Equestria, What A Place.

by 254Ddubman

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Romance, Trixie, Adventure
Length: 40543

Stanley Madison is a 24 year old college student that needs to write a paper about something that has happen in his life that has changed him. After a rough time thinking on the subject , a accident transpires really increasing the subject tenfold.

Stanley Madison is a 24 year old college student that needs to write a paper about 'something that has happen in his life that has changed him as a person'. After a rough time thinking on the subject , a accident transpires really increasing the subject tenfold.
(Writing help from ThatOneGuy1115)
~~~~~~~~

After arriving to Equestria during the accident, he highly doubts that he'd even want to return back to his regular universe.

(Beware, lots of vulgar/explicit terms is used at immature times.)

Published 2013-01-08 09:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-02 05:04:06 UTC

Introduction: Stan, The College Man

As the class bell rung, our studies instructor had something to announce before we left (Which is very frustrating because he always does this during my lunch break). The teacher's name was Mr. Woodberry... I'm not kidding, and he has had it out for me the very moment I arrived to his classes. Oh and by the way my name is Stanley Madison, 24 years old working on getting my master's degree in gaming. I have a pretty normal scrawny build, and I have short shaggy hair to my ears. My eyes are are the darkest shade of blue and i'm quite the ladies man......

Who are you kidding, you haven't had a girlfriend since the 5th grade. Even I thought you looked pitiful back then!

SHUT UP!. Oh, and if you didn't know, that was my brain making that little comment there. He's pretty much helpless when it comes to self encouragement.

But back to the story at hand. Mr. Woodberry had pointed me out specifically to come towards him, while everyone else was leaving class. I was pretty hesitant at the decision because I was really hungry, but I might as well get this over with before he does it tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that...

"YO!, MISTER WOOD BERRLE'S, WHAT UP." I yelled in a weird southern rapper accent. He could tell I was joking. But he still had the face of concern, not at my accent, but at something else.

"Are you aware of your performance in this course of your studies Mister Madison?" Said Mr. Woodberry with a quite serious tone.

"Man-, I'll be alright. How bad can it be?" I say with some concern of my own.

"It's not how bad it can be. it's how bad it's GOING to be if you don't get yourself together." He says with a more louder tone.

"Oh." I said simply staring down at my stomach with hunger and disappointment.

"But!" Mr. Woodberry says, suddenly getting my attention.

"I could give you some extra credit, if it'll make a difference?" The old man says with a slight smile building upon his face.

"Yeah, Sure, Anything... I Guess." I said with eager, and a slight eyebrow raising. I already knew I might be failing this course because of my lack of effort before lunch. I not sure why, Its just always seems like my concentration revolves around food... But yet, i'm not overweight.

"Alrighty Then. Write me an essay on something that has happened in your life that changed you." He exclaimed revealing the subject. I soon pause for a couple of moments trying to recall such moments... But nothing came up, I've had a pretty bland, boring life so far up to now. The last exciting thing I recall me doing was getting a diploma to go to this college, and even that hasn't changed me.

"Can I have another topic." I questioned him. But he simply said "It's either this, or fail." with a stern look on his face. I didn't question him any further, nodding my head in acceptance. As I walked out the room I turn back to say "Thanks for the second chance." making him know that i'm thankful for this opportunity. But he just nodded and dug inside his desk revealing some applesauce.

"So that's why he always smells like that." I said with a snicker shutting the door to his classroom and dashing as fast as I could to the cafe I usually eat at. I didn't have a car, or a bike, or any other mode of transportation instead of my legs, so it was hard to get around the campus.

As I was running I suddenly stop over my phone vibrating in my side pocket. As I pick it up to review the caller, it was this one egghead I agree to be science partners with, just to get a easy grade. I answered the call...

"Yeah?" I said with a non-caring attitude.

"Are you coming by, the class ends in the next 20 minutes. I really need you to get through this final phase of the project." He says with begging and concern. Truth be told I have completely forgot what we were doing, I probably would have to stop by to see the doohickey, or whatever he's making just for the sake of helping out.

"Sure i'm on my way, My lunch break doesn't end for an hour anyway." I say with less stress as I got a quick candy bar from a nearby vending machine.

"Stupendous, can't wait!" The caller says with greed as he hangs up the phone.

Man that guy is weird why did you ever agree to be being his partner anyway. He probably takes samples of your saliva while you take naps in their and uses it as body soap. And who in the FUCK says stupendous as a response to anything.

"I don't know?" I say taking a bite of my candy bar. "But, he's my only chance of getting decent grades in that class for participation". As I took another bite of my candy bar, I finally suggested to look around realizing that I was just talking to myself. Forever Alone i suppose.

No Worries, You still got me.

I stopped by a supplies store to buy a notepad for some quick thinking during this science project. Just in case I have to make up a story on the spot for Mr. Woodberry. As I was walking I still felt a unbelievable hunger going through my stomach once more, apparently that candy bar didn't hit the spot. So I purchased some chips from another vending machine standing beside the class I was about to enter.

Damn dude, You're really letting yourself go. All that trans-fat.

"........SHUT UP." I say to myself for no apparent reason as I entered the class.

There were strict signs all over the classroom saying not to bring food or drinks into the science lab, But I just simply ignored them and kept moving without wearing required safety gear and such. YEAH, I'm a rebel.

NOT!

As I arrived in the room my science partner walks forward to greet me as the others ignored the fact I was there.

"Hello Teammate, What's fresh, my dog... Yo?" The nerd says with the most idiotic attempt to be cool i have ever seen.

"Dude, Stop doing that. And lets go on with this project." I demand, taking a couple of more bites at my chips. He got the point I was making and proceeded across the room, and I soon followed him towards his contraption. He then stopped and pointed to what look like a 7 foot steel box with vending machine number keys on the side.

"Cool, Were making a vending machine, I love vending machines." I said eagerly at the site.

Of Course You Do, Every time you spot one you always fantasize about those Nutty-Nut bars in your mouth, gobbling it down like its your last supper!

I chose to ignore my pondering thoughts and continued on with my visuals.

"No, it's a time machine silly!" The guy exclaims with greed. Matter of fact I hardly know this guy's name, might as well ask him before things get awkward. "Hey." I say as he turns to me. "What's your name again? I never really caught it last time." He then forwardly said without question that his name was Jason... Jason Turner to be exact. Hmph. I can't believe I couldn't remember that.

He then explained more about the 'Time Machine' he thought he was making, but I simply ignored everything uttering from his lips, and looked directly at the shiny buttons. "Sooo, What do these button do?" I said tapping a couple of buttons on the machine before Jason slapped my hand away. "Don't do that! Look, you got your greasy potato chip fingerprints all over the buttons. It's still in the kinks right now, and I don't know if any buttons is functional like I programmed so." Jason yelled, pointing at my greasy mitts.

"Ok Man, You didn't have to slap me." I say rubbing the hand that was smacked and the bag of chips in the other. "Sooo, Basically....You don't know what you're doing?" I also say in reply.

"That's what i'm trying to find out, and that's why I asked you for help, to see if it does what its program to do." Jason says.

"Which is?" I replied with an eyebrow raised.

"Time travel, you dult!" he says with a little anger in his voice, as if he's been talking to himself this entire time.

"Oh Ok, Sure i'm game. So what do I do exactly?" I ask with concern

"I just need you to step inside until i'm done with a couple of tests." Jason replies. So I just shrugged my shoulders and stepped inside the metal box knowing good and well that it wasn't going to work. I still had my chips intact though, enjoying them for what seemed like forever inside the cold metal box. There was Nothing special inside but just a couple unplugged wires. So I chose to ignore it.

PLUG IT.

Huh?

PLUG IT IN, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

I really, don't wanna mess anything up.

YOU MIGHT BE FIXING SOMETHING, JUST PLUG IT UP AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

Weeeeelllll, Now that you put it 'that' way. Without hesitation I plugged in the 3 colored wires into their correct slots, And no action occurred. Jason was then alarmed by the 3 sniping sounds inside the box, But I simply told him it was nothing and he carried on.

"See, Like I said nothing was gonna happ-.." Almost on impact of me saying that, something went terribly completely wrong. As a shock of lightning appeared across my face, then white blankness started to obscure my vision. After what seemed like a couple of minutes, I could not see a THING but my potato chips and just....White. And if it couldn't get any worse, Rainbows started to scatter across my vision for a couple of minutes followed by this up loud screeching sounds. It was irritating. I was then seeing this one horse-ish type figure pass me by, kinda brown with a hourglass tattoo on it's leg I assumed, but that's not the case right now. Finally I see sunlight, and a type of village of somewhat I think... But then again, I might just be getting high from all those visuals. My head was starting to rush as I was heading towards a ground. Then... BOOM!! I collide with an unbelievable force onto the surface.

With the rest of the strength I had left, I reached into my chip bag to pull out what might be my last meal, and toke a bite.

"Mmmmmm." Satisfaction entered my lips as I pass out in an environment that smelled like...... Animals.

"What in Equestria was that Fluttershy!" yelled Rainbow Dash as she was inside Fluttershy's cottage when the sound transpired.

"I'm... I'm not sure, but lets not go find out." yelps Fluttershy as she was alarmed by the sound also. It was while she was feeding her animals as it took place.

"What do you mean lets not go find out, it could be a pony in danger!" tells Rainbow Dash, really curious about the events. But Fluttershy didn't listen as she shook in fear of the idea. Rainbow Dash simply shakes her head looking at her troubled friend, she then thinks of a clever tactic... "It could be an 'Animal' in danger, Fluttershy." says the cyan mare looking at her friend for a response. Suddenly Fluttershy gets off her hooves and dashes to the scene "An animal in danger, why didn't you say so?" she said without hesitation.

Rainbow Dash trying to keep up with her speed to the scene that wasn't much far away from her house, matter of fact it was just at the backyard. They both come to a stop inspecting the hole in question. "Wow, what kind of creature can make a hole that big." Questions Fluttershy inspecting the hole. "I don't know." responds Rainbow Dash looking as well. "I've never seen a creature this size before, Should we pick it up?" says Fluttershy looking at Rainbow Dash for approval. "Sure, on three we pick this thing up." says Rainbow Dash as Fluttershy nods her head in response.

"1,"

"2,"

"3!" As they both lift the creature out of the hole, and on to the ground-level surface.

Moans, and groans were coming from the creature, like it was in deep pain. Fluttershy quickly inspects the creature if it was harmed or not. But all she got in return was some more moans and groans of pain. So she went into drastic measures, hoping that her idea will suffice. Rainbow Dash not knowing what she was going to do, stood back a little after looking at Fluttershy's determined face.

At the crack of her hooves she forcefully rubbed them together then grabbed a whole of the creatures neck. And with a twist of her grip she SNAPS the creatures neck. With its reaction revealing an outburst of foul language that the mares haven't heard in one saying. The creature then passes out again, this time more lifeless then before. It scene goes quiet for a couple of seconds until Fluttershy broken down into fresh sobs knowing what she might have done, while Rainbow Dash comes from behind slowly embracing her. "Cheer Up Fluttershy, It isn't dead.... Look it's still breathing... right?" Dash says while pointing at the creature who was indeed still breathing. "That's not the point, I thought I could help it, but I only made it things worst." says Fluttershy, slowly calming down her tearful eyes. "Let's just take it inside until it's feeling better, then you can explain what went wrong." asks Rainbow Dash. "I guess so. I hope it doesn't hate me." reply's Fluttershy.

I then woke up in what looks like a cottage, pretty comfortable and warm then my usual dreams, but this is still nice. I felt an uncomfortable sensation around my neck though, almost like a brace of some kind. "Hmm, That's unusual for a dream." I whispered to myself as I couldn't move, almost like I was paralyzed. " Now this is exactly like my dreams." I say in an normal voice. I was still inspecting the features of the place I currently was, until suddenly I heard voices from behind a doorway of the room I was in. I immediately thought this was one of those dreams were I get murdered by people, man I hate those dreams!

2 horse shape figures then catch the corner of my eye as I hear them walking towards my body. "Aw great, they're deformed too, that's just fucking fantastic!" I think to myself as how bad the dream was going so far. Soon they were in front of me, and I had my eyes closed shut from not to seeing the mutations. But then, one nicely said...

"Hello, are you okay mister creature, sir?" I immediately open my eyes to see where that soft adorable tone of voice was coming from. And soon enough I found out...My dream was getting weirder. A small bright yellow horse stood in front of me with big concerned eyes. As a blue small horse with with rainbows in her hair and big eyes stood next to it.

"Excuse me, but did you just....talk?" I said breaking the barrier of silence in the room.

"Why yes, yes I did. Is that unusual or something, because I can stop." said the troubled yellow horse.

"No, No, It's just that.....Wait a minute! FUCKING TALKING HORSES!!!" I shouted trying to make sure I was still in reality, and quite frankly... I wasn't.

"Hey, Buddy for your information, we're not horses. We're PONIES." the blue one says with an attitude.

And after all that just took place, my brain started to go numb. And soon enough I was knocked out again..

"Hmph, what a lightweight!" is all I hear echoing from the blue "pony" as I was fading away from the scene.

Chapter 1: Explanatory

I'm really starting to think i'm on drugs or going on some LSD trip or something. Because what I just witnessed wasn't normal to human eyes. While the time I was knocked out, all I could hear were hoof steps, constant opening and shutting of doors, and received the aroma of apples... lots of apples..

"Is it still... unconscious?" I hear the familiar shy voice say as it entered the room.

"Ah think so, Ah haven't checked on it since I got here." I hear a southern female-ish voice say.

And on cue of what she said, I hear more hoof steps, But this time they were coming towards me. I slowly feel the sensation of hooves on my forehead and chest, which made me wake up on impact.

"Who, What, Where, what's going on, what time is it... did I miss my cartoons?!?! I say hesitantly waking up from my ordeal.

"Calm down there, partner!, you're doing just fine." I hear the southern voice beside me say. As I slowly turned around with half-awake eyes to analyze the voice. It was then I saw another FUCKING horse, but this time it was orange with green big eyes and a yellow....ummm, what do you call it again?

A Mane?

Oh yeah, and a blonde yellow mane. She was then eyeballing me, as if she was waiting for a response with big curious eyes and a sheepish smile.

"Well, you can understand what i'm saying right?" says the orange.... "pony" still looking with concern. I respond

"Oh great,another one! Can every living thing here talk or something? I said with frustration under my breath from being knocked out countless times. But this time my head feels more average then it recently did, so I wont be passing out anytime soon. Moving on to the concerned mare.

"Well now that you mention it, trees, rocks, and apples can't talk." says the responding mare with a chuckle. I chuckled also at the fact that logic still exists here where ever I was.

"Well yeah I know that, but i'm just not use to the whole, horses talking thing." I say as a rebuttal to her response.

"Excuse me sir, not to be rude, but we're not horses. We're ponies, Horses are better known as a filthy term here." says the orange pony as she explained. Hm, no wonder the blue one had a harsh attitude when I pointed it out. But on to some real questions that need to be answered.

"Who are you, Where am I, And were are my chips?" I said with kindly demand. She responded

"Well I'm Applejack, And you're near Everfree forest right now, and what are chips? Don't get me wrong Ah've heard of chocolate chips, but just plain chips....I'm kinda stumped." says the mare replying to my questions.

"Nevermind the chips." I say still confused on my whereabouts. "What's a "Everfree" forest?" I asked once more.

"Well, it's where Fluttershy lives next to, and who's house you're in right now!" she said with glee realizing the thought of a conversation brewing. Fluttershy... it's probably that one yellow horse that had the sweet voice. I ask a more descriptive question.

"Where in this "world" am I, if you could be more specific?" I say with more concern then before. "All the stuff I'm seeing right now... isn't usual to me." I added on. She then looked at me with slight sadness now knowing that I really didn't know where I was.

"Well um, lets see. You're in Equestria!" She says with enthusiasm as she pointed around outside.

"Equestria?" I say with a huge eyebrow raised.

"Yes, Where us pony-folk live, breed, crop, and all sorts of wonderful things. And this magnificent place is ran by the one and only Princess Celestia, and her sister Luna. As she explained everything, I felt half of my brain explode over the sound of this nonsense. I had to be dreaming or something... I have an idea.

As I reached for my belt to un-buckle it, that Applejack pony was still explaining things I hardly even listened to now. I then forced the neck brace off of my body. Then warpped the belt around my neck, for an attempt to wake me up from this psycho madness world of talking horses. I began to forcefully pull the belts tongue.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING

Killing myself, duh.

DUDE STOP, THIS IS COMPLETELY REAL YOU FUCKING RETARD!

This can't be real, have you seen all the shit that's happened. No fucking way!

I'M YOUR BRAIN, I FUCKING SEE EVERYTHING YOU DO, DUMBASS. CAN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME THIS ONCE!

My attempt of suicide became futile when the orange pony dashes towards my rescue. "What in the hay are you doing, partner! She yells alarmed by actions. At the shock of her voice another pony comes running in unaware of what was going on. It was Fluttershy.

"I was trying to wake myself up!" I coughed replying to Applejack outburst. And soon enough she snatched the belt from around my neck with her muzzle, and threw it across the room.

"Why would you want to do that! You're already awake after the last 2 days you arrived here." shouts Applejack with frustration of me trying to kill myself. I found it funny, yet cute how she really cared about me and my health.

"Is everything alright in here?" Fluttershy finally asks while she was in the room.

"This poor fella was trying to kill himself." responds Applejack with a stern look at me.

"Why would he want to... It's because of me isn't it?!?! You was thinking I trying to kill you, so you try to do the job yourself!" says Fluttershy beginning to cry over the thought of her harming any living creature "But I wasn't trying to harm you, I just thought you were tense, so I snapped your neck in order for you to get comfortable with yourself. But I made everything WORSE!" continues the sad mare as fresh tears poured down her face.

I just paused for a moment regaining my breath after attemptive suicide. Then I started to look at the crying mare who have been thinking anonymous results for me trying to kill myself. I couldn't stand when people cry, especially adorable animals... even if they talk, I guess they're still... people right?

Wrong!

I started to raise my self from the couch I was attached to, and with a little wobble in my step through the minor injuries, I started to walk toward the troubled mare. Applejack unaware of what I was doing didn't stop me. I made it to Fluttershy and kneeled down for a gentle caressing hug. Caught off guard by doing so, she slowly hugged me back also as I said...

"Hey, I might not know alot about you, but I can't stand seeing people cry. You didn't harm me in anyway, and even if you did i'm sure you would have a perfect excuse for it...right?" She nodded her head to my embrace, and I continued.

"Plus, you pretty much made up for it, by letting me into your home for a couple of days...right?" She nodded again in response. "Well then, no harm no foul!" I finally said, letting go of my hug before collapsing to the floor through lack of energy. Applejack and Fluttershy shortly rushed me back to the couch. You know its funny, I haven't known these talking horses for a hour, and already half the stuff I did wouldn't fly by in my world... These creatures really are nice.

What are you saying, you need to figure out how to get home before these horses actually kill ya!

Yea, I know. But it probably won't be so bad staying here until I figure out my way back.

My stomach started to rumble as I haven't ate since two days ago. "Do you guys have anything to eat?" I said shaking in hunger.

"Well, We weren't sure about what your kind ate, so I just whipped up an apple pie, because no one can turn down my apple pies!" Said Applejack with pride. "Would you like some, sugarcube?" she finished, waiting for my response.

Well, that apple pie does smell delicious from where that scent was coming from. I guess one pie couldn't bite, right?

fat ass

"Sure!" I replied with glee.

"Alrighty Then!" said Applejack. "Hey Fluttershy, could you go fetch that pie tray. I have to tell this.....ummm ugh." she stopped not knowing my name or species.

"Oh, Just call me Stan please." I interrupted.

"Right!" Applejack continued. "I have to tell Stan here all about Equestria If he's going to be staying here for awhile." Applejack finished as Fluttershy nodded and headed into the next room, that I assumed was the kitchen.

And soon enough Applejack started as I laid down to listen to the fictional stories that uttered from the mares muzzle.

Chapter 2: Clothing 'n' Junk

"And well that pretty much sums up how we six met, and defeated countless evil folk." Finishes Applejack telling the story of the super powered ponies, or something like that. I was too in tooned by the taste of this pie, HOLY SHIT it was delicious.

"Any questions their, partner?" She continued as I finish the pie. I respond

"No, but this pie was incredible!" I said in awe. She giggled at my joy from the pie, As I had it literally on my face.

"You should probably go wash your face their, Stan." She said pointing at the apple glazed substance on my face. I quickly touch my face to see exactly what she was talking about. And there it was, The sweet substance of apple pic on my hands.

You pig.

"Hey! Your right." I replied to Applejack "Sorry I couldn't help it. But this pie right here is. The. Fucking. SHIT." I said with glee as I got up to wash my face. Applejack was then confused by my choice of language, but accepted the gesture anyway. I continued

"Wheres the bathroom?" I asked getting a better view of the cottage in days.

"It's upstairs, To the right." She replied. I nodded my head and my way towards the stairs. Until a thought hit me.

Hey fatass! Don't you think your too big to be walking up some stairs made for small horses?

At that moment, I turn to Applejack for approval.

"Hey Applejack. Wont these stairs collapse or something, over my size?" I questioned

"Ah don't think so. But Ah can assure you that they're sturdy enough to hold 3 mules." Applejack responded

"Well... Alright then." I said nervously taking my first step on the stairs. Each creek in every step I made up the stairs made my heart drop further and further, until I made it to the top. "Well that was easy." I said with relief under my breath.

I soon found the bathroom and made my way inside, because the door was already open and there was no need to knock. The bathroom operated quite well then I expected in this world, especially cottage wise. The sink, toilet, and tub all looked the same as they do on my world, but they were only a couple of inches smaller. I turned to look at the mirror to see my glorious pie filled face, and I came to spot a couple of bruises on my neck, most likely from the neck snapping incident. It didn't hurt that much anymore, but I didn't make it any better by trying to chock myself to death. I also noticed a 2 dimensional figure upon myself, but then I thought "I have seen worst then this, and i'm pretty sure i'm not on drugs."

I started to turn the sink faucet to clear my face, when suddenly, from the corner of my eye I notice a white bunny pass the bathroom. I quickly sticked my head out the door to tell if this was true, And quite frankly it was, as the little white thing bounced down the stairs. "What a peaceful place." I thought to myself while turning back to the sink to finish the job.

After I got done freshening up, I notice a smelly aroma coming from my armpits.

Dude, just say you fucking stink...

My thoughts were right, I did stink. I probably should take a shower soon before these other ponies start noticing. So I made my way towards the tub, until another thought hit me. "Even if I were to take a bath, I didn't bring extra clothes with me. I would remain smelling like shit!" I thought to myself, now making my way out the bathroom.

As I started walking back down stairs, not thinking about the consequences this time. I tripped over one of the oddly shape steps, and quickly plummeted towards the ground face first. But I quickly jolted up like it was just a inconvenience...

Who the fuck are ya? Superman ore something?!

My brain had the good right to question what just happened, it's like ever since I got here... I felt different health wise. I feel like, if I got knocked down, I could get back up in a matter of seconds . But then again, It could be drugs...

Applejack then came running out of the kitchen into the room over hearing me falling.

"Are ya okay, Sugarcube?" She asked with much concern

"Yea i'm surprisingly alright actually." I replied dusting off my shoulders.

"Oh thank Celestia, Ah wouldn't know what we'll do if you gotten hurt again. You were just beginning to get the hang of this world." said Applejack relieved of my condition. Again, these horses really care about me, it almost made me blush at the idea.

You.Fucking.Faggot.

"It's okay really." I assured her. "But could I ask you a question?" I continued.

"Yeah, Sure Anything." She replied curiously.

"Okay, You said that one pony.... um Rarity? Could make clothes right?"

"Yeah?"

"Ok Cool, I was wondering if she could make me some new clothes, ya know? Since i'm going to be living here for a while and all..." I finished

"Oh yea sure, she could do that!" she responded. "Just tell her your a friend of ours." she continued.

I raised my eyebrow for a second thinking that she would led me to her. So I asked

"Wait, your not taking me to her?." I asked her.

"To be honest, Ah want to, but I spent too much time here then I should've. I was just about to head back to the farm and pick up Applebloom from school." She explained

I wasn't sure who Applebloom was, but she must be pretty important so I wasn't going to question it.

"Oh, That's alright. What about Fluttershy, could she take? I asked.

"She left to go get some animal food some time ago. So i'm afraid not, partner." She replied. "Why don't ya just go by yourself?" she added.

I then thought to myself the weird stares I might receive upon arrival to this pony filled land. I might just get arrested for being an illegal alien or something. But then again, if Applejack and Fluttershy are kind enough to care for me, the place shouldn't be so bad.

"I was, it's just that I don't know my way around here pretty well, so I thought I should have a guide or something." I finally responded.

"It's a giant pink and blue boutique, it's pretty hard to miss in Ponyville." Applejack replied leaving out the door. I guess it is up to me. Might as well get this over with I assume.

As soon as I left the front door, a breeze of fresh air punched me in the face. The atmosphere here was like no other compared to my world. The birds flying, the little critters grazing, the horses in the sky pushing clou....... WAIT JUST A FUCKING MINUTE! Horses pushing clouds in the motherfucking sky? How is that logica...... You know what nevermind.

I continued walking down the hill of Fluttershy's cottage, looking at the other odd sites as I made my journey towards Ponyville.

I past a few sites upon arrival like this one giant ass mountain with towers and a glorious waterfall surrounding it. I guess that's were the princess lady lives. Applejack told me she had great magical powers, or some shit. So I highly plan on meeting her, maybe she'll know how to get me back home.

A little closer coming towards the town, I notice more horses than i'm used to. It's like everywhere left to right, I see another fucking pony. Applejack wasn't kidding about the term "Pony" in Ponyville. But, I smelled like shit, so there is always a good side of getting through this I guess.

The boutique was a couple of blocks away from my angle of view, and already ponies started eyeballing me, whispering to each other while pointing. I just simply ignored them, and made my way. There were colorful horses left and right, some red with black manes, some black with red manes, and alot of them had tattoos. "Man these ponies sure do love body art." I thought to myself heading towards the door I hoped was Rarity's.

I held my breath for a long while before knocking on the door. Three simple slow knocks came from my fist while I waited. I then hear trotting towards the door, I then tried my best to think of a good first impression to give the mare. The door then swings open.

"Hello?" I hear an anonymous voice say from the other side. I wasn't quite sure were the voice was coming from, but it sounded like a child. I replied.

"Um, Is anyone home?" I asked unaware of where the voice was coming from.

"Yes, I'm right here!" I heard the anonymous voice say once again. But still no sight. I even tried looking inside the house a little, still no one.

"Where are you exactly?" I asked once more in confusion.

"I'M DOWN HERE!" I heard the aggravated anonymous child like voice say. I soon looked down in response to see what the voice was talking about. It was then I saw another horse... but this time it was a smaller version of the ones i'm used to seeing. Like a midget version of them. She was white, with a purple and pink mane, and clear green eyes. I then asked out of curiosity...

"Oops, Sorry didn't see ya there. Um... Are you Rarity?" I said starching my neck nervously.

She then cocked her head, then laughed at the view of my question. I was going to laugh too, now realizing I might be at the wrong house or something. I have to admit, looking at that midget pony laugh was a cute site, but I still wanted my question answered. She then continued and told me.

"No, haha. I'm Sweetie Belle! Rarity is my sister." She said still chuckling at the fact that I thought she was her sister.

"Oh! Um, Well, This is embarrassing. Well is she here?" I asked trying not to look silly.

"Yea she's here, she's upstairs actually! You can come in if you'd like." She said with a nice gesture and smile. Well I didn't want to be rude, so I accepted her offer and sat down on a near by couch as she bolted up the stairs. By the looks of the place from where I was looking seemed pretty fancy. Almost like this should be the princesses castle.

I soon heard trotting coming down the stairs of two ponies this time. Then showed up a mare, this time with a white coat just like her sister's, and just a purple mane.

"Hello, Darling. What can I do you for-..." She then stopped by the glance of my unlikely species i'm assuming. I think I would've reacted the same way if I saw a alien in my house. So I broke the barrier of silence.

"Um hey, Rarity. I'm a friend of Applejack and Fluttershy's. I'm here to get a couple changes of clothes?" I told her. She then started frequently blinking before replying.

"Oh! You must be that creature Rainbow Dash told me about a couple of days ago." She replied.

"Yep, that's a... That's me!" I said not being aware of her knowing about me. "So can you help me out?" I continued. She was haste to reply.

"Well I was on my break, but any friend of my friends is a friend of mine." She said with a smile. I smiled also at this, how generous she was to help me out. People here are 10 times nicer than the people on my world.

"Thank You Very Much, Miss Rarity." you said with glee

Did.....Did you just call a horse.....A Miss?

"Please, No need for the added "Miss", It makes me feel old. Just call me Rarity." she assured me. But then her sister butted in by saying.

"Haha, You ARE old Rarity!" said the little pony with laughter. It then came to my attention that she was the "little" sister of the house, and not a midget like I speculated. But Rarity just rolled her eyes at what she said and continued.

"Well, Moving on. I will have to need your clothing measurements, Especially for a type of creature I never made clothing for." continued the mare. Which was weird because I really didn't know my sizes that well, I would usually call my mom for that type of stuff. And even when I shopped by myself I always bought extra large..... everything, so I'd know it will automatically fit. So I replied with-

"Um, I don't know my measurements real well.." I said looking towards the ground.

"No need to worry, I'll take your measurements for you. It only takes a couple of minutes anyway." She said assuring me not to worry.

"Oh Cool! Thanks Rarity!" I said hopping from the couch in joy.

"No Problem, Dear. Just take off your clothing and under garments and we'll get started." Rarity said while grabbing little red glasses and tape measures with her magic horn thingy.

"Yea, Sure......Wait, WHAT!"

Chapter 3: Applesauce

Chapter 3: Applesauce

I felt like I stood on Rarity's measuring platform for ages. It was just pure silence while the tape measure was going back and forward around my body. It was even more awkward measuring me... while I was naked. NOT butt ass naked, I had a small towel strap across my manhood to make sure no horse could view it. But still... It was awkward.

"So um." Rarity utters, breaking the wall of silence. "What is your name, dear?"

"huh?" I responded

"What is your name, if your going to be a friend of mine I think I should at least know your name." Rarity continued finishing up her measurements. "So what is it?" She added.

"It's Stanley" I replied "But just call me Stan for short, please." Assuring her not to call me that idiotic first name of mines. But it was too late.

"Haha Stanley, that's a such a cute name. I'm going to call you that for now on!" Said Sweetie Belle as she chuckled. Frustrated as I was for a couple of seconds, I the remembered that she was just a filly and didn't know any better. So I simply chuckled with her as Rarity finished up.

"That's about it!" she concluded assuring me to get off the platform. "Do you have any clothing requests in particular?" she continued getting out a piece of paper and quill like it was the fucking 1800's.

"Yes, Um. I'd like a couple of plain colored T-shirts, and jeans maybe." I said really thinking about what I would wear over the count of days. But she just gave me a glance of confusion not being aware of what I was talking about.

"Um... Well. Much similar to what i'm wearing right now, but just make it different colors." I finished making my request a little more notable. And she shook her head and understood this time.

"Alright Stan, If you come by this afternoon your clothes should be ready by then." she said finishing her writing on the paper. "Is there anything else you would want? Like new under garments or a jacket?" she added.

"Yes please, and a new belt if you can." I replied

"Alright, You can put your clothes back on now." She said glancing towards my clothes that were sitting on a near by table. As I went over to pick up my clothes, I forgot to thank her for wasting her valuable time on my smelly ass. So I went up to her for a handshake. Surprised at the gesture, Rarity lended out her hoof to return the nice gratitude towards her newly found friend. But as reached for my hand, I felt a slight breeze coming from in between my legs... It was then I saw...

DUDE YOUR FUCKING TOWEL FELL..... YOU JUST WHIPPED YOUR SCHLONG OUT IN FRONT OF 2 TALKING HORSES. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!!

My thoughts wasn't lying. I was just standing there frozen at the site. Until things got weirder.

"Hey Stanley, why is your horn down there, and not on top of your head. And why is it shaped like that?" Shouts Sweetie Belle from the site of the weird encounter. I then regained my composure as soon as she finished that little comment, picked up my towel, and look towards Rarity. (who was also frozen at the site.) I then awkwardly asked...

"Um, Wha- Where's your bathroom?" I asked blushing furiously. She then pointed towards to the direction without blinking from her spot, and I headed my way in dash.

"Leaving that place was a bigger relief off my shoulders then ever." I thought to myself, walking from the house after I got dressed. "Well at least i'm getting some clothes after all that madness." I thought again as I looked around Ponyville. Well, she said come back in the afternoon, So it looks like I have some spare time. I can probably go visit Applejack's farm she told me about. "Gon get me some moe of dem pies!"

As I walk down the streets of Ponyville I received more glares from more horses, much more then last time I was out. There was even these 2 pink and purple ponies walking towards Rarity's house spotting me on their way. I felt like I was fucking famous or something. I've gotten so much attention here, I started to even see mares and colts approaching me with questionable faces.

Fuck this shit, you better get the fuck out of here before you end up getting assassinated!

My brain was quick to judge as I bolted through the crowd, making my way towards Sweet Apples Acres. Which ended up being a longer walk then I expected, The sun was beginning to set as I saw the farm. "Yes, I finally fucking made it!" I thought to myself collapsing on my knees to catch my breath. I soon heard a nearby familiar voice across from me.

"Ya Ok There, Stan?" A Southern voice calls out revealing to be Applejack. I simply nodded my head in response still catching my breath. Turning my head up to see the mare myself, and sure enough it was her alright carrying a bucket of apples with her signature cowboy hat... or should I say "cowpony". Not very sure about the lingo here...

"Ya Sure? You look pretty warned out, did ya get your clothes from Rarity?" Asked the concerned mare once more.

"I made a... request... and she's making them...as we speak." I said breathing hardly after every word.

"Well your more than welcome to come inside the farm. I was about to make lunch anyway." She kindly asked him with concerned eyes.

"Yea thanks, That's actually pretty much the reason I came running here in the first place." I replied with my normal tone of voice this time. "Your apple pie was the bomb!" I added.

"MY APPLE PIE HAD A BOMB IN IT!?" She shouted with confusion...

Damn... I guess your not the only slow one in this world.

"No I meant your pie was super delicious, silly." I said assuring her not to panic. She then blushed at how she reacted, and we both started making our way towards the mares farm.

"Anything else happen while ah was gone?" Applejack asked while we were walking

Thinking back to the weird scenes that happened to today wanting to forget, I replied with..

"No, just a peaceful, calm, visit their. And nothing certainly happened unusual." I say with nervousness under my voice.

She then raised a eyebrow, and we continued walking no questions asked.

Almost making contact with the front Applejack then stopped me and said.

"Wait Here, Ah gotta go tell the family we're having company." she said going inside the farm. So I waited like she said standing out the door looking around the sky. I then saw a glowing pink field around the sun as it was setting. "Applejack was right about those two princesses controlling the sun and moon, It almost makes me think twice about-."

Before I could even finish my thought, The door forcefully smashes open revealing a large hulking horse! My first instinct was to run as fast as I fucking could, but then again I have yet to see a mean horse here yet, so maybe it's- OOF! Trampled to the ground by the large stallion, I took no second hesitation to run from it. Running as fast as I could, I hear Applejack's voice from a distance.

"BIG MAC, NO!"

How could she think about burgers at a time like this.

Still running, I looked behind me to see if I was gaining an advantage.... Sadly.. I was wrong. The red horse was closer than I expected when I turned around. His huge fucking eyes glaring at my soul. Trying to get my speed increasing... It was too late...

BOOM!!!

My ass went flying above the ground and impacted as the stallion tackled me from behind... I- I couldn't move.

...this might be a bad time. BUT... YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!

I started to fade out the scene as I saw Applejack scolding at the stallion... Her big brother, Big Macintosh.

Chapter 4: Twilight: Breaking Back

Whispers... Whispers was all I could hear while I was knocked out into oblivion. Some of the voices sounded familiar, Like Applejack and Rarity. But their was this one specific voice I couldn't quite put my finger on. I know I've heard it before on my world, most likely on a T.V. show or something like that countless times. But I still wasn't sure.

"Come up here Spike, He's moving!" I heard the anonymous familiar voice say. Happy to see me alive. Who ever she was... She cared apparently. Her voice then reminded me about power... some kind of "strong"-ness to it, but i'm getting off subject here.

I started gaining enough conscious to try and open my eyes to the occurring voice. And you'll never guess where it was coming from... THAT'S RIGHT, ANOTHER FUCKING TALKING HORSE. I would at least think i'd be used to them by now, but I don't know. She was that one purple horse I saw walking into Rarity's boutique as I left.

"Hey there sleepy head, ya feeling alright?" Questioned the purple pony, surprised to see my eyes.

"I- I feel funny.." I stated really feeling unusual . It then came to my attention that I had a purple field aura surrounding my body.Scared SHITLESS I continued

"Are you sucking my body fluids from my ass and eyes!?" I said panicking, but I couldn't move an inch.

"Um... WHAT? No, why would I do such a thing?" she said assuring me not to panic. But I didn't give in.

"Then why can't I fucking move!" I said shouting at her. Her eyes then got big and worried as I shouted. But then she shortly lowered her eyes with anger.

"Most friends would thank ponies for saving there lives!" she uttered frustrated at my attitude. I wasn't even sure where I was, let alone even know who this pony was. Last thing I remember after the accident was Applejack asking me if I was ok, but I responded to her by passing out. How I ended up here is beyond my thought.

"First off, I don't even know who you are, to even think of calling you my friend. And Second... Where am I?!" I responded still a little frustrated, but calming down. She soon looked at me with sadistic eyes as soon as I mention I wasn't her friend. The horse are really freaking me out, its like friendship is magic to them or something... But then she finally replied.

"Um, Y- Your in my house, after you were injured by Big Mac, Applejack told me to use my healing spell on you till you get better." she responded while looking at the ground, I guess she still thought I was mad at her. And to be honest, I still kinda was. I just wish she could've told me sooner... Now, I feel bad.

"...Oh." I responded looking to the other side of me.

"Hey Twilight, Did you say something?" I heard a male voice down stairs calling. It didn't get my attention to turn around, because there was still an awkward silence in the room we were in. The voice has then gotten closer..

"I couldn't hear you at first-..." The male voice then came to a stop as it saw us in complete silence.

"What's going on in here?" The voice asked. It was then I turned around to see... You know what... Take a wild guess again. It took me by surprise the first time i've seen it. Oh, And if you think you guess right... You was wrong. It wasn't another talking magical powered horse. Nope. It was a FUCKING midget purple dragon!

"HOLY SHIT! IT'S A FUCKING MIDGET DRAGON!" I said excitedly upon site, like I was a fucking 9 year old on Christmas day. " I've always wanted one!" I added. I then looked over to the purple unicorn beside me with a sly smile on her face because of my reaction.

"Hey, Hey. Let's get one thing straight here. I'm not a "midget" dragon.." Replied the purple dragon with confidence.

"That's right. He's not a "midget" dragon. He a BABY dragon!" Finished the purple horse beside me. The dragon then lightly blushes in embarrassment. It didn't really make a difference to me, it was still a FUCKING actual dragon... and it talked too. It was a fucking awesome site to see.

"This is spike, he is my trusty assistant." Continued the mare. Which took me by surprised, I mean he's a fucking dragon, what is he doing assisting horses. Could he just set this place a blaze with his dragon fire or something... but this world. *Facepalm

The mare then traveled her look back to me with concern. I also looked towards her with an eyebrow. I didn't even now her name, but yet I yelled at her... Those feels, man.

"Um, Wh- What's your name again?" I asked stuttering nervously.

"It's Twilight... " She said without hesitation. Upon hearing that name, flashes of that horrible book series I hate came into thought.

"Are you aware that you have the same name as a book on my world?" I asked her. Her eyes then lit up with amazement over the thought.

"A book? About Twilight. That's always been a dream of hers" quoted Spike over the idea also.

"Trust Me, You wouldn't like to be known after this book, it's so horrible!" I said assuring them that it's not nothing to be excited over.

"Aw, Come on. How bad can it be?" said Twilight curiously.

"You. Do Not. Want To Know" I replied with all seriousness. Her eyes began to be wide open after I said it, and she just took my word on it.

"Well, All books aside, How are ya feeling?" asked the concerned mare. It then came to my attention that she really did care for me, even when I overreacted to her. I knew very soon I would have to apologize for my actions.

"I'm feeling better than how I was before I passed out. How long was I out anyway?"

"Oh, Um... 3 days so far."

"3 DAYS!" I shouted surprised at how much time has elapsed.

"Yea, Your injuries were quite critical. We're more than lucky that your even alive, right now." explained Twilight.

"Injuries? What broke?" I said curiously.

"Well your spinal cord was broken in half from the impact of the hit, and your left shoulder fractured also." Replied Twilight

ouch.

Ouch was indeed the right thing to say. If this happened to me in my world....I'd pretty much be Dead. Now I really have to thank this mare as soon as possible.

"What happened the last few days?" I asked.

"Applejack and Big Mac visited you on the daily basis, Rarity came by and dropped off some clothes for you, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash came by to check up on you also." said Spike, even though I asked Twilight. I was surprised that so many ponies cared, let alone Rainbow Dash. Looks like being attack by burgers can really get you some attention.

"Wow." was simply my response. My stomach then started to grumble. I was hungry as shit... I wish I had my chips back.

"Um, Twilight. Do you have anything to eat? I'm starving up a storm here."

"I would recommend you not to eat for a while."

"WHAT! Why?" I shouted in confusion.

"Because If I stop doing the spell you'll go back into your pained state, and you might pass out again. She said. "I have been doing this spell for the last 3 days also, so I know how you feel." she finished with the look of being tired.

"So how long is it going to be until your finished?" I asked staring at my stomach

"Funny you asked, This is actually the last day until tomorrow afternoon. You should be stable by then." She said looking at her growling stomach as well. We both were obviously hungry, and we both smelled pretty bad... Well me specifically. But still, I might die of starvation at any time now it seemed.

"Could you like... Um, take the spell off for a couple of minutes, So I can at least eat a quick snack or something." I asked looking questionably at the mare.

"Are you sure you can bare the pain if I do? she said raising her eyebrow at the question.

"Come on how bad can it hurt?" I said pretty sure of myself.

"Alright, if you say so." Twilight said releasing the spell. I didn't feel any different actually, I didn't know what see she was worried about. I felt fine! I then rose out of the bed at a quick pace to hurry and eat something... But then..

"HOLY BULL FUCKING SHIT, ASS, SUGAR TITS MCGEE!!!" I shouted out as I collapsed to ground in unbearable pain. Spike then ran away as quick as he could, alarmed by the loud language. I felt like Mike Tyson punched me in the back 68 times with his bare fists, just before Liu Kang snapped my left arm in half. I started blacking out as I had a painful seizure on the cold wooden floor.

"I told you so." Was all I heard, as I lost the will to keep my eyes open.

Dear Princess Celestia,

It is now Day 4 of me using the occurring healing spell on Stan, Tomorrow he should be up and running. He passed out today a couple of minutes after waking up, but he'll be just fine. I'm still not quite sure about this species just yet. He very unique and his vocabulary is a bit... "rural". It also comes to my attention that it doesn't have hooves like we ponies, but yet he has the same features comparing to spike and other creatures, with what they call claws, paws, and other names. This creature also has aggression among meeting new encounters, but seems to calm down through progression. I've also noticed he has a horn like us unicorns. But it only seems to be visible during night, then it goes back hidden during the day. I haven't noticed it until last night when I tried to get a better angle of it but it was beneath various clothing, I then came to my attention that he wanted it hidden. Although... This is for research.. I think he'll understand. I'm going to get more information on it, and send it to you as quick as I can.

Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle.

It was nightfall and the mare was more than ready to begin studying. Twilight Sparkle started to focus her magic on the sheets that were covering Stan as he slept. Carefully sliding it down his body to reveal his clothes. It was then she saw the horn she speculated last night sticking from under his pants. Taking a more careful look at it this time, she began unzipping his pants to have better look. The horn then began to stick out more under the protective clothing. She then began carefully sliding his under garment down to reveal majestic horn. As soon as she was finished unveiling all the clothing, she began examining the addition.

"This is an oddly peculiar shape for a horn, but then again.. it is a different species." she whispered to herself. The mare began focusing her magic on the Stan's horn as it kept swaying and moving while she was analyzing. Focusing her magic for a while, then horn began to expand in size. This amazed Twilight at the site on how big it had gotten. She then began focusing more magic on the horn to prevent it from getting any bigger. Looking around it, Twilight then saw a hole at the tip of the horn. This intrigued her even more as she focused her magic on what was inside. And what seemed like a short while after she did, the horn started to rumble and burst a white liquid substance onto Stan's shirt. It was then she realized... I wasn't a horn...

"OH ON, OH NO, OH NO, OH NO." was all she was thinking panicking at the site.

"What am I going to do.." she then thought biting on her hooves. It was with quick decision, she decided that NOTHING happened. She soon began sliding his under garments and pants back up in a rush. And Upon zipping up his pants, something unforchunate happens. His "horn" got caught upon zipping, and Stan rises in a instant

"HOLY DOG FUCK TWILIGHT! What happened?" screamed Stan while holding on to himself.

"Um.... What are you talking about, it must of been a bad dream or something-, You should go back to sleep" She said scratching her neck and uncontrollably laughing.

"Hmm, Your probably right." Said Stan looking sleepy once again.

"But Twilight....Um- this seems like a perfect time to tell you something." Stan continued while turning to the mare, who begins to look in concern.

"I- I'm sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to yell at you. I now even consider you as a friend also, after basically saving my life... " Stan said with his eyes closed hoping for a good response.

Twilight then quickly hugged Stan as if she hasn't seen him in years. "Apology accepted." said twilight hugging him tightly. Stan then returned the gesture also, even if he was a little sore. After the short hug Stan vision then glides down to his T-shirt, which was covered in a white sticky substance.

"What is this?" he said while examining the liquid. Twilight then replied with a blushing giggle, Which raises a eyebrow from Stan.

Chapter 5: Twlightlisious (Warning: Badassery Takes Place)

The next morning I felt pretty good. Matter of fact I felt better than ever, Like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I guess last night I got some stress removed, during the process of waking up to an unusual sensation.

Yea, It was unusual alright.

As I rose from the bed, I glanced towards Twilight, who was taking a well needed nap. I smiled at the site of the mare's slumber, resting herself after 4 days of healing me, she has to be exhausted. I then tossed the sheets that comforted me onto Twilight for a nice gesture. I still couldn't move from the spot I was in, so I couldn't go anywhere. And staying up only made it worst, because I was really hungry.

"spike....SPIKE." I said over a quite tone of voice, hoping the purple dragon could here me.... But there was no answer.

"Spike....Are you up?" I asked again from a distance. It was then I heard something coming up stairs. It was Spike.

"Yea Stan? What do ya need?" asked the purple dragon upon arrival.

"Um...Could you like make me some... cereal? I questioned him stumbling over my words.

"Twilight said, not to feed you. It might effect the spell."

"But Spiiiiiiike, I'm dying over here. One bite couldn't hurt, right?"

"I don't know...."

"Spike, come on man, please?"

You pathetic FATSO!

Spike was then questionable for a couple seconds before answering.

"Oh alright. But don't tell Twilight, Okay?

"Deal."

Spike then made his way downstairs to make me a bowl of cereal. I then glazed my look back over to Twilight, hoping she didn't hear the conversation me and Spike just had. Thankfully she didn't. Over the process of plates clattering and milk being poured, My looks shifted to in front of me and back to Twilight many times. Until Spike made his way upstairs again.

"Aw thanks Spike, your a life saver." I said in my normal voice, forgetting Twilight was there. She started twisting and turning.

"Shhhh, Be quiet Stan, Did you forget Twilight is standing right there?" said Spike walking towards me with the cereal. He then started to spoon feed me, because I couldn't move. Upon feeding, the spoon couldn't go through the magical aura.

"Stan.... I can't get through this magic."

"What!" I said, frustrated at the fact that I couldn't eat.

"I guess I can't feed you regardless." Spike said as he turned the spoon towards himself. I was so hungary I didn't care how I got it, as long as I had it. And watching him eat it would make it worst for me. I then thought...

"throw it..." I said under my breath

"Huh?"

"THROW THE GOT DAMN CEREAL AT MEH!" I shouted to him. Startling Spike, he knew I wasn't going to take "no" for an answer. Starting to back up, Spike prepares the throw.

"If you say so.." Is all Spike said before giving a mighty throw at the magical shield... but sadly, it didn't have any effect. Matter of fact, the cereal bowl bounced off the shield out of an outside window hitting someone, making them respond in a "Ouch".

Twilight then awoke at the ruckus and quickly turn towards Spike as he bolted down stairs. Her look then turned towards me. I gave a sheepish smile like nothing happened.

"Did Spike try to feed you?" She said with a cocked eyebrow of concern.

"Ughhhh, No?" I simply said shifting my eyes around the room.

*That Afternoon

"Are you ready?" Twilight said, assuring me if I was prepared for the spell to be released.

"Ready then I've ever been."

"I have to admit, I'm going to miss you being here."

"You don't have to worry, I'm sure I'll visit someday before I have to go."

"Go where?"

"Home, I have to go back to my world someday, right?"

"I guess." Twilight disappointedly said. She soon release the spell at a blink of an eye, but soon collapsed to the floor. With my newly found strength, I quickly aided her.

Well look who has feelings.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, bending to her height.

"Yea, Just a little worn out. Just leave me her for awhile, I'll be alright." She assured me.

"You sure?"

"Yea, Just go get you something to eat and freshen up, I'll be ok."

"Alright."

I then started my way downstairs, and took a second glance at Twilight.

"Hey, You never told me your last name" I said remember very little about her.

"It's Sparkle... Twilight Sparkle." She said with a kind smile.

"oh." Is all I simply said as I continued down the stairs. I saw Spike downstairs enjoying a sack of diamon-.... WAIT A MINUTE!

THIS FUCKING DRAGON IS EATING DIAMONDS!

"Um Spike...What are you eating exactly?" I said confused at the sight.

"Some gems me and Rarity dug up last week, I have 5 left!"

"Can I have one?" I curiously said awaiting for a reply.

"Sure, No problem Stan." said Spike tossing me a blue gem. I obviously wasn't going to eat it. I'm going to save this shit to get the big bucks on my world.

"Thanks Spike, your the man!"

"No, I'm a dragon." He said laughing. I soon joined in on the laugh, and started to look around to see I was in a library. A quite unusual place to live, but then again... I am in a land full of talking hore-.... "ponies".

"Sqawk!"

As I finished my thought, I turn around to see a fucking owl launch towards my ass.

"What tha-" Was all I could utter before being attack by the winged fiend. Clawing me top to bottom, left to right. I was just healed only to get injured again, it seems like.

"Owlowiscious, Stop it. Stan's been our guest for 4 days now." Spike said demanding the animal to stop. But it was no use, the menace kept attacking. It soon came to thought, I had to take matters into my own hands. I pushed the owl back as far as I could just before grabbing Spike, and picking him up in shotgun position.

"You can spit fire,right?" I asked Spike in a haste.

"Yea, but-.."

"GOOD ENOUGH!"

I soon cocked Spike simulating as if he was a gun, and blasted that fucking owl to oblivion! It was completely out of sight, as colorful dust swifted towards the air and out the window. Twilight then heard the commotion coming from down stairs and rushed as quickly as she could.

"What going on! Where's Owlowiscious?!" She immediately said upon arrival.

"In Hell." I said, with a badass tone of voice. "Right?" I continued, looking towards spike as he facepalmed.

Twilight soon looked at me with an frustrated facial expression.

"What?" I said with an confused look on my face.

Chapter 6: Stop, Pinky Time!

Not recalling the events that just happened Twilight then made her demeanor at a normal state, and asked.

"Hey Stan. Are you still hungry?"

"More than ever!" I said with glee over the thought of eating.

"Well I know the perfect pony you should meet!"

"Who?"

"You'll see." Twilight said with a sly smile. It didn't really matter to me, as long as I was eating....I pretty much didn't give a crap.

Twilight then trotted her way towards the front door, signaling me to come with her.

"Spike, keep the library open while i'm gone. I'll be right back."

"Peace Spike."

"Alright Twilight. Bye Stan!" We heard Spike say as he waved us off.

I wasn't very sure where we were going, but as long as food is involved...

You just don't stop..Do ya?

It was also soothing to see the horses stares calm down, when I was walking along side Twilight. I had still had a couple of glances left and right, but it didn't really bother like the last time. I even started to get a better view of Ponyville while we were walking also, it was a pretty big establishment, for horses..

"So what do you think of our world so far." Twilight said breaking the silence as we were walking.

"It ain't bad, I'm actually getting used to it...I think." I simply said looking around the town.

"Really? Enough for you to stay a little longer?" Said twilight with concern under her voice. I was actually intridged by how much the mare wanted me to stay. She probably even has a little crush on me, how cute.

"I wouldn't mind staying longer, but eventually..." I suddenly stopped and smelled myself, and then my nose traveled towards Twilight... We stunk like we just got out of a shower full of sweat. It also just came to my attention that Rarity brought me some clothes a couple of days ago, and I have yet to wear them.

"What's the matter Stan?" Twilight asks observing as I was smelling myself.

"Ummm....Twilight."

"Yeah?"

"We stink." I said not looking towards Twilight as I uttered. I then hear her sniff herself a few times. She noticed it also.

"Y-Yes, Yes we do indeed smell." She said with a sheepish smile "But I'm hungry, and last time I checked you were starving."

I then remembered the events that occurred during this morning, and the cereal I haven't gotten to taste.

"Now which one seems important to you?" Twilight stated.

"Your right." Is all I said before we continued walking to the unknown location. Upon arrival I seen colorful shop nearby we were closing in to. It had a fucking half-eaten gingerbread piece on top of the house, followed by other sweets with 3 lit candles on top of the place to complete. I have no fucking idea of why I haven't noticed it before, but I was liking what I was seeing.

"WOW, Is this the place we're headed?"

"Yep, It's called Sugarcube Corner!" replied Twilight pointing towards the place, introducing it as so.

"Aw Man!" I said with glee over the sound of the name, I knew it was a bakery! "I can't wait to go inside!"

"You sound awfully excited." Twilight chortled as we walked inside the establishment.

As soon as we went in, the smell of all the sweets I could eat entered my nose. It looked even more cooler inside then it did out. I started to look around at all the sights that were edible.

"Hey Pinkie Pie, Are ya here?" Shouted Twilight towards the back of the store.

"Pinkie Pie?" I questioned the name. "Is that some talking pink pie or something?"

"Haha, No silly. Pinkie Pie's one of my pony friends, and she also runs this place."

"Really?..."

Before I could even utter another word, a Pink pony burst through the back doors of the shop and rushed towards my way. And at the blink of an eye, I was tackled down to the wooden ground by the horse.

"Oh My Gosh, Who is this Twilight? Is this a new friend of yours? Why does he look different? Why is he so tall? Why is he wearing clothes?

The pink pony kept bouncing on my stomach several times before I could even get in a word. It was soon Twilight use his magic to get her off of me.

"Why does he smell funny?" Was the last question Pinkie uttered after getting off of me. I was still hesitantly trying to breath after all that madness.

Well.... She seems nice.

"Pinkie Pie! Why did you do that to my new friend."

"I'm sorry Twilight, I just love meeting new people!"

"I understand that, but he just got through being injured."

"Nope, I'm fine." I assured them while coughing repeatedly. "Just fine."

"I'm sorry mister I was just so super-duper excited to meet someone new!"

"It's Okay... I'm getting used to it." I assured her still coughing.

Your so fucking weak, If that was me, I would've said "BITCH, KILL YA SELF!." then walked off like nothing happened.

"What's your name anyway, mister?" Pinkie asked with concern.

"It's Stanley Madison, But you can call me Stan for short." I said regaining my breath.

"I like Stanley better, I'm going to start calling you that for now on!"

As soon as she said that, I face palmed myself for even telling her my actual name in general.

"You Okay?" Pinkie said, concerned that I slapped myself on the forehead.

"Yea, Just a little hungry." I replied, now rubbing my stomach as it growled.

"Well you came to the right place! Follow me to the back, and I'll fix ya something."

Me and Twilight then followed Pinkie as she hopped to the back of the store. As soon as I went inside, I thought I was a fucking kid again. Flour, Butter, Mix, Different flavors of everything you can dream of was in this kitchen. I remember making crap with my mother when I was younger, Cakes, Muffins, Cupcakes you name it. I was a skilled baker, which kind of explains my love for food.

NO. It's because your a lonely miserable Fatass!

"So what would you like to eat, you two?"

"I'm not sure yet, how about you Stan?"

Upon Twilight asking that exact question my eyes shifted towards the chocolate cupcake mix. I gazed there for a moment thinking of all the possibilities of greatness I could make out of that.

"Um, Stan?" Twilight asked again because I didn't respond to the last question. "What do you want to eat?..."

I finally blinked my eyes in reality of the question, and bolted my eyes towards Pinkie Pie in flash and asked without any hesitation.

"pinkie pie" I whispered to her. "ARE YOU READY...TO MAKE SOME FUCKING CUPCAKES!!!" I finally screamed with eagerness.

Pinkie Pie's eyes soon became wide upon the question. "ready?... READY DOESN'T EVEN BEGAN TO DESCRIBE IT!!!" She yelled out also with happiness. Me and Pinkie quickly fist/hoof bumped each other before starting the madness. It was was then, all Hell broke loose. As I started looking for the ingredients for the creation, Pinkie Pie body's slammed a cupcake tray on the creation table. Twilight then began to gaze at us as we worked, with strangeness over the hype we had over cupcakes.

I finally mixed the ingredients together, and poured the mix into the cupcake tray. Pinkie Pie hurried and grabbed it with her mouth and tossed it in the oven like it was a bomb, and set the temperature. It was then waiting time...

Me and Pinkie Pie just sat in chairs as the cupcakes cooked, we both were in "The Thinker" pose as we watched the awaiting stove.

"Um...Are you guys okay?" said Twilight, breaking the silence in the room after a couple of minutes, but we didn't answer her. Concentration was key at this moment..

"DING!" screamed the oven announcing that the cupcakes were done. We then went back in our insane state of mind as we got the tray out the oven...Hell, I didn't even use gloves.

"PINKIE! What kind of toppings should we put on it!!!" I screamed, shaking her by the shoulders.

"Chocolate Icing?"

"Nope."

"Vanilla Icing?"

"Better, But nope."

"Chocolate & Vanilla?"

"So close, but no!"

"....Ponies?" Pinkie pie asked curiously. Which we reacted in a awkward silence.

"WHAT!? No?" I said breaking the silence. "THESE. CUPCAKES. NEED. SPRINKLES!!!" I shouted at her, making the mare aware of my favorite topping. She then nodded furiously with a big smile on her face and went to go get the topping. As I waited, I jumped up and down like a little school girl, heavily thinking about how the sweets will taste.

"Here they are!" Pinkie Pie announced at a near by counter. She then throws the sprinkles container at me, and I caught it with hesitation. Without any remorse, I took the top off the container and started to pour the sprinkles on top of the finished creation. I then took a deep breath after all the eagerness and said...

"Done."

Pinkie Pie stomped her hooves with glee over the finalization, and couldn't wait to taste them. She rushed forward to cupcakes, and I abruptly stop her for going any further.

"Hey Pinkie, Lets make Twilight the taste tester here, huh?" I asked her while looking towards Twilight. She just stood there this whole time, frozen by us working so... unusually.

"Oh. Alright." said Pinkie Pie slumping down to ground in disappointment.

Twilight then shook her head furiously to make sure she was in reality before answering.

"Yea, Sure. I'll give it a try." she said, hovering a finished cupcake towards her. She was pretty cautious before taking the first bite, but at the shrug of her shoulders she went in for one.

"Mmmm!" was all that could escape her mouth as she went for multiple bites. "Wow Stan, How did you learn how bake this good?" Twilight said finishing her treat.

"Well, I had some practice with my mom growing up. After that, I've been a pro even since." I explained to the purple mare.

"OH OH, Can I have one now pleeeeeeeeeease!?!?" Said Pinkie Pie hopping up and down.

"Sure, dig in" I replied getting myself one also.

"I think I'll have another too" said Twilight, grabbing another cupcake with her magic.

After what seemed like awhile, we all ended up enjoying half of the whole tray. We even talked for awhile about some of the past events that happened to me while in Equestria.

"Wow, I can't believe I haven't met you sooner. If you get a place to live, I'm throwing you a Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge Par-tay!" said Pinkie Pie with glee. She wasn't as much of a hand-full like I thought she would turn out to be.

"We'll see Pinkie Pie, and who knows. I might want to stay a little longer."

"Really?" said Twilight with concern

"I don't see why not."

"That's fantastic, I hope you stay here forever and ever and ever!" Pinkie said rushing in for a hug. Twilight soon joined in also for the embrace... I could actually get used to this place

What..... What happened to you?

"Pee-Eww, But you guys still stink though!" said Pinkie Pie scooting away from the hug. Me and Twilight then looked at each other, and chuckled at the fact.

Chapter 7: Friendship is F*cking Magic

Chapter 7: Friendship is F*cking Magic

"Hey Pinkie Pie, How much do we owe you for the snack anyway?" said Twilight after the laughter we shared about hygiene.

"Oh, Don't worry about it." Pinkie Pie assured Twilight. "I didn't make it anyway. Plus, brand new friends are on the house!"

"Wow, Thanks Pinkie Pie, If I come back again, will it still be free?" I questioned the mare.

"NOPE!" she simply replied smiling. The scene then went quiet for a few seconds until Twilight broke the silence.

"Well, We have to get going, I'm sure we don't want to smell like this forever."

"Good point." I said resisting to sniff myself. "Peace Pinkie, See you around."

"Okie dokie lokie, see ya Twilight. Hope to see you again Stanley." Pinkie Pie said while waving us off as we left the back door of the bakery.

"So, Are you coming back to my place?" Twilight questioned as we headed out. The question was really interesting to me. So I rose a concerning eyebrow. Twilight then got the gist of what she said, and started to blush.

"No, Like that!" she said disregarding any inconvenience.

"It's okay Twilight, I knew what you meant." I said assuring Twilight about the joke. But still, it was pretty interesting thought.

"I was planning on going back to Fluttershy's and taking a shower there, considering the fact that I possibly live there until this point on." I continued, telling Twilight about my plans.

"Oh, Um... What about your clothes?" she asked with a worried expression on her face.

"Can't you just, like. Use your magic horn thingy to teleport it there somehow?"

"I could try." She replied with a hoof on her chin.

"Alright then, I guess I'll be going." I said making my way.

"Alright Stan. I'll see you around." replied Twilight as I wondered off. I still had the feeling she was sad for some reason, but I wasn't sure for what exactly.

I soon made my towards the course I remembered on how to get to Fluttershy's. I memory was kinda hazy but I think I knew the route. It was by some kind of forest, or something, right?

Dude seriously, You need to really figure out how to get back to our world.

"I know, but i'm pretty sure that's going to be awhile though. Might as well enjoy myself while i'm at it."

And your starting to be okay with this whole "Talking Horse" thing, huh?

"Hey, If a horse can help out making cupcakes. They are alright in my book"

Your starting to really freak me out, dude.....

I started to receive those anonymous stares again as I was talking to myself. Apparently these ponies really wanted to know why I was going back and forward into there town, Because one them came trotting up to me causally. Never in my day that i'll even think to see this types of horse here.

"Um, what are you suppose to be." one mare said looking up and down at my height. She wore magenta bows in her orange mane and had light blue coat... oh and did I forget to mention she was wearing "hipster" clothes I SHIT YOU NOT. But I replied anyway.

"Well obviously i'm the one and only, Batman, nice too meet you." I joked to the mares. But they simply took it seriously.

"Batman?, That's such an un-cool name." said the second hipster pony who had orange glasses covering her pink coat with a blue and light blue mane.

"Oh my apologies, call me Bob instead." I assured the hipster duet as I bowed. I wasn't very sure where I was going with this joke, but I just didn't want to talk to hipsters, not even on my planet.

Says the guy, who says the word "SWAG", on numerous occasions.

"Well.... Bob, We've seen you come by Ponyville a couple times, and we wanted to know exactly who you were." said the light blue hipster mare with.

"Yea, You sure don't look like a pony, and you stink too. Explain yourself." said the other hipster mare sporting the glasses. I really didn't feel like answering random questions from a couple of valley horses. So I simply turned around and continued on my route, completely ignoring the mares.

"Eat your vegetables!" Was the last thing I said before waving them off as I left. They just stood there frozen, over the complete randomness that took place. I recall there names being "Surf & Turf", but I really didn't give a shit.

I finally saw Fluttershy's cottage from a close distance, and began to run as it was getting dark from the afternoon. Making my way up the hill and closing in on the door. I began to knock.

"Hey Fluttershy, Ya here?" I said as I knocked...But no answer. I began to become pissed at the fact that I might've made my way here for no reason. But just to be sure, I knocked again.

"Fluttershy, It''s me...Stan!" I said again as I knocked.

"St-Stan?" was all I heard before the cottage door started to open. And on the other side was Fluttershy wearing a robe.

"I thought you were still in a comma." She asked as she opened the door.

"Just got out of it today, I feel better than ever now." I replied, assuring about my condition.

"That's Fantastic!" Fluttershy said rushing in for a tight hug. It practically broke my bones.

"I thought you left and got yourself hurt because of me." continued Fluttershy as we hugged.

"Why would even think of something like that?" I asked, confused on her theory.

She became quiet for a moment and released the hug. Starting to look at the ground she answered

"I thought you would rather die, than stay here." She finally spoke. I shocked at her answer though. I might've probably tried to commit suicide before. But that was on another occasion. I would never do it intentionally.

"Aw come on Fluttershy, Why would I go and do something like that." I asked her with a raised eyebrow. She then began to blush over the dramatization.

"Your right, I just thought the worst. That's all."

"It's okay, plus I wasn't even trying to get hurt. Applejack's BIG brother Big Mac came in and attacked me." I told Fluttershy as I tried to describe his size.

"Oh My, Well your okay now and that's all that matters." Fluttershy said warmly inviting into her home.

It was exactly the way it was since I left. Looking around I began to smell myself over the odor of days sinking in.

"Man, Wheres Twilight with those clothes?" I thought to myself walking around the cottage.

"Is something wrong?" Fluttershy finally asked with concern of me looking around the cottage.

"I was suppose to some new clothes from Twilight. She was suppose to use her magic and teleport it here... But I don't se-..."

Almost at a instant as I finished my sentence. A bright flash appears in the middle of the living room. Harsh winds also occurred in the room as the magical glow brightened. It all soon can to an abrupt stop as the brightness faded away. It was my clothes..

"Wow, Spoke too soon I guess." I said as I walked up to the convenience.

"Is that it?" Fluttershy spoke hiding behind some furniture, unaware of what happened.

"Yea, it's safe." I replied picking up the clothes. Rarity did an awesome job making this for me. The cotton was so smooth, and she even through some socks in there too. There was also a note on top of the pile of clothes stating...

Dear Stan,

I hope these fit you, because they were much of a struggle wiping up. I also added socks, so your species "hooves" don't get cold. Enjoy!

,Rarity.

It was awfully nice of her to go through the struggle making my clothing, I didn't even have to pay.. I guess friendship is really taken to a whole other level in this world.

Still holding the note, I turned it to the back to see if there was anything there. And as I expect.. There was.

Dear Stan,

I hope you got the clothes you wanted, because doing this spell was "no" joke. I half way passed out attempting it. So keep in mind it wasn't an easy procedure. See you around.

,Twilight Sparkle.

"Hmph, I guess she thinks I owe her, or something." I thought to myself as I read the back.

I then turned my head towards Fluttershy, who seemed to be getting calm after the commotion.

"Hey Fluttershy, I'm going to take a quick shower."

"Okay, Don't you want anything to eat? the mare asked.

"No i'm fine, I ate some cupcakes before I got here."

"Alright then, I guess i'll make me a little something then."

"Okay." I replied as I made my way up the stairs. I was little more cautious walking up them this time. I didn't want to trip and fall again, I've been knocked out enough here already. As I made my way towards the bathroom. I see that snow white bunny again as it hoped away somewhere. "Still a peaceful place to leave." I thought as I opened the bathroom door.

I would explain what happened when I got in the shower but... that really isn't necessary or important...

OH! Now explaining "certain" themes is unnecessary now, is it?

After I got through getting rid of that hellacious smell, I picked up my clothing I was going to wear, and darted into the hallway, looking for any nearby empty room......I know what your thinking. "Why did you leave the bathroom without changing your clothes you dumb fuck?" and well... To answer that question, I never felt comfortable changing in the bathroom on my world. What if I slip and fall landing inside of a toilet bowl. Plus during college, alot people want to use the bathroom while i'm still in there, so I just do it so stuff can seem less awkward to me... especially in another universe.

I stepped foot inside a dark room. I search up and down to see where the light switch was. It took a while but I finally found it, and at a flick of the switch, the room was lit. As I started to observe the room, I knew immediately that it was Fluttershy's. Bird feeders hanging, butterfly bed spread, plants growing everywhere. It was pretty obvious.

"Woah, This room is pretty...Swag." I said to myself as I observed the room.

SEE, there you go again.

"I'll just be quick" I said while beginning to change into my apparel. As I searched for the underwear, I hear someone climbing upstairs.

"shit...Shit...SHIT!" was all I thought as I was rushing the underwear on my body. "I can't let her see me like this, and in her room also!" I said finally getting my underwear on and started to search for my pants as fast as I could...BUT!...it was too late.

Why are all these horses trying to look at your manhood?

All? Only Rarity and her sister saw it.

Sure, They're the "only" ones.

What? What do you....Aww, just forget it.

Getting back to the situation at hand, I stood there with my body and my underwear exposed to the yellow shy mare. That bunny was there too, both speechless. It also came to my attention that she made a sandwich for herself before coming, because it was now on the ground from shock.

"Um, Oh, Sorry...I didn't mean to." Fluttershy uttered trying to explain.

"No it's okay, its your room anyway." I assured her, slowly putting on my pants in awkwardness. After I said that..she SNAPPED.

"your right, THIS IS MY ROOM! Why in the hay are you changing in MY ROOM anyway? Maybe if you had your own house, I wouldn't have to worry about a naked species changing clothes in MY ROOM!" She screamed with frustration. To me, this is an immediate change in character for her, I expected this kind of talk from...Rainbow Dash...And I barely even knew her.

"Um you okay...Fluttershy." I asked concerned about the sudden change of tone.

"I'll be just fine, if you weren't here." she snapped back

OUCH.

"Um, well...... I could leave." I said in a confused tone.

"Great, while your out you could look for a new place to stay while your at it....If you don't mind." She replied back in her normal voice. In my mind i'm thinking "What. The. Fuck". But in reality, I was pretty casual about the situation. I just found it unusual for her to act this way. But she was right, this is her home, And I was going to have to go eventually if I couldn't find a way back to my world.

"Alright, I guess i'll see you....later?" In asked her while I was putting my shirt on.

"Alright Stan. See you around." she replied in a happy tone a voice. I then left room as she began to clean up the sandwich mess.

I began climbing down the stairs and leaving out the front door in a normal manner. It then came to my attention that is was night. One part of me wanted to knock back on the door and apologize for whatever I did, so she'll let me in. But the part of me wanted to say "Fuck It." and continue on walking in the night sky....I chose that one.

Walking in the night didn't really scare me like it usually did on my world. I mean, what could some talking horses do, that would be terrifying? Expect injure me in one tackle...

And to be honest I wasn't even sure where I was going, what I was going to do, where I was going to sleep.... Where my chips was... I wasn't really hungry, but a snack couldn't hurt, right?

Why....Why are you not fat?

High metabolism

Oh. I'm your brain, and I didn't even know that.

I started to make way north of Fluttershy's house where a forest was. I believe that Princess Celestia pony could probably have a solution to all of this, since basically she the president here. Going through the woods was easier than I thought also, just a couple of hazards like branches with claws, trees with scary faces, hungry wood shaped wolves looking towards my direction...you know the usual.......Wait A Minute.....

fucking. RUN!

I refused to disagree with my mind this time. I ran as fast as I could , as they bolted towards me. I knew I wasn't going to make out of this alive, because if I didn't have a chance running away from the burger, What makes me think I'll be any faster then these things. Running out breath, I quickly turn around to see the hounds closer then I expected. Then A thought came into my head.

"HUGS!, Hugs solve everything here." I said stopping in my tracks.. I turned around quickly to see the beasts, and stretched my arms out for embrace.

"Here goes nothing." I said clinching my eyes shut as the creatures got closer.

But suddenly....I hear a flash of mystical power in front of me. I refused to open my eyes at the mayhem that was going about. Huge winds started to occur in front of me, the magical glow became brighter. After what seemed like a couple of seconds, everything went quiet. I finally got the will to open my eyes to see the actions that just took place. That was when I saw it....

Another horse....But this one was kinda different. It was much taller then the one's I was use to seeing. Her mane and tail colors was glowing with a mixture of blues. She also had a moon tattooed on her left thigh. This must be one of those "one of a kind" horses.

"Are you okay, my loyal creature?" the mare asked, slowly turning towards my direction.

"Um yea, What just happened exactly?" I responded, being unaware of what just happened.

"A pack of hungry timberwolves were chasing you. It then came to my intention that you were defenseless, so I whisked the creatures off to somewhere yonder."

"So...You saved me?" I questioned the mare.

"Of course. No creature shall be harmed under my vision of the night."

"Riiiight. And What was your name again?"

"Thou shall call me Princess Luna" she replied, revealing her royalty. She must be one of those royal fucks Applejack has been telling me about. Maybe she knew a faster way of getting to Princess Celestia.

"Well thank you Princess Luna, I gladly appreciate you saving me. Do you mind if I asked you for a favor though?"

"What is thou request?" She replied with curiosity.

"Well... Aren't you the sister of Princess Celestia?"

"MmmmHmmm..." Luna replied while staring at the moon.

"And you do know all the fastest ways to get to Canterlot, right?" I continued beginning to scratch my neck for the next question. But this time she didn't replay. She just stood there gazing up at the moon.

"Are you even listening?" I asked, frustrated at her concentration skills.

"I like to come out here every night, Just to look at the beauty of the moon I have risen." She finally responded... In the most bizarre of ways.

Dude, Obviously this horse is emo. You should probably bail before things get more.... awkward.

Well, my brain was right again. I wasn't going to get much help from her. But at least she saved me massacred by wood...I believe that didn't come out

As the mare gazed on about the moon, I tip toed out of the scene to make sure she didn't notice if I was gone. I then continued my way onward to the direction I was originally going upon the forest.

Still walking for what seemed like forever, I began to get tired. But luckily I spotted a conveniently placed park bench at the end of the forest.

"Oh finally! Somewhere to rest." I thought to myself, as I headed towards destination. I calmly sat down and relaxed for a while, thinking about how things will go tomorrow, making my way to the princess. I soon dozed off into a quick nap, recalling all the madness that took place this day...

Author's Note

Sorry this chapter took awhile. I was caught with the flu for a couple of days.

Chapter 9: Royal F*ckers

Chapter 9: Royal F*ckers

Upon turning around to see the royal castle, it's beauty, it's grace, it's......amount of guards patrolling this shit. I'm not kidding, there were horses in armor everywhere I turned. I'm quite surprised me and Rainbow Dash wasn't questioned or something for being intruders. I started to make my way to what seemed like the entrance door. It was smooth sailing for a couple of seconds until I reached the front of the door.

"Halt! No one's allowed to see the princesses without a reservation." two stallions in gold armor said to me as I made my way. They held their staff's out to block the entrance as they said so.

Oh Great! Royal fuckers won't let us in. We came all the way out here just to be stop by MORE fucking horses. Just Great!

Don't you think your over-reacting a bit?

Hell no.

Needless to say, I still needed to get in there somehow. I had to think of something clever, quick, and believable.

"Um.... I'm the official royal....uh....'Masseuse', yeah!" I said nervously hoping they'll buy it.

"You don't look like much of a woman to me." one guard said cocking an eyebrow in confusion.

Oh, nice going Mrs. Madison.

SHUT UP! Could you think something better?

Well I don't know....Wait! I do 'know' because i'm your BRAIN.

"Well that's because um....I...uh..." I slowly replied sweating like crazy. I was doomed from entering the palace anytime soon. The guards just stood there with concerned faces, waiting for my next attempt to try and get in. Before something unexpected happened.

"What goes on here?" I heard a familiar feminine voice say with a monarchy tone, as the front doors burst open.

"Oh, Princess Luna!" both guards said as they bowed to the honorable princess. "We were just getting rid of this intruder of the castle." one guard continued.

"I see, and where is thou intruder." the princess questioned the guards. It was then they both pointed their hooves towards me. I stood their stunned for a second, until I realized who the horse was.

Isn't that.... that one emo horse we saw last night, I can't remember, it was kind of dark.

Before I could speculate any further though, she soon realized who I was instead.

"Haha, Thy is not an intruder." she assured the guards who was exchanging confused looks, and so was I."This specimen is thou visitor of the castle this evening." she continued. It took me by shock that she was allowing me inside, one step further I suppose.

"But sire, This creature tried to make off as a masseuse to try and get in at first." One guard quoted, talking about my attempt at getting in. I started to scratch the back of my neck, and grinned as I said..

"Oh, Um....Yea My brain goes on and off sometimes. I'm really here for the tour, sirs." I assured guards of the inconvenience.

WHAT! Don't drag me in your stupid ass mistake.

"Oh, Sorry for the overhaul, mister." One of the guards said in a apologetic tone. The other one was just looking at me with stern eyes, like he didn't trust one ounce of me.

"Right this way, 'guest'." Princess Luna continued guiding me to come inside the castle with her. Passing by the royal guards. I finally made it inside the castle!

The inside of the fucking castle was FUCKING amazing. I'm serious. It was almost similar to a big ass church inside. I saw sun and moon shrines on the windows, red velvet carpet everywhere, and hallways all over the place.

"So, Why thou have cometh to Canterlot?" Princess Luna said, breaking my view away from all the royalty.

"Well i'm trying to......Wait a minute. Didn't I tell you all this last night?"

"I don't recall."

"I asked you to try and take me here and everything."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm goddamn positive. You even started to mumble about the moon and shit."

"Oh. Well i'm graciously sorry. If you needed a quick way to get to Canterlot, I could've just teleported you with me that night."

.....I'm not sure if she's trolling....

"Oh, So now you tell me." I said in a sarcastic tone.

"Yes, for I am an Alicorn. So we basically can do whatever we please."

"....Even so, I'm trying to get to my world, and i'm wondering if Princess Celestia could help me with that."

"Well i'm certainly not sure where thou lives, but my sister is sure not to disappoint." Princess Luna finished. I really did hope this princess could help anyway possible. I wasn't much in a hurry to leave. But everyone could be worried sick about me going missing on earth.

Oh right, I can see now. "Local dumbass college student sucked into a different universe, call the fucking logic police!

"So where is she exactly." I asked ready to get this over with.

"She'll be just through those doors there." Luna guided, pointing towards a couple of double doors.

"That's all I needed to know." I quickly said marching toward the doors. But was soon stopped by Luna as she said...

"Halt. Wouldn't you care for a tour before you continue." She insisted.

"I'm good, I really can't waste more time." I declared, still walking toward the doors. She then nodded her head at what was said, and proceeded off in a different direction.

At a huff of my breath, holding the door tight ready to confront the princess. I soon began to open the double doors........

"DAMN IT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs at what I saw.....More fucking doors....

You probably should've took that tour first, huh?

FUCK YOU

I soon turned around to see if Luna was still there, and she was not. I facepalmed so hard at the site, you could see the handprint on my forehead.

"Looks like I have to go through all of these rooms..." I finally sighed, knowing that there was no other way.

I started off with the door just to the left of where I was standing. It was just a basic wooden door, but it had to lead to something. "Well, here goes nothing." I said as I stepped into the room.

"Hey, Are you Princess Celestia?" I causally ask the resident as I walked in. It was then I seen a white stallion with a blonde mane. And fucking glitter and shit was sparkling around him for some apparent reason.

"Um, No. Princess Celestia is my aunt. I am Prince Blueblood." The stallion announced in a fancy sophisticated tone.

"Oops, My Bad." I simply said as I headed for another door inside the room. The Stallion stood there in confusion as I roamed, but sure enough he didn't question anything else. I soon found another door and proceed to the next room, that lead to a hallway filled with more optional doors.

"FUCK, HOW MANY DOORS IS IN THIS PLACE?" I shouted in my head, frustrated at the site. But I knew I had to choose one if i'll ever make it to her. I've chosen the door on the further end of the hallway this time, hoping for better chances. With my fingers crossed I barged into the room with my eyes closed waiting for the best of luck. But it simply wasn't my day....

"Is Princess Celestia in here" I calmly asked as I entered, eyes still closed.

"Why would she be in here?" I heard a mare question as I stepped inside. I soon opened my eyes when I received the scent of......food. I didn't even have to take a quick guess to say that I was in the royal kitchen. My gaze was starstrucked across the scene of the kitchen, I could probably get a quick snack while i'm at it.

Hey, Fatass! We have a mission here remember?

"Umm, Can I help you" The mare finally asked, breaking my focus of the kitchen. Her coat was kinda white also. with a pink mane, and light blue eyes.

"Could you, like.... Locate me to Princess Celestia?" I asked in a nervous tone. The mare then cocked her in confusion, I guess she was wondering why a unknown species would want to see their beloved guardian. But simply enough she pointed to another door, as she said...

"Well, If you go down through that door right there. It should lead you towards her. But may I asked why?"

"Nope. No time. Gotta run!" I quickly replied as I bolted towards the door she appointed. I heard the mare scream 'No' 'Stop' 'Come back', but nothing was gonna stop me and my mission.

I would make an 'Sorry, But your Princess is in another castle' reference, but THIS is FUCKING ridiculous. Everywhere I turned, there was another fucking door! Each pony in this castle told me the same thing "Well, If you go through this door here, it should lead you to her.", And i'm getting fucking tired of it! I'm fairly surprised I didn't get kicked out of here sooner for roaming.

I was currently standing in front of 2 great tall double doors. My fingers crossed, A starving stomach, And frustration on mind membrane.

"This better be the fucking door." I thought as I carefully reached for the handles.

As the door opened, My sight set asset upon a freakishly large mare. She has a white coat like that Prince Blueblood guy, and had a variety of color in her.....mane? I guess. She was turned around at the time, but i'm sure i'll get her attention as soon as I ask...

"Hey, Um. Are you Princess Celestia?" I asked with crossed fingers. And the answer she gave me, made my tolerance explode.

"What? No. I'm Princess Luna." She announced in an unrecognizable sarcastic tone. At that moment I was completely filled with anger. I knew for a FACT that wasn't Princess Luna, but I couldn't call her on it. She was most likely trolling, so whats the best thing to do, then to just go along with it, right?

"Oh, Sorry." I said sadly as I walked toward the double doors I came from.

What the hell are you doing. Its blindly obvious that she's Princess Celestia.

Shh, Be quiet. I have a plan.

Now receiving her attention. I hurried and turned my head, as if I recalled something.

"Wait A minute, I recall seeing Princess Luna before. And i'm quite sure she '10 times' more hotter than you." I said with a wide grin painted across my face, knowing she'll buy it.

"What? Hotter than me? I control the whole sun for Equestria sake!" She roared at the statement.

"Haha, Got ya!" I trickfully said as I caught her in the act. She then stood there for a while with a slight blushing expression on her face, Before saying with pride...

"Well Played."

Oh, Well nice going. We can finally get this over with.

"I have been expecting you, Stanley." She continued, while walking along the lines of the royal carpet.

Expecting us?

"Expecting me?" I questioned her also.

"Why yes, Ever since you arrived in Equestria I have been keeping a close eye on you till this very moment. And after that owl stunt you pulled towards me a couple of days ago, I knew i'd meet you sooner or later." She continued.

"Wait a minute... You knew about the owl?.....But nevermind that. You mean to tell me, that you could've brought me here from the get-go? Making me go through all that shit, just to tell me 'I was suppose to be here'." I snapped at the mare with an uneasy tone.

" Why, yes!" was the expression I imagined as she replied." But it's for a very special reason that I will announce to you further on." she continued. I then raised a eyebrow at the specific reason, but didn't question any further from what I came here for.

"So you can send me home, right?" I said cheerfully. But the reaction I receive made my cheerfulness go to straight despair. The Princesses smile soon turned into a frown upon the question.

"Sadly I can not. I'm not even quite certain where your 'home' is." she announced with a simple tone.

No.......Noo.......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

"But I can offer you something better!" She quickly said before I could respond.

Huh?

"Like what?" I said curiously.

"Well, I may not be able to send you back to your world, but I could turn you into one of our kind and make you an official resident here in Equestria until further notice." She offered. I was kinda skeptical on the offer, but then again she did say 'until further notice'. So she probably has a back up plan or something. I wouldn't mind staying here for a while I suppose. But that other offer though....

Fine with me, As long as we get home.

"Yeah, Sure. I could stay here a little while longer, but that 'turning me into a horse' offer, i'm gonna have to decline. You see, i'm gonna need these opposable thumbs for various reasons....so yeah." I explained to her, moving my thumbs up and down.

"As you wish, and I can assure that i'll find you a way home as soon as I can." The princess assured me walking closer.

"Woah, What are you doing?" I said in confusion as she continued towards me.

Before she could even answer, A flash of light came into vision. A winding bright vortex circulated me and the princess in a quick haste. The noise of rushing winds entered my eardrums as this occurred. And what felt like brief seconds, the noise drops, the visuals fade, and what was in front of me was a house door.

"Wha- Where are we?" I said hesitantly in confusion. I started to look around for a second before the princess spoke, and it seemed to me that we were back in Ponyville, or somewhere close.

"We're at your new home." she announced with grace, welcoming me to where i'll be staying for the time being. "Nothing special really, it's just a 2 story apartment, but it'll get you by." she continued.

"2 stories?" I questioned. I knew I was another species and all, be 2 stories seems a little too much for one person. But before I could speculate any further...

"Yes, For you, and you roommate." Princess Celestia said as she uttered the news.

"Roommate?!?!" I squeaked, unaware of the unexpected house guest. Don't get me wrong, I've had roommates before. I'm in college for christ sake! But a 'horse' as a roommate is a WHOLE other story.

"Yes, your roommate. He was expected to be here by now, but I don't see-...."

"Hey." Me and Celestia then hear an anonymous deep voice say behind us. We were quick to turn around and see the culprit. It was then I saw a light brown stallion, with a dark brown mane, and light blue eyes. His demeanor was a bit bland, but needless to say, this might be my roommate.

As I further examined the horse, I've come to see that he has probably come back from work. He was sporting a apron covered in ice cream. Probably working as a ice cream man or something. He also had an ice cream covered in nuts tattoo on his ass.

"Hehe, So what's your name, huh? 'Nuts'?" I said jokingly, not understanding the meaning of the tattoo. But sure enough....

"HEY!" the stallion shouted with anger toward the joke.

"Actually, his name really is 'Nuts', Stan." Celestia butted in, pointing towards the nametag on his apron, assuring me of his name.

"Oh, Opps. Sorry man." I said nervously, leaning my hand forward for a handshake....hooveshake. But he just brushed passed me with his attitude towards the door, and forcefully slams it open. I jumped a little at the sudden actions.

"Nuts may look like a mean stallion, but I can assure you he wouldn't harm a parasprite." Princess Celestia explained. "He doesn't talk much either, he usually greets everything with the phrase 'Hey', so try and go along with it.

"I-I guess." I simply said, thinking twice about this decision in general.

"Alright then Stan. We'll meet again soon... Good Luck!" The Princess finally bowed as she shined off somewhere in the blink of an eye.

"Wait hold up. What did you mean 'Good Luck'?" I screamed towards the sky, unaware if she could hear me or not.

It was then I turned back towards the apartment i'll be staying in for awhile. Thinking about all that could transpire before I get home.

"Well then." I huffed as I made my way towards the opened door.

Oh Great! Now your forced to live with one.

Author's Note

OC Alert.

Chapter 10: With or Without Nuts

"So....Where am I crashing tonight?" I asked the stallion as I walked into my new home in Equestria. It looked nice too. A Nice Kitchen, TV, Sofa, Decorations you know the usual household items and stuff like that. It was just a major disappointment when Nuts replied to my question...

Without hesitation Nuts quickly pointed towards the couch, Signaling me that I was going to sleep there for now on.

"Ya serious?" I asked, wondering if he was kidding or not. But he just stood there, and chuckled as he made his way towards the kitchen. I can immediately sense that this guy is a 'Douchebag', and his face clearly stats that fact. I wish you guys could see it.....Wait a minute I know he has some pictures around here somewhere.......

Wait......I'm still looking.....

HERE!

This is the guy i'm dealing with right now.

He just looks like he's ready to fuck shit up with the attitude on his face. I don't know what Princess Celestia was talking about when she mentioned the he wouldn't 'harm a parasprite', whatever that means. But whatever, as long as I have a place to live for the time being. Now all I need is something to eat.

...........You know what.........I'm not going to even say anything.

"Hey, Yo Nuts!" I shouted amongst the room to the ill mannered stallion. "You have anything to eat around here?" I continued as I sat on the couch. I didn't get a response to my question, so I guessed he was still hardass about whatever. I then turned around on the couch to see why silence was illuminating from his side of the room.....And what I saw......Made my jaw drop on impact.

ICE CREAM, AND LOTS OF IT!

"Is that....I-Ice cream?" I muttered, still starry eyed by the sight. Nuts started to turn around slowly towards my question, and slightly nodded in acceptance.

"OH GAWD, I LOVE ICE CREAM.....C-can I have some?" I asked with glee hoping for a positive response. And the reaction I got towards the questions, blew me away...

Nuts eyes started to lit up, and a wide smile painted across his face. Apparently something I said got his attention. He then quickly brushes off the smile (like it never happened) and shrug his shoulders with ease, granting my access to the frozen delights.

I quickly burst towards the refrigeration to devour the dairy. (see what I did there).

OH FANTASTIC, I just can't wait until the brain freeze..

He had all sorts of flavors; Vanilla, Chocolate, Pistachio, Milky Way (What ever that was.), and last but not least my favorite flavor, Cookies N' Cream! I thought I was in heaven!

I quickly selected the Cookies N' Cream flavor and started to rummage through the drawers in search of a spoon. And let me tell you now, my determination for looking for this spoon is 10 out of 10. Nuts started to stare blankly at me for awhile but I completely ignored him to search for this frickin' spoon!

But then my quest was finally complete, I finally found a spoon and soon proceeded to chow down on the icy supplements. I shoved a spoonful of the desert down my throat like it was my last supper. Nuts was just sitting there starry eyed with a crooked smile at how I able to consume the amount of ice cream I did......but the fun was soon over.....

A massive brain freeze headed my way on probably the 37th spoonful of ice cream I had. I started panicking immediately..

HOLY SHIT, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME! FIX THIS. FIX THIS. FIX THIS. FIX THIS!

The pain was massive, and I mean MASSIVE! I quickly rushed towards the sink, turned the hot water valve, and attack the faucet with my mouth as a stream of piping hot water made down my throat.

OW! OW! OW! THAT'S TOO DAMN HOT DUMBASS!

Indeed my brain was right. The scorching burns overwhelming my tongue was outrageous.

"Owowowow!" I hissed upon myself after the encounter. Waving fans onto my tongue. Nuts then started to laugh hysterically probably being the only hint of verbal response I've heard from him tonight.

He patted my shoulder to get my attention while I was tending to my tongue. He raised a concerned eyebrow at me wondering if I was alright, and sure enough I was.

"Yeah, Everything's cool." I assured him, still easing off the pain of the burn upon my tongue, but nothing permanent. Nuts then shifts his look to some of the empty ice cream containers I ate, quoting that he has never seen anyone eat ice cream like that.

"Oh, That? Well, I'm a big fan of ice cream, and your fridge was full of it, so I couldn't help myself." I said in a nervous tone as I scratched my neck. Nuts then shook his head in agreement of understanding my dilemma and started his way up the stairs.

"Hey, What about a blanket and pillow!?" I shouted at him as he pranced upstairs. But before I could utter another rant downfalls a bedsheet and a pillow casing from the upstairs, hitting the ground.

"Uh, Thanks. I guess...." I sarcastically said as I went to go pick up the materials. "This is gonna be a long week or so."

Alright, So the first couple of days in this apartment weren't 'that' bad......Actually it was more awesome than expected!

Each and every day was more awesome than the last....well kinda. Let me break it down for ya.

Day 1:

"Hey, Nuts. How about we have ice cream for dinner tonight?"

"Hey." He simply said while shrugging his shoulders with a smirk on his face.

"Welp, That's enough approval for me!" I eagerly said myself, as I dove in for a face full of Ice cream heaven. Nuts just sat there laughing, and was soon joining in for the feast too.

Day 2:

"So Nuts, What's on the menu for today's Dinner?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen where he also was.

He soon turns around with 2 buckets of Ice cream and a happy smile on his face.

"No way, Ice cream? AWESOOOME!" I squealed with glee over the site.

"Hey." Nuts says shrugging with confidence. I quickly took my bucket and begun to devour.

"Thanks Nuts! You're the BOMB!" I said with a mouthful of supplements. He does nothing but raised a confused eyebrow, and brings in a welcoming smile.

The bond is stronger between you two, huh?

Day 3:

"Oh, more ice cream for supper? Awesome.... "

Day 4:

"Yay. More ice cream.....Cool. "

I'm getting real tired of this shit.

Yeah. Me too, And i'm also getting awful stomach aches.

I should say something to him tomorrow, I can't take it anymore.

ANYTHING to stop this madness.

Current Date:

After a couple of hours of being a lazy couch potato watching pony superheroes stop the world from pollution, Nuts emerges through the front door.

"Heeeeeey!" Nuts elates in a voice like he was in a 80's sitcom. He came in carrying 2 tubs of Vanilla ice cream and immediately throws them on the table.

"Hey?" Nuts said, questionably asking if I was ready to eat. But I couldn't stand the look of that shit anymore, it makes me sick now.

So i'm just gonna have to come clean on this one........

Come on man, let him have it!

"I'm getting real tired of your shit, Nuts." I said with the most serious of tone. "We eat ice cream every fucking night, and I'm really getting fed up with this crap dude." I continued.

"You don't even have the tendency to add fucking toppings to your ice cream you just eat it plain BLANK!

The scene then becomes quiet for a few seconds. My sight slowly zooming in on Nuts' disgruntled face. But soon it all became clear..

"hey. Hey! HEY!!!!!!" Nuts suddenly outbursts, knocking down furniture and dishes.

"Don't you 'hey' me dude, at least have the nerve to put some sprinkles or something on your ice cream GOSH!" I replied towards his outburst. But at a quick reaction, his face became quickly agitated.

"I Warn You, This Scene May Not Be Suitable For Minors."

Nuts quickly moved from his current spot and started to march towards my direction in anger.

*Push*

Nuts then abruptly shoved me back with great force.

Oh, This guy is totally asking for it. Show him WHAT FOR!

I soon reacted to the act of violence, and shoved him back with all the unknown strength I could. Surprisingly enough, he actually went back a bit, but not enough. Without any vital threat , Nuts charged me with an uppercut to the jaw. And thus The Fight Was On.

Getting up as quickly as I could, I charged into Nuts myself with a tackle to the ground filled with shattered dishes.
Nuts (quickly recovering from the blow) bucked me off of him with great resiliency, sending me flying into the coffee table breaking it in two.
Trying to get up from the broken fragments of the table, Nuts quickly hops on my abdomen and starts beating my face in from left to right.
After a few seconds of the stallion whaling on my face, I happened to grab a piece of one of the broken table legs. And without hesitation I smacked it across his muzzle, sending him flying to the left. Just enough time for me to recover.
I soon got up from the pieces of table and inspected my face for any serious damage, while Nuts was checking out his muzzle with his backside turned towards me. (probably was a bad idea to look there at the time).
Out of nowhere, Nuts Super-Bucked me towards a wall hung with pictures and decorations, and they all soon came collapsing down.
One last photo fell from the wall, landing straight on my skull. Knocking me out cold...

The scene was then quiet for awhile, Both me and Nuts was in serious pain (Mainly me). I finally got enough conscious to see where I was, there was blood dripping from my hair, the apartment was wrecked, and Nuts' muzzle looked crooked sideways.

Woah. You sure did a number on him.

But he did an even bigger number on me. My ribs are killing me right now, and my head is throbbing sore.

Yeah, Well look on the bright side, at least you could consider this your first official fight. huh?

I slowly looked for the thing that caused the damage to my cranium, and soon enough I found the broken picture frame that done the job. I picked it up with struggle of my damages, and came soon to find out something odd.

The mare in the photo looked pretty cute, clearly not Nuts' type.

"Hey, who is this? Your sister?" I questioned the mildly injured horse, breaking the silence in room after the awkward fiasco.

Nuts stood there blinking repeatedly at me, wondering if I just completely forget about the whole ordeal. But sure enough he still answered.

"Hey." Nuts said smirkingly shrugging his shoulders.

"Hmph, I had a feeling that she was. She's looks to good to be your wife or something" I joked with a witty grin on my face.

"Heeeeey...!" He debated towards me, and a few seconds pass before we both started laughing. Signaling that we got all the heated tension between us out of our systems.....Yeah. Guy's Rule.

Nuts then started to get up (despite of his injuries), and looked about the room. We sure did trash the place, but it's nothing that Mother's spring cleaning training won't fix.

Hehe. Momma's Boy.

Something soon caught Nuts' eye, and you wouldn't be surprised of what it was.

That's Right...

The leftover Ice cream tubs He planned to eat with me tonight were still there, slowly melting onto the kitchen table. He soon turn towards me with a curious raised eyebrow upon his face.
I know exactly what he's trying to ask..

"Sure, why not." I simply said, struggling to get up from the ground.

We both had Ice cream that night, disregarding me throwing up all over the place soon after from a serious stomach ache. But it was all worth it afterall though. At least now he understands we shouldn't have it all the time.....well I shouldn't anyway. And the best part is...

None of us said sorry to each other that day.

Author's Note

As you guys can notice, The OC character Nuts doesn't have much dialog........Yea.......That's the point :/

Also, Stan's Brain dialogs will now be portrayed in Blue text, so you guys won't get mixed up while reading.

Sorry it's been awhile.

Chapter 11: Fillysitting

Okay. So over the course of weeks, Me & Nuts hit it off just fine. We even threw a housewarming party a couple of days ago so people could know where I stay now. Everyone was there too, Twilight, Rainbow Guy, Applejack, Rarity, Spike, Pinkie Cake and surprisingly enough Fluttershy.

I Think you got a couple of those names wrong, dude.

Whatever.. But, Everything's been going quite well lately. Which makes a perfect excuse to get my lazy ass up, and go outside finally.

I woke up this morning to see that Nuts wasn't home, so there was no need to say goodbye to anyone while I was there. So I just left wearing casual jeans shorts and a blue shirt.. But I really hope I didn't forget to lock the door, haha.

Like you usually do?..

I decided to head to my good friend Applejack's house.

Oh Really? "Good Friend" you say?

Yeah, I mean she greeted me with smiles the first time I saw her.

Don't play dumb with me Stanley. I'm your brain, and I've seen the way you hopelessly flirted with her at that party.

Um, Uh. I don't know what you're talking about...

Sure, Just watch it bud. We're trying to go home, not commit beastilty here.

Whatever, I'll be fine.

I've soon arrived to Sweet Ole Apple Acres, where I assumed Applejack still stayed. The trip here was less bizarre than I expected. Just a few ponies staring at me. Some haven't seen me before, and others are surprised I left the house, haha.
I didn't see any usual faces I'd normally say hi too, except Pinkie Pie working in the window of her bakery waving at me. But nothing ordinary than just a normal stroll, I guess.

Walking towards the doorstep of the home, I knocked..........but there was no answer. I knocked a few more times..............Still no answer.

"Hm, I'd thought she'd be here." I thought as I began to walk away from the door. "Maybe I can go grab a cupcake at Pinkie Pie's instead."

Walking back to the town, I hear a familiar voice calling my name from afar.

"Stan, Hey Stan!" The southern voice yelped my way. I soon turn around to see none-other than Applejack in the apple fields with her big brother The Big Mac.

"Oh Hey, Applejack! I thought you wasn't home for a sec there." I joyfully greeted the mare.

Why don't you just call her 'AJ' since you love her so much?

'Cause I don't want to rude. I haven't known her for that long to be giving her nicknames. AND I DON'T LIKE HER LIKE THAT!

I walked up to the two ponies to see what's going on at hand. "So, What'cha guys doin?" I asked curiously walking towards the field.

"Aw nothin, We're just gettin' a few apples for t'nights supper." Applejack answered while getting in a crouched position.

"Sounds neat!" I easily said meeting the horses at the field. Applejack soon kicks a tree with little might, and a couple of apples came falling down into a bucket. One even happened to hit my shoulder and fall to the ground, I picked it up from the grass to take a look to see if it was as fresh as the dickens.

"You can keep one that if ya want." Applejack offered, seeing the apple in my hands. "Thanks, I'll save it as a snack." I replied, tucking the apple in my pocket.

"So what'cha here for Stan?" Big Mac questioned as he walked towards the apple bucket. "Just visiting, ya know. Finding a excuse to leave the house and all." I replied to Big Mac as he picked up the bucket with his muzzle.

"Well ya done picked a rather bad time to visit. 'Cause we're goin to be busy for awhile makin supper an' all." Big Mac chuckled as he carried off the bucket into the farm. "Oh, well I guess i'll see you guys another time then." I responded, understanding that they had their hands........oh wait 'hooves' full.

"Aw Stan, We sure wish you could stay but-" Applejack stopped, then suddenly facepalmed herself.....well 'hoofpalm' or whatever lingo. "Aw, consarnit!" Applejack shouted. "I forgot to pick up Applebloom and her friends from school and take them to that birthday party." she continued. I don't know who this 'Applebloom' person is, but she or he must be important....This may be my chance..

"Hey, How about I go pick them up?" I asked.

Oh NO! Please don't. Please please don't.

"Really Stan? You'd do that for me?" Applejack reacted surprisingly.

"Sure why not, I have nothing else to do today anyway."

Dude stop, don't do it.

"Well I don't know Stan, You'll have an awful lot on your shoulders. And she doesn't even know you that well." Applejack continued.

"I'm sure I can handle it, and I'm real good at making friends, me and you are friends afterall." I said with confidence.

Oh my goodness, you're actually going through with it.

With that conclusion, Applejack hopped up and hugged me, showing her appreciation. "Oh Stan, You're such a good friend."

"Anything for you Applejac-..." I stopped, "What?" Applejack responded looking up towards my blushed face.

"Um nothing.....I should um... Really get going, huh? Bye!" I quickly said breaking Applejacks embrace and running off into a different location.

"Um alright, Make sure she's here by supper!" Applejack shouted from a distance as I ran.

That went well...

You do know you're in the friendzone, right?

Friendzone? Dude I don't want to be in any zone. She's just a friend.

Well NOW you know that, considering the fact that she called you her "Friend", and don't think I haven't noticed your blushing.

Aw shut up.......Do you remember what Applejack said about where that school was?

Um, no. Maybe if you didn't run off so fast like a little girl, She probably would've told us.

So I guess we're going to be lost for awhile until we find directions, huh?

Walking for what seemed like hours down a dirt trial in a grassy plain, I stumbled upon a treehouse by a lake. "I sure hope i'm getting close" I thought. I soon turn around to see another house with a bell on top near. "I really hope that's the school, and not a library or something."

Walking towards the building, little ponies came into my vision holding and hugging other ponies bigger than them. "Oh awesome I found it!"

Yeah, and it only took you 45 minutes.

Hey! I got here didn't I? At least I didn't come late or some shit.

Getting closer to the destination, I began to realize that I have no idea how this "Applebloom" pony looks like. Does she look like Applejack in some way? I had no clue, but i'll find out eventually. Finally I arrived to the school.

I began looking around for a likeness of Applejack anywhere, but there was nothing particularly, 'close', but not exact

So how are you going to find her.

Like this..

With a big inhale, I shouted "Applebloom?!" around the distance of the school.

Everyone's conversations came to a sudden stop, and every horse glanced my way quickly.

Oh, Great idea genius.

I stood there still and nervous, waiting for a response from Applebloom...Until I got something else instead.

"Stanley?" A familiar voice called out from the crowd of ponies. And there's only 3 people who called me by that name. My Brain, Pinkie Pie, and..... Then came Sweetie Belle emerging from the crowd alongside 2 other small horses following behind her. They soon halt at my feet staring up at me. The crowd of other ponies began to murmur to themselves, still staring at me.

"Hey Stanley! Why you are at our school?" Sweetie Belle continued as the other 2 ponies stared upon my size.

"I'm actually looking for a pony named Applebloom, Applejack told me I was suppose to take her and her friends to a birthday party." I replied, looking around for the particular horse.

"Well look no further!" Sweetie Belle said grabbing hold of a yellow horse with a red bow on her head beside her. "Because this is Applebloom, and we're her friends that you'll be taking." Sweetie Belle finished with glee.

My eyes then became wide open, staring upon the three small ponies at my footstep. "Wait, So your Applebloom?" I pointed towards the yellow one.

"Um yessir.." She nervously said in the same southern accent as her sisters. "Oh ok, And who are you?" I continued towards my right directing to see an orangish pony, with a purple mane.

"I'm Scootaloo!" She said with more enthusiasm than Applebloom. And i'm not gonna lie, I did snicker at the name. "Well I'm Stan." I said introducing myself. "But you can call him Stanley for short!" Sweetie Belle added. Built with frustration I ignored the act that she said that. I mean... they're just kids after all.

"Well now that we have ourselves introduced, lets head to that party, shall we?" I concluded. "My sister warned me about talking to strangers." Applebloom said in an unsteady voice. "Aw Applebloom, Stanley is totally trustworthy. My sister, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and all your other friends hangout with him." Sweetie Belle explained. "Yeah Applebloom, This guy seems pretty cool." Scootaloo finished. "Oh, alright girls" Applebloom submitted "But I got my eye on you." she said in a serious tone.

"Works for me." I said with confidence. "So do any of you girls know where this birthday party is?"

"Yeah Stanley, Just follow me!" Scootaloo replied, and soon all the girls ran off to another direction.

"This is going to be a long day." I huffed as I followed behind the trio.

We ended up in a green trailed forest after all the running we have done. So we proceeded to walk the rest of the way to Ponyville. It's been quiet these few minutes between me and the girls. And if I want to get on their good sides, i'm gonna have to make small talk..

"So you are best friends, huh?" I asked, attempting to start a conversation.

"Oh, We aren't just best friends." Sweetie Belle answered with a smile.

"Oh?" I answered back, intrigued.

"Yeah!" Sweetie says with joy. "Just wait."

"Um Ok..."

"Just like we practiced girls!" Sweetie Belle shouts towards her friends. Suddenly they started to do a whole little routine with dancing, singing, and stunts that i'd usually see in a cartoon. Then they concluded all the madness by stacking themselves onto each other, and shouting in unison "WE'RE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!"......Here's what I looked like..

And here's my exact reaction..

"What's the heck is a 'cutie mark'?" I randomly asked breaking my confusion barrier.

"It's a mark for a ponies special talent." Scootaloo answered. "Yeah, and and its suppose to appear right here." Applebloom added as the others inverted to their backsides and lifted their asses in the air.

"Oh, oh god! Put your butts away please." I said as I was covering my eyes looking away.

"Haha, oh sorry. But ya did ask." Applebloom chuckled. Containing myself after that uncomfortable moment, it came to me.. "So thats that tattoo thing on everyone's backside?. Seems logical."

"Well, if you mean 'tattoo' by everyone's special talent, then yes." Sweetie Belle concluded.

"Come on guys, we're gonna miss the party!" Scootaloo shouted running towards Ponyville. I honestly didn't think we were that close yet, but whatever. So we all ended up following behind her into the town.

Remind me to ask myself when I get back home......on HOW THA FUCK DO HORSES PUT UP PARTY DECORATIONS! I mean seriously, this park looked fantastic with all the decor. It had streamers, balloons, confetti, bounce houses and all, you name it. Then again.....Magic 'does' exist in this world....

Anyway, the girls ran off to the birthday colt. I think his name was Pipsqueak or some ridiculous mess like that. So I proceeded to the older looking horses and tried to make small talk.

"Um, so great party. huh?" I nervously said said to a group of the older horses. They didn't answer right away......Matter of fact they didn't answer at all. Instead they asked "Um who are you suppose to be? One of the opening acts?", one female horse confusingly asked, while the other in the group begin to wonder the same.

"Opening acts!? I'm here to attend the party like everyone else." I assured them.

"Umm are you a filly? Do you have a filly?" One of the somewhat 'sophisticated' male horses of the group asked.

"Not exactly, I'm actually babysitting for someone." I answered. They all suddenly 'Ohhhhh' in union, finally getting a clue why I was there. After that we eventually made small talk. I even got to know a couple of their names. Like the one female pony I was talking to was named Lily Valley, and the other male I was talking to was named Filthy Rich..... I'm not kidding.

Anyway after having decent conversations with the parents of the party while the kids play along for a couple of minutes, It was time for the opening act. A magic act to be certain. Who knows with these ponies have in store for acts like these considering the fact that magic actually exists here.

"Ladies and Gentlecolts, Introducing 'The Great and Apologetic Trixie' !" An announcer shouts for presentations.

"That's a rather odd name for a magician" I thought to myself, as walk over to watch the show with the others.

Suddenly, a puff of magical dust appeared on stage which presented the pony in question. She was light blue mare unicorn, with a white mane, included with a purple magician hat.

Well...This should be interesting...

The crowd started to grunt and murmur towards themselves and others. Which seemed kinda odd, considering the act hasn't even started yet. So I had to ask.

"What's with all the hubbub?"

"Well, Trixie once tried to take over Ponyville with evil magic some time ago." Lily Valley replied

"Who, her? She doesn't look very evil.."

"That's because Twilight defeated her, making her kind spirited."

"Whoa. Twilight Sparkle? Defeating evil? Nice." I said in respect to the purple mare i've known.

I'm not usually a guy who's quick to judge. But if this horse used to be evil, then this has to be some show!

She started off her act by floating three bouncy balls towards her direction, and she begun juggling. She continued this for a good 5 minutes by finalizing with fireworks shooting in the air. It was obviously a distraction from the pure boredom of the act. The crowd began to look tiresome and uninterested after that fiasco, and she went with her second performance.
With her horn she made a entire purple aura around her giving her the ability to float. This trick was actually pretty entertaining though. She floated above all the ponies in the crowd receiving a 'Ohhh' & 'Ahhh' reaction. But the trick began to backfire as she tried to fly back to the stage, but instead came crashing down! Some curtains and wood began to trample her, making the crowd uneasy. But after a few seconds, she risen from the rubble and posed like nothing happened. "TaDa!...." She squeaked as she got out of the mess. The crowd started to talk amongst themselves again, and some started to leave show and continue with party. Mainly the fillies and colts. Only a few stayed now.
As worried as Trixie was, she just went ahead and skipped to her final act. "I'm gonna need 2 volunteers. Snips! Snails!" She shouted waiting for her 2 magical assistants to appear on stage. It was 2 colts, 1 scrawny one, and 1 plump one. "Now watch as 'The Great and Pow'-er...um I mean 'The Great and Apologetic Trixie' do the impossible!" She announced with grace and confidence. By this rate, i'm actually kind of enthused by how bad this trick could mess up. Trixie then told the 2 assistants to get into positions so she could perform her trick. After their positions were made Trixie let out a stressful grunt of magic out of her horn, aiming at the two colts. The powerful blast overtook the whole stage, and a blur of fog approached. The crowd wondering in amazement what could take place after the fog has cleared up. But as soon as it did..... Abomination met the stage..
"What the hay is that?" people in the crowd were yelling, rubbing their eyes from what can't be unseen......What was is it, you ask?.... The two assistants piled into one creature, completed with 2 heads, 3 eyes, and a very nasty combination of green body color.

"TaDa!, Now who's the greatest in the universe?" Trixie screams at the top of her lungs for applause.

"Flash Gordon!" I shouted in response, correcting her theory of who the actual Savior of the Universe was.

"What?" Trixie said in a state if confusion.

"Open ya eyes genius, and look at your 'Grand Finale'!"

Trixie, marked by my words proceeded to turn around to see the creation in question....And BOY was she surprised.

"Ugh!, what happened? I followed the spell perfectly!" Trixie huffed in confusion.

"Well apparently ya didn't!, It's kinda obvious that you suck after all!" I continued to boast about her performance. Most of the ponies began leaving, laughing at the failure of the magic show to resume with the rest of the party. While Trixie just stood there in defeat, beginning to get teary eyed.

Haha, but I wasn't making it any better though, I was laughing my ass off! I've never seen anything so bad. They actually HAVE magical powers but still suck anyway.

"Stop mocking The Great and Apologetic Trixie this instant!" Trixie demanded with stomping hooves.

"Or what? you're gonna use 'The Force' or some shit on me? HAHAHA!"

Don't joke with that mess dude. She might actually know how to do that shit.

Ya right, What's the worse that could happen?

Bottled up with rage and embarrassment. Trixie suddenly snaps, and her inner evil became present.

"You think i'm a joke, huh? Well why won't everypony watch as I 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' make an imbecile DISAPPEAR!"

"Wut?" I mutter in confusion.

And BOOM, with a sudden strike of magic I went flying across the field of the party. Huddling towards a tall tree in the distance, knocking me out senseless...

Awww, and just when we went a couple of days without getting knocked out too.

"Hey Stan, Have you ever thought of joining 'The Cutie Mark Crusaders' ?" I hear Sweetie Belle's blurry voice announce.

After that blow to the tree, it really knocked some confusion into me. I could barely make out what's going on at this moment.

"No... Why?" I asked out of curiosity. But before the question was even answered though, I gained enough preferable vision to realize I was standing in a 'face-down-ass-up' position with my butt revealing itself from my trousers.

"Hehe!" Sweetie Belle giggled as I scoured to get up. "Because you don't have one silly. Maybe if we work together, We'll find your special talent!"

Completely ignoring the awkward moment, I just responded with "I already have a special talent, and that's being a fag."

"A stick?" Applebloom quickly butted in, put in a now awkward position of these kids not knowing with that means in my world, I simply replied with a "Yeah."

"Hey, Where is that DEVIL by the way?" I said, now remembering how I got in this hurtful position in the first place.

"Who? Trixie?" Sweetie Belle replied.

"Yes, The 'Greaaaaaat And Powerfuuuuuuul' Trixie Tang."

"Tang?"

"You know what I meant.." I scoffed towards Sweetie Belle, filled with rage at the Unicorn known as Trixie.

"I-I think she's at her trailer..", Sweetie Belle continued, uneasy at my attitude at the moment.

"Great." I simply said as I started walking away from the filly. Now ....where is it?

I really can't see where...

WHERE THE HELL IS THAT TRAILER!

You are aware that the trailers here probably don't look the same as the trailers in our universe?

Oh Yeah!

Moron, do you even try using me sometimes?

Still scoping the arena for something that probably looks like a trailer, or close for a good couple of minutes. I happen to run into a wooden mobile home. It had windows, a door, even a stereotypical horse-drawn part.

Now, Stanley. What do you think that is?

A Trailer?

Bingo! Now, let's ransack her!

With Pleasure.
And without hesitation I barged through the door of the carriage to begin the rants about my random abuse during that show.

But instead....I ran into something...a little unexpected..

There laid a sad Trixie, settled up in the corner of her home. Slowly sobbing to herself, with her cape wrapped upon her body.

I began to slowly walk towards her..

What are you waiting for? The next chapter?
Let her have it!

I do but, I feel... concerned..

'Concerned'! She threw us into a tree. A TREE!

I know but, I-I don't know.. maybe-

Come on, Stan. Don't go soft on me, man.

"W-What's wrong with you?" I struggled to say towards the trouble mare. She suddenly jolts up startled upon my question and why I was even there. But then her furious eyes began to glare deep into my soul.

"Oh, It's just YOU! Get the buck out of here before I slam you into another tree again." She demanded.

"As much as I would love for that not to happen, I'm more concerned on why you are crying right now." I smirked back.

Your nice guy act bugs me sometimes.

"BECAUSE OF YOU AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU!" She shouted back in anger.

"I TRY AND I TRY, BUT I JUST CAN'T SATISFY YOU IMBECILES WITH THE MOST ADVANCED OF MAGIC! I thought this show would be my Big Break, I've practiced amongst time and time again, and all of you are still not entertained."

I'm quite surprised she's being this open with me, after what happened and all..

"Look most of the crap that I've seen out there, probably wasn't even worth the practice." I replied. She then glared at me with daggers. She obviously couldn't take a joke at the time, I mean she was pretty bad out there. I'm just being honest..

"Why are you here anyway? You came to make fun of me some more?" She then asked me, concerned about my arrival.

"Well no, I originally came here to yell at you about my NOW damaged back, but now I'm more concerned on you."

"Well don't be! Okay! I might as well just go back to my evil ways. The magical entertainment industry just isn't right for me." She said in defeat, with her head being hung in shame. I honestly felt bad that change wasn't getting the best of her. I have to try and help somehow before she takes over the world, or something like that.

"Hey.....um....is there a way I can like help somehow?"

Really? REALLY?!

"Help? you deliberately made fun of me onstage, insulted my magic which leads me to smashing you into a tree, and you want to 'HELP' me?" She says in utter confusion.

"Well, yeah. I've been through worst anyway. Consider this my apology for being a dick earlier."

"I'm sorry, but 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' will not be taking any help from a lifeform such as yourself. Now, get out of my house," She demanded without hesitation.

"Okay...I guess." I said, beginning to walk out of the trailer. The funny thing is, I actually did try to help her, but apparently she's too 'greaaat' for assistance. I should've just yelled at her like I planned.

See what happens when you don't listen to me?

"Wait!" the mare's voice suddenly calls out behind me.

"I may not need your help, but you could be my apprentice." she continues with sly enthusiasm.

"Apprentice? I'm sorry, but I don't know a lot about magic, and I don't plan on it either." I scoffed at the idea.

"But you said 'you wanted to make it up for me', right?" she inserted.

"Yeah, But-"

"Don't worry, you'll just be on stage while I do magic tricks on you. No one ever volunteers for it anyway, so this is where you'll be good at."

"I don't know.."

"I'll spilt a quarter of the profits I make from each show, if you agree."

"Profit?"

"Well of course, I can't just be using your body for entertainment for free now, can I?"

"Well, I guess..Wait using my body for entertainment? Does that mean I'm going to get hurt?"

"Great! Meet me at this exact spot tomorrow morning, and we'll get started on practicing."

"Practice?"

"Yep, Now begone 'The Great and Powerful' Trixie needs her beauty rest." she finalizes as she pushes me with a burst of magic out the front door.

Hardly trying to get up, Trixie appears from the doorway to continue.

"By the way, I never got that name of yours. What was it again?" she questioned.

"Uh, Stan." I simply replied.

"Oh, Well goodbye, Stan." Trixie says evilly before slamming the door.

Um... Did we just get a job?

I-I think so.

Dammit Stan, I wanted to focus eating junk food and watching TV while we here. Not focus on work.

Come on, you're overreacting. This will all be a thing of the past once we get home anyway. So a little working might be good for us, for all I know.

I should probably be huddling up the girls by now, it's a little late.

Holy crap, I completely forgot about them.

Well it's a good thing I didn't.

How does that work exactly, by the way? I am your brain after all..

I don't know, it's probably because the writer is labeling the main character and his brain as two separate beings. Making them think separately different thoughts sometimes also.

Oh, okay..... Are we breaking the fourth-wall right now?

Probably..

Oh hey,there they are!

And there they were running towards Stan with enthused faces.

"Stanley! You're back!" cheered Sweetie Belle with glee on her face.

"Why are you guys so happy to see me?" I questioned the fillies as they joyfully hopped around my legs.

"Well we thought you were a goner for going back there to make fun of Trixie some more." Scootaloo answered.

"How did it go anyway? Did ya let her have it?" added Applebloom, also concerned on how things turned out between me and the somewhat self-centered mare.

"Well you know, Of course I let her have it! I'm not just going to let her smash me into a tree and get away with it." I said with confidence.

I obviously couldn't tell them the truth though, and even if I did, what was I suppose to tell them? 'I work for her now because I felt bad.'? Nah, A little white lie never does any harm anyway. They'll be fine.

"Really Stanley!?!" Sweetie Belle said in amazement at the unbelievable news.

"Yep."

"Did she cry?" Scootaloo added.

"Like a baby." I answered with ease. The girls then started laughing as a group upon hearing the news. I'm starting to think I'm pushing it a little too far..

No, Not at all. Please, continue.

"I really wish I could've seen that!" Applebloom cried out upon the laughter.

"Haha, Yeah. Me too!" Scootaloo inputed.

"Come on now, it wasn't 'that' funny. Hehe." I said, concluding the laughter. "It's getting dark anyway, now say your goodbye's so I can get Applebloom home just in time for dinner.

"Hahahe, alright Stanley. Bye Scootaloo, bye Sweetie Belle." Applebloom said in a tight embrace amongst the girls.

"Bye Crusaders, bye Stan." Scootaloo mentioned before heading off on her own.

Wait where does she live?

I don't know.... But she called me 'Stan' though.

Sweetie Belle suddenly dashed towards my leg, giving it a loving snuggle before saying her goodbyes.

"Bye Stanley! Bye Applebloom!" she then shouted running towards Rarity's Boutique

"See ya fella's." I said finally as I was waving off the two fillies.

"So Applebloom, ya ready to go?" I asked as I was spectating the now ended birthday party. But out of nowhere I hear..

"Come on, Stanley! We don't want to keep my sister waitin'!" Applebloom yells while running towards the farm.

"Aw COME ON! You've could have at least gave me a warning or something!" I huffed as I tried to keep up with the energetic horse.

Making it towards the farm in record time, I immediately passed out from exhaustion trying to keep up with Applebloom.

"Um, are ya okay, Stanley? Do ya need some water or somethin'?" Applebloom finally asked with concern.

"I don't need it.. I don't need it... I definitely don't need it.." I murmured upon myself out in tiredness.

"Oh, well I'll just let you sit here then I guess...But thanks for taking me and the girls to the party, and showing Trixie 'what for'!"

"Don't mention it." I uttered as my face trampled in the soil.

"Haha, see ya around, Stanley." Applebloom finally said before heading off into the house.

I then stood their for an awkward amount off time, trying my best to regain my strength after that long ass run.

Man you're out of shape.

"Ya alright, Stan?" A sudden familiar voice calls over me.

I jolted up almost immediately after realizing who's voice that was. The one and only Applejack.

Oh, Brother.

"Did my Sister do this to you?" she continued.

"Because if she did, I swear, I'll-"

"She didn't do anything." I hurried and butted in, quickly getting Applebloom out of potential trouble.

"Oh!" Applejack blushed. "Then why were ya face deep in the ground like that, Sugercube?

"I got tired on the way here... But I'm fine now."

"Well in that case, would ya like to come inside for sum homemade Apple Pie?" She offered invitingly. But sadly...

"I'm sorry I would love to, but It's my turn to make dinner at home. Nuts got me on a chore wheel type of thing..." I said in defeat, knowing I couldn't spend more time with her today.

"Well, that's alright. I'll just save you one for tomorrow if ya swing on by." she said with a smiles.

The scene then started to dim of the afternoon sun. It was getting pretty late, and I know Nuts is just waiting for me to walk through the door, with that evil look painted across his face.

"Oh, and by the way. Thanks again for taking the girls to the party." Applejack continued "It sure was 'Greatly' appreciated."

"Aw, come on. It wasn't a problem. You would've done the same for me if I had kids.." I joked, and surprisingly she giggled a bit.

Smooth.

"Well I better head back inside, before the pie gets cold, See ya around Stan." Applejack concluded leaning upward to peck my forehead, before heading off.

But the weird part about that is when I was in the moment for an 'actual' kiss. So I leaned in that position awkwardly while she kiss my forehead.

I felt stupid for a good 10 seconds left in that position before walking back home.
Apparently, I'm upping my level of the 'Friend-Zone' chain.

So how does it feel?

What?

How does it feel, knowing that bestiality is coming your way in the mere future.

I mean....Who knows. It probably feels the same as it regularly feels with human girl.

....And how does that feel? OH! Wait. You don't know how it feels, because you're still a Virgin!

.....Shut Up.

Ooh, clever response..

Chapter 12: Witchcraft

Well today I start my first day as Trixie's Apprentice. Which means I can't do my usual morning routine of waking up, going back to sleep, waking up again, go to the restroom, lay down some more, and eventually eat breakfast (when I have the energy.) But instead, I had to actually get up to do something.

Now i'm just waiting for Nuts to leave the house to go to work. I have yet to tell him that I have a temporary job. He already thinks I owe him money for just breathing in his house. I'll just surprise him eventually.

Nuts then made his way out of the room passing the couch I was resting so soundly on.

"Hey." Nuts concluded before smashing the door on his exit.

It is now.. Go Time.

I rushed to put on a white dingy t-shirt along with a pair of jeans to suit up my apparel. I skipped a shower, and instead just slid on some deodorant to disregard any kind of stench. Finally I grabbed an apple for my breakfast before I headed towards the door for my first day of potential torture.

Opening the door into the fresh air of Equestria, I looked towards the sky to see the sun as it rises.

"Well I guess today can't be all that bad.."

Whatever.

"HI STANLEY!" I suddenly heard a cheerful voice call below me. It scared the BEJEZUS out of me. But I soon came to find out that it's none other then Equestria's most playful pony 'Pink..... Um, Guy?'.

Ohhh.. So Close.

"What's Up?" I greeted the mare who stood at my doorstep.

It's Pinkie Pie, dude..

"The sky, silly!" Pinkie Pie jokingly replied.

"Haha." I sarcastically smirked towards the pink horse. "Very funny, Pinkie."

"Well it is!" Pinkie Pie surely states.

Pinkie Pie was surely the jokester of all the ponies I knew in this world, which makes it kinda hard to tell if she's serious or not.

"Hehe, indeed it is. But um, why are you here exactly?"

"Well I came to see you silly! We haven't made any sweets together in like forever, Hehe!"

"At 10 in the morning?"

"Of course, better early than never!"

"I think the saying is 'better late then never' Pink."

"What ever floats your boat 'Stanly-Bambi'!"

Annoyed by the nickname, I choose to except it and proceeded to tell Pinkie about her unfortunate plan cancellation.

"Well sorry to break it to ya, But I actually have to go to Trixie's today for something else." I explain to Pinkie.

"WHAT! THE SAME GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE THAT SMASHED YOU INTO A TREE YESTERDAY?!?!?" Pinkie Pie exerted in response.

"H-how did you know about that?" I nervously asked, unaware that the story went out.

"Are you kidding?! Everyone in Ponyville knew as soon as the Cutie Mark Crusaders told us!"

"R-really?" I stammered to say as I started to gather all this new information.

"Yeah! They even told us how you stood up to her and made her cry like a baby! I have to say Stanley, I didn't think you had it in you." Pinkie said, concluding the story.

Whoa, seems like your little white lie turned into something bold, buddy. I'd like to see how you would get yourself out of this one.

"Yea..." I responded scratching my neck. "Me, neither.."

"But why would you rather go over there today, instead of hanging out with me?" Pinkie Pie asked with concerned eyes.

"Well...Ya see umm..."I muttered, thinking of a clever excuse."I left my um, Banana over there...Yeah!"

...Wut?

"Your Banana?" Pinkie said in confusion.

"Yeah, my Banana!... Um I left it at Trixie's house while I was yelling at her, hehe. I must've forgot.." I said, attempting to lie to the Pink Partier. But sure enough...

"Oh Okay, I totally understand!" Pinkie Pie assured me, understanding the 'situation'. "Do ya mind if I come with you, I'm not doing anything else today anyway."

Well Fuck.

"Sure,I guess. The more the merrier.."

"WOWIE ZOWIE!" Pinkie bursted in excitement. "Lets go!"

And at that moment Pinkie dashed forward, grabbing my hand. So I assume she knows were she is going..

"Pinkiiiiiiiiiieeeee!!!!" I shouted as we zoomed forward.

"Do you even know where you're going?" I finally uttered to ask as we were fleeing forward.

"Of course I do silly, but even if I didn't my Pinkie senses would lead me the way."

"Your, what? Would do, What!?" I questioned the crazed of the pink mare.

"Hehe, ask Twilight, she has doubted my Pinkie senses also"

"I'll just take your word for it."

But surprising enough, we were actually going the RIGHT way to Trixie's trailer.......well the last place I recalled it was. She probably moved it, considering the fact that its a trailer. Needless to say, it's always good to check.

"We're HERE!" Pinkie said in excitement upon arrival, and indeed we were. The trailer stood at the same place I at last visited it "It's funny really, I thought Twilight made her forever good after there last magical duel. But after what she done to you, she probably still had some evil in her."

"Hehe, yeah. I guess so.." I nervously replied.

Don't you even feel just a little guilt?

Well yeah, of course. But this white lie can't go that far.....right?

If you say so...

"Well, What are you waiting for? Go get your Banana." Pinkie hurried.

"My wahh?" Confused by what the pink pony was talking about.

Your lie, remember?

"Oh yeah! Sure thing, just wait out here for a moment." I told Pinkie as I walked towards the trailer door.

It's very sad that you can't even keep up with your own lines.

....Shut Up.

I began to knock on the door, crossing my fingers for a miracle to get me out of this Pinkie Pie situation.
The doorknob started to turn, I had to think fast...

Upon opening the door before Trixie could see the outside, I held it cracked opened so I could speak the following.

"Pinkie Pie followed me here and she's expecting me to leave soon, I need you to make her go away somehow without hurting her feelings. Capish?" I speedily whispered towards Trixie who then had wide disturbed eyes.

"I'll see what I can do.." She replied, understanding the situation. "Follow my lead." She continued.

And with a burst of magic I flew back from the door hitting the ground, and before I could make any subtle movements Trixie pounced upon me with anger in her eyes.
I really hope this was part of the plan...

"I thought I told you to never come back here again!" Trixie screamed at me face to face with a slight wink to indicate that is was my turn for a rebuttal.

"Um, Well you thought I was done with you?!...You thought you could just take my Banana and get away with it!"

"Wait....Your what?!..." replied in confusion.

I then signaled the 'go along with it' hand motion so she wouldn't break character, and she tried to catch on.

"Well, your Banana was left on my property......So that makes it mine!" She argued with a stomp of a hoof.

"Yo Pink, you should probably leave.....This might get ugly." I said in serious tone towards the mare to seal the deal.

And without hesitation, Pinkie Pie with a wide gasp sprinted away towards town. "Good luck Stanley, I hope you'll be alright!" Pinkie yelled while drifting off.

I'm surprised that actually worked.

Watching the alarmed Pink pony runaway made me feel so relieved. Good thing Trixie played along, or I would've been a go-

*WHAM!*

A wild SMACK of magic across the face made me unable to think for a split second as Trixie look upon me in shame.

"Yaow! What did I do?" I said in a protesting tone. But Trixie didn't respond, she just continued to glare at me.

"What?" I asked again.

"Are you seriously not aware of what you have done?"

"Uh....." I awkwardly muttered scratching my neck.

"You certainly know how to lie up a storm, I'm gonna remember this while we get started."

"What are we doing exactly" I asked

"We? Haha, YOU are going to prove your worthiness to me." Trixie replied with a snide tone.

"My worthiness? Well sorry 'Your Majesty' but what exactly do I have to be worthy of?"

"Working with me. I need to know if you won't be going around lying up a storm again."

It was then suddenly I realized that she knew about the lie I've been spreading across Ponyville. And her I am, lying all over the place thinking that she won't be the wiser. She's more clever than I thought.

"Y-You Uh, kne-"

"I Knew." She interrupted with stern look on her face.

"Well I can explain if ya want..."

"No time, I'd rather get started on your first lesson."

"Any that would beeeee-?"

"Spell Monkey 101."

I got to admit, the name of this lesson did sound a little odd upon. So I just assumed that she had a pet monkey around carrying a wand or something. Little did I know, that wasn't the case...

"Okay, sounds fun." I replied upon the lesson. "But, what do I do?"

"Oh, that's easy, you're the monkey!" Trixie answered in evil amusement, and with a quick thrust of horn magic Stan's body started to vibrate revealing a long monkey tail coming from his rear end.

"WHAT?" I shrieked in confusion at the sudden transaction.

Ooohhhh, should've saw that coming!

"What kind of Witchcraft Bullshit did you do to me" I Barked at Trixie, But I was soon silence by a zipper appearing on my face by her magic.

"Language Stanley, If your going to work for me, I have to lay down a couple of ground rules with you." Trixie said in a snide tone, removing the zipper.

"Like what?" I snuffed in curiosity as the tail swiped across my face. "Ouch!"

"Well firstly, You will now address as your Superior."

"Not gonna happen." *swipe* "Ouch!!"

"That wasn't a choice, Stanley."

"Whatever, what's the next thing 'Superior'." I said in a sarcastic tone.

"You will now be labeled under the name 'Spell Monkey', and you will gladly accept this name if you want profit." Trixie debated.

"What am I slave to you?" *swipe* "OUCH!!!"

"Why yes actually, you are. After the little lies you've been spreading across Ponyville, I feel this is the appropriate way you can 'owe' me back. Don't ya think?"

Admitting to defeat, I accepted the following rules given.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"I'll be sure to keep an open mind whenever you slip up." She winked.

As evil as she is, I actually kinda deserve this. And it can't be all that bad, at least getting paid is the only benefit that can come from this.

"Oh My GOODNESS! JUST PUT ME DOWN ALREADY, PLEEEEEEASE." I screamed in terror as Trixie floated me above 20 feet with her magic.

"Stay still Spell Monkey, do I have to explain the trick to you again!"

"I doubt that I can listen this time, with all the blood rushing to my head and all!"

"Ugh!" Trixie sighed "All you all you have to do is stay still while I practice my flying spell."

"Oh yeah, that's a great idea considering the fact that I'm FLOATING 1000 FEET IN THE AIR."

"I'm almost done, just calm down. Sheesh."

You may think i'm overreacting to this whole thing, and I would have to agree with you. But YOU try floating in the air with any safety precautions what so ever and see how you do.

"Alright Spell Monkey, take 5." Trixie concluded while floating me down to the surface. "You really are a cry baby by the way."

"Oh my goodness, yes!" I eagerly said as I landed. "Ground, sweet ground!" planting kisses to the surface.

"Hehe, was it that bad?" Trixie snickered.

"Hey, how about you go through what I just went through, then we can talk."

"For your information, have done this before. Even upon myself at times." Trixie intervened "So calm yourself, Spell Monkey"

"Sorry, Superior.... That name is gonna take me some getting used to."

"Hey, If you wanna get paid I suggest that you do."

Spoken like a true boss.

"So do you have any upcoming magic shows anytime soon." I asked, unaware of her probably busy schedule.

A sudden struck of silence was upon her, as if I asked a question about a loved ones death or something equally saddening.

"Um, Yesterday was actually my last gig in a couple of months." Trixie muttered in a soft tone.

Wow she must've really suck.

"Oh wow, I really messed this one up didn't I?" I apologized.

Trixie then turned her head quickly with the nastiest look upon hearing what I said.

"What?" I questioned in response as my tail smacked me in the face yet again. "Dammit."

"You don't understand, do you?" Trixie replied in a stern voice. "Not only did you mess everything up. But that will probably be my last show ever!"

Aw man, we really did mess up this time.

"I thought this would be my chance to finally show everyone how hard I've worked with my magic. But you... you ruined my big chance to prove that." Trixie concluded as rubbed her eyes.

Realizing how much I ruined things for her, I couldn't help but feel worst that I already did for lying. There has to be something I can do, but I seriously don't know what.

"Um, is there anything else you want me to do, Superior?" I offered my services, hoping this would be a good start towards forgiveness.

Trixie begins to smile upon my effort. "Well if you're willing to get the air again without crying, I can test my flying out some more." she accepted.

"Yeah sure, lets give it another go." I replied with a gulp.

After a long period of aerial spins and constant vomit while your tail constantly slaps you in the face. The sun begun to fade and my shift was coming to a close.

"Holy crap!" I announced, looking towards the sky. "Night time already?"

"Looks like it." Trixie responded, noticing the change of day as well.

Overall, this day didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would. Trixie's actually an okay person once you get to know her.

"Same time, tomorrow?" I questioned Trixie, unaware of 'work' hours

"You know it, Spell Monkey." Trixie devilishly grinned.

"Yeah, about that. COULD YOU GET RID OF THIS TAIL, it's becoming quite annoying." I demanded as it swiped across my face once more.

"Oops, forgot all about that." Trixie snickered as she flicked her horn to make to tail disappear.

"Great. Now, never give me one of those again!"

"No Promises."

I really hope she isn't serious.

"Whelp, I'll be on my way." I announced as I begun to walk home. Preparing my lies for every question Nuts asks me.

"Wait!" I came to a abrupt stop upon hearing Trixie's voice call for me.

Ugh. What does she want now.

"What?" I asked in concern. Trixie then trotted towards me with questionable eyes. I honestly didn't know what to expect.

"You forgot this." Trixie said floating some items with her magic, which appeared to be a few coins, and.......A Banana.

"What's this?" I questioned the light-blue mare.

"It's your payment for today."

"What! Seriously!"

"Yep, go ahead. You did work pretty hard today anyway."

"Wow, payment on the first day and- um....What's with the Banana?"

Trixie began to walk off before answering my question, but nonetheless. It is a free banana!

You seriously don't remember do you?

Oh yeah, the lie we told Pinkie Pie to get here.

Bingo. Three points for you pal.

Wow she had an actual banana in the first place, that's awesome.

I then took a bite of my rewarded banana and went on my merry way.

So how much monies do we got?

Probably enough to buy one of those new Hot Tub Motorcycles.

Seriously?

I don't know, I really not even sure how currency works around here. But Trixie was a cool enough perso-.... Pony to give it to me. So I think I can make it last.

You known its sad.All these little friends you're making here is going to deepen your pain, once you leave this place.

Giving it some deep thought about why i'm taking to myself, My brain had a point. If I get to attached, these horses could really get to me.

Finishing my banana after a long walk. I appeared at my doorstep, opening the door, and awaiting the series of questions Nuts my ask about me being gone for so long..... But no one was home.

Absolutely empty it was in the house. Not a peep in sight.

"Hm, He probably had a late shift today." I thought to myself as-...

"HEY!" BOOM, Nuts comes barging through the front door on his entrance.

"Dude what's your frickin' problem with doors?!" I screamed at the hostile stallion.

"Hey." Nuts carelessly shrugged, placing some cards on the kitchen table as he walked in.

"Long day at work, huh?" I asked him, trying to start some small talk.

"Mhmm" Nuts replied in agreement.

"Yep, I can relate to that."

Nuts then glared at me with one of the most serious faces I have ever seen.

He doesn't know you work yet dummy.

"I mean because work sucks...ya know?" I rushed, as I tried to cover up what I said.

Nuts' glare then began to sink in even more.

Dude, seal the deal. SEAL THE DEAL.

I then panicked and reached for one of the coins I received for currency today.

"Uh, Here buy ya sumthin' nice." I said with cockiness as I threw the coin.

"Hey...." Nuts replied in a suspecting tone. He then bites the coin making sure it was the real thing. Nodding his head in approval he puts the money in his......i'm assuming 'pockets' and went on to wink at me.

Close call, man.

Indeed.

Nuts headed towards the couch to slouch the rest of the night away (Which was originally my idea). But upon smelling myself, it comes to my attention that I 'may' need a shower.

I mean, you did skip it this morning.

Before heading up the stairs to take a well needed shower, I took another at the cards Nuts placed on the table. It be bills, or even a note from Celestia or-...

NUTS' ICE CREAM ANNUAL EXTRAVAGANZA OPENED ALL DAY TOMORROW!

It happened to be a celebration notice for Nuts' Ice cream stand tomorrow, and as I look more into the card it was more than just some crummy anniversary that no ones gonna care about. But it seems like Nuts really has this planned out. Plus he has Pinkie Pie hosting, it's pretty much guaranteed to be epic.

I wonder.....

"Hey Nuts!" I announced from across he room.

"Hey." he plainly responses.

"What's this all about?"

"Hey."

"Pinkie Pie doing a pretty good job?"

"Hey."

"You wonder if I can ask a favor then?"

".....Hmmm?"

"Could you please book Trixie for this thing?"

"Huh?"

"You won't regret it promise."

"Uhhhh."

"Please dude, I'll owe you back. I swear!"

Giving it some heavy thought, Nuts finally nodded his head in approval to the request. No doubt he's gonna want a favor in return if we messed this up. But at least she's booked, she's gonna love this. One more step to forgiveness

"Thanks, man. You're not that much of a douchebag after all." I thanked the stallion, walking towards him for embrace.

"HEY HEY HEY HEEEEEY!" Nuts protested, holding his nose as I approach him.

Oh yeah, Shower... "Hehe, sorry."

Chapter 13: Ice Cream Extravaganza

Today's the big day, the day my apology really matters, the day I can make everything up to Trixie. Nuts gave us the chance of a lifetime, and swear we won't let him down.

From your lack of experience with 'magic'. I expect different.

Well that's true, but I am a quote unquote Spell Monkey. So I won't have to do much anyway, instead make her look good.

And you're proud of that?

Well not really, but at least I won't have to feel bad anymore.

After having that 'sophisticated' conversation with.... myself. Nuts was beginning to leave out the door, but before slamming it like I expected, He suddenly turned towards me with a grin.

"Heeeey." Nuts playfully sings while pointing his hoof at the upstairs door. Reveling the guestroom he never wanted me to sleep in. Dose this mean if the show goes well, I can finally sleep in there?!

Don't get your hopes up kid, that could mean something totally different.

I hope it didn't, I'm really getting tired of sleeping on that couch.

But anyway, I think it's about time to head over to Trixie's to tell her the good news.

The only problem is we have to see if she's okay with this gig.

It's fine. This is what she wanted anyway, how can she refuse?

"What do you mean, NO?" I shouted in confusion toward the mare.

"I mean, I'm not going to a gig I know nothing about. Let alone even practiced for." Trixie replied in protest.

Later on that day, I headed over to Trixie's. Where she stood behind her trailer, reading a couple of magic books. I came approaching her with the good news. But apparently, she thinks different.

"Not practice? Then what was all the crap we went through yesterday? I thought this is what you wanted."

"That was ONE DAY! This is a gig, which takes a couple of days to prepare for."

"You're over-reacting, come on! It'll be fun I swear."

"Look Stan, I can appreciate the fact that you were trying to help. But I just can't do this."

It's obvious i'm not making a breakthrough with this woman. I'm not sure if she's shy, or she just thinks everything will go bad.

But I know one thing, If we don't make it to this gig, I can kiss that guest bedroom goodbye for sure.

Trixie then stood there with an expression on her face simulating that she wasn't gonna go.

"Come on! This is gonna make us big probably." I stated.

Concern then shows across the face of Trixie upon hearing.

"Plus I'm on your side too, so even if the show goes bad, We can BOTH have the shame." I included.

"I don't know..." Trixie says, still unsure.

"I'll be the spell monkey for the shoooow." I playfully toned, assuring that Trixie might enjoy the idea.

What did you just say? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

"Hmmmm. Oh alright, I'll go!" Trixie agree with no hesitation upon all the benefits I included.

"Awesome!" I shouted in excitement. The guestroom might finally be mine after all.... But then I realized.

Oh, wait minute.

*POOF* A zap a magic from Trixie's horn once again turned me into a primate.

"Aw, Man." I uttered in defeat as Trixie giggled.

"Come On. Let's get going!" Trixie said, grabbing her hat before heading off.

Meanwhile at the 'Ice Cream Extravaganza' Nuts was getting awfully frustrated because Stan has yet to show up.

"Hey..." Nuts grumbles to himself, selling ice cream to all the kids at the event.

"Hey Nuts, What's the matter with you?" Pinkie Pie asks walking towards the troubled stallion.

"Hey." Nuts replied.

"Stanley has yet to show up?"

"Hey."

"Oh, come on Nuts. It's not all that bad. I'm sure Stan will show up soon."

"Hey."

"What was he suppose to be doing anyway?"

"Uh. Hey."

"Something with Trixie? Noooooooo, That's impossible! They hate each other. Like yesterday him and Trixie were arguing because Trixie took his banana."

"Hey?"

"Of course it's true! I was there. Plus Stanley would never lie to me..... Would he?"

"Hey."

"Now Nuts, there's no need for that type of language. Now get back to selling that ice cream. These fillies ain't gonna feed themselves.....Well, actually they can....but you know what I mean."

"Hey."

"Don't worry, Stanley will come, I just know it." Pinkie concluded, assuring Nuts not to get angry.

And right on cue.

"HEY PINKIE!" Stan shouted from afar, finally arriving to the party.

"STAN-ley?" Pinkie Pie's greeting is suddenly paused upon seeing the sight of Trixie Lulamoon walking by the side of Stan. Pinkie Pie was now aware that Stan was indeed lying to her.

"Holy Crap! We made it on time." I said, surprised that the event was still going on.

"I'm not sure about this." Trixie said in regret of doing the gig.

"Come on, Trixie. You can't bail out now. I'm already in the monkey get-up." I explained to Trixie, making her reconsider.

"I guess." She said in defeat.

We started to approach Pinkie Pie, (who was glaring at me for some odd reason) and Nuts, who was still serving ice cream to fillies. Nuts finally notices I just arrived, and BOY was he mad.

"HEY!" Nuts screams at me with great force.

"Sorry we're late, I ran into some difficulties. But everything's fine now." I said, trying to calm down the ill mannered stallion. Pinkie Pie then zooms towards me, making our eyes meet contact.

"YOU BIG LIAR!" Pinkie yelled while glaring me down. "I thought you and Trixie hated each other! Was that whole banana story a fluke just to get me to go way!?" She continued.

Busted.

Before I started to explain to Pinkie Pie all the lies I've been telling her. Trixie started to wonder off to a platform with curtain.

Wow, Nuts really wanted you to put on a show.

Merely more interested in the show than Pinkie yelling at me. I carefully put my hand towards her muzzle.

"I'll explain later." I quickly said to the pink mare. Stunned by the action, Pinkie actually stops talking but she keeps a mad expression on her face.

I then turned towards Nuts who was staring me down the moment arrived, but it wasn't in a mean glare as expected, it was more of a confused concerned look.

It might be because your a monkey..

"Uh, Hey?-" Nuts begun to say before I abruptly stop him. Saying the exact words I said to Pinkie.

"I'll explain later." I spoke quickly, avoided any confusion. Nuts just stood there shaking his head to make sure what he see's isn't a illusion... It wasn't..

While Pinkie & Nuts stared at me (both for different reasons), I decided to tail off to were Trixie was. She was still at the curtained platform, poofing up things for her tricks on to the stage with her magic.

"Your really prepared for this?" I asked walking to her.

"Well, not really. I'm actually kind of nervous. I haven't practiced any new tricks. So most of this might has to be improv." Trixie replied.

"Improv? With magic? Wow this is going to be some show." I said, enthusiastic about the idea.

The fillies and colts began to gather around, seeing that their is a show about to start. Nuts continued to sell ice cream while Pinkie went on stage to induce me and Trixie.

Oh, boy. This should be good.

"LADIES AND GENTLECOLTS!" Pinkie yelled out. "Nuts' Ice Cream Extravaganza presents to you today, 'The Great and Apologetic Trixie' & 'The Big Fat Liar Stanley The Monkey'!"

"Pinkie!" I protested towards the mare

"Hehe, oops sorry. Still mad at you." Pinkie snickers as she bounces away still holding the grudge.

It was then our cue to perform..

Trixie begins the show by zapping me behind the curtain with her horn. To the crowd it looks like I disappeared, so they weren't the wiser. Trixie then took off her magicians hat and said the following.

"Watch, as I 'The Great and Apologetic Trixie' pull a monkey from my hat."

Digging her hoove deep into her hat, a magical aura appeared around me making me spontaneously go trough the hat as she pulled me out. (Don't ask how she did it, because I don't have a clue either.)

"TaDa!" Trixie paraded as the filly crowd was starting to eat up one of the basic's of magician tricks. Trixie was actually holding her own in this gig.

As the clapping from the crowd continued, Trixie begun her next trick.

"Next up will be an age spell." Trixie announced. "Watch as I make my Spell Monkey Stan, become younger before your very eyes!"

"Younger?" I whispered to myself in confusion. "I haven't seen this one before."

Trixie began to position herself, tilting her head so her horn could be directly aimed at me.

I hope this doesn't hurt.

Trixie then let out an enormous zap of magic towards me, making a big foggy purple cloud form around my likeness. My clothes felt heavier than they were before, and loose at that. I can confirm that I was still a monkey based on the fact that I can still feel the tail moving. Also, everything felt bigger and taller around me, like I shrunk or something. Avoiding any more confusion on the sudden change, I finally asked.

"Hey, what did you do to me!" I squeak upon saying. I seriously sounded like a infant just then.

It was then Trixie poofed up a mirror so I could see it for myself. And believe it or not, I was a child. I believe I was about 4 years old to be exact. I had all my baby teeth back, and I was looking goddamn adorable honestly.

The crowd reacted affectively to the trick, leaving them wanting more.

"So are you gonna change me back?" I squeaked again, unaware of how long this chimp-child transformation will last. And thus she does so. Changing me back to my older self with another zap.

"You're doing great so far." I whispered towards Trixie, who was actually doing an honestly good job for improv.

Trixie then winked at me as a reply and got ready for her final trick.

"For my final trick watch as Me & Stan levitate and fly through the air!" Trixie announced.

WHAT!

'What' was right. Not only was she unsuccessful at doing this trick BY HERSELF. But we only practiced it for one day. Their's no way we can pull this off.

"Um, Uh Trixie.... Are you sure about this?" I asked with concern if the mare was able to do this. And boy was she determined.

"No, but it's worth a shot." Trixie replies with a serious tone of voice. "Just try and stay calm, alright?"

"Okay." I nodded in agreement. And thus the trick began.

Trixie stood her position, taking deep and subtle breaths to assure herself she could do it. Her horn was beginning to glow and both of us started to have magical fields surround our feet. We slowly started to rise from the ground, a good 2 feet actually.

So far, So good.

We ascended higher in levitation until we reached the height of 20 feet. At this point im thinking in my mind "Stay Calm. Stay Calm!" while having my eyes locked shut. I then felt a touch upon my hand making me open my eyes on contact revealing Trixie's hoove holding me. I turned up to see her face in which she gave this settling look. A look that said "Trust me", so I did so and clinched my hand onto her.

After that moment we began to fly all across the heads of those at the party. They were all gazing in amazement as we twirled in the sky, even Nuts was impressed by the act. I even started to have a happy feeling inside, seeing as we are successfully doing the trick.

"Woo Hoo, YEAH! All Right!" I shouted with glee. "This is AWESOME!"

"I knew you'd get the hang of it." Trixie said as we flew.

Nearing the end of the stunt, me a Trixie nodded at each other as we back flipped back on to the platform. The crowd went berserk from the dismount seeing that the trick was preformed so perfectly. Pinkie Pie then appeared anonymously out of nowhere with a cannon.

I don't like the looks of this.

She pulled a string on cannon in which it let out a loud burst of......Confetti?

A look of confusion pasted across my face upon seeing such a contraption, but then I remember.....it was Pinkie Pie were talking about.

Our performance was now over, and Nuts' ice cream was beginning to sell like hot cakes. Fillies were lining up miles wide for it. I even think I saw Sweetie Belle and her friends in there too.

"That was amazing you two!" Pinkie Pie said as she bounced towards us.

"Why thank you Pinkie Pie." Trixie accepts the compliment. "But I couldn't have done it without my Spell Monkey."

"Yeah, Well, You know.." I started to say, sorta flattered by Trixie's words.

"Shut it! You big fat fibber." Pinkie Pie interrupted me in mid-sentence.

"Aw man, Pinkie Pie, Still?" I pleaded towards the mare for forgiveness. "I only lied to you because the lie before that lie was a lie, so I couldn't back up that lie because that would probably be a lie too, but based on the lies I already told I can now say that....I'm not a very good liar."

Pinkie Pie then stood frozen upon my speech, but nonetheless....She understood...

"OOOOOhhh Okay!" Pinkie Pie's bubbly smile arose once more. "I get it now, you only lied to me because you didn't want to hurt anyone's feeling with the first lie, so you had to make another lie to cover that lie."

Well....she kinda gets it.

"Well, Yeah." I simply replied, avoiding any further confusion with Pinkie Pie.

Nuts was beginning to make millions from the aftershow! He even begun to go insane from all the progress so much to even threw his riches in the air as he laughed with glee.

"I think Nuts is over joying himself quite a bit." Trixie states as she walked toward me.

"Yeah, I would say he does this all the time, but I only knew the guy for a couple of weeks." I joked as Nuts rolled around in the coins. Trixie snickered along with me as Nuts lost it and we both soon came to notice that a stallion started to walk towards us. He had a slicked mane and money signs covering a good quarter of his body. It was then I came into realization that it was the Filthy Rich dude I met at that one birthday party I went to.

"Hey, what's up Filthy." I casually greeted him.

"Why, Hello there Stanley, I've come to notice that you're a big fan of parties, No?" Filthy Rich replied, noticing he only sees me when theirs a party involved.

"Haha, Yeah, I guess i'm starting to notice that too. What do ya need?" I asked Filthy his reason for walking to us.

"Well I actually came to ask you two about the performance you just put on." Filthy Rich stated, immediately getting Trixie's attention. "It was a spectacular show and I wanted to ask if you could do the same at my daughter's birthday party as well?"

Upon asking, Trixie's eyes begun to lit and glitter in amazement. People are now wanting to book her for gigs, and she doesn't even have to ask.

"Absolutely Mr. Rich!" Trixie rushed to answer before I could even get a word out.

"Splendid then, The location will be at my house next weekend." Filthy Rich explains. "Don't be late."

"Absolutely Mr. Rich!" Trixie again repeated upon Filthy's words. I then received an outta-nowhere embrace from Trixie for no apparent reason.

"What is this for?" I asked, unaware of her actions.

"Because thank you, that's why." Trixie says as she squeezes tighter.

Can't argue with that.

Filthy Rich then sat and looked in confusion as Trixie finished the hug, like if something was bothering him.

"Um, Stanley. Not to be rude or anything but, Why are you a monkey?"

"HOLY CRAP!" I outburst, completely forgetting that I was still in primate form. "CHANGE ME BACK TRIXIE!"

Author's Note

I would love it if I can get comments on this chapter, I just want to be aware if people were still reading this lol.

Chapter 14: Would Ya Like An Apple?

After that successful gig Trixie & I had with Diamond Tiara's birthday party, we begun to receive an onslaught of constant jobs to do afterwards. Doing gigs on Trains, The Crystal Kingdom, and even Las Pegasus! I was very well aware that it was suppose to resemble Las Vegas, but the similarities was uncanny. They had casinos, bars, and even Pony Elvis! I still can't even wrap my mind around that. But anyway, Me & Trixie hit it off just great throughout the adventure. I'm actually a pretty wealthy person right now. Nuts even started charging rent after seeing my success.....Douchebag.
Nonetheless, it's been a pretty good couple of weeks in Equestria.

Ugh! Why must you torture me so..

Come on, It's not as bad as when we first came.

Stanley, I think your starting to forget the main concept of why were staying here so long.

Wut?

Don't you remember, That alicorn stated that she was going to find some type of way to get us back to our own world. BUT she has yet to show up, maybe we have to go to her ourselves to get back home. She could be waiting for us as we speak.

I wouldn't get my hopes up, considering the fact that she's been watching me ever since I came, so she wouldn't troll me that badly again......would she?

For your sake, I hope not.

ANYWAY. I've been working an awful lot lately, and it's not that I don't enjoy this job. but every guy like me deserves a break every once in awhile. Trixie's been treating me so well throughout the weeks that I would hate to get on her bad side if I were to ask for some time off.

What is she? Your Mom? You don't need her approval.

Well she is kinda my boss.

Oh, Yeah.

I'll ask her today, I mean what's the worst she can say?

"A break?!" the surprised Trixie utters after hearing Stan's request. "But, I thought we were having so much fun."

It was only a couple of moments ago before Stan gave out the news about him wanting time off. Trixie happened to be unpacking from their last show in Manehattan upon Stan's arrival at the time.

"We were, and I enjoyed every single show, it's just that a guy needs a little break from time to time. Ya know?" Stan said with an honest tone. "Plus, I gotta do something with these extra bits I have." Trixie was still under the allusion that Stan wanted to stop working for her, but after understanding his needs she went ahead and coped with his request.

"Well alright, I guess." Trixie said in defeat. "You can come back whenever you feel replenished."

"Aw, come on." Stan said a assuring tone. "I'm not leaving forever, I'll probably be back before you know it!"

"Hehe, I know!" Trixie said with a more jollier tone. "I guess i'm just over thinking it."

"Whelp, I guess I'll just see you around then." Stan says in a nonchalant tone as he walks away.

"Alright, See you later!" Trixie waves him off as he leaves.

Wow you're blind.

What do you mean?

Isn't it obvious that she probably likes you now?

Who, Trixie? Nah, we're just business partners. Plus i'm still into Applejack.

We're heading to her house right now, aren't we?

How'd ya guess?

Brain.

Oh yeah.

As I headed towards Applejack's house, I was having thoughts about what exactly would I say to her. I haven't seen her in awhile since I joined up with Trixie. Who knows how our "relationship" could at this point. I really hope i'm not a complete stranger to her now.

You're worried about being a complete stranger to her? Just imagine the amount of rent Nuts is going to charge you for not even staying there for the past week.

Well, at least I can pay for it now..

Getting closer to Applejack's house, I came to thinking. What if she isn't here?

I think you're overreacting.

I knocked on the front door. No answer..

Well, At least you tried.

I broke down in tears at the front door in pure disappointment. "Nooooooooooo!!!!!" I screamed out into the skies.

Okay, Now you're REALLY overrating.

Thinking that nothing couldn't get any worse, I hear a faint call of my name in the distance. I took the time to spectate where it came from, but there was no luck. I look around a bit more, but all I found was an apple orchard......where Applejack......happened to be standing...Oh.

"Stan, are you okay?" Applejack called out

"HAHA, Yeah I'm just fine!" I answered nervously

"Then why are ya crying at my door? There isn't anyone in the house right now."

"Well, ya see, um, I stubbed my toe walking here......Yeah."

Smooth like sand paper.

"So what are you doing back here anyway?" I asked as I approached Applejack. "Picking yourself an afternoon snack?"

"Haha, No silly, I'm doing my job." Applejack replied

"Job?"

"Well, Yeah. I buck these critters out of the trees and sell them for profit!"

"That sounds exhausting..."

"Well it has it's perks to see everypony enjoying our apples! Applebloom was suppose to be selling them today, but we forgot that she had school at this time. Granny Smith would do it, if she wasn't......well you know, and Big Mac is off selling apples in another town. So this time It's all up to me to sell apples all around Ponyville before midnight."

"How about I help!" I offered Applejack

"Really? Don't cha got to do magician-y things with Trixie?" Applejack questioned

"Not today, I took time off to enjoy life.....and things like this."

"Ya know you don't have to right? I'm fully capable of doin' thing by myself."

"Come on Applejack, I WANT to help. How possibly hard is it to be a apple salesman anyway? We'll make this fun!"

"Well now that cha put it that way.... Sure ya can come.!" says the now enthused Applejack. "Just let me grabbed a couple of things before we get started."

After a couple of minutes of preparing we stood in front of Applejack's house ready. Applejack was fully equipped with a harness attached to a small crate on wheels carrying apples, while I just carried a normal bucket full of apples.

"Ya ready?" Applejack asked

"Born." I assured

Isn't it ironic to time time off work to do more work?.

Nope.

With that, Applejack and Me made our way down to the neighborhoods of Ponyville.

"Okay Stan this is it! The first step on our road to living the life of the Apple family!" Applejack lectures as we walk up to our first customer "Just follow my lead."

Applejack proceeds to knock on the front door awaiting for the home owner to open it

"Hello?" A dark green stallion with a yellow mane asks as he opened the door

"Good afternoon sir, could we interest you in some apples?" Applejack offers

"Apples? Did you say, Apples?!" the stallion questions

"Yes sir. With or without seeds?" I interject

Wait hold up, this sounds like...

"Apples? APPLES! APPLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!" the stallion suddenly shouted in rage as his eyes reddened. then BOOM! He instantly bucks the shit out of me out of nowhere!

"What the fuck man!" I yelled in pain from the sudden sort to violence

"I. Hate. Apples." the stallion announced with each angry breath

POW! Again out of nowhere, Applejack bucks the shit out of the stallion for his actions.

"How dare ya talk bad about my apples!" Applejack yelled

"Because i'm allergic!" the now grounded stallion cries in defeat

"Oh, Whoops! Sorry.." Applejack apologized

"OH GAWD, my fucking ribs!" I added, still in pain might I add

"Well why in tarnation did you buck my friend, Stan" Applejack also questions

"I have muscle spasms whenever i'm around apples!" the stallion cried

Bullshit.

"I could call the authorities ya know!" the stallion protested

"You don't have to do that. All we have to do is sit down and negoti- RUN!" Applejack screamed in hurry as she tosses me on the cart of apples and bolted away.

"I will get you crazy kids!" the grounded stallion screamed from a distance as we left.

"Okay, the first guy didn't count. This is our REAL first step!" Applejack assures me

"I really hope so, my ribs are killing me!" I complained

With that, Applejack knocked on the door to reveal our next customer. Who happened to be a mare with two tones of blue in her mane, and a music note as a......'cutie mark'? She also had shades on indoors, but I didn't question it.

"Oh, Hiya there Vinyl!" Applejack greeted the mare by name. "Would ya like to purchase an apple today?"

"Sure, can it wub?" Vinyl questioned Applejack

"Can it.....wut?" I replied in confusion at the feature she wanted......for an APPLE

"Um, I'm not sure what that means exactly, But you can 'eat' it though." Applejack added

"WHAT?! You don't know what a wub is?" Vinyl gasp in shock, while she anonymously brings out a giant speaker right in front of us

What the?

ZIPPITY ZOW ZIPPITY ZEW WUBWUBWUBWUBWUB!!! Noises began to play upon the speakers blowing me and Applejack a great distance. As Vinyl gets on top of it and bops her head.

WHAT IS THIS SKRILLEX COVERED NONSENSE?

"UGH! I hate it when she gets like this!" Applejack yelled to me, cuffing her ears

"She does this more than once?!" I questioned

"Yeah! But we should really get going before we go deaf!" Applejack concluded as we bolted off again from yet another house

"Hey, Where'd you guys go? You didn't even get to hear the beat drop." Vinyl scratch her head in confusion

As the afternoon sun begun to rise as we walked, Applejack started to come into realization.

"We're not doing so well, Stan." Applejack huffs "Applebloom would've sold dozens of apples by now!"

"Well that last customer certainly didn't help" I replied "Maybe we need to be more assertive."

"I expected Octavia to answer the door this time, because the same thing happened the last time I was there."

"Who?"

"Uh nevermind....But what we need a new approach, a new tactic."

"BOOM, I got it, Let's get naked!" I said with enthusiasm for some reason. After that, a strong silence crossed us both as we stopped in our tracks.

"Uh, Stan. I'm already naked." Applejack said, breaking the silence between us. "But that's not a bad idea for when we sell cider. But there has to be something!

"We can always lie."

"Stan, I'm the element of honesty, I can't lie."

"Rats!" I snapped from how awesome my idea could've been.

"Well there was this one method Granny Smith uses to get frequent sells."

"Throwing the product at them?"

"No silly, Getting to know the customer and making them feel good."

"Hey, that's not a bad idea. It always works for the drug sellsman in my world." I agreed upon the idea. "Let's get started at the next house."

Applejack proceeds to knock on the new house door, as we prepare our motive.

"Alright this time we'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up and you come in for the kill!" Applejack whispers to me

"The Kill!" I replied with confidence. The door slowly opened to reveal a tangerine colored elder pony mare who used a walker to stand.

Oh, You're gonna go in for the kill alright.

"Yes?" The elder mare answers

"Hello, young lady." Applejack says with a wink towards me. Which I replied with a thumbs up "We're selling apples. Is your mother home?"

"Mom!" the elder mare calls out to the back

"What, what, what's all the yelling?" Suddenly an even elderly dry pink mare comes from the back of the house in a wheelchair to greet us. "You just can't wait for me to DIE, can you?" the even elderly mare screamed out

"They're selling apples." the elder tells the even elderly mare

"Apples?" the even elderly mare replies

"Yeah!"

"What, what are they selling?"

"Apples!"

"What?"

"APPLES!"

"I can't hear you!"

"THEY'RE SELLING APPLES!!"

"They're selling apples?"

"YEAH!!"

"Apples. I remember when they first invented apples."

"Wait hold up, you do?" I said in surprised

"Sweet, juicy apples.... I always hated it!" the even elderly mare continued

"Oh, but these apples aren't for eating. It's for..." Applejack said with nervousness. At that exact moment, I knew what had to be done. Applejack may not be able to lie, but 'I' sure can.

"It's for throwing them at fillies, and it makes them get off your lawn." I quickly inserted, finishing Applejack's sentence.

"Oh, well in that case, give me a whole bucket!" the even elderly mare says in satisfaction

"Uh okay, that'll be 25 bits ma'am" Applejack offers

"25 BITS? for apples!" the elder mare replied astonished by the pricing

"Aw, don't be so cheap Mary, just pay the young mare." the even elderly mare yelled towards the other. Which convinced the purchase to be final. "What are you waiting for you lazy Mary, start pelting those fillies with them apples." the even elderly mare gripped from inside the house.

"I hate you." said Mary as she slams the door. But long story short, we finally got a sale under our belts! And it's only..... The AFTERNOON!

"Well, I guess one sell is better then nothin'" Applejack sighed as we walked away from the customers house.

"I really don't see how Applebloom would excel at this when she does it." I said, complimenting the fillies effort

"Well she does have her friends with her whenever she sells, so i'm pretty sure they torment them with a little routine or sumthin' just to get them to buy a few."

"Haha, you're probably right. But we should start heading back towards the farm, I think this is all we're gonna get today."

"Yeah, lets get going. I wouldn't want to keep ya anyway."

As we walked closer towards the barn (25 bits in hand/hoove), we came to realize how disappointed Granny Smith might be over the lack of sells we gotten today.

"This may be bad." Applejack worries

"Huh?" I question with concern

"It's just that, Applebloom is usually sold out of apples by this time. And all we sold was one bucket."

"At least we sold 'something'. I'm pretty sure Granny Smith will understand, what's the worst that could happen?"

"I guess you're right." Applejack concluded. We were soon at the front door of her home, awaiting the events that are soon to come. Applejack slowly turned the door knob and we slowly walked inside. Applebloom was sitting at the dinner table enjoying herself a pie, while Granny Smith stirred a pot at the stove.

"Oh Hiya Stanley!" Applebloom cheered. This then got the attention of Granny Smith.

"What's up Applebloom, Hey Granny Smith. How's it going?" I greeted the two.

"Everything's fine and dandy!" Granny Smith said. "How was the sells today?" Upon asking the question, Applejack and I became frozen

"Yeah! Did ya end up selling more than me?" Applebloom asked, adding on pressure

We-We only sold a bucket..." Applejack finally confessed after a minute of silence.

"Hm, well it must've been a slow day, better luck next time dearie." Granny Smith said, understanding the situation that might've occurred.

And boom just like that everything was fine. Applejack felt silly after all the worrying she did, and we all ended up eating Granny Smith's pot mush afterwards. We had long conversations at the dinner table about our little adventure attempting to sell apples around the town. Granny Smith found it hysterical after all the bad luck we were put through. I also told the story of the first day I arrived to this world, and the first time I ran into Applejack: And how getting back to my home world is currently a hassle. I really felt like I was growing closer to Applejack and her family as we talked, this could mean something for the two of us if I play my cards right.

Oh, Brother.

Applebloom ended up heading to bed after awhile, so I'm starting to think that's my cue to head out as well.

"I think it's about time I should be going." I announced to Applejack and Granny Smith.

"Oh, Alright now. Be sure to get home safely, it's pretty dark out there." Granny Smith advised

"I'm sure i'll be fine." I replied

"Oh, thanks Stan... for everything." Applejack said walking towards me. "I know you could've been doing something better with your time instead of working with me." She then held me for a tight embrace. "I just want ya to know I appreciate that." she concluded, letting go of the hug.

Flabbergasted after the event that past, I finally decided to say something real smooth.

"YeAh WeLL, No pRObleM." I replied with the most pre-pubescent voice due to nervousness.

As Applejack chuckled at he voice, I made the quick decision to bolt out the door while I still had me dignity.

"Goodnight, Stan!" I overheard Applejack in the distance as I rushed out.

We need to talk.

About what?

About Equestria.

What about it?

You're getting to attached. You're making friends, you're getting jobs. You're doing favors. And you're in love.

And you're point is?

By this rate, do you still think you want to leave this place.

Um, Uh. I'll be fine. I'm not 'that' attached.

You continue to live in a house with a horse that only says one thing. No sane person could put up with this.

When the time comes i'm sure I would still prefer it in my world. I'm in college, I can't just flake out on that now.

Yeah, We'll see...

After that long conversation with myself, I was soon at my front door. But the weird thing is that it's dark, and the lights inside the house were off. I'm sure Nuts doesn't sell ice cream to fillies at midnight, that's registered sex offender status.

I opened he door to reveal complete darkness. Flipping the light switch to show no one was existent in the room. I can now confirm that Nuts isn't here. But if he isn't here, were else could he be?..... But seriously I could give less than two shits about him, all I know is that I got the house to myself for awhile.

The whole house.
By Myself.
ME GUSTA.

Chapter 15: Sprinkles

The whole house.
By Myself.
ME GUSTA.

At times like this in my current situation, I really wish I had my Ipod to play "Old Time Rock and Roll" while sliding in my socks through the living room. This is my moment of freedom in this world. I'm on vacation from work, Nuts is off my back. I'm not getting hurt every 5 seconds. Yep, everything's coming up Milhouse from here!

As I score on a gallon ton of ice cream on the couch, I was watching this show called "Stallion Universe". All I can really explain from the show is that the main character is suppose to be his own mom or something, funny concept though.

"Ahahahaha, oh stallion.", I chuckled, ice cream drunk at the show. "I'm eating way too many of these." I added as a audible burp escapes my mouth.

Nice one.

Thanks!

Ya know, I think had this place all wrong.

Told ya.

I guess it just goes to show that I need to listen to you more oft--

Hey what's wrong?

Br-br-br

Huh?

Coursing pain begun to travel to my head upon thought.......I soon knew exactly what was happening.

Br-br-br BRAIN FREEZE!!!

I immediately grabbed my head as it began to throb with the agony freezing sensation. Flipping over the couch in pain I was soon twisting and turning all around the living room during the whole ordeal. Knocking down furniture, decorations, and pictures. I was getting my feet stuck in empty ice cream bins and falling everywhere. The whole event came to a end with a big THUD to the floor after knocking my self unconscious tripping over the coffee table. I then began to black out, vision slowly getting blurry with full darkness.

"Woah, what a rush!" Was the last words I uttered before submitting.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moments later after Stan's........adventure.

Nuts was at the front door of his manor, but he was not alone.

"Wow Nuts, I really can't remember the last time ever seen your house. Hopefully it hasn't changed a bit!" The stranger speaks, as Nuts continues to reply with.

"Hey."

As the unaware stallion began to open the door to his humble abode, He starts to see the figure of his human roommate on the ground. Confused by this sight, he continues to look at his roommates surroundings which consists of broken furniture, glass, and empty ice cream bins. After seeing such a sight in his own home, nothing but unholiness was soon to set ablaze.

"HEY!" Nuts scream in fury, scaring his guest and waking his roommate in the process.

"I'm up, I'm up." the roommate gets up, unaware of the trouble that is to come. As Nuts charges furiously towards him in a rage that could pierce the heavens. He was soon stopped by the stranger he invited.

"Nuts WAIT! Give him a chance, maybe he didn't mean it." The stranger pleaded to the stallion, which actually did calm him down a bit. "Deep breaths, brother. Deep breaths." She continued.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

BROTHER!?!?!

The sheer sound of the name made me conscious in an instant. I don't remember much of how I got UNconscious in the first place, but it was probably funny.

I looked up to see a furious Nuts in my face, with daggers in his eyes and heavy upon his breath.

"Oh hey Nuts, where ya been?" I say in a nonchalant tone, unaware of his state.

*SLAP*

Suddenly I was stricken by a stranger behind him unexpectedly.

"What's the matter with you! Can't you see what you have done?" The familiar looking mare spoke upon slapping me. I really can't place where i've seen her, but I know it wasn't in person.

"OW! What did I do?" I screeched upon the blow.

*LIGHT BULB

This is that one mare I saw in the photo me in Nuts dropped!

Sprinkles was her name if I remember correctly. Things are actually starting to add up now, Nuts wasn't pointing to the upstairs bed room for me to sleep in there. He must've been pointing there to tell me that a guest was arriving. His Sister. Sprinkles... I feel like butt...

"What did you do?! You trashed the whole place! " Sprinkles continued to answer my question. "Look I know Nuts can be a pain, but that doesn't mean he deserves something like this."

"Sorry Sprinkles, Things just got outta hand is all." I apologized to the newly met mare. Stunned by what i've said, she proceeded to respond with-

"H-How did you know my name, I didn't even introduce myself yet."

"Well it's a long story actually, I probably wouldn't've never known who you was if Me & Nuts hadn't broke that picture. I originally thought you was his "Mare" friend."

(You saw what I did there?)

Um, that's probably an actual term here...

"Marefriend? Haha, He WISHES he had a marefriend, especially with his advanced speaking skills." She teases her brother

"HEY!" responded the already heated stallion. "HEY, HEY, HEY!" he continue to shout at me while pointing at the messes.

"I'm pretty sure that means, Clean this mess." Sprinkles translated

Wait, She understands him?

"Wait, you understand him?"

"Of course I do, I AM his sister after all."

Nuts then tossed me some cleaning supplies and headed towards the front door.

"Leaving so soon?" I asked

"Of course, The ice cream stand isn't gonna run itself ya know." Sprinkles responded to the question I asked Nuts

"And you're going too?"

"Nah, I have to unpack 'n' junk. Nuts gots this though, this wouldn't be the first time he worked without me."

"Without you?"

"Yeah, Me and Nuts used to run the stand together before I moved."

"But why didn't Nuts tell me-.." I started to asked...... before coming to realization of the question. Sprinkles had herself a little chuckle at my pause while Nuts headed out the door, still in fumes.

"Woah, you've really done it this time." Sprinkles teased. "Whenever Nuts leaves mad to work, it's usually not a good day for the fillies & colts."

"Ouch, I guess did slip up a bit here." I admitted in guilt

"Oh come on now, it's not that bad actually. I could help out while we get to know each other."

"Wow that's awfully kind, But excuse me as I adjust to nice behavior in your brothers home."

Sprinkles continued to laughed upon the joke while she grabbed a broom with her mouth. Which, I guess can..... work.

"So what's you and Nuts' last name?" I asked as I started to sweep as well.

"It's "Ice Cream" silly." She responded "You mean to tell me that this whole time you stayed here, you NEVER knew his last name?"

"Well Celestia told me once, but I thought it was for shits and giggles."

"You do know that this is Equestria right? Pretty much 90% of names here sound like that.

"Hehe, Your right about that one."

"Now tell me a little about yourself, Stan. I've heard lots of news about you going around ya know. I think I even saw you at Manehatten at one point...... doing magic?

"Nah,That was just me aiding this mare named Trixe with her magic. I'm just her puppet really."

"Haha, Wow! And you're a human? How did you get to our world exactly?"

"A time machine."

"What?"

"It's long story, really"

"I'll take your word for it."

"Well, what about you. What the story of "Sprinkles" the mare?"

"WHERE DO I START! I'm 22 years old, Nuts is 25 by the way, and we both grew up here in Ponyville. Nuts & I both got our cutie marks at the same time over arguing about our favorite Ice cream topping, mines being sprinkles while his was nuts. Which ended up being ironic as we both shared the same name as the topping we adored, a bit of a convenience at that. Our mom and dad passed down the legacy of the "Ice Cream" name by letting Me & Nuts run there traditional ice cream stand once we were older. They soon left to Vanhoover leaving me and my brother to watch the stand on our own. 'Disagreements' were made between us, and I ended up leaving too Manehatten. Now I have my own ice cream shop there, while Nuts has his own here."

"Wait a minute..... Nuts is older than me?" I responded to the story as if that's the only part I heard.

"Haha, I guess so. But yeah, Every year or so I like to come back here and reminisce on the adventures me and him used to have before our fallout."

"Well everything makes sense now at least." I said as I finished sweeping the rest of the mess. "I have to say, your sweeping is pretty incredible."

Upon saying, Sprinkles hasn't realized shes been standing on her hind legs the entire time of sweeping. She notices herself and immediately stops out of shyness. We both ended up sharing a laugh and continued to talked.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Night falls as Me & Sprinkles continue to be social, but our tales soon came to a screeching halt as Nuts breeches through the door.

"Hey!" Nuts says upon entering

"Yes we cleaned everything." Sprinkles responds to his out burst.

"heyyy."

"Yeah, I know. But he's actually a good guy once you get to know him."

"Hey! What did he say about me?" I asked Sprinkles. "Why I outta!"

"Oh, nothing bad exactly, he just told me not to talk to you while I was here because you're a 'bad guy'." Sprinkles answered. "But obviously he was wrong...... besides the home wreckage of course."

"Hey!" Nuts protests

"Oh calm down you two! Does anyone have any suggestions on dinner?" Sprinkles butted in.

"I'd eat anything really, but this is Nuts' house, and you are the guest here." I said

"How bout you Nuts?"

"Ehh." Nuts exclaims while shrugging his shoulders.

That is legit the most different thing i've heard him say.

"Well how about ice cream?" Sprinkles asked

"A little cliche, but I'll probably manage a little bit more ice cream in my system."

Suddenly, a built of rage was brought to a certain one phrase stallion. I couldn't really pin point it, but he was mad about something...

"HEY!" Nuts shouted to Sprinkles

"Oh not this again. You KNOW that's the way I make it!" Sprinkles shouted back

"Hey!"

"Well then, YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN ICE CREAM!"

"Hey. HEY!"

"Um, is there something I can help with here?" I awkwardly asked. But that was merely a mistake based on the glares I received upon asking. "Nevermind then..."

So I just grabbed some popcorn and hoped for the best to play out.

Soon enough, back and forward the two went. Blasting vulgar terms, (which i'm just guessing for Nuts' sake) doing rude gestures, (without any fingers) and last but not least the general 'I Hate Yous' where in order. But when all was said and done, they both marched to separate rooms upstairs and slammed the doors shut.

Put in an awkward position, I stood there on the couch in quiet for a couple of seconds before coming in to realization about something.

"Does this mean i'm not getting the guest room!?" I yelled in question.

Chapter 8: Ride the Rainbow, Taste the Rainbow

Upon waking up from what seemed like a quick nap, It was morning. And I realized I was sitting by someone...or some..."pony". I found it weird nonetheless for animals in this place.... finding it okay to sit by another sleeping unknown species. So I got up a little more off the bench to examine the horse some more, before I gave it a lecture about "privacy".

As I came to open my half sleepy eyes, my visuals is gazed upon a green-blue color coat mare with a light green-blue and white mane. It was like she was staring into my soul with her tangelo eyes, waiting to ask me something. But we just stood there, looking at each other like some kind of still mirror.

"Um, Do you need something?" I finally said, breaking the barrier of awkward silence we had. And what made things even more awkward then it had to be, was that this horse was sitting just like I was, like mimicking the form and everything, she was just kinda slouching though......It looked weird from my point of view.

"Oh, uh sorry......um I..." the mare stuttered, starting to shaking with fear, but the look in her eyes was like she wanted to ask a question.

"Are you okay?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Are you- a.........Human?!" she finally asked with more enthusiasm. You should've saw the reaction on my face towards the question. A mare.....knew who my race was.....she probably knew how to get me home. I got so excited.

"Y-Yes, yes I am!" I said with enthusiasm of my own.

"Ohmygosh, Ohmygosh, Ohmygosh, Ohmygosh! I have so many questions to ask you." the mare said excitedly. She seemed very curious about my species. And I wasn't going to let her down, I guess I can answer a few questions.

"Go ahead! Ask away." I simply said, gearing up for the mares curiosity.

"Okay, Thank you so much by the way. This will be so good for my research!" she continued. "What do you eat? How do you sleep? Hows life in your eyes? What's under your clothes? How many bones do you have?" Her questions kept coming and coming nonstop, and all I simply did was nod my head in agreement to everything she asked. It was then I realized that she finally stop after she asked a question about hair in.....certain places.

"Oh, Well.....You sure do want to know a lot." I told her after she finished her little survey.

"Oh, Yes indeed!" she said with glee and a sly smile. I was kinda stunned by all the questions, I even forgot some. I felt pretty bad that I couldn't answer them all. So I gave her my final draft on human life.

"Um well basically.....We eat, We sleep, We grow up, We fuck, We die." was all I said with the most stable tone I could. It was then the scene grown quiet for a few seconds. The mare's eyebrow raised at the answers she got. Then she finally spoke...

"Fuck? What does that mean exactly?" she asked curiously, over the word she never heard before. I suddenly froze over, struggling to give a honest response.

"Um....Well....It's, ya know....What you do when....you really l-love someone..." I nervously said, with my eyes shifting up and down the mare's body, trying to make her understand the message I was going for. She eventually got it, and well...

"OH! Well t-that's.....interesting to know." she said blushing incredibly hard after realizing the "term". "Well your species seems....different." she continued trying to avoid the.... awkward inconvenience.

"Yea, And I'll be happy to tell you more, if you'd know how to help me that is." I happily implied.

"Help?" the mare questioned.

"Well yea, I'm trying to get back to my world.....And I was wondering if you could take me there, because you knew my species and all.." I told the mare. But she just cocked her head in confusion at the request.

"Your world....Where's that?" she finally spoke, unaware of my situation.

Dude, your obviously not going to get any help from this mare anytime soon. I'd rather get help from that Princess Celestia horse, then sit here answering questions.

Yeah, Your probably right Brain. She probably knows how to get there faster though.

"Hey you." I said to the mare as I rose from the bench.

"Oh, It's Lyra Heartstrings, Mister." she assured me of her name.

"Oh, Then i'm Stan." I said, revealing my name also. "Do you know how to get to Princess Celestia faster from here?" I continued as I questioned the mare.

"Well-, I could fly you there if I had wings, but..... I don't. Other than that, I don't know what to tell you. Unless you have a train ticket." Lyra said, revealing that there's no alternative way of getting there..

"Oh that's just great, looks like I have to continue on foot." I muttered, beginning to walk away. Man if only she could fly, this would be a whole lot easier for me. Maybe I could go back to Fluttershy's and ask for a ride, last I recall she had wings. But then again.....she does flutter.....and she is shy......that won't work out very well.

"WAIT!" I heard the Lyra yell as I started to walk away. "Will I ever see you again? I still have a majority of questions I must ask about you." she continued with concern in her voice. I found it kinda cute that the mare stopped me in my tracks, who knows I might just bump into her later on...

"Sure you'll see me again! Probably in the next 4 chapters or so." I assured the horse. I then continued on my way, as the mare waved me off.

Continuing my way towards "god knows where", I started to get......hungry. No seriously, I didn't eat breakfast or anything from last night, so i'm pretty much starving right now. As I kept walking, A mountain the royal castle sat on came into view.

"Thank God!" I said to myself holding my stomach. "I'm getting pretty close".

How are you going to scale a mountain all by yourself genius?

Almost on cue of the thought, I saw a colorful winged mare soaring though the skies with incredible speed. I was quite certain it was Rainbow Dash, but I wasn't really sure because the horse was going at blinding speed.

"Holy shit she's fast!" I thought to myself watching the mare at work. "And she has wings....hmmmmm." I also thought tp myself, realizing the pegasus abilities. The mare then started to slow down after flying in loops, and headed towards the ground.

"Here's my chance to ask." I said to myself as I walked up to the rainbowed mare.

"HEY, SKITTLES HAIR!" I shouted towards the pegasus, who immediately jumped from the spot she rested, startled at my scream.

"Was that suppose to be an insult?" the mare said with a frustrated tone of voice, slowly flying towards me. I really shouldn't make her mad if I want her to do this favor.

"Um, No. Matter of fact..... it's considered a compliment where i'm from." I simply said to the mare, hoping she'll buy it.

"Oh..." said Rainbow Dash slightly blushing from the inconvenience.

Dude.....Nice save.

"But you didn't have to yell at me, ya know. I was just about rest up after some really tough flying exercises." continued the mare, with the returned frustrated tone.

"You know what... Your right, I'm sorry I interrupted your thing." I stated towards her in a settled voice.

"Ehh, It's alright. It wasn't anything important." the mare assured me with her normal voice. "Say? What brings you all the way out here anyway?" she continued as she laid on her hunches.

"That's exactly what I was about to ask you." I explained to the mare. "I'm trying to ask this Princess Celestia pony how to get back to my world."

"But Canterlot is all the way up on that mountain, how are you expecting to get there by yourself?"

"I was hoping.... I could....ride you there." I awkwardly said scratching my neck, not looking towards the mare in question. A cold hard silence then crept as the wind blew. I finally turned towards Rainbow Dash, she had her head cocked to the side in reaction. But finally blew...

"HAHAHAHAHAHA, You're kidding right. Ride me? What a joke!" she busted out rolling on the grass laughing. She obviously didn't take me seriously, but still I need to get there somehow.

"I'm Serious." I stated in my serious expression of face. She immediately stopped laughing and looked towards my reaction. She then started to smirk, as if she had a little idea of some sort.

"Tell you what "Lightweight". If you beat me in a race, I'll gladly fly you to Canterlot." the mare wagered. "But if you lose, you'll have to be my slave." she continued in a evil tone.

Race? You can barely run away from fat kids when you steal their candy. You might as well give up and scale that 1,000 foot mountain.

"Deal." I simply replied, with that challenge accept meme visioning in my head. I didn't give it much thought though, I mean racing a winged-horse was way beyond my level. But I also knew that getting out of this hell hole is worth it..... I guess. Then again their's the possibility of becoming a slave to Rainbow Dash.....Oh Gawd.

"Ready, Set, Go!" Rainbow Dash hurried and said as she rush off into the air. I just stood their amazed at the sight of speed the mare was going.

What made you think you had a chance against this winged-beast! Do you even think anymore....that's right you don't. BECAUSE YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! Now your going to be this horses slave and probably never get home. good going dumbass.

I simply resisted to listen to my brain as I focused on the flying pegasus doing loopy loops, and returning back to where the race has started. I gotta think fast, I can't just be enslaved by this pegasus.

At a quick thought, I moved slightly to the left from where the race had begun, and started to make my acting/lying skills come into play. Rainbow Dash soon returned to the starting line, exhausted.

"What took you so long?" I said with a cocky attitude, simulating that I finished the race first. And she fell for it....

"WHAT!" she hesitated for a moment realizing I was their. "How did you-" she continued, still heavily breathing.

"I'm pretty fast in my world, I guess i'm also fast in this world too." I said with confidence looking at my nails. The mare's jaw hit the ground hearing the statement.

You clever, clever shrew

"But...But I flew....I didn't even see you in the sky. You don't even have wings!" the mare still debated with unbelievable eyes.

"Um.... yea. That's how fast I am, I flashed into the sky with incredible speed and took over while gliding. I zoomed passed you in a heartbeat." I replied to the mare's concern. Her eye then started to twitch over hearing the outcome of events. Then she huffed down in defeat, unable to hide the feeling that she "lost"....hehe.

"Ughhh! Oh Alright..... A deal's a deal." she finally said with frustration under her voice. "Hop On."

Holy Crap! She bought it!

I made way towards the mares back with a smile on my face, ready to begin the adventure, until she abruptly stopped me to say...

"Just don't tell anybody I did this, okay?" she looked at me with desperate eyes.

"Sure thing Rainbow Dash!" I assured the mare.

"Also, Please don't scream or cheer while your on my back, this is already embarrassing as it is." the mare also pleaded

"Oh, come on. Why would I do that?" I assured the mare of any doubt. I then saddled her back with surprise that she could carry me, this was a pretty strong pony.

"Well, Here we go!" was the last thing the rainbow haired horse said as we lifted into the air.

"WOOO HOOO, HOLY SHIT!" I screamed excitedly as we were soaring through the air. "I FEEL LIKE I COULD TOUCH THE HEAVENS… AND SOCK ANGELS!”

"Hey, you promised you wouldn't scream or cheer." the pegasus snapped at me as we rode.

"Sorry, couldn't help it! This is just so freaking awesome.....Wooooooooooo!" I continued, raising my arms in the air as I cheered from amazement. The mare then rolled her eyes and continued her focus on flying. The castle came closer and closer into view as we rode, it was a beautiful place with water falls and royal shit like that. Rainbow Dash finally spoke as we were making our way.

"Hey?" Rainbow Dash questioned.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"If you were able to go that fast into air...... How come you didn't do that to get to Canterlot in the first place?" she continued with a concerned raised eyebrow. I instantly froze over the question, I guess what my mom told me was true, lies always come and bite back. I need to think fast...

"Oh..uh, um. Excellent question Rainbow Dash. Um I wasn't very sure...about....how my speed...would react in this world....so I tested it out on that little race we had. Now pretty i'm worn out, I wont be doing that again anytime soon.." I said with my eyes shifting back and forth, hoping she'll buy it.

"Mmmm Hmmm.." she simply replied, continuing to fly.

"Phew." is what I thought, hoping I was in the clear. We kept flying onward as usual, almost reaching the destination. My stomach was still acting up, and Rainbow Dash's mane kept hitting me in the face. By this time, the trip became annoying, mentally.

"I wonder if her hair.... tastes like skittles...?" my hunger thought for me, as I gazed at the mane. It was already floating towards my face anyway....so why not give it a try? I slowly opened my mouth so the mane could enter, and started to softly chew. At this point everything was going in slow motion. Like my hunger just overtaken my mind as I chewed.......That shit wasn't skittles, at all...

"Oh gees, what the fuck!" I said finally coming into consciousness, constantly spitting up the bad taste.

"Woah, Woah! What's going on back there?" said the pegasus starting to swerve from the spitting.

"NOTHING, nothing.... I just swallowed a bug that's all." I quickly replied to the mare, disregarding any inconvenience. I was very surprised she didn't notice me chewing on her mane, she must have some heavy concentration skills on her flying or something.

"So are we there yet." I continued quickly changing the subject.

"Actually yea, We are." Rainbow Dash stated as we landed in front of Canterlot castle. The castle itself was an amazing site, I couldn't believe how big it was.

"Woooooooow" was the only thing to escape my lips as I got off the pegasus.

"Yeah I know, it's pretty amazing, but it would be 20% cooler though if it was light blue, with hot rod flames!" Rainbow Dash included as I got off. I'm guessing some 'Thank You's' are in order now?

"Thanks Rainbow Dash, It was so swag of you to bring me here." I said towards the light blue mare.

"Swag?"

"It's like another word for "Cool" or "Awesome". " I explained to her

"Oh, Cool.....I mean "Swag" hehe." she intentionally said, understanding the meaning.

"I know we got off on the wrong foot last time we met, but you really are a cool pony." I continued as I raised my fist out for a bump. She did so, and blushed a little at the gesture.

"It was no problem, I like helping those in need anyway." she uttered with pride. I raised my eyebrow at that statement, remembering that if I lost the race, I would have to be her slave. We both started to go in opposite directions until I was stopped...

"Oh, and Stan?" I heard the distant Rainbow Dash call. I quickly looked towards the direction as she continued. "I knew you didn't race, I didn't even see you take off, you just stood there. Plus you couldn't even run that fast from Big Mac, so I knew you were lying from the start." the mare finally finished. I stood there frozen unable to say a word about being caught.

Oh Shit, she knew the whole time. That's a pretty smart-ass horse.

"Ummmmm" was all I could utter from the statement.

"Haha. Hope to see ya again Stan!" she winked, as she flew off in the opposite direction.

"I guess she does like helping those in need." I finally said becoming un-stunned from the event. I then slowly turned back around towards the castle. "Well, here goes everything." I thought as I walked towards royalty...

Author's Note

I never realized how cringe the ending of this chapter was until I read it.