Miniluv 404

by Saffron Panther

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Doctor Whooves, Sad, Romance, Original Character, Derpy Hooves
Length: 4016

Derpy becomes an unwilling Patient in the Equestrian Ministry of Love, where she is promised help but everything else suggests otherwise..

Author's Note: This is not a 1984 crossover, but is meant to be an allusion to the work. So there's no Big Brother or anything, merely a name and element reference. Inspired by the "Save Derpy" media, this is an experimental story about what it'd be like if such an attempt at censoring her occurred in-verse. Rest assured, this is not a Derpy-bashing narrative.

Derpy Hooves has been taken into custody and made an unwilling Patient within The Equestrian Ministry of Love where she is taken for "care". There, she meets Time Turner who promises to provide her help within the facility. She also works to uncover more about Hoofler's associates and their treatments while looking for a way to counteract the spell used to disable her wings. With Time Turner and other allies on the inside, she will soon make her escape.

I'm sorry. For right now, this fic is on hiatus due to complications with the plot and heavy writer's block on this particular tale. I seriously do not want it to die but I am getting nowhere with it. So nothing until further notice...hopefully.

Published 2013-01-08 04:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-08 04:30:01 UTC

What Did I Do Wrong?

The dawning sunlight breaks over her fur, gently warming her skin and lifting her from sleep. With a slight misstep, the gray Pegasus lifts herself from her bed and stretches her wings. Her soft golden eyes spin a little, one pupil perched a little higher than the other one staring directly ahead of her. Taking one look outside the window at the idyllic scene that was this part of Equestria, she readies herself for the day.

Her forehoof gets entangled in the slipped comforter and she stumbles forward, landing mouth-first on the floor. The Pegasus lets out a cute little laugh and gets to her legs, shaking the comforter off. Brushing some of her blonde mane from her face, she turns to make her bed. Well, make it better than usual. Nothing like a little neatness.

Her mailbag with the emblem of her cutie mark’s bubbles over a pearl white envelope hangs in the kitchen near the cupboards holding their goodies and supplies inside. The Pegasus hovers to reach the handle and pull it open between her teeth. Rather excitedly, she reaches inside and pulls out a small plastic-wrapped box and sets it on the counter, taking care not to knock over any of the other boxes.

The Pegasus rests her back legs onto the floor as she positions herself to open the box. For a second, she glances at the pink sheet taped to the box, returning a smile to the illustration of Pinkie Pie’s head with the speech balloon reading HOPE YOU ENJOY, FRIEND. She carefully leans down and peels away a bit more of the plastic layer with her teeth, revealing the fresh contents within. She selects a blueberry-crowned muffin from the bunch.

But before she can take the first bite of the delectable baked good, a letter slides through the mail slot of her door.

Frowning a bit, the Pegasus gently places the muffin back into the box and turns her attention to the letter resting near her door. Holding it between her hooves, she moves back to the counter and looks to her mailbag. From one pouch, she retrieves a small letter opener and carefully guides it across the envelope’s top with her teeth. Despite her relative clumsiness, she handles it well.

The letter smells of sharp, sterile cleansers as she pulls it from the envelope, making her nose crinkle a bit. Putting the envelope aside

Attention: Miss Ditzy Doo “Derpy” Hooves

We have been notified of your recent activities and have been observing you for some time. We feel that it would be in everypony’s best interest if you would spend some time within our facility, The Equestrian Ministry of Love (Miniluv). We have observed your rather self-destructive habit of crashing during your mail routes. Thus, we feel that it would be to your advantage if you came with us this afternoon, so that we may help you recover. Think of it as a hospital stay. Rest assured, we have a mailpony to fill in during your absence. So please meet with our associates who will escort you to our facility later this afternoon. We hope that you will make a quick recovery.

Regards to you,
Hoofler, Executive Officer of The Equestrian Ministry of Love

Derpy raises an eyebrow, her smile starting to die a bit as she rereads the letter. The smile returns when she shrugs and casts the letter aside. The Pegasus excitedly returns to her muffin and takes the first bite, relishing the taste of fresh hoof-picked blueberries. The letter’s message vanishes from her mind as she devours another muffin, taking a second or so to lick the stray blueberry juice from her hooves.

I’ll make sure to thank Pinkie Pie next time I’m ‘round Sugarcube Corner, she thinks. She always makes the best muffins.

Slipping the mailbag over her side and stowing the letter opener back into its pouch, Derpy stretches her forelegs one more time and walks out the door. Her unaligned golden eyes take a moment to observe the daily awe of Celestia’s sun rising from the mountains so far away. Somepony should tell Princess Celestia that she makes the best sunrises, Derpy notes to herself as she begins her takeoff run.

Her forehooves nearly trip but she manages to kick them upward with well-timed movements of her back legs. Derpy’s wings spread and she takes off into the sky with the warm sunlight brushing over her once more. The mailbag shakes back and forth along her side a bit as she moves up. She’d have to get to the post office in Ponyville soon, but she figures she can enjoy herself a bit-

Derpy shifts to the side as a single shot of green energy fires at her, grabbing for the mailbag. The Pegasus panics and tries to go higher when another green shot strikes her directly in the torso. She grunts in pain as her wings tense to keep her in the air.

Another shot strikes her in the same spot, causing her wings to shake and crumple around her. Hooves kicking wildly, Derpy begins to descend. In another instance, somepony might see this and believe it was Derpy being Derpy with yet another of her crash landings. Yet, the Pegasus closes her eyes and cries when she crashes directly into a nearby tree. The small branches scratch her skin and through her fur as she tumbles. Her mailbag hangs diligently until it snags on a rogue branch, causing Derpy to sway a bit from one branch like a filly in its rocking cradle.

As she opens her eyes, blurry images of two Pegasi and one unicorn manifest before her, dressed in dark blue uniforms. The unicorn leans forward, revealing cream-colored fur with a cobalt blue mane. His horn still glows a slight green color, matching his cutie mark of a green rope uncoiling itself on his flank.

“Just as we figured, she tried to make a run for it,” the closest Pegasus says, dark red fur with a blackbrown mane. “Just like Hoofler said she would.”

“Well, she’s not running anymore,” the other Pegasus, blue fur with a winedark mane, notes while raising a forehoof to examine her face. “Dear Celestia. I know Hoofler said she was weird looking, but I didn’t expect her to have eyes like that.”

“I dunno. Straighten out those eyes and she’s actually kinda cute,” the other Pegasus notes.

“Hush up, both of you,” the unicorn commands, using a green magic aura to cup Derpy’s chin so their eyes could somewhat meet. “Sorry that you were dim enough to think you could flee from us. Did you not read the letter?”

“Looking at those eyes, I doubt she could read,” the blue Pegasus snarks. “Makes me wonder why they’d give her a mail job with all that crashing crap she pulls.”

“Quiet, Sky Runner,” the unicorn snaps before turning his attention back to Derpy who tries to swing herself out of the tree. Her mailbag slips from her shoulder and flies directly into the unicorn’s face. As the unicorn tumbles backwards, Derpy stretches her wings and tries to fly over them. Sky Runner and the dark red Pegasus ready to fly after her when the unicorn regains his stance and motions for them to stay grounded.

Derpy’s mind panics. What did I do wrong? Why are they attacking me like this? What did I do wrong? Why are they saying all that mean stuff about me? Please, Celestia, make them go away. Please.

The gray Pegasus begins flying back in the direction of her home, not looking back to watch for any signs of the three attackers. Sadly, she does not get far when another shot of green energy collides with her back legs. Wincing with teary eyes, Derpy tries to escape when another shot strikes her in the back, right between her wings. Suddenly, the wings collapse around her and she begins to descend once more.

Sky Runner and the dark red Pegasus catch her in mid-air, keeping her entrapped between their forehooves. She struggles, kicking as best as she can before Sky Runner abruptly slaps her.

“Don’t make us have Flash disable your whole body,” Sky Runner growls. “Come quietly or it won’t just be your wings.”

The dark red Pegasus looks on more sympathetically as the two lower themselves to meet with Flash. The unicorn shakes his head disapprovingly, horn glowing a warning green aura as Derpy slackens.

“We got her, Flash,” Sky Runner shakes Derpy a bit as the gray Pegasus looks at them with teary eyes.

“Good work, Sky Runner and Sparkfire,” Flash Saver notes as he gestures for them to turn Derpy around. The two Pegasi nod and comply, showing the gray Pegasus’ disabled wings hanging uselessly at her sides. The telltale burn rests squarely between them in the magically-altered shape of two busted wings.

“Alright then. Sparkfire, go back to that tree and retrieve that bag. We can’t be too careful.”

Sparkfire nods and briefly looks over Derpy with a frown. He spreads his dark red wings and flies away from them back towards the crash site. Sky Runner shakes Derpy with a growl. “Don’t even think of running away.” The blonde Pegasus does not respond, instead just bowing her head. Flash Saver

“What did I do wrong?” she finally asks.

The unicorn gestures for Sky Runner to turn her back to face him. She notices he now has a kinder look on his face. “You did nothing wrong,” Flash Saver attempts to soothe her with a forehoof along her cheek. “We just want to help you. But we can’t do that if you’re trying to run away from us. You can understand that, right?”

“But…you hurt me…”

“Unfortunate, yes. But you left us no option, Miss Hooves,” Flash Saver notes while trying to maintain the kinder expression. “We have been ordered to take you in for immediate treatment. And you only complicated things.”

“But you said the afternoon?!” Derpy jabs her hoof at Flash Saver’s face, earning a rap to the back of the head from Sky Runner.

“So you did read the letter,” Flash Saver muses, holding one forehoof to his mouth. “Well, Hoofler sent us ahead to ensure that you did not try to flee, just as you did in fact attempt to do.”

“Um, Flash, I think she was simply going for her mail run,” Sparkfire speaks up as he lands with the mail bag hanging from his side. He slides it off his torso and presents it to Flash Saver. The unicorn examines the mailbag in his hooves, glancing between the bubbles on Derpy’s flank and the ones designed over the envelope emblem.

“Yeah, this is nice and all but we have a job to do,” Sky Runner interrupts. “Flash, teleport us back to the facility. You might have drawn some attention with those cover-blowing shots of yours.”

The unicorn glares yet nevertheless complies. “Very well. Stick together then.”

Derpy tries to make her wings expand, anything to help escape these ponies and go home where maybe she can hide, make it all end. Her wings still hang uselessly at her sides, her back suddenly feeling very numb save for the burn which stung against the open air.

Flash Saver begins the teleportation spell, casting a magnificent green aura around all four of them. Derpy looks up, curious at the sudden change as the familiar image of the grass and Celestia’s sun-nurturing sky vanish in a haze of sharp jade green. Her stomach cramps and she clamps her mouth shut, trying to hold back the urge to vomit. She glances up at Sky Runner who grins at her, as if amused by her sorry state.

I hate you, Derpy thinks.

The jade haze dissolves as Celestia’s sun-nurtured sky returns with a new scene in place. Derpy looks about her until her eyes meet with the image of the silver building ahead lined with concrete paths leading to its marble-touched entrance. To the left, she glimpses a stone wall lined with various cutie marks carved along a chain. Among them, she recognizes six familiar cutie marks placed over the entrance where it reads THE EQUESTRIAN MINISTRY OF LOVE.

Derpy’s ears fold back against her head and leans forward to let it out.

“Eww! Stupid bitch!” Sky Runner curses, jumping away to avoid the warm stomach acids splattering near his hooves.

Sparkfire glares and holds Derpy’s mane back as she finishes. He runs one forehoof down her back, taking care not to touch the burn. “It’s alright. Teleportation spells can have that effect on ponies.”

Flash Saver nods towards the entrance. “We’ll get her cleaned up inside. And go from there. I’m sure Hoofler will want to know we successfully detained her.”

Derpy considers running but falters, not knowing where she truly is or where she can run to or how to even get past them all. Instead, she weakly gets to her hooves and tries to withhold the urge to cry. The bitter bile taste in her mouth begins to sting, making her eyes well up with tears.

What did I do wrong?

Sparkfire keeps a forehoof on her back as he and Sky Runner escort her to the entrance, making sure it didn’t touch the burn or her disabled wing. Sky Runner stares ahead apathetically as Flash Saver approaches the two unicorn guards at the entrance. He levitates an ID from his Miniluv uniform and presents it to the guards. One of them nods, gesturing towards the three Pegasi behind him.

“Well, I can see why Hoofler wanted this one,” one of the guards observes Derpy’s eyes as Sparkfire and Sky Runner lead her over the stairs. “She looks damaged all right. Maybe Hoofler and the others can help her.”

“Don’t count on it,” Sky Runner retorts. “She crashes all over the place. She’s a lost cause.”

Sparkfire holds back a low growl in his throat. Derpy looks behind them once more as the doors slam shut.

The salt and pepper checkered floor seemingly stretches for miles ahead of them as Flash Saver leads the three Pegasi. Around her, Derpy notices several other ponies of various kinds gathering and watching her as she moves down. Some have eyes similar to hers, like an aqua-colored unicorn with pupils unaligned and an odd black ring around the base of her horn, while others seemed normal enough. But maybe they’re too clumsy for this Hoofler guy’s standards. Or maybe-

Derpy’s train of thought is cut off as Sky Runner tilts her head to face forward. “This isn’t a damn zoo, reject.”

Ahead, Flash Saver stops before a desk where a brown earth pony with a darker brown mane stands, looking over several papers scattered and half-submerged in files. Above him rest another THE EQUESTRIAN MINISTRY OF LOVE and a painted portrait of Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadance respectively, with Shining Armor and Gareth flanking their left and right. He glances up and falters a bit when he sees the gray Pegasus between the two Miniluv uniforms.

Derpy stares at the floor, seeing the checkered tiles and a bit of her blonde mane as it sinks over her right eye. She shakes it a bit and looks up, pausing when she sees Time Turner. Wait, I’ve seen him before. I think…isn’t that the guy who manages all the clocks in Ponyville?

“Time Turner, we have detained the next Patient after she attempted to run from the scene,” Flash Saver explains. “But not to worry, I have temporarily disabled her wings, so she shouldn’t be any trouble. We won’t be due for another escort until tomorrow, so we just need her designated Room and we’ll go from there.”

“Err, yes,” Time Turner nods. “We have an opening for her in Room 404. If you gentlecolts don’t mind, I’ll escort Miss Hooves. I have to meet up with a Patient in Room 432 anyway. Flash Saver, do you think you could manage the desk while I’m away?” The brown earth pony pulls a 404 tag before slipping from behind the desk.

“Understood and yes,” the cream-colored unicorn walks behind the desk as Time Turner makes his way towards Derpy. She bows her head, mentally questioning why somepony as nice as him would be working with the same unicorn that hurt her.

“Sky Runner, Sparkfire, you may return to your surveillance duties,” Time Turner directs them both to a corridor heading to the east. “I’ll see to it that Miss Hooves reaches her Room.”

“Whatever you say, Doc,” Sky Runner replies with a mock salute as he and Sparkfire begin walking towards the east corridor. “See ya later, reject.” The blue Pegasus waves mockingly towards Derpy, with Sparkfire giving one more concerned look.

“Well, shall we be going then?” Time Turner attempts to smile, but Derpy says nothing. “Come on, it won’t be so bad.”

The Pegasus doesn’t respond but follows Time Turner nonetheless as they make their way to the west corridor.

As they walk, the checkered tiles meld into a solid black and dark violent floor occasionally speckled with a reproduction of Princess Luna’s cutie mark. Time Turner walks ahead a bit and stops when he notices Derpy still needing to catch up. He begins walking again when the two are side by side.

“Now, don’t be too glum,” Time Turner attempts once more. “I know it looks really bad, but if you’re here, I’m sure it’s for some benefit. I mean, I have noticed you crashing a lot lately. And I did hear about your trashing of Ponyville Town Hall.”

The gray Pegasus looks up at him, leftover tears lining her eyes. “Why are you working with those bad ponies?”

Time Turner frowns, noticing the burn on her back and letting out a low sigh. “I admit that Flash Saver, Sky Runner, and Sparkfire were a bit…extreme in their methods, but I can assure you that nopony who works here is that rough twenty-four/seven. I apologize in advance for their unnecessary brutality, Miss Hooves.”

“Please, just call me Derpy.”

“Well, all right then, Derpy. I apologize on behalf of my colleagues.”

Derpy glares. “You still didn’t answer my question. Why would you be working with them?”

Time Turner lets out another sigh as the two near the hallway leading into Rooms 400-450. “It’s not a bad institution, Derpy. We are merely trying to help.” He notices the lingering bits of vomit around her mouth and extends a handkerchief from his uniform. The Pegasus wipes her mouth and, with a small “Blech”, gives it back to him.

“That’s a funny way of “helping”. They hurt me, Time Turner.”

“Again, it was completely unnecessary brute force at hoof. I apologize, but if you are indeed here, it is likely for your benefit,” Time Turner folds the handkerchief back into his uniform pocket.

Derpy looks about her, noticing the numbered doors passing them. Soon, 404 appears, black-painted against the metal door. A single slit-window rests above the 404, showing nothing but darkness through the glass.

“Well, Derpy, this is your Room. I hope that it will accommodate you well during your stay with us as a Patient. And don’t worry, I will be around to check on you. So you can be rest assured that you have one friend here in the facility.”

Derpy’s ears droop. “Thanks.”

Time Turner offers another sad smile. “Think nothing of it-”

Both ponies turn as a loud pan is slammed and dragged against the floor. Down the hallway, a tan with crème-maned earth pony swings the frying pan around in his mouth before dropping it to the floor.

“Monsters! Beasts! Your puny fortress cannot hold me!” Crème Mane yells, stepping one hoof into the pan. “I know you’re out there! I know you can hear me, you crap-for-brains!” He leans forward and clenches the pan handle between his teeth.

“Damn it,” Time Turner shakes his forehoof and looks over as two Miniluv personnel rush down the hall with batons suspended alongside them in magic auras.

Crème Mane continues swinging, further declarations and insults muffled by the thick wooden handle between his teeth. The two Miniluv guards ready to bring their batons down onto his skull when Crème Mane swings the frying pan directly into the side of one guard’s head. The struck falls down onto his side as the other brings the baton down onto the back of Crème Mane’s neck. The frying pan drops from his mouth, clanging over the tiles.

“Snake! Snake! Dirty, filthy snake!” Crème Mane yells as the guard leans down and pins the struggling earth pony to the floor. “Snake!”

“Smuggled this from the kitchens, did ya?” the sore-faced guard sneers and delivers a swift kick to his chest. “Stupid bastard. Which Room did you crawl out of?”

Crème Mane responds with a serpentine hiss and an angry glare, earning another swift kick to the gut. The sore-faced guard leans forward and inspects the tag around his neck reading 418. The two guards tuck their batons back into their uniform holsters and use their red and dark blue magic auras to restrain Crème Mane’s legs. Crème Mane shakes violently, trying to anchor himself to the floor with his teeth as the two guards carry him to the door marked 418. After a bit more shaking, Crème Mane is shoved inside.

Time Turner shakes his head. “A damn shame. He was making such great progress too. I wonder why he’s acting like this?” The earth pony remembers Derpy and turns to her, eyes briefly meeting as she shakes a bit. “I’m sorry you had to see that. Normally, the Patients here do not act in such an uncivilized manner, but sometimes we do get a few…erratic ones.”

Derpy nods, mouth still slightly agape.

“Right then,” Time Turner nods as the two guards pass, one levitating the frying pan along his side. He leans back into his Miniluv uniform and extracts a key with a 404 tag, sliding the key into the lock. The door swings inward, revealing a simple Room with a covered mattress, desk, and a single mirror against the other wall. Derpy looks inside and frowns.

Time Turner extracts the 404 tag from his uniform and gently sets it into place around Derpy’s neck. Derpy examines the tag with a raised forehoof. “My apologies about that as well. The tag is required, so all Miniluv staff will know you’re a Patient here at the facility. You must wear it at all times.”

She gives him a doubtful look.

“I promise, things will be all right,” Time Turner gently brushes the back of her neck. “In the meantime, just get comfortable. I’m sure you won’t be here long. Maybe just a day or two. And then you’ll be back into the world before you know it.” He offers another smile.

Derpy looks up and despite the striking pang in her chest, returns the smile. “Thanks, Time Turner. I guess I’ll be seeing you then, right?”

Time Turner nods. “Indeed. In the meantime, just make yourself at home. They’ll be serving lunch in another couple of hours, so if you wish to attend, please be prompt and follows the signs. And, if you need, err, “relief”, there is a comfort station down the hall. Now, I must be off to see another Patient. Take care, Derpy.” The brown earth pony vanishes as he pulls the door shut.

Derpy sighs, noticing the only source of light being what emanated from the hallway through the little slit. The gray Pegasus feels her wings brush against her as she walks towards the slit. Standing on her back legs, she moves up to glance into the hallway. She sees Time Turner returning a sad glance before shaking his head and walking out of her line of vision. Her forehoof brushes the 404 tag around her neck.

“What did I do wrong?” Derpy whispers, leaning her teary head against the padded wall of the door. “What did I do wrong?”