Princessy

by not plu

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Princess Luna
Length: 9174

My name is Celeste and I am eleven years old. I like sunshine and winter and glitter and cotton candy and fairy tales. I live with my little sister Luna and I am the queen of Equestria.

My name is Celeste and I am eleven years old. I like sunshine and winter and glitter and cotton candy and fairy tales. I live with my little sister Luna and I am the queen of Equestria. I’m not really the queen right now. I have to wait until I am fifteen years old. Luna and I are princesses and we get to dress up and run around the castle but sometimes I wish I was normal. Right now my uncle Dizzy is the king because my parents are dead.

Published 2013-01-08 06:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-29 02:40:44 UTC

Chapter One

I love the sun. I love it because I feel like it’s mine and I like things to be mine. Not a lot of things are mine. I love this sun. This very sunrise and the first rays I can watch with Luna right before she goes to be because she likes the time with me and I like the time with her. I still need to watch her, just like my momma said. I love this sun and the brightness that floods my eyes and tells me now it is time to put Luna to bed.

“It’s bedtime, Luna.”

“Can’t I stay up?”

“No you’re nine. You need sleep.”

“I’m the Princess of the Night.” Luna loves me as much as I love her so she listens to me like I listen to my momma. I don’t think Luna remembers momma, which makes me sad because she was important. Maybe that’s why she talked to my when she was dying, not Luna, because Luna is little and won’t remember like I do because I’m eleven years old and can remember things. I remember momma alive, but Luna just remembers her dead.

Luna can sleep when it is light. Luna likes sleep. I don’t know why, but maybe uncle Dizzy will know and he can tell me because he loves me. He sits all the time in a big big chair at the end of a long long hallways with pretty sparkly pictures made of glass on the walls and he is king there and I will be queen there. Uncle Dizzy looks busy with whatever he is doing but I am the princess.

“Why does Luna like sleep?”

“Go away, I’m busy ruling Equestria.” He says this a lot. I always have to leave when he tells me to. My momma told me once, not when she was dying, to listen to people above you and I guess I never thought of it because not many people are above me but uncle Dizzy is so I should listen to him because I always listen to my momma. I loved my momma but she is dead. She used to be queen of Equestria and Luna and I were princesses but now she’s dead and we’re still princesses but I’m the queen.

There are lots of people in the castle. They stand and stare and never smile and don’t like it when Luna and I run through the castles but we like it so they have to put up with it. I don’t think they like me but I don’t really know because I’m just a kid even though I’m almost the queen but they still see me as a kid because I’m only eleven. I don’t know what they think of Luna because there are different people at night but she is only nine so they must think even worse of her which is not good because I love her and will protect her forever and ever.

The sun is pretty and sparkly and I love it and it makes me feel warm inside like only Luna can do. I think maybe my momma made me feel like that but I don’t know since uncle Dizzy doesn’t at all and maybe that’s because I never knew him before my parents were dead. When they were dying he came to be king and still is because I can’t be queen and momma never said anything about him when she was dying but she also didn’t say much when she was dying. Only the earrings and being queen and taking care of Luna. Uncle Dizzy told us he was uncle Dizzy and he’s the king and to listen to him and he showed us fun silly things and we liked him very much but once my parents were dead it was go away and not so much silliness but that is okay because once I’m queen we’ll have silliness and he’ll make it because I’ll be queen but that’s when I’m fifteen and that’s four whole years away and that is a very long time when I’ve only experienced eleven years already. But I’ll be queen, so it will be okay.

I’ve been awake for a long time to be with Luna. I think I am awake for too much time for an eleven year old but uncle Dizzy doesn’t take care of me and Luna doesn’t because she’s little and the other people don’t because they do not like me so I look after Luna and me and that’s okay because we are Day and Night. I wear all light colors and Luna wears all dark colors. Luna has a special crown that is dark blue that she had from being a baby but it is gone now and she wears a tiara like me. I don’t know where it went, but uncle Dizzy will, so I will ask him. He is still in the room with the pretty sparkly pictures and now that there is more sun they sparkle more and put colors on the ground which is pretty and I like that.

“Where is Luna’s special crown?”

“What special crown?”

“It is dark blue and from being a baby.”

“Never heard of it. Go away.” He does not know. He does not know. Uncle Dizzy has known everything up to now, but now he has never heard of Luna’s special crown. He has to be lying but he can’t be lying because that is bad and uncle Dizzy is good. Momma told me once that lying is bad and uncle Dizzy said he is good. Nobody can be bad and good, so he can’t be lying and maybe it went missing before my parents were dead. They would know where it is but they are dead and can’t tell me.

My name is Celeste and I am eleven years old. I like the sun and pretty sparkly pictures and knowing answers. I love my little sister Luna and I will be queen of Equestria once I am fifteen and uncle Dizzy can’t stay king because he doesn’t have all the answers. Everyone who can help me is dead.

Chapter Two

I am not allowed to go in the garden. Uncle Dizzy says it’s not a place for children but from the windows I can see it and it sunny and wonderful and I want it. Uncle Dizzy can see the garden from the pretty sparkly pictures room and would see me but I want to feel the sun on my skin. Luna is awake, but she shouldn’t be because she needs sleep because she is only nine and a little girl and she is Night and I am Day and it is day now so it is my time not hers.

“Why are you awake?”

“Am I not supposed to be?” I can’t read clocks but I can look at one and see that the little hand is at the place where she usually is awake and I just thought it was earlier but it isn’t.

“I’m sorry Luna. I love you.”

“I love you too Celeste.” The pretty rays of the sun don’t have much time left. I need to feel that warmth more than anything and even though I shouldn’t, I need to go to the garden.

“Luna.”

“I want to run and play in the halls.”

“Okay.” And we dance and we jump and we leap and we run through the castle and the other people look upset because we are making much too much noise and it is not normal but we are princesses and we wear the sparkly tiaras on our heads and it’s okay.

My blonde hair falls in waves along my shoulders but Luna’s is dark and messy and short and combs can’t fix it. I am the Princess of the Day and I must look my best and I must do what princesses ought momma told me again again again when she wasn’t dead. But Luna is the Princess of the Night and she is the child of shadow and keeps to herself while I try to watch her for momma. Momma loved my hair and would brush it and play with it but she is dead. And now uncle Dizzy is the king and Luna wants to visit him to ask a question and I say okay but ask about your crown for me and maybe he’ll answer Luna, sweet little Luna. The sun is going down but the pictures are still pretty sparkly colors everywhere.

“Where is my crown?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“It’s mine and I want it.”

“Why are both of you so fixated on that dumb crown?”

“It’s Luna’s and she wants it.”

“I told you, I don’t know where your stupid princessy crowny is.”

“Yes you do.” I do not know why Luna would say something like that, for she knows that uncle Dizzy is good and lying is bad and that does not work and everyone with answers is dead but I’m not sure if she understands what is good and bad because she is a little girl but she has accused uncle Dizzy of lying and he is not happy upset angry very angry furious at her and he is turning red in his face and this is not good and I want to run through the castle and be happy and listen to momma but she’s dead.

“Fine, have your crown, princess.” And there it is, my only memory of it from Luna being a baby, but it is little and dark and has a moon and it is Luna’s and it is flying through the air and the last happy pretty wonderful sunlight of the day if hitting it and not lighting it up, like her crown is Night like Luna is Night. And it is flying and soaring and falling and falling and just when it is dark all around it hits and stops and touches the ground and shatters to a million pieces just to be swept away and Luna falls with it too. Her crown is dead and the day is dead and our parents are dead.

I will not go to the garden for I have to take care of Luna. She is on the ground and she is crying and heaving and sobbing and I don’t know sadness like this for we never cried when are parents died or when they were dying never at all. And uncle Dizzy is yelling in anger and Luna is yelling in pain and he have to leave and I help Luna pick up her shattered crown quickly quickly leave and she’s still crying and I take her to my bedroom.

My name is Celeste and I am eleven years old. My parents are dead, the day is dead, the answers are dead, and Luna’s crown is dead. I protect my little sister Luna and I am the queen of Equestria. I am the queen of Equestria. I am the queen of Equestria.

Chapter Three

My name is Celeste and I am twelve years old. I like the sun and Luna and normality and knowing things. I’m locked in our quarters with my little sister Luna and I am the queen of Equestria. I’m  the queen right now. I don’t have the time to wait until I am fifteen years old because it’s already been a few months of doing nothing and I had my birthday so I’m not eleven and I’m twelve and three more years will be too long. Luna and I are princesses but we can’t dress up and run around the castle because we’re locked in but sometimes I wish my life could go back to normal. Right now my uncle Dizzy is somewhere, crashing through Equestria and my parents are dead. I have to take care of Luna even though I need taking care of too because I like the day and she likes the night and we’re stuck here together and I love her and I always listen to momma. We get food delivered every day but we can’t go out of our quarters and I don’t know why but the food is yucky and Luna won’t talk much but I hear her crying at night and it makes me sad. I don’t like being sad. There are no windows so I don’t know when night and day is so we are both confused and unhappy and sometimes I wish my parents to be not dead because right now I am sad all the time which isn’t good.

The newspapers say that there is chaos everywhere and that houses are turned around and people are dying and it rains acid and I think it’s uncle Dizzy’s fault but the newspapers call him Discord instead. I’m scared. I have to be queen because I don’t think anyone is right now and Equestria needs me but Luna needs me too. Momma told me to be queen and I will right now. I can be the queen since I don’t think Discord is still king so I have to be and Luna can be Queen of the Night and we can be happy but first I have to get out of our quarters to I can go to the longs pretty sparkly pictures room and be queen but I’m stuck here. But the door is knocking with our food and that means the door to the castle opens and I can get out and I will get out because I am the queen of Equestria.

“Here’s the meal, ladies.”

“Thank you. Now let us go.”

“I’m under orders from Discord saying not to.”

“I have more power than he does.”

“No is no, hon.”

“I am the queen of Equestria and I demand you let us go.”

“I’m not listenin’ to a little girl.”

“No, but you’ll listen to the queen.” These words aren’t really mine because I heard momma saying them once when she was dying and I remember and then she pushed past the person so I do that and I’m free and it was easy and there’s no more locked up and I’m free with Luna and we’re free again and life can be not sad and it doesn’t matter that my parents are dead and I’m the queen of Equestria and I get Luna and we’re free to run and jump and be happy again but I don’t know if I can still be a kid because I’m queen but I’ll try and uncle Dizzy said I couldn’t but he is a bad person and bad people lie so I can’t listen to him like I listen to momma because he’s not in power because I’m queen.

We go to the pretty sparkly pictures room and run all the way past the colors on the ground and our shouting echoes and we’re happy and I’m the queen and we get to the end of the room and to the big chair and there is a big door that says it is locked but I just put my hand on it and it opens for us because I’m special and there is my earrings and they are pretty and sparkly and I put them on for momma because I always listen to momma and they’re pretty and feel so special and Luna is smiling which is very good because she doesn’t smile much. and I keep my tiara on because there is no special crown there and there is also a book and it looks special so I open it and read it with Luna and what it says is very important and talks about six special people, but not special like me and Luna, special because they are good people. And I need to find these people and Luna agrees because they can help me with Discord but I don’t think these people really exist yet and I need them to but I’m queen so I have to figure out what to do before it’s too late and finding the people would take too long and I need to think more. I can hear the door opening but I’m reading and click click click of footsteps on the ground and I think it’s just one of the other people click so I just keep reading about the special people click and I need a plan click and maybe the book will help and Luna can’t help click because she’s little but she’ll try to help me because she loves me click and the book will help.  Luna is fidgety and wants to go to sleep click because she likes sleep but she can’t click because we have to save Equestria click and we have to figure out what to do very soon click and it’s hard to think and I’m upset and... Click.

“So we meet again, ladies.”

Aftermath

It’s all dark and my head is pounding and my first thought is to Luna and her safety. Luna my sister. Luna who I love. My eyes can’t open and I feel disconnected from my body and everything is just pain and I try to scream, to call for her, but there is no sound only pain. I just need to open my eyes. Just so much pain. I can barely remember, but... Discord, and... I-I’m the queen of, of, of... I need to remember. My name is Cal-Celeste. My name is Celeste and I am, wait how old am I? I am... 12 years old. I like- I don’t like this pain. No. I like... the sun! I like sunshine and w-winter and sparkles, no, that’s not it... and gli-glitter and cotton candy and stories, but what stories, it’s... fairy tales. I live with my little sister Luna and I am the queen of, of, of, E-eq... what is it, I know this... Equestria! I am the queen of Equestria! I am the queen now. I’m not waiting until I am 18? 13? Fifteen, that’s it. Luna and I are... princesses and we, we, um, we dress up and we run around the, the castle. I am not normal. My uncle Diz-, no, Discord w-was the king but, but what happened to him? He left... I made him leave. My p-parents are... my parents are dead. Oh god, my parents are dead and gone and oh god oh god oh god. No, no, stop. I have to keep going. I... take care of Luna. I’m the sun, no, day, and Luna is the night. Okay. I know who I am. But still... the pain, I can’t... open my eyes but I have to, I’ve got to, but I can’t even... think anymore, and darkness... darkness is falling. I have to... keep strong for these last, last moments. I feel stronger but I can’t... I have to... fight... but, but, my parents are dead and so shall I be.

I listened to you momma. I did what you said. I wore the earrings, and Luna’s alright, and look, momma, look, I’m the queen, just- just like you said. I was strong momma. I was strong for you and for Luna. God, I love her momma. She’s the best... sister in the world, momma. She can be queen now, please let her momma. I’ve had a good reign. I was a good queen, momma. Tell me that. Tell me again that I’m a good little princess and, and that you love me and that I’ll be the b-best queen Equestria’s ever had, b-but you were momma. Tell me momma, tell me. Sing to me momma. Sing the song about... it was about the day and  the night and love and I... I tried momma. I tried as hard as I could momma. I think I was good to Luna and she loved I know. But I loved her for you momma, because you weren’t there. You couldn’t be. But I still always listened to you. I’m wearing the earrings. I’m dying and I’m wearing the earrings momma. I... I’m here for you. I love you sun. I love you glitter. I love you world. I love you Luna. I love you momma. I am t-

Chapter Four

“It’s nothing and it’s everything

I cannot fall asleep

Wandering, pouring through my head

The secrets that you keep”

“Good morning Queen Celeste. How did you sleep?” Bright lights and a smiling face. Hovering over me. Good morning indeed. Mmm, soon there will be wonderful sunshine.

“I-I had a nightmare. There was chanting, and... it was scary.” I’m having trouble recalling what exactly it was, but dreams are dreams. I shake it off.

“Shall I prepare your breakfast?” I get out of bed and nod.

“Yes, of course. I’m going to go watch the sunrise.” But I stay put, waiting to be alone so I can change.

“As usual, my queen.” And she is gone. I change into a flowy dress, perfect for the chill of dawn and for the mood set by the sunrise. I pause at my case of tiaras, and opt for a sparkly headband. It’s a short walk to the sunrise room, and upon entering, I am greeted with a bow by the servant in the room. I quickly dismiss him. I sit in my favorite sunrise chair, its comfiness swallowing me, and she comes in a moment later with my breakfast of croissants and tea. I do not touch it but instead look to the clear horizon and the first bits of orange and yellow and pink seeping into the sky. It’s beautiful. Incredibly amazing. And mine, in a way. I never get tired of it, though, day after day. I sit back and sigh contentedly.

“So, agenda for the day?” Delicious, delicious croissants.

“Well, at nine you have a meeting. Lunch at noon. A visitor at 1:30. A visit by you at three. Sunset at 7:15.”

“Elaborate on each.”

“The nine meeting is on the economic web of the major cities of Equestria.” Sounds incredibly useless and boring.

“Ugh, can’t I get out of that?”

“Um, no. Sorry.” Blast.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Blast.

“Continue.” Ooh, herbal tea.

“You’re going to the grand opening of Bistro de Celeste for lunch. It’ll have to be quick though, because a visitor will be here at...” Unimportant.

“Tell me later, please. I’ll be off to my room to prepare for that meeting. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, queen.” I walk out and back to my bedroom. I have to look queenly but more buisnesswomanly for this meeting. It doesn’t take long to pick something out, but I know the meeting will last for an eternity.

An eternity.

Eternity.

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“LUNA!” And I’m screaming.

“Tia? Um, I... I just wanted to tell you th-that I... uh, I’m not doing this right I am I?”

“You’re doing fine.”

“Okay. I’m... I th- deus meus. Ohmygod. Her eyes are open. Ohmygod, look, look!”

“Honey... honey...”

“That’s Queen.”

I can see... light. Light. I... who am I?

“Who am I?”

“You-”

“Stop.” A new voice. A male one. “No telling her anything. That’s the rule. She’s gotta a figure it out for herself.”

“What would you know, that’s my-”

“Calm down, Princess. Shouldn’t you be sleeping or... ruling?”

“Ugh. Whatever. Catamitus.”

I see... light.

“Alright honey, who are you?”

“God, just let me do it, nursie. And you can leave, Mister Jerk.”

“Mmm, sassy.”

“Just go. Both of you. I’ve got this.”

“Don’t you think we should wait a bit? She... just woke up a minute ago.”

“Eh, let the princess have her fun.”

“There, run along.” Footsteps. And light. “Alrighty Tia. That’s not your name, I just call you that. Now, you’re gonna have to speak.”

I see light and can hear... and I will... speak.

“L-i-ght”

“Light. Light. Lux. Oh god. Okay. That’s really really good. Like awesome. Okay. Oh-kay. Um.”

I see light. But I... I. I.

“Alright, moving on. Who are you?”

“Hmm?”

“Who are you?”

“T-t-t”

“No. You’re not Tia, I just call you that. Who are you?”

My name. Light. No, me. Light? No... I...

“Come on Tia.”

“T-t-t”

“No! God- hmm. Breathe. Okay, let’s slow down. Who are you? Repeat after me. My name is.”

“M-my n-a-me isss”

“Awesome. Now say your name.”

“S-ssss...”

“Good. You’re on the right track. Keep going. Your name.” I can do this. Light? No, but... I... am...

“Ssss-c-eh...ss-ell-eh, s-s-el-ess...t. C-el-est. Cel-este. Celeste.”

“Yes! Yes! You did it! Oh my god, I am so proud of you. Now I can call you by your name instead of just Tia, but I might slip up once or twice because that’s what I called you... the whole time.”

“Cel-este. Light.”

“I think that’s enough for today.” But I was so... good.

“Who told you to come back in?”

“I’m her doctor. I’m allowed to be in here wherever.”

“Doesn’t personal time override that?”

“Doesn’t her health override that?”

“Doesn’t ruling this country overrule that?”

“Doesn’t protecting the-. Nevermind. But that’s not defeat. I’m only saying that because I can’t say any more, under my own rules.”

“Ha! Karma.”

“You’re one to talk.” A... stop. That was... dark.

“I told you... not to bring that up, not in front of her.”

“Sorry moonshine.”

“Just go. Please. I want to be alone with her.”

“Fine. But I’ll be back in five for bloodwork.” Footsteps... door shut. Light. Light and quiet.

“It’s okay, Celeste. I think we’ve done enough for today.” Pause. “Do you want me to sing?” Sing... sing a song... I know a song... but no, it’s not...

“No.”

“Oh. Okay.” Door and footsteps.

“Alright Celeste. Hi.” H-hello. I can’t make words. P-please help... me. “We’re gonna need to put you under for a little bit, and since it’s been a long day already, I doubt you’ll wake up until morning. Okay? Okay. Sweet dreams, Celeste...” And voices, voices... fading. Light... fading to... dark.

“Me amare mane

Me amare sol

Me amare die

Me amare vita

Ego pro mea mane

Et diem faciet

Sit sol esse vera

Et imitatores gaudent

Postera lux agit hoc nobis

Me amare mane

Me amare sol

Me amare die

Me amare vita”

“Good morning, Tia- err, Celeste.” Light. “I’m just used to calling you Tia, hope that’s okay. So how are you? Great. I’m kinda disappointed you didn’t want me to sing to you, actually. The doctors said it would help. You know what, I’m gonna sing anyway. This job is really hard. But don’t worry, I won’t be singing to you, rather to myself. Oh god, I’m babbling, aren’t I? Nox faecem, I can’t ask you questions. Did I mention... I forgot. Whatever. I’m gonna sing now.” Light and... I know this v-voice. Sing. SInging.

“Me amare vesperum

Me amare luna

Me amare nocte

Me amare vita

Ego pro vespertina

Et nox faciet

Agat aestus esse vera

Et imitatores gaudent

Hoc dat nobis proxima nocte

Me amare vesperum

Me amare luna

Me amare nocte

Me amare vita”

I know the... but no, it’s so... different?

“Regina et Imperatrix.”

“You know Latin?”

“Revera linguam latinam vix cognovi.”

“You looked up that up online, didn’t you?”

“... yes.”

“You little lupae filius.”

“I’m not gonna ask what that means. How is she?” She. She... me?

“Fine.”

“I heard you took my advice.”

“You heard that?”

“Yeah. And you suck.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding, Princess. Calm down.”

“Why are you even here?”

“The... expert tells me to check if she can see. So I am.”

“Expert?”

“Yeah.” Voice closer. “Okay, Celeste. Can you see me?”

I see... “L-light.”

“You see light? Hmm. I guess that’s good.”

“Yes, light.”

“But can you see shapes... is it just light?”

“Just light.” I am good, I can answer, I can... speak.

“Good. At least she can understand us. But it seems that she still can’t fully see.”

“Thank you, Dr. Doctor.”

“Always my pleasure, Moon Unit.” Footsteps, door.

“Alright, he’s gone. So, did the song help you?” No. “So yeah. I think we should move on. Next is- oh wait, recap. What is your name?” I know this.

“M-my name is Celeste.”

“Awesome! Next on our list is your age. How old are you?”

How... old am I? How many...

“Y-years.”

“But how many years? Is it one, two, forty, a million?”

“F-f...”

“It’s none of those options.” Oh. Think, Celeste.

“T-t-tw...elve. Tw-elve.”

“Oh no. Oh deus. Celeste... I... I have to go for a moment. You’ll be fine. Te amo.”

Footsteps. Fast, not loud. Door. Light. Silent. I have to remember. My name is Celeste. My name is Celeste and I am... twelve years old? But she, she.... she was upset. Was I... wrong? But I still don’t know what... no, who am I? What am I... like? Like. I know that word, like. I like. That’s how it goes. I like. What do I like? I like light. No. But... not light... s-sun? Yes, yes, I like sun-shine. I like sunshine. I am good. I can re-remember.

Door, footsteps light and quick.

“Okay I’m back. Look, I... don’t know how to say this, but you’re not... twelve anymore, Celeste. You’re fifteen. You’ve been in a coma for three years. Three long, hard years. It’s so goddamned cliché. Why? Why would you... breathe. It’s okay- it’s...” She is not okay. She is upset. With me.

“Okay?” I can be good, look, I can remember.

“No. Your name is Celeste and you are fifteen years old. You like sunshine and winter and glitter and cotton candy and fairy tales. You live with your little sister Luna, that’s me, and you are the queen of Equestria. I’m the queen right now. I had to wait for three years. We’re princesses and we get to dress up and run around the castle and we are not normal. You banished Discord and... our parents are dead. You take care of me even though we don’t hang out as much as normal sisters do because you’ve been in a coma and you are the day and I am the night. For god’s sake, Celeste, remember!”

“Luna, why the eff did you do that?”

“I-I had too! God, I’m... sorry.” Her voice has tears in it. Footsteps, running.

“Luna, wait! Christ.” Footsteps. Door. I am alone. Luna. Luna? Luna, I remember. Luna. I...

My name is Celeste and I am fifteen years old. I like sunshine and winter and glitter and cotton candy and fairy tales. I live with my little sister Luna and I am the queen of Equestria. I’ve been in a coma for three years. Luna and I are princesses and we get to dress up and run around the castle and I know I’m not normal. I banished Discord and my parents are dead. I take care of Luna even though we don’t hang out as much as normal sisters do because I am the day and she is the night.

Eternity.

I remember.

Chapter Five

My name is Celeste and I’m lonely.

The day and night are both mine now. I don’t sleep.

I can’t sleep. There simply isn’t time.

I guess I never... appreciated her. What she did, who she was... no. I knew who she was.

I never admitted it to myself -what I knew- until it was too late, clichéd as it seems.

My only salvation comes in my duties.

The monotony of ruling... salvation isn’t the right word. It’s not that.

I try to lose myself in work, really. It doesn’t often work.

I am unprepared for this, just as Discord predicted.

I always expected to have Luna by my side, though.

My thoughts are still clouded from these last years.

The memories don’t exactly fit.

I think I’m trying to block them out; shield myself from the pain.

I just want to be loved.

I just want a family.

My family... nothing is left of what used to be.

The once-great family has fallen.

I am what is left of a long line of divine.

I don’t live up to my history.

I don’t deserve myself.

My name, my history, my family.

The thoughts of all that weight on me...

I’m crumbling, too.

I won’t last long under all this pressure.

I don’t have help, no one is here for me.

My parents- dead.

The moments I shared with them are dead, too.

I still listen to my momma.

I still try.

I am not sure if she would be proud of me today.

My uncle- gone.

The thin veil of his rulership has been burned.

I am much stronger than he was.

I am much better than he was.

I still can’t let go of all he’s said to me.

My sister... Luna, oh Luna.

The thoughts of her nag me, beg me for my attention, yet I push them away.

I still love her.

I am fighting, ruling, all for her.

I am not sure if I can do this with or without her.

My daily decisions seem to be too weighty.

The frivolous -what to eat, to wear- seem monumental.

I am pressured to make them, and I just can’t.

I feel so isolated, so misunderstood.

I am inclined to pass it off as teenage angst.

My mind tells me it isn’t.

The feelings I have- what are they, truly?

I can’t be sure.

I don’t know if I ever will be. At least, not for a while.

I wish I could. It would make life simpler.

My very being aches for a time of inner peace.

The events and people that shaped my world have caused eternal turmoil.

I loathe my past, yet embrace it.

I want normality, same as I always have.

I just can’t do this.

My name is Celeste and I’m lonely.

Meeting

Just sixty seconds and I know.

They were right when they said there’s a hole in my heart where Luna should be. They were right when they told me I should fill it. She fills me with light, with rebirth. Hugging her brings a rush of an emotion I've gone too long without: love.

Just sixty seconds of holding her in a hug and I’m sure of it.

Her eyes are unbelievably bright, just like they say her mind is. She’s nervous, but excited. The definition of innocence. I need a distraction, but I know she’ll be more than that. Almost... a daughter?

No... a little sister.

“Queen?”

“Yes, of course, yes.”

“Thank you so much. She’s incredibly gifted, you won’t regret it.”

“What is her name?”

“Twila. Twila Sparks. She turned five in August.”

“I’ll see you next week, okay Twila?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll take good care of her, I promise.”

“Thank you so much, your highness.”

“My pleasure.”

My name is Celeste and I am seventeen years old. I shall love and cherish Twila Sparks for all eternity.

My name is Celeste and I shall be lonely no more.

Memories

I think I know hell now. I know pain, this is pain, constantly. But now I know hell.

I forget who advised me to take on this child, but they shall die for it. This is hell. I’m not ready for responsibility, especially when I see so much of her in her. I don’t know what to do with a child. I’m only seventeen, for chrissake. Our meals are the epitome of awkward, sitting, staring. I need someone to help me. I’ve never had a mother of my own to guide me and teach me to be a good parent. I feel bad for Twila; I’m going to fail at this. Just look what a shoddy job I did with...

I think we might go to the zoo.

***

I don’t think we shall go to the zoo again.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the zoo, but it is a very big deal. You’d think I was queen of this country or something. Heh.

Twila had a grand time though. She skipped from animal to animal, reciting facts for me she’d picked up. I believe she has a photographic memory, from everything she told me. She especially loved the otters. They were absolutely adorable. We were having a great time together, and in between fluffs of cotton candy, playful monkeys and bright sunshine, I actually let myself be happy for once. That is, until we got to the aviary.

Twila had insisted we enter the humid, lively dome, and I agreed as I’ve always liked birds. We strolled happily, trying to get a glimpse of a parrot or conure as Twila attempted to mimic the calls. Twila tugged on my sleeve and told me she wished phoenixes were real. I smiled at her as she wandered off a bit to look at a plant. I turned the other way to see a bird happily sitting at eye level. I instantly recognised it as a quetzal. And then everything hit me.

“What shall I name my bird, Luna?”

“She looks like a phoenix.”

“You’re right, she does.”

“Then you should name her phoenix.”

“Alright, that sounds like a good name. Just like us. We’ll rebuild this country from the ashes. Just like a phoenix, won’t we Luna?”

***

“Phoenix? Phoenix! Luna, have you seen Phoe- Luna, what happened? Luna? Luna, come here. Luna... why is there blood on your hands?”

“Tia... Tia are you okay?”

“Shh, Luna, it’s okay I’m here.”

“I’m Twila.”

“Oh. Oh my. I’m sorry Twila. Could you just... give me a moment? Thank you, dear.”

“Luna, what did you do? Luna...?”

“Luna, are you okay?”

“Luna, please just talk to me.”

“Luna, listen to me.”

“Luna, you’re impossible.”

“Luna, look at you. I can’t believe it.”

“Luna!”

“Luna, I swear...”

“Luna, I’m concerned for you.”

“Luna, say something.”

“Luna, I’m sorry.”

I can’t be okay. I don’t think I deserve it.

Luna

it is dark and like nite but heer and to me becuz i am luna princes of the nite and it glowes and sparkles in the star lite and celeste cant see becuz she is day and i am nite and heer it is and it is goen and no no no no no no time stops and it tuches the flor and it is in lots and lots and lots of lil itti bitti peces all sparklin in the moon and star lite that celeste cant see but i can and it is goen and i cant hav it but its mine so i shud and mayb it will come back but no no no no no it wont becuz sudenly evrythin is dark and blak like the nite and i can feel cold cold like the fog by the water in the twilite and i can feel it all around me all like nite but i like nite but i dont like this becuz it is not at all like nite no no no pleez celeste pleez help me i need help i need to screem but no sound and no celeste but only cold and dark and misty and i dont like it and i am scard and i want celeste but she is not here and no sound and cold filing me all arond and i cant feel anythin anymor just cold and i cant see or feel or hear or no but i cant stop the cold filing me up and i want it to stop but it wont and pleez celeste help me help me i need yu i luv yu pleez but no celeste only cold and dark and blak and fog and deth evrywar and it wont stop and i cant fite but pleez the dark and the cold and the mist and im all alon

I AM THE NIGHT

Prologue

My name is Celeste and I am eleven years old. I like sunshine and winter and glitter and cotton candy and fairy tales. I live with my little sister Luna and I am the queen of Equestria. I’m not really the queen right now. I have to wait until I am fifteen years old. Luna and I are princesses and we get to dress up and run around the castle but sometimes I wish I was normal. Right now my uncle Dizzy is the king because my parents are dead. I get to take care of Luna even though we don’t hang out as much as normal sisters do because I like the day and she likes the night.

I have pretty blond hair and Luna has crazy black hair. Uncle Dizzy says we are like night and day. He also says to go away and that he loves us and that he can stay king until I’m ready to take over and I should take as long as I want to. Luna and I are both really smart and really fast and we’re special because most people are one or the other or none at all and we’re both. I think that is why we’re princesses because we’re special. Sometimes I don’t like being special because all I want to do is run around and play but I have to do princessy stuff. Luna doesn’t really as much because she is the Princess of the Night and nobody else is up at night for her to do princessy stuff with but I am up during the day so I have to do all the princessy stuff because everyone is awake then. Luna and I both get to wear pretty sparkly tiaras but I wear mine off to the side and she wears hers in the middle of her head. Luna is nine years old which means I am two years older than her but I still get to watch her and be her big sister. Luna likes to wear blue and black and patterns that don’t match but I like white and light colors because we are night and day.

When my momma died she left me pretty sparkly little earrings and I like them but uncle Dizzy says I can’t wear them. Uncle Dizzy doesn’t say much of anything else. I guess he’s busy ruling the country. I know someday I’ll be queen and wear a big sparkly crown and sit in the big chair and do queeny things because my name is Celeste, and in five years I’ll be the queen of Equestria with Luna. But right now I can’t so I get to run around the castle with Luna and be a kid like I’m supposed to be, only a princess too. Uncle Dizzy says I should enjoy my childhood and not want to grow up so fast and I think he’s right because I like making snowmen and coloring and playing with Luna and uncle Dizzy says I won’t ever get to do those things when I’m the queen. It will make me very sad to not do those things but I have to be queen. When my momma was dying and she gave me the earrings she told me to be queen and I always listen to my momma. Sometimes I hear uncle Dizzy saying not nice things about my momma and poppa when he thinks I can’t hear but really I can.

Luna doesn’t understand because she’s only nine and a little girl but I’m two years older and have already lived more than a decade so I get it. Luna always listens to uncle Dizzy because she thinks he’s funny because sometimes he does silly things for us, like make it rain grape juice on Luna’s birthday because she likes that. I think he will have to leave when I become queen, but I don’t know why. He should get to stay and I want him to. He can help me be queen because I don’t know much and he always has the answers to problems.

He and Luna are the only family I have because my parents are dead and I think you have to be special like Luna and I to be part of our family. That seems unfair because what if a baby is born not special? Do they have to leave? That would make me sad. I don’t like to be sad. I like things that are not sad things, but some people think winter is sad but I don’t see why because the sunshine makes the snow look all sparkly and I like that. Luna says the moon makes things all sparkly, but I don’t really see it, though I sleep through the night and Luna is up. I always put Luna to bed and wake her up because I’m her big sister and I have to take care of her.

When my momma was dying and she gave me the earrings and she told me to be queen, she also told me to take care of Luna because I’m her big sister and with no momma and being little she needs someone to take care of her. I will love and take care of her forever because she’s all I have left of my momma. I’m not allowed to wear the earrings and I’m not allowed to be queen, but I’m allowed to take care of Luna so I will forever and ever until she can be queen with me and even then I’ll always love her because I always listen to my momma.

My name is Celeste and I am eleven years old. I like sunshine and winter and glitter and cotton candy and fairy tales. I live with my little sister Luna and I will be the queen of Equestria and wear the sparkly earrings and take care of my sister forever and ever for my momma because I always listen to her and now she is dead.

Confrontation

“Equestria was built on people working together and behaving like good people should. We’ve lived peacefully for generations on six, well, five... things everyone should have. The sixth nobody knows. The first is laughter. When we first met, you played silly tricks to make us laugh. The second is generosity. When you took over, you didn’t kick us out, or lock us away, you let us do pretty much whatever. You shared your kingdom with us. Next is loyalty. You didn’t change anything about how Equestria runs when you became king, and that was true to your kingdom and its roots. Fourth is kindness. You could’ve been super mean to us, but instead you let us be children as long as we didn’t bother you. You may not see kindness in yourself, but it’s in there somewhere. And lastly is honesty. You told me how hard it is to rule Equestria, and I know now that it will be hard. But I’m ready for the challenge. You see, Discord, Equestria has changed you, and made you into a normal, happy citizen, and the changed you can’t have any power of chaos over us because that’s not in our nature, and you are one of us. From this day until forever, you’re not going to be destructive of chaotic any more, because you’ve seen the goodness inside of you, and that can never go away. I’m telling you now to leave this place. Leave and take your chaos and never ever come back ever. Please. I believe you’ll be able to find your goodness anywhere, but the crimes you have committed leave you banished from Equestria.

My name is Celeste and I am twelve years old. I like sunshine and winter and glitter and cotton candy and fairy tales. I live with my little sister Luna and I am the queen of Equestria. I will be the queen today and until forever. I shall not wait until I am fifteen years old. Luna and I are princesses still and we’ll get to dress up and run around the castle but I’ve accepted the fact that I am not normal. Right now you, DIscord, must leave. Because my parents are dead, I get to take care of Luna even though things have changed, we are still Night and Day. My name is Queen Celeste, and this is Princess Luna, Princess of the Night.”

Dear Luna

Please, Luna.

Please.

Please be okay, Luna.

Please talk to me, please speak at all, if not to me, that’s okay.

Just let me know how you feel, if you’re okay.

Meals are awful.

We don’t even get to see eachother much.

And when we do, it’s silence.

And you sit there, Luna, and you don’t even eat anything.

Please, Luna, eat something.

Luna, I’m worried.

Worried for you.

I still love you, Luna.

I need you to know that.

Please believe me, Luna.

I don’t think you do, not anything I say.

How can I know you better?

You seem so distant.

Three years has taken you away from me.

I’m sorry, Luna.

It wasn’t my fault.

I saved you, Luna, saved you from what you couldn’t protect yourself against.

But you can’t forgive me for three years.

Three years have changed you, Luna.

You’re only thirteen, but you act so much older.

Your hair is long, your clothes are black.

I saw all the marks along your arms, Luna.

But then you started wearing long sleeves.

I think you noticed.

Sometimes I stay up late and listen through your door.

To make sure you’re okay.

To hear your voice.

I went in there once, while you were away.

I don’t need to tell you what I found there.

I’m sorry, Luna, but I had to.

It’s my job to protect you.

To care for you.

Please, Luna.

Please forgive me.

For everything I’ve done.

For three years.

I still love you and care about you, even if you don’t realize it.

Luna, I understand what you’re going through.

I’m on your side, Luna.

I’m doing what’s best for you.

Please understand that, Luna, if nothing else.

But I can’t face what you’ve become.

The night is is elegant, mysterious, enchanting, and beautiful.

The night can be dark, lonely, and dangerous.

Luna, you are the night, and all that it is.

I’m doing this because I love you, you have to understand that.

It’s for your own good.

I’m on your side.

Mama told me to take care of you, so I have to, whatever it takes.

Please forgive me.

Please, Luna.

Please.

Speech

My name is Celeste and I am sixteen years old. Above all, I love Equestria. I live in the large castle up on the mountain and I am the queen of Equestria. I am your queen now, and shall be your queen until my dying day. For seven years you were ruled by a tyrant. For three years almost directly after, you were ruled by... by my sister Luna, who... who... I’m sorry. This is very, very hard for me. I loved my little sister very much. I saw her as innocent and wonderful. I didn’t know she was capable of so much darkness. I came here to apologize to you for these past ten years, but we all know that it was out of my control. Even so, I know there are still hard feelings. I’m sorry for not being perfect. I’m sixteen years old and I... should get back to my speech. My parents died for our country, and I plan to continue in their legacy. I know it has been rough in Equestria for the past ten years, and I want to apologize for that. I also want to reassure you that we shall enter a new era in Equestria. An era of peace, harmony, and happiness. I pray that you love me as your queen as I love you as my people. Now is a new dawn is Equestria. We have exited the darkness. Now is the time for light.

Thank you. That’s all I have written, but I can sense the tension is our country. The longer this goes unsaid, the more people will talk. Luna was unprepared to rule this country. She was suddenly forced into it, and it took a toll on her mental health. She is currently recovering somewhere safe and isolated. It was not an easy decision to make, but I had no choice. I still love her. Thank you for not, uh, revolutionizing. Heh. My name is Queen Celeste and I am your queen. Thank you, Equestria. Thank you.

Finale

Blood.

Thick and dark and red and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Screaming and light and dark and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Love and hate and fear and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Sadness and anger and confusion and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Words and sounds and shouts and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Nothing and everything and anything and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Memories and wishes and dreams and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Sparkle and shine and glimmer and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Crowds and people and whispers and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Prayers and grief and hope and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Pens and forms and ink and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Tears and water and saline and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Luna and night and moon and blood.

Black as night in the darkness.

Blood.