The Rocking Horse

“We are nothing but children, forced to play the games of wicked men and manipulated into repeating the vicious cycle” – Anonymous

There are tales of Comedy.

Love.

Tragedy.

There are tales of wanderers and heroes saving worlds and cities we have no knowledge of.

There are tales of the fallen, trying to crawl their way back to the top after being beaten to the ground, fighting against all odds the entire way.

Those are only tales though, meant to visualize the thoughts of those who fabricated them and are willing to tell them.

What of the true tales? The tales that consist of the true aspects of life – Pain, Loss, Gain, Envy, Betrayal and Love?

Are they simply casted into the darkness of one’s mind, only to be forgotten?

No.

For you see, these personal accounts of challenges are not called tales or stories. They are not some fabricated series of events, where the plot runs consistently in an orderly fashion.

No, these accounts are treacherous, for the protagonist is never prepared for the challenges that abruptly appear. They have no knowledge of their fate. Nor do they possess any knowledge of their destiny.

So, when I tell this account, I do not start with ‘Once upon a time’ and I do not dare start with ‘In a land far, far away’.

I will merely begin the journey as any other one starts…

***

As the lone figure trudged through the dreaded streets of Celestia knows where, he could do nothing but sob. His mind has been racing day and night, never allowing him the opportunity to rest.

So, with fatigue eating his way into his sanity, the only cure he saw fitting was a walk in the outskirts of the city he never knew. Strangely, he has lived here all his life, and yet he never knew the true name of the city. He has only referred to it as the name of a place a friend told him long ago.

Purgatory.

A fitting name for this place, he thought to himself, glancing around the gloomy streets, which showed nothing but dim lights, sinful ponies, and dreadful shops. The sight would have made him cringe - had he not been searching for one of these shops.

A hypocrite is what he called himself as rain began to fall heavily on the cloak that shielded him from the tears of the clouds. Rain was common here, and if the sun ever shown itself it was only shielded by the toxic fumes of industry.

Passing through ponies that lured mares into their forelegs, he could do nothing but sigh. He hadn’t a chance with a mare, for he was never eager to find lust, which was the only thing a mare ever wanted in this city. He was never fond of the mares that paraded themselves around stallions, basking in the smell of sweat and sex. He found it revolting. He was only eager to find one thing in this hellhole: Love.

The stallion shook his head as memories began to flood in his mind. The memories of a mare he used to care for and cherish, much as in the same way she did- her warm inviting smile bringing a gleam of hope to his soul when he returned each day.  But fate decided to intrude with blood ridden dirty hooves, and took her away from him.

Things have never been the same for him since then. He never had much before, living in the confinements of an abandoned home that he altered to become manageable, making minimal wages that was barely enough to survive. With her though, those worries disappeared.

So, when Death came for her, he took more than his love. He took his will to live.

The stallion was a fighter though, willing to fight life to the very end, so he pushed on, trying to fend off the evil that tried to claim his heart. Darkness was in him though, and he could not deny that.

Hypocrite, he said to himself once again, scanning the shops with gloomy, light brown eyes. Finally, as all seemed to be lost, he made his way to a small shop, which looked worn down, but not closed. He looked up at the shop, reading the name with a lack of enthusiasm:

Corner Shop

And on the bottom it read:

Always willing to fit your needs…

The stallion took a deep sigh, finding the promise to be completely false. It would not be able to fill the void in his heart.

‘It would have to do though’ he told himself, shaking his head to rid of the drips of water that made his way to the top of his head. Then with a heavy cough, he made his way into the shop, without a second glance around his surroundings.

As he opened the door to the shop, a loud cheap bell rung through his ear. His ear flicked in the direction of the noise, but he quickly dismissed the noise, finding it of no importance. He then began to look around the forbidden shop, trying to see through the thickness of the darkness that shrouded the entire store.

“Hello?” the stallion said, wondering if the shop was closed. Suddenly, a small red light lit up in the center of the shop, temporarily scaring the stallion who was caught off guard.

The stallion, regaining his senses, tried to look in the direction of the light but his concentration was cut short as his eyes began to scan the items surrounding him.

Trinkets of all sorts stood on shelves and hanged on ceilings. Potions, cages, miscellaneous trinkets and inappropriate items not worth noting caught the attention of his eyes as he scanned the aisles up and down, letting his thoughts slowly fade away as he lifted his hoof to rummage through items he had no use for.

“Can I help you sir?” a voice greeted, causing the stallion’s concentration to break free from all the store items and pull his hoof away from a pair of clamps. As the stallion stared in the direction of the voice, his eyes went wide in shock.

A tall, well groomed stallion sat in the center of the room, wearing a business suit of some sort. His smile was cold, despite his effort to make it charismatic. His eyes were shielded behind a pair of glasses, which the smaller stallion found to be very unnecessary in a dark place such as this. In fact, he found it very uncomfortable that such a stallion was secluded in the dark, despite the shop being open.

‘Then again, a lot of things seem off about a stallion dressed like that in a place like this’ the stallion noted to himself.

Those thoughts quickly died in his mind though, for the stallion was only thinking about what he came into the shop for.

“Uhh, hey” the stallion said feebly, trying his best to look at the shop merchant, but he couldn’t help but gain this weird feeling from the tall stallion.

“Hello” the shop merchant returned, nodding his head. The stallion shook his head nervously in response, and remained silent for a short while.

For a second, he felt like he forgot what he came for. That wasn’t the case though for he has been pondering on this decision for countless days and nights, so it was almost impossible for the item to leave his mind.

“Is there anything I could help you with?” the merchant asked, trying to play off the helpful part. The stallion suddenly snapped from his thoughts, and shook his head nervously.

“Oh…yes” he replied shaking his head nervously.

“I’m…looking for…something…that can make me feel…” the stallion continued, trying to find a way to ask for what he truly wanted.

“….better?” he finished, almost as if the merchant could help specify for him. The merchant only nodded his head though, and pointed his hoof to the left side of the stallion.

When the stallion turned in the direction of the hoof though, he turned back nervously and quickly shook his head.

“No, no, no” he protested shaking his head. “Not that better”

The merchant put on a puzzled expression on his face, wondering if there was another way to express ‘better’.

The stallion took one long deep sigh, realizing the only way to explain what he needed was to say it bluntly.

“I’m looking…for…something to…love” he sighed, almost as if guilty of his feelings.

“Love?” the merchant said puzzled, looking around at all his items. “I’m sorry but I think you may have the wrong shop. You could try the strip bar down the street if you’d like…”

“No, it’s alright” the stallion sighed, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. He knew it was ridiculous to ask for such a thing in a shop. The stallion was pondering on the decision to leave, but he couldn’t find the urge to do so.

“Do you have…pets at least?” the stallion begged, almost on the verge of desperation. The merchant sighed and shook his head.

“You know the rules. City doesn’t approve of animals because they don’t want any diseases running around”.

The stallion hung his head, for he already knew that. He has seen incidents where pets have been ripped from the grasp of ponies that had nothing else to cherish for themselves, not even a place to call home.

He knew it was a bad idea to come into the store, yet he fought against himself, always remaining optimistic. Or desperate...

‘You stupid, stubborn idiot!’ he scolded himself, throwing his hoof over his face. He felt like he was on the verge of tears, letting this incident bring down the barrier shielding his emotions, but he held it at bay in fear of embarrassing himself.

The merchant watched only in silence, wondering what he could do for the hurt customer before him. He found it odd how somepony could ask for an item to love. If such a thing was possible.

With his hoof on his chin, he began to rummage through all the items within his stock, wondering if anything may provide this stallion what he wanted. The stallion was not willing to wait though, for he began to part from the store.

“Thank you very much” the stallion sighed, making his way to the exit of the door, but just as he took his first set of stops, he was immediately halted by the merchant’s shout.

“Hold on!”

The stallion froze, slowly turning around to the merchant. Did he possibly have what he was looking for?

The merchant, with a wide smile on his face, threw his hoof outwards, signaling the stallion to stay put. Then, without another word, he quickly made his way past countless items to the front of the store, besides the stallion.

He watched in confusion as the merchant fiddled through items, trying to make his way to a set of items that stood in the display window of the store. After countless seconds of swearing and scooting items to the side, the merchant finally retrieved the item of his interest.

The stallion watched in confusion as the merchant stood on his hind legs, giving him a large menacing look, as he carried in his forelegs a large white item, which looked small compared to his massive frame.

The stallion did not know what the large stallion pulled out until finally the merchant positioned the item directly in front of him, causing the stallion’s mind to freeze.

He was lost in thought, for the item he was looking at was a mare. She had a white milky coat, with a wavy flowing mane consisting of varying blue highlights and a tail with the same aspects. A horn was directly on her forehead along with a flirtatious smile plastered on her face, and her eyes seemed to be looking off into nothingness with a romantic aspect. Her cutie mark consisted of a black musical note, leaving the stallion to ponder why the doll would possess such a thing. She was shorter than the stallion, reaching up to the height of his mouth. The most intriguing aspect about the doll though, was how life like she looked.

“Well, here it is” the merchant informed, rubbing his hoof on the mare’s coat. “She’s a hand crafted doll, imported from Equestria”

The stallion could not hear what the merchant was saying though. He was entranced in the gaze of the doll, letting those glassy, red, inviting irises look back into his cold, lonely, dim brown eyes.

“Is…she real?” the stallion asked, still unsure if unicorn before him was in fact a doll. The merchant let out a light laugh.

“No, she isn’t real. But I thought the same thing the first time it came in. I swear they did quite a good job.”

The stallion continued to examine the frame of the statue, eyeing it up and down with mixed emotions. He knew it was nothing more than a doll though, so he couldn’t get ahead of himself. He began to examine the mare’s posture, seeing that one of her forelegs was bent inwards, as if she were holding it back in a playful manner.

“So what do you think?” the merchant asked the stallion who was still mesmerized by the doll. He was giving it some thought, deciding if it would be a great move to spend his bits on an inanimate object such as this.

The look in the doll’s eyes though. That was what kept the stallion interested. He could relate to that look, for it was a look he used to be given before his world came crumbling down before him. A look that he could stare at forever…

The stallion placed a hoof on his chin, trying to think if he was making a right call or not. Not only on the decision to buy this eloquent figure, but to heal the loss of his one and only with a doll. It has been so long though, and he began to grow hollow feeding off of memories that were slowly beginning to fade away from his mind.

“…How much?” the stallion sighed, turning his attention back to the merchant. The stallion thought that maybe, this would be enough to keep those memories fresh in his mind, allowing him the will to keep trudging through the realm of reality. The merchant’s grin grew wider, a sight that worried the stallion.

“Ten bits” the merchant smiled as he patted his suit with his hoof. The stallion’s eyes opened wide, finding the price to be beyond extraordinary.

“Ten bits?” the stallion repeated, stunned from the price tag. The merchant did not utter a word, but instead nodded his head in assurance.

The stallion could not believe the price tag, for he was expecting a triple digits, at the least. ‘But at ten bits, there had to be some catch…’

“If you’re wondering why so low of a price” the merchant remarked, reading the stallion’s thoughts, “I need to make space for a new set of these things”

‘More?’ the stallion thought to himself, wondering who were crafting these high quality dolls. That was not of his concern though. Once he turned back to the white coated mare, he could do nothing but let a smile form on his face.

It has been so long since a smile has formed on his face. It was apparent in the way his face quivered when the sides of his muzzle began to stretch. And although he knew it was but a doll, he felt those majestic eyes would be enough to keep him going.

“I’ll take it” the stallion said, a small hint of enthusiasm appearing in his face. The merchant nodded his head and pointed his hoof in the direction of the cashier. The stallion, taking one last look at the doll, followed after the merchant, ready to make his transaction.

As the stallion placed his bits onto the counter of the shop, the merchant pulled out a small clipboard, with a sheet attached to it. The stallion looked at the clipboard in confusion, but the merchant quickly explained.

“I’ll have the doll shipped to your house. It’s raining pretty hard out there, and the last thing I’d like to see is you coming back for a refund.”

The stallion, looking at the sheet, grew a bit nervous for he knew he would have to place his address and information down. The stallion was very embarrassed of where he lived, and he grew hesitant on purchasing the item. After looking back at the white mare behind though, he took one long sigh and mustered enough courage to put down the information on the sheet. Although he was eager to take the doll home, he knew the merchant had some truth to his word.

The merchant took back the paper clip once the stallion finished putting down his information and placed the bits into the cash register which rested on the left side.

“It was a pleasure doing business with you” the merchant remarked, reaching his hoof outward to the stallion across from him who looked at his hand as if it was contagious.

“Don’t worry, I don’t bite” the merchant assured, seeing the stallion’s lack of trust. The stallion, after a moment’s hesitation, finally reached his hoof out in return and shook it.

With that, the stallion let out a weak smile and made his way back to the entrance of the shop. As he pressed his hoof onto the door, he looked back at the doll one last time, trying to remember that gaze for as long as he could.

Eventually he knew he had to leave, for the merchant quickly assured the stallion’s product would be safe.

“I’ll keep an eye on it, don’t worry” the merchant informed, giving the stallion a wink. The charismatic trait gave the stallion shivers, but he couldn’t explain why. He did not wish to ponder on the feeling though, for he already had enough dark thoughts shrouding his mind.

Without uttering a word, he flicked the hood over his head once again, making his way back to the outside world, which was littered with the sound of false laughter, falling rain, and violent shouts. He began to glance around for a short while, eyeing all the ponies around him who pretended to have a good time when deep down they were hurting. He knew the feeling all too well.

Despite such thoughts though, the stallion managed to keep the memory of those eyes in his mind. The gaze gave him a happy, warm feeling, unlike that of other mares that merely ran rampant with ‘hungry eyes’.

Still, the stallion pushed through the streets once again, letting the rain pour onto his sheet which was now beyond soaked. He did not mind though, for despite the cold winds blowing with the rain, that warm feeling burned inside his gut, giving him enough strength to crawl back into the den he called his home.

***

Hours passed since the appearance of the stallion that searched for the jewel called love. The merchant, now moving the items behind the display window, trudged through items tirelessly, trying to put everything aside as he attempted to tidy up his shop. As he grabbed a box full of bottles and attempted to move them next to the entrance of his shop, he felt his hind leg knock against something, followed by the noise of a light thud.

The merchant, placing the items where he wished, looked in the direction of the noise only to find the doll toppled over to the side, her pose now slightly shifted from the fall.

The merchant let out a sigh as he moved towards the doll, grabbing a hold of it and trying to stand it upright but due to the fall, her pose was slightly different, so she merely toppled over with each attempt.

“Fuck me” the merchant grunted as he began to bend the dolls legs back into its previous position, giving her that same playful pose. He placed his hoof under her chin and turned it lightly to the side, allowing the luminous set of irises to look in the position they were previously locked in.

Once he finally grew satisfied with the dolls position, he lifted her up in his fore legs and began to walk over to the counter on his hind legs. Placing her on the counter, he waited to see if the doll would topple over, but when it did not, he gave a sigh of relief and returned to his cleaning duties.

Minutes flew by as the merchant continued to clean and the rain finally grew to a halt. Finally, as the merchant took a second to admire his work, he realized it was finally time to close up shop.

Returning back to the counter, he scooted the doll to the side to gain a set of keys in his mouth, not acknowledging the doll in any way. Once he achieved that task, he turned off the light in the middle of the shop, rendering the entire shop to become illuminated by the lamplights of the streets and the dim glow of the moon.

The merchant looked back to see if everything was in shape, but stopped once he looked at the doll perched on the counter. The merchant couldn’t help but shake his head at the remembrance of the stallion that grew eager over such a simple thing. He couldn’t believe that he came into his shop looking for love.

‘Who would want such a thing anyways’ the merchant snorted, shaking his head in disapproval of the thought. For you see, the merchant was no ordinary colt. He never admired the ideas of great morals or tended to the needs of others. All his life he only knew of loss, and because of that, he grew envious of the world, despising all living creatures and never allowing any creature to gain access to his sick thoughts. He was a pony who fed off of sin, and preyed on the weak and feeble. He was one of the many who gave into the wicked ways of those who’ve hurt him.

The merchant then chuckled to himself coldly at the thought of what he told the stallion.

‘The idiot thought it was hand crafted’ he mused, letting a wicked smile grow across his muzzle. ‘Well, at least I was honest on mentioning it was imported from Equestria’.

After looking back at the doll for one last time, he decided to amuse himself.

“So long Vinyl Scratch” the merchant waved at the unmoving figure, letting a dark chuckle escape his throat. “It was fun while it lasted, but I think it’s about time I move on”

And with that, the merchant left the shop, locking the door on his way out and laughing darkly as he flashed charismatic winks in the direction of stray mares wandering the streets for victims.

In the shop, the doll remained unmoving, staring straight ahead at the front entrance. Her gaze remained still, for she was a doll and she could do nothing else but remain a common plaything for all those who found her of interest.

But that would not be the way to describe this one specifically. She was no doll. She was just another victim, fooled into the hands of the devil who took her life, forging her into one of his sick devices.

And it would seem fate was not done with her.

As time progressed, her lifeless stare shifted into a set of blinks.

First once, then twice.

Her flirtatious smile soon began to diminish, forming into a defeated frown. She began to stir her legs, fighting the numbness eating its way into her muscles. If she had any that is.

Her eyes turned from a warm, greeting gaze to a pair of cold, sad, hollow eyes. She began to shake her head, trying to loosen her neck from the stiffness that came with her pose.

The mare remained still, glancing around the shop she grew all too familiar with over the years. Yes, years. For years this poor soul has been entrapped in this prison, forced to spend every day with the stallion who manipulated her to giving him her life.

She could only remember it all too well. She could remember the idea of traveling to a different country, trying to keep it a secret, in hopes of change. She could remember going to a bar after a great gig, and meeting a charming stallion who promised her the world. She could remember the lies that began to grow apparent, the abuse that began to follow. She could recall the day of her death - water filling her lungs, her life flashing before her eyes as she tried to claw her way out of destiny’s grasp. The lack of respect for her body after her physical death, leaving her subconscious to feel the alterations happening to her body…

Vinyl Scratch was caged and she could do nothing but accept her fate. She was broken, her once happy going personality buried with her innards in some unknown ditch. She was hollow – physically and emotionally. All that remained was her mind, memories and emotions.

The day she awakened from her short slumber she could not believe it. She was scared, worried, for she was still in the grasp of the devil. That did not stop her from fighting. The tall stallion never expected such a thing, but it never stopped him from amusing himself. He always admired a fighter, so when she attempted to free herself from his grasp, he would merely become satisfied. He always won in the end, leaving Vinyl’s lifeless shell to be posed and used without hesitation. She always came back though, for she was denied access from the afterlife. So she continued to fight, trying to achieve the goal of freedom. In the end though, she would only wish for the essence of death.

Soon, she grew tired of fighting, realizing she would never win. The first time she came into the shop, she trashed it. That resulted in another toll to the death marker and a spell from a unicorn that prevented anyone from breaking in and out of the shop. Vinyl Scratch had finally grown weary. Eventually, she gave up, accepting her cage and developing the ability to fixate herself as a doll. Since then, the merchant has left her be, believing he finally offed her for good.

Vinyl hung her head in the darkness, trying to hold back tears that have built up over the course of the day but she couldn’t. She always did this in the dead of night, allowing the darkness to shield her from everything.

She sobbed, clasping her hooves over her face as tears streamed down her cheek. Despite the mare’s state, her body enacted normally. It could breathe, yet it wasn’t necessary. She could eat, but it was not necessary. She could cry, but…it’s the least the mare deserved for such a fate.

Thoughts of her old friends and lifestyle began to race through her mind as it has done so many countless nights. She missed her old life, her friends and now, considering the time that has flown by, she always wondered why she was never found.

Did they forget about me? Do they miss me? Are they even searching for me?

She let these questions burn in her mind, letting them fuel her sobs in the process. It was a vicious cycle that occurred every night, rendering Vinyl’s soul to be bound down to the ground.

One other question burned in her mind as well, a question she never had until that today.

‘What is going to happen to me?’ she asked herself, letting tears stream down her face. She made no attempt to hide them anymore. ‘What is that stallion going to do to me?’

“Great” Vinyl sobbed, shaking her head. “I’m going to be someone’s damn toy now!”

Her sobs soon began to intensify, realizing this may have been her only known purpose in life. To satisfy others while she suffered…

Something in the stallion’s eyes said otherwise though she thought to herself momentarily. She gave the idea some thought but she quickly shrugged it off.

‘No he’s just like the rest’ she told herself, shaking her head. Vinyl has grown to hate all stallions since her demise, marking them all as hostiles out to get her. She believed they were all sick, twisted, vile…

Then a thought appeared in her head, a thought that made her go wide eyed.

‘I’m going to leave’ she thought to herself, feeling a strange feeling form in her gut as she began to realize the scenario. ‘I’m leaving!’

Vinyl’s hopes, for the first time in years, soon began to lift. Her face began to twitch at the realization she was finally leaving her wretched cage. For the first time in years, she finally put on a real smile.

It was surely a sign of her believing things may get better.

‘I’ll leave as fast as I can once he falls asleep and then I’ll run away and call someone!’ she began to squeal in her head, tears of joy beginning to stream down her face. After countless years of feeling forsaken by Celestia, she finally felt an ounce of hope creep back into the spot her heart should’ve been.

Letting her mind race with thoughts, she jumped off the counter and began to focus on the source of the light in the display window. Her hooves clicked softly on the floor board beneath her, letting a petite noise echo through the shop.  The dim glow of the moon was enough to lure her close enough to watch the outside world she was all too familiar with already.

She was use to the sight of drunkards rambling through the street, harlots luring men to their demise, and playponies flashing their money to gain unattractive mares. In the dead of night it was different though.

The streets were quiet, excluding the sight of drunkards, who have actually caught Vinyl move at times, but considering their drunken state, no one ever believed them. It was the only time Vinyl was actually able to put up with the sight of the dirty streets.

With an unbreakable amount of confidence that she would be on her way, Vinyl took one long look at the city beyond the display window, and muttered the one thing she’s been begging to say for years.

“So long city, and fuck you!” she shouted, investing every ounce of hatred into to place she personally referred to as Purgatory. She did not care if anypony heard her or if anyone glanced into the large open window.

She truly believed she was going to return home and be greeted by countless friends who would become teary eyed at the sight of their long lost friend. She believed the nightmare was finally over.

But as mentioned before, life runs in a treacherous manner.

And the Devil is never too far behind to prey on those who’ve stumbled along the way…