I can feel it eat away at me. Slowly, I grow colder and colder, even though it’s spring. My mane once again covers my eye and I absently push it back with a hoof. I hate this feeling more than any other. It makes me feel empty and unwanted. I can’t fight, it though, and the loneliness takes control.
The first to go was Rainbow Dash. She was finally accepted into the Wonderbolts about a year ago and has been out on tour ever since. I managed to go to a couple of them, but, being the rookie and newly appointed guardian of Scootaloo, had no time to hang with a friend. Rainbow Dash was too busy before and after the shows learning to handle her multiple responsibilities for that. No more cowering in a corner for her now; she had to be a confident star and would be truly amazing when the Wonderbolts were done with her.
Twilight soon followed, taking Spike and Owlowiscious with her to Canterlot for her advanced studies with the princesses. Her studies now too important an intense to do from afar. In one of her recent letters she assured me she’d be back within a year, but although the clock is ticking, that time seems so far from now and I wonder if it will ever truly come.
Following Twilight, Rarity has also moved to Canterlot to be closer to her increased clientele and to give Sweetie Belle a place to stay while she goes to an advanced school for the musically gifted. The Boutique is empty and abandoned, waiting for her return. She makes more than enough now to keep both her old and new shop. No more wallowing in pity for her, its all uphill now. She assures me in her letters that although she loves Canterlot, Ponyville will always be her home and she will return when Sweetie finishes her classes. I never did find out when that would be, though.
Applejack’s still here, but the loss of Granny Smith hit her and Big Mac hard. Adding onto that Apple Bloom leaving for Manehattan to finish her schooling with her cousin Babs Seed, the two of them have decided to distract themselves with their work. Though they thankfully appear to be getting the right amount of rest, every waking moment is spent getting something done. No matter how I’ve tried to reach out to them, they just want to be left alone for now.
Fluttershy is taking this all worse than me, I think; all her assertiveness and self-confidence appears to have been more dependent on her friends than any of us knew. She’s more reclusive now than she ever was before, and I can’t stop it on my own. I’ve tried to let the others know, but they think I’m exaggerating. I’m not, though. They haven’t seen what I have, how on the few occasions I go over and find her outside, she seems to be oblivious to all around her as she gazes off longingly into the distance. Nothing I do can get her attention while she is like that, and a few of those times, I’ve seen her eyes start to shimmer. Thats when I quickly leave, feeling as if I’m intruding on something private.
Lyra, Bon Bon, Time Turner, Cheerilee, Carrot Top, Junebug, Mare Mayor--the list goes on--are all busy now, too, as more and more ponies move to Ponyville. Ponyville has grown, and it seems everypony is pitching in on the new construction and expansion. I get smiles and earn the friendship of most of the new arrivals, but they have no time to hang out or tell the story of how they came here as they settle in. I’m surrounded by more ponies than ever before, and yet I’ve never been so alone.
With all the new ponies, the Cakes are busy almost non-stop. I help, of course, but sometimes the kitchen gets too crowded with the three of us and I’m left out. The twins are always out exploring and no longer want an older pony with them. So here I am, alone in my room with only my thoughts and wandering gaze. In the corner I see Gummy’s ball of yarn; even he’s gone now, too. He finally grew and got his teeth, so I had to let him go. He’s living it up now in Froggy Bottom Bog, and I’m happy for him, but I still miss him.
I know in a year or so, when this all calms down and everypony returns, I’ll be there to help them with their griefs or hardships, to congratulate them and celebrate their accomplishments. But right now I need my friends. I need the help of others and to be praised for my accomplishments. I crave attention, I need attention.
I need them.
I need somepony.
Anypony.
Anyone.
Why am I telling you this? You know it all, you’ve been following diligently every step of the way. Every saturday without fail, you eagerly sit down to watch from your vantage point.
I’m telling you this because I’ve always been there for you. When you were sad I made you laugh, when you were lonely I helped to chase away the emptiness and feel accepted. I’ve always done all I could for you and never asked for much in return, just a smile on your face and the knowledge you were happy.
Now, though, would it be too much for me to ask you for a favor? After all this time I now find myself the one who needs the comforting and cheerful encouragement. I am now truly a party of one and in need of a friend. Could you be that friend for me now? Take some time out of your busy life and just be there with me, talking, laughing and enjoying life together.
Would you?
Please?
