My Final Friendship Report
Dearest Princess Celestia,
As you are already aware, I have had the pleasure of spending these past few months in your country. Your little ponies have taught me so much, and I daresay I’ve taught them a thing or two.
I didn’t quite know what to expect when I arrived here. Your land had always been depicted as full of love and tolerance, but how would everypony react to such a strange, foreign creature suddenly roaming about their home? I know that if we humans were faced with such a situation, we would react dangerously. We fear the unknown, and fear has been known to warp humans like the hypnotic eyes of the one you call Discord.
I appeared at Ponyville, the Equestrian civilization most familiar to my kind. By “my kind,” I mean bronies. We are humans, but unlike most others we are in touch with a kind of…connection with your world. We regularly view, discuss, and celebrate the escapades of your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, and her friends. We believe it to be a fictional show created solely for our entertainment, which explains my confusion upon being brought to this allegedly “made-up” land. It is a recurring kind of joke among us to depict ourselves, as humans, being brought here as I have been. Never did I think I would be the one to live out a real “human-in-Equestria fic.”
The ponies here welcomed me almost as if I was any other pony. They had many questions for me, of course, but none more so than Twilight. She wanted to know all about me, my species, my homeland, and I found it hard to keep up with her constant inquiries.
Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack seemed more wary of me than the other Elements of Harmony. Fluttershy, I think, was afraid of me at first, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack were merely unsure of letting such a mysterious stranger around their friends. It didn’t take long for them to warm up to me, though, and soon, after a few over-the-top parties thrown by (Guess who?) Pinkie Pie, I became a friend to everypony in Ponyville.
It seemed like a dream come true. For such a long time had I fawned over Equestria and its inhabitants, I was finally able to live out my most wonderful fantasies: brewing potions with Zecora, harvesting apples at Sweet Apple Acres, helping the Cutie Mark Crusaders on their quest to earn their marks, and so much more. I stayed with Twilight and Spike in the library, where, after a day or two, she wrote to you about my presence. To tell the honest-to-Applejack truth, Your Highness, I was afraid at first. I had no idea what would happen when we got to Canterlot. Would you be angry that I had breached your borders? Would you send me back?
You didn’t though; I recall you seeming a bit shocked at my arrival. It was hard to read what you were thinking. I remember you smiled, asked my name and a few other questions, wished me a warm welcome to Equestria, and sent us on our way.
We never really made the effort to send me back to the human world. Sometimes my new friends would ask me about my old home and whether or not I missed it, but I usually tried my best to evade the question. I didn’t want to think about the world I came from. I only wanted to think about the world I was in, the world I wanted to be part of.
Humans are almost nothing like ponies. Aside from physical differences, we’re prone to conflict. Our history is full of war and bloodshed, and the eras yet to come hold more war and bloodshed for us. The thing that makes me sick is how much innocent blood we spill on a daily basis. We can’t go a day without a battle, somewhere in the world. But what upsets me the most is that there is nothing we can do about it.
Ponies do not fight each other as we do. They are loving and tolerant of everything around them, and as they take from each other, they give as well. Human decency like that is getting rarer and rarer, and we’ve even managed to taint nature along with ourselves. It’s hard to find something that isn’t war-torn or destined for it. In your world, it’s hard to find something that is.
I didn’t want to leave Equestria. I didn’t want to have to return to the dark truth of the human nature, and worse yet leave my new pony friends. They had become so dear to me in such a short time; I felt like I had never before had better, closer friends. For a long time, it didn’t seem like I would have to leave. I could stay and be happy with my little ponies for the rest of my life. It seemed like a miracle, to be taken from my doomed world and dropped in this new, wonderful one.
It was fantastic, being part of the group I had admired for so long. I had been learning about friendship from watching them in my old world, but being there helping with the adventures took it to a whole new level. Knowing that part of me would be remembered in those friendship reports gave me an indescribable feeling.
Everything seemed like it was falling in to place for me. I had the best friends anypony could ask for at my side, and they considered me one of their own. It was beyond perfect; I was living every brony’s dream. But, unfortunately, nothing lasts forever.
I feel kind of bad that I didn’t get very homesick. I was having so much fun in Equestria that I never even really missed my family or the friends I had left behind. I think it’s when I went back to Canterlot and visited with you for a while that I finally realized I had to go back. I don’t belong in this world, as much as I want to, and I am needed in my home among other humans.
Twilight finally found the spell that would send me back. We don’t know if I’ll have been gone for months or if I’ll appear exactly when I left. I’m going home, though, and I don’t think I’ll ever come back to Equestria. I’m going to miss you all forever, and I’ll always be wishing I could still be here, with my friends in Ponyville.
But then, looking back on the letter I’ve written so far and taking a few long minutes to reflect on exactly what I’ve learned, I think I’ll want to be home again.
Humans really aren’t as bad I may have made them out to be; in fact they’re so, so much better. Just as much as we are prone to making enemies, we are prone to making friends. Our history, though stained with the blood of people who fell for the greed of the rotten, is also full of great discoveries, inventions, expeditions and even nations that were all formed in friendship. Everywhere you go in my world, even though it doesn’t always seem like it, there are friends to help you through the darkest hours of the world.
We have the potential to be like ponies. Well, perhaps not quite what you have, but we have the capabilities to come close. Maybe now that I have seen your world and how deeply love and friendship can go, I can use my knowledge to change my world for the better. And even if I can’t make a difference on my own, there has to be one friend or another who will help me, and together we will make a difference.
Maybe I won’t tell anyone about what’s happened here. I don’t think they’d believe me. But maybe the other bronies from FIMfiction.net will. Maybe I’ll write about my story there. I’m really not sure how this experience will affect my life, besides me knowing so much more about friendship.
But I think that’ll be enough. I was wrong, Princess; some things last forever. Even if I never see my friends again, I know I’ll always have these great memories of our friendship. (Please excuse the absolute cheesiness of the next sentence.) My friends will always be with me, in my heart, no matter what. We’ll always be together, even worlds apart.
I won’t ever be seeing you again, Your Highness, so I felt that I should write my final goodbye to you in the form of a friendship report. This is the most valuable lesson I have ever learned, or ever will learn, and it will live in my heart as my friends do. All good friends’ hearts are connected, and that connection is forever.
I’ll see you next Saturday, only on the Hub. (It could happen!)
Yours truly,
The Muffin Mare
Author's Note
I will probably, much later on, once I have become experienced enough, rewrite this and make it good. But for now, just suffer through the only thing I had to publish at the time.
