Until You Decide To Wake Up.
“Mornin' sugarcube.”
Rainbow Dash smiled as she lingered on the edge of sleep. The best part of waking up every morning was that sweet melodic voice, especially when it was soft and sultry like it was this morning. Rainbow stretched with a yawn, kicking the covers off and forcing them to the foot of the bed. Finally opening her eyes and still wearing her contented grin, Dash was greeted by two dazzling emerald orbs and a kind smile, an echo of her own. The demure farm pony's golden locks draped down ticking her nose, rousing her into the waking world at the Sweet Apple Acres farmstead.
“Mornin'.”
“Ya gonna get up, or are ya gonna sleep the day away?” Applejack teased as she leaned in over the rainbow mare sprawled across the bed.
“Depends,” Rainbow replied with a sly smirk as she rose to meet AJ's lips before she pulled just out of reach. “Oh, come on. Don't tease me.”
“Oh alright sugarcube, don't get yer feathers ruffled.”
AJ leaned forward, rewarding the cyan mare with a nuzzle on the cheek before kissing her with amorous conviction. Rainbows wings flared, her feathers tingling as she surrendered, allowing Applejack to push her back down onto the mattress.
She shuddered as her companion released, following the flavor of the retreating apple laden breath as she tried to continue the embrace. Dash shrank back opening her eyes as AJ giggled at her eagerness and loss of composure, her cheeks turning various shades of pink then red as they flushed with heat.
“Alright lover girl, what do ya say we get goin'?” Applejack chuckled as she turned and made her way to the mirror.
“You're such a tease...” Dash moaned, swinging her legs over the edged of the bed. “Why do you always tie your hair up? You look totally amazing with it down.”
“Cuz it just ain't practical out here on the farm. It'd just get in the way all the time.”
“Yeah... but we're not always on the farm. What about when we go hang out in town or when you're not working?”
“C'mon RD, you know Ah ain't one to fuss over getting myself all dolled up. It's just easier this way,” Applejack stated flatly as she finished with her ponytail. Donning her faded hallmark stetson, she turned to face Rainbow. “And besides, it ain't like ya got much room to talk there, Bedhead. Ya look like ya done tussled with a timber wolf last night.”
“Maybe I did.” Dash retorted coyly. She knew exactly what she was doing and couldn't help but grin as she riled the orange farmer.
“Are you implying Ah'm a timber wolf?” AJ asked, furrowing her brows.
“Maybe I am.”
This was a game Dash played almost every morning, trying to goad the apple farmer into procrastinating and instead indulging in a bit of pleasure. Occasionally it worked. Most mornings however, it ended in failure.
“Oh no ya don't. You ain't getting me roped into any of that this mornin', even if ya used rope. We got things that need done 'fore we gotta be in town to meet Twi n' the gang.”
Rainbow huffed in disappointment at her lack of success, “Fine. Can we get something to eat then? I'm starving.”
“Ya missed breakfast sugarcube,” AJ answered sheepishly. “Ah tried wakin' ya but ya just moaned and kept tryin' to swat me with yer hoof. Don't worry though, Ah made sure to save ya some,” she said with a nod and a wink as she trotted out the door.
Dash frowned at the thought of another cold breakfast, as that had quickly become the norm since she started staying at Sweet Apple Acres on a semi-regular basis. “I really need to start getting up earlier,” she thought, making a mental note before following.
….....................................................................
Walking across the farmyard towards the barn Rainbow's stomach let out an audibly dissatisfied growl.
“How was breakfast?” Applejack inquired, looking back over her shoulder at the pegasus following her.
“Cold.”
“Well Ah'm sorry, but ya got nopony but yerself to blame.”
She knew AJ was right but it didn't make her any feel any better about it. As they reached the barn Applejack worked the latched and pushed the doors open as they groaned under the strain of their own weight.
“Ah got a spot of waterin' to do n' Ah reckon with yer help, it should go pretty quick.”
“You know, Ponyville is scheduled for a rain shower later this week. So why bother?”
“Cuz rain tomorrow ain't gonna help with a crop that's parched n' needs it today.”
Normally Dash didn't hang around too long once AJ got started on chores, but if she didn't have anything of her own going on she would occasionally lend a hoof. Especially when it was something she excelled at, or if the chore served to fuel their rivalry and competitive nature. When neither was the case, Rainbow was content just to watch while she drifted by on the zephyrs through the afternoon. The times when she felt devious, she took to napping in an apple tree where she knew she would be discovered for no other purpose than to drive Applejack crazy. Watering though, was a perfect job for a weather pony and it offered her a chance to showboat her talents as well as possibly dabble in a little mischief.
Soon Applejack had hitched herself to a cart loaded with a large reservoir and brimming full with water. Rainbow Dash eyed the contraption, slightly intimidated by what, in her mind, was to be her competition. An array of valves, pulleys and cables allowed for control, and off either side of the back of the cart was a spout to direct flow, allowing two trees to be quenched simultaneously. She would have work fast if she wanted to win or even keep pace.
“Big Mac came up with it,” Applejack said, beaming with pride and derailing Dash's train of thought. “He may be quiet, but he's got more going on in that big brain of his than ya'd think. Ah reckon there's a few subjects he'd even give Twilight a run fer her money.”
“Pfft. You think you can keep up with that pile of scrap? Please, I'll have the whole orchard done before you even get to the end of the first row of apple trees.” Silently she was kicking herself for letting her ego get the best of her again and issuing such a brazen challenge.
Cocking an eyebrow, AJ offered her rebuttal, “Oh yeah? Ya wanna put yer bits where yer mouth is sugarcube?”
With a hard gulp, Rainbow swallowed the lump in her throat, “Uhhh... Yeah! You know what? Let's make it interesting. If I win-”
“Hold on there. Let's keep it a surprise, but the loser has to give the winner somethin'. Not just anythin' though, it's gotta be somethin' special to 'em.”
“Done!”
“Pardner, ya got yerself a deal,” AJ confirmed, spitting on her hoof and extending it to ratify their wager.
Dash returned the gesture, and with a groan the watering wagon lurched forward. While AJ made her slow march towards to grove they would be working, she took to the sky to round up the necessary rain clouds for the job, spacing them out where she would need them. Once she had returned, they began to make their final preparations.
“Now don't ya go underwatering to try n' get ahead.”
“Please AJ,” Rainbow said rolling her eyes. “Like I even need to cheat to beat you. Not saying I would! Or that I do!”
“Relax RD, Ah'm just hecklin' ya a bit,” Applejack chortled, making a slight adjustment to her harness.
“I-I knew that. So you think you can keep up slow poke? Or are you gonna eat my dust?” Dash jeered, folding her forelegs across her chest as she lazily flapped next to her opponent.
“This ain't my first rodeo pardner. Reckon Ah'm ready when you are,” AJ grinned as she faced forward and pulled down on the brim of her hat.
Both ponies took up their positions on opposite ends of the orchard, and with a mutual nod they were off. Rainbow had the obvious advantage in speed but she lacked the efficiency of Applejack's wagon. She just needed to focus and not waste any time between clouds. Making her way down her first line, Rainbow Dash worked to find an acceptable pace. The first cloud had just ran dry as she made her return down her second row. Dispatching it with a quick kick she dove for a replacement, feeling confident about her progress.
That was until she saw AJ beginning to make her second pass and the cart was only picking up speed as it emptied its precious cargo, effectively putting her behind. Rainbow's reprieve came as she witnessed the farmer leaving the field with an empty tank.
“This is my chance! This is where I'm gonna win this!” Seizing the opportunity, she took the lead just as her rival was making her re-entry into the contest with a full reservoir, the water spilling over as it sloshed back and forth. “She's back already!? How!?” Gritting her teeth Dash pushed herself to maintain her rapidly shrinking lead. Once again she had fallen behind but she knew, inevitably AJ would need a refill and there was only a few rows left to go.
Just as anticipated, Applejack was once again crossing the gate to top off. Nabbing another cloud, Dash began her last couple of passes. AJ was back by at this point and turning down her final aisle of trees. The cloud disintegrated under the abuse as she strained to beat every bit of precipitation out of the it that she could, causing Rainbow Dash to tumble head over hooves and letting out a surprised yelp as she reached the end of her final stand of trees.
Recovering from her self induced somersault, she quickly spun around. Firstly, to make sure nopony had seen or heard her less than graceful acrobatics. Secondly, to determine if she had managed to pull out a victory. Upon seeing Applejack only halfway down her final stretch of the course, Dash couldn't help but grin ear to ear and pump her hoof in triumph whilst stifling any cheers that rose up.
Silently snagging one last cloud she snuck up behind the farm pony, drenched in sweat from her efforts. Just as the wagon rolled to a stop Dash bucked the cloud, ripping it open and draining its contents in a torrential downpour.
“Consarn it!”
Unable to hold it in any longer, Rainbow Dash was in stitches as she collapsed on the cloud in a fit of uproarious laughter. “Bwahahaha! You should-hahaha! see-heh! your face!” she spit out between ragged breaths.
Venturing a peek over the edge of her sanctuary Dash was met by the cold, stern glare of her friend below as she unfastened the cinch that bound her to the wagon.
“Oh c'mon, lighten up. You needed a bath anyways. And besides, you look good soaking wet.”
Applejack's scowl curved into a knowing smirk under her drooping brown stetson as she shook off the excess water. “Reckon Ah did. Now why don't ya fly down here and collect yer winnings.”
With that, Rainbow bailed over the edge of her perch, spreading her wings and gliding down to land in front of her best friend. “So what do I win?”
“Close yer eyes.”
“Is that really necessary?”
“Go on, close 'em.”
Rainbow Dash sighed in resignation as she complied, clenching her eyes tightly shut. Her mind began wandering as to what her prize could be. After all, AJ didn't bring anything out with them, nothing of value anyways. Starting to think she had made a mistake by agreeing to allow the award to remain anonymous, Dash settled for the fact that it would probably be just another kiss. Not that she didn't mind, she loved the sweet taste of apples that always accompanied a kiss from Applejack. It was that she simply had hoped they had been competing for something more tangible.
“No peakin'.”
“I ain't gonna peak.”
Bracing herself, she began to pucker her lips in anticipation as she listened to the farm pony's breathing, feeling her get closer. Rather than her lovers embrace, she was instead greeted with the scent of watered down sweat, dirt, and apples as her trophy was hung on the end of her nose.
“What the hay?” As she opened her eyes, on the end of her muzzle was a very familiar and sacred object, and beyond that stood Applejack offering a shy smile and sincere adoration, her cheeks afire with diffidence causing her freckles to stand out more noticeably in contrast. She gently removed it from the end of her face and cradled it against her chest. “AJ... This is your hat.”
“Ah know sugarcube. It's yer hat now. Ah want ya to have it. It'd mean an awful lot if ya'd take care of it fer me.”
“AJ, I... I can't accept this.”
“That ol' hat is a big part of who Ah am. There ain't a pony alive Ah'd even consider givin' it to, 'cept fer ya, hope that shows ya how much ya mean to me. Ah s'pose by lettin' ya hang on to it... Well as long as Ah have one, Ah'll have the other won't Ah?”
Looking down at the hat then back up at Applejack, a mixture of pride, wonder, and amenability surged through Rainbow as she understood the trust that had been bestowed upon her. Her heart fluttered, overwhelmed by her emotions and new responsibility.
“This... I don't know what to say...”
“Ya don't have to say anything at all. What do ya say we take a break? We got plenty of time 'fore we gotta be in town to meet the girls.”
Sweeping her prismatic mane aside, Dash, with some measure of reverence, adorned herself with her most precious and recently acquired possession. Satisfied that she had situated it properly, she trotted after the farmer who was making her way to the shade under the nearest apple tree.
Once Applejack had reached her destination, she plopped down and patted the ground next to her as she leaned against the trunk of the tree, “Pull up some real estate RD.”
She didn't need the invitation but she obliged the request. Sitting down Dash stretched her legs out with an exaggerated yawn, “Now this, is more like it.”
Once she had settled in, Applejack laid her head in Rainbow's lap. Automatically, Dash draped her wing across her partner, blanketing her against the gentle breeze.
“That hat looks good on you,” Applejack said approvingly as she pulled the ribbon from her mane.
“Thanks AJ... I really mean that, thanks for everything.”
“Yer welcome sugarcube. Reckon Ah oughta be thankin' ya too. Ya've been a big help around here, even if it is like pulling teeth from a rattle snake to get ya off yer flank at times.”
Rainbow smirked as she snorted with feigned indignation, “So you're just keeping me around for cheap labor?”
“Darn straight! It's mighty convenient havin' a pegasus pony around,” AJ teased, poking Dash with a hoof. “In all honesty though, really it's just nice havin' somepony to relate too. All Ah want are the simple things, somepony Ah can run with, who aint afraid of gettin' dirty n' have some fun doin' it. Who's maybe a bit stubborn with a mind of their own, but at the end of the day, be there fer me to hold n' be strong enough to hold me when Ah need it. Makes a difference Ah got a thing fer pegasus,” she added as an afterthought, winking up at the rainbow mare.
“Guess I'm the total package then huh? All that and a bushel of apples,” Dash said coyly, grinning and flexing her muscles.
“Don't flatter yerself too much, but yeah, ya fit the bill,” AJ snickered before assuming a more pensive tone. “Ah don't rightly know what all ya see in me though. Seems to me, having a marefriend that's always stuck on the ground would be a hindrance fer a pegasus, especially the fastest pegasus in Equestria. Plenty of other ponies that'd be clamorin' fer ya, can't say there's anythin' special about me.”
“I don't know. I mean our other friends are great. Fluttershy and I grew up together, but it would drive me crazy holding myself back just so she could keep up. Twilight got me into books, Celestia forbid she's turning me into an egghead, but shes not competitive, like at all. Pinkie Pie is... Sometimes it's nice to have somepony who you can be serious with. And Rarity? I got nothing.”
“Where's that leave me? Ain't it holdin' ya back, seein' as Ah can't fly?”
“No, not at all. I mean, yeah, it would be cool if you could but you don't need to. You're the only pony athletic enough to keep up with me, and your not afraid of anything. Your always the first one to lend a hoof or take charge when things are bad. Yeah, you can be a pain in the flank, but you keep me grounded.” Rainbow paused for a moment, cursing her poor choice of words and smacking herself on the forehead. “What I mean is you call me on my bull and you don't let me push you around. You keep me honest.”
A brief silence followed before Dash spoke again, brushing AJ's golden mane with her hoof as it cascaded across her lap, “Pretty sappy huh?”
“Nah, it's real sweet of ya.”
“Just don't go spreading it around, or I'll have to deny everything.”
“Don't worry, yer secret's safe with me sugarcube,” AJ chuckled as she reached up to stroke her lovers face in reassurance.
Another pause followed as both were content to just listen to the wind rustle through the trees carrying their spirits with it.
“Where do you see this going RD? Where do you see us?”
“I don't know. Old age, lots of gray hair.”
“Ya better not go losin' yer color on me.”
“Of course I won't. I was talking about you.”
“If Ah start getting' gray hairs, it's from puttin' up with you.”
“Yeah, it's pretty tough being as awesome as I am all the time,” Rainbow said as they both giggled. “I guess we'll go wherever life takes us, come whatever may you know?”
“Ah like that,” Applejack cooed, settling in and closing her eyes. “Come what may RD. Come what may.”
Letting her eyelids droop, Dash took a deep breath as she relaxed, drifting towards sleep, “All I know is this is a dream I never wanna wake up from.”
…...................................................................................................
“Rainbow Dash!”
“Rainbow Dash, wake up!”
The blue pegasus flailed her waking limbs as she was jolted from her nap. “Oh hey Twilight. Sup?” she greeted the purple unicorn nonchalantly, pretending that she hadn't just been startled out of her wits.
“What are you doing out here?” Twilight scolded. “You were suppose to be at the library an hour ago.”
“What? Wait, where's Applejack? Why didn't she wake me up?” she asked as she picked herself up from her place under the apple tree.
Planting her hoof to her forehead, an exasperated sigh passed Twilight's lips. “Not again,” she grumbled.
“Hey, I'm sorry. It's not like I did it on purpose.”
“Let's just get going,” she said as she turned in the direction of town.
Rainbow arched her back, stretching out her legs and giving her wings a quick snap to straighten any stray feather before catching up to the irked mare. Soon the two were sauntering off down the old dirt road into Ponyville.
“You're not mad at me are you Twilight?” Dash inquired playfully.
“No, I guess not,” she relented.
“Good, cuz that would not be cool. AJ must already be at the library then?”
The only response she got was another sigh as Twilight hung her head to the ground.
“What gives? Why are you acting so weird?”
“Please, no more question until we get to the library?”
“I don't understand why you can't just tell me what's going on.”
“Please Rainbow?”
“Fine,” she huffed as her mood plummeted from playful and upbeat to irritable and annoyed.
The remainder of their journey passed in silence until they reached the town. As they approached the library Rainbow's scowl faded and was replaced with a brazen smile, not noticing the pain engraving itself into Twilight's face as she hid it well. If she, she would have realized that something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.
As the door swung open, the pair was not greeted by the cheer and festivities Dash had come to expect from one of Pinkie's parties. Instead, they were met by the sober expressions of their friends, bearing varying degrees of sympathy and concern. Stepping inside Rainbow Dash once again reverted from blithe to annoyance.
“Seriously you guys, what gives? Why are you all acting like somepony died? Whatever it is, I swear I had nothing to do with it. And where's Applejack, why isn't she here?”
She was baffled by what happened next as Pinkie Pie began bawling in a heap on the floor, flooding the wood with salty tears. Rarity wrapped a hoof around Pinkie's neck to console the broken party pony and Fluttershy began backing away into the corner away from the scene.
“What's going on guys?” Dash repeated as panic gripped her, her voice cracking.
Taking up next to her Twilight motioned towards a couch, adjacent a couple of chairs and a small simple coffee table, “Please take a seat Rainbow. Fluttershy, can you come sit down too please? We need you for this.”
“Okay...” The butter hued pegasus whimpered in reply as she forced herself against her own will to leave the safety of the corner. She sulked towards to the closest seat, the chair placed at the end of the couch nearest the wall.
Taking her place on the end of the sofa nearest the door Rainbow hesitantly sat down. Something wasn't right and she wanted the easiest and shortest route of escape. Twilight sat in the chair directly across from her. The other two joined, taking up one end of the couch. Rarity was still trying to comfort the pink mare, her own vibrant white coat dulled and streaked where Pinkie's tears had etched trails into it. As the sobs died down into a case of sniffles Dash fractured the tension looming in the stale air only for it to seep into and fill the void her question created.
“Wh-Where's Applejack?” Her tone morose.
A maddening and brief silence.
“That's why were here Rainbow...”
“Did something happen!? Is she okay?” she blurted out, interrupting Twilight.
“That's just it... There is no Applejack.”
“What!?”
“What Twilight is trying to say darling, is that Applejack... doesn't exist,” Rarity interjected as she stared at the azure mare, her eyes exuding hurt, pleading for her to accept what was spoken.
Rainbow crinkled her nose in indignation, “This isn't funny anymore! If this is your idea of a joke then I don't want anything to do with it. Applejack, I am so not helping you with any crummy chores if you're in on this!” she shouted calling her friends bluff. But no amount of bluffing or guile was to be revealed by the pained expressions gazing back at her. Slowly, icy claws of uncertainty began to stab at the corners of her mind.
“Dash, you have believe us... She-Applejack is only in your mind. You created her,” Twilight implored with haunting sincerity.
“Please Dashie, we miss you! We just want you back!” Pinkie croaked, trying to dry her eyes with a hoof as she began to sob again.
“What are you talking about? I've been here the whole time, I haven't gone anywhere. And if Applejack doesn't exist than just who runs Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Sweet Apple Acres?”
“Uhh, yeah?” she said rolling her eyes and crossing her forelegs across her chest. “You know the apple farm on the edge of town? Where everypony gets their apples from? The one I was napping on when you came and woke me up to pull this lame prank?”
“Rainbow, the only apple farm in town is Flim Flam Fields.”
“Are you kidding? We ran those crooks out of town a long time ago. Why don't you just drop this weak charade?”
“Do you honestly belief I would partake in such crude and boorish games? Such horrid behavior, it's unbefitting a lady such as myself.” Rarity prompted, flipping her perfectly curled amethyst mane in emphasis.
Rainbow Dash knew she was right. Rarity was never one for pranks, especially ones as tasteless as this. A tingle crept up her spine as she began to further foster her own doubts, allowing for the possibility that what her friends were saying might be true. Her uncertainty was abated with a flash of anger as she stood up, refusing to believe any such equivocation.
“This is stupid! Honesty my hoof,” she muttered to herself as she made a deliberate march towards the kitchen. Upon breaching the threshold she stopped to scan the unoccupied room. “Where are you Applejack? This has gone to far.”
Not satisfied by the lack of response, she returned to the other room where her friends had risen from their seats and were making their way to follow her tirade.
“Rainbow. Stop, please.”
Ignoring their presence or the fact they were trying to talk to her, she walked straight past them on her way up the stairs, the only room left to check. Entering the bedroom, a stack of books toppled onto the floor as she callously brushed past the table they had been precariously perched on. Inciting Twilight's anger with her disregard she was stopped dead in her tracks.
“Rainbow Dash! Would you just listen to us?”
Whipping around she bore down on her friends, her eyes smoldering with fury, “Why should I!?”
“Because we're trying to help you!”
“Yeah you guys are real helpful! Don't know what I'd ever do without your help!”
“Dashie, please stop!” Pinkie was a blubbering mess on the floor, soaking in a pool of her own tears. She was devoid of any vibrance, the tufts and curls of her pink mane were instead slicked in a sickeningly flat sheet.
“Rainbow, you're being simply abhorrent. Can't you see you're hurting your friends,” Rarity scolded. Her words were the hammer that drove home the dagger that Pinkie's wretched state had sunk into her chest.
“But-”
Fluttershy who had remained quiet through the entire conversation, pensively biting her lip and fighting back tears of her own, finally broke the barrier of shyness that had been keeping her silent. What she said came crashing down like an avalanche on the distraught pegasus, relentlessly burying her under the weight of her words.
“She doesn't exist! She's a figment of your imagination! There never was an Applejack! She-I...” she stumbled as she began to shrink away unable to make eye contact, “I-oh Rainbow. I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't... Please... I'm sorry!” Finally bursting into tears Fluttershy fled down the stairs.
“Fluttershy! Wait!” Rainbow begged as tears of her own welled up.
The slam of the door signaled her departure though her cries could still be heard before fading into the distance.
“Fluttershy... I... What's happening?” Dash murmured, her ardent pride imploding after Fluttershy had abashed any defiance or fire she had left. Her chest heaved as tears began to stream from the corners of her eyes and spatter on the floor.
She was startled by the sudden embrace of Pinkie Pie but at this point it wasn't unwelcomed. Her friends that remained soon joined before releasing her.
“I'm so sorry Rainbow. I know it's been hard ever since the accident.”
An insufferable silence poisoned the air.
“Accident?”
Twilight sighed as though an immense and unseeable weight had been placed upon her chest, “It was almost a year ago. You were in charge of the weather team responsible for getting water up to Cloudsdale. When the tornado broke up the second time...”
“No. We made it the second time. Everything worked out. In fact if it wasn't for Fluttershy-”
“I know that's what you want to believe, but it's not what happened. You were approaching the wing power needed but it was too much for Fluttershy. When she was thrown from the tornado, you only saw her as she the ground. You stopped and tried to get to her but you collided with another flyer... The funnel was ripped apart from there.”
“How is that possible?” Rainbow demanded. “That doesn't make sense, I was there. I know what happened.” She couldn't possibly believe what Twilight was saying was true.
“I know it's difficult darling, but you were unconscious in the hospital for a week. Pinkie stayed with you and Fluttershy the entire time,” Rarity added.
“It's true. I brought you balloons, and flowers, and cupcakes every day. I'd sing you songs... Don't you remember?” Pinkie pleaded through glassy blue eyes.
“No... I'm sorry.”
“Fluttershy got the worst of it. It was almost a month before she finally woke up. You never left her side. The whole time though all you could talk about was somepony named Applejack. You kept going on about how she would never let anypony down, and how she was always their for her friends, putting them above her own safety and how you promised you would be like that. You began inserting her into everything we've ever done. You created an entire persona for her, even describing what she looks like. You even made a family for her.”
Dash looked up from the floor where she had been staring, wishing she could sink through the cracks. She knew what she felt but she couldn't find the words to say and instead stared at Twilight who gazed back with earnest, sorrowful eyes. All she could do was shiver as her heartbeat shallowed to little more than a quiver and her stomach twisted and churned under duress.
Another agonizing moment of acidic silence.
“Is that true? Please tell me it's not true. She's real, I know she's real!” Her conviction wavered. “Was Fluttershy really hurt that badly?”
Twilight had finally cracked herself, tears beginning to carve valleys into her tired features, “The doctors said it was just a coping mechanism, that there wasn't any real or permanent damage. That eventually it would stop on its own. At first it wasn't so bad, but eventually you started to disappear for days on end. Then it got worse. You began forgetting things... things like this being the third time we've intervened like this. Once you washed out at the Wonderbolt Academy...”
“What do you mean I washed out!? This has happened before!?”
“Yes dear, but we're you're friends. We don't think any less of you, and we are only here to help. We wouldn't dream of leaving you to deal with any of this on your own,” Rarity answered in a wavering tone. She looked terrible. Her mascara had run, leaving black blotchy smudges where her hooves had smeared it when drying her eyes. Her mane had no semblance of its former pristine condition as her curls frayed and the loose strands stuck out, adding to her disheveled appearance.
“I just want you to be happy Dash. I know you're sad but I don't know how to help. I've tried and tried but I can't make you smile anymore.” Pinkie was the worst. She looked just as drained of life as Rainbow and she couldn't help but feel responsible. She didn't even want to imagine what kind of condition Fluttershy was in.
“Fluttershy has taken it the worst. She blames herself for everything, that if it hadn't have been for her, none of this would have happened. She hurts more than any of us knowing you watched over her while she was in the hospital.” Another pang of guilt struck a chord, forcing her to wince as the words stung her ears. “This may be the third time, but that doesn't make it any easier. If anything, it keeps getting harder.”
“What do I do?” Rainbow choked, stripped of any dignity. She had been mentally, emotionally, and physically battered, bruised, and broken. Wanting nothing more at that moment than to stop existing, Dash buried her face in her hooves, utterly defeated.
Unable to hold back any longer she burst into tears, her wailing cries were unsettling and unworldly. Her friends could only watch her spiraling descent into hell through disjointed, uneven breaths and gurgling sobs. Shamed by their guilt at how they had become desensitized to the tortured soul in front of them by the simple repetition of events, they merely gazed on nursing their own hurt.
“What do I do!?” Dash shrieked as she finally looked up at the ponies in front of her, desperate for some measure of solace or respite.
“Go to the hospital. Tomorrow morning. I already made the appointment. They can help you. They can treat you, and they have therapists who can help you remember. I promise, we'll go with you.” The apathy in Twilight's voice still held some piece of sincerity.
“Yeah... sure...”
“I can't imagine what you're going through Rainbow, but I promise we'll do everything we can to help you get better. If you ever need anything, we will always be there for you. Come what may,” Twilight said, wearing a timid smile for the first time that day.
Come what may? Something had clicked in Rainbow's head. She didn't know what, but she had to find out, “Guys?” she squeaked, wiping the moisture from her eyes, “Is it okay if I go? I kinda wanna be alone right now.”
“Are-are you sure? You're really not in any shape to be on your own right now. You can always stay the night here, I'd feel better if you did,” Twilight said, voicing her concern.
“Yeah, I'll be fine. I promise I'll be ready to go to the hospital in the morning.”
“It doesn't feel right leaving you alone right now.”
“I'm fine.”
“If you're sure...”
“I'm sure.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
Wobbling slightly, Rainbow Dash rose to her hooves with silent resolve. There was one last place she needed to go to get some answers. Something she had to find out for herself. She didn't know what would be waiting for her, but she knew she'd find exactly what she needed. Making her way towards the balcony with a slow and somber gait, Dash contemplated everything that had happened and what she was about to do.
Facing her friends who had followed her out for the last time, she spoke, “Thanks. I love you guys, and I'm glad I have friends like you.”
“Of course Darling.”
“That's what friends for silly.”
“Just be careful Dash.”
Without another word, she took flight and headed west. The definitive truth she needed would be found at Sweet Apple Acres. She chased the red sun down as dusk loomed behind her. Rainbow closed her eyes, feeling the cool evening air ruffle her feathers as she glided on the breeze. It was soothing, and a much needed reprieve from the chaotic events that had turned her life upside down earlier that day. Flying wasn't just a way to relieve stress, but it was a way for her to free her soul and forget her troubles no matter how great or small.
The familiar and refreshing scent of apples invigorated her as she neared her destination. The sun had finally melted into the horizon, exploding in a final defiant spectra of deep crimson diffusing into a gentle shade of peach before unveiling the star studded night sky. The spectacle manifested in the back of Dash's mind, a final bastion of hope.
As she reached the homestead, what little faith she still harbored was dashed upon seeing the sign over the front gate read “Flim Flam Fields.”
No. How? It can't be true. This doesn't make sense. Running on reserves, she summoned the last of her courage. She had to knock on the door to be certain. Landing on the front step she steeled herself against what she might find, “Here goes nothing.”
-Knock, knock-
The sounds of clattering dishes and chairs groaning as they were scooted across the floor preceded the fateful hoofsteps that drummed in Rainbow's ears. Silence reigned for but a moment before the iron latch on the door clicked as it was rotated. Light flooded through the opening, blinding the pegasus and forcing her to shield her eyes. A dark silhouette adorned with a hat was all she could make out.
“Why look what we have here, oh brother of mine!”
Her heart sank.
“Well if it isn't our favorite rainbow maned customer!”
“What brings you about at such an hour?”
“Eager for cider season and here for our off-season wares no doubt!”
“But of course! She practically buys us out lock, stock, and barrel every year!”
“So what'll it be? Single barrel? Or special reserve?”
Flim and Flam. No matter how she tried to convince herself, she was not prepared to see those two.
“Uhh, nothing... Thanks.”
“Suit yourself!”
“Remember, the cider always flows at Flim Flam Fields!” they chimed in unison.
The door swung shut with a clack of the latch, leaving Rainbow in the dark both inside and out. She trudged off in no particular direction lost in her thoughts with not even the will to fly. Were her friends right? Was Applejack just her sick little fantasy?
“Oh Applejack... Am I really going crazy? Why can't I remember? I'm losing myself here.”
Dwelling back on her friends and their visceral reactions, she wondered. Had she really been hurting them all that much? And Fluttershy... Was it her fault for pushing her so hard? What had she been doing for months on end? All should could recall was her time with Applejack.
She winced. Was she really that fragile?
The final pieces of her conversation with Twilight crept into her thoughts. Could the doctors really help her get better, and just what did “treatment” entail? Was there something even wrong with her in the first place? Judging by the days events, the obvious answer was yes. But if that were true, what could a therapist help her remember? Things that never happened? Twilight's last words came.
“Come what may,” Rainbow uttered at the ground. Her rage boiled to the surface once more, “That was suppose to mean something!”
Dash finally took notice to her surrounding and found her hooves had carried her into a grove of apple trees. Seeking some release from her anguish she charged the nearest tree and laid into it with all her fury, punching it with her hooves.
“This is stupid! Why am I so stupid!? What's wrong with me!? This is so stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”
Rainbow Dash continued her relentless assault, the bark splintering under the barrage. Her attacks slowed as exhaustion set in, causing her muscles to ache with fatigue. When she couldn't bring herself to swing on the defenseless tree anymore she stumbled backwards, weary and panting heavily to fill her burning lungs. Nothing could save her from her torment save some cosmic pardon.
Tripping, she felt as though she was falling into a hole, into the back end of forever, the dizzying world spinning around her. Rainbow slammed against a tree. Something had crumpled underneath her, cushioning her fall. Propping herself up against the trunk, she reached beneath her to investigate what she had landed on.
Robbed of her breath by what she discovered, it only served to stir more questions. There, in her hooves, was an abused and worn brown stetson with the all too familiar scent of apples, earth, and perspiration.
Rainbow closed her eyes and clutched the hat tightly against her chest. None of those questions mattered. Not the doctors, or what her friends said. None of it did. All that mattered was the hat. That's what was real to her.
“As long as I have one... I'll have the other. Won't I?”
Dash tightly tucked herself into a ball, shielding her treasure from the cruel and sadistic world that surrounded them. Laying there under the nurturing canopy of the apple trees Rainbow's breathing became shallow, her heart slowed to a peaceful steady rhythm. The din of her thoughts was quieted, being replaced with the peaceful sound of silence.
“I just wanna wake up from this dream,” she mumbled as she lulled on the edge of consciousness.
She was waking up.
“Mornin' sugarcube.”
Author's Note
On this canvas we call life
Your figure paints my sleep
Between the fairy tales and reality
Won't you help me guide my dreams?
Tell me this is all it seems?
If you're still here when I wake up
Then this will have been real to me
