Everypony's Looking

by lethalogica

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Big Macintosh, Random, Adventure
Length: 16316

One visit from an Apple cousin leads Big Mac and Rainbow to some interesting situations. (AKA, The Epic Misadventures of One Apple Farmer and an Aspiring Wonderbolt and a Bunch of Bad Luck)

When Braeburn forgets something in his visit to Ponyville, Rainbow Dash goes flying after his train to give it back, only to find out Big Mac is on the trip with him. With the Appleloosan going to the restrooms, they argue- until their car, the last one of the train's line, is mysteriously cut off. Lost in the desert, they now have to survive a ghost town, a pair of ancient, cursed bracelets, Las Pegasus, one very mad scientist, so much more, and, most of all, each other. But there may also be more to their story, like three pairs of hooves looming over their destiny. First, though, they're gonna need to get back to Ponyville.
It's my first MLP fan fiction, but I do so appreciate feedback.

Published 2013-01-07 06:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-02 02:14:15 UTC

Chapter Two: 3:10 to Appleloosa

"Tweet, tweet! Tweet, tweet!" robins and sparrows of different sizes and shapes sang outside of the window.

"Ugh, shut up!" the pegasus yelled, sending them the furious face of a pony hungover and tired.
Frightened, they bunched together, shaking, before one valiant bird, then many and all, flew away to what she suspected was another tree to terrorize somepony else.

"That's right," she growled, "I don't need nature's alarm clocks to wake me up..." Turning over, she froze at the sight of something else in the bed. Something big. And red. Her eyes widened. Oh my Equestri- Celestia, Luna, I don't know, Cadence too, I guess! Please, please please don't tell me I slept with Big Mac last night!

Her breath quickened as her mind raced with thoughts, like What the buck happened last night! and How did I end up in the Apple house?, so she rolled back over facing the window. But the new sunlight shining through hurt her barely adjusting pupils, leading to her getting up as quietly as she could to sneak out before anypony else woke up.

"Now hold on, Miss Dash," the colt began, "where are you goin'?"

Rainbow turned her head slowly to find Big Mac's eyes locked with hers. She sputtered, "Uh, I was just- just gonna go and- and- and, uh... Go?"

With a heavy sigh, he affirmed her hopes, attesting, "If you're worried if we did more than just sleep, Ah can tell ya' that you're sadly mistaken. Last night, after matching me then Braeburn and AJ drink for drink, ya' finally passed out. Since Ah was sumwhat at fault for it 'cuz Ah was the one who challenged ya' to it, Granny Smith ordered me to give ya' mah bed for the night. Ah still needed mah sleep, tho', so Ah ended up sleepin' next to ya'."

"Oh- oh..."

"Miss Dash," he snickered, "excuse me if Ahm wrong, but is dat discontent Ah hear in your voice?"

A flurry of scarlet brushed across her cheeks as she gawked. "N-no! Wha- why in Equestria would I ever- no! There's no way I would ever... No! You're delusional, Big Mac! I mean, I- I- no!" she reputed in increasing volume.

"That's an awful lot o' denial for what could've been a simple 'no'," he noted smugly as he knew he'd gained the upper hand.

The red intensified and Rainbow Dash stuttered, "I- I- you- there's no- ah! I'm leaving now! Hmph!"

She rushed out, tail between her legs, as Applejack entered the room and observed her upset friend trotting off, inciting the mare to ask her brother, "Big Mac, what dija' say to Rainbow?"

"Heh... Nothin'," he replied, before snuggling back into bed to sleep just a little while longer.

The two days Braeburn stayed ended before anypony noticed, the weekend flashing by like a daydream. Braeburn worked the fields alongside Big Mac, which cut the usual work time in half, giving the Appleloosan time to court Rainbow. He forgot about his girl troubles at home and just enjoyed his time there with his beloved cousins and new found infatuation. But, alas, it was ten after three on a Sunday afternoon, and time for the lover boy to go back.

"We'll miss ya', Braeburn, but remember: you can come back an' visit us anytime you want, no matter how or why, even if the why is simply concernin' a certain pegasus you may or may not be missin'," Applejack teased.

"Aw, shucks, AJ, ya' found me out! Although Ahm suspectin' you're just sayin' that so you'll have more help 'round the farm," he joked.

She sighed sentimentally and found herself hugging her cousin once more. "Don't forget to write us letters, alright? And you take good care a' 'im, will ya'?"

"Ah won't an' Ah will, don't you worry. Golly, you're startin' to sound just like your momma."
The bell for the train rang one last time, so Braeburn stepped into the main car after swinging on the railing one last time to say, "Farewell AJ!"

The train departed and the goldenrod mare was left in the dust with a smile and a slow wave into the air.

"Ha, I think I might actually miss that guy," Rainbow muttered, lying in her cloud bed. I gotta admit, at first, I was just using him to get back at Big Mac that one time in the field. Nothing gets an Apple better than another Apple! But, honestly, he grew on me. I mean, that lusty Southern accent, gorgeous green eyes, unbrushed, yellowish-orange mane, soft and vibrant red coat- wait, what? Brain, what are you doing? Stop! That's- that's Big Mac, for Celestia's sake, not Braeburn! Both are quite handsome for being apple farmers, though...

Oh, I just realized! Every Apple I've met so far has had a signature thing! So, let's see... AJ has her hat, Applebloom has that hair-bow-thing of hers, Mac has his yoke, Granny Smith's got those hair sticks, and Braeburn's is a vest and his... His... Oh, buck!

She quickly sat up and looked at the Stetson laying loftily on her floor. "His hat! I forgot to give him back his hat!" she panicked.

Before she knew it, she'd already raced out of her empty home towards the Ponyville Express with the hat in her mouth and determination in her eyes. She flew past the schoolhouse, Carousel Boutique, the library, Sugarcube Corner, even the unstable city hall, giving a quick, "What's up, Derpy?" as she passed the ditzy pegasus.

She flew past flora and fauna, occasionally doing a loop-de-loop before remembering her priorities. Phew, it's a good thing I'm awesome and fast. After the finding the right tracks and flying for approximately twenty miles, she spotted the train chugging along. To her luck, the first car she entered, the last one of the train's assembly, was the right one, with the name "The Apples" engraved into a golden plate on the door.

"Braeburn? Oh, Braeburn, are you here? I have something you forgot with me," Rainbow sang softly into the dark after she jimmy-rigged the lock.

There was a mumbling in the side, where she suspected the beds were. Finally being able to distinguish shapes with her eyes taking in the darkness and making sense of it, she found that somepony was sleeping, sheets all wrapped around like a mummy as he breathed slowly but evenly.

"Oh, you're sleeping, huh? Well, I know you can't hear me, but I'm just here to return your hat. You must've left it with me when we were... Playing around in the meadow. Anyways, I gotta go- but before that, though, let me just give you a departing gift..."

Placing the Stetson carefully on the floor, she bent over the sleepyhead, about to place a kiss on his forehead, when the door opened wide, the lights flicked open, and a familiarly jubilant voice piped up, "Big Mac, sorry to disturb ya', but the café does indeed have- have- have- Rainbow Dash?"

The mare, frozen in place, let her frightened eyes glide from Braeburn's astonished expression to Big Mac's miraculously still asleep face. She babbled, "*Brae-Braeburn?* But- but- so this is- is- Big Mac?"

Forest eyes startled open, and seeing Dash close to him all of a sudden bolted Macintosh up, sending adrenaline through his system. The chemical, however, was instead wasted when he immediately sat straight up and hit his head hard on the ceiling of his bunk. "Buck! Rainbow, what are you- waita' minute, Braeburn?" He paused before the gears began turning again. "No, this isn't what it looks like!"

The pegasus concurred, "Yeah, Braeburn, I- I thought he was you! I was just here to return your hat when you forgot it with me!"

They both began bumbling on about what happened and that it was all just a misunderstanding, but their speech simply melted together in the Appleloosan's ears. Great. Lost another one to another cuz'. What rotten luck Ah got...

With a lingering sigh, he trotted over to take back his hat then leave, saying without even glancing back, "Ahm goin' to the restrooms."

The door slammed and the two fell silent. After minutes of gut-wrenching tension, Big Mac was the one who broke the ice, berating Rainbow, "Why are you here? It was trouble enough convincin' him to go back without ya', t' face the heartbreak, what he tried escapin' for a whole weekend, but now- oh, and now you've gone and broken his heart, just when it was barely fixin' itself!"

"Me? Why are you blaming me? This was purely bad luck, Big Mac, right place, wrong time! Besides, you were the one sleeping here, which lead me to believe that you were him! Why were you sleeping here in the first place?" she pronounced, almost shouting.

"'Cuz for the last coupla' bucking days, a bunch o' moronic birds 'ave been perched outsida' mah window, singin' annoyin' little 'la-di-da-da' tunes and waking the buck outta' me, an' this train ride has been the only opportunity Ah've been able to take ta' get some much needed rest in before startin' yet another series o' chores over at Appleloosa!"

She paused before starting a random rant, repeating his words in her mind silently. Her cheeks puffed up and she covered her mouth, trying to hide her amusement. Sniggering, she asked, "Okay, okay, let me get this straight- you haven't been able to sleep lately before of some stupid birds waking you up early?"

"It- it's worse than it sounds, alright?" he faultered, also seeing the senselessness of his words and beginning to loosen up just the tiniest bit. "But that is not the point here! The point here is that you leave bigger messes than you can clean up, Miss Dash, but you better damn well go an' try to tidy this one up with Braeburn right this minute!"

"Psht, doesn't Mr. Serious Face have a flair for the dramatic," Rainbow Dash soliloquized under her breath.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing, Big Mac. You know, you're lucky I actually want to apologize in the first place, otherwise you wouldn't be getting anything but a swollen hoof print on your cheek right now," she declared, turning acutely as to whiplash Big Mac with her tail and plod away before he could react.

As she reached for the handle, it turned into a symphony of fiery colours. Undeterred, she grabbed it, Rainbow being Rainbow. "Ahhh! Buck! What the buck!"

The lights flickered. Macintosh looked at Dash sternly. "Was that you? Tryna' play another one a' ya' tricks on me?"

"No! I'm not that immature, Mac! That's such an elementary grade prank! If I really wanted to scare you, I would've first taken some glow-in-the-dark paint- the good ones that are invisible in direct light, ya' know what I mean? - then slathered it all around the floor and set a booby trap with a-"

Something made a cluttering sound from the top of the car. "B-Big Mac? Wha-what was that?" the light blue pony asked, staring intently at the ceiling, with a hint of apprehension towards what may come next.

The whole car began to shake and rattle viciously, the two ponies getting tossed around the white bits in a snow globe. "Rainbow," Mac called out, "c'mere!"

"No!" she rebelled.

"Rainbow, c'mere!" he repeated.

The peagasus studied her surroundings, falling to her knees at one point when she lost her balance. Damn it! I have my dignity and I have my pride, but I'm not gonna lose my life over them! Dash scrambled over to the stallion, taking a steadfast hold on him.

He held on to what he could of the ladder and Dash with his other leg. It abruptly stopped and the two relaxed, inhaling deep breaths. "It's finally over, righ-" and Big Mac was disrupted by the car rotating fully over and over again.

He'd let go the moment he said so, and the two could only cling to each other as they were flung all around. "You just had to say it, didn't ya', Mac? You just had to!"

The car ultimately flipped on its left side after what seemed like minutes, leaving two injured ponies hanging on to the other.

Rainbow whimpered slightly, and Mac tucked her in closer by nature. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I-I'm okay," she cringed, "just little battered up." There's something wet and sloppy stuck on her wings. Painfully spreading them, she took a sample and tasted it. Iron. My wings are bleeding. Buck. The daredevil mare had taken enough rough landings and messy accidents to know how it tasted by then. "Are you okay?"

"Eeyup," he said solemnly.

With a shaky laugh and an obviously mock-confident tone, she enjoined, "Mac, you can get off of me now."

They separated and Big Mac got back up on his hooves first, offering his fellow victim a hoof, who snappishly accepted it. Trudging next to each other, they climbed out of the sideways door, the handle a normal temperature again, and let the blindingly radiant light of the sun shoot down the air of unnerving strain between them. A simoom breezed by the two, invigorating the pegasus, shivering in joy, as she stepped out with the farmer still behind. It was the first moment he'd ever seen her look so free.

An' beautiful. The wind combed through her wild, streaked hair, and the sun outlined her fine features, illuminating her profile as if she were some sort of deity. Something he never noticed before? How much the violet-pink of her irises were emphasized by her cyan coat. An', her coat, o' course! The sirocco gently ruffled her coat, which lead his eyes to her wings, sleek and smooth, which she sprawled to stretch and let be tousled the wind. But there were stains one of them, standing out starkly as Big Mac noticed, his eyes widening at realizing what they were. Blood! Her wing's bleedin'!

"Rainbow," he ran over, "ya' told me that you're alright!"

She swung her head towards her injuries, grimacing as she moved them stiffly. "And I meant it. Don't worry, Mac," Dash smiled, "I've had worse."

"Ya' idjit, it doesn't matter if ya' don't feel anythin' right now, you don't know what's in th' dust! You could get an infection!" he chided heatedly.

She stepped aback, slightly flabbergasted. I've never seen Big Mac this angry for someone who's... Someone's who's not another Apple.

He noticed her caution and, thinking he may have scared her, Macintosh consoled, "Ahm sorry, Dash, Ah guess Ah got all caught up. As much as we can both get on each otha's nerves, Ah jus' don't wanna see ya' gettin' hurt when Ah coulda' helped you, alright?"

She nodded agreeably, and retrieving her wit, she grinned, "Then, unless you have a first aid kit, we should go looking for civilization, right?"

"That would be a good start," the farmer answered.

"We should start trying to find our way back, huh?"

"Eeyup."

With a laugh, Rainbow asked, "Do you even know where we are?"

"Nnnope."

"You're so useless, Big Mac," she giggled.

"Coming from a pegasus who can't fly."

She shot a glare from him, protesting, "Hey-" but after seeing his mischievous smile, she shook her head somewhat and continued, "You're such a bucktard, Mac! You really gotta work on those jokes of yours, though, they sound like the things Granny Smith would say at night!"

"Hey-" he began, then stopped as he realized her move. "You got me good, Miss Dash."

"Well, what else would you expect from Equestria's awesomest pony?"

Fully turning around to look the stallion in the eyes, she noticed something in the horizon, strangely town-like yet faded. "Hey, Big Mac? Do you see that too?" she pointed in the distance. "Or am I just going crazy and seeing one a' those desert-mirage-thingamajigs?"

He inspected what she was referring to, and after walking around the crashed train segment to get a closer view, his eyes glowed with anticipation. "Ah- Ah see it too!"

"Awesome! Let's go then, come on! Or, what, you wanna stay here?"

"Well," he quickly scanned the wreck, "no, but maybe we could salvage somethin' before we go."

Rolling her eyes, she sighed dramatically and droned, "Fiiiiine..."

After gathering what they felt was useful in pillowcases then sling it over their backs and galloping for what felt like hours, Rainbow Dash and Big Macintosh arrived at the entrance of the town. Scrawled a webbed, rotten sign with sanguine paint was the name, "Coltergeist".

Chapter Three: Bloody Marey

"Ooh, spooky. Name a town after a some ghost flick that was hot in the box office, how interesting," Rainbow mocked.

Mac shushed her, explaining, "Ya' don't know if somepony might hear you an' kick us out for that; we need to get you help for your wing!"

She scoffed lightly, pretending to hold up her hoof to study it. "That is so possible because this town is just the life of the party!" she screamed in an almost deafening volume. Her words echoed throughout the dirty roads, despite the fact that it broke the laws of sound. "Right. Somepony will hear us. Somepony who's probably already in the dirt and dead," the annoyed pegasus added.

"Rainbow..." he said strictly.

"Ugh," she wailed, "fine. I'm sooo sorry to any and everypony that had the misfortune of hearing me tell the truth!"

He sighed with distraught. This is the Hell Ah'll have to deal with for Celestia knows how long! Buck.

"Now, if I were a hospital, were would Ah be?" he asked aloud.

"Well," she began, inciting Big Mac to give an inaudible mutter, "if I were a hospital, I'd be near the entrance, maybe within a half a mile, so newcomers could reach it easily since most establishments are located near the front of the town, for the matter of tourism, plus any actual residents would already know the best ways to get there."

"That's... That's actually mighty clever," Macintosh uttered in slight disbelief.

"Heh, what? Didja' think I'm all fly and no brains?" She cast a playful look at him as she began trotting into the town.

"Eeyup," he smiled nonchalantly.

Rainbow kicked up dust in the air towards the farmer and left him behind with a, "Ha-ha, you're such a bucktard, Mac."

Veering towards the right, they walked, passing by abandoned stores full of tchotchkes and knick knacks, restaurants with posts claiming the title of best pie in Equestria, or, even more confidently, the most savory mushroom pot pie in the entire hemisphere. As they got farther and farther from the entrance, the quality of the shops and homes became increasingly bad. The paint of some buildings were but a faded shell of their previous colours, the wood on old-fashioned houses cracked, rotted, falling apart at the nails. One former pet shop simply said, on a hastily cut-out cardboard sign dangling from inside, "Fresh Meats".

After walking through a real estate agent's worst nightmare, they arrived at a dusty grey complex, with crude, almost unintelligible writing proclaiming it to be a "CLINIC".

Kicking the doors open, Rainbow Dash yelled, "Alright, where's the doctor? We have a broken wing over here!"

From the dimly lit lobby, she could make out a figure stroll across a hallway, so she ran after him, hollering, "Hey, Mister," and ignoring the random splatters of a deep ruby liquid, not yet dry, on the floor. She slipped and tried regaining her stability, only to slide backward and into the red stallion who stopped her capricious path.

"Rainbow! What was that?"

"You saw him, right? There doesn't seem to be anyone else here, so I took a chance and went after him!"

Scrubbing what she could off onto a fumbled pile of dirty towels by the side, she got back on her hooves, and Big Mac inspected the substance. He sniffed it, and smelled something he could recognize easily from his times of nursing both AJ and himself. "You know what you tripped on? Blood, for Celestia's sake! That mighta' been a serial killer!"

With a shrew scoff, Dash dismissed it, saying, "Yeah, blood, Mac. We're in a hospital, remember? There's a lot of blood in a hospital. And I doubt a murderer would be lurking around here of all places! I mean, look at this dump! He'd hardly get any victims!"

"But we could be his new ones," Macintosh glared at her with stony, serious eyes.

She smirked. "No, Mac. Just- no. Don't worry, if you get scared, you can hold on to me, I won't mind."

There was a gigantic crash from inside one of the dark hallways, surprising the pegasus into scrambling towards her acquaintance, to which he remarked, "You were sayin'?"

After an angry swish from her tail and a flicker of annoyance in her eyes, she sighed, "Just come with me, Mac. I've watched enough horror movies to know that the pony who's always saying there's nothing is the one who dies first."

He nodded agreeably, and began into the hallway she said her mystery man was passing through with her.

The hall became darker with each step, the dying light bulbs hanging aimlessly from the ceiling. The plaster was getting a dingy dirt look, while the tiled floors were separating and breaking to expose a moldy brown layer.

Upon arriving at the end of the corridor, she searched for anypony else, but to her dismay she was only met with further silence. "No! He was here! I saw him- and- and everything! I can't be hallucinating!"

"Miss Dash, relax, it's alright," the farmer comforted, draping a hoof over her shoulder before his eyes spotted something that would burn them for Celestia knows how long.

In one of the open rooms, there was something lying in there. Limp. A carcass. Maggots were wriggling in and out in a frenzy, as blood-stained bones being tackled by insipid rats gnawing about. The head was hardly identifiable, one eye socket empty, revealing blackened flesh, and the other with a glassy eyeball, just only hanging in. It was then ruined by the sudden pop of a worm munching its way through, a viscous trail of grey gunk making a soft plop on the floor. As for its body, the hundreds upon hundreds of larvae laid had already declared siege and ravaged it, leaving the body eviscerated and gutted in such a way no equine could ever have done. The belly was sloppy; intestines flopped around while the burrowing and feeding insects made tiny, insidious noises of arcane hunger. Even more horrid was the stench, as it reached Rainbow Dash's snout.

"What the bu- bu- oh, Celestia- Big Mac, what the buck is that!" she screamed as her line of vision made its way to the source of the rancid stink. She instinctively grouped closer to Mac, as he stepped forward and courageously nudged the door from ajar to wide open.

Hidden from plain view were dozens of amateur drawings, all created with what seemed was a make-shift brush of green hairs and a piece of wood, mostly fashioned by the corpse before she or he died. They depicted strange wordings and geometric shapes, like the phrase that was repeated most, "Don't look behind you," or a plain circle with an extending X being driven from the middle. But the most painstakingly detailed piece was on the left most wall, taking up the entire space- the effigy of a pony. But not just any pony. A stallion dressed in a suit, but with no face nor hair, and long, spindly legs.

Backing away in a hushed, low tone, Rainbow gulped, "No. This can't be. It was just an internet hoax! Slendermane isn't real!"

"Ah- Ah don't know what you're talking about, but we- we got to get outta here," the Apple rushed as he took her by the hoof and start to go go back where they came from.

Clip, clop.

The sound echoed in their ears especially, because they both knew that neither the other nor themself made it.

Clip, clop.

They both began to run, hormones kicking up their respective rates. Adrenaline was surging throughout Rainbow's body, taking a quick hold, so quick, in fact, that she did not notice a depression in the floor and stepped into it, tumbling foward.

Clip, clop. Clip, clop.

It was getting louder and faster as she lay on the floor, petrified by shock. Buck! This damn clopping is getting into my head, like- like- like the drumming in the Master's head, from Doctor Whooves! ... Wow. I'm making a TV reference at a time like this... I'm impressed.

On the outside, however, she was distressed, just trying to keep her magenta eyes straight as to at least be able to savour her last moments alive. "Go on without me, Mac! I'm done for," she cried out theatrically.

He stopped in his tracks, and with a heavy sigh, ran back to her, keeping his eyes on the ground until a familiar blue coat entered his vision. Wrapping her body around his neck as he would with his yoke, he continued running, as Rainbow scolded, "You bucktard, now we'll both die! I told you to keep going!"

It was near, so near, freedom, the hot, desert sun shining through the rusted frame.

Clip, clop.

One heavy thump from the creature, perpetrator, whatever, that was following them was all it took to shut the metal doors.

"No!" a panicked Rainbow shrieked.

It only gave the stallion more reason to find a way out. He ran faster, an idea presenting itself at the last minute.

"Big Mac! What are you doing? Stop!"

Faster.

"You can't open that just by ramming into it! That's not possible!"

He ignored her heeds and kept going. Some moments before making contact with it, he yelled, "Rainbow, shut your eyes," and shut his own. After a sharp stop he turned around and bucked it, with the monstrous apple-bucking strength that had gotten the colt so known before.

They split open, and he turned frontwards again, running back into open streets until he felt that they were safe. Dropping Rainbow gently on the side, Big Mac collapsed into a puddle of his own tired muscles and sweat.

She panted and attempted regaining composure, taking a deep inhale and exhale before finding Big Mac's forest eyes to start, "That was- that was so bad-ass! I'd hate to say it, but, damn, Big Mac! Talk about awesome! I didn't you had it in ya'!"

"Heh, uh, thanks," he muttered with long spaces, still in the process of getting his breath back. "Do you think that thing will still be after us?"

She stopped and took her chin into her hooves, glancing down. "I'm not sure. I only know the basic lore about Slendermane- like how, if you see him, you'll start to go crazy, and when you take your eyes off of him, he'll be nearer. And nearer. Until he gets you! But I've never heard anything about him making a clip-clop sound when he's coming for somepony..."

The two had only the sound of heavy breathing filling the air around them so when there was a course rumbling, Rainbow jumped up before realizing it was from her.

"You wanna find something to eat?" Big Mac asked her, getting onto his hooves as well. She nodded shamefully, a borborygmus coming to fruition again.

"Well, then, Ah think I saw some restaurants near the front, maybe they still have some good food?"

With growing smile and a fresh look on her face, she exclaimed, "Last one there's a rotten-"

"Don't ya' dare say 'apple'!" the farmer yelled, and getting the gist of it, was running at top speed alongside Rainbow Dash.

They ran, laughing alongside each other with a childlike glee they didn't think was ever possible after their short ordeal, and skidded to a stop when they saw a diner with food that seemed to still be at least somewhat fresh. Rainbow peeked through the browned windows. "Ooh! I see a pecan pie in one of those pie dishes!"

She jiggled the door before taking a good look at the lock and pausing. Sneaking a look at her back, Rainbow realized that she'd dropped her pillowcases of potentially useful objects back at the hospital. She strolled over to Mac, relieved he still had his bags, and took out a long bobby pin. Wonder why Braeburn had this of all things in his luggage. Whatever.

With a sharp crack, the pegasus broke it in two and went back to the door to pick it open. One soft push and the entryway was clear for anypony to come or go. She went in cautiously then made a straight shot for the pie when her companion stepped in her way.

"Yo, Big Mac, what's the deal?" Rainbow asked with a disgruntled sigh.

He held up a hoof to essentially shush her, and took the pie of its pedestal, before taking a complimentary cake knife and taking a slice. It revealed a maze of intricate swells and formations made from a grey matter.

A thick, pungent air whipped from it and invaded Rainbow's olfactory senses. "Ew! What the buck is that?"

"Ah think something bad came through this town, something mighty bad, and turned its folks ravenous." He prodded the slice with a stick, making it convulse in no ordinary manner a piece of pie should. "And this pie might be... Animal."

She gagged and waved him off on the details, saying, "That's disgusting! Meat is so weird! Ugh!"

With a shrug, the farmer placed the pie back along with the slice. "Ah dunno, but I have a feeling there may be some canned goods in the back."

Her eyes making out each little disgusting nook and crevice of the filling, she stuck her tongue out in disgust. "Ack, I'll die first before I eat meat. Let's go."

They entered, and the pegasus cried out in joy when she saw Big Mac's predication was true. Standing as a lonesome mountain were dozens of cans, all new and untouched, a welcome scene of silver and bright labels to the duo.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Food!" And from the corner of her eye, she spied a can of applesauce, further bellowing, "Applesauce! I love applesauce! And it's from Sweet Apple Acres! It's from your farm, Mac! Yes! We are so lucky!"

He chuckled softly, assenting, "Eeyup."

In a cavern deep underground, where ordinary pony could ever survive, was an ebony mare with lengthsome, scarlet locks that curled elegantly at the tips, lying beside a glowing orb upon a short pedestal. On her face was a mix of pride and regret.

"What did you do?" asked a booming voice from behind.

The mare's head swiveled around to see two ponies, one taller than herself, with black hair pulled away from her face and a silver coat, the other shorter, with luxurious platinum curls outlined by her golden fur. All of the three had stark red eyes, almost fire-like, engulfing their irises, and matching sets of wings and horns.

The black mare dipped her snout into her forelegs and shot a look of hostility towards the tall one, before just looking at the orb apologetically. "I couldn't leave them alone," she whimpered, with a muffled, "I'm sorry."

"Who?" the blonde asked, undeniably confused.

The redhead tapped on the sphere. "Braeburn Apple and Rainbow Dash."

The brunette eyed the mare suspiciously. "What did you do?" she repeated, emphasizing the last word strongly.

"I averted the Apple's path, so that the pegasus would instead be with another colt of my own... Preference." The last word came out of her mouth so effortlessly, but it had taken so much work within her to be able to speak it.

"Who?" The metallic pony hissed in careful yet snappish tone, spilling from the seams with a beastly and toxic rage.

"B-Big Macintosh Apple..." she trailed off.

There was an aching and seething fury in the tall pony's glare that sent the mare's formerly steadfast attitude away, instead sending her into a frenzy of fear and wariness. "Doom, what. Did. You. Do."

Chapter Four: Sweet Dreams Are Made of Bits

They ate what was going to expire first and delegated anything else alright in Big Mac's pillowcases, saving the best for last. Giving one last look around the room, the two left and searched town for what looked was a good place to camp out; after all, the sun had to begin setting eventually, what with all that excitement earlier that eventually died down to a good, ol' chatting and giggling. With the occasional arguments and snappy retorts, of course.

She argued as she turned against Big Mac to begin sleeping, "Star Wars was sooo much better than Star Trek, any day!"

"No way! Ah mean, was Paladin Skywalker becoming Dark Vader really a shock? You saw his cutie mark!" he refuted as he lay on the other half of the bed.

"Nightmare Moon, you are thick! It doesn't matter! What matters is that Fluke Skywalker found out Dark was his dad and they had a huge sappy moment in the end before Dark died!" Rainbow pulled the blanket more on her side, giving a grumble towards the stallion.

"Nnope. Star Trek will always better. They had emotional moments and moral situations. An' Spark! Spark will always be the best! He was so good even Haggard Coy, his actor, got his legacy!" He pulled it back to himself.

"Ban Solo!" On the moment she stressed the name, Dash tugged it back a tight grip.

Thus began a battle of their own, a battle of the wits, which science fiction franchise reigned supreme over the other, and the duvet. It ended, however, when Rainbow Dash turned to him with tired eyes and bopped him once on the snout, whispering before drifting off to sleep, "Star Wars infinity squared..."

Big Mac smiled and tucked her in, then took his pillow and settled on the floor. He thought about how they ended up there together, and let his mind run through what happened just two hours ago several times.

They found an old motel that appeared to be the least infested, but after searching all the rooms, the two could only confidently say one room was good enough for them. With a single bed tethered to the middle, heart-shaped with shades of pink and red assorted among the furniture, they wished it weren't so. It was, unfortunately, the single adequate place for them.

She'd repeated her orders plenty earlier- despite her sensitivity to touchy-touchy scenarios with colts, Rainbow wasn't selfish enough to force him to sleep on the floor. She wasn't, however, selfless enough to sleep on the floor herself. So the proposition was simple: just share the bed.

But Big Mac was a gentlecolt, he argued that it was alright, she could take it all. With the stubborn personality akin to Applejack's, Rainbow refused and forced him to share the bed, threatening that if he didn't, she'd tell everypony that he stole her from Braeburn when they were back home. Underhanded, yes, but it worked like a charm; Big Mac was apprehensive of how his sisters and Granny Smith would react if they found out about such a false rumour.

Glancing towards the snoring pegasus who quickly took up the space Macintosh left in his absence when he moved, he thought of his sister. They're so alike, yet so different... Ah can see how they become the best of friends not long after meeting each other. Ah wonder how Braeburn must be feeling right now. Mighty lonely and broken-hearted, I'd reckon. But Ah can see how he fell for her so easily... Those bright eyes a' hers are always so driven, and she has a damn well hidden side o' her... Ah wonder if anypony besides me has ever seen it before...

His eyes hovered over her unconscious form. Even asleep, drool all about her mouth and her body contorted in such a way that seemed impossible yet utterly comfortable, Rainbow Dash was gorgeous in a kind of whimsical way. He felt an urge to get up and wipe her hair away from her pretty face, and he was about to, but a small, nagging thought at the back of his head snapped the farmer back to reality. No, Big Mac, that's your little sister's best friend! An' she's not like you at all! Always so arrogant and prideful and full of herself! So brash and conceited. There's no chance anyways, she wouldn't ever go for a piss poor farmer like you...

He took back his hoof quickly as if he just touched a hot oven, and retreated to his spot on the floor. Just as he was settled, Big Mac heard something crash from outside. "Who's ther-"

A gloved hand forced a towel of chloroform into his face, the stallion's last image being of Rainbow still beautifully asleep, before going unconscious in the stranger's arms.

"Whoa. *That* was weird. Hey Big Mac, come on, wake up," the pegasus beckoned to her sleeping companion.

He only continued to stir, so she kicked in him the back and yelled, "Bucktard! Get off your lazy ass this instant!"

Macintosh got up startled, only to see his favourite pegasus, smile, and give her a quick peck on the cheek. "Ya' know you could've seriously injured my back, right, Poptart? I need that for plowing."

"But I didn't, so shut up about it, okay?" she said with a light blush as she wrapped her light blue wings around her special somepony.

He stroked them softly, making Rainbow shiver in pleasure. "Of course, especially when it's from a gal like you."

"It's too early Mackie, I need to go to my- ohhh- job now, remember? Ooh- Celestia, stop it, I- ahhh- I hate you so much!"

Pulling her in for a short-lived, but passionate kiss, he quipped, "But that's why you married me."

She beamed and punched him softly in the cheek. "And I regret it every day."

She left him in bed, where he plopped back down, wondering how he'd snatched such a wonderful mare like her. It was only a year- wait- or was it is a few months ago? It seemed like just yesterday, but that couldn't be.

Now that he thought about it, when did they meet? Right. It was at Sweet Apple Acres, when he saved Dash from yet another crash. Afterwards, it seemed like every other week, she was ending up near the farm in some kind of trouble, where Big Mac just happened to be, and he would nurse her back to health, or like the first time, keep her from getting an injury at all by jumping in immediately. Then Braeburn came one Friday morning. Something happened here, something there, and somehow, Rainbow and Mac had ended up in the desert, presumably miles away from Ponyville, and lost. They found an abandoned community- Celestia, the details were getting harder and harder to remember! - and they were in an old motel and he was about to fall asleep at last when suddenly-

"Buck!" he uttered. There was a sharp pain in his head. "Dammit, Ah need an aspirin."

He trotted out, passing a fluffy little cloud in the hall. Backtrot. "What the in Equestria?"

He prodded it warily, and it emitted a high-pitched, "Eep!" making him scramble backwards. Big Mac leaned in to poke it again when abnormally large black eyes opened themselves and stared at him. A smile curled, accompanied by tiny dimples, and it gave a little jump upwards.

"Uh, hello little cloud," the farmer greeted with an uneasy grin. I haven't even taken any aspirins yet... Did Rainbow put a hallucinogenic into mah dinner again? "AJ, c'mere a second!" he commanded.

A familiar brown hat bobbed up and down as the mare wearing it hopped up the stairs. "Something up, Big Mac?" she asked calmly.

"Are you seeing this too?" He pointed at the puff and she just giggled, making him raise a brow.

She petted it lightly, explaining, "It's just Professor Puffpuff, remember? Dash found it on one o' her adventures one time and brought it home to live with us! Unless you're seeing something other than this adorable li'l sugarcube."

"Nnope, I'm just a tad bit dazed and confused, Ah suppose." He was about to keep going down to grab some breakfast so the pills would work later on, when he paused and looked back at his sister. "When did you start wearing your hair loose?"

She looked at her untied blonde locks and chuckled, "Since forever, silly! Ah don't know how you of all ponies never noticed!"

With an unsure, "Eeyup," Macintosh left his sister to her own devices, trying to figure out why the headaches were coming back as well as why everything felt so unfamiliar.

Upstairs, after the stallion was too far to hear any of their conversation, "Professor Puffpuff" summoned a hand from his body and thumped the mare on the back of her head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Applejack rubbed the area as she looked to the creature for an answer.

"You blithering jackass," the cloud growled in a deep, scratchy voice, "you didn't do enough research! And 'Professor Puffpuff'? Are you bucking with me? That was all you could think of at the moment?"

The mare began, "Ah though-" when the thing shushed her and condescended, "Dear, I unfortunately require your services, so please, do not attempt to stress your delicate mind too much; it was a rhetorical inquisition, I have no need for it to be answered."

She furrowed her brows but began to walk away, still hearing the creature when he muttered, "I have to work with these impossible morons, of course."

"Alright, ponies, hustle up! I got the assignments for today from the boss!" Rainbow yelled, soon standing over her subordinates with a domineering stance and voice.

"Today, we're going to be testing our teamwork with a game of capture the flag!" she declared making some cower in fear and others jump up in anticipation.

She flew to the starting marks that loomed over the newly designed map. Envisioned by yours truly.

With a short briefing, Rainbow sent them away, keeping an eye on one of her favourite students. I still can't believe it! This is sooo super awesome! It still feels so strange to me, going to the Wonderbolts stadium, training the newbs before the season starts; and I can't wait until then!

She took a quick glance at the players, sure nopony was going to finish just yet, and went to an idle cloud not so far above. I don't even remember getting in. I mean, I do remember the first training weeks though, with the Lightning Dust scandal and stuff, but... Not the second... Whatever, Big Mac will be able to tell me what happened when I get home.

Heh, I miss him... How did we even get married? I- I know that I started getting feelings for him after the dozenth time he'd save me at Sweet Apple Acres, but it's not like I could act on it! I didn't even think he was interested in me... Then we were lost together... And we were in Coltergeist together... And then we-

"Ah! Buck it!" she hissed. "A damn migraine." Better go see Flutter or Twilight... She waved off to her second-in-command, and flew down.

"Hey, Derps!" Dash chirped as she flew past the blonde mailmare hovering around one of the houses on the outskirts of town. Wait a minute... Backtrot. "When did your eyes get better?"

"Whaddya' mean?" she asked.

Trying to be polite, she clarified, "Your eyes, they were a little... Wobbly?"

"Oh, I, um, got contact lens!"

"Uh, that's good," the rainbow-maned mare said with a crooked smile, and continued towards the center of town, deciding Twilight would be the better choice.

"You lumbering lummox! I can't be everywhere at once!" a cloud yelled at her, revealing itself to be "Professor Puffpuff" from earlier.

"Sorry, boss," the grey pegasus said.

It hit her on the head before leaving with an ill-mannered grumbling, "These milksops are too mentally retarded for me to handle."

"Hey, Twi- Mackie?"

The red stallion turned around and said with a smile to her scratchy voice, "Heya Poptart, whaddya' doing here?"

"Uh, some aspirins. My head started hurting over at the training grounds, but I didn't wanna see the nurse, so I went here."

He cocked his head and shot a strange look at her, saying, "Ah had some headaches back at the farm too, so I went here when I saw we don't got none. By the way, do you remember getting some sort of cloud thing from one of your outings? A 'Professor Puffpuff'?"

"Uh, no," she shook her head the absurdity, "I don't recall anything like that."

They stood in silence, combing through the other curious incidences from the day in their heads. "Rainbow, I heard you come in! And Big Mac? I assume you two came here for the same reasons, so why don't you come up here?" the unicorn's level-headed voice rang from her bedroom.

The couple looked at the other, shrugged, and went up, Big Mac taking a fast pace on the stairs as his wife simply flew upwards.

The door was slightly open, and as they peeked in, purple hooves grabbed them by the forelegs and pulled them inside.

"Ow, Twilight, what was- what is this?" Rainbow asked, looking around the room. It wasn't Twilight's bedroom at all. It was white, a pure, almost blinding white, and it seemed to go on forever, reaching no horizon in the far distance, but simply a blending of the dimensions. They looked around awe-struck before the unicorn reminded them of their purpose.

"Hey, Mac, Dash, stop looking around and listen to me," the purple mare snapped impatiently.

"Um, I- okay," Dash stuttered.

"Look. I don't have much time, so I have to make this brief. I am the personification of your consciousness. Yes, Twilight Sparkle for the both of you. Before you ask, Rainbow, I still remember that one time you wrote an essay describing everything you love about yourself then sent it to yourself as a secret admirer in hopes of deterring those stupid colts from still making fun of you in flight school-"

Mac laughed, making Rainbow punch him in the leg as she blushed furiously.

"- and Mac, the time Applejack found you in her bedroom dressed up in Granny Smith's clothes because you, quote unquote, 'wanted to see how it was like to be a mare.'"

Dash fell on the floor, chortling at the hilarious revelation, as her partner blushed an impossible shade of red.

"But that's not the point. So I need you to listen to me. You're trapped in your own minds. I can't tell you what they are- I don't know either- but I can tell you that something's wrong and you both know it."

She waved a foreleg towards her right side, making a black screen appear. It show a few seconds of static before taking a scene from Big Mac's memories. "Yes, you remember this, right? Well, after you left, this is what happened."

The duo watched in disbelief as the cloud grew a limb and spoke in its uncharacteristic pitch. She went next to them and began to show them other similar events, ending it with, "So, as your consciousness, I must advice you to stay away from any clouds or ponies other than me. And you'll know me from the nicknames I give you if I see you again."

"Yes, but I'm afraid you may be all too late to in revealing this," a voice spoke from behind them.

"You! Professor Puffpuff!" Rainbow shouted upon turning around.

The thing looked at her with dead eyes. "Please. Stop calling me that. It isn't the name my mother blessed me with."

"Then what are we supposed to call you? 'Puff the Magic Cloud'?" the farmer asked sarcastically, inciting an, "Oh, yeah," from Rainbow and a high-one.

She snorted, "Or how about the 'Terrifyingly Jet Puffed Marshmallow'?"

They gave a hoof bump, while Twilight spoke up, "Ooh, ooh! Um, what about 'Cloud Atlas'?" The three looked her without a word. "Gosh, I'm still Twilight, alright? I can't just turn into a comedian overnight," she muttered, rubbing her foreleg with the other.

The cloud shook itself, continuing, "Nonetheless, it was distracting. You may refer to I as Cornelius. Telling you Fillystines my last name would be useless, since I won't be meeting you again."

"Ha, and why is that?" the blue mare jeered, pushing her face into Cornelius's.

Macintosh pulled her back as it shivered from her breath. "Ugh, I can't believe one of you filthy mammals almost touched me! I'm glad I won't have to meet with you two again, since you'll be dead."

"Limbs!" he called out from behind.

Applejack, Rainbow's right-hoof pony, and Derpy appeared, morphing into replicas of the creature's hand. They attached to his body and he gave them all a couple seconds of stretching before knocking Big Mac off of his hooves with a sucker punch.

"Mackie! Oh, you-" and Rainbow was interrupted by a shot to her face.

"Ugh," a groggy Rainbow slurred, "what the buck happened?" She woke up to the sight of her companion being cradled on the neck by a hand connected to a fluffy, malevolent thing, and-

"What the buck! Stop it, you- you- Cornelius!" the pegasus yelled, regaining the recent facts, and spotting the knife in its left hand.

"Too late."

Chapter Five: Good Luck, Charley Horse

Big Mac looked at Rainbow and Cornelius with a sigh. He slapped the knife out of the creature's weak hands with his tied hindlegs and bucked its face the best he could in the position he was in. "Really, Dash? Ahm not that helpless, he just caught me off guard then," the stallion said.

He rolled off the bed and onto his hooves, pushing the limp, unconscious Cornelius away, and kicked the knife carefully towards the wall. He then forced two cherry cabinets together until the knife he got in between was upright and stable.

"Oh, right... Sorry, Mackie," she said, looking away.

The farmer was in the middle of cutting the rope binding his two hooves, instinctively replying, "It's alright, Poptart."

The two both paused at that moment, a heat rushing across their faces. "So, we were, uh, married there, huh?"

"Eeyup... Miss Dash," Big Mac added at the last minute, making the mare glance down disappointedly, as he saw in a glimpse when he looked at the heart-shaped mirror nailed to the wall.

She skipped off the bed when he motioned for her to, letting him untie her own hooves. "What do you think that Cornelius thing is?"

He gave a shrug, suggesting, "Ah dunno, but I think tying *him* up and pelting him with questions could be a good way to get things answered."

"Big Mac, I did not know you were one for torture!"

Ripping a long section off their bed sheets, he gave a mischievous smile. With Macintosh's mouth free and his hooves tying the creature all around a bedpost, he said, "This ain't gonna be torture, just some simple question asking. And not to be rude, but there're a lotta things you dunno about me, Miss Dash."

A glimmer of excitement in her eyes and sultry in her tone, she teased, "Well, can't I found out?"

They stared each other down, Rainbow Dash sporting flirty bedroom eyes and Big Mac wearing an air of smug coolness, trying to find a fault, waiting for the other to crack. Into a laugh? A fight? A kiss? Neither knew, nor did they find out because an accented voice spoke up in front of them and stole their attention.

"I feel this is torture plenty, truthfully. One would think witnessing a real-life love-hate relationship would be amusing but no, not really. I much rather fancy the chemistry on My Little Monkey, with Syanne Lash and Max Cores. Do you know that program?"

"Well, duh, of course I do! It's only one of the best cartoons out there, even if it's meant for kids! And I sooo ship them too!" Rainbow chirped, immediately shifting to their prisoner.

Big Mac put one last knot, then interrogated, "Who are you, and whaddya' want?"

"Now, we're being a pinch too hostile, aren't we? I believe you forgot the magic word."
Hints of annoyance already appearing in the farmer's glare, Rainbow jumped in, "Okay, okay, he means, can you tell us why you're here and what you want, *please*?"

"Thank you, my dear. I have a feeling we'll get along well, expect for that one incident back there. But as for him," Cornelius stabbed the stallion with his Parasprite-sized eyes in lieu of raising his boiling point, "I don't suspect any high regards for him from *me* any time soon."

Clearing his throat, he began, "I am from but a long lineage of proud and powerful Mementos*. There is no doubt within me that you have indeed heard of us, so I will clarify.

"We Mementos are, what you ponies would call, a villainous bunch. To us, it's just our way of surviving. Although, we do often add a little drama to spice up the taste. You see, our lives are of legendary length, yet we do everything and anything we can to go on. Our purpose in life is simple: thrive. We thrive by feeding. When we feed, we search for a victim, and upon occasion, victims, such is the case of yours. When a victim is chosen, we wait until nightfall to take him or her. I, unfortunately, am impatient, so instead of waiting hours for Macintosh here to have fallen asleep then, I just shoved chloroform into his snout. I then proceeded to tie you two up.

"Now, the what. We Mementos feed by doing a quite peculiar thing- putting ponies to sleep. We insert new memories. They can be the worst, like being in jail for seventeen murders you can't remember, and they can also be the best like yours was, married and having your dream jobs-"

Rainbow and Macintosh looked away from each other, a mixture of guilt and joy on their faces, but the part with joy was larger by a great amount.

"- but it doesn't matter, as long as a good deal of emotion stress, be it good or bad, is be released. And we let them live a life in their memories until they die of exhaustion, or we are satisfied, although the former wins out almost every time.

"Sometimes, however, rare as it is, we come upon victims who are... Curious. Like you two. They have curious minds, and they see when the tiniest of details are wrong, and with a strong enough consciousness, they can realize the facade they're under and wake up. When this happens, we try to nip it at the bud, so to say, and just kill them in the real life. We could just insert another set of new memories, yes, but they often turn out to just find things different all over again, thus making a finite and worthless chase. And for me to also wake up, since my sleeping state is necessary to influence your minds, I need to wake you then myself up. That was the position I was in upon your rises. Then this buffoonish oaf bucked me in the face! My beautiful, adorable face."

"And Ah didn't regret it one bit," Macintosh sneered.

The Memento's eyes squinted and he thrashed, "Limbs," expecting four sets of arms to coming spiraling out of his body, only to see them trying but not succeeding through Mac's tight wrappings. "Oh, you insignificant speck of dust!"

"Look who's talking, you- you talkative little life-sucker!"

Dash went between, saying, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'd hate to be the voice of reason here, but no need for fighting, alright? We can do that once we have all our questions answered."

They nodded obediently, but Mac threw his head into his forelegs upon stopping and thinking. "Celestia, Ah almost beat up a damn cloud!"

The creature scoffed, "You mean, again!"

The farmer raised a hoof, threatening, "Oh, do you want me to again?"

"I bet I could take you on when I'm out of these flimsy things, after all, I've knocked you out before haven't I?"

"That was a fluke! You just surprised me, dangnabbit!"

There was a giggling to the side, and they noticed that the cyan pony was laughing to herself. She saw their stares and said, "Oh, right, right, sorry."

The three mares stared intently into the orb, and the silver alicorn nudged the ebony one. "Was this your work, Doom?" she inquired.

She retracted her outstretched legs and held them up defensively, exclaiming, "No way, sister! This is all accredited that Cornelius thing. I had nothing to do with him!"

The golden mare piped up, "Are you sure, sister? It kind of seems like the typa' thing you'd do."

She gave an exasperated sigh, stressing, "No, I didn't, Fortune. It's like you guys don't trust me!"

The two metallic ponies gave the middle one a hard stare, making her add, "Okay, I guess that incident yesterday wasn't the finest example of my trustworthiness, but come on!"

The Memento had given the ponies information of how to find a map towards the nearest, actually populated city from Coltergeist. They were told of an old tourism center in the center of town, where there would be maps for anypony's taking, from places like Canterlot to Fillydelphia to Ponyville. At hearing the last location spill out of their hostage's mouth, anticipation filled them up and they smiled brightly at the aspect of getting home. They ran next to each other, hoping, hoping, oh, hoping it was true! Cornelius had protested their leaving of him still bound to the post until their return, but they forgot all about him as the rush of ecstasy kicked in, fantasies of seeing their loved ones soon again seeping in.

The door was a flimsy thing, immediately going down with a thud when Rainbow gave a soft knock. "So, Corny said that the maps are over there, in the back," she said, pointing towards a room behind the counter, illuminated by the first soft tendrils of sunrise.

Big Mac took his time in stepping in, taking the precautions to make sure the room wasn't booby trapped or hiding an unfortunate fate for them. Rainbow brushed by him, tested by his slow actions, and declared it, "Safe! It's alright, Big Mac, you don't need to keep walking around so slow. I mean, geez! You were starting to take as long as Tank does just to get to his food!"

He gave a deadpan frown and went in after her, taking in the surroundings inch by inch. The dust flowed through the air freely, moving a beat to their breaths, near, far, near, far. Things of all sizes and shapes were cluttered about, from a miniature French dictionary to a guide to different greetings all around the world to a perfectly preserved Twinkie, resting in a corner of spider webs and dead cockroaches.

"Ah-ha! The big iron box!" The pegasus spread her wings in anticipation, only to groan in pain and fold them back slowly. "Dammit, I thought it would be better by now..."

Big Mac skipped over next to her, taking a long look at the shiny container. "You don't think there's something suspicious about this?"

"As if! Why would Corny have something bad happen to us while he's still tied up?"

As worried as he was, the stallion had to agree with her on that. He reached for the lock as Rainbow watched from the side, energy almost spilling out from her as she pulled of a face of impossible feat, enlarged eyes, a huge grin, and hoofs squeezing the sides of her face. The waiting was almost killing her! Without realizing it, her breath was steadily increasing while Macintosh opened it, it second feeling like an hour.

Aaaaaaaaaaand, it was a pair of golden bracelets.

The pegasus stared at it blankly. "What! No! No, no, no! Where's the maps, the- the- the maps!" she yelled, stomping a blue hoof on the ground repeatedly even after it began to hurt, her eyes starting to fill with a salty liquid.

A teardrop broke the silence that was left when Rainbow stopped her bumbling, and the colt looked at her. The complete opposite of her appearance from only a few seconds ago. Her bright beam was replaced by a curve of the utmost down-trodden aching he'd seen. This mare, the one who was so absolutely like his own sister, inexperienced at the craft of hiding the outward signs of their raw emotion and ignoring them, was crying softly. Her mane became plastered around her sparkling, rose eyes as she stared on at the useless jewelry, not even lifting a hoof to wipe it out of her vision. She shook slightly, bursts of feeling sending waves throughout her body, now sagging as Dash let herself sit and her shoulder frame go down. Her colours faded; not enough to make her discorded, but just enough to make her polychromatic mane fall dead and dim, her suave, cyan coat becoming a muted grey-blue, and those eyes, those rebellious violets- they became a light pink that was dirty and thick, unbecoming on that natural beauty of hers.

Rainbow noticed his observing. "What, Mac? I- I'm just sweating from my eyes," she fibbed in that horrible way.

"You're not a very good liar, you know that Miss Dash?"

"I find out once a month at the Pinkie Poker Party, so thanks for pointing out the obvious, Captain Hindsight."

She expected him to go and leave her alone, something that every colt in her life seemed to do when pushed into a corner by her. The touch of a warm foreleg finding its way around her neck, firm but gentle, jolted her. Dash looked up with vexed eyes to find a welcoming smile full of comfort and care on Big Mac's face. She was about to say something, something witty or sarcastic or snappish, but she stopped herself. She let a grin crawl onto her mouth, her head of jumbled thoughts beginning to slow down and process the scene.

Her vivid colours flowed back in as she took hold of one of the bracelets with her mouth. "Might as well try it, right?"

If Fluttershy were an object, she would be this; simple yet amazing, the bracelets were glistening and polished, adorned with fragile leaves and swirls that fully encompassed every inch of its spotless surface. Every little detail hid another detail, pain-staking minute arches created by powerful magic, no less.

Taking one end with the corner of her hoof and the other vice versa, she slipped one bracelet around Big Mac's foreleg and had him do the same for her. She then flailed it around aimlessly, trying to kick start some dormant powers somehow. "Come on! At least do something!"

Dash gave a trembled pout as she gave up on the fruitless effort and walked out with the farmer at her steps. A, "So useless," escaped her disappointed expression as she trotted alongside him back to the inn.

"Maybe you just gotta wait. Either way, that damned cloud tricked us!" Macintosh cursed as he bucked the side of a hardware store, whose wall collapsed immediately after contact with his hindlegs.

"Whoa, there, big guy," the pegasus reminded, "we wouldn't wanna be attracting Slendermane, now, do we?"

He gave a soft but apologetic smile as he'd underestimated the strength anger gave him. The farmer chuckled, "Heh, sorry. Ah just don't like it when somepony- any*thing*, for that matter- pulls wool over mah eyes."

"Don't worry, Mac, I getcha'. And you know what? When we get back, I give you full permission to beat that cloud to a pulp!"

"Thanks, Miss Dash." He gave a tiny salute as she grinned at him.

A salute? Really? What a goof. But he had managed to get her back to normal. Which got her thinking to another earlier event.

"Uh, Big Mac? Could I ask you something?" she inquired in a low volume.

"Eeyup?"

"Earlier, in the dream-alternate-world-universe thing, you... You called me 'Poptart'. Why?"

He tensed, but quickly regained relaxation as he gave a shy, "You remind me of that Nyan Cat thing that Apple Bloom and her friends showed me once." A scowl hit him and he went on, "Not in the bad way, though. In the... Cute way. There something wrong with that?"

"N-no," Rainbow answered, looking away with her violet eyes as a hue of red crept on her face. "But ya' know, if you wanna... You can keep calling me Poptart."

The gears in the stallion's head stopped. He was blindsided, really, by the mare's uncharacteristic statement. But as soon as they began working again, he laughed, "Alright... Poptart."

However, all the while that Macintosh thought, Dash panicked both mentally and emotionally. It wasn't her intention to say that, no, not at all. But, once the words found her mouth, they just rolled out like butter. She didn't know what to expect from her best friend's brother as he remained silent beside her, not noticing her eager ears and frantic heartbeat, which, to her own senses, felt like somepony put it on a speaker, and she didn’t understand how Big Mac, being so near to her, couldn’t hear it! All settled within her, though, once the farmer finally gave her the unintentional relief of knowing she didn't turn him off because of her comment.

"Shut up... Mackie."

The rest of the walk was made in silence, with the periodic outburst of a discovery in one of the buildings. Soon enough, they arrived at the motel, ready to kick a certain cloud's ass, with the pegasus yelling, "Prepare yourself, Cornelius!"

But no one was there. Next to the bedpost was a piece of pink paper, which read:

Dear Rainbow Dash and Big Macintosh,

I thank you for your hospitality. "What?" are you asking yourself? "Why hospitality?"
Well, the reason is simple: I played you two like a full Mozart piece adapted for the violin. A very easy full Mozart piece adapted for the violin, that is.

You see, Mementos travel together in prides. Leaving is considered a taboo, perverse in just almost every single way, shape, or nature. And I left my pride.

Being out by myself was fun and all, but I was getting lonely. So I decided to signal my pride to find. However, to do that, I would need to replenish myself. And there you two were, such decadent, low hanging fruit, almost taunting me with your potential. I thought that I could just use the excuse that I became lost and forgotten at a stop one day.

So I took the bait and enjoyed it, until your conciousnesses (Is that correct? Oh, I don't know, does it matter? Blasted pens, can't erase anything!) revealed the fiction of it all. So what do I do? Pretend to try to murder you lot, of course! The perfect cover-up because you two would, no doubt, find a way to restrain me, leading me to give you false instructions under the pretense of running out of options so my pride could come and whisk me away while you were gone, believing that you were some vile, ignorant creatures who captured me for the sole purpose of torture!

...

But I grew a soft spot for you two. A weakness, really, but better to exploit it myself than to let somepony else. You could officially call me a Macindash fan now, for my ship-- (pause for dramatic effect, eh?) has sailed. Thus, I also let you two find a little present I found a long time ago in one of my many explorations of Coltergeist. Maybe this could help you two with sticking together through any bad luck?

Enjoy.

Sincerely,

Prince Cornelius Fitch Aristo Dormstand Bacchus the Eighth

P.S. I fixed up your possessions for easy travel. No need to thank me.

Dash and Mac stared the note. Then looked at each other. Then at the note again.

"Holy, shit!" she cussed.

They snapped their necks to each other and questioned at the same time, "Macindash?," and, "What now?".

They paused and thought about the opposite's query. They were good ones, indeed. The two were hoping to find a way to get home, but were stranded once again. And Macindash?

"I- how- we- no way! Macindash? Ha, that's... That's so dumb!" Rainbow prattled, stumbling over words as she went on. "I- I can't believe the nerve on that cloud! If I ever see him again, why I oughta- I just oughta pound his brains out!"

Mac nodded in agreement, "Ah'll help you."

The stallion went over the note again, studying every chosen word till the end, when he wondered, "But what did he mean 'bout the bracelets? They some kind of good luck charms?"

He turned to the pegasus who was impatiently trying out her wings once more, and upon deciding they weren't suitable for use, slung a pair of their makeshift bags on her back and said over her shoulder, "What are ya' waiting for, pal? Come on, let's get a move on while the sun's still up. Maybe if we just keep heading north, we'll find another town or something. And while we're walking, we could try to figure out what the hay these stupid things do!" She dangled hers for effect.

He shrugged and took up the other, which, as Cornelius had promised, was more organized and even in weight distribution than before.

And so, they took on the long journey, only stopping when Dash complained of an empty stomach five times in ten minutes, or Macintosh needed a water break.

The sun was setting when the duo finally found shelter. It was a mountain hidden by wild bushes, discovered by Rainbow as she looked for a suitable place to take care of business. The place was no cloud palace like the pegasus's; it was dark, damp, dirty, desolate. But it was a place to rest, and that won out over personal comfort to the both of them. They settled just as Luna was rising the moon up and Celestia was lowering the sun, a steady, reliable occurrence of each day. It was also what reminded both Ponyville residents of something crucial for the night- kindle.

Rainbow Dash volunteered. She reasoned with the facts being that she was smaller, faster, and almost as strong as him, plus, Mac needed to prepare their rations for the night, because if she did, that food would be wasted.

Out she went, running swiftly with the grace of a feather in the wind, but the speed of a tiger beetle. The farmer smiled at her multi-coloured trail, noting every little zigzag of it when she circled around a tree or cactus. She's still competitive even when there's no one to compete with.

Upon reaching a mentally appointed half-mile point, she took and caught her breath. But as she counted ten seconds, she felt the familiar sensations of a storm a comin'. "What the-" she managed to grumble out before looking upwards and seeing why she felt that way. "Oh, Celestia."

There was a dark grey cloud looming over her, portending a shower to water her down. "Oh, don't you-" And so it did, drizzling on the dead-eyed pegasus, who finished her empty threat with a dower, "-dare. At least I still have my dignity. And the wood should still be dry in my bag."

Back at their temporary hideout, Macintosh took out the can opener that was in the same storage room they found the food, and selected a beans and daisy package. "E-ques-tri-a girls, we are so magical, fine, fresh, fierce, we got it on lock," the stallion hummed without noticing. "Dangnabbit, Ah hate that song! Darn Pinkie and her catchy tunes."

Nonetheless, the stallion continued his humming as he opened the can, finding a practical use for the bracelet by hooking it around the curved knob and turning it that way. A rock fell on his head. "What the-"

He looked up and moved right in time as a massive chunk fell out of the ceiling. The rocks around it also began to disintegrate into a thunder around him. "Bahhh!" he jumped in shock, his voice shaking slightly at the end as he stepped back with a face of confusion. At first, he stopped to think about what to do and ultimately decided upon grabbing the bags and running out as the cave collapsed from inside. Ah gotta find Dash and warn her before she goes back by herself!

The water came down harder and harder, until the drops began to sting when they hit Rainbow. She was running at the top speed, but the cloud was following her! It was just one little black doing so much trouble, chasing after as if it had a mind of its own! If she could just fly, she would clear the hay out of that thing, but the pegasus was indefinitely grounded and reasoned with herself that escaping her inanimate assailant just long enough to seek shelter at their cave would be- Wait, our cave? Whoa, what am I thinking?

Before she had the chance to answer her own question, Dash crashed into something, something big. And red. "Ah! You- oh, wait, Big Mac? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the cave," she spoke.

"Ah was, but it suddenly started caving in on me! And when Ah finally got outta the wretched place, the earth beneath mah hooves began to crack apart!" he flailed loudly.

She gave a haughty chuckle, countering, "Well, big guy, aren't you panicking a lot? I should be the one, after all, some stupid cloud like something outta Maretrix starts chasing me and- and- why aren't I wet anymore?"

She glanced up and found that no longer was the cloud there; instead, it was just the clear night sky, gushing through.

Big Mac gave a laugh in reply, snorting, "Ya’ sure 'bout that?"

"Hey, what about you? It doesn't like there's a crack in the earth anymore!"

He looked behind himself and found her statement to be true. Yes, there was a crack, but it stopped a long time before he reached the blue mare.

"Why is this happening to us?" Rainbow Dash drew on like a scorned filly.

The two plopped down on their flanks and asked aloud, "What would Twilight do?"

They thought and thought and thought, eyes running from one thing to another until they both up and exclaimed, "The bracelets!"

"Cornelius wrote something about, about, uh... Staying together so we won't have bad luck?" Dash trailed.

Macintosh excitedly shouted, "Ah've got a theory!"

"Great, what is it?" She smiled widely at the prospect of figuring out what those stupid things actually did.

He ordered, "Stand up."

"Uh, okay."

"Stay there!" the stallion added, and he started run away from her, parallel to the mountainside.

Rainbow stood there, tilting her head in puzzlement as she stared at his dust cloud. She made a half-effort for a frown, muttering, "That weirdo."

Then, her coat felt damp all of a sudden, damp and frigid. She looked up, only to be blasted in the eyes with hard raindrops, making her hiss, "Ah, buck! Why is it back?"

However, as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared, right as Big Mac returned. "Did you see that? It came back!"

He nodded, slightly out of breath, but had a knowing smile as he panted, "Ah knew it!"

"Uh, what?"

"When we're too far apart, the elements start attacking us something fierce!" he explained.

The pegasus stared in him in silence until she sang, "Oh my goodness, Celestia, you're right!"

They jumped together in a tandem joy, bliss in solving a wicked, haunting curiosity that afflicts many in the same dilemma upon the solution. Soon enough, though, the reality of their new problem entered, bringing a downcast perspective on it.

"Right... So that means we're gonna have to be near each other from now on, huh?" Rainbow asked for assurance.

"Eeyup."

"Well, the cave's out apparently, so I guess we'll have to sleep out here, huh?"

"Eeyup."

She gave a weak, closed smile and declared, "Let's get ready, then."

Macintosh found the partially opened can from earlier and finished the job, letting his companion eat from the can until what she thought was plenty, then passed it to him. A bottle of water was drunk halfway, and the two, although, apprehensive, cuddled up to each other, for warmth, the knowledge of knowing someone was there, and perhaps, just perhaps, something else.

The two alicorns gave a straight, furious glare to the black mare between them.
She gave a frail eye roll, as if frightened to do so but still wishing to rebel at least the tiniest bit, and said, "Yeah, I guess I forgot about that one... Sorry, guys, all on me."

The silver one gave a scoff in disbelief of her shameless sincerity. "Fortune, my dear, it is not upon my grounds to step onto these boundaries that are so usually within yours, so I ask that you may resolve this with your specialty in my absence?"

The blonde nodded exaggeratedly with a sincere spark of life in her eyes, saying, "Oh, but of course! I haven't been out on the pony surface in the longest of times, not since that grumpy, old mule from Ponyville won the Equestrian lottery, no, no, no!"

"Great, so I assume this will be an easy duty."

"Yes, how could it not, Fate? Oh, I mean, sister!"

Fate beamed proudly at her obedient little sister, but slipped a disappointed pursing of her lips at her always against-the-grain sibling as she turned to face her. "And, Doom, I trust that you shall take time to consider the consequences of your actions?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, butterfly effect. Geez, it's not my fault Macindash is just infinitely and stupendously superior to Braebow," she sighed, walking from the room into one of the many branches leading into other such areas.

It was another morning, although what had just recently happened the past few days didn't allow them the benefit of that doubt. The rising sun burst forth its warm, bright arms to wash over the two, immediately heating them up from the, comparably, freezing temperatures of the previous night. Rainbow was the first to yawn and see the start of a new day, giving a sentimental breath for Ponyville and her friends. She messed with Mac's mane, leaving it a tangled bunch of messy, dirty blonde locks, and said softly, "Wake up, dude, we gotta get going!"

When he didn't stir, she punched him in the gut and screamed, "Come on, Big Mac, daylight's burning!"

He gave a sharp yell of pain and rolled over, and through clenched teeth, groaned, "Dammit, Rainbow Dash, alright, Ah'm getting up!"

"Oh, say my name again, it makes me feel and warm and fuzzy inside," she replied with such a thick sarcasm, one could only cut through it with a powerful chainsaw.

He looked on with a face of amusement and asked, "What's your problem?"

"Well, I was being nice, but you weren't waking up, so I hit you! And it worked, didn't it?" the mare implored.

"Yeah, it did, but why so angry?"

Rainbow was about to hurl a wave of obscenities and derogates at the idly waiting stallion when she instead sighed and puckered her lips into a strange sort of frown, confessing, "I haven't flown in days!"

Macintosh raised a brow and further inquired, "Yes?"

An onslaught of pink and red shot onto her cheeks as Dash tried, "I- I'm getting, uh, fat."

"Excuse me?" the farmer asked as she said the defining point of her sentence weakly and under her breath.

"I am... I'm getting fat!" she repeated.

He stared at her with a blank face until something inside of him switched on and Big Mac began to chortle wildly, dropping onto the ground from his evident amusement.

"Stop laughing!"

He continued. After a few minutes of stomach-wrenching laughter and a scowl on Rainbow's face, he got himself together and apologized. "Sorry, Poptart, Ah just didn't expect that! Ah thought you were all tomcoltish and didn't care about your looks!"

She turned away shyly and explained, "I don't! But, you know, a- a Wonderbolt needs to be fit! And, I... I still like to look nice, ya' know?"

Mac gave a compassionate smile and patted her, saying, "Yeah, Poptart."

She glanced back at him and beamed as well. However, that began to retract as she was pulled into his green, forest eyes. Slowly, their lines of vision linked, and the two were nearing the other's face, as if by some invisible string. Their snouts were close enough for their respective breathes to mingle and feel the heat, fur beginning to touch. Then, something blinded the farmer square in the face.

"Ack!" he let out unwillingly.

Rainbow immediately stopped and backed off upon realizing the situation. "Ahem," she muttered, and pushed the paper onto the ground so they could read it. She flattened the creases and began to grow a huge smile as she read the top of it.

"The Official Guide Map to Las Pegasus by the Stars."

Chapter One: Through the Grape Vine- Er, Apple Branch

The yellow colt strode through the hormone-riddled streets of Ponyville, looking casual with his signature Stetson and tawny mane. He bit on a strand of wheat and walked at an even pace, straight on the main street to the farm on the outskirts of town. Mares took notice, some glancing and looking away timidly before sneaking yet another peek at him, while others more brazen took to the streets to pepper him with inquisitions as to his business in the small town. But, lo and behold, he was soon ambushed by such a great amount of mares, that they blocked his way and he was forced to delay his arrival by detouring to a nearby café.

One flamboyant, pink pony bounced as she heard the commotion of a new pony in town, and was intrigued by the somewhat large mass of ponies huddled around the somepony whom she suspected of being the new colt. "Hey, everypony, look out!" she shrieked before lashed eyes glared at her then widened in fear. It only took one shot from her party cannon to get even the attention of the farthest pony in the area, involved in the gigantic hullabaloo or not. She waited for the combination of confetti, dust, and balloons to settle before speaking. "So, who's the new- waaait- ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh, it's you! Braeburn!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, lunging at him from what would've been impossible for any other Earth pony, except for, of course, Pinkie Pie.

He was in a defensive position to protect himself from the seemingly inevitable pain she would bring upon making contact with him. However, an aura of purple suddenly outlined the party pony and stopped her mid-jump before any trips to see Nurse Redheart were necessary. "Pinkie, it's always great to see an Apple drop by here, but there's no need to severely injure him," a calm, feminine voice spoke, who revealed herself to be Twilight as she stepped through the mob.

Trying to fidget unsuccessfully, Pinkie rambled, "But Twilight, come on! It's Braeburn! We haven't seen him since Appleloosa, do you remember Appleloosa, 'cuz I sure do, I mean, we all went there to help with the trouble with the buffalo and the land, but it turned out that the buffalo and the Appleloosans just needed a little time not to be biased and work out a compromise that made everyone happy and then we all went home, but before we went home, AJ and Rainbow decided to play around with Braeburn and- waaaaait, Braeburn, how's Little Strongheart!"

As Twilight began to set Pinkie down and let her loose, Braeburn blinked in surprise before finding the right words. "Well... Ah, uh, asked her out to dinner, an' we had a great time an' became real close. So, Ah asked her out sum more. But when Ah told her how Ah felt, she... Turns out, she don't feel the same way." He took off his hat and placed it on the table before leaning his head down on it sadly.

The mares, and a few colts, cooed in empathy, while one certain Berry Punch slurred loudly, "Thank Celestia, he's single!" a thought that passed almost all of those ponies' minds, but they had enough common sense not to announce.

"Well, what are you here for? A change of scenery?" the purple unicorn asked, ignoring the outburst and taking a seat next to him.

"To be frank," he began, inviting a memory of another colt stud into their minds, "eeyup. Ah luv her but Ah luv her, so Ah could not stand being there. Everywhere Ah went in Appleloosa, Ah was reminded o' her. So Ah called up mah cuz' and she said that it'd be swell if Ah stayed for sum while."

Pinkie began to jump joyously again, squealing, "Wait, wait, wait, you're gonna be staying for a few weeks? Eeeeeh! I have to hold you a party! Everypony, I'm gonna have a 'Braeburn's in Town to Mend Is Broken Heart for a Couple of Weeks' party tonight, at Sugarcube corner, seven on the spot!"

"Well, actually, Miss Pinkie- dat is your name, right? - Ahm only stayin' here for t'night and t'morrow then Ahm right back on the train t' Appleloosa. Ah may get uncomf'table stayin' there, but even Ah have mah apple duties."

A rose-schemed mare sighed happily and fainted, leading him to ask, "Is she alrigh-" before getting interrupted by Pinkie screeching, "Okay, I'll just change the name to 'Braeburn's in Town to Mend His Broken Heart For a Day or Two,' but don't worry, everypony, it's still gonna be at seven tonight!"

The ponies surrounding them started to celebrate ecstatically at the thought of having alone time with him, but as they did, nopony noticed Twilight whispering to Braeburn, "Hey, I know how crazy these girls- and, oddly, some guys- can get when there's a new colt in town. You want me to teleport you there?"

"That'd be mighty fine, Miss Twilight," he said, smiling, before a purpleness washed over and engulfed him, making the pony, in simple terms, disappear.

"Yeah, that's right! Woo, take that! Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh!" the cyan mare sang, doing a victory dance in the air.

An orange filly stared up in amazement as she gushed, "Wow, you're so awesome, Rainbow! I mean, that swoop, and then that swing and drop, flutter, barrel roll! Just- just awesome!"

"You don't have to tell me more than once, kid, I already know I'm awesome," she chirped, smiled smugly. She flew up then began to speed downwards, planning to barely make a sharp right only a few inches from the ground, when there was suddenly a lilac-hazed yellow mass with spots of brown in the very spot she decided on turning at.

"Ahhhhh! What the buck! Scootaloo, tell that idiot to get out of my way!" she screamed. Rainbow tried stopping but it was too late, all she could do was keep flying and hope for the best.

The filly and the colt looked up, confused, but the realization set in and they shrieked. He tried to start running, but it was only a matter of milliseconds until they would collide.

Dash closed her eyes as best as she could in the speed she was traveling, with only the small wish in the very back of her being that Scootaloo wouldn't have to see the massive bloodshed that was, unfortunately, inevitable. When she opened them, however, she was still alive, but her left side hurt a painful bunch.

With shocked, roseate eyes, she found herself pinned to the ground by something big. And red. No, not pinned. More like held down, but gently. Her vision cleared from her former thoughts of death to the stallion on top of her. His deep, grassy eyes were locked with hers as she realized just who saved her from the danger.

She lost herself for a bit until she remembered the compromising form in which they would have had to be in. "Uh, Mac? Big Mac? You could get off me now. It's not like I couldn't have saved myself," she claimed in a calm and slightly demeaning manner. Wait a minute, mouth; I was supposed to thank him! Oh, nevermind. I- I would've been able to save myself, after all... Hmph.

He kept his stoic expression, retorting with his even-tempered, Southern drawl, "If Ah had, both you an' Braeburn would be giant mounds 'a jello right 'bout now." She blushed in anger and rolled out from underneath once he let go of her legs.

When she saw sunlight again, a familiar face popped into view. "Hello, Miss Dash, need help gettin' up?" her hardly survived victim offered, handing her a hoof.

"Thank you... You," she answered in an unusually flirtatious way before sending Big Mac a stink eye for his earlier remark.

"It's Braeburn, Miss Dash," he helped, pulling his hat down on his face with pink coming to his cheeks. Rainbow giggled as she got up on her hooves, standing steadily.

From behind, Big Mac could only let out a tiny scoff. The nerve on that mare! Best friend of my li'l sister, buck that! This's got t' be- what? - the dozenth time Ah've saved her sorry flank only to git a sassy remark in return? And then she flirts with my cuz' right in front o' me for revenge when Ah talk back to her for the first time! Next time, Ah won't even look at her. That'll serve 'er right. But when Braeburn turned to the red stallion to give his thanks, he only acknowledged it with his trademark, "Eeyup."

The yellow colt returned his attentions to the blue mare and beamed, "Could Ah have the honour of walkin' you back t' the farm, Miss Dash?"

She replied with a playfully shy tone, "Of course, Mister Braeburn- but please, you can call me Rainbow or just Dash," giggling with as much affection she could muster up without retching.

Big Mac was left there, lone in the field as far as he knew, until there was a tugging on one of his legs. Adorable with a puzzled look on her face, Scootaloo asked, "What just happened?"

It was seven o'clock, and not a minute too soon. Ponies began to enter the shop, but even Sugarcube Corner's parameters couldn't hold all of them. Thankfully, the mayor let Pinkie line a block's worth with red tape to show how large the actual party could be allowed without actually being in the shop.

But it was an hour in and their guest-of-honour was missing, leading Pinkie to ask any and everypony she could if they'd seen Braeburn, to fruitless ends. However, as if summoned, when she finished interrogating the last pony, the colt appeared with a date that seemed to surprise more than just the Apples- Rainbow Dash.

"How in Eque- Rainbow, could I please speak with you in the ladies' room?" Rarity called over upon seeing the couple arrive together.

She shrugged to the colt, "Sorry, girl stuff. Probably about not wearing make-up or something, but gotta go anyways," before hovering over to the white mare.

"Okay, Rarity, what did I do wrong this evening?" Dash asked as she followed her into the restrooms.

Once they were alone, Rarity faced her friend with serious eyes before grinning widely and exclaiming, "Nothing at all, dear, I just can't believe you snagged such a colt as fine as him!"

"Gee, Rarity, way to make a statement."

"Oh, you know what I mean. So, what did you do? Ask him out? Ambush him? Stalk and corner him? Force him into a bargain to-"

"What? No! What kind of pony do you think I am? I just talked to him!" she defended.

"Just... Talked?"

She mocked in frustration, "Yes. Just... Talked. What, did you suddenly forget what those words mean?"

"No, no," she explained, "I'm just rather... Shocked."

"Shocked? What's there to be shocked about?" Rainbow eyed suspiciously.

With a nervous laugh, the violet-maned mare tried, "I, uh, well, didn't think- oh, dear, how do I put this delicately? - you were fond of colts. Yes? Yes, that's sounds quite right..."

"What? You're making no sense, Rarity!"

"I thought you were a fillyfooler!" she shouted as other ponies entered the room, allowing everypony in the vicinity to hear her confession. The pegasus stood there, locked in position with a look consisting of shock and confusion mixed together. "Uh, d-darling? Hel-lo, are you alright? Oh, don't tell me I broke her..."

But to the surprise of Rarity and the ponies watching and eavesdropping, she suddenly dropped down on the floor and started laughing violently and even wheezing for air, saying after her fit of sorts, "Oh, Rare, are you serious? Celestia, you crack me up! I can't believe you actually thought that!"

"Ah, yes, ha-ha, ha-ha," she let out awkwardly with an insincerely comprehending smile.

"Wait, Rarity, why did you think that?" Rainbow questioned once she regained her composure.

"Well, Dash, you're something of a tomcolt. You hang out with guys all the time; sure, you have us, but we're the only friends of the same sex you have. And then, you're incredibly athletic, always flying or playing, rarely taking time to indulge in the feminine desires."

After giving a long pause, Rainbow yelled, "What! You know what, I'll prove you all wrong, then! Hmph!" and she left the unicorn by herself, only able to mutter, "Oh, dear, this is quite a dilemma..."

The pegasus bumped into Macintosh upon exiting. He expected an outcry like, "Hey, watch where you're going!" to come out of her mouth, but to his surprise, when he looked at her, her eyes were big and watery, so unlike the same eyes she'd glare at him with before. She suddenly hugged him tightly, prompting him to ask, "Uh, R-Rainbow, are you alright?"

He heard a sniffle, followed by, "No, not really," and a dejected chuckle. "I thought it was all gonna finally stop when I left flight school, when I moved to Ponyville to start over. But I guess you just can't shake your past, not matter how hard you try. Whatever I do, be the Best Young Flyer, an Element of Harmony, my achievements will always be outweighed by my past. It all comes tumbling back eventually..."

He glanced down. She'd dug her face into his coat, warm, soft tears flowing down her cheeks. Mac sighed. Damn it, Ahm not supposed to help her! But, she's real distressed right now... And contradictory to his earlier thoughts, he said, "Rainbow Dash, look at me."

She only nuzzled herself further as a reply, so the stallion cupped her chin and moved it upwards, forcing her to look at him. "Ya' can't let this rule your life. This is only what others think 'a you. What do you think 'a ya'self? 'Cuz Ah was pretty sure you are a sporty, confident pony who could fly faster than any other pegasus in Equestria, frilly frau-frau make-up and dress or not. You make yourself, Dash, so if ya' believe that you are just some useless fillyfooler, might as well have everypony call ya' that 'cuz you ain't ever gonna let it go. But just as long you don't believe it, nopony else will."

With her bright magenta eyes, she hesitated, "R-really? Do you really think that? I mean, after all the grief I've put you through, you're still gonna- my Celestia... I'm so sorry, Big Mac. All this time, I've been so demeaning to you, even after you've saved me from danger- what? - more than a dozen times now? And you still had enough pity in yourself for me to give me a pep talk! Th-thank you, Big Mac. Really. You're just what I needed."

Dash hugged him tighter with an honest and sweet smile before her eyes flared open and the red across her face become red because of embarrassment, abjuring, "I mean, that was just what I needed. N-not you."

The Apple only chuckled and messed around with her rainbow-coloured mane, before leaving her with a, "Eeyup."

Slightly flustered, Rainbow called out with a low but audible voice towards his direction, "Seeya' tomorrow, Mac..."

A yellow colt met up with her, asking as he offered her a glass, "So you're finally out, eh? Want sum cider?"

Dash's eyes flashed over Braeburn's, then Big Mac's as he gave an understanding look upon turning back at her. "Um, yeah, thanks, Burn," she said with a disappointed smile.

They linked forelegs and walked out of the shop, while Big Mac watched them leave and glanced at his hooves in a corner. He uttered, "Eeyup..."