My Little Tripper: Hallucinogens are Magic

by baronessbyron

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Zecora, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 4636

Twilight finds a particular type of scroll that has very peculiar effects when licked.

This is a fun, short story in which Twilight takes the pony equivalent of LSD and has some fun and enlightening experiences. Mature, for very strong drug themes. But a lot of fun!

Published 2013-01-06 23:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-14 20:43:39 UTC

Babysitting

As Twilight trotted towards Fluttershy's cottage, she felt the delightful warmth of Celestia's Sun on her face, and noted what a lovely day it was outside. She hoped Flutttershy was enjoying the beauty of the sun as much as she was. As she arrived, she heard delighted squeals and all manner of animal sounds coming from the back yard. she trotted around the back of the cottage and found that Fluttershy was indulging in an uncharacteristic moment of roughhousing, rolling around with her animal friends in complete revelry. Twilight announced herself with a small giggle, and Fluttershy shot ten feet up in the air, before slowly descending. She brushed herself off, looking mildly embarrassed.

"Oh...my...hi there Twilight," the pudding colored pony greeted her, "What brings you over this way?"

"Hey there Fluttershy!" Suddenly Twilight felt as if she had a bit more energy, or rather, that the world

was worth putting more energy into, "I came here to tell you that I..."

How was she supposed to explain this? Pinkie was one thing. She knew she had a partying history and knew the lifestyles that implied. But Fluttershy was somewhat sheltered, and Twilight was unsure how to explain herself.

"Yes?"

"I used a mind expanding scroll because I was curious about the 70's!" she blurted out. Better to get it

over with.

Fluttershy seemed confused about what to do with this knowledge. She mumbled something about needing to go inside for lunch time, and nodded silently to her animals to follow her. However, the animals stayed riveted in their places. They'd seen this purple pony before, she was the one who had allowed them to fly in dazzling figure eights. This time, though, she seemed different. Something smelled not quite the same, and something DEFINITELY didn't feel the same. Fluttershy silently begged and pleaded with her animals to come away from her altered friend, just until she was better, but they didn't listen.Twilight stared down at the fuzzy line up in front of her. then, with one swoop of her magic, she picked up a field mouse and put him on her shoulder, nuzzling him with her cheek.

"You're gonna be my buddy!" enthused Twilight, and with that, she was gone.

It was only as Twilight popped back into existence, outside and under Rainbow Dash's house, that Twilight realized two things. One, her entire body was tingling as if it were being showered with tiny feathers. Two, she had just stolen a field mouse. The field mouse in question, whom she had officially named Caspian, was sitting calmly, almost sleepily on her shoulder still, and did not seem to comprehend or mind his state of larceny in the least.

Rainbow Dash Popped her head sleepily over her front porch to look down at her friend, who was now

grinning up at her absurdly.

"What's with the face? Someone dose your Cheerioats today?" Quipped Rainbow.

"Yes! And it was me!" shouted Twilight, and without bothering to explain, or acquaint Rainbow Dash with Caspian, Twilight was off in a flash.

Twilight didn't know where she was going next, or what she was doing, but she knew that she had a major yen for a cupcake, and wanted to touch base with Pinkie Pie, so she teleported to Sugarcube corner to wait. However, when she got there, the Cakes were in, and Pinkie Pie had yet to return from her trek to Sweet Apple Acres. Twilight took a seat in the bakery and giggled to herself while patting Caspian. Everything was suddenly just hilarious. ESPECIALLY, when the Cakes came out. Twilight tried not to burst out laughing when they said hello, but at that moment, she found the word hello to be the funniest thing in the world at that moment.

"Have you ever thought about the fact that one of the words we use everyday to greet each other, is

only ONE LETTER AWAY from JELLO?!"

Twilight couldn't stop giggling, and the Cakes looked at each other, confused. Luckily, it was at that moment that Pinkie swooped in, and, like a regular verbal MacGyver, fabricated an excuse.

"Twilight, don't get away from me like that!" the earth pony lied, her tongue quicker than that of any Manehattan lawyer or Canterlot politician could ever be.

"Sorry Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Twilight accidentally took the wrong meds this morning, and I was supposed to make sure she didn't do anything silly."

"yeah..." Twilight trailed off, instantly picking up on what the earth pony was up to, but not as good at covering things up, "I took 2 of one of my meds by mistake."

With that, Mrs. Cake's maternal instinct took over, and her expression softened.

"Oh, well dearie, you should probably go home and get some rest," she smiled.

Blessing Pinkie Pie for her quick wits, Twilight excused the two of them, and they stepped outside into the brilliant light of day.

As they walked, Twilight looked around and noticed many small wonders she had never taken heed to before. Had she really never noticed how soft and wonderful the grass felt on her hooves? How had she missed the amazing aromas that hung in the air? Twilight looked up and noticed the breathtaking way that the sunlight refracted off of the clouds in infinite nautili. This was truly math at its most beautiful.

"Pinkie...Pinkie have you ever noticed how the sunbeams point in such beautiful perfect angles away from the sun? Do you think Celestia does that on purpose? She's gotta, right, I mean that's WAY too pretty to be a coincidence, right? Right?"

"Whoa there, nelly," Applejack appeared in front of her. Twilight hadn't realized where they were going, but they had arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack greeted them, and invited them inside.

"You'd do right to come on into the barn, Twi, trippin' ain't something somepony should do alone, and the only way I can keep an eye on ya is if ya sit in here for a while. Pinkie has to go run some errands, so I'm gonna be yer babysitter for a while."

Twilight suddenly felt embarrassed.

"I don't need to be babysat," she whined, realizing only afterwards how juvenile she had sounded.

The others shared a look, and chuckled.

"Twi, a babysitter is just someone who stays with you to make sure you don't follow through on any bad ideas while you're tripping. we don't think you need an actual babysitterOH FIDDLESTICKS!!!" Pinkie looked down at her wrist, apparently discerning, although she lacked a watch, that she was late for an ACTUAL babysitting appointment with the Cakes. She rushed off, leaving behind a trail of pink that, this time, not only Twilight could see.

"Well, Twi," said Applejack, "ya got a couple hours to--is that a doormouse on yer shoulder?"

"Oh yes," said Twilight, "This is Caspian. Say hello, buddy!"

Caspian, still fairly unawares of his surroundings, looked up at Applejack, and gave her the closest thing a mouse could give to a smile.

Applejack did her best to reciprocate.

"Beggin' your pardon, Twilight, but where did...Caspian...come from?"

Twilight thought for a second.

"Oh! I grabbed him when i went to see Fluttershy!"

Applejack's hoof hit her forehead, as she realized the turmoil her pink and yellow friend was likely going through at that moment. Fluttershy was probably making missing mouse posters, in between crying fits and hysterics.

"Twi, ya can't take peoples' things. They aren't yours,"lectured Applejack.

Twilight realized this, but at this moment couldn't bring herself to care.

"I suppose so...do you have any paper?! I really wanna draw!"

Applejack chuckled and shook her head.

"Sure hon. But you need to give me Caspian so I can take him back to Fluttershy."

"But..." Twilight looked down at Caspian, and up at Applejack with big watery eyes, "he's my buddy..."

Applejack couldn't say no to that face.

"Sigh...fine, but here, here's yer paper. If you could try to stay here for now, I'd be mighty obliged."

Twilight happily agreed, and Applejack went about her business while Ponyville's most talented magician went about trying to trace her hoof with a crayon. This proved more difficult than she had imagined, however, and mostly resulted in her laughing hysterically. When she grew bored of this, she simply got up, and left the barn. Applejack was working on a rather large field of Granny Smith's, and didn't notice the purple pony as she trotted away.

And with that, she was off again.

This Chapter...ermahgerd

It was quite a few minutes before Applejack realized that Twilight was gone, and by that time, Applejack realized that Twilight could be anywhere, given her ability to teleport, so she merely chuckled and sighed and hoped that the purple mare wouldn't get into too much trouble.

But getting into trouble was just what Twilight was doing at that very moment. Twilight trotted into the Everfree forest with a determined set to her jaw. She was on a mission. She had always wanted, no, YEARNED for the courage to do what she was about to do, but had never found it until this moment. As the forest grew dense around her, Twilight realized that maybe going into a fairly dangerous area of Equestria while under the influence of some of the strangest magic she had ever encountered was not such a great idea. But no. She wasn't going to let the risk of something as silly as the risk of being devoured by a much larger animal deter her.from her mission.

Suddenly, Twilight heard a roar that seemed to shake the earth. Any sensible mare would have run away immediately, self preservation instincts screaming at them to run home and grab their Smarty Pants doll. But Twilight's instincts were glossed over by a very powerful curiosity, and so instead, she went galloping to find the source of the sound.

When she arrived, the offending animal had been long subdued, and what she found was Pinkie, and a rather strange colt, who had no face, and of all things, strange tentacles protruding from his back. Pinkie turned to Twilight, and the grin on her face was unnervingly bright and sunny.

"Wow! Speak of the devil, here's one of my closest friends now! Twilight, I would like you to meet Slendy. Slendy, this is Twilight!"

Then Pinkie remembered Twilight's altered state. or rather, she remembered Twilight's altered state when Twilight Put her hoof up against Slendermane's muzzle and proceeded to search for a mouth, a nose, any type of facial feature. Fully satisfied that this was the weirdest stallion she had ever seen, Twilight turned to Pinkie Pie.

"You know he hasn't got a face right? I'm not the only one seein' this?" Twilight had completely lost the ability to care who she offended.

"Sorry Slendy, Twilight's just a little 'WoOoOo' today. Somepony used a particular type of scroll today, if you catch my drift, Wink wink, nudge, nudge."

Slendermane didn't catch her drift. At all.

"........"

"WELL, this has been weird! Nice to meet you Slendy, but I got stuff to do! Ta TA!"

And with that, she cantered away.

"Sorry Slendy, Twilight's not usually so weird," Pinkie apologized, "you gotta read the other fanfic."

"What?"

"Nothing. C'mon, Let's go."

Twilight kept trotting, undeterred by her encounter of her friend and that strange faceless tentacle pony. Her lack of surprise at this was partially caused by the scroll, and partially by the fact that it had been, well, Pinkie. If she wanted to have a coltfriend with tentacles, then...actually Twilight could certainly see the appeal of having a coltfriend with tentacles.

Twilight shook her head wildly to clear it. The last thing she wanted to think about was Pinkie in that type of situation. MUCH too weird, even for her brain in this state.

She pressed on until she came to the small, secluded shack in the woods that she recognized as Zecora's home. This was it...the moment she had been thinking, fantasizing, even...doing other things, about since she had first laid eyes on the voluptuous frame of the Zebra. Twilight remembered it clearly. Looking out at what her friends were cowering in fear from, she had been shocked by her own reaction. She had felt dizzy, looking at the way the sunlight had glinted off of Zecora's dangerous curves, the way her brass rings seemed to glint and sparkle, the mysterious unique shape of her eyes. Twilight had never seen a more beautiful mare. This was compounded when she learned of Zecora's proficiency with magic. After all, there was nothing Twilight was more passionate, and she felt that this was a real bond between the two of them. But, what was she supposed to do with these feelings? Twilight had always been so shy when it came to that sort of interaction. She had had crushes before, but had always screwed things up the minute she opened her mouth. But this was going to have to be different. She was done with visiting Zecora and walking away with a few rare herbs and a whole lot of regret. NO. MORE.

Twilight burst into the cottage, finding Zecora taking a soak in her spare cauldron. Sweet, earthy aromas permeated the air. Twilight almost backed out right then, but something spurred her forward.

"Twilight, my dear, you shouldn't intrude, it is a behavior that most find quite rude."

Twilight was almost without words, but found them, meeting Zecora on her level.

"I'm tired of coming around here and being a wussy, so get out of that tub, and relinquish your--"

the last parts of Twilight's rhyme was cut off by Zecora's tongue being shoved rather forcefully down her throat.

"If this is what you truly seek, come bathe with me, and take a peek," the striped seductress intoned.

Twilight stepped into the fragrant bath, and felt instantly at ease. She felt herself become weightless in the water, and simply allowed herself to drink in the sensation. she was then wholly shocked by a different sensation. Zecora had closed the space between them and was now nibbling on her ear. Twilight had never felt something so entirely pleasurable in her life. The weightlessness, the delightful lapping of Zecora's tongue. Twilight's hoof dipped down below the water and lightly caressed her lips, focusing on the soft bit of flesh at the top of the crease. Zecora stroked the soft saturated fur of her inner thighs, and moved to help Twilight with her endeavors.

Twilight's body tingled and twitched as she came to one of the most exquisite climaxes she had ever experienced. The walls of the cabin seemed to be shaking with every convulsive throb of pleasure. The world seemed to twist and bend.

When she finally came down from her orgasmic high, she had one and only one objective in mind: returning the favor. she dove underwater, using a bubble charm she had learned somewhere to keep breathing, and buried her face in Zecora's thighs. Zecora reciprocated by moaning and bucking against twilight's face. Twilight carried her through until she whinnied with pleasure, her climax almost parallel to Twilight's.

The two sat in reverie for a few minutes, and Twilight finally got up to leave.

"This was wonderful, my dear, Remember, you are always welcome here," smiled Zecora.

"Thanks, I might take you up on that."

Outside, a doormouse waited, and thought idly that this day had been more interesting than most.

Twilight picked Caspian up and continued her journey. She had a lot to do, and very little time.

The Lesson

When Twilight arrived back home, she was surprised to find the library dark. as she shut the door, she squinted and lit the tip of her horn. As the glow lit surfaces in the centre room, Twilight noticed a few additions to the usually sterile environment. Balloons, streamers, and a punch bowl loomed around the library like unfamiliar faces in a class she had taken a hundred times.

Before She had time to react, Lights flicked on, and twilight was accosted by an explosion of confetti, compressed air, and Pinkie Pie.

"Surprise!" She shouted, as she barreled towards her friend.

Twilight didn't have sufficient time to duck, or put up a force field, so her eyes simply widened and she shrieked in surprise as she, Caspian, and Pinkie became a Katamari ball that rolled into the wall behind them.

As the two disentangled themselves, Twilight Sparkle demanded answers.

"Pinkie, what are you doing here? and...what is...everypony else...?" Twilight trailed off as she realized that she and Pinkie were not alone in her library. Around her stood her other four best friends, each with amused smiles on their faces as they looked down at the spectacle before them.

"What's going on is your 'Welcome Back to Ponyville, Sorry We Haven't All Been More Supportive of Your Journey, But We're Here Now' Party!" Pinkie enthused.

Fluttershy was the first pony to step forward.

"Twilight...I'm sorry I was so withdrawn when you told me what you had done. I was worried about my animals, and I was confused, but you're my friend and I should have been there for you," Fluttershy looked out from under her hair apologetically.

"And I should have been more aware and not let you amble on off like that. Mighty sorry Twi," Applejack spoke up, with a sincere smile on her face.

Rainbow Dash just looked at her altered unicorn pal, and asked, "Hey Twi, got any more?"

"Really darling, this is supposed to be a way of supporting our friend during what is probably a confusing time, NOT a drug parlay," Rarity glowered at Rainbow Dash.

Twilight looked at all her friends, circled around her, ready to help her through any problem she had ever had.

"Oh, girls, I love and care for you all so much. Thank you for everything," Twilight's eyes welled over with joyful tears, "I'm fine Rarity, this has been so enlightening, I've had so much fun, I've learned a lot about myself, I'm just so happy to have ponies like you in my life."

Twilight looked around, and realized that she wanted nothing more for the rest of her trip than to be here, with her friends.

With that, the six of them and Spike pulled into a big group hug. Caspian escaped only by a mouse hair, lest he be squished betwixt giant walls of equine flesh.

For the rest of the night, the girls laughed, talked, and reminisced on all the great times they had been through together, and finally all ended up falling asleep on the blanketed floor they had set out. All except for Twilight, that was.

Twilight, unable to sleep as the rest of the magic worked its way out of her system, sat up and penned a letter.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned several amazing lessons, like not to steal doormice, and practical uses for the Bubblehead charm. But the most important lesson I learned is that your real friends will always be there for you, even when you make a decision that puts you in an alienated position. They want to see you happy, and will stick with you, whether you're having fun playing 'What's in my hoof", or crying because seaponies have invaded the upstairs and are going to come down and turn you into one of their crazy overcult. They love you, and they are truly the most important asset a pony can have.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle"

She opted not to wake Spike, and sent the letter herself, using the transportation spell Celestia had taught her last summer. A doozy for sure, but worth it.

In Canterlot, Celestia chewed a mushroom, and read over Twilight's letter.

"Huh, wonder if she has any more?"

Author's Note

Well, here it is, the end of this story. TADA!!!

The Mysterious Scroll

Twilight Sparkle stared at the large letters on the scroll in front of her.

LICK ME

Earlier that day, Twilight had discovered a small attic hidden in one of the branches of her library. She was overjoyed when she found that it still had many boxes left over from the previous tenants. Twilight had been giddy with excitement as she dragged out the first box. What historical tidbits lay in wait for her? What exciting glimpses into the past might she be provided by this alcove of knowledge?

Not many, as it turned out. Apparently, the previous owners of the tree had been wrapped up fairly deeply in 70's culture, and had had precious little time for reading, learning, or any other real academic endeavor. Twilight had felt somewhat dejected as she pulled the last of ten boxes out, only to find it to be filled with more of the same detritus: Bedazzled saddles, Gellee horseshoes, and a strange yet familiar lamp. Perhaps she had seen one at Derpy's house? There were a few photos, but these were mostly candid snapshots of ponies Twilight had never met, places she'd never been. nothing of real consequence, although Twilight found it entertaining to make up stories about these ponies and who they might have been.

But what was this?! a scroll! Twilight had been relieved to find that these ponies had at least one piece of literature tucked away in their recesses. This doubled her dismay and confusion when she unrolled the paper, only to find the two rather lewd words. What would ponies be doing licking scrolls anyway?

And that's when it dawned on her. She had read about this kind of magic in books about that era. Ponies used them to trip, or expand their minds. They were considered illicit, and banned by the government. Twilight had never really understood why, seeing as her goal in life was to expand her knowledge, and could that really be so different than expanding one's mind? Still, it was an illegal artifact, and most of them had been destroyed by this time. Twilight looked at the scroll. It seemed harmless enough. the letters were big and friendly, and she had never heard of anything really terrible coming from this particular magic. She had even read that this magic was a large part of one of the largest musical renaissances in equestrian history.

She also knew that this was probably the last of it's kind in Ponyville, and certainly the last she'd ever see. she wondered what her friends would do. Applejack was never much for recreation, although she did smoke hay to ease the muscle cramps of a hard day's work. Rarity had had her fun in college, Twilight suspected, and probably would be interested in the creative aspect that this magic was rumored to cause. Rainbow Dash would probably do it just for the hay of it, not really having a sense of responsibility. And Pinkie. Well, Pinkie was liable to lick pieces of paper regardless of if they held any effects therein.

Twilight thought about all these factors, as well as how the princess might feel about her engaging in illicit magic. Yes, the princess could potentially be very angry with her for this, but Twilight simply couldn't pass up an opportunity for empirical study. Twilight knew that the princess had forgiven her for several spells she later found out were illegal in Equestria, such as the Want It Need It spell, which was illegal for it's potential for product placement, and the Get Up and Go Spell, made illegal after the Olympics scandals. Twilight decided that this spell couldn't be half as bad as either of those. after all. no one could get hurt, and there was no lying or manipulation built around it.

Twilight had thought long enough. The time for action was upon her. Twilight had made up her mind. She steeled her self, and pressed her tongue to the scroll.

~

Twilight had expected there to be some sort of flavor on the scroll, perhaps something chemical. What she experienced instead was a sensation, a sort of prickling on her tongue as if it had been struck with a weak static charge. This sensation spread down her spine, and out into each of her legs, straight to her hooves. an interesting experience already, for sure. Twilight was reluctant to open her eyes, fearing that the world around her would be vastly different. The one negative effect of these scrolls that she had heard of was the infamous "bad trip", in which ponies saw or experienced disturbing things, a few of whom had trouble ever coping again in every day life. Twilight was terrified by this idea. She wanted to experience what ponies of the past had, but certainly not THOSE ponies. When she did open her eyes, the world remained much the same as it had been. Soft sunlight filtered through the small window, eddies of dust in the air ebbing and flowing like lazy ocean tides, clothes, boxes, and musty stacks of old photographs lay in disarray in the attic. Twilight was disappointed. No, she was more than disappointed. She was dismayed. This had been an all day endeavor, and she had gotten nothing out of it. Twilight stormed out of the attic and out of her house, not looking back to say goodbye to Spike, who merely shrugged at the pony's strange behavior.

Twilight had barely taken three steps out of the house when she was assaulted by a racing pink blur. Pinkie tackled Twilight to the ground in one of her "constrictorific boa hugs". As they got up, Pinkie's broad smile drooped into a frown as she noticed her friend's surly expression.

"Hey Twilight...you don't seem happy to be surprise squeezed! Usually you at least seem surprised. What's wrong?"

Twilight considered lying, but realized that if anypony was going to understand what she had done without judgement, it would be Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie sat with uncharacteristic patience as Twilight told her about the attic, the annoying boxes full of silly outdated clothing, and lastly, the scroll. When she was done, Pinkie smiled a sage smile at Twilight.

"Don't worry silly billy. You didn't get a dud scroll."

"But it didn't do anything. I don't feel any different," lamented Twilight.

"Well, DUUUH," the blush pony opined, "it hasn't hit your bloodstream yet. Expansion scrolls are a very delicate blend of chemistry and magic. That's why only REALLY smart ponies like Albert Hoofman figured out how to create them in the late 40's."

Twilight marvelled at the random spout of knowledge from Pinkie, and rejoiced that the scroll had not simply malfunctioned.

"So...when am I going to start feeling the effects then?"

"Well, let's see. If you licked it about 20 minutes ago, then it should be hitting you in half an hour or so. You should probably go tell the other girls. Yanno, just in case you go kinda WOOOoOoOo." Pinkie made a circle next to her temple with her hoof to make the point more clear.

Twilight realized that her friend might be right.

"Do you think you could help me with that, Pinkie? I don't think I can get to everypony in a half hour."

Pinkie nodded emphatically. "Sure, Twilight! you take Flutters and Dashie, I'll take Rare and AJ! We'll meet back here in 30. BREAK!" With that, she sped off to carry out her half of the mission. Twilight watched as she galloped off, smirking at her silly antics. She then turned and began walking to Fluttershy's house.

Author's Note

Buck me. I spent nearly 3 hours writing this at 5 am and somehow I hit the wrong button and the tab closed. This second draft won't be half as good as the first, but I still am engaged in the plot. So here we go.