Night had long since descended on the land of Equestria, blanketing every tree, hillside, dirt path, and stream in a veil of peace and relative silence as the stars above played a melody of twinkling lights for the dreaming world to see. Many animals and creatures that would roam throughout the day had now long since sought shelter and rest for the night, while those that would roam through the night had already settled into their nightly routines.

The sounds of a frog near a stream could be heard in the distance, while the hoots of an owl up in a tree sounded much closer and played an ominous lullaby with the added sounds of the leaves rustling in the light breeze that refreshed the night. Here and there, a branch would sway and allow the moonlight to filter through and cast its beauty upon an all too familiar road.

It was a really beautiful night, worthy of pride on behalf of its creator, Princess Luna…

Too bad though that you didn’t pay much attention to it as you continued to walk in a half stupor down the path that led to Sweet Apple Acres.

Ever since you managed to leave the town of Ponyville, the walk down the all too familiar path had been nothing more than an increasingly painful blur as your body seemed to move automatically down it towards your goal. The entire walk had been accented by a few bouts of nausea here and there, one of which left a very unhappy gopher with no desire to return to its hole in the ground. And cold sweats so severe that they made you hazily curse your evolution for a lack of fur, and your lack of willingness to skin the aforementioned gopher for the sake of having something warm on your person.

Obviously your thoughts weren’t all too coherent, and for obvious reasons too.

Your body, it would seem, had decided that since you were no longer in relative kinky danger, that it was then time to make you feel every bump, scraped, bruised, and torn cell that made up your body. Your legs had become increasingly heavier along the way, almost to the point that you had to drag them forward very other step you took. Your left shoulder had become so swollen that it made it incredibly difficult to do anything with your left arm but to let it dangle like an overcooked noodle.

But above all, what had been affecting you most had been your head and its plethora of bangs and thumps. The pain the coursed through your perception with every thump that resonated through your head, had been enough to make it difficult to keep your eyes open and focus long enough on any single thing. Especially the road beneath your feet which felt bumpier than you recalled. The blurry vision that seemed to come and go as it pleased at the drop of a hat, had been to blame more than once for nearly causing you to trip and fall flat on your face.

Still, through all this though, through every complaint that your body threw at you and pleaded for you to take care of, you had kept moving forward. You had not stopped moving, and had no intention of stopping until you reached your destination. Until you confronted and made things right with the one pony that had been at the start of all this, the one pony you had hurt in your carelessness.

“Stupid bucken *grumble grumble*… Celestia damned horny horses…”

No pony had said that you couldn’t grumble and curse along the way though, much of which could be heard echoing through the night. Perhaps a good thing the owls and frogs and whatnot were making such a racket.

Neither Princess would likely approve of what you were saying.

Thankfully though, your journey was coming to an end, and the fence to Sweet Apple Acres was slowly coming into view.

And just in time too.

You had pretty much run out of curse words and explicit things to say.

“Applejack!”

Your voice rang out through the seemingly empty farm for the third time since you had hobbled your way past the fence gate. Since you entered the farm, many things had struck you as odd, and many of those things were nothing more than a haunting reminder of the day before.

Nothing had changed since you left.

The farm still had the same ominous silence that had permeated every corner of the property the previous morning. The only sound that could be heard was that of the light breeze, and it was only interrupted by a small wind chime that hung out on the porch of the Apple family home. The squeak of the barn door as it swayed slightly with the breeze only served further to set the ominous mood. And now, in the dark, it was easy to see that not a single light shone through any window of the farm house.

There were no signs that anypony had been walking about.

No signs that anypony had even been around there.

And worst of all, there were no signs of the mare you sought.

“Applejack!” You called out again as you walked further onto the property. No reply came like before, and you immediately found yourself fighting against the sensation of defeat that had been nipping at you since you set foot on the farm.

That sensation felt like poison after everything you had done, everything you had been through. But no matter how much you tried to push it back, its hold just seemed to have gotten stronger and stronger with every step you took. With it, thoughts and memories had been set loose, and everything you had done wrong had begun to replay back and forth through your thoughts with much more ease now.

“Celestia damn it.” Your voice echoed throughout the empty property as you suddenly found yourself standing in front of the barn, your feet having apparently taken you there automatically. You placed your right hand on the slowly swinging barn door and held it as you stared at it, more memories from the day before flooding back.

“If only I had…” You shook your head before you finished your sentence. You knew deep down that there was no point in thinking like that. Not at that moment, no matter how much those memories refused to go away.

The time for regret had long since passed. Now was the time to keep moving forward, to keep searching, to try and set things right again.

You opened the door enough to let yourself in, and hobbled your way inside into the dark interior of the barn. It took a second or two for you vision to adjust to the slightly darker inside, but after a bit, you were able to see clearly enough.

It looked no different than it had before. And, as you stepped further inside, you knew that nopony would be there.

The inside of the barn, as far as you could make out in the dark, looked as empty and as untouched as it had that morning you walked in. The plow was still near the corner, where it had been the morning before as its owner had left it, and would likely search for it there, assuming he had survived. The buckets for the apples where still stacked where you had left them a couple of days ago, before you so foolishly had left for what you thought was a three day weekend. And your tools, how you wished that you had to go look for Applebloom and her two friends to get them back so that you could get to work on the repairs for the farm, just for the sake of feeling it was just another normal day for you.

But of course, you knew it wasn’t.

Instead, your tools hung from the wall and rested on your work table, not a single one missing.

Everything was as it had been that morning… with the exception of one thing.

“Applejack’s hat…” You spoke softly as you hobbled further into the barn and knelt down to pick it up. The act was a lot more painful than you would have liked, but it had barely registered as you took the hat in your hands, and began to dust it off.

“She would have never just left it behind…”

Your hands gripped tighter around it as you brushed off the last bits of dust on it, and looked at it. It still smelled like her, although it was very faint. It was a scent all too enjoyably familiar to you because of all the time you had spent with her. It was a mixture of a strong apple scent, mixed in with a faint hint of cinnamon from her shampoo. There was also a small hint of sweat, but you had never found it offensive.

Her scent was enough to make your chest tighten, and you felt a burning sensation begin to spread around your eyes.

“Celestia… what did I do?”

Automatically, your head turned towards the barn doors, the pained part inside of you hoping for a repeat of the day before, hoping for a chance to do it right from the start. But alas, after a few minutes, it was obvious that that was not going to happen.

“I really am an idjet…” You let out in a barely discernible whisper as you forced yourself to stand back on your feet and held her hat firmly in your hand. You were going to make sure her hat was back with whom it belonged.

Just another thing to add to the list… You thought to yourself as you tried to steady your wobble.

Eventually though, after managing to steady yourself, you slowly began to hobble your way towards the barn doors as the moonlight from outside shone faintly through the one you had left open when you came in. As you got closer though, something off to your right behind a bale of hay glimmered, and you found yourself hobbling towards it instead.

The bale of hay was pushed against the wall, and whatever was glimmering was tossed between it and the wall, hidden. You stopped in front of the bale of hay and reached for the glimmering object.

It was a button, attached to a pair of pants. They had at one point been yours.

They were worn and torn, riddle with holes and tears, courtesy of your earlier days of working on the farm. The button had been the last piece to break off, and that had been the only reason you had left them behind when you moved out. You faintly recalled asking Applejack to throw them away for you but, as you looked at them further in the moonlight, you couldn’t help but notice they had been fixed.

The repairs were shoddy, ghastly at best, yes, but they had been thorough and it was obvious a lot of attention had gone into the task even if the end result had not been presentable. Upon further inspection, as you studied the button that caught your eye, you could feel a small, tired smile tug at the corners of your mouth. The button had the faint design of an apple on it.

A faint notion crossed your mind, and it gave way to a silly thought, but you were too tired to follow it through.

You had somewhere to be, and somepony to look for after all. So instead, you began to put the pants on…

“... Oh crud…”

And you immediately fell face first to the ground as you lifted a leg to slide it through one of the pant legs.

The fall had in no way been graceful. You tried to stick out your arms, but for some reason some signals hadn’t gone through to your arms and you instead fell rather hard onto the floor. But, oddly enough, it didn’t hurt. Not as much when compared to everything you had been through.

That and everything else already hurt, so it just barely registered as a mild annoyance which you expressed as you let out a sigh from down on the floor.

Slowly, you forced yourself to roll over onto your back and gazed at the barn’s ceiling. Your body was rather tempted to just lay there and rest as you felt a slightly tingling and numbing sensation begin to spread out into your limbs.

This won't do...

You didn’t say anything as you began to work the pants on while you lay in your new “less likely to fall flat on your face again” position. It took a few tries, having put it on backwards the first time and not being able to figure out where the other pant leg had wondered off to the second timed, but you eventually managed to put them on like a grownup.

It did admittedly take longer than it should have, but before you could dwell on that thought, and its implications to your physical and mental state, and how you were going to retell the incident later to make you look less foolish. You slowly found yourself on your feet again, heading out the barn door.

There were still two more places you could look for her in, and the Apple family house was just outside the doors.

The Apple family house had been as empty and as quiet as the barn had. It had been hard to tell, but as you roamed through the house trying to find any sign of the mare you sought after, it had looked like nopony had been inside for while.

The kitchen you found to be spotless, courtesy of Granny Smith and whichever pony’s turn it had been to do the dishes last before they all went into hiding to escape horny mare hell. While at a first glance, Applejack’s bedroom had given you a small spark of hope, having stepped inside to see something beneath the covers only to realize it was the shape of her unmade bed and pillows. She had slept there, but how long ago, you could not be certain.

Something inside you though, told you it had not been recent since your encounter with her in the barn.

The search through the house had been disappointing, to say the least. But you had not lost hope of finding her, of finding Applejack. Not yet at least…

There was still one more place you could look for her. And, as you walked along another familiar dirt path and got closer and closer to that place, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel an old familiar spark of hope burn brighter.

Even if it’s only fuel was a sense of desperate optimism.

“Applejack!”

You called out as you stepped off the dirt path and walked onto a small clearing in front of you. The clearing held a familiar tree that stood slightly spaced out from the others. Only far enough for its shadow to play with the moonlight from above and cast a small ring of light that went around the border of the clearing.

“Applejack!” You called out again, this time forcing your right hand to rise up to cup around your mouth as your left hand dangled and held firmly onto Applejack’s stetson hat and you walked further onto the clearing towards the tree in the center.

You kept calling out a few more times, but as you got closer and closer to the tree, the strength of your voice had diminished slightly to the point it had finally come out as a whisper. No reply had come back through the night. And now, as you stood in front of the tree, all you found yourself able of doing was to lean your right arm and head against it as you tried to fight off a horrible sensation.

“I don’t know what I was expecting…” Your voice grew heavier, pained, as that horrible sensation revealed itself as being the sense of defeat, and you unwillingly allowed your knees to buckle and drop you to the ground.

Applejack’s hat remained in your hand as you knelt in front of the tree you and her had shared so many conversations and pleasant nights underneath. The burning sensation in your eyes felt like an insult after everything you had been through.

“I should have tried harder!” Your voice raised as you managed to will your right hand to pound against the tree trunk once, before it fell to the ground to join the rest of you.

That horrible sensation of defeat had begun to give way to the sensation of utter and complete exhaustion. Your body wanted to rest, to stop, even if you did not want to. Even if all you were able to do now was grasp at the blades of grass as you continued to try and fight off the exhaustion that threatened to claim you.

You had failed to finish what you had set out to do, to find the mare you loved, and your eyes soon settled on your hands as you failed to hold back tears. Your breathing began to come out in shallow sighs as your chest begun to feel heavy, but hollow at the same time. Your throat now felt drier and more pained than it ever had while running.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as you continued to look down at the ground through tear stained eyes while your hands clutched at the grass, and ran your fingers through the dirt underneath. You felt one of your fingers grasp something that did not feel like grass, and you slowly brought it up to look at it in what little moonlight managed to break through the tree’s foliage.

“Applejack…” You whispered as you looked at the object in your hand, and felt your eyes burn more as tears fell freely.

What you held in your right hand was unmistakable…

“Y-you slept her?” You mumbled a bit louder to yourself as you continued to look at it. What you held was one of the red ribbons that Applejack used to tie her mane and tail with into her characteristic ponytails.

No other words came out as you held the red ribbon and continued to look at it before you intertwined it through your fingers. Your hand closed around the ends to keep it in place as you became aware of the sound the wind made as it rustled the leaves around you, almost as if you were afraid it would blow the ribbon away.

The sound though, was oddly comforting as you continued to listen to it, sounding almost like any other day, as if nothing was wrong. And your nose soon caught the scent of apples that traveled with it from the orchard that surrounded you. For some reason, you soon found a smile forming across your lips, and a dream from what felt so long ago began to play out through your thoughts.

“Applejack, I don’t know where you are…” You suddenly found yourself saying in earnest in a loud clear voice. “But I’m not going to stop looking for you… no matter how tired I am and no matter how much by body complains.”

You no longer felt the breeze, but the scent of apples still lingered and you found a small bit of strength left, enough to push one knee forward and off the ground as you held tighter onto her ribbon in your hand.

“B-because I know you’d do the same … and b-because… because…”

Your nose caught something else intermingled with the scent of apples... cinnamon.

“I’m so sorry Applejack!” The volume of your voice caused it to resonate through the clearing as your knee gave out and you slumped back to the ground.

“I’m sorry I ran away from you… I-I never meant to hurt you bu-”

“But yah did…”

The words died in your throat as you heard the rustling of leaves behind you and focused on the voice. It sounded strained, and tired, a perfect match to your own, and you slowly turned to face the source of it…

“Don’t yah dare turn’ah round…”

And immediately stopped as you kept looking at the tree in front of you.

“Don’t yah DARE turn’ah round right... Ah’m so angry at you ah don’t even want to look at your muzzle.” She commanded as her voice took a sharp edge...

“Yah ran away…” And she spoke your name with such finality to it that it conveyed just how hurtful an act that had been.

You remained quiet as she now held and commanded your full attention.

“Now, ah’m used to a stallion o’two turning their muzzles up at me, but ah’ve… ah’ve never had one run away from me…”

A strained, painful pitch that wasn’t there before suddenly appeared in her voice and the image of her about to cry suddenly took hold of your thoughts.

“Applej-”

“SHUT UP!”

Your mouth clamped shut immediately at her outburst and you heard something slump against the ground. You could hear her sniffling as she tried to not to break out crying. And even though she had just lashed out at you, no aggression stirred inside of you.

“Yah the first stallion ah’ve evah opened mah’self up to like that, even if ah w-was… n’heat.”

“…”

“And yah ran away…”

“…”

“Yah were injured… Ah came back and all’ah found was your blood on that tree!”

Finally, her voice broke, and so did her restraint as she began to cry, and your chest tightened at its very core.

“AH DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED T’YAH AND DROVE MAH’SELF HALF MAD LOOKING FOR YOU!!”

“Applejack-”

“SHUT UP! AH WON’T TELL YA’GAIN!”

Minutes passed by lethargically slow as you remained kneeling looking at the tree, quiet, not another word leaving your lips. You could still hear her behind you, and although her sniffling had gotten louder and more strained, you had not moved or said a word.

Eventually though, her voice grew shallower and you could no longer hear her crying like before. Instead, she spoke again with a shallow, calm, and yet tearful voice. And what you heard only left you more pained.

“W-was it really s-so horrible tah be with me, …?”

Your head slowly turned to the side as she spoke your name and her voice broke out in a gentle sob again before she continued.

“A-ah mean… ah know ah’m not as smart a-as Twilight, or as pretty as Rarity… o-or as cute and gentle a-as Flu-Fluttershy… or as… as…”

Her voice gave out as all you heard now was the sound of her crying. And at that moment, the escalating ache in your heart felt like nothing when compared to her own.

Slowly, gently, you forced yourself to turn around to look at her, and what you saw, was enough to force yourself to your feet one final time. Painfully, you bent down to pick up her hat, and forced one foot in front of the other as you walked towards her.

Applejack’s head was hung low, looking down at the ground beneath her hooves as she sat on her haunches and trembled with every pained sob that left her. Even from only a few feet away, you could see her tears glisten in the moonlight as they rolled down her cheeks and fell onto her hooves. Her mane looked a mess, scattered all over as it hung from her withers and down her back as some twigs stuck out of it and her tail. Her coat was dirty and you could faintly see in the moonlight signs of scrapes that had dirtied her coat.

Your very core trembled as you imagined what she went through looking for you, as you replayed every word she had just said, and the shame you felt reverberated in your voice as you spoke her name and got closer to her.

“Applejack…”

“Don’t… p-please…”

It was all she could get out through the sobs and tears that wrecked her. But you didn’t listen, and kept hobbling towards her.

“P-please…”

She didn’t even look at you as she spoke again, her voice sounding so pained that you were afraid she’d run away. But if she was going to, it was too late.

“Applejack…” You said her name again as you stopped in front of her and dropped to your knees. You landed harder than you had intended, and the realization that that had been the last act of movement from your body settled in your mind just fine.

It had been a final act. You wouldn’t need them anymore.

You were too tired to continue, and your goal had been met…

“I-I… I ran away because-”

“D-Don’t say it… p-please…”

Her tearful crying got even harder as every breath she took sounded as pained as if it were her last. You wanted to continue, even if you didn’t understand what it was that she didn’t want to hear.

You knew what you needed to say, but…

“A-Ah know… ah know ah’m just a s-silly… stupid pony that’s o-only good’nuff to work on ah farm…”

But realization soon hit you, and you could only stare.

Before you was the strongest pony you had ever known. Devoted to her family and friends to a fault, honest in her work and hard working, unshakeable…

“A-Ah don’t n-need tah h-hear it f-from the one… the one…pon- person ah love…”

And yet, still a pony, a mare. Pained and crying because she saw her self-worth as not being anything of worth at all. Because she saw herself as not being of enough worth for someone like you…

A notion you fed by running away.

You never felt like such a prick in your life.

“Ap-Applejack…”

She didn’t reply. She didn’t even look up at you, and you really hoped she wouldn’t back away from what you were about to do.

Slowly, you forced your hand to rise up, and slowly, gently, placed it below her chin. She must have had her eyes closed as she faced towards the ground below her. She startled a bit, but didn’t resist as you raised her chin so she could face you.

What you saw then in front of you only made you more determined.

Her lips were trembling as she tried to fight back sobs and hiccups. Tears had soaked her cheeks to the point that her coat had stains on it like rivers leave on the ground. And her eyes, her beautiful emerald greens eyes, shone through the tears that had yet to be shed.

You didn’t speak, and only looked at her as your hand rose from her chin and caressed her tear stained cheek. You felt her hesitantly want to push into it, but she was fighting, a look of hopelessness besmirching her features.

That all changed though as you neared your face towards hers, and her eyes grew slightly bigger as a bit of hope shone through them, and tears broke free to roll down her cheeks and onto your hand. Her lips, although trembling, slight pushed out as if hoping against the impossible to meet yours, but they didn’t find them, and that slight glimmer of hope in her eyes faded a bit.

Instead, you paused a bit and pressed you forehead against hers, and your eyes sought hers as hers only looked back in sad confusion. They widen a bit at she felt your other hand rise and gently place her hat back where it belonged.

You left your hand there, and pushed her against you with what little strength you had left. Her trembling only seemed to grow stronger and you felt her strained breath caress your lips.

“Applejack…”

More tears flowed from her eyes.

“I-I ran away because I was afraid…”

She closed her eyes and her head lightly jerked away from you, but you held it with your hand.

“Afraid that I was not good enough for you…”

Applejack remained silent as her eyes slowly opened and she looked into yours, tears still gently streaming as a slight spark of understanding and hope glimmered for a second.

“Afraid of what it meant for a human to fall for a pony… afraid of just how much I could disappoint you…”

Her eyes got slightly wider, searching your face as if trying to find something, some sign that she had heard you correctly.

“I told myself that… because of that, because I was different you would never want to be with me. So much so that when you told me at the barn, I didn’t know if you were saying it from your heart, or just because of the heat… and I hurt you because of it.”

Applejack’s lips were still trembling but they were moving. She was trying to form a word but only a gentle sob managed to come out as your other hand joined in caressing her cheeks and you pulled away slightly so you could look at her better. You could feel tears roam down your own cheeks as well, but for some reason, the sensation felt alien and your limbs were beginning to tingle.

“You are not stupid or silly Applejack… You are hardworking, devoted to those around you… beautiful beyond anypony I’ve ever met… I-I don’t understand why somepony as wonderful as you would ever fall for somepo-someone like me.”

“Sugacu-” Her voice cut off as her hoof rose to settle atop one of your hands. It felt pleasantly warm, and you became aware your extremities felt cold even to you. Her eyes had gotten slightly wider and you caught her other hoof raise and press against your bare chest, over your heart.

Odd, you couldn’t even feel it. But it was only a passing thought as you continued speaking.

“I-I’m not strong Applejack… not like you. I-I can’t do what you do, not like a pony at least, but only as what I am. I have limits, barriers that will never let me be what you d-deserve Applejack.

You quieted down for a second as you realized her other hoof had moved to your forehead while the other one continued to press against your chest. You couldn’t feel any of it. When did your hands stop caressing her and fall to your sides?

“But I know now… that never mattered to you…”

Her lips were moving but no sound was coming out. Your mind was feeling fuzzy, unclear. When did the world become slanted? Were you leaning to the side? For some reason your words just kept flowing out, no matter what was going on around you.

“You took me in when no pony else would have… you gave me a chance to prove myself before anypony else did… and you gave me your friendship and love before I even knew such a thing was possible…”

Something fell on your face, a tear. Applejack was leaning over you, crying, frantically saying something. When did you lay down? Her hoof was pressed against your chest as she leaned over you, her other hoof was near your head. Your hand moved of its own accord and grasped the hoof on your chest and she looked at it before looking at you. She looked panicked, and shadows were creeping into your vision.

Your fogged mind realized what was happening. Your treacherous body had called it quits. Human endurance could only go so far... You had pushed too hard.

She had her forehead pressed against yours now. You couldn’t feel it, but only saw her emerald tearful eyes looking at yours, pleading. Her mane was cascading all around you, and her scent was enough to lift the fog a bit, if only for a second or two before that too started to fade. Your voice sounded odd in your ears, and no other sound seemed to filter through.

“I’m so sorry Applejack… But, i-if you give me… a chance. I will spend… my life doing… what I can to be… the one you deserve. Not… because of what you’ve… done… But because… of who you are…”

Your eyes settled on hers as shadows overtook everything around you, but you knew you were smiling because what you were about to say, came from your heart.

“Because… I love you… Applejack.”

Something pressed against your lips, and you caught a glimpse of sparkling green as your vision faded, and all went black.

And a single thought faded with your mind.

Damn it… going to have to apologize… for this… too.

Author's Note

Disclaimer - All characters presented in this work of fiction are owned by their respective creators and owners. In short, all the wubs go to Hasbro.