Twilight Gets Drawn In

After returning to the house from the mall, Twilight caught Foxxy and Spanky calling the local pizzeria for a delivery. She overheard their conversation and trotted over to them slowly.

"I heard you guys were ordering a pizza -- would you be kind enough to give me a slice of it?" she asked.

"Heh. We've got a little prank going, so no, you can't have any -- unless you want to eat a pizza with SAUSAGE on it!" Spanky laughed.

"But you didn't ask for sausage on the pizza!" Twilight exclaimed. "How will it have sausage on it?"

"Twilight, you might not want to see how that happens unless you have a strong stomach," Foxxy grinned.

"How long do we have to wait?"

"About a half hour," the pig replied. Twilight decided to wait and see what happened. The doorbell rang, and Foxxy took the pizza out of the guy's hands.

"Wait, that's $8.57 -- please pay me first!" the pizza guy protested.

Foxxy opened the pizza box -- Spanky squatted over the pizza and laid a turd on it. He closed the box and returned to the front door.

"There's just one problem," Spanky said. "I don't remember ordering a pizza," he paused dramatically, opening the box, "with SAUSAGE!!"

The pizza delivery guy was mortified to see a turd laying on the pizza. "You suck!" Foxxy laughed at him.

"Is that what you do for fun around here?" Twilight asked almost angrily. "I can't believe you'd do something like that! That's disgusting!"

"Twilight, you need to loosen up a little -- stop taking things so seriously. Maybe we need to get you drunk again!" Foxxy chided.

"Oh, NO! I'm not letting you do THAT again!" she exclaimed and quickly trotted to the kitchen to get some more veggies. "I hope the King is not as crazy as everypony else here," she thought. After finishing her short dinner, she headed to Clara's room to turn in early. She lamented the fact that there was very little reading material, but consoled herself with the prospect of leaving this crazy house in the morning, or at least when Clara's father showed up -- that, or perhaps when he chose to leave, whenever that might be.

Twilight was having trouble sleeping as all the house members were having another liquor party -- the music blared even louder tonight than last night. "That must be because I participated in it last night," she thought. Her thoughts were torn, however -- she didn't really know if things were as bad as she had made them out to be in her mind. "Maybe Foxxy's right -- maybe I do need to loosen up a little," she thought. She tossed and turned in Clara's bed, pulling pillows over her ears trying to shut out the very loud music.

After about an hour or so of her futile attempts at sleep, Twilight trotted to the main room to see that everyone had passed out from having over-consumed the alcohol. She turned off the music, but had to weave carefully between the entangled bodies. Everyone had sort of mingled together in an almost amorphous mass, having removed all their clothing, and engaged in questionable sexual activity. Twilight tried her best to avoid staring too hard at this sight, but couldn't help but chuckle softly at it. "I just hope that didn't happen to ME last night," she thought as she made her way back to Clara's room. She tried to shut out the thoughts of the previous night's activities, at least as best she could, but she couldn't help but remember that passionate kiss Foxxy gave her. Reflecting upon it, it seemed to give her a slight tingle of excitement. She quickly cut that thought short, chastising herself for allowing her base desires to overrule her higher reasoning. She laid back down in Clara's bed and sleep came a bit easier for her now that the music was off.

Twilight awoke to find herself entangled in Clara's embrace, one of affection, not one of lust, as was typical of Foxxy. Twilight nudged Clara's arm off her body and she turned over. Twilight hopped out of the bed and took a shower. She hummed a happy tune as she brushed her mane and tail in order to look her best for the King. She was absolutely certain the King would have some books she could glean the needed information to cross back into her home dimension. She was virtually on pins and needles in anticipation of the King's arrival. She went into the kitchen and checked for something to eat, settling on some more veggies. "I need to learn how to cook for myself," she thought.

She returned to the main room and sat on one of the couches facing the TV. "I wonder if there's anything worth watching -- everything seems so dominated by commercials or people trying to sell useless items," she thought. She turned on the TV and was amazed to see Princess Celestia staring back at her.

"Princess! Can you hear me?" Twilight asked with great excitement.

"Twilight, my faithful student, where are you?" she asked. "I see some furniture, but not much else."

"Princess, I am in some crazy world -- there are humans here, but they act so strangely! There are a couple of other weird creatures who are sentient as well, but one of them is a small orange animal of some sort that tried to attack me with some strange form of magic, even though he doesn't have a horn! I have heard him refer to himself as 'Ling-ling'."

"Are you in danger?"

"Not that I'm truly aware of, Princess -- most of the people in this house are more like Pinkie Pie than anypony else -- they're pretty much harmless, except they have a tendency to obsess about sex. The first night I was here, they got me drunk and a dark-skinned human female kissed me on the mouth with more intensity than I had ever experienced before. There is another female human here who claims to be a Princess herself and her father is coming today. I believe he lives in a castle and has a library, so I am hoping to find a book that can help me find my way back to Equestria."

"I have seen some of the things that have been going on where you are, Twilight, and I am rather displeased by their irresponsible behavior. How exactly did you arrive in that world?"

"I was in the middle of casting a transdimensional travel spell when I was distracted by something crashing into my house."

"Twilight, I will try to find a way to get to where you are. If you succeed in returning to Equestria, I would like a full report of your experiences, though I have witnessed some of them myself."

"What's going on here, Twilight? Who are you talking to? It looks like you're talking to the TV! Stop being so silly, the TV can't talk back to you!" Toot exclaimed, turning it off.

"Hey! I was talking to my mentor! Turn it back on! Please!" Twilight exclaimed in exasperation.

"Your mentor looks like Mr. Ed," Toot stated flatly. "And that show's so old, my grandma was still in high school when they first started showing it!"

Twilight turned the TV back on with her telekinesis, but the Princess was gone. Instead there was an infomercial for the Sham-Wow product. "No! Princess! Please come back!" she turned the TV back off again. Her mood had been crushed by this turn of events, however the King's arrival was something she was still eagerly anticipating.