[Heads up! This chapter has something that could, if you use your imagination, be considered clop. You have been warned!]

Although you had acclimated well to Equestria, within certain aspects at least, there were always uncertainties around every corner. Early on you encountered sickness, having gotten sick with a very bad cold. But lucky for you, the hospital had an extremely capable doctor that was able to make up for your physiology, and they actually had a cure for the cold.

Food was always a challenge. You could never be certain of what would agree with your system or not, and on more than one occasion, trying out something new had not been a pleasant experience. For you or those that had to witness it.

And of course, there was always the issue of fitting in, constantly trying to make a conscious effort not to be involved in any cultural faux pas.

Not an easy thing, to cram a childhood of learning cultural and social norms into the span of a few months.

However, if there was an uncertainty that was always at the forefront of your mind, it would have to be the first one you ever encountered when you first arrived in Equestria…

Was it all real?

It was a logical concern to have, the worry of being crazy. As far as you knew, you could be in a padded cell running around in circles, lost in your own head and a delusional world.

You knew that wasn’t the case though.

Between being experimented on by Twilight Sparkle, the town you lived in constantly being under threat of destruction and peril, you being able to live among its citizens like it were normal to be around talking ponies, and now you being chased by horny said citizens… You were pretty sure that not having lost your sanity so far was a good sign you hadn’t lost it before.

At least you hoped it was…

“More punch?”

“Yes, thank you Pinkie.”

Given what had happened though, you were pretty sure you should just drop the issue all together.

“OH OH! Maybe Gummy wants to have another go at pin the tail on the pony!”

But then again, Pinkie Pie kind of always had that effect on you.

“I’m actually surprised he’s so good at it…”

“Hehe, you should see him dance!” Pinkie Pie replied with an infectious giggle

You gladly accepted that infectious giggle as you looked across Pinkie’s room towards the wall with the poster of a pony. Gummy, blinking unevenly, was still hanging off a tail that had been near perfectly pinned on the pony.

The sight only made you smile more as you slowly began looking around the room and took note of everything you saw. You weren’t really sure how you got there, it was all kind of a blur. You seemed to recall there being a floating cow and doors along the way. But that didn’t really matter though. She had not been kidding when she said there was a party in her room, even if it was just you, her, and Gummy.

All around you, streamer, balloons, and confetti littered the room like if some kind of explosion had gone off. On the ceiling, banners were hung with festive ribbons holding up the corners. You read one of the banners and looked back at Pinkie Pie as you made to grab your glass of punch.

“Pinkie? Who’s birthday is it?”

The pink pony just began hoping in place in her chair as her ever present smile grew even bigger.

“Why silly, it’s for all the new babies being made of course!”

“Oh… I see…” You managed to utter out as you kept looking at her and took a sip of your punch.

“Yeah, I thought calling it a ‘Happy Messy Fun Time’ party wouldn’t fit too well. But aren’t birthday parties the best?!”

“Yeah… I guess they are.” You replied as you looked down at your empty plate and set down your glass of punch.

That had been your third slice of birthday cake. You couldn’t help but wonder if that was really the best choice for a breakfast. But then again, it was really good cake.

However, party food aside, that did spark and interesting question on your part.

“Pinkie, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure you can silly! OH! I bet you want more cake!”

“What? No no, I’m good for now. It’s just that-”

“Oh Oh! Do you want more ice cream then?”

“No, it’s not food related. I want to ask-”

“OH! I know then! You want a different color party hat!”

You didn’t even get a chance to reply as you felt something pull tight and smack against the top of your head. You turned to get a cursory look at a mirror near her bed and you saw that you now had two party hats on. You were pretty sure the pink pony hadn’t even moved, and you could feel something twitch on your face, around the region of your eye.

Maybe it was your eye.

You couldn’t be too sure though, because your gaze didn’t linger on the mirror as you slowly turned to look at Pink Pie. She was still sitting across the table looking at you contently. A sigh was all that managed to come out as you gave up and just went for it, side treks be damned.

“Pinkie?”

“Yes?”

“Why aren’t you trying to boink me like everypony else?”

The pause that followed your question lingered as you both continued to look at each other. Pinkie’s smile didn’t even falter as her smiling eyes lingered on yours.

“Okie dokie loki!”

“Hu-WHAT!?”

You blinked.

You freaking blinked!

She was gone…

Your head swung left to right in a vain attempt to find out where she went. The only thing you saw move was Gummy when he let go of the fake pony tail and fell to the ground. You looked behind you, not wanting a repeat of the cave. Yet, you saw no pony, so you ventured a guess and looked at the next place you may not expect her to be. The ceiling…

“P-pinkie?” You called out as you scanned the rafters and tried to look around the happy birthday banners.

Something under the table moved and suddenly grabbed your waist and pulled you down halfway off the chair. Your arms slammed on the table to stop your sudden decent, knocking over cups and decorations. Your mouth opened to try and scream a manly battle cry, but didn’t get far as your chin did a much better job at stopping you from being pulled down further.

Your consciousness faltered a bit. You could swear you saw stars as things became blurred.

However, as soon as you felt your pants get pulled down and off your ankles, as something warm and wet licked the inside of your thigh, you managed to force the darkness away if only enough to utter a few words.

“P-pinkie stop!”

No reply came and no matter how much you kicked your legs, you couldn’t get enough purchase or force to break free and pull yourself up. The position you were in didn’t leave you much to work with.

Something nuzzled you between your legs, and the hot breath you felt radiate through your boxers left no doubt in your mind as to what it was. Your body reacted almost immediately and you regretted not wearing the boxers with the button-up fly in the front. That open fly wasn’t so convenient now.

“Boop!”

Your eyes shot wide as you felt her poke your arousal with her nose and her tongue caressed the front underside of it. For whatever reason, that sparked something, and all communication from your brain to your legs suddenly shut off. Your arms held on to the table like if it were the last lifeboat on a sinking ship. Your body knew what was about to happen as much as you did.

Should’ve just shut up and had more cake!... Was all your thoughts could shout out before those too decided to turn off with what happened next under the table.

“Mmmm…”

That was the only sound you were able to discern as a pleasant sensation shot up your body and made everything tingle. Your entire focus became firmly set on what the pink pony under the table had just done and kept doing to your arousal. Against your will, your body was reacting and really getting into it. Your own thoughts weren’t too far off either.

It was really starting to feel good. Way better than when Fluttershy was rubbing you down in the shed, and a vague thought told you that she was barely getting started. It came from a part in your mind that demanded you find out how the rest of her party down below went. And that part of your mind was starting to overcome the rest of you.

Involuntarily, you let out a grunt and your hip threatened to thrust forward as you barely restrained yourself. Whatever little control you had left, you were quickly losing.

“Oooh, you liked that, huh?” You were barely able to make out as she cooed and continued to lather you up with her tongue.

Again you felt it, this time traveling up the opposite side, up and down in deliberately slow successions. More grunts emanated from you and your guard dropped as you lost the last bit of control you had left.

Without any more restraint, you thrusted forward, and what greeted was the realization that she had been waiting for you to do that. The warm wet sensation that greeted you lingered at the end of your arousal and your eyes closed as your primal instincts forced you to focus on the twirling of her tongue, followed by a kiss. That other part of your mind took control, and you realized what part it was. The part that told you it was tired of being blue balled since the day before.

And you honestly found yourself not caring…

Wow, when was the last time I felt this?

Why had I been running from this in the first place?

Why hadn’t I just given in at the shed with Fluttershy?

The twirling stopped and instead you felt the culprit press itself against the underside of your arousal. You felt her lips, soft and moist, and felt them part as an encompassing warmth took you in. Pinkie Pie didn’t take you in far, only the first inch or two. She had other plans for you.

That part of you that now held on to the reigns was eager to find out.

You didn’t have to wait long though as you felt the pressure on you arousal, and then a slight suckling sound emanated from underneath the table. The slight suckling-like motion she employed on you made you drag your nails across the table as you grunted again. She was like she was trying to coax something out of you, and you knew your body would comply if she continued… and you didn’t want to stop it.

That sucking sensation lingered at the edge for a second or a millennia, you really couldn’t be sure, before it pulled back and left you twitching down below, wanting to experience more of it.

Should’ve just given in at the start of it all, when it was…

“Mmm, Applejack would have loved how you taste!”

A neuron fired somewhere in your mind and lit a spark as a single word rang out through the primal fog that engulfed you.

… Applejack…

“I bet the frosting tastes even better!”

NO!

Your eyes immediately shot open as your arms let go of the table. The chair you were half leaning on shot out from under you as your full weight fell on it and you hit the ground. Your head gave a resounding bounce and you felt your wound from the day before re-open, but you didn’t care.

The sudden fall had loosened Pinkie Pie’s grip around your waist and you weren’t about to waste that opportunity as your elbow slammed against the floor and you used the momentum to roll out from her grasp.

“Hey! WHOAAA!” Was all Pinkie Pie managed to yell out as she fell off of you.

As soon as your stomach touched the ground, you used your non-banged up arm to push yourself up and get your feet underneath you. A grunt emanated from you as you tumbled out from underneath the table and forced yourself upright, immediately regretting it as a bout of nausea overtook you and the floor welcomed you again.

There were only so many times a human could bang their head like that before it caught up with them. But you weren’t about to let that stop you.

You managed to lift yourself up on your knees and began to crawl and drag yourself across the spinning room.

You needed to get away, and fast. Pinkie Pie was likely getting ready to pounce on you again and finish what she started.

You weren’t too far off.

“WEEEEE!”

You barely managed to turn around, and for your troubles you received the full impact of an earth pony landing on your waist. Lucky for you though, she missed what you assumed was her intended target. Something like that would have probably snapped it in two.

There wasn’t really much time to think about ‘what if’ scenarios though. Pinkie Pie, by the looks of it, wasn’t about to wait for you to recover from that body slam as her fore hooves pressed down on your shoulders and she pinned you down.

“Aw, don’t worry your pretty little head… Auntie Pinkie is going to make you feel good.”

The adrenaline coursing through you must have had a weird effect in regards of survival instincts as this comment triggered a memory that didn’t paint a pretty picture.

You suddenly remembered what your aunt looked like back home.

“Hey, what happened to your thingie?” The pink pony asked in disappointment as she pushed herself back and found you lacking enthusiasm.

Thank you Aunt Myrtle…

There was no time to linger on that thought though. In fact, you were still trying to get rid of the horrible image that comment had painted, but you were going to have to fight through it. Pinkie Pie was still distracted looking at your boxers like if they were some kind of puzzle. If you were going to do something, now was the time to do it.

“Pinkie!” You raised your voice as you took a hold of her face and forced her to look at you.

You weren’t trying to be mean, but in your previous interactions with the party pony, you had found this was the best method to get her to pay attention.

“I don’t want to have sex with you!”

“You don’t?”

“No!”

“Oh! Okie dokie loki then!”

Her reply had come swift as she simply shrugged her shoulders and jumped off your waist. You closed your eyes as you winced, thinking she was going to make another attempt at your non-existent arousal, but instead you opened them to see she was bouncing merrily back towards the table.

Something in your mind came to a screeching halt as you watched Pinkie Pie take her original seat and settled into it. She was smiling at you contently, like before, as if she had not just tried to break your hip.

“Pinkie…” You said as evenly as you could as you managed to sit up and not feel like the room was spinning.

“Yes?”

“Why are you being so coherent about this?”

“What’ya mean silly?”

What DID you mean by that? If your interactions with Fluttershy had been any indication, Pinkie Pie should have been bouncing on top of you like if she were trying to break the floor beneath.

Yet, there she was. Pinkie Pie, the pony that had made Big Macintosh run away in fear was, against what would be expected, just sitting in her chair. She had stopped when you managed to get her to listen. And, as far as you could tell, it wasn’t a trick.

Something in your head began to pulsate with the telltale signs of an oncoming headache, besides the one you already had from banging your head… again. Your mind tried desperately to make sense of what was going on.

“I thought the heat drove all the mares crazy…”

“Uh huh?”

“Then… Why aren’t you, you know, heat crazy?” For some reason you felt you had to be specific on what kind of crazy you were referring to.

“Oh! I’m not in heat right now silly! Mine was two months ago!”

You only blinked as you kept looking at her and saw her give you a wink as she began to clean up the mess you made on the table. That familiar twitching eye sensation from before came back in full swing as you tried your best to understand what that meant. You knew what SHE meant, but you couldn’t figure out what IT meant… if that made any sense at all.

Eventually though, you decided the best approach would be to jump right into the crazy pool.

“Then if you aren’t in heat, WHY were you trying to boink me?!”

“Oh, well, you asked me to and umm…” Pinkie Pie suddenly spoke in a whisper as her smile disappeared a bit and she looked at you from across her room as if she were looking at an injured puppy. “I just thought you might be available cause you turned Applejack down and didn’t want to be her stallion anymore…”

Minutes slowed to a crawl as you processed what she had just said. You hadn’t turned Applejack down. If anything, it had been the opposite of that, you had desperately wanted to be with her, but, the only thing prevented you from doing as such had been that you were too doubtful and insecure about yourself to properly respond.

“Pinkie, I didn’t turn down Applejack... She told me how she felt and she was pretty determined to make me her stallion…” You said as you rubbed the back of your head and winced as your finger grazed your wound.

“OH MY GOSH! She told you?!” Pinkie Pie practically squealed out between giggles as she began to bounce in her chair and clap her hooves.

“Yeah, excep-”

“OH! I should make you two a party to celebrate!”

“Pinkie wait a-”

“We can call it a, ‘I Finally Told My Special Somepony How I Felt’ party!”

“No, Pinkie wait-”

“Oh you’re right! Too long, how’s about a ‘How I Meet Your Mother’ Party!”

“Wait, what?! Pinkie just be quiet for-”

“I bet you two had a lot of happy messy fun times after she told you!”

That did it. What little patient you had left for this particular conversation vanished as you crossed the room towards the table, reached across said table, and took a hold of her cheeks to get her to look at you.

“Pinkie…”

“Yesh?” She replied as you pressed her cheeks together.

“Applejack and I didn’t have happy messy fun times…”

“You didn’t?”

“No…”

Pinkie Pie’s expression changed to one of confusion as you kept a firm hold of her face. You swore you could hear the gears turning inside her noggin.

“Then why are you here trying to get into my pants silly, when Applejack is looking all over for you?”

“Pinkie, you aren’t wearing pants…”

“Right, and that says a lot about you failing to get into them!”

“I wasn’t trying to get into your non-existent pants! I was simply trying-wait… What?”

“What what?”

Well, apparently Pinkie Pie’s gears weren’t the only ones that needed to be put through their motions. Although this could perhaps be attributed to you constantly banging your head like if you were at a rock concert. It did take you a few seconds longer to reword the phrase in your mind, extract the information you needed, and then word it into a comprehensible question.

“W-what did you mean Applejack is looking all over for me?”

Pinkie Pie’s face suddenly changed into one of concern as she brought one of her hooves to her chin in a thoughtful manner. You let go of her cheeks to let her contemplate your question. You needed her to answer, and you didn’t want to give her any excuse to not answer it.

“Well…” She let out as her voice matched her concerned expression. “When I saw her she looked really really sad and worried. Said she couldn’t find you anywhere…”

“S-she’s been looking for me?”

“Uh huh, Applejack said she had been looking for you all day and night.”

“All night? Pinkie, w-when did you see Applejack?”

“Right before I found you… I think she had been crying for a long time too.”

You didn’t saying anything. You really couldn’t say anything. A lump had formed in your throat when you heard these words. Applejack had spent a whole day and night looking for you. She had, and still was worried, sad, and crying.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Applejack look like that before either. She didn’t look very Applejack-like. I even asked her to come to the party, but she didn’t say anything.” Pinkie Pie finished saying as her ears drooped and hear smile turned into a sigh.

The full extent of your actions had come into light. And what you saw, made you feel like you were drowning in quick sand, unable to escape and afraid to struggle for fear of a quicker demise.

You thought you would only have to apologize for running away from her and being so stupid on Hearts Warming Eve. But the reality of it was you had been ignorant to her feelings on that day, and now, you had run away from her, twice... in the barn, and at the orchard.

In your urge to get away and try to not confront what was going on, you had trampled her feelings. Worst of all though, she had accidentally injured you and you had wondered off after she left. You could not imagine how she had felt. She had told you, through tear soaked eyes… through those beautiful emerald green eyes… not to move, that she was going to get help.

And you had left. You had ran away like every other stallion in town, faraway into the woods.

But she did not know that.

As far as she knew, something from the Everfree Forest had come out and snatched you away.

And now, here you were, back in Ponyville near the opposite side of town, eating cake and drinking punch at a birthday party… before nearly giving in to your lust and into Pinkie Pie’s ministrations.

Many emotions were running through you, now that you knew what you had done. Hopelessness, self-disappointment, self-loathing, anger… all of these seemed ready to tear you down. But, oddly enough, you found yourself putting one above all, and it was enough to make up your mind on what you had to do now.

“Pinkie…”

“Yeees?”

“I love Applejack…”

There was a long pause after you said this. Saying that emotion aloud was more than enough to set your mind at rest, and filled you with determination. And, by the looks of it, that was not lost on Pinkie Pie. For the first time that you could recall, Pinkie Pie looked at you with what could only be her version of a serious expression. It made you feel oddly even more relaxed about what you were about to do.

“And I need to go find her and apologize… at Sweet Apple Acres… on the other side of town…”

Pinkie Pie’s smile grew at your words and she began nodding her head eagerly as you stepped away from the table and walked towards the door to her bedroom. You stopped as you reached out to grab the doorknob, and a grin appeared across your features.

“Thank you for the birthday party Pinkie… and for bringing me back to Ponyville.”

“Oh you’re welcomed silly wily!” She replied as she waved a dismissive hoof and used the other to grab a piece of cake and tossed it into her mouth.

“Couldn’t you have at least, you know, brought me back to Sweet Apple Acres instead of Ponyville?”

“OH! I guess I could have huh? But that wouldn’t be as much fun though!”

The only replay that came from you was a disbelieving shake of your head as you let out a slight chuckle and pushed the door open. You stepped through it, and closed it behind you as the dark hallway welcomed you.

Oh, yay… a dark hallway. This seems fitting…

____________

The walk down the hallway and stairs was deliberately slow. There had been no urgent need to rush. You were pretty sure you’d be doing plenty of that in a few minutes. Right now though, you just wanted a moment to go through your half-assed plan in your head.

Applejack was at Sweet Apple Acres, assuming she had not gone to look for you elsewhere or worst yet, given up on you.

That thought alone made your stomach suddenly feel tight, but you fought it off as you tried to continue laying out your plan. You would make things right with Applejack, but to do that, you needed to get to her first.

Between you and her, stood a town of horny mares ready to have their way with you over and over again till you were senseless. Many of them were earth ponies, although there was still a healthy mixture of pegasus ponies, and unicorn ponies. Thanks to Big Macintosh, Celestia rest his poor spent and abused namesake, you had a basic idea of how to 'combat' each of them… if you were a pony that is.

You were a human, so that complicated things. You had a far more limited stamina reserve but, to your surprise, you were slightly faster, if not on par with, most earth ponies. With a few exceptions, of course. So running as fast and as long as you could would have to be your main weapon.

The next issue of course, was that you didn’t have wings. Pegasus ponies would easily overtake you by flying. But, lucky for you or at least you hoped, your bipedal form lent you with a bit more agility than what you had seen most ponies be capable of. So hopefully that would be enough to dodge a pegasus once or twice.

The only real concern for you though, was magic. Aside from a few sly of hand card tricks you knew, you really didn’t’ have anything to use against it. You would pretty much be done for if you got caught by unicorn. Even more so if it was with a levitation spell. Your only hope to survive them would be to use your head and your speed as most unicorns were not known for physical finesse. You also knew most spells, not all though, worked on line of sight principle. So maybe, if you got lucky, you could hide behind something before a spell took full effect.

So that’s the plan, huh? Dodge, hide, and run as fast and as long as I can... Your thoughts called out as you stopped in the middle of Sugarcube Corner.

As far as half assed plans went, you had to admit that the one you were about to employ was rather basic. Still, there was no point in stressing about it. You needed to do this. Not just for you, but for Applejack.

That thought alone was enough to fill you with determination, and you took in the sight around you as you relished the calm before the storm a bit longer.

The lights were off and a warm glow from the outside sun shone through the windows, casting a comforting still light across the room and its displays. The display cases were empty, of course, a sure sign that Mr. and Ms. Cake were either not here or were too busy to open for the day. Even if that was the case though, the room was still filled with the fresh smells of a bakery, and you could almost picture the throng of ponies lining up to get the freshest selections first right before they went to join their friends at one of the tables that were scatter across the shop.

A small smile formed across your face as you looked at these very tables. Many months ago, those tables had been stacked with pastries and decorations. Fruit punch, cakes, muffins, donuts, pies, everything had been put out for everypony to enjoy as they gathered around the tables and talked among themselves and the guest of honor.

You had stood back then, right in the same spot you stood now, below a giant banner that displayed your name and warm message of “Welcome to Ponyville!” written in Pinkie Pie’s mouthwriting.

It had been your welcome party, skillfully planned and carried out by Pinkie Pie and her friends after things had settled down after your impromptu arrival, and the ponies of Ponyville had lost most of their fear of you. Many ponies had shown up. Some had been as eager as Twilight to find out about you, asking you all sorts of questions. Other had been more reserved, choosing to approach you cautiously but determined to at least say hello.

Many of them had become very good friends in the months that followed.

Almost all of them were likely outside those doors, ready to chase down the first stallion they saw.

And it was time to give them what they wanted, but by Celestia, you were going to make them work for it.

You calmly walked towards the door and stretched out your arm as you took the doorknob in your hand and turned it to pull back the bolt. You didn’t open it yet though, choosing instead to take another second or two to calm your nerves.

To your surprise, you didn’t find any nervousness, but instead determination. Set strong and firmly at your core because of the mare that occupied your final thoughts.

I’ll see you in a bit, Applejack…

With that final thought, you flung open the door as the light from outside blinded you and you stepped outside. The door closed behind you with a resounding click.

____________

It didn’t take long for your eyes to adjust, and already you could see colorful blurs taking shape.

As you blinked a few more times, you could see that the colorful blurs were increasing in quantity, one or two at a time with each blink. You could see what you assumed to be the blurs’ heads looking in your direction. Your ears had begun to hear slight murmuring voices as soon as the door had closed behind you.

Eventually though, your eyes adjusted and you looked at what was in front of you. You kind of which you hadn’t waited that long to let your eyesight adjust to the bright light.

“Um… Hi everypony…” You said lamely as you suddenly found yourself with a plan B.

“I don’t suppose you’d all be willing to just ignore me and let me go about my business, huh?”

“GET HIM!”

And like that, you were back to plan A as you broke out running at full speed towards the exit of town that led to Sweet Apple Acres. The ground beneath you shook like an earthquake, but the shrills that came from behind you were enough to convince you not to stop.

“HE’S MINE!”

“I SAW HIM FIRST!”

“HEY YEASH, SHTOP *HIC* RUMMING!”

“GO HOME BERRYPUNCH YOU’RE DRUNK!”

“STOP RUNNING HOT STUFF!”

“FAT CHANCE!” You yelled back as you poured more speed and stamina into your stride.

Plan A was going to need a revision soon, and your thoughts were currently too preoccupied with something far more important.

Oh crud oh crud oh crud…

Author's Note

This chapter had a lot of rewrites, thus the lapse in a sort of weekly update. I think I'm doing weekly. Not sure... One factor in this was that I'm moving, so that kind of broke my train of thought a few times. However, I hope everypony enjoys this update. Things are about to get interesting for you... Bwahahaha.

Disclaimer - All characters presented in this work of fiction are owned by their respective creators and owners. In short, all the wubs go to Hasbro.