Who wants to live forever?
The Bitterness of Mortality
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, a valiant knight married a beautiful princess. They lived in wedded bliss for many years, but not forever.
He was a Unicorn. Magic, but mortal. As the years passed he became long in the tooth, as equines do. His coat dulled, his mane greyed, and his body slowly but surely succumbed to entropy.
She was an Alicorn. The casual observer would describe her as a winged Unicorn, or a horned Pegasus, but Alicorns were far more than that. She was a Goddess in equine form. She possessed magic beyond that of even the mightiest Unicorns, power enough to move the stars themselves. Such power kept her physical body eternally young and healthy, and that power would only grow with the passing of the ages. Entropy never laid so much as a gloved hand on her.
Alas, she could not share this power with others, not even her beloved Shining Armor. She chose simply not to think of this. Thanks to her magic, he aged so gradually and so gracefully that she hardly even noticed he was getting older. Still, her spells only treated the symptoms of senescence, not its cause.
One day, when Shining Armor was over a hundred years old…
“Celestia!” Cadence screamed as she teleported into the Throne Room. She had brought her husband with her. He lay on his side, his breathing laboured. He was only semi-conscious.
Cadence was frantic, with tears streaming from her eyes.
“Celestia! Help me!” she screeched hysterically. Celestia immediately rose from her Throne and rushed to her niece’s side.
“What’s happened?” she asked, examining Shining Armor.
“I don’t know. He just collapsed. I’ve tried everything I know but he won’t wake up,” Cadence explained frantically. “What is it? What’s wrong? Why won’t he wake up?”
Celestia looked upon her young niece with pity. Cadence was as old as Shining Armor, but for an Alicorn she was still just a child. Celestia had taken a mortal lover in her youth as well, and like Cadence she had been willfully blind to his inevitable passing. Refusing to acknowledge the inevitable only made it even more devastating. She wished she could have spared Cadence this pain, but she knew it was a lesson she would have to learn on her own.
“He’s dying Cadence,” Celestia whispered, softly and sadly. Cadence stared at her in utter shock.
“Do something!” she demanded.
“He’s beyond all help now. Even mine,” Celestia said.
“No!” Cadence wailed. “No! I can’t lose him! You have to save him!”
“I can’t,” Celestia said simply.
“What do you mean you can’t!?” Cadence demanded. “You’re the most powerful Pony in Equestria. How can there be nothing you can do?”
“For millennia my subjects have asked me to prolong the lives of their loved ones, even resurrect them from the dead,” Celestia replied. “I tell you what I tell them. Even I have no power over death.”
“No! You’re wrong! If Alicorn magic makes us immortal, then why can’t it do it for somepony else?” Cadence asked.
“Your Alicorn magic is an intrinsic part of your being Cadence. You cannot share it with another any more than you can share your heart,” Celestia explained.
“I have shared my heart!” Cadence told her. “Nearly all my life now, I’ve shared my heart with Shining Armor, and if he dies then I will never be whole again. Please Celestia! Save him!”
“I’m sorry my child,” Celestia said, lowering her head. “There is nothing I can do.”
“No! No!” Cadence screamed. Her horn began to glow with a ferocious light, and Shining Armor was encompassed with a blue aura as Cadence infused his body with as much magic as she could. “Please! Please Shining don’t leave me here. Don’t leave me alone forever.”
Shining Armor’s eyes slowly opened, and he looked into the eyes of his beloved wife. She smiled at him, and he smiled back.
“Mi Amori Cadenza,” he whispered. “My Love Cadence.
“Goodbye.”
And then his eyes closed, and his heart stopped.
“No!” Cadence screamed. She cast spell after spell, but nothing brought him back. Finally she threw herself on the body and hugged it desperately. She started screaming as if she had literally been ripped apart.
Her horrific screams were heard throughout the palace, bringing every member of the Royal Guard and everyone else within earshot to the Throne Room.
“It’s all right,” Celestia claimed, holding back the crowd with her mere presence. “Just let her be for now. Just…let her be.”
***
With the passing of Prince Shining Armor, all of Equestria was in mourning. A spectacular funeral was held in his honour, and his remains were put to rest within the catacombs of the Crystal Palace. With Cadence utterly grief stricken, it fell upon her eldest daughter to rule the Crystal Empire. All were heartbroken to see their beloved Crystal Princess in such despair. She couldn’t even bring herself to speak at Shining Armor’s funeral. She hadn’t spoken a word since his death at all. Her heartache utterly consumed her, and all she could do was weep and wail in misery.
One evening Twilight came to Cadence’s bedchamber. The old Unicorn had aged well thanks to her magic, but time had still taken its toll. Her heart was heavy at the loss of her brother, but not broken. She had lost her parents, and all five of her dearest friends, and she had grieved for them all. The sorrow she carried with her for all her lost loves was great, but not so great as to consume her as it had Cadence. Perhaps it was easier for her since she had always accepted the inevitability of death, and never succumbed to the blissful delusion that her loved ones would never be taken from her. Whatever the reason, Twilight managed to keep afloat in a deluge of despair.
Cadence meanwhile was drowning in it.
Though she hadn’t eaten or slept since she’d lost her husband, her aunts had at least been able to prod Cadence into drinking some water. Twilight was bringing her some now. She gently opened the door and stuck her head in to see if Cadence was still in bed.
To her surprise the bed was empty. She wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not. She quietly trotted into the room looking for any sign of her sister-in-law.
“Cadence?” she said softly. It was then she noticed that the balcony door was open. Cadence stood upon the balcony with her head hung low. She did not look at all herself. Her fur, feathers, mane and tail were disheveled, her face haggard and tear stained, and she bore none of the accoutrements typical of Equestrian Royalty.
Still, she was up, and for the moment had ceased weeping.
Twilight went out upon the balcony and set the bowl of water down in front of Cadence.
“You’re looking a little better,” she said. Cadence didn’t acknowledge her presence. “If you feel well enough, I could bring you something to eat. It would make us all feel a lot better if you took some food.”
Cadence said nothing.
“As you wish.” Twilight turned to take her leave.
“Twilight,” Cadence said hoarsely.
“Yes Princess?” Twilight asked, eagerly turning back around.
“Do you think there’s an afterlife?” she asked.
Twilight could hardly imagine a more awkward question. The passing of a loved one was not an appropriate time to challenge religious beliefs, especially when the survivor was as devastated as Cadence.
But, the question was asked, and an answer was due.
“Well, that would depend if there’s a level of reality above our own,” Twilight replied. “Powerful Unicorns can create living fantasies. It’s possible that our entire Universe is such a living fantasy, created by beings with powers far beyond our own. That level of reality might contain many such fantasies, and may itself be only a fantasy of an even higher level of reality. There could be a myriad of different realities. Maybe somewhere there’s a reality filled with talking apes who think a pink and purple Unicorn discussing metaphysics is ridiculous.”
“Twilight, I’m being serious,” Cadence said.
“Of course, I’m sorry,” Twilight apologized. “My point is that if our world is a fantasy, and its creators were benevolent, then they could arrange for a Pony’s consciousness to transcend to their level of reality upon death. It’s also possible that we already exist on a higher level of reality, and that this is only a dream world. If that’s the case, then dying is just waking up.”
“Do you believe that?” Cadence asked.
“It’s possible. Of course, a lot of things are possible. Some would say the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, but rationally you can’t assume something exists without evidence. Invisible pink yahoos are possible, but I have no reason to believe in them. However, I do have a reason to believe this world isn’t real.”
“What?” Cadence asked. Twilight smiled.
“Pinkie Pie. You remember Pinkie right?”
Cadence nodded.
“Pinkie was the most inexplicable Pony I’ve ever known,” Twilight said. “She was an Earth Pony, but she was magic. It was her own special type of magic, and it didn’t obey any of the laws of magic that are supposed to be inviolable. At first I tried to prove that it wasn’t real, but eventually I had to accept that her powers were genuine. I came up with a theory once that she gained magic because she had so many friends, and that it just manifested itself in unusual ways due to her personality, but that didn’t really hold up. I became convinced that the only explanation for Pinkie’s power is that our reality is just a fantasy, and that she was a lucid dreamer who could bend it to her will.
“She could see the future, squeeze into impossible places, defy gravity, sprout extra limbs, run faster than Rainbow Dash could fly, and I swear she could teleport when no one was looking. At first, I found the notion that our world is only an illusion to be existentially horrifying. It gnawed away at me, until eventually I confronted Pinkie about it. I had to know if it was true.
“I had hoped she would just laugh at me, say I was just being silly. But she didn’t. She actually became serious, and that scared the daylights out of me. She said, ‘If our world really was just pretend, would you really want to know?’. I told her that I had to know the truth. She nodded, and then did something I never expected.
“She created a portal in mid-air. It was large enough for us to walk through. She said to follow her through it. Too stunned to argue, I did. We were in an infinite black abyss. Pinkie said that it was a kind of limbo between realities. We were outside of our world, but that was as far as we could go with our bodies. Only disembodied consciousness could travel between realities.
“I was so devastated by this revelation that I just dropped to the ground and wept. My whole life, my whole world, none of it was real. Everything that had ever mattered to me was nothing but a dream. Pinkie apologized for showing it to me, mumbled something about never freeing a mind passed a certain age, and did her best to console me. I asked her how she could always be so happy knowing what she knew. And then, then she laughed.
“ ‘Because it’s a game silly’, she said, as if it were blindingly obvious. Life was a game, and she had cheat codes. For a while after that incident, I spent a lot of time having unusually serious existential conversations with Pinkie Pie. She helped me to see that even if there are realities above our own, that didn’t mean our world didn’t matter. Dreams always seem real to the dreamer. I found it inspiring that knowing what she did, Pinkie chose to spend her life making Ponies happy. Even though it wasn’t real, she thought our world was beautiful and joyful and magical, and she did everything in her considerable power to make it more so. Pinkie was a lot smarter than most Ponies gave her credit for, so I decided to follow her example. This world, this life, is real to me, and that’s all that matters.
“So yes Cadence, I believe there’s an afterlife. I think our souls ascend to a higher level of reality upon death. What scares me though is that once we do, this life will seem like a dream. It won’t matter to us anymore, and may even quickly fade from memory as dreams often do. I think my friends still exist somewhere in some form, but I’m scared that they don’t remember me anymore.”
“Not all dreams fade, Twilight,” Cadence said. “Not all dreams seem meaningless upon waking. My love for your brother is transcendent and ever-lasting. Even in death my love for him is all-consuming. No matter what bizarre form his spirit may now take, no matter what strange reality it may now dwell in, I know he still loves me. And…I think your friends still love you too.”
She tried to smile, but couldn’t. Another wave of despair overcame her, and she started weeping again.
“Sometimes, cynical Ponies would say something to me about being married to the same stallion for eighty years, as if it were a long time. It really didn’t feel like that long. Why do you have to die so soon?”
Cadence choked back another sob.
“Twilight, I never wanted to be a Goddess,” she said. “I’ve always thought of myself as a Pony. I’ve lived my life as if I was a Pony. I was a babysitter when I was a teenager for Celestia’s sake! Now I am expected to live on until the end of time, without the one Pony who gave my life meaning? What happens if I do? Will I become like Celestia? Will the passing of each generation become nothing more than the changing of the seasons, then nothing but the rising and setting of the sun? Will mortal lives seem so brief to me that I am no longer capable of even forming the simplest of friendships? Then I would truly be alone in this world, forever. I can’t do that. How could anypony?”
“Cadence, you won’t be alone,” Twilight assured her. “You’ll have Celestia, and Luna, and your daughter, and even Spike.”
“Spike’s a plothole,” Cadence claimed. Twilight gave the grieving goddess a cold glare.
“He is not a plothole,” she said through her teeth. “He’s a Dragon, and Dragons are usually solitary, so they lack the social skills of more gregarious species. Because of this, Spike can be a little insensitive at times, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a good heart.”
Cadence sighed, and nodded apologetically.
“I’m sorry Twilight,” she said. “It may be a good heart, but it’s still a Dragon’s heart. Dragons can endure millennia of solitude with ease. I cannot. I need to love and be loved, Twilight. With Shining Armor gone, there’s an agonizing void inside me that I cannot live with, and I do not believe anypony else can fill it. No mortal can fill it, for they will die and leave me alone again. Skyla reminds me so much of her father that I cannot even bear to look at her. Celestia and Luna are so ancient that they are as untouchable to me as they are to you, and Dragons are not Ponies!
“I am a Goddess of Love, who must now face eternity without Love. Twilight, do you envy me my immortality, especially with your own end so near?”
Twilight hesitated.
“Please Twilight, answer me honestly,” Cadence insisted.
“Yes,” Twilight said softly. Cadence’s face twitched with anger.
“Why?” she demanded.
“I…I love this world. I’ve spent my whole life studying it. I even saved it a few times. I have a lot invested in this world, and it’s all I’ve even known. I do miss my parents, and my friends, and now my brother, and I wish I could have them back. But I love Celestia like a mother, and Spike like a son. They must remain in this world for eons. I don’t want to leave them. I don’t want to forget them. I wish I could stay here with them.”
“Celestia loves you as well Twilight,” Cadence told her. “She has loved many mortals, and over the ages has become numb to their loss. Nonetheless, I believe your passing will pain her. I wish to spare her that pain.”
“You can’t Cadence. I’m going to die whether I want to or not,” Twilight said. She suddenly became aware that her body had been enveloped in the blue aura of Cadence’s magic.
“And you don’t want to die,” Cadence said. “I’m going to live forever whether I want to or not, and I don’t. So, how about a trade?”
“What are you talking about? You can’t make me immortal,” Twilight claimed.
“I can’t share my Alicorn magic, but I can give it away,” Cadence told her. “Think of it as a magic transplant.”
“What! Cadence, you can’t die! The Crystal Empire needs you!” Twilight claimed.
“My daughter Skyla will make a fine Crystal Princess,” Cadence replied. “Perhaps she will have the strength to endure until the end of time, but I know I don’t. My heart breaks every time somepony I love dies, and I can’t take it anymore. I can’t bear to watch any more of you die.”
“Cadence, please think of what you’re giving up!” Twilight pleaded. “You’re depressed now, you’re not thinking clearly! You’re giving up eternal life! I can’t take that from you!”
“This life is worthless to me now without Shining Armor,” Cadence said. “The world is now grey and ugly and foul in his absence, and I cannot tolerate it one minute more. I would rather risk non-existence than to exist forever without him. If Shining Armor does still live on in some form on some plane of existence, then I must find him. If it takes me all eternity, I will find my beloved again.
“Twilight, I didn’t choose you just because you happened to be here right now. I knew I was going to give away my Alicorn magic as soon as I lost Shining. I thought long and hard about who to give it to, and could think of no one worthier than you. You’ve become the most powerful Unicorn alive, but you’ve always used your powers for good. I know you’ll use Alicorn magic wisely. You’re more than just a good Pony Twilight, you’re a hero! You’re one of the greatest heroes in history. I was just born an Alicorn. You deserve it.”
“Cadence, please, I don’t want to live forever if it means killing you!” Twilight exclaimed, struggling to escape the vice of Cadence’s spell.
“Don’t you understand? I don’t want this anymore!” Cadence screamed. “I never wanted this! Immortality in a world of mortals would be an eternity of heartache, and that would be Tartarus for me! I am asking you to be my salvation. Every mortal you’ve ever loved has died, and yet you still find beauty and meaning in life. My immortality is wasted on me, but imagine what you could do with a thousand years of study and practice. Imagine how all of Equestria would benefit from your talents. You’d be a far better Goddess than me Twilight.
“This isn’t just your gift Twilight, it’s a gift for all of Equestria, including its Princess. Celestia loves you dearly. She loves you more than she loves me, and I don’t blame her. It’s been centuries since she’s wept over the death of a mortal, but I think she would do it for you. But she won’t have to now. Instead she’ll have the immortal daughter she’s dreamed of for so many ages, a child to mold and raise and teach forever, somepony who will ease the burden of her godhood. Something I’ve never been, and could never be.
“Good bye Twilight. Please don’t waste my gift to you. Make my aunt happy, and Equestria proud.”
“No, wait. Candence, stop!” Twilight begged, but to no avail. Cadence leaned her head in, and touched her horn to Twilight’s. There was a brilliant flash of blue light, and Cadence was gone. Her body disintegrated into luminescent dust that streamed out into the night breeze to be scattered across Equestria.
Twilight was too stunned for a moment to realize what had happened. The first thing she noticed was that her aging body no longer ached. She felt young again. She felt better than young. She felt stronger than she ever had. She had become accustomed to always being tired, but now she felt tireless. Most of all, she could feel the Alicorn magic inside of her. It was so powerful she was terrified that it would burn her up from the inside.
She began frantically turning her head every which way to get a good look at her body. She let out a stifled screech when she saw that she had a violet pair of feathered wings, tinged a dark purple near the edges. They were bigger than most Pegasi’s wings as well.
Her coat, mane and tail once again had a youthful luster, and even a glimmering of the divine. Twilight looked up and saw that her horn was significantly longer than before, as well as pointier. The floor seemed further away than it had a moment ago. She was taller, almost as tall as Luna. Her legs were long and her body was sleek, changed from the short stout frame of a Pony.
Twilight’s mind was racing, trying to take in her radical transformation and its consequences, when there was a flash of light behind her.
Celestia had teleported into the room, no doubt sensing the powerful spell that had been used. The sight of Twilight as an Alicorn rendered her speechless.
“I’m sorry!” Twilight said, tears streaming down her face. She was terrified her teacher would hold her responsible for Cadence’s demise. “I’m so so sorry! I didn’t know what she was going to do! I didn’t ask for this! I didn’t want her to die! I begged her not to! I’m sorry Princess! Please, please don’t hate me!”
Celestia slowly sat herself down. She held out her forelimbs, and Twilight raced into them. They embraced each other tightly. As Celestia shushed Twilight while stroking her mane with her hoof, Twilight became aware that Celestia was crying as well.
But they were tears of joy.
“Don’t feel guilty, My Little Pony,” Celestia consoled her. “This was Cadence’s choice, and it was hers to make. She’s with Shining Armor now, and happier than she ever would have been in this world again. It’s far better this way. Your hooves are clean in this, do you understand?”
Twilight nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes.
“But promise me Twilight, promise me that you’ll never do what Cadence just did. Promise me that you’ll always be my most faithful student. Promise that you’ll stay with me forever. Promise me.”
Twilight smiled at her teacher.
“I promise Princess,” she nodded, and nuzzled Celestia's neck lovingly.
The ancient Sun Goddess gently cradled the newborn immortal, as any mother would to her child. Her love for Twilight, which she had forced herself not to feel more and more as the Unicorn aged, suddenly overwhelmed her. She felt like a new mother, overcome with love and gratitude and awe over her perfect, precious child.
She stared in wonder at the brilliant, beautiful, magical daughter that was now hers for all eternity. An eternity that now seemed considerably brighter.
"I love you, Twilight Sparkle. I will love you forever," Celestia promised, smiling at her child.
"I love you too Princess, forever and always," Twilight replied.
And thus ended the mortal life of the Crystal Princess Mi Amori Cadenza, Goddess of Love, and began the immortal life of the Evening Princess Twilight Sparkle, Goddess of Magic, and Friendship.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this story, then please check out my other Fimfic, Sanctity of Life. You can also check out my blog sanctumofvespertine.blogspot.ca, or tweet me at twitter.com/CaptainRorrick.
So in light of the Season 3 Finale, I've added an Alternate Universe tag to this fic, and I've revised it a little to make it clearer that Twilight is still a Unicorn in the beginning. To be perfectly honest, I prefer my way of Twilight becoming an Alicorn. But I guess when you're friends you can't always have things exactly your way all the time. This fic wouldn't be appropriate for a kid's show anyway.
The pic for this story isn't mine, it was done by fongsaunder on deviantart. It is used with permission.
Keep calm and wait for season four my friends.
