The Element of Honesty - Or: How I Learnt to Stop Worrying and Love Street Theatre
Applejack angrily stormed into the library, and rapped loudly against a desk to gain Twilight’s attention.
“Sugarcube, I know you only thought you were entertainin’ ponies with your fancy puppety show, but you had no right to subject the poor foals to what they witnessed.”
“But Applejack, the show is a classic; it has been enjoyed by generations of ponies all over Equestria, both young and old. Surely it can’t have been that offensive to the audience.” Twilight said shocked at hearing such criticism.
“I admit it had its high points, like when Pinkie used Gummy instead of her puppet, or that scene where you had that Discord puppet come on stage, but that story was full of horrors and concepts I then had to explain to poor Applebloom.”
“Well, OK I guess the show was a little slapstick, but it was written a hundred and fifty years ago. Tastes can’t have changed that much.” Twilight said with a light hearted laugh.
“A little slapstick? Twi the main character brutally murdered the rest of the cast, including his own foal! I think that’s a little more than a bit o’ physical comedy!” Applejack cried indignantly.
“Oh Applejack, it was hardly graphic, and like I said, it’s a classic, foals love the comedy it portrays. Here, I’ll show you the book I found the script in.” Twilight levitated across a thick tome; it’s cover brightly proclaiming it to be ‘Foals’ Classics and Old Favourites’ adorned with a large woodcut of a smiling foal sitting before a puppet booth. “It’s on page one hundred and seven.” Twilight recited automatically.
“Listen, Twi,” Applejack began putting the book aside, “I appreciate that you were acting on good intentions an’ all, but maybe tastes have changed since the show was first done.”
“Oh I know that.” Twilight said dismissively. “I wasn’t sticking word for word to the original version. I did take out the hanging scene and a lot of the violence where the baby is hit against the stage.” Twilight took on a serious face. “Critics tend to find those two scenes too outdated for a modern production.”
“If ya ask me, the entire show is outdated; I mean honestly, the scene where he violently beats a doctor after he tried to cure him! The doctor’s cure was also violent, I’m not sure Applebloom will feel safe going to see one for a long while. She may even have her cutie mark by then.”
“You could argue he was acting in self-defence then.” Twilight stated brightly, not letting the critique bother her. She clopped her hooves together in excitement. “I can’t wait for next week’s showing; Pinkie and I are going to take the booth down to Fillydelphia. I hear they have lovely beaches.”
“That may not be such a good idea. After all, he attacked a police officer, who then also died! Worst bit being, he was supposed to be being arrested for the previous murders.” Applejack placed a compassionate hoof upon Twilight’s shoulder. “Honeybun, that wasn’t even the worst. Nopony needed to see the poor stallion’s nose being mauled by a dog, and then the dog’s owner not even caring ‘bout how dangerous his pet was. It’s the only bit in the show where I actually felt sorry for him.”
“I suppose next you’ll say how the epic fight to the death with Discord was too graphic and outdated too?” Twilight asked feeling put out. “Or that a modern production needs less of him hitting animals with his stick?”
“Well I weren’t gonna say nothin’, but now that you bring it up, it’s true, those scenes were also a little unsuitable as well. Not gonna lie though, Discord’s puppet was very funny to look at.” Applejack said sadly, regretting brining the topic up now. Twilight looked forlorn for a moment, then gave a wide smile.
“Admit it, you enjoyed it didn’t you? You liked the show.” Twilight said aggravatingly cheerful. Applejack’s face scrunched up as she looked guiltily at her.
“Well, like I said earlier, it had its moments…” Applejack said feeling defeated.
“Plus I recognise your laugh anywhere, I heard you practically bawling at most of it.”
“Heh, it did have its funny scenes.” Applejack said with a guilty smile, though as quick as it had appeared on her face it vanished. “But that’s not the point! I’m a full grown mare; I can understand the humour of the situations because I have an adult understandin’ of them.” Applejack glared at Twilight. “Why, no sooner than the curtain goin’ down, Applebloom, poor darling that she was, already asked me really difficult questions. I raised her to know her place in the world, and to understand that nopony has the right to hurt another, regardless of species, age, gender, or reason.”
“The show hardly advocated it either though. Discord turning up underlined the point that the actions were not acceptable, and he was nearly arrested, no part of the production was supposed to teach foals that hitting each other is right.”
“It may not be the point of the show, but it may be a consequence. What of the foals that were not raised like Applebloom, or not as intelligent as you? What message might they take?” Applejack whined in contemplation.
“A great author and literary scholar once analysed the performance. He may give the answer to the question you just asked.” Twilight cleared her throat dramatically. “He went on to say: ‘In my opinion it is one of those extravagant reliefs from the realities of life which would lose its hold upon the ponies if it were made moral and instructive. I regard it as quite harmless in its influence, and as an outrageous joke which no one in existence would think of regarding as an incentive to any kind of action or as a model for any kind of conduct…’ I think that the critic there has a valid point in saying that the show is too extreme in its depiction to actually be inciting ponies to repeat what they see.” Twilight delivered this monologue in a scholarly monotone, not pausing for breath.
“Well, OK, if you’re sure.” Applejack said uneasy, “but there is one more issue I’ve yet to raise. A question Applebloom asked me that I was not comfortable answering.”
“Oh?” Twilight said curiously, interest piqued.
“She asked me what a sausage was.”
