BH Podcasts

Nightshade! And... Stuff....

"So you, are dead." I said, gesturing at the bat pony sitting on the sofa next to me.

"Uh-huh." Nightshade said glumly, her head resting on a hoof which was rested on the sofa arm.

"And the reason for that, is because I have too many characters to keep track of. And you're of the least importance. So you are dead." I said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, well no crap- I had a metal pole stuck THROUGH my chest. Very bucking dignified." Nightshade complained, waving her front hooves wildly in the air. "I was like a bucking mannequin, showing off my shiny bucking armor. Especially love the fact that you made me die in a STANDING position. It's bucking great. Just keep writing that story without me."

"Seriously? Still upset over that?" I raised an eyebrow at her. "I guess it would be a bad time to tell you about a conversation I had with Bboxer?"

"Oh really. What could possibly be worse than me dying." Nightshade went back to leaning on the sofa arm and sulking in boredom.

"Well, speaking of dignity...." I sighed. This is gonna turn very awkward very soon. "I was talking to him about you, and one thing led to another..."

"And..." Nightshade raised an eyebrow.

"Uh..." It seemed like such a good idea to tell her and see her reaction ten minutes ago- but this room was quickly becoming scary. "Well, eventually, and some how, he came up with the idea of you having... Er..."

"What. Is. It." Nightshade growled through gritted teeth, peering through half closed eyes with suspicion.

"Apparently, according to him! Not me!" I said quickly. "You, have... A penis."

It took a while for the words to sink in, but when they did.... There was a blur as Nightshade whipped out a throwing knife from her belt, and threw it across at me without the rest of her body even moving. It flew across, the blade drawing blood from the bridge of my nose; although didn't cut deep enough to cause actual damage. Although I did flinch and almost fall out of the sofa.

The knife hit the wall on the other side, bounced off and into an angled door, ricocheted into a metal vase on a table in the other room, bounced into another door and into Bboxer's office.

"AAAAAH! MY LEG!!" the scream was heard a split second later.

"Well." I said warily, wiping the blood off my nose. "That's tha-"

Then there was a loud boom and fizz- looks like the knife was one of the EMP models. Even though it wouldn't kill him, a mini electric explosion of such would still hurt.

"AAAAAAAAaaaaaaawww, my iPod's broken."

I shook my head, and the room plunged into awkward silence.

"There's that." I muttered.

"This. Has got to be. The most IMMATURE thing, this series has ever experienced. Seriously-" Nightshade muttered, "What could POSSIBLY make this series more IMMATURE than it is already!??"

Then a teletubby walked into the room.

"no! NO! GET OUT!! GET IT OUT OF HERE!!" Nightshade screamed, leaping up and drawing out throwing knives and throwing them after the odd character.

I just sat there while I listened to Nightshade's hollering and the explosions, slowly growing more distant as she chased the teletubby through the studio.

"I don't think that counts as 'immature', but... I'll just... Turn this camera off."