Chapter 1: Solo, or The Dusty Diplomat
A powder blue unicorn squinted into the dusty sunset before her and sighed into the purple bandana she’d wrapped around her muzzle.
"The charm of this place is wearing pretty bucking thin." She muttered, surveying the desolate landscape. A game of I Spy would get very old very quickly in a place like this. There was D for Dust and Dirt and Damnable-endless-sameyness, and that was about it. The Badlands weren’t known for their scenery, but that wasn’t why she'd decided to visit them.
She’d come for knowledge, and she had a feeling that her patience and perseverance would be rewarded. That was the sort of thing that happened to ponies who embarked on epic quests for knowledge, wasn’t it? That, or they died. And I certainly won’t be doing any dying. "What sort of idiot couldn’t survive a little desert?" She asked the dusty air.
"Stay hydrated." She began, lightly kicking her barrel of water. "Stay rested." She continued, leaning back and stretching as luxuriously as she dared over the bare wood of her spartan little wagon. "And don’t travel alone." She concluded, smirking at the timber wolf she’d bamboozled into pulling the wagon. The wolf seemed to realize he’d been mentioned and looked back at his Great and Powerful captor, growling and snapping his teeth.
"Hush." Trixie waved him off. She was fully prepared to urge her borrowed beast of burden onward, but she considered the setting sun and thought better of it. Don't want to be caught in the dark. She pulled the wagon to a stop and started to set up camp for the night, staking the wolf to the ground with a lock she could operate from a distance and creating a transparent bubble around the top of the wagon to keep the heat in.
Now for the tricky part. The infamous performer closed her eyes and stretched her mind to the desert around her - she imagined something close to a hundred foot radius - and willed it to be hers. She opened her eyes and found that the light of the dying day was warped at the horizon - the perimeter was up. Still, one couldn't be too careful. She hopped off the wagon and trotted out to touch it. As soon as her hoof passed through the shimmering veil, she felt a prickling on her scalp that would be impossible to ignore.
Success. "Was there ever any doubt?" She asked herself smugly, returning to the wagon. Finally, just as she was ready to retire for the night, she tended to the wolf, pouring him a dish of maple syrup and levitating it into his reach. He sloppily devoured it, just as he'd done last time.
Trixie woke with a start to the sensation of her perimeter spell going off. "No no no no no!" She hissed, leaping to her hooves and turning a circle in a low crouch, preparing to unleash some intimidating magic on whatever creature had been foolish enough to approach her.
Her eyes darted back and forth. The sun was nearly all the way up. It was just the wagon, the draft wolves, and miles of dusty, cracked earth in every direction. Nothing.
That only left one option. She jumped off the wagon and sent a barrage of fireworks underneath it, confident that she had roasted whatever lay beneath before she even hit the ground. She summoned a powerful wind to clear the smoke, grinning fiercely and preparing to gloat over the singed carcass of some nasty desert predator, but when the smoke disappeared, so had the intruder.
Trixie frowned and jumped back onto the wagon. Best to have the high ground while she formulated a plan. She scanned the desert for movement, her eyes slipping past the two timber wolves curiously sniffing one another-. "Wait." She said flatly. "Two?" She suddenly had two timber wolves, though only one was wearing a harness. "Well, I think I was making that a little harder than it had to be." She muttered. Still, she smiled. Timber wolves were native to forested areas, or places that actually had timber - not the desert. That could only mean one thing. "I've got a change-ling." She sang under her breath.
She prepared to cast the spell to break a changeling disguise - one that every competent unicorn had learned practically overnight after the invasion - but paused. That wouldn't be very diplomatic, would it? She decided to try a different approach. "You there." She pointed to the new timber wolf. "I know you're a changeling. I just want to talk to you. You can drop the disguise."
Trixie's speech distracted the fake from his introduction. He stopped mid-lick, confusing the real timber wolf who had been interested in the newcomer and the possibility of escape. The fake backed away from the harnessed wolf, stepping out of his reach before going up in a burst of green flame. The real timber wolf was understandably disturbed by this, yelping and whining at what appeared to be an unprecedented spontaneous combustion. The wolf quickly changed his tune when he saw a changeling calmly standing where his new friend had been, and he snarled in disapproval.
Trixie, meanwhile, grinned appreciatively at the transformation. She removed her bandana and pointed imperiously to herself. "Now do me." She watched as the changeling's black skin burned away to reveal her own blue coat.
"Not bad!" Trixie stepped off the wagon and approached what she had to admit was perfect mirror image, applauding the illusion.
"You’ve got skills, and I respect that. But you were born with those skills, and I consider that cheating." Trixie stared the changeling down like a disapproving schoolmarm, but soon cracked a smile. "I also respect cheating." She whispered conspiratorially. "I think we'll get along fine" She smiled greasily. "I came to propose a trade. Your skills for mine?"
"Ssskilllls." The changeling hissed in a poor imitation of the showmare’s famous voice.
"Yes, that’s what I said. You have skills, I have skills, let’s trade." She summarized with a salespony's smile, pumping a hoof in the spirit of camaraderie.
"Skills." The changeling repeated. The hiss was absent this time. It seemed he (or possibly she?) had gotten a better feel for Trixie’s voice. "Trade." It said.
"Yes. Trade." Trixie repeated, blinking slowly. Her smile began to fade.
"Traaaade." The changeling repeated once again, squinting and rolling the word around with its tongue to really get a taste for it.
Wonderful. I guess it thinks it has the upper hoof somehow - playing hard to get. Well, these foals have no idea what the Great and Powerful Trixie is capable of when the very art of illusion is at stake! "I see." Trixie said slowly. It was time to negotiate. "Well, perhaps my skill set isn’t exactly in demand way out here in the wastes... but isn't there anything else you’re interested in?" She tossed her mane and let the question hang in a way she imagined was quite seductive. She didn’t know if seduction was really necessary for a race that fed on love, but she was willing to put in the effort if it was required.
The changeling appeared to nod in understanding. Trixie smiled triumphantly. It’s not as though a passionate interlude with myself is a distasteful prospect, after all. She was about to ask the doppleganger if he wanted the cape on or off when her copy cocked its head to the side. "Traaade?" It asked uncertainly.
The real Trixie’s face fell. "You have no idea what you’re saying, do you? You’re just flapping my mouth, aren’t you?" She deadpanned.
"Trade!" The changeling nodded enthusiastically.
"Fine." Trixie huffed. "Take me to your leader." She demanded. "Or elementary teacher. Whoever keeps you from eating paste." She finished under her breath. The enchanting fake blinked owlishly. "Lead on, you sexy beast!" Trixie commanded impatiently, shooing the dimwitted copycat away. The changeling started walking and Trixie followed.
Eventually the two arrived at a hole in the ground. The changeling pointed downward, gesturing for Trixie to go inside. "After you." Trixie insisted. She wasn’t about to turn her back on him. Her likeness was consumed in a burst of green fire, only getting halfway through an eye-roll before the line of encroaching flame reached its face and turned its eyes solid green. The naked changeling began to lead her down the dark tunnel.
"You know, I’m tired of not having anything to call you. And I can’t call you Sexy anymore since you aren’t now, so what’s it going to be? Any preference?" She asked. The changeling gave no response other than a sidelong glance. "If you don’t speak up, you might not like what I pick." Trixie sing-songed.
The changeling had been listening to Trixie speak, and one could almost imagine that he was making an effort to understand her. Trixie had nothing better to do, so she kept trying. "What is your naaaaame?" She drew out the last word, hoping it was one he’d heard before.
"Name?" The changeling repeated, gesturing at his own chest with a heavily perforated hoof.
"Yes! Sweet Celestia, progress! What’s your name?" She demanded.
"Burt." The changeling answered proudly.
"Burt." Trixie repeated.
"Burrrrt." Burt nodded, excited that the strange pony was able to pronounce something that must have sounded so foreign to her.
"Burt, do you ever get the feeling you might have been adopted?" Trixie asked with total seriousness and not even a hint of tact.
Burt just shrugged and smiled toothily, never breaking his stride.
Eventually, Burt led Trixie to an opening where the tunnel appeared to branch. Several changelings were engaged in an idle conversation of hisses, clicks, and the occasional wet raspberry. It seemed that this junction was the changeling equivalent of the office water cooler. The group reacted with surprise to Trixie, cautiously gathering around Burt and the curiosity he'd brought into their midst.
"I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, and I am here to learn your illusions!" Trixie decreed.
"Great and Powerful Trixie!" Three copies of herself suddenly shouted.
"Illuuuuusions." Another doppleganger repeated.
"Illushin." The one next to him attempted.
"Illuuujon. Jon." One of the mob of Trixies corrected.
"How do you impersonate somepony long enough to steal love if you can't even talk to them?" Trixie wondered aloud. "I'd really love to find a changeling who speaks Equestrian." At this, one of the Trixies ran off as if he'd understood her and knew exactly where to find such a bilingual changeling.
A few minutes later, Trixie and the changelings were warming up to each other, though in the changelings' case that was probably mostly due to the language barrier.
"Forget magic, I’ll just bring a big bunch of you bugs back with me! The crowd will love it! Love is what you’re into, right?" She asked the changeling mob. They ignored the question and continued cavorting in her skin. "The Great and Powerful Trixie, now with twelve hundred percent more Trixie!" She boomed, gesturing grandly as if she could already see the amazing new show she'd create. "Although I'll have to figure out how to fit everypony on the wagon. I might have to start stacking you like firewood." She mused aloud. "Wait, what am I saying? I'll buy more harnesses and you can all help pull!" The showmare declared magnanimously. Things were looking good.
The changelings cycled through various minor changes to her anatomy and appearance, their bodies constantly in flux. They rendered her as a pegasus, an earth pony, a very small alicorn, and even as some kind of lizard-pony with a coat of iridescent scales. There were so many versions of herself milling around that she was having trouble watching all the action. "I could do some real death-defying stunts with all these backup copies..." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "I could put one of you through a woodchipper - LIVE, ONSTAGE - every week and still have enough of you to last me until spring!" The idea was so exciting that she did a little jig on the spot.
"If that's the sort of thing you're likely to do, then you're leaving empty-hoofed." A voice with an odd buzzing quality came from behind her.
Trixie turned and found herself face-to-face with an undisguised changeling who looked exactly like the others, apart from what Trixie assumed to be a look of cautious amusement.
"Are you the king of the changelings?" Trixie asked in a way that suggested she wouldn't be that impressed with a positive answer.
"King? Ha, no. We have a queen. Rather, we had one..." He trailed off with a frown.
"Well, are you in charge?" Trixie demanded impatiently.
"No, no changeling here is in charge. We have no leader right now. Not since the failed coup in Canterlot." He spat.
"Sore loser?" Trixie asked.
"No, just wish the queen had tried something a little less balls-out insane. She made the mess and now we're all lying in it." He smiled wryly and offered Trixie a piano black hoof. "You can call me Dazzle. That's the name I go by when I haven't borrowed somepony else's." Trixie accepted the hoofshake. "I hear you came to trade? I'm afraid we're not likely to have anything you want down here." Dazzle said apologetically.
"I beg to differ. I'm here to learn the secrets of changeling illusion magic." Trixie replied with no small amount of self-importance.
Dazzle's eyes grew wide with mirth, though he nodded his head in polite acknowledgement of her plan. "That's a new one."
"I would imagine so." Trixie smiled smugly. "I'm willing to trade tutelage in MY Great and Powerful illusions for lessons in your changeling magic."
"Huh." Dazzle continued nodding slowly until his head came to a halt. "Why?" He inquired, squinting at Trixie with distrust.
"Because, if I want to put on the Greatest show in Equestria, then I have to pull out all the stops, don't I?" She asked rhetorically. "As soon as I saw what your kind could do, I knew I had to learn your tricks. The act I could put together with that kind of magic..." She paused, seemingly overcome by emotion. "...would be the most amazing thing ever witnessed by pony eyes!" She heralded, fireworks exploding around her as she reached in triupmh for what would normally be the heavens, but was currently the roof of a dank cavern.
Dazzle and his brethren simply blinked at the display. "Force of habit." Trixie panted, coming down from her excitement. One of the fake Trixies cautiously poked at a piece of glowing shrapnel from the pyrotechnic display, wrinkling its nose at the smell of the explosive.
"Where were you even keeping that?" Dazzle wondered aloud.
"Inside the hat. I keep enough firepower in here to blow up a bridge." Trixie bragged, prodding the hat with a hoof.
"Why?" Dazzle coughed as a tendril of smoke from the fireworks found its way to his muzzle.
"Sometimes a pony just has to blow up a bridge." Trixie croaked as the smoke began to reach her as well.
"Does that happen often?" Dazzle asked with deep concern.
"Not often." She said defensively, summoning a breeze to carry the smoke back the way they'd come. "Sometimes, though..." The showmare's eyes slipped out of focus. "Sometimes it's all you can do." Trixie's eyebrows knitted together as if she recalled such an occasion. "Those koi were probably fine. Fish love nitrates, right? I'm pretty sure they do." She muttered to herself. "Moral of that story: Never work a cuteciñera at a house with a koi pond." She concluded.
"Wise words." Dazzle agreed, trying to hide his amusement. He privately wondered if it was really necessary to bring high explosives to a foal's coming-of-age ceremony, but kept his mouth shut.
"Speaking of regrettable tactical errors, what exactly was your queen thinking, attempting a full-scale invasion of Canterlot?" Trixie inquired. "It's not as if frightening us all into submission would encourage anypony to love you."
"That's true, although fear is an alternative source of food for us. Far less than ideal, but it'll keep us from starving. She didn't plan to rule through fear. She had some sort of long-term plan for replacing the Sun princess and soaking up the admiration of ponykind. I think she intended for the invasion to be erased from pony memory, but that clearly didn't pan out." He sighed at the loss of the thousands of changelings who'd been foolish enough to follow the queen, only to be scattered to the four winds when the plan failed. "So what's your game? You're some kind of magician?"
"I am a master illusionist - the Greatest kind of magician." Trixie swelled with pride.
"So you really came all this way to visit a bunch of evil changelings and learn some magic?" Dazzle demanded incredulously.
"I've done crazier things in the name of putting on a show." Trixie bragged as she nonchalantly polished a hoof.
"I bet you have." Dazzle chuckled. It made no sense at all, but he could tell that the strange magician was telling the truth.
"And for the record, I don't think you're evil." She appeared as though she'd had a moment of extreme cleverness. "If you were, I imagine you would've jumped me the moment you had me surrounded, hm?" She theorized. Dazzle gave no response other than a slight droop in his posture. "I don't think you're evil." She repeated, the boastful edge fading from her voice. The other changelings had been reverting, one by one, to their natural forms and had gathered to observe the conversation between their ad-hoc leader and the pony who didn't fear them. As Trixie went on, they grew still and quiet.
"I think you're hungry. Nothing grows here, so nothing lives here... except you. There's no sustenance here, and I bet going out isn't as appealing as it used to be, is it?" Dazzle shook his head. "That's what I thought. I know the difference between evil and hungry. I've been hungry before." Her tone was sincere and perhaps even a little regretful. Dazzle had a strong feeling that Trixie wasn't merely referring to the hunger of an empty belly. "So what are you doing for food these days?"
"We're still trying to figure that out. We know things can't keep going the way they were." He concluded grimly.
"Well, can't you just rely on subtlety like before? Go out and..." She struggled for words. "Find somepony who wants company?" She finished uncertainly.
"I don't know." He shook his head hopelessly. "Every magic user I meet will be able to strip my disguise away. Why take an unnecessary risk on a new acquaintance nopony seems to know? Going out among ponies isn't much of an option now, unless you want to provide the introduction." He looked to Trixie, who looked as though she was actually considering it. "I suppose I could do the 'dog in a nursing home' bit again." Dazzle heaved a sigh. "It's usually an easy gig, but the smell... I HATE old pony smell." He cringed.
"You pretend to be a dog?" Trixie guffawed.
"An adorable dog." Dazzle corrected. "If you met me as a dog, you'd pet me. I guarantee it." He pointed a black hoof accusingly at the dubious showmare for emphasis.
Trixie shrugged in surrender, conceding that the changeling would probably make an excellent dog. "I could help you find some food, if that's what you want. We could walk to Dodge City and hit the saloon. I'll be your wingmare." Trixie teased.
Dazzle smiled wryly. "Dodge City is on high alert since the news came out that we live so close. I appreciate the offer, though."
"Well, what about the offer I made to your friends, here?" Trixie gestured to their silent audience.
"They're my brothers, and I believe you offered to end our suffering with a wood chipper..?" Dazzle trailed off uncertainly.
"No!" Trixie waved the idea off as if it had been somepony else's. "That was a joke. I mean you could come on the road with me - become part of my act. I can only imagine the sort of illusions we could pull off together - the Great and Powerful Trixie and the secret changeling!" She whispered dramatically. "That's got a nice ring to it, even if we can't put it on a poster."
"Hmm." Dazzle poked at the ground and took a long look at his brothers. "It's not as though it would be my first performance gig - I've been in bands before. A warmed-up crowd is a nice meal." He smiled at the memory of his last time on stage.
"You were in a band?" Trixie was delighted by the idea that Dazzle had commanded an audience and made a living on their admiration. "What did you play?"
"I didn't play. I sang. We usually end up singing since - as far as pony ears are concerned - a changeling has infinite range." A small measure of pride had slipped into Dazzle's voice.
"That must be handy. I imagine you can match any style that way. No band could resist you." She was impressed.
"Well, a couple did, but they were definitely the exception." The changeling allowed. "So the crowd really loves you?"
"They can't get enough of me." Trixie stomped a hoof for emphasis. "Is Appleoosa far enough for you? We could make it a full tour if you're up for it." Trixie was ready to leave as soon as possible.
Dazzle considered the offer in silence. To Trixie, it felt like a very long while. She could swear he was staring her down as if looking for something - perhaps some kind of weakness or a sign that she couldn't be trusted - but she couldn't be certain with those strange eyes of his.
Finally, he spoke.
"I suppose hitting the road and joining a magic act is as good a plan as any." He smirked. Before Trixie could congratulate him on his wise move, he spoke again, this time more seriously. "I just need to be sure of something before I commit to this." He took a deep breath and released it slowly, deciding how best to approach the issue. "It's a long way to Appleoosa. It's just going to be you, me, and the road for quite a while. And normally I wouldn't be worried, since friendship is a nice, steady meal when you can get it - much less intense than love, but it'll certainly keep us going -" Dazzle was starting to ramble.
"But?" Trixie prompted.
"Well, the thing is... I haven't gotten a whiff of affection from you since you got here." He said delicately. Trixie's face quickly shifted to indignation, but Dazzle was ready for it, holding up a hoof to forestall her protest. "And I know we've just met, but that's abnormal based on the ponies I've encountered in the past. I mean, no offense, but you're a bit abnormal. You crossed the Badlands by yourself to make a social call on an enemy of the state." Trixie took a short break from looking miffed to raise her chin smugly. "If we're going to be on the road together, I just need to know it'll be worth my while."
Trixie was taken aback by the question. Dazzle's tone had been apologetic, yet he refused to break eye contact while he waited for her response.
"I'm sorry." Trixie replied with genuine regret, and Dazzle found himself surprised at her sincerity. "I've been traveling solo for so long..." She shook her head slightly as if admonishing herself. "I just need a little time to warm up. It'll happen, I'm sure." The showmare's confidence was more tempered than usual as she tried to offer her new partner a reassuring smile.
"Alright then." Dazzle returned her smile. It seemed he'd decided to trust her.
Author's Note
What does everyone think so far? Let me know if you find any errors. Chapter two will be fun. In the tradition of Speed Racer, adventure's waiting just ahead.
On the Rocks
Dazzle informed his brothers that he was leaving. He spoke in their odd changeling tongue, occasionally gesturing to Trixie or the surface, pausing at one point to address Trixie directly. "Can we be back here within a month?" He inquired. Trixie nodded hopefully and Dazzle returned his attention to his gathered family, who reacted with surprise, then sadness, finally settling on stoic acceptance. Trixie got the impression that they didn't want Dazzle to go.
The changelings walked with Dazzle and Trixie all the way to the tunnel’s entrance where they paused to say their goodbyes, which were, for the most part, silent. Dazzle’s brothers gathered around him, each touching him on the shoulder with a hole-filled hoof before shuffling back down the tunnel.
"How did they take it?" Trixie asked apprehensively as they climbed into the blinding sunlight.
"They'll survive without me for a while." Dazzle answered with conviction. "And they know to keep an eye on Burt." He muttered as an afterthought. "I told them I'll come back within a month and share whatever I can get."
As Trixie led the changeling toward her wagon, she tried to puzzle out exactly how one would share such intangible goods, but decided that, for now, she preferred not to know. As the wagon came into sight, the showmare let out a cry of frustration. The wolf had gotten into the syrup supply and had its muzzle buried in the jar. "Well it's a good thing I bought the economy size. Otherwise how would you fit your whole head inside?" She asked sarcastically.
Dazzle merely gawked at the spectacle. "When Burt said that you'd brought a timber wolf, I assumed he meant one was stalking you." He shook his head in silent wonder.
"You're with the Great and Powerful Trixie now. Assume only Greatness." She boasted. "Besides, this one isn't bright enough to stalk anypony. If he was, I doubt he'd be in a harness." She tittered.
"So he's just been pulling you the whole way?" Dazzle asked incredulously, cautiously keeping his distance while Trixie hopped onto the wagon.
"He joined the party right before I reached the Badlands." She levitated the jar off of the wolf's head with a light sucking sound and brought it to her eye level to inspect it. "I heard he'd been terrorizing Dodge City, so I bought the syrup - NOT cheap in a frontier town - and set a trap for him." Satisfied that the jar was mostly empty, she swaddled it in a blanket of cushy magic and, with a zap from her horn, launched it like a sticky piece of artillery. It sailed out of view to the north.
The wagon jolted forward as the wolf pursued his lost love. "It's a pity we're skipping Dodge. I really wanted to see the looks on their faces when I showed them my new draft wolf." Trixie sighed wistfully. "A triumph wasted."
Dazzle had still been watching, dumbfounded, from the ground when the wagon began to pull away. "Are you coming?" Trixie called back. He galloped after her, taking flight after he'd picked up some speed. The changeling buzzed in for a soft landing on the cart just in time to watch Trixie draw water from a tapped barrel into an ornate goblet.
"To an amazing double act." She declared, raising the cup in a toast. As she drank, it occurred to her that she'd missed something. "Oh, right." She blinked, quickly prying a large trunk open with her magic and levitating the contents so that she could see them. A cracked teacup separated itself from the rest of the wad and flew under the tap on the barrel of water, which Trixie activated with an outstretched leg. The teacup flew to a halt under Dazzle's face. "I only have one of these." She blushed slightly, tapping her floating goblet by way of apology.
"It's fine." Dazzle smirked at another clear indicator that Trixie hadn't had company in a long while.
A moment passed in silence as they drank. Silence was not unusual for Trixie. But is it unusual when traveling with somepony new? Maybe. The showmare was uncertain.
Ultimately she concluded that she should probably say something, and supposed that now was as good a time as any to start being friendly, since a starving changeling would probably make terrible company. "So, you said those were your brothers. Are you the oldest?" She inquired, having noticed that all present seemed to defer to Dazzle's authority.
"Actually I'm the second-oldest. We lost our oldest brother during the invasion." Dazzle didn't seem too deeply affected, but Trixie mumbled her condolences all the same.
"Were you there?" She couldn't help but ask.
"No. I thought the invasion was a bad idea. And even if it had worked out, I could still just show up the next day when the fight was over. I convinced most of my brothers to stay behind and see what happened. We volunteered to be the skeleton guard for our region of the nest." He allowed himself a smile at the fact that he was still alive and not rotting in a cell beneath Canterlot. "I'd say it worked out pretty well."
"I have to agree with you there." Otherwise I’d be headed back to civilization with no new act. The wagon trundled along in near-silence for some time, the only sound being wheels crackling over parched earth. Suddenly, Trixie was struck by a thought. "Wait, aren't all changelings brothers? Didn't you all come from the same queen?"
"Technically, yes, but I don't call every changeling my brother.” Dazzle snorted. “I grew up with the changelings you saw. We're all near the same age and all from the same part of the nest." He explained.
"Ah." Trixie could think of nothing better to say. "So... about that changeling magic." She began with deliberate nonchalance, casting an almost painfully casual glance at Dazzle.
"You're serious, huh?" Dazzle chuckled. "Well, I'll do my best, but no promises. Hmm." He lapsed into thoughtful silence as he tried to decide where to begin. "Wearing a disguise is just a small part of what we do. The rest... the rest is commitment, I think. There's the disguise, you see, but that's just part of the overall illusion. We commit to the whole illusion." He gestured with his forehooves splayed wide as if to indicate something greater than himself. "Do you get it?"
Trixie nodded smugly. "Nopony would buy your disguise if you didn't have behavior to back it up."
"Exactly!" Dazzle agreed with conviction. "It's not just about adopting a disguise and hoping it's right." He said reverently. "A good changeling shows a pony exactly what they want to see. Let's say you get a hint of what your mark looks like from a distance." Trixie nodded to show her understanding, silently urging him onward. "That's fine for ponies who know him in passing, but they're not the ones who love him, are they? You need to fool the ponies closest to your mark. And sometimes that means getting your rough disguise together until you get close, and then filling in his cutie mark and his laugh and his walk at the last possible second." His voice dropped to a whisper and he leaned in toward the showmare until his muzzle was almost touching hers.
"How?" Trixie was listening attentively, ready to soak up the secrets of a whole species.
"You look into their memories." Dazzle said quietly, gazing into Trixie's eyes.
"How am I supposed to do that?" Trixie sputtered, avoiding Dazzle's intense stare.
"I'm not sure you can." He drew back and watched the desert go by. "I get tiny scraps of expectation when I look into a pony's eyes. They unconsciously show me the pony I'm impersonating, and I learn the relevant details just in time to use them. It's just little snippets of memories or hopes, but that's all a pony is in the eyes of another. All I have to do is read the script and play the part."
"And the script is in somepony's eyes. Fine. The Great and Powerful Trixie isn't afraid of a little eye contact!" She decreed.
"Try not to get your hopes up." Dazzle said doubtfully. "I've never heard of a pony using changeling magic before."
"The specifics might be a bit hard to nail down, but once I get past that, this changeling bit sounds like a series of well-timed parlor tricks." She said airily. "And I think you'll find that well-timed parlor tricks are my specialty." Trixie declared with pride.
"That and demolitions, right?" Dazzle casually prodded.
"Hush." Trixie huffed, though her smile ruined the effect a bit.
Hours later, after discussing some of the specifics of changeling disguises and trying to develop a mutual language for the way magic 'felt' to each of them, the duo were enjoying each other's company.
"So then - so then I wake up, right? And the tasty mare from the night before is telling me I'm late for work. OK, I've heard that one before. I tell her I'd better get going and I start making my way to the door. I open the door, and there's a royal guard RIGHT THERE." Dazzle gesticulated wildly to convey his panic.
"Of course." Trixie chortled.
"And then - weirdest mixed blessing ever - the mare comes up behind me and nudges me with a royal guard chestplate. She drops it on the ground and asks me if I'm forgetting something." Dazzle grinned.
"No!" Trixie squealed with delight.
"Yeah, turns out I'm impersonating a member of the reserve guard. So she unfurls her wing and out rolls a helmet. At this point I'm wishing I'd left in the middle of the night, but I was in deep, so I just went with it. I put the armor on, fell in step with this other stallion, hoping like crazy he'd lead me past the bushes where I'd left the real Rain Dance or whatever his name was so I could wake him up, give him a hangover and get the hell out of there, but-" Dazzle dissolved into uncontrollable laughter.
"What? What happened next?" Trixie demanded, shaking him by the shoulder.
"We're walking along, and-" He paused to cackle some more. "He pulls me behind this general store - and I've been wondering why he isn't mad at me for being an hour late for a government job - but then he looks me in the eyes." Dazzle’s voice had dropped to a dramatic whisper. "And you know what I see?"
"What?" Trixie leaned into Dazzle in suspense.
"He's expecting me to kiss him!" The changeling cried. "Like Rain Dance did every time they had a shift together! He was cheating on his marefriend with this other stallion in the guard!"
"Oh Celestia!" Trixie gasped through peals of laughter. "That's priceless."
"I know, right? So, again, I just went with it." Dazzle shook his head at the absurdity of the experience and wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes. "Love is love, and I'm not going to turn it down, but I had a hell of a weird day before I managed to get back to the real Rain Dance and give him his crazy life back."
"Sounds like you borrowed a very complicated love life." Trixie sighed. She wished she had more success stories like that.
"Yeah. What’s ironic is that I saw the royal guard armor in the mare's eyes when I first met her. I had no idea there was a reserve guard detachment in that area, so I just chalked it up to a naughty fantasy. Clearly, that was a mistake." Dazzle chuckled.
"I think I see the pass up ahead." Trixie squinted into the distance. "We're almost out."
"Probably time to get my disguise together, then." Dazzle stood up and stretched. "So, what's it going to be? Unicorn, I assume, but what colors? Think hard, because I don't want to change after we've gotten started."
"Hmm." Trixie rubbed her chin, looking him up and down. She soon realized the futility of looking at a blank slate for inspiration and laid back to gaze at the sky.
At first Dazzle merely watched Trixie watching the sky, waiting for an answer to strike her. After a moment he walked to the front of the wagon and surveyed the landscape while he waited. The sun had dropped low and would be setting in an hour or two. They'd have to make camp for the night and reach Appleoosa tomorrow.
After a few minutes had passed, Trixie's eyes finally flicked back to Dazzle. "How about a gold coat with a bright red mane?"
"Sounds Dazzling enough." The changeling agreed. He saw a reflection of what Trixie was expecting and transformed himself accordingly. "How's this?"
"No." Trixie said firmly, crossing her forehooves and practically throwing herself back to stare at the sky again. "You got it backwards. Gold coat, red mane." She said shortly.
Dazzle looked down at his body to find that it was actually bright red. I could swear that's what she asked for. "Sorry." He mumbled half-heartedly and swapped the colors. It was a simple mistake. Does she have to be nasty about it? We were getting along fine a minute ago.
The showmare gave his new look a cursory glance. "That's better." She said somewhat harshly. She took a deep breath and turned away to release a sigh off the side of the wagon, clearly not too interested in examining his new disguise.
Tense, uneasy silence reigned until the Badlands were behind them.
Author's Note
Again, I'd love to know what you think and please point out any typos. Next chapter, trouble in Appleoosa.
For anyone who's interested, I originally considered giving Dazzle a brother who was obsessed with romance novels, which would be the changeling equivalent of Dorito dust - flavor, but no substance. I was going to have a stockpile of them in the nest that would be referred to as the Book Fort. Ultimately I decided against it since it didn't serve the rest of the story well.
I might do something at some point exploring the relationship between changelings and love stories. If someone else wants to steal the idea, feel free.
Harmony, or Sticking the Landing
Harmony, or Sticking the Landing
As the cracked, sun-baked Badlands gave way to the fertile fields encircling the Haysead swamplands, the new duo made camp for the night. After making certain nopony was around, Dazzle briefly traded his horn for a set of wings and took to the sky to find a dry patch of ground. Trixie had been adamant about keeping the cart from bogging down in the soft earth while they slept.
Though Trixie gave him a laundry list of things to do, Dazzle noted that her demeanor wasn't especially frosty - it seemed her unreasonable distress over his botched disguise had passed, for which the changeling was grateful. Dazzle found some suitable tree branches to use as chocks for the wagon while Trixie erected and tested her perimeter spell and fed the wolf some dried fruit and springy twigs. Preparations complete, the duo retired for the night.
As she prepared for bed, Trixie removed her star-spangled hat and cloak. It was the first time Dazzle had seen her without them, and he found the transformation rendered her striking in an entirely different way. The outfit spoke of garish theatrics, but removing it allowed Trixie's color palette and slim figure to shine on their own.
They ate an austere meal of hay from a bale which they'd sporadically been using as a hoofrest. Trixie avoided Dazzle's eyes as she ate. He wondered how long it had been since she'd shared a meal with somepony who wasn't a captive timber wolf.
When the time came to sleep, Trixie lay at the head of the wagon and Dazzle spread himself out at the rear. They were nearly hoof-to-hoof. The wagon could only hold so much.
For the longest time, the two just stared at the starry sky. An odd haze from the swamp acted as a sort of filter, skewing the color of the stars to a warm yellow. Dazzle enjoyed the spectacle in silence. In the Badlands, the dust in the air could sometimes block the stars entirely. Just when he was ready to fall asleep, Trixie spoke.
"Do... do changelings poop?"
Dazzle sat up. "You just watched me eat! It's gotta go somewhere." He huffed. "I'm not just a black hole." He muttered, rolling his eyes.
"You are black, and you're full of holes." Trixie said pointedly, observing his indignation with quiet amusement.
"Of course. I'm a series of black holes." He flopped backward. "How could I forget?" He asked sarcastically.
"You should use all that excess gravity to catch mares." Trixie giggled.
Dazzle couldn't help but smile at that. Trixie seemed a little more laid-back in the stillness of the night. Maybe it was the absence of the hat. "I'll keep that in mind."
They'd risen with the sun and made good progress toward Appleoosa. The timber wolf was the only one not enjoying himself as they trundled along over the verdant hills between the swamp and the frontier town. They were probably only about an hour away now, and Trixie seemed to be in a celebratory mood as their goal loomed closer. She was humming to herself and rooting through the contents of her trunk again, looking for something. "Ah, here we go." She levitated an ornate box onto the wagon and tapped it with her hoof. By some feat of magic, the box became a full-sized gramophone. Trixie removed a record from a well-worn sleeve and carefully seated it on the turntable, holding the needle aloft with her magic.
"Did you pick a nice singing voice to go with that yellow mug of yours?" Trixie asked. She didn't wait for an answer. She lowered the needle and began to sing. It was clear that, though her cutie mark bestowed her with no extraordinary vocal talent, she felt that this song was sacred. The performance she gave was nothing less than her best.
"My idea of fun is watching you come undone.
Watching all of your armies begin to ruu-u-un.
The flash bulbs begin to pop,
as I gallop my way to the top."
She climbed to her hooves and began to prance around the wagon.
"And you've no idea what's hitting you,
until it's nearly done."
Trixie closed her eyes and began to sway to the subdued chorus.
"Game over." She paused as the lead singer slurred something almost too low to hear. "Game oh-ver-er-er-er." Trixie tapped her hooves on the rough wood of the wagon as the song's bridge washed over her. When the words picked up again, one of her hooves shot out to point at her new companion.
"My idea of a good time is you losing your mind.
Watching all of the threads in your tapestries unwi-i-i-ind." She smiled at Dazzle through the words.
"Did you commission somepony to write you a theme song?" Dazzle laughed.
Trixie just smiled wider and kept singing.
When the song ended, Trixie lifted the needle and started it over again. This time, Dazzle joined in. As he settled into a harmony with her, he finally felt what he'd been hoping for ever since they'd left the nest - his hunger was starting to fade.
"Whoa there, Stinkface!" Trixie cried, pulling back on the draft wolf's reins. Dazzle looked at her inquisitively. "What? I had to call him something."
"Why are we stopping here?" They'd reached a hill that overlooked Appleoosa.
"We need to prepare our grand entrance!" Trixie declared with a dramatic gesture toward the sleepy frontier town below. "In a town this small, it's possible - nay, essential - to make sure the entire population knows about the show long before it starts."
"And we do that by making a grand entrance?" Dazzle asked doubtfully. "How grand can two ponies and a cart be?"
"Two ponies, a captive timber wolf, and a cart." Trixie corrected. "And if you're asking that, you've clearly never seen the magic somepony can work with a unique means of conveyance." Dazzle cast an unenthusiastic look at their very basic plank of wood with wheels. The blue showmare rolled her eyes in exasperation. "I'm not saying this cart is any good. I admit, it's a bit of a handicap. But I think the wolf offsets it nicely." She said matter-of-factly. "Rough-and-tumble isn't the image I usually try to convey, but I think maybe we can work the 'strange outsiders with strange ways' angle instead." She trotted around the cart, giving the tethered wolf a wide berth.
"Hmm... Where do they come from, these ponies who tame great beasts to haul their loads? These well-bred unicorns with unknowable power over one of ponykind's most fearsome predators..." She mused aloud. Dazzle smiled to himself as Trixie made another lap of the cart, oblivious to all but her own thoughts. "The truth about the timber wolf is pretty impressive by itself - just need to jazz it up a bit." The blue mage rubbed her chin, her expression suggesting sly creativity.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie!" She suddenly shouted, leaping back onto the cart and performing for an audience of one. "Who, mere days ago, heard tales of a vicious timber wolf terrorizing the frontier community of Dodge City and took action!" She cried dramatically. "Stalking the beast through the neighboring swamp in the dead of night, she subdued it with powerful magic." She suddenly broke character and looked to Dazzle as if he'd spoken in opposition. "I did! It wasn't easy getting this idiot into a harness from a distance." She insisted, pointing accusingly at the wolf.
"It's probably easier than doing it up close." Dazzle pointed out.
"True." Trixie agreed.
"So that's all great, I guess, but is that part of our entrance? Are we doing drive-by biographies? And what's mine?" He inquired.
"The biographies are for the stage tomorrow night, but we'll need to work them out before we arrive." Trixie muttered distractedly, her eyes resting unfocused on a point somewhere over his shoulder. Snapping out of her reverie, she seemed to have had an idea. "You've had an interesting life. I mean, you've certainly borrowed a few." She smirked. "So what can you use from actual experience?"
Dazzle tried to conjure a suitably impressive moment from his past. It was mostly a haze. He saw bedrooms - so many bedrooms - a stadium, and more than one glimpse of Canterlot. He frowned. He didn't want to be from Canterlot. "Can't you just make something up for me?"
"I could, but kernels of truth are always better. You'll sell the story better if you remember some of it actually happening." Trixie assured him. She really had this down to a science, it seemed.
"I fought a dragon once." He admitted rather blandly.
"Seriously?" Trixie asked with wide eyes.
"Yup. Got my flank handed to me though. The whole squad did." He smiled wryly at the memory. None of his fellows had gotten seriously hurt, and, in a singular moment of wisdom, the queen hadn't taken her anger out on any of them for their failure, perhaps realizing that her idiotic plan was probably at fault.
"Not as impressive as the summary, hm?" Trixie concluded. "That's too bad." She jumped down from the cart and approached the crest of the hill, gazing down at their future audience in the distance. Dazzle trotted up next to her. The two sat for a while, casting no shadows in the noon sun as they tried to invent a life for a pony who hadn't existed until yesterday.
"You know... Hmm. Give me your best roguish wink." Trixie commanded. Dazzle complied, and Trixie lifted a hoof to her chest as if she'd been struck. "Celestia, that was good! Did you even have to try?"
"Not really. I've been roguish before." He shrugged.
"Well, that's good news. I don't think you'll need a detailed backstory. If you just let me do most of the talking, we'll be fine. That wink should get you pretty far." She laughed. "The ideal stallion is about sixty percent crowd-pleasing charm and the remainder is just magic to back it up." She said flirtatiously.
"If you say so." Dazzle chuckled. He had no trouble believing that Trixie would do the talking. He also found himself deeply amused but not entirely surprised by her idea of a perfect stallion.
"Now, we just need to get your outfit sorted out and plot the route for our entrance."
"I'm super-worried that we'll crash, get arrested, or explode, but I have to admit..." Dazzle began. Trixie smacked the wolf's hindquarters and the cart shot off down the hill. "This is the COOLEST thing I've ever done!" He yelped, holding onto his brand new star-and-moon top hat as they picked up a disturbing amount of speed.
Trixie tried to peel Dazzle's new cape away from her face, but the wind and the sheer effort required to hold onto the cart made it a challenge. "Remember, act like you can actually control the wolf! You're supposed to be driving, and I'm taking care of the rest."
"Got it!" Dazzle yelled over the wind and the worrying chatter of the rickety cart.
They were rapidly approaching the low point of the hill from which they'd launched. Trixie had just found solid hoofing out of range of Dazzle's flapping cloak and was about to begin the pyrotechnics phase of the operation when she noticed that just ahead was yet another hill that, given its positioning and their speed, may as well have been a cliff.
"Crap." Trixie hissed as they went airborne.
The first thing she did was levitate the wolf. The wolf was very surprised, yelping and flailing about as the whole party sailed through the air and toward the unforgiving ground. Trixie gritted her teeth in concentration, reaching out with her magic to grab the wagon beneath her as well. She applied sticking charms to her hooves and Dazzle's hindquarters to keep them all attached, then redoubled her efforts to keep the cart aloft.
"My butt feels weird!" Dazzle heard himself complain. He found it incredibly strange that, given the circumstances, that was what he'd chosen to bring up.
"Working as intended." Trixie ground out, panting with exertion. The town loomed ahead of them. She could hardly see anything around Dazzle's billowing cape. "Find the main street and steer the wolf that way!" She commanded.
"You heard the lady!" Dazzle yelled at the wolf. There was some very undignified yelping as the ground drew nearer. "He looks worried!" Dazzle reported.
"That's adorable." Trixie snarled. "I'm sure he's having such a hard time not bending the laws of physics, since I'm doing that for him." She snapped. "The least you two could do is steer!"
"Hya! Mush, Stinkface!" Dazzle cried. The street before him seemed pretty long and wide, and though it was possible that it wasn't the main thoroughfare, their rapid loss of altitude convinced him that it was close enough. Trixie ducked just in time to avoid losing her hat on the Welcome to Appleoosa sign. The wolf hit the ground running, the cart smashing to the earth only a split-second later. And she sticks the landing. Trixie breathed a ragged sigh of relief and began setting off fireworks to call as much attention to herself as possible.
"Come one, come all!" She called out, her voice amplified by magic. Birds left their perches as the sound crashed into them, echoing through the whole town. "Tomorrow night and tomorrow night only, witness feats of magic hitherto unseen by pony eyes!" She paused and swallowed, canceling the amplification spell. "Hat down low, remember!" She reminded her partner, who pulled the brim of his hat low over his eyes. According to Trixie, a good entertainer projected an air of mystery. He hunched low over the driver's bench and held the reins like he was doing something. It was probably for the best that he wasn't actually steering, since, due to the hat, his field of vision stopped at the wolf's flank.
Unknown to Dazzle, his aura of mystery was already doing its job. As they raced past a communal garden, several mares watering and pruning various vegetable crops gaped in awe at the unknown stallion being pulled along by - was that a timber wolf? Yes, a timber wolf. Trixie smirked, having glimpsed the gawkers as they tore past. They certainly won't be missing the show. With a little extra effort, her next volley of fireworks rained roses instead of floating away as smoke. She wanted to leave them a token of their impending time together, even if the conjuration was temporary.
The hopefully awe-inspiring duo soon found themselves approaching the other end of the small town. Various ponies stopped and stared as they passed, some rolling their eyes and chalking the behavior up to decadent city life, others quaking in fear of the timberwolf that had passed so frighteningly close. A cadre of foals had run out of the local schoolhouse and were chasing the wagon out of town, having glimpsed it through the window. "Foals!" Trixie clopped her hooves together gleefully. "Can't have a good show without some adorable foals!"
As they passed under another sign bearing the town's name, Dazzle pulled up on the reins, trying to bring the wolf to a halt. "Woah, there. Give it a rest, Stinkface." He called soothingly. The wolf collapsed, wheezing and hacking up sawdust.
Trixie jumped off the cart, squinting into the distance, noting with satisfaction that the foals were still approaching as fast as their little legs could carry them. While she waited for them to arrive, she conducted a cursory examination of the cart. "Ha! Look at that. We cracked a wheel." Dazzle followed her gaze to find that the wheel in question wasn't entirely circular and was missing about a quarter of its spokes. "I can't believe we survived the landing." She said bluntly.
Dazzle sat in the dirt, closed his eyes, and took a moment to truly appreciate being alive. He'd been in trains before, but while trains were fast, they were considerably more predictable than wolf-drawn skycarts with three and a half wheels. He wondered if every day he spent with Trixie would be like this. He wasn't sure he'd mind, but he also didn't know if he'd survive.
"Look! See, I told you it's a timber wolf!" A young colt called out in triumph. The foals had arrived. They were both earth ponies of an earthy color, and Trixie was surprised to see there were only two.
"Is not!" The filly next to him insisted. The colt ran up to the wagon, but the filly didn't venture beyond the sign. "It's gotta be fake. It's probably just somepony covered in sticks."
"I assure you, my cynical little ponies, my timber wolf is one hundred percent real." Trixie boasted, gesturing toward the exhausted wolf.
"Woooow." The colt's grin threatened to split his face. "Can I pet him?"
"That's an awful idea." Dazzle declared emphatically.
"I'm afraid not. I'm still taming him. There's plenty more wonder to be witnessed tomorrow, though." Trixie consoled him.
"Really?" The colt was riveted.
"Of course! Dazzle and I will be performing in this very town tomorrow night!" She cried with a dramatic stomp of her hoof and a short volley of fireworks.
"Awesome!" The colt pumped one of his forelegs in excitement.
"Ivy! Kudzu! Back to school this instant!" Their teacher, having herded the slower children back to the schoolhouse, finally caught up with the two who'd led the stampede.
"Yes, miss May." The filly replied meekly, galloping back into town.
"Aw, fine." The colt grumbled, taking his time in returning. Trixie and Dazzle watched as he and his teacher walked side-by-side into the distance, his movements becoming more animated as he excitedly explained what he'd seen.
"Well!" Trixie exhaled. "We've got them talking." The showmare levitated her saddlebags onto her back and began a leisurely trot into town.
Dazzle quickly caught up. "It's a shame the foals didn't see us fly in."
"Yeah, it's a real waste." Trixie lamented.
"So... I wasn't really looking at the ground until just before we landed. I didn't see anypony watching. Did you..?"
"I was busy." She said flatly.
"I kind of wonder..." He began doubtfully.
"If nopony saw us fly in, we should probably just kill ourselves." She said doggedly.
"Yeah." He laughed in agreement.
Trixie decided that the front of the local general store would be the best location for their show, and after consulting with its owner, she began creating a flyer to advertise the event.
The Great and Powerful Trixie and the Ever-Radiant Dazzle
One Night Only!
Seeds and Sundries General Store
Feats of Magic Beyond Imagination
Illustrated Tales of Danger and Intrigue
Sights Defying Description
All Ages Welcome to be Amazed
Dazzle was surprised at how long it took her to copy each flyer from the original. He figured the Great and Powerful Trixie would know a batch copy spell, but apparently they were a little more involved than making a wagon fly. Her spell granted her one copy per cast, and by the time they'd plastered the town with ads, the sun was setting.
The duo then sought out a place to spend the night. They soon identified the local watering hole and approached the grizzled proprietor about finding a room for the night.
"We don't get too many travelers way out here, and when we do, most stay with family." He cast a silent glance at their horns, likely concluding that they had no family here. "Just got the two rooms, and one's fulla bean counters from Canterlot here to check up on our little experiment." He gestured widely, indicating the town. "So Ah hope y'all are cozy." His eyes shifted between the duo. Dazzle was blushing, but Trixie just smirked.
"Not only are we cozy, we're incredibly cheap." She rooted through her saddlebag for a sack of bits. "How much for the night?"
"It'll be twelve bits, but before you go handin' 'em over, y'all will need to have a word with the sheriff."
Trixie's ears twitched nervously and her eyes narrowed, but Dazzle spoke up before she had a chance. "Why's that?" He inquired.
"New policy, on account'a the changelings bein' so close." He said grimly.
"What, we need to be told to watch out for suspicious activity?" Trixie rolled her eyes.
"Missy, you're from out of town, ain't kin to nopony here, and if Ah heard correctly, you made it rain roses. You are the suspicious activity." He drawled. Dazzle scowled on Trixie's behalf while Trixie gave the innkeeper a withering look. "The sheriff's just come in. He won't bite 'less you bite him first." The settler pointed to the doorway where a light brown earth stallion with a magnificent handlebar mustache was considerately wiping the dust from his hooves.
Trixie trotted toward the sheriff, muttering something about "getting this over with." Knowing Trixie's diplomacy skills to be questionable, Dazzle cringed and rushed to her aid.
Thankfully, the sheriff got the first word. Having noticed the two new faces, he greeted Trixie with a tip of his hat. "Howdy, Ma'am. Ah don't believe Ah've seen you 'round here before. Silverstar, sheriff of Appleoosa." He extended a hoof which Trixie shook mechanically. "What can Ah do for ya?"
"I'm the Great and Powerful Trixie, and this is the Magnificent Dazzle." She gestured vaguely toward Dazzle, who hadn't been aware of his ascension to magnificence until that moment. "I'm told that my partner and I need to see you before we book a room for the night. Is that true?" Her tone implied a long-suffering boredom with the idea.
"Ah reckon so. Brave new world, with critters who can steal a pony's face. We're just bein' careful." He explained.
"Right, well, we've checked in with the law, so are we free to settle in now? We'll need to be up early to prepare." She tossed her mane as if to emphasize the fact that beauty needed its rest.
"And just what are y'all preparin' for?" The sheriff asked.
"The Greatest show in Equestria." Trixie replied as though it were obvious.
"Well, seein' as I wasn't aware of a show until now, I assume y'all will be puttin' one on?" Silverstar guessed.
"A magic show." Dazzle supplied.
"A feast for the senses. Arcane feats beyond imagination. That sort of thing." Trixie clarified, looking at Dazzle with silent reproach for selling them short.
"Ah suppose that explains the roses." The sheriff mumbled to himself.
"Will we be needing a permit?" Trixie inquired, attempting to win favor with the small-town lawcolt.
"No, we ain't too fond'a paperwork. Long as y'all ain't causing trouble or keepin' ponies up at night, you got my blessing." Silverstar smiled kindly. "That just leaves the matter of the room for the night." He scratched his neck nervously as though he still wasn't accustomed to his new task. "Since y'all are from out of town and Ah ain't seen ya before..." He looked to the innkeeper, who shook his head. "And you ain't got anypony here who can rightly say they know ya-"
"You're assuming we're changelings." Trixie deadpanned.
"Well, you'll have to excuse our paranoia, ma'am, but Ah'm sure you can understand our position, can'tcha?" The sheriff's eyes begged sympathy. "The Badlands are where those nasty critters came from - right on our doorstep, nearly - and here you come trottin' through, fly-by-night, and ain't nopony here who can vouch for you." He seemed genuinely apologetic.
"Is this how you treat all out-of-towners, or just unicorns?" Trixie asked archly.
"Now Ah never said magic had a thing to do with it, did Ah?" The sheriff asked. His voice took on an edge of anger. Other ponies in the saloon had begun to take notice of the exchange.
"Listen, arguing won't get us anywhere. If you can't trust somepony who hasn't done anything wrong, I can't convince you to change your mind. Come on, Trixie." Dazzle said firmly, turning to leave. He hadn't seen any unicorns in town so far, but he still couldn't afford to risk discovery.
"Now hold on just a second, mister. We don't have to leave things like this. If y'all would kindly submit to a little test, we could skip right to bein' good friends." The sheriff offered with curt gentility.
"Thanks, but it's not worth the ordeal." Dazzle said firmly and continued his journey to the door.
"Ain't no need to fetch a unicorn fer my test, mister. I imagine you're used to the disguise breaker spell?" Dazzle stopped walking. "I got somethin' a little different. Quick, no magic, and no side-effects. How 'bout it?"
"No side-effects?" Dazzle asked, walking back toward the sheriff. Internally, he was much more heartened by the claim of 'no magic.' "You're not going to probe me, are you?" He smirked. Somepony let out a quick snort of laughter.
"Well, there's one vote'a confidence." The sheriff said, raising his voice so that the whole bar would hear. "Ah imagine a changeling might like a little probin'." The tension that had hung thick in the saloon as the argument played out was cut in half as the whole establishment laughed at the sheriff's joke. Silverstar took the opportunity to lean toward the magical duo for a private word. "Anyway, y'all can ask the mares in town, and they'll tell you Ah ain't that kind of stallion." He asserted, matching Dazzle's smirk with one of his own.
Dazzle smiled competitively at the earth pony while Trixie looked on with concern. He's actually considering it. As another second ticked by, it occurred to her to mask her concern with anger - perhaps at Dazzle's willingness to bend to authority. Yes, that'll do. "You don't have to, Dazzle. We could sleep in the wagon, or get an early start on the road to Baltimare. We could drive in shifts." She offered, casting a distrustful glance at the sheriff.
"No, I think if it's just a little test, we can save ourselves the fatigue, get a good night's rest, and give Appleoosa a great show. Sheriff, I'm at your mercy." Dazzle genuflected to Silverstar and waited for the test. Trixie cast a furtive glance at the door. They'd need a clear path out if Dazzle's plan failed. She assumed he had a plan, anyway.
"Alright then." Silverstar herded the magical duo toward the bar and asked them to wait while he had a word with a yellow stallion in a dark brown vest who'd been watching events unfold from a table on the edge of the room.
The yellow stallion got up and leaned against the wall, nodding politely at Trixie and Dazzle but otherwise remaining still. The sheriff returned to the bar and approached the disguised changeling. "Mister, if you'll just keep your eyes on mine, and Ma'am, if you'll keep yours on Wet Whistle here -" He gestured toward the innkeeper, who put down the glass he'd been inexpertly cleaning. "Everypony please find a seat - this'll only take a second." They heard a few chairs being moved, but silence soon followed. Silverstar faced Dazzle with a smile, though his stare remained hard and unyielding. "Braeburn, you know what to do." There was the squeak of a valve being turned and the saloon was plunged into darkness.
Nopony could see it, but Dazzle wore a smile of triumph in the dark. As soon as the lights went out, he knew what the test was. Clever earth ponies. Pity they don't know who they're dealing with.
"What are you doing?" Trixie demanded. She reached out to feel the air beside her, expecting somepony to be there.
"Eyes forward, missy." The innkeeper cautioned.
"If this is your idea of an ambush-" Trixie began, but before she could go any further, the lights came back on.
Dazzle squinted at the brightness at first, though he quickly returned Silverstar's stare, taking care to show him exactly what he wanted to see.
"She's alright." Wet Whistle announced.
"I'm real sorry to trouble you, Mister." The sheriff's demeanor was much more friendly now. "We'll be happy to have y'all here for the night."
A few minutes later, a surprised Trixie found herself re-entering the inn with her secret changeling and her overnight bag in tow. As they climbed the stairs from the saloon to the guest rooms, her curiosity got the best of her.
"I don't understand. What was the test?" She demanded in a whisper as she unlocked the door and hurried inside, immediately casting a sound-dampening spell on the wall adjacent to the second guest room. "When they turned off the lights, I thought we were going to have to fight our way out!" The showmare was struck by an awful thought. "Wait, we did pass the test, right? Both of us? Or are they down there right now sharpening their pitchforks while we think we're home-free?"
"Calm down, we passed. Changelings don't have visible pupils. Ponies do. When you go from darkness to bright light, your pupils shrink. If you look closely, you can see it happen. I guess they're relying on the fact that most changelings don't realize how pony eyes work and wouldn't know to mimic that little detail." He mused.
"Most, but not this one, hm?" Trixie levitated her bags onto a nightstand.
"No, not this one." Dazzle allowed himself a smile of pride. His time among ponies was longer and more storied than one might expect of a changeling, and he had that to thank for his knowledge of mundane pony anatomy. The wherewithal to use that knowledge had come from the nest, though. There was a saying he'd been taught as a juvenile. In Equestrian, it would be "don't forget to bleed."
"I'm impressed. You fooled the law. We might just survive." She joked.
"Yeah, so far so good." Dazzle smiled. "You know, it's easy to see why the sheriff does so well with the mares." He mused as he shrugged off his hastily-made cloak. Trixie looked at him questioningly. "He's got gorgeous eyes." He clarified.
"And that mustache! That is a law-enforcing mustache!" Trixie insisted.
"It probably patrols the town by itself at night, hunting criminals and talking like John Mane." Dazzle imagined.
"The sheriff's mustache probably gets more tail than the sheriff." Trixie theorized. At that, the gold faux-stallion truly lost it, stamping the floor and leaning on the bed for support.
After their slightly fatigued giggles ran out, Trixie's mind caught on something Dazzle had said. "How do you even know who John Mane is?" She wondered aloud, climbing onto the bed. "For a changeling, you sure know your Equestrian pop culture."
"I do." He agreed. "I've spent months at a time among ponies." He admitted. Trixie assumed that he'd look on such memories fondly - they must have been nice meals - but his face suggested otherwise. He looked as though he remembered something he'd rather have forgotten. He didn't dwell on it long, though.
Instead he rose to his hooves and opened the closet, which was bare apart from the items he was looking for. He levitated the spare set of blankets and an extra pillow from the top shelf and began to spread the blankets on the floor next to the bed. Trixie nearly asked what he was doing, but instead made a rare decision to hold her tongue. He was sleeping on the floor. Why? A part of her asked. Why not? It was a fair counterpoint. Why do we care? Now that was probably the most important question. She decided to think on it some more.
She was still considering it when Dazzle said goodnight and disappeared beyond the edge of the bed that he'd conceded without discussion. Trixie turned out the light.
Soon, the showmare realized why she cared. I don't want to sleep alone. She brought a hoof to her forehead in the dark and berated herself for such an uncharacteristic moment of weakness. She'd gone how many years sleeping alone, and now, when the alternative was an option, she couldn't stand it anymore? On one hoof she was rolling her eyes at her own ridiculous desires, but on the other hoof she saw an opportunity to use her companion's diet to her advantage.
"Are you..." Trixie's voice started out confident, but she faltered, surprised at her own bravado. When she continued, she was much quieter. "Are you hungry?" She asked into the darkness. She couldn't see the gold colt she knew was on the floor somewhere. There was barely enough moonlight coming in to tell one shadow from the next.
"I'm OK." Dazzle answered somewhat defensively. Shadows in his vicinity shifted and bedsheets rustled as he moved.
"What does 'OK' mean?" Trixie asked cajolingly.
"What does 'are you hungry' mean?" Dazzle countered playfully, smiling in the dark.
Trixie turned the oil lamp back on at a fraction of its full power. Its faint glow revealed Dazzle looking back at her with amused curiosity. Not for the first time, the showmare abandoned tact. "Do you -" She cleared her throat, finding that it didn't want to cooperate. "Do you want to sleep with me?" She grimaced the moment the words left her mouth. Dazzle's lips twitched and folded in on themselves as he bit back laughter or some kind of joke at her expense - Trixie didn't care which. "You get one joke." She cautioned. "And in exchange, you have to answer honestly."
"Hmm." Dazzle considered the challenge a serious one. To choose a single jab at Trixie's ego was difficult enough - he had three solid options in mind already - but to give Trixie an honest answer? He wasn't sure if either of them could handle that.
Trixie watched with carefully cultivated boredom as Dazzle plotted his verbal finishing move. He wore an insufferably anticipatory smile. Privately, she was so interested in the joke that she was only a little worried about the answer that would follow it.
Finally, Dazzle's train of thought hit the end of the line and his smile went from one of pleasant speculation to pure, predatory joy. Trixie cringed, hoping he wouldn't reduce her ego to ash. He licked his lips and prepared to speak, but when he made eye contact with Trixie, the words died on the tip of his tongue.
Where a pony would only see the flickering light of the lamp reflected in her violet eyes, Dazzle saw more. He saw the two of them, side by side, content in peaceful slumber. One of his forelegs was draped over Trixie's neck, and his muzzle was buried in her silvery mane. That was what Trixie was imagining, and it seemed the very picture of bliss.
Suddenly the joke didn't seem so appropriate anymore. In fact, he'd forgotten what it was.
He had his answer, though.
"I do want to sleep with you." Dazzle admitted with a faint nod and a smile that was almost, but not quite, shy.
"No joke?" Trixie asked, her eyebrows disappearing under her mane. "If that was the joke, it was pretty weak." She smiled to hide her anxiety.
"No joke." Dazzle replied.
He abandoned his shoddy floor bunk and climbed in alongside the powder blue mare, who was - for once - quiet. She scooted over to give him room. He debated putting a leg around her. It wasn't necessary - the bed was large enough for the two of them to sleep comfortably without touching - but he knew it was what she wanted, deep down. The deciding factor was his hard-won knowledge that it was important to let ponies be honest with themselves in their own time. He kept his hooves to himself. "Night." He murmured.
"Goodnight." Trixie quietly replied.
After a few minutes, the silver-maned mare shivered. The air had started to cool in the sun's absence, though Dazzle hadn't noticed it himself. He decided to meet Trixie halfway. With a moment of concentration, he grew two extra-downy pegasus wings. He carefully wrapped one around Trixie, who snuggled into his feathery embrace.
Fake shiver; preserve dignity. Trixie smiled into her pillow as Dazzle settled himself against her. Genius.
Author's Note
The song is My Idea of Fun by Electric Six, with a couple of slight changes. If you only know them for Gay Bar, you're missing out.
This chapter has been through lots of revisions, so please let me know if you find mechanical or continuity errors.
