What If: My Second Life

CHAPTER 22: IT BURNS!

Author's Note: HAHAHAHA! FRIDAY, FRIDAY~ GOTTA GET WRITIN' ON FRIIIDAYYY!~ I'm going to be eating some hot peppers during my writing tonight so, if you don't hear from me again...I put out the fire in my mouth... With 12-Gauge Buckshot.

“What was that about me being 'some kind of a friend?'.” I had my arms firmly crossed, staring right into Coal's eyes. I saw his reactions and they were embarrassed and flustered. He was obviously beating himself up on the inside for saying that. I just kept my serious gave on him until he started to talk.

“L-Look man, I didn't mean-”

“Didn't mean what Coal? When I didn't come in you instantly thought that I stopped caring about you? Are you that quick to judge?” Coal's head was down and Scootaloo was whining.

“P-Please stop fighting you two..” She managed to squeak it out while burying her face in Coal's chest, and cried. My expression softened and Coal looked over at me with a scornful look. I looked away for a second and sighed.

“I'm sorry Coal it's just... I honestly don't want you to hate me for what I've done in this world or whatnot...I think I'm the one that's quick to ju-”

“No...” My head shot up and I was looking right at Coal. He was looking forward still rubbing Scoot's back. “I AM quick to judge...Don't apologize...I should be the one doing that. I thought you were off having the time of your life while I was here practically paralyzed. I'm sorry Jace, my anger gets the best of me sometimes..” Coal looked over and his eyes grew wide to see Jace right next to his bed.

Jace had a smile on his face, his hand in a fist and out in front of him. “You know what to do..” Coal mustered all his strength and got his hand up to brofist his friend.

Scootaloo was looking at this and blinking. “Is that how you too high hoof?” Jace chuckled and rubbed her head.

“I guess you could call it that Scoots..” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag. “I got your motel payments for the first three weeks right here..” He set them on Coal's chest who shook his head.

“I can't accep-” Jace put his hand up.

“Coal...You obviously forget who my marefriend is...” He smiled and patted the bag. “This is my gift to my niece.” He turned toward Scootaloo who got up and buzzed her wings to hug Jace around the neck.

“I have an awesome uncle!” Jace and Coal chuckled.

“Yes, that you do sweetheart..”

“Oh, don't try and suck up Coal..”

Coal rolled his eyes and chuckled a little when Jace spotted something on the desk next to Coal's bed. “What's that?”

Jace walked over and picked up two vials and read the note next to them. “This is an extra strength healing potion from Zecora. You were asleep so she decided to leave it with you. Be warned! Once you drink this you're going to start getting very uncomfortable. Ohh... Scoots I think you may want to back away..” Scootaloo jumped down from Coal's chest and backed off a few feet. Jace popped the cork on his bottle and Coal did the same. Jace smelled his and gagged a little. “Ugh...Just down it fast and it should be over.”

The two clinked glasses and downed the potion in one gulp. Jace dropped the bottle on the ground and coughed. “Ugh! That's vile!” He shook his head and sighed, looking down at his wounds. They were healing right before his eyes. “Well that's not so baaaa--- AGH....SPOKE TOO SOON..” He fell on the ground, clutching his chest and Coal was squirming. He soon fell out of his bed and crawled to a wall, leaning against it while he panted and sweated. The pain, was so damn unbearable. It felt like my insides were being burned with a torch! I was starting to think Zecora gave us poison instead of a healing potion, but she did say very uncomfortable...Wait, this isn't uncomfortable...THIS IS FUCKING UNBEARABLE, HOLY SHIT. My breathing is starting to get raspy, not a fucking panic attack now! “Scoots! Get...Get into my pants! Get a metal thing and give it to me! Fast!”

Scootaloo ran towards Jace and dug in his pockets. She found the inhaler and held it out for him with it in her mouth. Jace's shaking hands reached out and grabbed the inhaler as he put the nozzle to his lips and pressed down on the medication bottle. He breathed in heavily and put another puff in. His breathing soon calmed down to the normal rate that it was at before it got really heavy. The stench was starting to reach my nose. Oh lord, it was a smell that should only stay in the catacombs in Dungeons and Dragons! The smell of rotting flesh filled the room and it made me almost puke. I looked over at Coal but he was behind the bed. I don't have goddamn X-Ray vision like Superman so I couldn't see what was going on.

The pain intensified and only got worse and worse. It wasn't at all a pleasant feeling. My vision was blurred and it felt like I needed glasses. My breathing was irregular, but not as bad as when I'm having an asthma attack.

As I was about to pass out when the pain slowly started to go away. My breathing slowly went back to normal and I closed my eyes, thanking God and Celestia that it was all over. I opened my eyes and my vision returned to me. I could see Coal leaning against the wall and looking back at me. I slowly got myself up into a sitting position and chuckled, looking down at my body. I had abs and pecks again! I looked at my arms and holy fuck! I looked like I was back in high school when I did Conditioning and Training! I called it Auschwitz back then because it was a like a fucking prison and boot camp all together.

I looked over at Coal and he was pretty much ripped too! Well, not like me but still, pretty fucking ripped. I stood and caught myself on the bed. “Smells like your mother's cooking Coal..”

“Oh, shut up..This is no time for jokes.”

“Do you know who you're talking too?”

“Jace Romero, the greatest joker I've ever met!”

“Right on the nose bud..”

Scootaloo ran over to Coal and buzzed up to hug coal's waist. “Yay! You're all better now!” Coal chuckled and held Scoots close to him.

“Yup..I'm sorry you had to see that sweetheart...” Scootaloo pulled away from Coal, gagging. “What? Do I smell?” He smelled his pits and almost puked. “Oh Celestia! I smell horrible!”

The door opened and me and Coal were oblivious. “Yes? Who's her-” We turned around to see princess Celestia looking at us. "Oh my..." We were gawking at her. She was as tall as Coal was, but looked a lot bigger. She didn't even have her wings outstretched and she still made us feel small and weak.

I have to say this though...she is beautiful in a powerful, majestic kind of way. She stepped in the room and closed the door behind her.

"I-I'm Coal and t-this is Jace! W-who are you miss~?”

"I'm princess Celestia. Ruler of Equestria, but you may just call me Celestia. It is very nice to meet you Coal and Jace!”

"Oh my f-forgive us!" Coal got on his knees and put his forehead on the floor, as well as his hands out in front of him. I don't know why he felt the need to prostrate himself like that. Maybe because her and Luna have the power to send us back! FUCK. No thanks! I got on my knees and bowed before her as well, next to Coal.

She chuckled a little at our display. "There is no need for that Coal and Jace, but thank you for showing me respect. You may be in my kingdom, but I am not your ruler as of yet."

"Oh but you are princess Celestia! We don't want to return to our world; which means we'll be staying here...if that is alright with you anyway. If it is; that would make you our princess too! Being from different worlds doesn't matter to us. You lead such wonderful ponies; you have nothing if not my respect!"

“Mine too!” I didn't want to offend her in any way possible!

"Thank you Coal and Jace, but please do rise. I would like to get a proper look at you two." We did as we were asked, but Coal was in nothing but his boxers and I felt he was a bit ashamed. "I can't say I have in all my years seen creatures like you Coal and Jace. You walk on two legs, and you don't seem to have any natural defenses. Are humans a venomous kind of creature?"

"What? N-no, why would you.....Oh!...Oh! You're wondering how something that basically looks harmless could get along in a world that you have heard to be very unpleasant, or something like that, right?" Coal's theory was good.

"That is exactly what I was wondering. I'm sorry if that comes across as a little rude of me."

"No no, not at all princess Celestia..."

"Just Celestia...please"

"Y-yes pri...Celestia" She gave him a soft smile. Coal was very happy to not be screwing this up. "Well Celestia, it is true that our species doesn't exactly have any natural weapons. What we do have however; I think is a lot more powerful."

"What would that be?"

"We have diversity and ingenuity. We make tools to perform the tasks we need doing." Coal lifted up his hand to demonstrate his points. "With our fingers and thumb, we can grip things easily. We don't have magic like ponies do, but my people have made tools that can do most things. Unfortunately, that also includes weapons of war." SHOULDN'T HAVE FUCKING SAID THAT COAL.

"Weapons of war? Spike and Twilight have told me many things about you, but they didn't tell me that you come from a world with war."

"W-well...that is because I didn't tell them that. I myself lived in what could be called a peaceful area, but the truth is that my whole planet hates each other. My people have made weapons and tools to kill other people over anything and everything since the start of my species. I understand if you have mixed feelings about me because of that, but please trust me when I say that I don't mean harm to any pony!" Just then he remembered about Earl Grey...Coal knew he had to tell her that. If she is going to trust us; Coal had to be completely honest. There is no fooling a creature that old! "Well...that isn't true...you see I...I hurt a pony yesterday...on purpose; with good reason of course! I..."

Celestia raised her hoof to silence Coal. He happily, but with much fear; obliged. "Twilight told me of the incident with the potential rapist. I do not scorn you for doing what you did. In fact, I wanted to thank you for protecting my ponies."

"R-really?"

"Yes Coal, really. I can't say I'm happy to hear about your world like this though, but I understand why you don't want to return. I have no problems with you staying here Coal. I believe you can do great things, and I hope to be hearing about them soon."

"Th-thank you so much Celestia! I can't express how happy that makes me!" She stepped back a little at Coal's outburst. She put on a nervous expression and started looking around. “Celestia?”

"Oh my! Sorry Coal, it's just...Spike and Twilight told me what you do when you're very happy."

"Oh....OH! OH!" Coal fell on the floor laughing his ass off. I couldn't believe this. Coal made the oldest most powerful pony in all of Equestria nervous because she thought he was going to hug her! I wish I could do that. "That is too funny Celestia! Don't worry though, I know better than to do that to royalty."

She giggled at me a little bit. "I don't mind too much Coal. Come over here, I think you deserve one."

We went immediately silent. Coal wasn't about to turn her down though. He got up and gave her a very respectful and pleasant hug. Celestia being a lot bigger than other ponies made her a lot more fun to hug. There is just more of her! She returned the gesture by putting one hoof around him. They held that for a moment before breaking contact.

“Hey what about me?” I asked, putting on a fake frowny face. Celestia laughed and came over to give me a hug. Oh my Lord that mane! It's like, flowing in my face and it smells so nice. It smelled like spring flowers and sweet honey. The smell was absolutely intoxicating!

"Thank you so much for coming to visit us Celestia! It was such a pleasure to meet you!"

“Yeah, it's not everyday you get to hug a powerful being.”

"The feeling is mutual you two. Do try and take better care of yourselves though. I don't like hearing about my subjects being harmed." She flashed us a warm smile before her horn glowed and she disappeared in a blinding light.

Me and Coal looked at each other with smiled. “Dude, she called us one of her subjects! BROHOOF!” The two brohoofed, and it was glorious.

Shortly after her departure the nurse came in with our release forms. We filled them out the best we could and we were dismissed. Coal's clothes were brought to him and upon him getting dressed, we left.

The cool crisp air was the first thing to greet us. It felt wonderful, but we were still covered in dried sweat (how did the princess not mind this!?). Coal made his way back to the farm. He was going to try and catch up on some chores, take a shower, and then go to the inn to tuck in Scootaloo. I went off my separate way and decided to go snuggle up with my lover.

I walked silently for a good way home and then started to think of future concerts and such. Meh, probably going to have to lay off those for a few though. I know I'm going to get an earful from Vi and probably have to not do anything but love on her for the next few days.

Ugh, I still smell like shit! I hope Vinyl doesn't get too huggy on me. Heh, if she does she'll have to take a shower! Ohh...Idea in my head~! Heheheh, maybe I'll get lucky tonight! Whoo! Meh, probably not. Probably going to get a hoof to the face and maybe a few kisses or so.

Whoa, How long was I in my thoughts?! I'm here already?! Fan-tastic!

I walked up to the front door and opened it, looking around. The lights were off in the main foyer and there was a light from the living room. “Honey?” I yelled and looked around, hearing some hoof steps and then a door closing. “Uhm..Kay..” I walked in and took off my shoes, walking up the stairs to our bedroom and grabbing a new set of clothes. I got into our personal bathroom and took a nice long shower. I finally smell nice!

I grabbed the silk robe that Rarity made for me and walked out of the room, seeing a trail of rose petals litter the floor down the stairs. “Ohhh, yes~” This, is going to be fun.

Author's Note: Alright, I think it's time to treat you guys to some of my clop. It's not as classy as Coal's. This is going to be some raunchy stuff. You've been warned! Also, FUCK THESE PEPPERS ARE BURNING MY SOUL FUUUUUU.