Letters from annoyed Characters to Fanfiction Authors

Dear Bronies and Pegasisters,

First of all i want say that i am NOT Twilight's pet.I am her assistant and some kind of her brother.I love like a SISTER,any shippings of me and her are just disgusting.

Also Sweetie Belle,Applejack or even Owlicious(Seriously!What the hay is wrong with you?)-they are my FRIENDS,and not anything else.The only who i would approve is Rarity,so please stop shipping me with anypony(or anything) else.

Sincerly,

Spike F. Sparkle