "What makes you think I'll allow you into my Royal Library? Who the hell are you?"

"I apologize for jumping on you, your Majesty, I forgot my manners in my excitement. I am Twilight Sparkle, faithful student of Princess Celestia of Equestria, Element of Magic. Pleased to meet you, your Majesty!"

"Element of Magic, eh? I don't have any books on magic in my Royal Library, and even if I did, I wouldn't allow you in there! I don't allow pets in my castle! Most especially when they jump on me and knock me down!"

Twilight's face dropped and her ears lay flat against her head. Tears started to well up in her eyes. "Your Majesty! I cast a spell that took me from my home world and deposited me HERE! I want to go back home, and I need your help! PLEASE!"

"Where is your home?"

"Equestria is across a dimensional barrier, one which I crossed with the spell I cast. Something distracted me when I was casting the spell, and I was hoping you might have a book I could study in order to find a way back home."

"Hmm. I understand your predicament, but I doubt I would be able to help you. Perhaps you might call upon this 'Princess Celestia' you named earlier in order to obtain HER help in getting you back home."

"I was talking to her earlier through the TV, but Toot turned it off and I haven't been able to regain contact with her."

"Be that as it may, Twilight, I cannot take you back to my castle. I have very important matters of state to attend to, and you would only be getting in the way if I were to allow you to stay there. Perhaps this Princess of yours may attempt to contact you again -- but I cannot take you with me."

Ling-ling was watching this exchange with piqued interest, and when he discovered that the 'purple dog' would not be leaving, he expressed his disappointment by emitting a greenish liquid from his orange fur. In less than a heartbeat, Xandir, Toot and Wooldoor set upon Ling-ling, licking him furiously. Twilight noticed an unusual scent emanating from Ling-ling and trotted over to him to investigate. Gingerly, she extended her tongue to taste this liquid, some of which still clung to him and had not been licked off by the others. She almost immediately regretted making that decision until the drug took effect on her. A big grin crept across her face and her eyes went wide, the pupils diminishing almost to pinpricks.

"I can see everything!" she shouted gleefully. She started prancing around the main room, laughing and giggling almost maniacally.

"What the hell just happened to her?" the King asked. As if to respond to his question, Xandir, Toot and Wooldoor danced through the room, having removed all their clothing as well. They too were laughing and giggling uncontrollably.

"They're high on Ling-ling, father," Clara explained. "I don't think I could stand to do THAT."

Twilight started doing random teleports around the main room, perhaps in order to experience the sensation it caused while under the effects of the hallucinogen Ling-ling had excreted. Shortly the high wore off. "Ugh, what happened?" she asked. She looked around the room and saw the faces of shock on everyone who hadn't indulged themselves on Ling-ling.

Ling-ling uttered some more gibberish, and the subtitle read, "We are even now, purple dog!" She trotted quickly over to him and licked him again, but this time nothing happened.

"Ling-ling, what happened?" she asked him. He just stared at her, grinning.

"Twilight, he only gives off that stuff if he experiences disappointment," Toot said. "Hey, Ling-ling, I got a quarter for you, you want it?" He nodded his head excitedly. "Oh, no! It's a tumor!" Ling-ling lowered his head and sighed in disappointment. His fur oozed green liquid again and Toot took a big lick. Twilight took another lick and grinned again, experiencing the euphoria of the intense narcotic.

"I can do ANYTHING!" Twilight shouted, using her magic to turn Ling-ling into a stallion and Clara into a pink pegasus mare. Twilight galloped in a tight circle around the King, annoying him greatly.

"STOP IT!" he thundered. "Turn my daughter back into her human form NOW!"

Twilight ignored his command, trotting over to Foxxy and giving her a kiss. Foxxy responded by embracing Twilight, one hand on the back of her head, the other she ran through her tail, kissing the purple mare quite passionately. Foxxy's tongue found Twilight's and wrestled against it for dominance. Twilight's eyes widened in surprise, then closed as she allowed the sensation to overtake her. Then the high wore off.

"Foxxy! What are you doing?!" Twilight exclaimed in surprise as she pulled away from her as forcefully as she could.

"Twilight! Turn my daughter back NOW!" the King shouted at her.

Twilight gasped in shock as she saw Clara transformed. The pink pegasus was flying around, enjoying herself thoroughly after having discovered how to use her wings correctly. "This is wonderful, daddy! I never knew it would be like THIS!" Twilight enveloped Clara in her magenta aura, lowering her to the floor and casting a reverse transformation spell to return her to her human form. "Aww, I was starting to enjoy that!" Twilight then saw Ling-ling, and changed him back, much to his disappointment, which caused him to ooze more green liquid from his fur. This time, Twilight ignored him, allowing Toot, Xandir and Wooldoor to go for another round of silliness.

"I will have to admit, Twilight, your magic displays are quite impressive. If I may, I would like to have you come to my castle so you can perform for my guests," the King stated optimistically. Twilight beamed at his statement.

"Would you be kind enough to allow me to peruse your library?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, I believe I can make an exception for you."

"So! Shall we be leaving now?"

"Twilight, I just arrived about an hour ago. I have come not only to visit with my daughter, but to take in some sights as well. I will be heading out to watch the ballet, and I would like to invite you to come as well."

"I would be happy to, your Majesty. I'm sorry I turned your daughter into a pegasus."

"Well, she's back to normal now, so no harm done. If you like, though, there are certain dignitaries who have a tendency to irritate me when they stop by the castle. You may feel free to transform THEM into ponies, should it strike your fancy."

"Well, I don't normally DO that sort of thing, your Majesty -- I had no idea that Ling-ling's disappointment was such a powerful narcotic."

"What did it feel like? Looked like it was fun."

"Well, it's like being able to see everything in very bright and vibrant colors -- everything seems to shimmer, the lights almost burn your eyes. My mind seemed to expand, it seemed like my power had increased greatly. It made me feel very happy, like a little school-filly once again!"

"Well, maybe that's an opportunity for another time. Clara, lets go into the kitchen so we can catch up on things." His daughter followed him into the kitchen and they sat down at the table and held a lengthy conversation. Twilight turned on the TV and Princess Celestia was on the screen again.

"Princess Celestia, you're back! I was wondering what had happened," Twilight smiled.

"I was wondering that myself, Twilight. Would you mind explaining to me what your antics were all about? I saw you lick that orange creature and then you started behaving very irresponsibly."

"Ling-ling excretes a certain narcotic with hallucinogenic properties when he experiences disappointment. I decided to investigate this phenomenon only to fall victim to the strength of this narcotic. I had to conduct a further experiment to determine the duration of the event, and found myself somewhat disappointed by the short duration of the experience."

"In short, you got high from licking him, and you wanted another dose."

"I'm sorry, Princess! I need to conduct more experiments!"

"You have conducted enough experiments. I see that this 'King' you talked about has arrived. I trust he will allow you entry to his library. If you cannot find a book to assist you in your return to Equestria, I request you return to this location and I will attempt to return you myself. As of yet, I am still working on a spell to perform that task, however it is still in the testing stages. It will take a few more days until I am confident enough in the results to return you safely."

"Tia, does this mean she's going to be leaving that place?" Luna asked.

"Princess Luna! Are you there as well?" Twilight asked excitedly.

"Yes, Twilight, we have been watching you, hoping to regain contact with you again," Luna stated.

"Wait -- you mean -- you have been seeing everything that's -- been going on -- in here?" Twilight gasped.

"Yes, Twilight. Everything," Celestia responded flatly.

This Is Not Ballet!

"Hey, Twilight, who ya talkin' to?" asked Foxxy. She looked at the TV and saw the regal-looking white Alicorn, her polychromatic mane billowing in the solar wind. "Whoa, cool! Who is she?"

"Foxxy, this is Princess Celestia. She is my mentor and the co-ruler of Equestria, my homeland. I really want to go back -- I can't believe I got stuck here!"

"Twilight, may I have a few words with this 'Foxxy' you're talking to?"

"Yes, Princess." Twilight moves away from the screen and motions to Foxxy to stand in front of it and talk to the Sun Goddess.

"You mean you can hear and see what's going on in here?" Foxxy asked her. "I thought TV's only worked one way."

"Foxxy, I am using magic to peer into your universe, so that I may observe my faithful student's actions as well as those of everypony else in the room that this object occupies. I would appreciate it if you would please refrain from further acts of affection directed towards Twilight. You and your compatriots are proving to be a bad influence on my student, and I am hoping that she may safely return to my realm. If it is possible, I would like to have some words with this 'King' who has recently arrived."

"Um, I guess I can get him for you, uhh .. Princess?" Foxxy stated, confused as to how to address Celestia. Foxxy went into the kitchen to get the King's attention, however the King and his daughter were enjoying hugs and kisses with each other. Foxxy cleared her throat loudly to get their attention. "Your Majesty, Princess Celestia would like to talk to you in the main room. She's talking through the TV, so you'll have to stand in front of it to talk to her."

"Very well then. I am interested in talking to other royalty. This should be interesting," he mused as he made his way back to the front room to stand in front of the TV. He gave a sidelong glance at the Sun Goddess, wondering if talking to a pony was something sane people chose to do. After a moment's hesitation, he decided to chance it.

"Princess Celestia, I presume?"

"Your Majesty, King ..."

"You may call me King, that is fine, Princess. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"It is my sincere hope that you have in your library's collection a book which may be of aid to my faithful student's needs, one which may enable her to return to my realm. My student, Twilight Sparkle, has placed her hopes upon you. I hope you will treat her with kindness and allow her full access to your library. She is highly intelligent and very gifted in the magical arts -- I believe you have already been witness to just some of what she is capable of doing. I apologize for such an imposition and request your cooperation in this matter."

"Rather long-winded, isn't she?" He asked Twilight. "Princess, I have a few matters to attend to before returning to my castle, however I believe I will be able to accommodate your request. I will see to it that her needs are addressed as best as possible, and I will do my best to make sure she is well protected and remains safe while in my custody. Should she request return to this location, I will be able to have an escort return her here."

"You have my thanks, King. I would like to talk with Twilight once more." The King stepped aside, allowing Twilight to stand before the TV again and address her mentor.

"Yes, Princess? Is there anything else?"

"Twilight, I trust you not to make any more foalish decisions or engage in any further silliness, as I am not the only one able to see your actions. Your friends back in Ponyville are also being entertained by what transpires in that room. Please keep that in mind for further reference."

"WHAT??!? PLEASE tell me that's not true!" Twilight exclaimed, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She dropped to her haunches, her ears drooping. "Is there some way I can repair the damage I've done?"

"You will have to meet with your friends and inform them of how exactly those events transpired. Hopefully they will understand your predicament and forgive you your actions. I will give you three more days to return to Equestria -- if you do not return within that time, I shall travel to the world you're in and return you myself. Please make every effort to return here as soon as possible -- your friends are growing impatient with your continued absence from Ponyville."

"Yes, Princess Celestia, I will do my best. I am sorry to have disappointed you."

"Not at all, Twilight, I have found certain ... actions highly entertaining," she stated softly as her smile widened somewhat.

"Twilight, I believe it's time for us to head out if you wish to see the ballet," the King announced.

"Oh, I'd love to! Princess Celestia, the King has been kind enough to invite me to watch the ballet with him! If you don't mind, that is."

"By all means, Twilight, you are welcome to accompany him. Please inform me of this new culture upon your return."

"You have my word, Princess!" she exclaimed excitedly as she got up and trotted over to the King. The two of them were escorted out the front door by his four bodyguards to the Royal Carriage. There was just one small problem -- Toot had gotten drunk and stolen the carriage, wrecking it in the process. A tow truck had the carriage attached to it and was lowering it onto the circle drive.

"My Carriage! Who the HELL stole my carriage and WRECKED IT??!"

"Please give me a moment, your Majesty," Twilight said. She focused magic through her horn and enveloped the Royal Carriage in her magenta aura. Just a few moments later, it had been repaired so that it appeared completely undamaged.

"This pleases me greatly, Twilight. You have my gratitude for this repair." The King turned to one of his bodyguards. "Stebbins, take us to The Ballet." Stebbins snickered and took the driver's seat. The King, Twilight, and the remaining three bodyguards entered the Royal Carriage and they sped off to a rather seedy section of town to find a strip club. It wasn't until after they had entered and found a spot that Twilight suddenly realized that what they were about to witness wasn't ballet at all! There was a stage with a few poles running from floor to ceiling, situated about four feet above the seating areas. The King had a prime location, Twilight standing next to him. He pulled out a handful of bills in anticipation of the coming event.

Twilight was shocked to see two very familiar looking women take the stage -- a slender light-skinned young woman with fairly long reddish-brown hair and a slightly more voluptuous dark-skinned woman. They were wearing g-string thongs and pasties on their nipples and they began dancing very provocatively. Twilight started to call their names, and Foxxy very quickly put her right index finger to her lips when she made eye contact with her, an attempt to keep Twilight from saying anything. She turned to the King. "Your Majesty, are those two who I think they are?"

"I believe so, Twilight. Aren't they lovely?"

"Well...I wouldn't put it like that, your Majesty. I mean, they are beautiful, but I don't find myself attracted to them the way you are. Isn't it wrong to be physically attracted to your daughter?"

"She looks so much like her mother. Foxxy has this unmistakable exotic sexiness to her -- I just can't tear my eyes away from her!"

The two of them embraced each other, kissing very passionately. Foxxy grabbed a pull handle, dumping water on both of them as they continued this intense display of affection. The audience cheered wildly, throwing money at both of them. The King went up to both of them, smiling broadly.

"What did you think, Daddy?" Clara asked.

"I love you both very much!" he exclaimed.

Another dancer had taken the stage -- and Twilight was astonished again. A tan-skinned young man wearing a pink one-piece bodysuit was gyrating his hips, posturing quite provocatively, showing off his body. The King very quickly turned his attention to Xandir, who wore a big smile on his face as he continued to dance. Twilight seemed to be almost entranced by this display. Xandir then dumped a bucket of water on his body, rubbing against a pole as he did so. Once again, the audience cheered in approval, showering him with more money.

"Oh, yes, very good!" the King exclaimed.

"Your Majesty, I thought we were going to see ballet -- I don't think this qualifies as that," Twilight said in exasperation.

"Did you enjoy yourself tonight?"

"It was ... interesting," she replied.

"Stebbins, I believe it's time to go. Let's leave for the airport."

"I thought it took a whole day to get here from your castle," Twilight said quizzically.

"I tell Clara that to discourage her from leaving that house. She needs some time away from the castle to expand her horizons, as she has spent most of her life in the castle. I was thinking maybe she needed to find and make some new friends."

"That explanation sounds awfully familiar," Twilight mused.

I Thought You Lived in a Castle!

Foxxy Love took to the confessional again. "You know, I'm gonna miss that purple pony. She might not have known how to have fun when she got here, but I'll bet she does now! I'm kinda pissed off that her "mentor" told me she didn't want me kissing her anymore. I'm hoping she'll come back, though."

Princess Clara went into the confessional next. "I enjoyed having Twilight here -- she's a lot nicer than any of the other housemates and I'm going to miss her. I hope she comes back, but I'm not holding my breath for that."

Captain Hero took his turn in the confessional. "Y'know, she was kinda cute. Yeah, I'm gonna miss her as well."

Xandir was up next. "I was hoping Twilight could show me how to use magic. I really enjoyed how friendly and sweet and nice she was and that she also washed the dishes for us a few times. I hope she comes back soon!"

Ling-ling sat in the chair for a moment. He muttered some more of his gibberish, the subtitle reading, "Ling-ling will not miss purple dog. Good riddance!"

Stebbins drove the Royal Carriage to the airport where they got onto the King's private chartered jet. Twilight had to be scooted onto the plane, as she was absolutely terrified of getting on board it.

"What manner of carriage is this? I've never seen anything like it before. How does it work?" Twilight asked the King.

"It's called an airplane. It lifts off the ground and travels through the air, Twilight."

"It doesn't look like it can fly -- I don't want to get on that thing!"

"You don't have a choice, Twilight. Do you want to go to my castle? Then you have to get on the plane."

Very reluctantly she walked into the plane, noticing a bunch of seats. She decided it might not be so bad, so she sat down in one of the seats by a window. The plane was a relatively small leer jet, comfortably seating eight passengers.

"Be sure to buckle up, Twilight, this shouldn't take very long at all," the King said, smiling at her. Using her magic, she strapped herself into the seat.

"I wonder what this will feel like," she mused. Shortly the plane taxied onto the runway and took off. Twilight felt her ears pop as the plane gained altitude. "Ow, that hurts! Why does that happen?"

"I assume this is your first time ever flying in a plane," the King said. "Swift changes in altitude do that to you. I'm used to it now, but that's basically what happens. We should arrive on my island in a couple of hours."

"You live on an island?" Twilight asked, then looked out the window to see the Pacific Ocean. She gasped when she saw the expanse of water as far as she could see. "What if the plane falls into the water?" she asked nervously.

"I assure you, Twilight, there's no danger of that happening. Air flight is very safe."

The rest of the flight went uneventfully and the plane landed on the King's island. Another carriage took the King, Twilight, and his four bodyguards to the castle, though when they arrived, Twilight was astonished to see that the mansion looked nothing like a castle. In fact, it looked quite similar to the expanse of the house she had left before.

"I thought you lived in a castle!" she exclaimed in exasperation.

"I used the term loosely, Twilight," the King chuckled.

"It looks exactly like the other house! Please don't tell me there are crazy people in there!"

"I can assure you that there aren't any crazy people in my castle," the King said, starting to show some annoyance. "Now, if you don't mind, I will escort you to my Library. I don't want this to take any longer than it has to."

"Thank you, your Majesty!" Twilight exclaimed excitedly, bouncing in anticipation.

"Behave yourself, please." The King showed her through the front door, the main room, down a hallway and into a large room with bookshelves lining the walls. The books had been packed fairly tightly, but Twilight was agog at the sight. "There are about 4,000 books in here. I hope you can find what you're looking for, and find it quickly at that. Do you need anything to drink?"

"If you could make a pot of coffee for me, that would be great!"

"I will have one of my servants brew a pot of coffee for you. Espresso okay?"

"Ooh, yeah! That would be wonderful, your Majesty! Thank you so much!" She used her telekinesis to examine the books one by one, reading titles aloud as she did so. The King's library had many volumes on various subjects, but then she found something that truly piqued her interest. "Encyclopaedia Brittanica? Shouldn't that be Bittanica instead?" she asked herself. She opened the first volume and started reading. The immersion into human culture, history, geography and other study was so complete that she lost track of time during her voracious reading. She plowed through all 27 volumes of the Encyclopaedia, but it took her two full days just to do that.

"I can always find that book on magic soon," she mused to herself while reading the Encyclopaedia. She went through pot after pot of the strong black coffee, her eyes becoming bleary from the constant reading. She was utterly fascinated by the thick volumes and desperately wanted copies for her personal library and the Canterlot Library. Then she found the Oxford English Dictionary.

Celestial Arrival / Twilight's Return

Back in Ponyville, Twilight's friends were getting nervous. It had been nearly three days since they'd last seen her on their magic viewing portals. They were getting sick of seeing the other housemates engage in their juvenile antics, and without Twilight to garner their attention, they went back to their normal activities. Life in Ponyville had started to get boring without being able to see Twilight and they were starting to worry. Apparently, so was Princess Celestia.

"Luna, it's been three days. Twilight should have made some contact of some sort or another. I am going to go after her so please take care of day court for me until I return."

"Tia, we hope for your speedy return as well as Twilight's. We will do our best to maintain some semblance of order in your absence. You have our word on this."

"Luna, I place my trust in you. I shall return shortly." With that, the Sun Goddess teleported to the house where Twilight had been staying with all the crazy house guests. She POPped into the main room where the TV was, appearing to emerge from it much to the surprise of those who were watching it.

"What? Who are you?" Toot asked, showing great surprise.

"I might ask the same question of you. Where is my student?" Celestia asked.

"Oh, hello! You must be Princess Celestia!" exclaimed an excited Princess Clara.

"Ah. You are the King's daughter, Clara. Do you know where Twilight Sparkle is?"

"Hey, Princess," Foxxy said as she entered the room. "If you're looking for Twilight, the King took her with him. I'm not sure where he lives, though."

"My father lives on an island quite a ways away from here," Clara stated.

The TV showed an announcer then flashed a logo. "We interrupt the President's speech for a special 'Now where they at'?" The screen then shows Twilight Sparkle reading a large book in the King's Royal Library. "Twilight is currently in the King's library," stated the announcer.

"Where is that, exactly?" asked Celestia, who was becoming annoyed by the pretzel logic being employed in this seemingly crazy universe. As if to answer her question, the TV then showed the exact location of the King's island, with arrows pointing to that location as well as the location of the house she was in.

"And if you want to know where Twilight is exactly, the King's island is here and you are here."

"Thank you, whomever you are," Celestia smiled.

"You're welcome, Princess Celestia," stated the announcer. Princess Celestia lit her horn and cast her teleport, arriving at the entrance of the King's "Castle." Impatiently, she knocked on the front door. She was answered by one of the King's bodyguards.

"Who or what are you?" he asked brusquely.

"My student is in this domicile. I wish to meet her immediately."

"Is your student a purple ... pony?" he asked.

"Her name is Twilight Sparkle, and yes, she is a purple pony. I was told she is in the Library. Please take me to her at once."

"Jeez, you're so pushy. Not even the King is like that, even when he's at his angriest."

"Ah, hello, Princess Celestia. Welcome to my Castle," the King stated.

"King. I request you escort me to your Library so I may meet with Twilight."

"Certainly, Princess. Walk this way, please."

"If I could walk that way ..." she chuckled.

"Heh. I thought you'd say that!" he chuckled in response. He led the Sun Goddess to the Library, where Twilight was still reading through the Oxford English Dictionary. Celestia noted the large number of books and finally smiled when she saw her student.

"Twilight, my faithful student. I thought you were supposed to be looking for books on magic."

"Whuh? Whuzzah waht?" asked a very bleary eyed Twilight. A half-full cup of coffee was on the table, its contents cold. She had read all the way into the letter W, just about a volume or so away from finishing the OED. Groggily she turned to her mentor, her eyes widening at the sight. "Princess? Has it been three days already? I guess I lost track of time reading this dictionary -- it has thirteen volumes! Please let me finish it!"

"What else have you been reading? I see quite a bit of erotic literature in here, some of it downright pornographic. I hope you haven't stuck your nose into THOSE items, Twilight."

"There is this 27 volume set of encyclopedias I found -- everything about human culture, history, anything I need to know is in those volumes! Your majesty, King, do you have an extra set of them?"

"That's an old set I never use any more. Feel free to take them if you'd like," the King offered. Twilight ran to him and hugged him tightly. Princess Celestia cleared her throat loudly to get the purple mare's attention.

"Oh, sorry, Princess. That set of encyclopedias will prove to be an invaluable tool to understanding everything there is to know about humanity -- or almost everything." She used her telekinesis to carry the whole set. "Your Majesty, King -- may I have the dictionary as well?"

"Yes, you may take it as well. I need some free room in here for my more esoteric literature anyway."

"If it's anything like most of what I've seen in here, King, I express no curiosity as to its subject matter," the Princess stated flatly. "Twilight, I believe it is long past time for us to leave this world of insanity." The Sun Goddess wrapped a wing around Twilight, enveloping them in her golden aura and teleporting back to Canterlot Castle. They arrived in the Princess' private bed chambers.

"Twilight, I trust you have learned your lesson about casting such spells to travel across dimensional barriers into unknown universes," Celestia smiled.

"Thank you so much for returning me, Princess! I promise I will never use such a spell again without your permission!"

"Very well then, Twilight. You may return to your library in Ponyville with the materials you have been given by the King."

"Twilight! We were worried sick about you!" Spike cried with happiness upon finally being reunited with the lavender librarian.

"Oh, Spike, I've missed you too! I have some new material for the library as well. The King gave me this set of encyclopedias and this thirteen volume dictionary! I can hardly wait to get back into it!"

"I saw what you were doing in that house, with that dark-skinned female," Spike said, grinning. "Did you like it there?"

Before she could answer, there was a knocking at the door. Twilight went to answer it to find a certain pink earth pony grinning from ear to ear.

"Twiley! You're back! We've been waiting for you to come back, and we've got the biggest, bestest welcome back party EVER! I was watching you have so much fun over there, you made me jealous! I wanna go there! I'll bet everypony there just partied all the time! Just like me!" Pinkie Pie could barely contain her excitement.

"Everypony in that house is CRAZY!" Twilight exclaimed in exasperation. "I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life!" She then went outside the front door to find the others having gathered in front of the library.

"Aww yeah, you were AWESOME, Twiley! I never knew you were that kind of pony!" Rainbow exclaimed, beaming a big smile.

"Tell me, Twilight, darling, what was it like to kiss that girl? Did you feel a tingling inside? I simply must know all the details, dear!" exclaimed a smiling Rarity.

"Ah cain't believe ya did that, Twi! Why did ya do it? I felt embarrassed fer ya. Ah'm glad yer back, we missed you so much!" Applejack exclaimed, seeming to heave a sigh of relief.

"Um, Twilight ... I guess you did what you had to, I suppose. Next time, please give us some advance warning before you take off like that! We were so worried about you!" Fluttershy added.

"Trixie thinks you enjoyed yourself too much when you were there, Sparkle," she grinned.

"Oh NO! Not you too, Trixie! How is that even possible?" asked a very red-faced Twilight.

"Trixie wants to know if you can do with her what you did with that dark-skinned girl," she grinned impishly.

"Yeah, Twiley! Do it! Show her what you're made of!" Rainbow Dash egged her on.

"Um, well, uh ..." Twilight stuttered.

"Yeah, Twiley, I'll make a special batch of 'I just kissed and made up with Trixie' cupcakes for ya!" exclaimed the pink party pony.

"Twilight, darling, you did get VERY friendly with that Foxxy girl!" Rarity chided, grinning slyly.

"Trixie would like Sparkle to get very friendly with her!" she giggled.

"Rarity! I was drunk or high when that happened!" the lavender mare exclaimed in exasperation.

"Yeah, that tequila party must have been something special! Wish I could have been there for that!" Rainbow chuckled.

"Trixie did not see the tequila party," she mused.

"Oh, you missed a lot, Trixie dear!" Rarity chortled. "Princess Luna made copies of it for us on memory crystals so we could watch everything again whenever we want to!"

"WHAT?! I don't remember anything that happened after I had downed four shots of that stuff," Twilight said, her cheeks turning bright red from embarrassment.

"Trixie wishes she could have been there for that!" she laughed.

"I woke up with a nasty hangover," Twilight said glumly.

"Well? Trixie is waiting, Sparkle!" she grinned. Twilight looked nervously at her friends, each one of them grinning in approval. Her cheeks were bright red, but after a moment or so, she decided to throw caution to the wind. She rushed Trixie, wrapping her fore-hooves around her withers and mashing her lips against the ones belonging to the azure mare. Trixie gasped in surprise at Twilight's forwardness, but opened her mouth willingly. Their lips met in a very passionate kiss, their tongues doing a tango as they lost themselves in the heat of the moment. A cheer erupted from the others as they watched this spectacle.

"Aww, yeah! I knew you could do it, Twiley! You go! Yeah!" Rainbow exclaimed in her excitement. Fluttershy blushed furiously, turning her head away, and almost suddenly, Rainbow had embraced her and engaged her in a passionate kiss!

"Darling, save some of that for me, would you please?" Rarity gasped as the kiss continued to lengthen.

The pink earth pony was bouncing up and down in excitement upon seeing her friend take the initiative. "All right, Twiley! I'll get on those cupcakes right now!" she exclaimed as she dashed back to the Bakery.

Twilight backed off to take a breath and Trixie took a moment to regain her composure. "Trixie liked that very much, Sparkle! Trixie wants some more!"

"Later, I promise," Twilight grinned. "We've got a party to go to!" "I'm glad this didn't turn out as badly as I feared it might," Twilight thought to herself.

"Trixie wants to know where this party is being held," she mused. "You will have Trixie at your party?"

"Sure, Trixie, let's head over to the Bakery, since that's where Pinkie took off to," Twilight said optimistically.

"Luna, is it true you saved the tequila party to memory crystals?" Celestia asked.

"Yes, Tia, we did!" she chuckled.

"How about we have our own tequila party tonight?"

"We thought you'd never ask, Tia!"

Just then, Chrysalis barged her way in. "Did someone mention something about a tequila party? I am SO there!"

FIN

Author's Note

I apologize for resubmitting this, but I wasn't satisfied with the rushed ending I put to this story last night. I hope this re-written and re-submitted ending is more to your liking. I think this is a bit more humorous.
To those of you who upvoted, favorited, or wrote positive comments, thank you very much.
To those of you who downvoted, I apologize if the writing did not meet your exacting standards. Writing a crossover of this type was rather difficult, but I will admit there are parts of it I enjoyed writing.
Thank you for your patience.