Tales of the Ponyville Cartel

by The Gold Sphere

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Slice of Life
Length: 2224

a drug dealing pony needs to go to Ponyville to get big and start his own empire

Just to give a preview of this series, its about a drug dealing pony from the ghetto of Canterlot going to Ponyville to use its inhabitants (the mane 6) to produce, manufacture, distribute, and sell manejuana (marijuana obviously), and chaos dust (crystal meth). ther will be drama, there will be action, there will be romance(no clop), and there will be violence.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-01-19 21:59:54 UTC

Episode 1- "The Poor stay Poor, The Rich get Richer"

Episode 1

   “ The Poor stay Poor, The Rich get Richer”

The young colt had just woken up. He was cold. He was hungry. He was yearning for at least a bit of comfort under his blanket. It didn’t make anything easier by cuddling up and shivering on a mattress which was tattered, stained, and insect infested. But this has become a daily thing since birth, so the colt could live with it. But not without a dark spot within his heart and a vile soul.

“Oh, honey, you’re awake. Its about time!” said a familiar voice behind him,” I need you to stay home and watch the shack while I’m away. I need to go get some food for the day... and hopefully tomorrow.” the familiar voice had a sad tone to it on that last part. She had worked for her sons well being ever since he was born. She had raised him alone, not because the father went away, but because he got killed just like every pony that lived in the slums of Canterlot. “ So what do you do if you see strangers try to come in?” she said producing a smile hoping he would give her an answer she would be proud of.

“ Buck the crud out of ‘em, and poopoo on ‘em!” he said chuckling to himself. His mother however did not find that amusing at all, and shot a disgusted look to her son to show it.

“ I said never to use that language! Stop talking like that or I’ll make sure you wont be able to hang out with those little hoodlums you call friends!” now she started to tear up. “Oh Celestia, what am I going to do with you? “ she shook her head, wiped her tears, finished her cold coffee, and started to trot towards the door.

“You know what,” chimed the colt,” BUCK Celestia! She’s the reason we live in this dump. Shes just a big mother bucking mule!!” he said practically screaming at his own mother.

The mothers heart was instantly broken. She winced at the end of his sentence and started trembling. She slowly turned 180 degrees to look back at her son. He had a white coat, well mostly brown and grey because of all the dirt and grime that he never washed out, he had a blonde mane that was extremely greasy and clumped full of dirt and such. He had big yellow eyes. He looked exactly like his father. She couldn’t stand the sight of him anymore. She trotted up to him and hoof slapped him on his cheek so hard he fell to the floor crying.

“Princess Celestia is our Princess! She has done so much for Equestria! She has done so much for US! You wont understand it now but SHE has HELPED US in so MANY ways. I do not ever want to you to DISRESPECT her EVER...AGAIN!!!!” the mother screamed putting extra emphasis at certain words all while standing over her son repeatingly slapping his face side to side, over, and over, and over until she realized what she was doing to him. She looked back down at the mini version of her husband to see his cheeks red and sore, his eyes red with tears, and his nose red with blood. What did I just do? She couldn’t even find the courage to look her own beaten son in the eye and say sorry. She hated her self so much at that very moment. She got off of him wailing and galloped to the knives in the left corner of their living room/ kitchen/ dining room/ game room, and galloped to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. From where the colt was sitting all he could hear was her toning down her crying. It soon became just a little whimper. He wondered why she had brought the knife in there.

Speaking of the devil, as soon as he thought that a bloodcurdling scream emitted from those closed doors. They stopped for a few seconds only to start again, and again, and again. The little white colt with no cutie mark yet, stopped crying, wiped the blood running down his nose with his foreleg, shook his head a few times to get all the dust from the floor off his mane, even though it was extremely dirty already, and with a mad look on his face he walked out the front door without looking back at the bathroom which was still producing long, agonizing screams.

Many years later...

“ Bro, u have the stuff?” said a chubby, black earth pony inside a donut shop. It was morning time, when the shop was most busy. A time when nopony would think that anything suspicious were to happen. He was sitting at a small table right across a lean muscled, white colt with a very short buzz cut mane.

“ Hay yeah dude, buckin imported from the Everfree forest. This crud will mess you up for days!” Replied the white earth pony with a deviant, little smile planted on his face. “ How much u sold that last batch bruh?”

“ In total, I gots about 1000 bits, but I had to give half of dat to my providers, and a 1⁄4 to my filly mama. So I end ups with 250! But datz bizness. Waboutu?” The white colt could only guess that his last sentence was “what about you,” so he decided to tell the truth to his long lasting friend.

“ Well...” the white colt hesitated,” I got robbed basically. See, I have dis big time unicorn I sell too, always buys me out of stock so he can share with his friends and stuff. Then one day some prissy white unicorn comes here and becomes all popular and crud, right. So then he finds out she’s from some small town and made a simple dress. This caused him to want to have simpler product, so then all the powder I made for him had to be thrown into the sewer, so that was about 850 bits down the drain!” the white pony said in a low but infuriated voice.

“What!” replied the black one,” we coulda had that to us selves, or you coulda sold it pure. What wrong with ya bro!!!?” he gave his friend a long stare with a questioning look on his face. The white pony started shaking with anger and growing red in the face.

“BECAUSE I CANT!!” he yelled in a whisper, a very loud whisper,” I’m not gonna get high off my own product and start being a dumbflank of a sales pony like you!” still whisper shouting and pointing his hoof right at the black pony, now with a frightened expression,” And why in the buck would I want to sell my own special recipe to other unicorns who just gonna experiment on the stuff to figure out how I make it and then they’ll get all da bits! Now do you understand buck face!” He finally calmed down and made himself comfy in his chair with closed eyes, and a long sigh. “ yo, sorry dude...”

“ If you’re going to make a scene, get out of here you two no for good...” piped in the clerk at the cash register, obviously angry at how much disruption the 2 had made only a few seconds ago.

“Ya Ya. We was just on ah ways out.” said the dark counterpart and stood up with pulling his friend with him to the front door. Eyes from the entire shop were staring at them. Not with anger for disturbing the peace, but with curiosity and disgust on how 2 earth ponies were up here in the nice part of Canterlot. Their kind was supposed to be in the slums, only coming out to do their jobs, which consisted of maintenance, cleaning, construction, and any other low paying jobs that didn’t require magic.

They were both trotting down the sidewalk to somewhere private so they can continue their business transaction. “I know I said dis already but...” said the white pony in an apologetic tone before being cut off.

“ No worries brah. I get yous unda alota stress right now. But I tell you dis, I am a darn goods sales pony, and I knows exactly watch you need to dos.” the black pony said very calmly,” You needs to be doin what dem brothers did, uhhhmmm... oh yeah! Coke and Kane did this here tactic to get a bucksload of money. See, dey first make a bigs name in this here city. Errypony loved deyre stuff and made dem rich! They became notrios(notorious) and crud, now almost all Equestria know dem. Soon dough, dey bes gettin old to errypony in this here city, so den dey move to them small towns and sell deir stuff to ponies who heard of da stuff, but was never ables to get a hold of it. Now dem brothas traveling da whole land making moh bank in one week den you does in 2 years bro. So what yous need to do is go down to dat Podunk little town not too far from heres, and start yo empire. I aint gone to dat stage yet so I’ll still bes  here hustlin like you.” This was probably the smartest thing the white pony has ever heard coming from this fool. He knew that his friend was right too. He was going to do it.

“Yo, Cornbread. Dat was da smartest thing I error heard you say. Thanks bro,” the white pony said to Cornbread. “ De thing is though, dat I don’t have no money to do dat. Hahaha,” he gave a weak laugh to a trying to be nice smile.

“ Give here da stuff.” said cornbread with an expressionless look. The colt gave him a questioning glance but reached into his saddlebag to discreetly take out a Ziploc bag full of little green leaves, they looked so beautiful to the colt. Oh how much he wanted to inhale their mesmerizing smoke so bad. But he simply gave it over to Cornbread only to receive a small coin purse with about 25 bits inside it. “ Yo, I hope you know dis aint enough for a trip like dat.” he said with an uneasy smile while Cornbread still gave an expressionless look. The colt was puzzled now, he didn’t know what his friend was thinking when ever he did this. Last time he did this he shanked somepony. Cornbread reached back into his saddlebag to pull out another coin purse. Slightly bigger. Much heavier.

“250 bits!...Dat should bes enough to get choo out of dis dump.” Said Cornbread now with a wide smile across his  face.

“No dude! What the buck you think you doin? I cant take dis!” said the colt trying to hoof it back to him.

“No worries bro. I gots a ton of bits back at my place. Sides, yo need dis more den me. But don’t go gallopin errywhere telling errypony I give donations! I just did so I can bes numba one up in dis area!” Cornbread gave that last statement a lot of sarcasm along with a wink.

“I I...I I I cant thank you enough. I’ll pay ya back bro once I become fat with bits! Dude, you’re da best!” he said while putting his front leg across Cornbreads shoulder and patting his back. Cornbread lifted his front leg to put around the colts shoulder.

“ No prob, No prob at all.” he said looking into the clear, sunny sky. “ Just get yo flank to dat deir Ponyville and make dem happy. Just remember to writes me when you gots da time.”

“Of course dude, why wouldn’t I? You know we been bros since we was blank flanks!” the colt said looking back at memories of good times when they were just foals. He cocked his head back to look at their flanks(no homo) to see a piece of cornbread with some crumbs falling off, right next to the green leaf of manejuana, the plant that made his life so much better. Whether he was sad and needed a stress reliever, or was at a party and wanted to have tons of fun, that special little plant has always been there for him, especially when his mother wasn’t.

“So, how does dis sound,” Cornbread had broke the silence,” Down on his luck, working hard to make a living, sleeping in his friends home, going back to his own home just to cook his special ingredient which can knock any pony off their hooves...” the colt was now extremely surprised at Cornbread since he was so well spoken.” ...The roughest, toughest, most relentless dealer, and cooker, in all of Equestria, now going to a the small town of Ponyville to spread his fame! He is Flamer!”

Flamer looked at Cornbread with a big smile and realized not only was he his best friend, but his only true friend. He never trusted any pony except Cornbread, and if Cornbread wanted him to go to Ponyville, then he was going to Ponyville!

Tune in next week for episode 2