DisQord

by Midnight Sprint

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Lyra, Spike, Adventure, Discord, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Main 6
Length: 26018

Twilight Sparkle and the residents of Ponyville meet a strange new friend, and relive old threats.

The girls face old threats and new methods of madness, when a strange force pulls a new friend into their land. In a startling crossover, the Captain of the Starship Enterprise finds himself trying to adjust to a VERY different culture, while the residents of Ponyville try to understand his presence. When his presence coincides with a dangerous sign in Canterlot, Twilight and the Captain both begin to put the pieces together, and come to a realization. With little more than suspicion to go on, they seek their friends, and attempt to remedy the situation, despite strange obstacles and hidden information. While the Captain and his new friends struggle to confront their old enemy, he also seeks to find a way back to his ship. With his new friends, he may learn more than just a way home.

I started this fanfiction a while back, and long before I knew about the new "Keep Calm and Flutter On" episode; so keep in mind that this is to take place before the events of that episode.

Published 2013-01-11 03:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-31 00:45:47 UTC

Part 1: EQuestria

“Oh, come now Picard.” The ever agitating voice of the ever present being known as ‘Q’ bemoaned to the captain of the starship Enterprise. “After all we’ve been through, and after all that you’ve seen in your time, you can’t tell me that you’re content to just sit here drifting through space without any sort of rhyme or reason.” Captain Picard placed a hand to his brow, massaging the bridge of his nose. Q’s antics were far irregular to the crew of the Enterprise, and the fact that this was so only served to make the situation more stressful to the Jean Luc.

“Q, I thought we finally had reached an understanding. How many deals must we strike before you leave us be?” Captain Picard demanded. Q offered a hurt expression. “Jean Luc, you don’t mean to tell me that for better or worse, you didn’t enjoy the strange and absurd you’ve seen thanks to me! Isn’t that what you and your crew seek out here in the vast cosmos? New life and civilizations! Adventure! Where’s that old spark you used to have, Capitan?”

Picard looked around his quarters, as if there were others around noting the deranged notions that Q had offered. The Captain leaned forward onto his desk, and crossed his hands. “Absurd.” Picard stated quietly. “Absurd is right, Q. How many utterly insane situations have we had to fight our way out of… how many improbable disasters have you personally caused only to find some manner of amusement in our struggle?”

“Jean Luc, I’m hurt!” Q exclaimed dramatically. “You act as though I have no sympathy for you or yours!” Picard smiled, reclined back into his chair, before replying. “Sympathy? Q, your twisted vision of curiosity and amusement has resulted in more stressful quarrels and life or death conflicts than I care to remember.” Picard scoffed, laughing briefly in irked amusement. “No, Q. If it’s all the same to you, I think we’ve all had more than enough of your discord.”

“Discord?” Q repeated curiously, before ending in feigned offense. “Very well then, Picard. I know when I’ve overstayed my welcome!”
“No, I don’t think you do.” Picard retorted, shaking his head.
Q tilted his head, and grinned. “Very well.” Q answered with a sudden overtone of defiance. “In that case, I say… GOOD DAY!” Q ended the conversation with a sudden snap of his fingers.

Picard felt an overwhelming rush as the ship’s walls vanished around him, the desk and his private quarters disappearing as the environment around him changed from vast and empty space, to a lush forested world. A dirt road ran through the landscape, and just over an incline, Picard could make out the outline of a village and it’s houses. “Q!” Picard barked into the cool morning air. “Q, send me back to the Enterprise this instant!” However, as usual, Q offered no response. Another ridiculous trial of Q’s was coming, and Picard knew that it was likely going to be more bizarre than the last.

Picard searched for his phaser, but found no such weapon on his person. The last thing he wanted, but found himself a part of all too often, was one of Q’s insane adventures while unarmed. The environment seemed peaceful enough, but all the same, the Captain maintained a vigilant watch of his surroundings. He continued to follow the road towards the village ahead in the hopes that perhaps one of the inhabitants might let him know where he was, or even when. Knowing the unknowable mind of Q, anything was certainly possible.

Coming from the top of the hill, following the dirt path, he noticed that the town was bustling with life. There were shops, houses, vendors, and all manner of business going on. Curiously, he could see no humans, certainly no humanoid life at least. What he noticed was that there were an abundance of equine creatures moving about the streets. Picard let out a sigh of surrender, and continued down the road. The village was astonishingly human in it's appearance. Many of the homes and shops seemed to be of human design, yet specifically created for this society of equines.

As the Captain reached the edge of town, he noticed that many of the equines had either shied away from him, or had fled all together. For his own sake, he hoped that this was not a sign of hostility or fear. “Damn it, Q.” He muttered under his breath. The horse like inhabitants of these streets were curious to Picard. They appeared familiar physiologically, at least externally, however they also featured unique differences. Notably, that the eyes were larger and more expressive, and the legs were thicker and more muscular. Along with this, the color of the hides and hair also varied radically from each other, and decorative markings seemed to sit on the flanks of most. Picard could also swear that he heard voices. Had Q deposited him into some world where equine life had evolved to the same degree than mankind had evolved from apes on Earth?

“Excuse me!” A feminine voice called out from far ahead on the road. The Captain squinted his eyes looking down the street, as a purple equine came trotting hurriedly towards him. The voice was not threatening, but Picard was sure to be prepared. When the creature stopped in front of him, he noted how vastly more expressive the facial features were. They were vaguely human, and strangest of all, a horn protruded from the equine’s forehead. “A… unicorn?” Picard let out involuntarily with an air of disbelief. “You’re… a unicorn?”
‘
“I am!” She replied. “But who… and what are you? I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a pony like you before.” Picard’s eyes remained as wide as they had when he laid eyes upon the village of horses. “I…” He started, unable to find the exact words he sought, before resorting to a usual introduction. “My name is Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise. Who may I ask are you? And where am I, exactly?”
The purple unicorn smiled and replied politely. “Pleased to meet you, my name is Twilight Sparkle. You’re in Ponyville, a city here in Equestria.”

Author's Note

I started this fanfiction a while back, and importantly before "Keep Calm and Flutter On" was ever announced. This fanfiction is set before the events of Keep Calm and Flutter On.

Part 2: InQuiries

“Twilight Sparkle?” The Captain of the Enterprise reiterated, eyes still wide. The young pony nodded her head happily, always excited to meet new faces from strange places. “That’s right. Where exactly is this ‘star ship’ of yours? Where are you from?” She asked, curious about the man’s appearance, background, and obviously his presence in Ponyville. “Me?” Picard answered, still adapting to this strange community of equine inhabitants. He had seen many strange life forms in his day, but such a colorful and expressive civilization of horse beings was certainly something unique. “I regret that I don’t actually know. I was with my crew,” He began, correcting himself for the sake of the pony being unfamiliar with the human creature. “My people. We were traveling through deep space on a mission of exploration, when someone… or rather, some THING took me from my ship and brought me here.”

“Strange.” Twilight said ponderously. Suddenly, a bolt of excitement shot through her eyes, and her entire face lit up. “Wait. You said, through space? You can travel through space!?” The Captain was a little taken aback, but not entirely surprised. It was obvious that the technological advancement of this place was as unique as the ponies that lived there. Picard replied briefly, “That’s correct. Unfortunately, the being that brought me here is as utterly chaotic as he is powerful. I have no means to tell where I am in relation to my ship.”

Twilight looked around the street, noticing that the crowd had remained drastically thinned, albeit still present. The other ponies had kept a distance from Twilight and the Captain, but it was obvious that a sense of curiosity kept more than a few looking as they passed. “I think I know someone you should talk to.” She stated confidently. “She’s the leader of our empire. Princess Celestia. She’ll know what to do about your situation, I’m sure!”

Captain Picard smiled with appreciation, and looked around. “Well, Twilight Sparkle. Seeing as I know nothing of your land, after you.” Twilight led Picard through the town, and ultimately onto a train, leading to Canterlot. She explained that the trip would take some time, and that he should take a seat and relax in the meantime. While it was true, this experience seemed like a terrible hallucinogenic experience, even for one of Q’s strange adventures, at least the civilization was friendly enough.

“So, you travel through the stars? What’s it like up there? I can only see through my telescope in my home. I’m aware of different galaxies, constellations, and nebulae, such as the Horsehead Nebula.” Picard laughed briefly, finding irony in the fact that the Horsehead was the first name she brought to his attention. Still, it was worth noting that the name was parallel to a nebula of the same name in the Federation, and human space from which he hailed. “You know of the Horsehead Nebula?” He asked the young pony.

“Indeed I do.” She replied pleasantly, clearly intrigued by his presence, and history. Picard answered a little relieved. “Well, if it’s the same nebula, then that means I have a little bit of an idea where this world of yours is in relation to my ship.”

“Ms. Sparkle? Is it?” The Captain inquired politely. Twilight looked over from the window and answered happily. “You may call me Twilight, Captain.” Picard smiled to himself. “Well then, Twilight. This… Princess of yours. You believe she will know how to help me find my people? Your technology here is very familiar to me and my own kind, but I can see that there are other things operating here.”

“That’s right, Captain.” Twilight answered honestly. “Celestia is experienced and wise, but she’s a very kind soul. She’ll know how to help you. Or at least get you started on the right path.” Twilight was lying down on one of the seats, obviously designed for the pony race, while Picard was sitting with his legs stretched over the edge. Making the most of seat designed for a being whose physical structure was so radically different forced the Captain to find new ways to recline.

“Captain, speaking of your people.” Twilight began to ask, “How is it that you came to be here without a means to get back?” Picard shook his head and shrugged. “I would tell you that you wouldn’t believe me, but I somehow doubt that very much.” The young unicorn just tilted her head inquisitively. Picard sighed and continued. “Very well. During our travels, we encountered a creature… a being. This… being, who calls himself Q, comes from a place outside of our perception of reality. They call it the Q Continuum. Anyway, this Q abused his natural powers to alter reality, and play games at our expense. His twisted sense of humor was based on little more than chaos and discord, turning myself, my crew, even civilizations at times into little more than pawns in a sick game. Oh, he’s probably watching us right now.”

Twilight’s eye twitched a little bit upon hearing the word ‘discord’, in association with the background explanation of this Q person’s knack for wreaking havoc and nonsensical discourse. “Discord… you say?” She inquired nervously. Picard nodded, acknowledging the nature of Q, unaware that the young pony had suspicions of her own in the back of her mind. “Twilight. Is there a problem?” The Captain asked, confused by the strange reaction to their conversation.

“No!” Twilight reacted involuntarily, as she sometimes had a nervous habit of doing. “It’s nothing. Princess Celestia will know how to approach this problem of yours, and I’m certain that we’ll be able to figure out any blocks we might come across. I am her personal pupil, you know.” She added with a light, yet noticeable air of pride in Celestia’s choice. “Well then,” Picard replied. “I’m glad I seem to have run into the right… um, unicorn!”

The train rumbled a little as the tracks curved around the final stretch leading to the gates of Canterlot. “We’re almost here, Captain. Just follow me, and I’ll take you to the Princess as soon as possible.” Picard nodded while standing, and peering out a window towards the grand castle, and the elegant castle town that surrounded it. This was clearly a high society dwelling, and the masonry showed that the ponies living within were of high learning, high skill, and likely more knowledge than he would have expected from such a civilization. He had to admit, as utterly cartoonish and strange as this place appeared to the average mind, it was without doubt a marvelous and beautiful environment.

Author's Note

I started this fanfiction a while back, and importantly before "Keep Calm and Flutter On" was ever announced. This fanfiction is set before the events of Keep Calm and Flutter On.

Part 3: Just Like Q

The Captain accompanied the young pony as they passed through the main gateway of Canterlot’s royal city. Everywhere, ponies stopped and stared, speaking in hushed voices amongst one another. Picard found it strange, yet had been accustomed to this manner of reaction in more civilizations and races than he could remember. After many years of galactic travel, he knew that being the visitor, meant he was an alien being to whichever society he happened to be stopping in.

Most of the expressions were those of curiosity, while other reflected a look of concern. Being a Canterlot pony, born and raised, many of the citizens recognized Twilight. Those who knew her, also knew that she was quite obsessed with her studies, even to some degree now, and that strange things may follow her from time to time. Not surprisingly, the guards seemed to watch Picard with more vigilance than the citizen ponies had been.

Twilight wasn’t oblivious to Picard’s demeanor. She could tell that he had noted their reaction, and she couldn’t tell whether or not it was getting to him. “Don’t mind them.” She said assuring the Federation Captain. “They just haven’t seen anypony like you before. I think the closest thing we have that looks like you is, no offense, the spider monkeys that live in the Canterlot Gardens.” Her eyebrows shifted in such a way as to denote concern over her words.

“Oh no, Twilight.” Picard replied. “No offense taken. Strictly speaking, my kind is related to monkeys. Similar anatomical structure, biological genetics… it’s all very close.” The unicorn nodded, understanding. “So, you’re talking about a common ancestor in prehistory?” Picard chuckled, finding the situation rather entertaining, as well as enlightening. “You’re astonishingly well learned for such a young pony.” The captain spoke with genuine praise. He had grown used to speaking of these equine beings as ponies, as their society has chosen the name for their kind, but it was all very bizarre to hear it used in such a similar way as “person” or “body” is used in the human language of English.

As the two approached Canterlot Castle proper, Twilight stepped ahead. “Stay behind me, and I’ll get us to the Princess. Normally, you would have to wait. Considering the circumstances, however, I think it’s fair to push the matter.” Picard allowed Twilight to move ahead. “By all means.” He replied. Twilight nodded to the entryway guards, and had light banter with one of the castle guards whom had recognized her. She explained the situation to him, which he admitted wasn’t fully understood. Like most of the guard, he trusted Twilight, and having a brother as Captain of the guard didn’t hurt either.

When they finally passed the last threshold, the two stood in the gateway of the main hall; walls lined with amazing stained glass beholding depictions of various mythical conflicts and heroes. Picard noted that at least one of the panes hosted a pony strikingly similar in appearance to Twilight Sparkle. Perhaps the young pony had more than meets the eye.

Looking down the long, colorful hall, a beautiful throne area was flanked by the highest ranking of Canterlot’s guards. Atop the stairs, sitting on the throne, a grand white equine sat regally. Her horn was glowing with energy, and a long scroll hung in midair before her eyes. A quill, also animated by this same energy, was jotting down something on the paper. Unlike Twilight Sparkle, and some of the other unicorns the Captain had seen on his way into the castle, the Princess had magnificent ivory wings upon her back.

Stopping at the base of the royal stairs, Twilight softly cleared her throat, and spoke gracefully. “Princess Celestia?” The call seemed unheard, until half a minute later, the princess finally replied, looking away from her duties. “Oh! Twilight Sparkle! It is always a pleasure to see you. How are your studies?” Twilight smiled, and politely answered the inquiry. “Going very well, Princess. Ponyville has been quiet and happy, and I’ve had some quality time to review my recent papers.”

Lowering the scroll with her magic, Picard came into view behind the sinking paper. Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow curiously. “Who is this?” She inquired to her pupil. “A new friend of yours?” The tone was that of genuine curiosity. Unlike other ponies, Celestia did not seem to be taken aback by the radically different looking being before her; but being that she was a intensely powerful, ancient, and superiorly intelligent Alicorn, it wasn’t terribly surprising that she did not flinch at the sight of a human.

“Yes,” Twilight answered abruptly. “Well, I suppose so, anyway. I found him at the edge of Ponyville. He comes from very far away, on a ship that travels through the stars. Someone or something took him away from his ship, and he doesn’t know how to return. I thought you might have some insight, Princess.” Twilight ended the sentence with a little trepidation in her voice. She didn’t wish to pester the always busy princess, but considering the circumstance, nopony else seemed to be appropriate to visit about the situation.

“You did well to come here, Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia spoke confidently. Twilight smiled, pleased that she hadn’t been a burden. “May I ask…” She trailed off, awaiting an introduction.

“Apologies, your highness. I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard, of the Federation Starship Enterprise.” The Captain considering offering a hand to shake, but confused on whether the gesture would be understood, he chose to offer a bow instead. “Captain Picard.” The Princess began again. “You say you were taken from your ‘starship’? What is your ‘Enterprise’. If I may ask?”

Picard understood that these ponies were quite knowledgable. “It is a grand vehicle. Very much like a boat one would use on the sea, or a river. However, it is fully enclosed, and capable of traveling through the space where the stars rest. My role, and the purpose of my crew, is to travel through space, and explore. We are to find other civilizations and it’s peoples to establish a peaceful galactic community.” There was no way he could know if either Twilight or the Princess would have any idea what he was talking about, but he hoped that considering their knowledge already, that the Princess would know something about his situation.

“Most impressive, Captain.” Celestia spoke intruiged. “You’ll find that our land of Equestria has many ponies who have a similar love of exploration and adventure as you do, even if we prefer a simpler life on average.” She added a sort of knowing grin. Picard understood. Even expecting a wise being, Celestia was more adept than he had considered.

“Now, Captain Picard.” Celestia spoke. “You mentioned that you had been taken from your ship?” The Captain nodded, as Celestia continued. “And this was some being, or some form of transportation?” Picard sighed, and with an expression most unamused, he looked up to the Princess. “It was a being. We know him by the name of ‘Q’. His power is unimaginable, and utterly chaotic. It seems as though his only purpose is to sew chaos and discord wherever he goes.”

Twilight glanced up towards the Princess nervously, while Celestia looked away from Picard to meet Twilight’s gaze. Her neck craned around, looking upon the glass depicting planets on her left, then trailing slowly across the glass down the corridor leading to the throne room. “Captain Picard.” She said cautiously, taking the Captain aback. “When did this happen to you?” Picard narrowed his brow, expressing confusion.

“Only this morning.” He answered plainly. “When I arrived on the edge of your Ponyville, it was sometime in the late morning, earlier today.” Celestia rose from her throne, and marched down the steps with purpose. As she reached the throne hall’s floor, the Captain and Twilight Sparkle stepped aside. Celestia turned her head to the two with an expression of stern contemplation. “Twilight. Stay with the Captain, and meet me in Canterlot Gardens. I have a very bad feeling about this day.”

Before either Twilight or Picard could so much as begin to give the Princess a response, she had already galloped off through the entryway.

Author's Note

I started this fanfiction a while back, and importantly before "Keep Calm and Flutter On" was ever announced. This fanfiction is set before the events of Keep Calm and Flutter On.

Part 4: Into the Q

Twilight beheld the absolutely slightest expression of confusion on her face as the Princess darted off in a rush. While Captain Picard clearly had even less grasp of what was currently going on, he knew he had little choice but to trust these clearly honest and benevolent equine beings. From a scientific perspective, he found it all very interesting. The fact that there were so many parallels between their people and his, regardless of biological structure and evolutionary traits, was astounding to the Captain.

Even more fascinating was the seemingly magical aspect of their land. While his travels through deep space and vast uncharted reaches of the stars had shown him things of science and things of evident magic, he had never seen a society so in touch with this magic, that is was not only accepted, but a natural part of their existence. After a moment where both Twilight Sparkle and Captain Picard alike took some time for inward contemplation on the matter, the young pony spoke up. “Well, Captain, if the Princess is taking this as so seriously, we’d better get my friends to go with us to the gardens.”

Picard began walking with Twilight out of the main hall, to head towards the Canterlot gardens. “I take it your friends are also well versed in these sort of situations?” Twilight giggled her recognizable laugh that meant she knew something you didn’t. “That is to say, they aren’t pupils of the Princess, but together we’ve done some amazing things for Ponyville and Equestria that I would have never imagined we’d do.” Picard raised his eyebrows. “Such as?” He inquired curiously.

“It’s… a bit of a long story, actually. I can tell you another time before you leave, perhaps.” Twilight answered briefly. The Federation Captain followed her to a foliage-covered part of Canterlot, obviously leading towards the gardens. “I imagine your friends are back in Ponyville?” He asked the unicorn. Twilight raised an eyebrow and quirked her lip a little, realizing that the captain was right, and gave a nervous little laugh. “Well… yes. I’m sure that there will be more to this than meets the eye. We’ll probably need to get them after we talk to Princess Celestia again.”

A short lack of topics to speak about caused a momentary gap in the conversation, so Twilight ended up giving general overviews about the various deeds that the she and her friends had accomplished. The Elements of Harmony were kept out of the loop, and she downplayed much of the more intense situations to be a little more reasonable to accept, regardless of Picard’s own extraordinary experiences. Yet, soon enough, the two were already upon the Canterlot gardens, where many statues and flowers peppered themselves amongst the hedges. Up ahead, the Princess was standing beside two royal guards in front of a pile of crumbled stone.

As they approached, Celestia turned around, expecting their arrival. “Twilight Sparkle. It is as I feared.” Twilight and Picard both stepped around the Princess and her guards, looking upon the statues. “Oh no…” Twilight expressed quietly. Picard stood confused, as the two guards looked upon Picard with suspicion and inquisition alike. “Twilight, I need you to find your friends, and reunite the Six Elements of Harmony. If this is as it seems, we will be fortunate to stop his return before he has any time to cause any real damage again.”

Picard asked the Princess out of lack of knowledge. “Princess, may I ask what it is that we are up against?” The Princess stood with a very stern expression on her face, unlike that which Picard had seen since arriving. “His name is Discord. He represents chaos and disharmony. He is a very powerful creature, able to manipulate the natural world in a way so as to make it unnatural to fit his twisted sense of humor.” Picard’s eyes lit up with realization and in his mind the dots began to connect. “Q.” He said under his breath.

“Excuse me?” The Princess asked. The Captain sighed and explained. “You see… this is all just so very reminiscent of the being known as Q. In my experience, he seems very similar to this Discord of yours.” Picard continued to explain every detail of his experiences with Q, and his nature of appearance as well as personality, even amongst the Q Continuum. “That is startling to hear, Captain Picard. Do you suspect that Discord and Q are one and the same?” The Captain paced briefly, keeping his eyes on the Princess out of respect. “Well, Princess.” He began, clearly connecting the proverbial dots as he spoke. “I typically would simply seek to learn the truth about the nature of such a creature. However, considering the being known as Q sent me to your land, and on that very day, you find this Discord fellow to have escaped his captivity… Well, I just fail to see it as mere coincidence.”

Princess Celestia considered the notion for very little time, before realizing that there was an astounding level of wisdom and theory to this claim. “You are wise, Captain Picard.” Celestia spoke, clearly impressed. “If we are to stop Discord, deal with your Q, or both, we will need to be sure we do not miss any details.” Picard agreed, and Twilight stepped forward. “Princess, I’ll go get the others so that we can deal with this as soon as possible.”

“Take the Captain with you again, Twilight. I agree with him. I have a feeling that whatever is going on, we will need everyone vigilant.” Twilight and Picard said goodbye to the Princess, who remained beside the statue’s remains briefly, before leaving back to the castle. There was research to be done, and the Library was the first place to check up on anything that might lend a clue about anything resembling Discord, or the being known as Q whom Picard spoke of.

After the time to travel on the return trip to Ponyville, Picard and Twilight found themselves back in front of the Treehouse Library. Twilight called for Spike, who tentatively inched out the front door, eyes locked on Picard. “Um. Twilight? What is this thing?” Picard squatted down to be on a more even level with the young dragon. “My name is Jean-Luc Picard. And you are?” Spike was unable to answer, and only stuttered a little, having not expected to hear, not only speech, but also very intelligent introduction from, what appeared to be on first glance, some large breed of monkey.

“Spike, this is Captain Picard. He comes from a race called ‘humans’. His people were traveling on a ship… in space!” Twilight explained briefly, which quickly trashed any doubt of fear Spike had, and instead replaced it with child-like fascination with adventure and the distant unknown. “Spike!” Twilight shouted, as he pestered the Captain with all manner of questions in rapid succession, to which he apologized sheepishly. “Spike, there’s more to this than you know. We have to get the girls together. Princess Celestia needs our help again.” Spike, in his typical manner, gave a stumpy little salute, and jumped on Twilight’s back, to the veiled amusement of Captain Picard.

A disembodied voice suddenly emanated around the trio. “Well well well… Twilight Sparkle and Spike the little dragon have a new friend?” The voice was unmistakable, to both Twilight and to Picard. “You’ve never laid eyes on a human before, and yet here you are, already the best of friends and heading off for adventure!” Suddenly, the physical presence of Discord appeared between the Captain and Twilight. He wrapped his arms around both of their necks, as though hugging old friends. “But you’ve always been a very curious little student, haven’t you, Twilight Sparkle?”

The body of Discord burst into little clouds before Picard and Twilight were able to shrug him off, and reappeared, lounging upon a branch of the Tree Library. “Heading off to find your friends, are we? Well, we wouldn’t want it to be as easy as last time, would we? Let’s make this time a little more… interesting, shall we?” Discord pointed a claw at the trio, and a blast of light violent, almost white energy hit Twilight Sparkle. After the dust cleared, Twilight was gone, and instead two humans and a dragon were huddled on the path in front of the Library. A girl, evidently in her mid to late teens was crouched down next to Spike, who quickly jumped beside Captain Picard. Picard was in equal shock as the events that had just unfolded.

When the girl stood, she was wearing a Federation uniform, identical to any other, only instead of red, yellow, or any subsequently standard color-coded display; it was a striking purple top. Instead of a Federation communication badge, was an embroidered symbol, identical to the cutie mark, which had rested upon the unicorn’s flank. She stood, and looked up to the creature known as Discord. “We already stopped you once, Discord. Don’t think we can’t do it again!” Discord laughed in genuine amusement, and vanished from existence before their eyes. The girl turned to Picard and Spike, but had a strange expression on her face.

“Captain?” She asked nervously, before looking down to Spike. “Spike! Why am I suddenly so tall?” She took a few steps forward, and stopped on a dime. Looking down, she screamed curtly, and ran in circles in almost comedic panic. “HE TURNED ME INTO ONE OF YOU! I’M A HUMAN!” Twilight exclaimed, before regaining her composure. “You know… no offense.” She added, apologetically. Captain Picard placed a hand on her shoulder while Spike restrained himself from laughing. “It’s alright, Twilight. Just… try to think of it as a learning experience from the perspective of another life form.”

The scientific perspective helped ease her frantic shock of suddenly being completely transformed into another kind of creature. Sighing, Twilight looked over her now human form. Her hair was virtually the same, resting upon skin fairly similar to Picard’s, albeit younger, smoother, and feminine. “He gave me a uniform like yours, Captain.” Picard helped Twilight walk around a little to get used to the movement of two legs, despite the fact that she already had a seemingly good grasp of it. It would appear that, logically, becoming something else, the brain would adapt and understand the body it was in. “Either Discord only saw the clothing I wore as a human, and adapted it to you in your current body, or he put you in that thing out of sheer amusement. Unfortunately, either option seems fitting for both Discord and Q alike… assuming they are indeed two different creatures.”

Twilight sighed in both relief and forfeit. It was relief that only this ridiculous transformation was the only thing Discord had evidently done so far, but also of forfeit from panicking. Panic would serve no purpose, and as long as she was able to act, there was hope for stopping Discord once more. “My magic!” Twilight exclaimed, while the few passers by looked on with the utmost confusion, bordering on concern. The public, while mostly polite about it, tended to shy away from Picard; and now Twilight’s human form as well. Spike climbed up onto Picard’s shoulder, which, considering the circumstances, Picard allowed. “Give it a shot, Twilight.” Spike suggested.

She focused her mind, and with a small rope of violet light, lifted Spike up, and over onto her own shoulders. Spike smiled, as did Twilight, finally giving her some comfort in her new form. “Well, at least there’s that.” She quipped, frustrated. Picard nodded in agreement, before speaking. “It will certainly make this a little bit easier, at least.” He looked to Twilight and Spike, before inquiring. “We should not waste our time. Which friend of yours should we find first?” Twilight thought about where each friend lived, and who would take the sudden change as easily. “Well, my friend Rarity is closer than some of the others. We should start with her!” Spike’s face wiggled in a most amusing manner, at the mention of the fashionista’s name. “Very well then.” Picard said concretely. “Rarity, it is.”

Author's Note

I started this fanfiction a while back, and importantly before "Keep Calm and Flutter On" was ever announced. This fanfiction is set before the events of Keep Calm and Flutter On.

Part 5: In Q Fashion

Sighing with a thoroughly considered decision to make the most of the situation, Twilight, with Spike on shoulders, marched alongside Captain Picard through the streets of Ponyville. If the citizens were already wary of the stranger from the Federation, they were now doubly so, with the presence of yet another human. Very few eyes even made any manner of connection to Twilight Sparkle save for the cutie mark badge upon her chest. The only pony to express a demeanor of curiosity, rather than keeping a safe distance, was a strange green unicorn with a lyre image upon her flank. She followed the Captain and Twilight closely, but keeping her distance, as it was certainly evident that they were in the middle of something serious.

Together, the trio approached a clearing where a grandiose, circular building resided. Nearing the door, Twilight stood featuring a look of contemplation. Facing the Captain, she explained with a degree of amusement. “Um, Captain? I think I better go explain the situation to Rarity first. We wouldn’t want to alarm her.” Noting the still evident distance that most ponies kept, Picard nodded in agreement. “No, I understand, Miss Twilight. It’s probably for the best.”

Behind Twilight, however, a youthful voice cleared its throat, garnering their attentions. Twilight tilted her head backwards, experiencing the humanoid structure and actually starting to enjoy experiencing her world through a different means of being. The voice came from Spike. “Um, Twilight? Don’t you think that maybe I should go in and explain?” Twilight rolled her eyes, and look to Picard. “I shouldn’t be surprised, Spike’s always had –“ Before Twilight could finish, Spike quickly spoke over her in a much louder tone. “Twilight! That’s not it.” Twilight raised an eyebrow and mused, “Then what is it, Spike? Why would it be so much better for you to go in first?”

“Well,” Spike began. “It might have something to do with the fact that you look just like he does.” Twilight patted her body down briefly; having forgotten for a moment that she was, in fact, no longer technically a pony. Laughing, pseudo-embarrassed at the minor lack of recollection of her situation, she surrendered to the suggestion as he hopped to the ground. Picard smiled his typical expression of appreciation. “Thank you, Spike. I believe you’re probably right. Twilight and I will wait here until Miss Rarity has been informed.” With little else to be said, Spike opened the door to Carousel Boutique and strolled inside, calling for Rarity.

While Twilight looked around the streets of Ponyville, she noted that the pony known as Lyra was still hanging about. Twilight rolled her eyes to the sky, and hung her head briefly. The pony Lyra was a good pony, but even amidst the strange events that seemed to strike Equestria, she was considered a bit of an odd bird. “Oh, just come over here, already!” Twilight bleated out. The vibrant pony trotted up happily. “What are you two?” Lyra asked the now human Twilight, looking over their persons very thoroughly. Twilight shook her head, and answered. “I’m Twilight! Twilight Sparkle!’ She explained, a little annoyed at the lack of observation of her uniform’s adherence to her former appearance.

“Wait.” Lyra responded. “The Unicorn?” Twilight instinctively ran a hand across her face. “Yes.” She said bluntly. “The unicorn. This is Captain Picard. He’s from very, very far away, and he is what is called, a human, right Captain?” Picard nodded, and gave a brief explanation as to his origins on the Enterprise, and the arrival in Equestria. “Alright, I get him being ‘human’.” Lyra started, “But if you’re Twilight Sparkle, then how are you-“ Yet before she was able to finish her question, the door opened halfway, with Spike sticking his head out of the gap. “Rarity’s ready!” He called. “I think.” He added lowly.

“Oh, gee!” Twilight exclaimed, “We have to go now! Maybe you can talk to the Captain before he goes back home!” Lyra looked at the trio with a bit of doubt. It was clear that they had business, however, and Lyra was a little odd, not rude. She trotted off after saying a brief goodbye. Picard stepped through the doors of the elegantly decorated shop, somehow not as surprised or taken aback by Lyra’s behavior as one would have expected. “That was certainly enlightening.” Picard stated comically.

The interior was beautiful, and wrought with all manner of equine mannequins and holders for fabric and designs. Even having come from a life filled with space travel and starships for a great many years, it was beyond evident what sort of pony this Rarity was. Clearly, she was some sort of designer tailor for the ponies of this village. Spike called up to Rarity, who was still finishing some work in one of her upstairs rooms, and let her know that Twilight and Picard had come in.

After a brief wait of no more than three minutes, the fabulous white unicorn gracefully gaited down the stairwell. Her eyes widened at the sight of Picard and human Twilight, as she stood frozen for a handful of seconds that in the awkward silence, felt like a veritable century. “Err.” Twilight mouthed quietly. “You did tell her we were humans, right Spike?” Spike looked up to Twilight and shrugged. “I told her!” He said in a half whisper. There was no need to speak quietly, however, as Rarity’s opinion soon became evident.

Charging up towards Twilight and Picard, she darted around their persons, examining their proportions and clothing. “Oohh!” Rarity squealed in genuine appreciation. “Look at you! For an… ape?” She said, trying to sound as respectful as possible. “You look absolutely dashingly distinguished!” From behind the Captain, she wound her way to the front, looking at his Federation communication badge. “AND THIS UNIFORM.” She continued, “It is MAGNIFICENT. The location of the color, balanced across in this subtle, simple, and yet perfectly balanced angle… it’s marvelous!”

She wandered around to Twilight’s face, looking her over very close, almost touching noses. “Twilight~,” The excited unicorn began, “I simply LOVE your uniform. It’s very you!” Twilight threw her hands up into the air and squinted her eyes out of half frustration, while still partially flattered by the compliments. “Rarity! We need to talk to you!” Rarity paused, grinning with unequalled joy at the prospect of fashion, literally, from another world. “Of course, darling! What is it?”

“Yes,” Picard assisted. “Miss Rarity, I appreciate your admiration of my people’s military fashion, but I’m afraid Twilight is right. We have some urgent business to attend to, and we need you.” Rarity’s eyes changed from unabashed jollity to a thoughtful observance. “What is it, Twilight?” She asked properly and calmly. Twilight simply spoke the one name that could possibly sum up the situation, and instantly Rarity’s face winced, remembering the utter chaos and lunacy that Discord had sewn.

“I understand, Twilight. Have you talked to the girls about this yet?” Rarity questioned, moving about the immediate area to prepare to lock up and leave. Twilight walked towards the door again, waiting for the fashionista to finish her preparations. “Not yet, you’re the first. I was thinking we could get Pinkie Pie next, and then find the others.” Rarity marched towards the doors after arranging the last of her things, allowing Spike, Picard, and Twilight to leave before her. “Mm.” She agreed with naught but a sound. “She would be closer than Sweet Apple Acres and Fluttershy’s cottage.”

“Oohhhh giiiirrrls!” Discord’s voice cooed from nowhere once again. A gasp escaped Rarity’s mouth, and she stood in a well-grounded stance. “Ah, Rarity! The resident fashionista!” He proclaimed, with an over exaggerated accent placed upon the word. “Tell me, Rarity. Are you still carrying around… what was it?” Rarity and Twilight both narrowed their eyes and scanned the area, as did Picard, who now held his phaser in his hand. “Ah yes, Tom, I believe?”

Rarity spotted the silhouette of Discord amongst the wall of a nearby building. “Your tricks are not going to work on us again, you… you… ill mannered ruffian!” Discord slinked onto the ground like a snake, and his body straightened up before the four. “Ah, they certainly will not, it seems!” Discord looked over to Picard with a knowing smirk. “Oh, Picard. Mon Capitan! You look lonely without your crew.” Picard tilted his head with a sudden frown of suspicion. “Q?” He asked out of instinct. Discord laughed and pointed at Picard. “Oh, you’re all just TOO much fun!”

Discord stood back up straight and his demeanor suddenly changed. “If you’re feeling a little lost without a crew behind you, Captain, perhaps we can arrange you some new recruits!” Discord cocked his body and arms back, arching his fingers into a clawed position. As he thrust his hands forward, the green unicorn Lyra jumped forward to push the group out of the way, but only ended up being a part of the target. When the smoke cleared, Discord was once again gone, and two new humans stood with Picard. A short girl with long teal hair in a ponytail stood up out of the dust, her uniform color a very turquoise green. Twilight had a blank expression on her face and asked, “Lyra.” Lyra looked side to side before realizing what had happened. “You had an idea of what he was going to do, didn’t you?”

Lyra smiled sheepishly, and began twiddling her thumbs, with fingers interlaced. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She said before starting to walk off. Twilight shouted to her before she had moved even a few feet, “You know that you have to come with us now, right?” To which Lyra sighed, and grinned again. “Ah well. So then, the Captain can tell me more, right?” Twilight once again found only exasperation to convey. Suddenly, from behind Twilight and Lyra, a tall, thin, and stunningly beautiful girl appeared. Her uniform top beheld an ivory white contrasting against the standard issue black, with diamond marks upon the breast. Long, luxurious purple hair in a striking curl rested upon her back. “Rarity?” Twilight and Spike both spoke in awe, Spike’s mouth sitting agape. Rarity pulled her now human hands to her mouth, curled into almost fists. “Aren’t I simply MARVELOUS?!” She proclaimed with utter joy.

Part 6: Party For Q

“I have to admit, Twilight, I was a little… ah… skeptical at first?” Came the prim and proper melody of the fashionista to her friend. Twilight asked in almost involuntary response, “Skeptical of what, Rarity?” The elegant and proper lady walked with grace. “Of this of course! I find that regardless of what one is, one can always look their best. We just happened to be the lucky ones! These uniforms are simply divine, Captain!”

“Miss Rarity, the uniforms Discord put you into are not any standard issue of the Federation. The color and iconography-“
“Match how we look as our proper pony selves!” Rarity exclaimed, cutting off the Federation Captain. “I mean, your uniform of Red with your little badge is very commanding and regal. Simplistic, yet demanding. It is the pinnacle of practical fashion for the military man!” Picard offered a look of both amusement and partial exasperation. Fashion was hardly at the top of the list in the Federation’s uniforms.
“Now this, however,” Rarity continued with a little squeal of joy, “This is just to die for! And you say that these colors are not standard issue at all? I can understand our cutie marks of course, but this makes them entirely one of a kind!” She finished her little rant on the fashion of Starfleet, by pointing out how she found it so very intriguing, but that the pony uniforms were indeed superior.

They strange group continued to walk through the town, finding a road leading to Sugarcube Corner, finding the way exceptionally clear. It seemed that most ponies viewed the phenomenon with utmost suspicion. Despite the obvious workings of Discord’s lunacy, everyone that this human came into contact with ended up turning into one of his ape-like race. Most ponies enjoyed being ponies.

A little perturbed by the behavior of the villager ponies treating them like carriers of some twisted transformation disease; Captain Picard grunted out to a pony that rushed into a nearby shop simply to avoid walking past the human group, “Oh, come now. We are not ill! It’s nothing more than the mad workings of this Discord fellow!” The words did little to aid Picard in making the ponies any less afraid of the bizarre events in Ponyville, or the group associated with such happenings.

“Um, Captain?” Twilight asked, trying to sound as polite as possible. “I don’t think that’s really helping us.” Picard looked around the bare street, and noted the ponies peering out from windows and doorways. True enough, there were a good part of the population who cared little of the human group, having seen much stranger in the exploits of Twilight and her friends, but there were a good many who still were sketchy on being too near their company for fear of subsequent transformation.

“Yes.” Picard answered bluntly, reviewing the situation in full. “I suppose you’re right. So then, where are off to now? You said there were six, correct? We’re only missing three now?” Twilight, Rarity, and Spike all looked confused, before Twilight realized the misunderstanding. “Oh, no, Captain. There are four more of our friends we must find.” She looked behind the group, watching Lyra sauntering at a close distance, holding various things from around the town that she passed by. Apparently, Lyra was making gratuitous use of her newly acquired hands. As she looked up, smiling as wide as a field, she saw Twilight and Picard eyeing her strange obsession with hands, and quickly dropped a flower pot that she was thoroughly examining.

“Annnnyway,” Twilight continued, “That’s just a pony named Lyra. She isn’t one of the Elements of Harmony. We need to find Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy.” Picard took a moment to register the names. The naming scheme of their society was most curious. It reminded him of a strange kind of native naming scheme, as the names seemed to match a pony’s personality, natural talent, or status. It was all very interesting, honestly.

“Captain Picard?” Spike asked from Twilight’s shoulder. “Do you think that Discord and your Q are really the same guy?” Picard smiled, and glanced down to the young dragon. “Well, I don’t deny that the likelihood of such is particularly high. However, I simply do not know at this point. Everything here in your world is so… magical. Your world is run with magic and all sorts of workings that we don’t see much of where I come from; even amongst the multitude of worlds I’ve visited. We’ve mostly encountered illusions and advanced tricks to put up the pretense of true magic.”

Spike cocked an eyebrow. “So… that’s a yes?” Picard chuckled to himself, as Twilight grinned and shook her head. There was too much technical talk for young Spike. He was a smart little dragon, but there was no doubt that once the Captain passed a certain point of attempting to explain his knowledge and experience, that it was lost on him. Considering even Twilight Sparkle had been known to leave Spike wondering from time to time, Picard’s words must have been like another language.

“Basically, Spike,” Twilight explained, “The Captain is saying that he’s seen a lot of magic in his travels, but it was almost all just tricks and illusions.” Spike let out a long “Ohh” of understanding, while Rarity and Twilight giggled quietly. Picard continued, “My concern is that the only time I’ve seen anything resembling this sort of power, was my experiences with the being known as Q.” Picard remembered his experience with Q at Bre’el IV, where Q had been temporarily stripped of his powers, and sought frightened refuge amongst the Enterprise. The Captain briefly detailed those events, and how Q had displayed a gesture of genuine good will towards his crew, and in particular, Lieutenant Commander Data.

“So then, you’re saying that Q is not entirely bad?” Rarity questioned. Picard looked a little skeptical at the words, despite having said them himself at one point or another. “It would seem so. He had learned to tone it down, though I doubt that he’d ever entirely lose what makes him Q.” Twilight’s imagination was stoked, not by the tales of Q, for she had already listened to Picard explain that being on the train rides. What excited her was the tales of Bre’el IV, and of the android named Data. The fires of scientific understanding and knowledge echoed in her mind.

Twilight had been in the middle of questioning the Captain about said Android, when Spike’s prodding on her shoulder finally forced her to stop and loudly question why he had been poking her. Rarity answered the question with whimsy. “We’re at Sugarcube Corner, darling!” The girls looked to one another, and Picard was left wondering. “Um, Captain? There’s something you should be ready for.” He waited for an explanation, raising a hand, gesturing for Twilight to continue. “Pinkie Pie is… an interesting pony. She will be very…” Rarity interrupted, finishing the statement, “Loud. And very, very friendly.”

“Very well.” Picard replied, after mulling it over. “Certainly it can’t be worse than anything I’ve seen yet.” Together the group entered the sweets shop, and found a curly haired and very pink pony hopping around the store, evidently waiting for something to finish baking. The store was colorful, and wrought with all manner of sweets and treats. Suddenly, the pony froze upon seeing the crew, and let out a colossal gasp. She then proceeded to leap around the group rather excitedly, singing something about new friends and monkeys.

Amidst the hollering, Picard looked to Rarity. “Loud was right.” He mused. “Is this… normal of her?” The girls all nodded, except Lyra, who was apparently not concerned with anything, merely following the crew because she knew that she would have to be dealt with like the rest of the humanized ponies. Suddenly, Pinkie halted her utterly random singing and frolicking, and stopped in front of Picard. “Who are you?” She asked excitedly, “My name is Pinkie Pie! I’ve never seen a monkey like you before! You have all these clothes, and-“

“PINKIE PIE.” Twilight interjected. The pink pony stopped dead, and bolted before the purple uniformed Twilight, placing nose to nose. “Twilight? You’re a monkey too? Well this is just weird.” Rarity muttered something about ‘being weird’ and ‘irony’, causing Spike and herself to chuckle in the background. “Look, Pinkie. It’s a strange story, and a long one.” The magical Miss Sparkle reiterated everything they had already been forced to repeat before. It was a bit trying, having to repeat herself, but it was also necessary.

“So let me get this straight…” Pinkie started, “We need to get the elements together to stop Discord, OR this Q guy? AND he or they are turning everyone into monkeys with clothes?!” Picard massaged the bridge of his nose. “I know that humans are related to apes, similar to how ponies are related to donkeys, but can everyone please stop referring to my kind as ‘monkeys’?” Pinkie apologized briefly before returning to her usual bubbly demeanor.

“Oh, but Capitan, you are monkeys! Just look at how whimsically you have all been running around Ponyville!” The voice snaked throughout the room as Picard’s eyes widened. “Enough of this, Q!” he demanded, “Return these young ladies to their proper form, and take me back to my starship at once!” A colorful, multi tiered cake resting in the back of the shop sprang to life, and Discord popped out, this time having donned a Starfleet uniform of his own. It was red, just as Picard’s, and had the same badge, similar to how Q had worn when taking a human appearance.

“Q, I know that you are this Discord character!” Picard barked, while Discord only glanced around the room innocently. “How else would you know so much about me? You even use the same mannerisms as Q. Not to mention turning these people… er, ponies, into humans against their will!” Far in the back, Lyra raised her hand gently to argue that it was against her will, but Twilight brushed her hand down, leaving Lyra smiling partially embarrassed. Discord wound behind Lyra, “You see?” He rested his claw on her shoulder, patting her other shoulder with his paw hand. “Some ponies appreciate what I’ve done for them! You should be grateful!”

“Besides, Picard.” Discord cooed with almost serious implications, “Who says that your Q isn’t actually I, Discord? When I’m not locked away by Celestia, or the six Elements, I can do whatever I please, whenever I please! Have you ever though of that?” The possibility was real enough, but surely it was Q who had simply visitied this time and space under the guise of a moderately Equine being to wreak his chaos here. Pinkie Pie jumped up and yelled, “You can’t just do whatever you want! You can’t just barge into Sugarcube Corner! Especially not without chocolate milk rain and cotton candy!”

Discord halted, and looked over the group. “Hmm. I suppose you’re right.” Suddenly, his claw darted behind his back, and he pulled out a stick of cotton candy. “Here, Pinkie Pie. A gesture of good will. Hold this for me?” Pinkie looked over the stick very thoroughly, and tentatively reached for the cotton candy. Without warning, the cotton candy puffed up to easily five times its normal size, blocking their view of Discord. Chocolate milk sprinkled out in a short pop, forcing them to move back, lest they get sprayed themselves, and when the mist of chocolate milk had gone away, Discord was gone. Instead, standing in the front of the store was a human with puffy, curly pink hair. On her body was a Starfleet uniform whose top was a pastel pink, opposing the darker pink of her hair.

“Pinkie?” Rarity slowly asked into the air of the now quiet sweet shop. Twilight simply looked on, as another friend had become human. Pinkie turned around to face the rest of the group, holding the cotton candy, which had returned to its original size. She was happily munching away at it, with a great big smile on her face. “Ah well!” She spoke with a mouth full of candy, “More for me!” Spike couldn’t help but notice that Pinkie had already made use of her now human hands to tug the cotton candy into bits with while eating. “She certainly took that quite well.” Picard said to the side, directed towards Twilight, who only held a hand to her forehead. “This is going to be a long day, isn’t it Captain?”

Part 7: The Good, The Bad, and The Q

“I’ve gotta say, Pinkie, you’re taking being turned into a ‘human’ pretty well.” Twilight spoke sideways to the bouncy young woman waltzing along beside the group, playing with her fingers in almost a manner befitting a young child who was beginning to explore the world for the first time. This was understandable, realistically, despite the other ponies approaching the change in a more direct and less whimsical manner. “Well duh, Twilight. Why would I freak out? We’ve been through worse.” She answered light heartedly, though with a very valid point.

Twilight, Spike, and Rarity glanced at one another, and Spike shrugged. “She’s got a point.” The young dragon added, stating the obvious. Between turning to stone, frog-orange hybrids, and just about everything else from Poison Joke to Trixie, simply being turned into the same kind of creature that their new visitor was hardly seemed as vexing as, say, the Chyrsalis crisis. “Alright, then.” Captain Picard said bluntly, breaking the side discussion, “Who’s left for us to find?”

“That would be Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy.” Rarity stated. “They’re all a bit far away, so it’s anypony’s guess where they are. I’d wager Applejack would be our best bet. She works at Sweet Apple Acres, and is most likely there as we speak.” A valid point, Twilight thought. The ever-reliable Applejack had the easiest schedule to follow, due to her hard working nature, and her dedication to her family’s farm. “To Sweet Apple Acres, then!” Twilight exclaimed, pointing a finger instinctively, despite not actively knowing why exactly the motion came to her.

As the group marched on through town, Picard posed a question to the now humanized ponies. “That Discord fellow. You don’t suppose he’s going to drag us along on this redundant game of his, do you? Turning all of you into humans one at a time?”
Twilight frowned in thought, and looked to Spike curiously. “Well, I can’t really say, Captain. Discord is like a big, crazy child. He’s almost as likely to keep this going as long as possible as he is to completely changing his mind.” Picard let out a sound of quiet contemplation. He had posed the question about the use of his phaser weapon, but found it irrelevant, as the device had been removed from his person upon arrival in Equestria.

Twilight stated that she’d prefer to avoid weapons if possible. They always sought a method of subduing and stopping their adversaries, rather than inflicting any harm if possible. Picard agreed, his nature as a man of science and wit standing above his military knowledge and skill. The colorful squad of humans in chromatic Starfleet uniforms approached the edge of the town, where the dirt road to Sweet Apple Acres extended outward. Apple trees in the distance peppered the landscape, creating a beautiful field of green and red on the hills.

“Hey, what’s that?” Spike called out from Twilight’s shoulders, pointing into the sky above the farm in the distance. “Is that Rainbow Dash?” Something was whisking around the skies above Sweet Apple Acres, looping around the farm with no apparent purpose as it circled the barn. “What in the world is going on?” Twilight said, moving faster down the road, while still being wary of the limits of her new human body. Picard took the lead, with the others following at a hastened, albeit tentative pace. Fearful that Discord had gone to the farm before they were able to, they focused their attention on aiding the country pony if she were indeed in peril.

The group finally approached the main gate to the farm, when they saw that Rainbow Dash was indeed flying around the barn. At the closer distance, they could see that Applejack was standing on the second floor of the barn, leaning out the window where the pulley would lift hay bales. Various shouts of direction came from Applejack, as Rainbow Dash darted back and forth, evidently checking the rooftop for broken planks of wood and support beams. The group caught Applejack’s eye, and she simply hollered down without looking. “Oh hey, girls! How’s it goin’?”

“Applejack! Is everything ok here?” Rarity called up. Applejack followed Rainbow around the sky with her head, calling out a few more directions for the Pegasus. “Hey Dash! Put a couple nails in that corner beam, can ya?” AJ shouted, to which Rainbow confirmed with a “You got it!”, and flew to roof’s edge, and began knocking a crooked beam straight before beginning to fix it. AJ hollered down to the girls again. “Everything’s fine up here, gals. Rainbow’s just helpin’ me fix up some loose parts of the barn. The last storm that we had shook some wood loose up there!”
Rainbow stuck her head out from behind the wall for a moment. “Hey, it’s not like we meant for the wind to get that strong! Sheesh, you cause one little whirlwind and it haunts you forever.”

Applejack laughed it off, as Rainbow continued nailing the board. “Anyway gals, Dash’s wings make it easier for her to get to some of the spots that we’d need a awful big handful of Earth ponies to get to safely. How’s it-“ She cut herself off as she finally looked down to the group that Twilight had brought, and AJ’s eyes bugged out a little. She tried shaking her head, but it was clear that she wasn’t seeing things wrong. “Uhh. Dash? Can ya come here a minute?” Dash finished the last nail, and zipped over to AJ by the window. “What’s up, AJ? We done?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow and pointed to the others with a hoof. Dash slowly looked down, and jumped back in the air, with a sound that came out similar to ‘Eugh.’
“Is that… TWILIGHT? And Rarity? And Pinkie Pie and Lyra?” Rainbow Dash expressed in a very strange tone, that even Applejack had trouble putting a name on. AJ and Dash looked to one another before bursting out laughing. “What the hay happed to y’all? Ya look like-“
“Please, don’t say monkeys.” Picard requested before she had the chance to finish.
“Ah was gonna ask if Twilight had messed up a spell of some sort. Who’s this fella?” AJ mused down.

Picard went through the typical formaility of introducing himself, which even he had to admit, was getting tiresome at this point. All the moving back forth around town was one thing, but introducing himself properly at every meeting was becoming a chore. Due to the clear importance of the Six, however, he felt it necessary. “I take it you are Miss Applejack and Miss Rainbow Dash?” The captain inquired. AJ tilted her hat, and did her usual equine curtsey, while Dash flew down to meet the Captain face to face, giving AJ a chance to take the long way down through the barn.

“So you’re a Captain, huh?” Rainbow confronted Picard. “Eh. No offense, but you don’t look like much.” Twilight gave Dash a dirty look, making it clear that they were friends, and that the Captain was her guest and under her guidance in their land.
Picard answered cleverly, “Perhaps. But where I come from, you don’t gain rank for nothing. I lead one of the finest crews on one of the finest ships. The Enterprise is one of the fastest and most durable ships in our territory.” Dash raised an eyebrow.

“Fastest, huh? How fast we talking here? Because fast is what I do. I’ve heard of some boats before, but water isn’t exactly the fastest way to get around.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “He’s not talking about a ship that goes on water, Dash. Where he comes from, they have very different ships that can fly through the air, and through the stars!” Dash gave a look a surprise, quickly changing into disbelief. “Oh yeah? How fast can your ship go then?” Picard chuckled, and offered an answer quite plainly, which left the Pegasus’ mouth agape. “Faster-than-light travel.”

Rainbow shook it off, and spoke. “Okay. You’re gonna have to show me that sometime! I’ve never seen anyone, or.. haha… anything faster than me!” The clutter of hoofsteps came from behind Dash, as Applejack came galloping up from the barn. “Alright, so ah caught most of that. What’s goin’ on, Twilight? We’ve seen some weird stuff before, but… y’all look… really weird.” Twilight explained the situation with Discord, and proposed the general idea of the discussion as to whether or not Discord and Q were one and the same, or if somehow one of them pulled Picard into their world. The concept that they were indeed two different entities, let alone possible working together was more than a little frightening.

“Oh dear.” AJ muttered. “We gotta get to Fluttershy, then! We gotta hurry, and get the elements together!” Rarity suggested Dash take the initiative to show off her speed to the Captain, and get to Fluttershy’s cottage before Discord could do any more harm. “Alright, you wanna see fast, Captain? Check this out!” A loud thump resounded, as the immediate area darkened noticeably. Dash found herself bouncing headlong off of what seemed to be a rubber cloud. “Oohhhh no.” She let out in knowing distress.

“Ohhhh ho ho ho yes!” The ever-devious voice of Discord echoed. The creature’s horns and head protruded from behind the rubbery cloud, while his body formed out of the rest of the cloud’s mass, ultimately ending in the white tip of his tail. Twilight looked to Rarity and Spike, and whispered. “We need a distraction so we can get Dash to Fluttershy as soon as possible. AJ, think you can give me some help here?” AJ nodded, and ran behind Discord, trying to flank him.

“And just what do you think you’re going to do, Applejack? You ponies should know by now that you can’t stop Discord! At best you can hope to keep the chaos contained. But why not have a little fun!” Discord clicked his fingers, and a pile of hay tumbled onto AJ from above, leaving just her head poking out, her hat sagging down a little, and her eyes seething of irritation. Rarity’s voice darted from behind, causing him to turn around, and look upon the group again. “You are the most irresponsible, incoherent, and utterly uncouth beasts I’ve ever laid eyes upon! And that’s saying something, considering the Changelings were all made of carapace!” Discord yawned as Rarity taunted him, using his tail to cover his mouth, his arms and legs both crossed as though reclining in mid-air.

“Are we done yet?” He asked Rarity. “Maybe you’re just jealous of the fact that you look better as a monkey than as a pony?” All the group gasped except Picard. Even Lyra, who while she was not a close friend of the Six, knew them, and anypony knew Rarity was renowned as the fashion go-to-gal of Ponyville. “You! I! HOW DARE YOU.” Rarity huffed. Suddenly, applesauce smacked against the back of Discord’s head. He turned around instantly, and saw AJ bucking apples at him like projectiles. “Stop that, Applejack! Stop that this minute!” He cried, under a barrage of rejected apples from their harvest. “OW. I actually felt that one!”

Twilight looked to Dash, nodded, and watched as the rainbow Pegasus darted off into the distance at top speed. “That’s enough, now!” Discord exclaimed. “My word, Picard. Look at the sort you associate with now. After all you’ve been through and the kind of man you are, I would have expected you to stay in Canterlot, at least. How utterly dreadful these manners are!” Picard scowled. “I don’t know if you are Discord, or Q, or both, or neither! But We will get to the bottom of this, and you will answer for this misbehavior!”

Discord again yawned, as Applejack stopped her apple assault. “Well then, Picard. I’m sure you could use all the help you can get.” He twisted his body in mid-air like a spring, and coiled to face Applejack. “Let’s see how well you do on two legs, shall we?” Discord added a crooked smile, and released a white sparking blast at Applejack, before zipping up into the sky, where he lay flat upon a cloud, looking down at the grounded ponies-turned-humans. “Until next time, Capitaine! Hope you like your new crew!” The master of chaos’ form turned into cloud itself, before it all drifted away into the distant horizon.

In the midst of the clearing smoke where Applejack had been hit, another young woman stood up, wearing the same uniform as the other girls. Just like the others, the color adorning the top of her uniform was the same color as she had been while a pony. Orange filled the field on her top, with three apples as the mark where the Starfleet badge would rest. However, she maintained her cowgirl hat atop her tied blonde hair, which she appreciated at least. AJ walked nervously towards the group, getting used to the new form in fairly short order, just as the others had. “We gotta get to Fluttershy, gals.” AJ said. “If Discord finds her and Dash before we do, who knows what’ll happen!”

Part 8: Act 1, Scene Q

The girls raced through Ponyville’s streets as fast as their bipedal forms could carry them, trying their best to move with haste in their foreign bodies. While it was true that many situations had been similar throughout their adventures in Equestria, recalling the Poison Joke among other things. The alteration had nonetheless them a bit thrown for a loop. Discord’s antics never seemed particularly sinister, but this path seemed all the more treacherous. Evil intent may not be present, but Twilight could only wonder; which was worse? To fight against a defined threat, or to struggle against a powerful enemy which holds neither direction nor predictability?

Pinkie belted a remark about Discord not even having the decency to bring back the chocolate milk rain clouds, leaving the others shaking their heads. The Captain of the Enterprise, running alongside the formerly equine ponies asked the girls about their remaining friends. Applejack explained that while Rainbow was an excellent flyer, it was anybody’s guess as to whether or not she’d be able to help Fluttershy in time. “Discord is a dangerous creature, Captain.” Twilight added. “If he really is anything like your Q, then you already know that our resistance very well may be futile.”

The Captain gave a short grunt of a laugh, the cause of which Twilight and the girls did not understand, and which Picard did not bother explaining at such a time. Spike mused about what Picard would be able to do to help. He didn’t intend to sound as abrupt as he had, but Picard understood the general message. “To be honest, my dragon friend, I’m not entirely sure. Normally, I’d have my phaser. It’s a kind of weapon with various settings. Everything from a mild stun to… more potent blasts. In your world, even if I had my weapon, I am unaware of the entirety of your customs. I presumed to let you lot take the lead in this mission.”

Some of the other ponies felt the answer a bit over their heads, but Twilight being the well-learned bookworm she was, translated in layman’s terms. Rarity called up from just behind the Captain’s shoulder. “So, Captain Picard? If this Q fellow and Discord are working together, what should we do about Q? Discord is dreadful, yes, but we don’t know anything about how to handle this horrendously indifferent Q you’ve described!” He recognized the possibility of Q and Discord actually being one and the same. He’d mentioned before that on different planets and across different cultures universe wide, Q had taken a veritable legion’s legion of shapes and incarnations to scour the galaxy.

“Well, Miss Rarity…” Picard began, finding the words coming short. To be honest, he had been focusing on the idea that Q and Discord were the same, but if they were in fact two similar, albeit utterly individual entities? The possibilities were endless, and in such a way as to make the Captain’s head spin. Continuing to move at an accelerated pace through town, Picard continued. “I’m actually not sure. Their combined forces could be too great a threat for us, or the safety of your world. Heaven forbid they found reason to fight one another. Assuming of course they are separate.”

Rainbow Dash rocketed high above the rooftops of the town, zipping through the sparse clouds, eyes locked on the horizon. Fluttershy’s cottage wasn’t far, and with the knowledge of the Six, she knew Fluttershy would be in trouble. The girls, Spike, and the Captain weren’t far behind ultimately, but Dash’s superior speed via wingpower kept her rapidly and repeatedly disappearing over houses and storefronts, until she had vanished in the distance. The tree line had been growing slowly nearer, and appropriately, it wasn’t terribly surprising when Dash was forced to slow down just enough to be able to navigate the foliage, and come to a halt in front of the cottage door.

The trees were thickening before the small squad of humans, plus one dragon, as they hurried down the path. Each of the girls were breathing heavily from the running, having not been accustomed to heavy exercise in the human bodies. Appropriately fit though they were, relative to their normal pony nature, the sheer exertion in bipedal form was wearing heavily on their stamina. Equine physiology was naturally suited for running long distance and at lengthy intervals.

Dash thundered upon the porch, knocking heavily on the door with her hooves. An audible gasp echoed from inside the home, followed by Dash calling Fluttershy’s name. The intensely reserved Pegasus sheepishly opened the front door, nervously scanning the area around Dash. “Rainbow Dash?” Her frail voice hummed. “What’s going-“

Rainbow Dash cut Fluttershy off, sprinting inside the doorway, slamming it shut behind them. “No time! Has anything weird happened here yet?” She zipped beside Fluttershy, peering out the window to keep watch for the others. Fluttershy cautiously approached the window, eyeing over Rainbow’s shoulder. “Weird?” Fluttershy repeated, concerned for Dash and the animals more than anything. “No. What’s going on?”

“You gotta stay with me.” Dash stated abruptly. “Discord is-“ Shockingly enough, it was then Fluttershy’s turn to cut off Rainbow Dash. Typically unusual unless something of enough importance or danger was present, Fluttershy remained the same conservatively spoken pony. “DISCORD?” She erupted. “Oh my! We have to talk to Twilight!”

“I know!” Rainbow answered. “The others already know! We’re the only two who haven’t… um…” Fluttershy looked very confused, and for very good reason. “The only two who haven’t what?” Fluttershy pondered aloud. Rainbow yanked as many curtains shut as she could, and waited by the door. The sound of footsteps clattering across the ground drew progressively closer with every second. “You’ll see.” Rainbow finished, a touch of nervousness shadowed on her own tone as well.

Several raps came from the door, to which Dash yanked it open, allowing the group to be seen. Fluttershy released a tiny scream of fright from being immediately startled by the appearance of the simian creatures. Dash prevented her from fleeing into the rest of the house, and during this brief struggle, if it could be called such, the timid Pegasus noticed the emblems on the uniforms of her friends.

“Rarity? Applejack? Twilight?” Her voice transitioned into curiosity, though she remained at a distance. “What’s going on? Why do you look like that?” Twilight led the others in, closing the door behind the Captain with some degree of modestly amused difficulty with her human hands. Twilight directed Fluttershy to listen to the Captain, after a brief introduction to their new friend and their shared situation.

Fluttershy’s eyes remained wide, reeking of utter fright at the concept of essentially two Discords on the loose. “What can we do?” she could only meekly question in response. Rarity and Applejack pondered the situation with one another, while Fluttershy, Twilight, and the Captain spoke amongst themselves. Pinkie and Spike hung surprisingly quietly over their shoulders, lending a theoretical, if not entirely unthought-of idea. Pinkie mused the idea of The Mirror Pond, which was seemingly ignored entirely by the group.

Fluttershy took note of Lyra’s hands finding themselves perpetually pestering Rainbow Dash’s mane, tail, and wings. Ever the odd fascination with the bipedal form, Lyra couldn’t help was examine the pony body from the human perspective. She had been so quiet that the other had all but forgotten that she was even still with them. “Lyra, do you mind?!” Rainbow exclaimed, trying to ignore the irritation. The curious girl threw her hands behind her back, forcing herself to stop with an apologetic, albeit not entirely sincere smile.

Twilight spoke directly to the entire group, even catching Captain Picard by surprise by the direct and well-spoken leadership. “Alright, all we have to do is get to the Elements of Harmony. With any luck, we’ll be able to put Discord back into stone before he makes this place any more hectic than it already is!” The Captain understood the general idea of the Elements at this point. During their travels between Ponyville and Canterlot, as well as a few words during their transitions on foot in the town, Twilight and a couple of the others had enlightened him briefly on the subject.

Twilight asked Fluttershy to fetch some paper and a quill, to which the little Pegasus hurried off into the adjacent room without hesitation. “Spike, I’m going to need you to send a letter to the Princess. She has to know what’s going on!” Twilight directed. Spike hopped to the floor, taking the quill and paper Fluttershy had rapidly retrieved. He scurried onto the nearby couch that rested in the room, while the other remained standing to discuss the matter at hand.

“With Discord still loose, it’s only a matter of time before he strikes again!” Rarity emphasized. Applejack followed with direct words of concern. “Even if he learned from last time, he still loves chaos like a bumblebee loves flowers! If we give him too much time, he’ll come find us on his terms!”

“Spike, you get that letter sent yet?” Twilight asked the young dragon, to which there was no reply. “Spike?” She added, turning to the couch. Instead of a baby dragon, a small purple monkey-like animal sat upon the cushions, eyes staring with utter contempt. “SPIKE!” Twilight shouted, the others turning to see what had become of their scaly young friend.

“Discord’s here!” Pinkie cried out, clutching onto Fluttershy, while the Pegasus tried awkwardly to do the same with the humanoid Pinkie. “Spike is a monkey!” Rarity spoke, peering closer at the tiny purple ball of fur. That infamous voice called from somewhere around the house while the group remained in an uproar. “A monkey?” It didn’t exactly sound like it was coming from inside, but to place the source would be a nearly impossible task. “I thought that’s what you all kept referring to yourselves as this whole time.”

“Discord!” Rainbow Dash accused. With a shining column of vertical light, a new human figure appeared in the room with them. The brown haired man stood, wearing an red Star Fleet officer’s uniform, similar to that of the Captain. “Q.” Picard spoke with spite. The girls attempted to maintain a semi circle around the new figure, but at Twilight’s discretion, they kept a cautious distance. If this was indeed the Q the Captain spoke of, then they would need the utmost vigilance. However, if it was an illusion of Discord being used as a ploy against Captain Picard, then they would be more easily prepared for the situation.

“You know, you are certainly a curious man, Jean-Luc.” Q began, walking around the room, ignoring the presence of the girls, nor the Pegasus ponies, all of whom were staring him down. “No matter what the situation, you always take the road of diplomacy and friendship over violence.” Picard’s face wrinkled ever so slightly with an expression of stress. “One doesn’t need to resort to violence and trickery when he doesn’t get his way, Q. Put an end to these charades at once! You’ve had your fun, now let us all be!”

Q strode before the Captain, placing a hand on his shoulder, which Picard shrugged off in pure irritation. “What are you talking about Picard? You refer to your presence here in Equestria? Or the little dragon fellow?” He placed his hands on Rarity’s shoulders from behind, and leaned in closely. “By the way, he’s a Loris.” Q continued his rounds, Fluttershy taking a moment to look over Spike’s fluffy form, before looking at the stranger.

“All of it, Q!” Picard roared, unapologetic. “We’ve all had more than enough of your games!” A most disdainful scoff burst from Q’s lips. “Oh Picard. You still haven’t learned anything about me? For all the places you’ve been and all the races you’ve met, you still don’t know a thing about me?”

“I know enough. At best, you help us out of convenience or whimsical curiosity.” Captain Picard huffed. “I’ve seen enough of you to last a lifetime, even at your best.” Q narrowed his eyes before rolling them with exaggerated intent. Twilight and the others remained silent, save for a momentary outburst to demand all of their return to their normal bodies. Q answered them with stunning revelation. “Oh yes, I could do all this for you, but then you wouldn’t really learn anything, would you?”

“Q, what on earth are you…” Picard started, before realizing that the Pegasus ponies standing behind the entity from the Continuum were now in fact humans. Appropriately, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash wore pastel yellow and sky blue Star Fleet uniforms, pocked with their cutie marks when the Star Fleet badge would rest. Q turned around to see what the Captain and others were staring at. Eyeing the girls in their new human bodies, Q returned his eyes to the Captain, and only muttered in response. “Well now. Isn’t that curious?”

Part 9: Who are Q?

Torso still twisted, Q stood in an attempt to look over his shoulder at the two newly transformed pegasi. “My my, most curious indeed!” He stated in what could be accepted as genuine interest from Q. Picard stepped forth and held his ground in frustrated contempt against the powerful entity. “Q, set this right at once! We’ve had enough of your games. There is no grand lesson here. It is simply another of your games.”

Q looked abashed. “Very well, Jean-Luc. I can set this as it should be, but I assure you that I have no idea what is going on here in your beloved Ponyville.” Picard rolled his eyes, as Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all offered stern expressions. Twilight Sparkle even instinctively crossed her arms, though she did not understand why the natural instinct came to her. Q stood for a moment in silence, observing the reactions of the now human ponies.

Sighing a breath of surrender, Q whipped his hands into the air. “Oh very well.” He snapped his fingers, and the ponies all returned to their natural bodies. Spike as well returned to his normal form. In a flash of light, Spike was suddenly twice as large, although still a baby dragon, and the girls had returned to their humanized versions. Picard narrowed his eyes, and snapped. “Q! Enough of this!”

Q snapped his fingers again, putting everything right, before they again found themselves confronted by everypony being turned into altered forms of themselves. “Well this isn’t normal.” Q muttered to himself. The quip was audible to all, though Q did not care. Picard again insisted that Q end his games, to which the almighty being insisted that he was taking no part in the transformations back into altered incarnations.

The ponies all returned to their humanized forms, with Spike, once more, a small purple Loris on Twilight’s shoulder. The little purple primate crossed his arms, and gave Q an expression denying amusement. As Picard was about to lecture Q once more, a sudden snap resonated, and where Picard was, there stood a beige earth pony with a dark red, almost maroon tail. The mane was missing, which led to only one conclusion.

The entirety of the room was staring at the new pony. Q walked slowly to the new figure, and looked it over, almost touching, but knowing better, despite his unrivaled power. “Well then. I must say your bald head is MUCH better suited to being human.” Q quipped with a mix of genuine amusement and intrigue. The pony exclaimed in response, “What the devil are you talking about? What do you mean, ‘human’?”

Q snapped his fingers again, placing a short standing mirror before the Captain, who now realized what everypony had been looking at. HE was the new pony in the room. Just as the girls had been turned human, Jean-Luc Picard had now become one of the pony-kind. His eyes fell to a most irritated half-lidded position.

A bizarre laughter filled the room, to which even Q searched for the source of. Shortly thereafter, that familiar voice echoed from every crack of wood. A nearby Angel Bunny ran for cover under a table, remembering events past. A sudden whip crack noise broke the uncomfortable silence, and the entirety of the gathering found themselves outside in the center of town.

Before them stood Discord, tall and proud. The mighty creature bent over laughing heartily. “Oh! Oh! You should all see yourselves!” He slid around the legs of the girls, wrapping himself around Picard’s pony shoulders, prodding his bald head. “And YOU! What a delight! As if bringing a little mischief and disorder to this place wasn’t enough… YOU are so utterly unaware of ANYthing here! It is SO. MUCH. FUN!” The great Draconequus thundered with laughter once more.

Picard’s pony eyes retained their stare of contempt, directed this time at Discord. Q walked forward towards the creature, expressing thoughtfulness and curiosity on his human face, whilst pointing a finger towards the beast. “And who exactly are you? I refuse to believe that in all my time in this utterly predictable universe, I would have never met you. Whether or not I even knew what you were.” Discord bent over, examining Q thoroughly, offering a cunning smile, and rubbing Q’s head and neck with his claws, as though investigating some scientific discovery.

Discord looked to the former ponies, and leaned close to Twilight. “Oh!He’s just like me!” The Draconequus held a hand up, making an impractical and theatrical display of falsified cloak and dagger. “It’s the voice.” Q teleported next to the now Captain, now a pony, and leaned on his equine shoulders with an arm. Discord, shook his head, and slithered back around to the front of the group.

“I am Discord. Master of all chaos, spirit of disharmony, blah blah blah…” Discord snapped his fingers, and the surrounding houses started changing colors every time the minute hand on the face of Ponyville’s clock tower shifted forward. The girls all began heatedly explaining and considering how to act in this situation, while Q simply walked forward again. “Yes yes, I’m sure you’re an amazing force of nature.”

“SUPER nature.” Discord corrected. “I may be Draconequus, but I still have unrivaled powers of change! There’s nothing that isn’t mine to play with!” Q’s eye quirked a little at the inadvertent challenge. “Really, now?” Q offered, considering a myriad of possibilities in his limitless intelligence. Q flashed with a spark of light once again, and stood in traditional French military garb from the early 1700’s of Earth. “Well then, Discord, perhaps you’d like to test your theory?”

Discord laughed, and danced across the room, between pony and human alike, until he disappeared, emerging from Q’s tricorner hat as a pair of eyes at first, and then slithering out into his normal Discord form, albeit wearing the same French general’s uniform top. “You want to play? Fine! Let’s play then, and see who the real master of chaos is!” Discord shouted gleefully before vanishing with a pop.

Picard hoofed forward in his new pony form, snapping at Q from behind his back. “Q! What the devil are you doing? This is no time to test your ego!” Q smirked over his shoulder and put an arm around Picard’s pony neck. “Oh hush, Picard. There is no ‘test’ here.” He spoke with utter disdain and contempt. “I am Q. There is hardly a force in the entire universe that could even come close to the power I wield with the most involuntary of thoughts.” This did very little to convince Picard, who in his time of knowing the creature, had witnessed disaster both caused by, and directed towards Q.

“It’s not like… he…” Q said, carefree, until they looked around and found themselves in the middle of Canterlot Castle’s throne room. The Royal Guard snapped to attention, directing their spears at the gathering, which had cracked into existence. From the throne, Princess Celestia galloped down to oversee the ruckus. “Twilight Sparkle?” The Princess asked, astonished. “Is that you, and your friends?”

Discord enveloped the room, altering the colors, and changing the stained glass to shift and create vivid displays. All of which, excluding a part of Pinkie Pie, found irritating rather than entertaining. “Princess, there’s no time to explain right now. Something terrible is happening, and I don’t know how to stop it!” Twilight replied hurriedly. Q snapped his fingers, and the room went back to normal, before Discord flat out inverted it. Q responded by replacing the castle in its natural position, to which Discord in turn reacted by bringing the tapestries to life to encircle their location.

Q turned over his shoulder to Picard and spoke in mild frustration. “Oh, well this is just getting irritating.” He raised both his hands and snapped both fingers simultaneously, bringing everything back to normal, from the ponies and Picard to the throne room. Celestia sighed, as Discord seemed to be missing from the room. Stepping forth with ease now, she inquired to Twilight as to the situation of things.

Twilight and her five best friends proceeded to relay the events that had unfolded to the Princess, while Spike and Lyra stood behind with the Captain. Lyra turned to Spike as the Princess spoke with the girls, and questioned with a whisper. “So… should I just go now?” Spike shrugged, figuring they’d stay still until the Princess dismissed them. Q walked in front of the Princess, interrupting. “Excuse me… Celestia, was it?” She eyed the humanoid Q over before allowing him to proceed. “If I may, this Discord fellow seems to be awfully powerful compared to even the most magical of you ponies.”

He muttered something under his breath about how insignificant their power was compared to his own natural Q abilities, but continued with as much respect as one could expect from Q. “If I may, your highness, I find your Discord character to be highly intriguing. He reminds me so much of… well… me! A much younger me, perhaps, but still, intriguingly disruptive.” Twilight turned to Applejack and whispered, “How did he know that Discord was originally turned to stone?” Applejack and Rarity glanced at each other and exchanged expressions of worry as Q and the Princess continued discussing matters.

Many, many miles above, beyond the edge of the atmosphere, the real Q stood on the moon, staring down at a distant and full view of Equestria. Standing on the cold and grey ground, Q crossed his arms. “Not bad, Discord.” Q spoke, simultaneously impressed as well as irked. “I can see my test for you will have to be much more intensive than I ever tested Jean-Luc.” With a sudden blink of the eye, Q snapped off the surface of the moon, leaving a small trail of grey dust spiraling upwards in the modest gravity.

Q reappeared in the throne room, standing beside the imposter. He snapped his fingers, and returned Discord to his proper form, to which Discord replied by turning Q into a Discord incarnation as well. “I have to say, Discord, I applaud your talent for getting on everyone’s nerves.” Q spouted at the creature. While remaining in his Discord body, he leaned to Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, speaking bluntly. “I can see why you want him frozen again so badly.”

Jean-Luc Picard raised an eyebrow with a clever smile. “Now you can understand how I feel, every time you make a visit to my ship, Q.” The near-omnipotent being lowered his eyes to half-mast in exasperation. “Oh, ha ha, Picard. Very clever.” Discord danced around his transformed twin, before adding to the conversation. “I thought so too!” He shouted, bringing in several more incarnations of himself, summoned to distract and confuse. Q snapped himself back to his chosen human form, and popped the other Discords out of existence. Just as fast, however, Discord was making more appear, sometimes in various colors or patterns.

The war of dissonance carried on for a seeming eternity, passing only minutes in real time, as the chaos made each moment drag on for figurative eons. From time to time the ponies and humans would transform back and forth between human and pony form, Spike excluded, now cowering behind Princess Celestia for safety. Finally, Discord and Q both threw their hands up, summoning their powers of reality alteration, and with a sickening crackle, the six bearers of the Elements of Harmony, Captain Picard, Spike, Princess Celestia, Q, and Discord alike found themselves in an open field, seemingly a tear between space and time.

The sky was an altered blue-black, evidently stuck between daytime and dusk. Clouds of white and brown littered the sky, while the ground and landscape resembled a normal Ponyville, only with minor changes making things just a little off. As a breeze came through their hair and manes, strange lines accompanied the current of air. Transparent and intangible, the lines seemed to almost BE the wind itself, as though the lines seen in cartoons and comic strips. Discord gave a hearty laugh. “Well, THIS is just PERFECT!”

Q looked around, observing the situation. Twilight and Picard demanded information from Q at the same time, to which Q simply replied. “We appear to be stuck in a rather strange space. It’s not quite reality, but not quite outside of the fabric of time and space.” Picard considered the Q Continuum, among other things, but Q dismissed the concept. “Not at all, Jean-Luc. The Continuum wouldn’t allow someone like Discord in our home.” Picard was about to make a remark about Q’s personality, to which Q simply advised him to remain silent.

The Draconequus laughed a gleeful and joyous laugh at the utter lack of cohesion in this place, and spoke to Q. “Oh, call it what you will, but this place is like home to me! If only I could bring it to your dull little Ponyville.” He added with a tone of bored frustration. Q ignored the creature and added to Twilight and her friends. “It appears we made this little pocket dimension when our attempted use of powers on each other clashed. This creature is more potent than I would have thought… but he is no Q.”

Part 10: It Takes Q

Once again, back in their natural bodies, but stuck in this bizarre comic-like world, Fluttershy leaned her head towards Twilight, while the two near omnipotent beings exchanged a myriad of witty insults and riddles. The timid Pegasus spoke quietly amid the ruckus. “I guess it could be worse. I would have thought the two of them would get along, since they’re so much alike.”

“Oh darling, sometimes the closest personalities clash the most.” Rarity contributed from the side. “Discord is such a prima-donna, it’s no wonder he feels threatened by Q’s stronger powers.” As the fashionista spoke these words, Discord stopped short, and peered over Q’s neck to eyeball the beautiful mare. “Hey!” He shouted, within an exasperated hacking noise, as though thoroughly shocked by the prospect of being labeled inferior in might to anypony else.

“What do you mean, I feel threatened?” Discord questioned, sounding more than a little insulted. Rarity walked forward, past Applejack and Rainbow Dash, who appeared to be conversing amongst themselves with Lyra and Spike about a way out. Rarity giggled gently to herself, aware of what she had provoked. “Oh, it’s nothing really. We’ve all seen what you can do. You corrupted each of us, bent reality, and literally turned the world upside down. But there’s no shame in feeling threatened by Q!”

Again, Discord hacked in appalled insult. “Threatened? By this… space monkey? There is nopony in the world who can compare to my chaotic power!” Q, watching Rarity converse with Discord in curiosity, crossed his arms, smiling to himself in amusement. Even though he didn’t NEED such praise, the attributed compliments to his power make him smirk. Q always thought it amusing when lesser creatures knew his strength, and even more so when they thought it something to respect, fear, or worship. Obviously Rarity’s reverence for his might came from a strictly theatrical standpoint, but Q was content taking it for what it was.

Discord however, was not. He marched up to the militantly dressed Q, and prodded his chest with a finger from his eagle claw. “Listen, pal.” Discord said, with an obvious tone of frustration in his voice. “I was here first, and while you might be some being from another dimension, I am of Chaos itself! Born of magic!” Q yawned in theatrical boredom, and clicked his fingers together. This teleported Discord some handful of meters away with a crackling pop, now appearing as a very twisted looking humanoid. He appeared similar in appearance to Q’s Starfleet incarnation, but with long white eyebrows, a spindly white goatee, and a mish-mash of colors on both the top and pants of the uniform.

Discord searched himself over, and dropped his hands and half-lidded eyes in irked acceptance. “You know, Discord.” Q began arrogantly. “I could end this right now. Blink you right out of existence, send you a million universes away, turn you into a llama, perhaps, stripped of all his chaos based powers? But I won’t. We’ll go about this the proper way. If there’s anything I’ve taken from my time with the Captain here, it’s that there are processes and order that must be followed in the universe.”

“Only when it is convenient for you, you mean.” Picard quipped from the sidelines, as the spirit of chaos stared down Q, attempting to revert his form back into his true self. Q didn’t so much as turn around, but simply responded with a, “Hush, Picard.” Discord finally managed to get himself into his original form. Q pondered quietly to himself, with a finger on his chin. Captain Picard knew this was never a good thing. The question here was whether or not this would be against Discord’s favor, or against everyone’s favor.

“Now then, Discord.” Q began, walking slowly around the tall creature. “Clearly our little scuffle is getting on your nerves. To be honest, I’d be right there with you, if I weren’t utterly certain that I’m infinitely more powerful than anything this pony-filled planet could offer.” Discord’s eyes dropped again in exasperation at Q’s lack of humility and disinterest in the feelings of others. Which surprised the Draconequus, as he cared little for the friendship or thoughts of anypony else.

“What are you getting at?” He replied to Q, suspiciously. Q ended his circle around the creature, finally standing directly before him again. “A battle, of sorts... a few games, so to speak, to see who is really the more powerful entity here. If I win, you return to the stone prison you came from, so that these pony people can go about their chromatic little lives, and the Captain can go home to the Enterprise and his little journey of science.” Twilight’s ears perked a little at the mention of the spacecraft and science, which she quickly hid, a little embarrassed.

Discord contemplated the offer, sitting on a seemingly invisible chair in mid-air. Leaning forward, and looming over Q and the others in a more intimidating appearance than he had previously displayed, he answered smartly. “Very well. On one condition. An even amount of matches, and we alternate who picks what sort of games. That way it’s a fair fight.” Pinkie Pie hollered something about how Discord has never offered a fair fight, and that it was a ‘dumb idea’. Q waved a hand, dismissing the comment, to Pinkie’s displeasure.

“Agreed. Six matches, then. Once for each of the Elements of Harmony. You’ll run your game first, then mine. We repeat, and the most victories wins.” Discord considered it thoroughly, remembering his treatment of the ponies during their first encounter together. “Agreed.” He answered, grinning to himself. Q added in a highly authoritative voice. “And no cheating!” He warned. “Believe me, I will know. So once the rules are set, there’s no changing them.” Discord smiled confidently again.

“Right then. My game is up first!” The world became immersed in a quilted curtain of black and white, before ultimately resting upon the ground, a large set of checkered squares. Q raised an eyebrow, knowing the simplistic approach Discord was taking. “Chess? Seriously?” Q questioned with contempt at the insultingly simplistic and stereotypical trial. Discord retorted. “Pony chess.”

Q, rolling his eyes, snapped his fingers, placing large chess pieces across the respective ends of the field. “Ah ah ah.” Discord corrected, answering by snapping his own fingers, and replacing all the pieces with live ponies from Equestria. Each square held one pony comfortably, but any pony trying to escape the square they rested on ran into an invisible wall. Picard, unfortunately, found himself amongst the ponies on the gigantic playing board. “How utterly barbaric. I’m disappointed in you, Discord.” Q spoke from across the board.

Within each square on the opposing sides, ponies either sat in confused fright, or attempted to escape with nothing to show for their struggles. Even the Pegasus ponies were unable to fly more than twice their own height upward before running into an invisible ceiling barrier. On Q’s side, Captain Picard stood as the King, Twilight Sparkle as the Queen, and Trixie and Zecora stood on opposite sides as the Bishops. Zecora was speaking her native language to herself, privately considering if this was a strange dream or not.

Accompanying them on the board was Applejack and Big McIntosh as Rooks, Rarity and Rainbow Dash as Knights, and Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie as pawns on the front line. Q considered Fluttershy’s extremely frightened expression, and simply looked at Discord across the field. Discord sighed. “Oh please. Fine.” With a small puff of smoke, Fluttershy and Rarity switched places, giving Fluttershy a safer, more maneuverable job, which Rarity was willing to sacrifice for her friend. The other pawns on Q’s side consisted of various towns ponies from Ponyville. Lyra found herself standing next to Bon Bon, who looked happy to see her friend, but panicked from the circumstances.

Discord’s side of the field was filled with villainous characters both real, and defeated. King Sombra, or at least a stoic depiction of him, stood as King. By his side stood Queen Chrysalis, eyeballing the field and the opposing pony force with curiosity. The Knights on Discord’s side were Shadowbolts, while Diamond Dogs served as Bishops and Timberwolves acted as Rooks. The pawns were all Changeling minions. Whether or not these were illusions created by Discord or not held no importance. What they knew was that the ponies on Q’s side were very real, and the Six holder of the Elements of Harmony, along with their new friend Jean-Luc, desperately needed to get the ponies home safely.

Picard turned around and stared up at Q. Both ‘players’ were elevated over the board on floating platforms of stone. Discord had made the same throne appear as the one he had sat upon during his first encounter with the Six. Q simply sat down, a chair appearing as he did so. Picard yelled up to the being. “Q! This is a sadistic game. You had better make sure no harm comes to any of these ponies!” Q held up a hand, gesturing for Picard to leave it be. Picard glanced back down, and over to Twilight. “I hope Q knows what he’s doing.”

Part 11: Fool's Q

“Um, Captain?” Twilight spoke nervously. “Don’t you think we should be trying to find a way out this?” The Captain heard the words, but did not respond at first. He let a moment hang in the air, while the two opposing entities considered the playing field. Speaking, Picard only tilted his head minutely, as though refusing to remove his eyes from the board himself. “Unless your own magic can find a way out of this, I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do. Q’s powers are more than sufficient to keep one at bay unless he wills otherwise. I’m afraid that Q is our only real hope here.”

Rarity, somewhat nearby, pressed against the invisible walls preventing anypony or anything from leaving their position. She offered a nervous laugh. “We won’t be in any real danger… will we?” From above, Q dismissed the comment to the Captain and Twilight with a casual wave. “Don’t be dense. Of course you’re not in any real danger. Besides, if you were, it’s not like I couldn’t will it away.” Picard understood all to well, but let it go. Rarity naturally did not feel any more relieved.

Discord hollered from across the field. “You ready over there?” The Draconequus pointed to a spot on the giant tabletop, to which a changeling pawn jumped to immediately. Chrysalis watched as the invisible barrier bumped the little changeling’s butt, boosting it along. If one were to want to avoid such treatment, they would have to move in accordance with the player’s decision, otherwise they’d be forced along by the invisible walls. Q observed the move, and instinctively made a similar movement, pushing a nervous pony ahead towards enemy lines.

Rainbow Dash huffed down to Applejack on one end of the board, “He didn’t even give us Canterlot’s guards as our pawns. How messed up is that?!” Q, again, shushed the ponies, making a comment about trusting him as Discord made another changeling pawn move. The two exchanged minor movements, mostly pressing pawns forward, blocking and preventing actions. When it was Pinkie’s turn to move, she rather optimistically bounced forward. Whether this was out of genuine fun, or an attitude of “There’s nothing else, so it may as well be fun.”, was uncertain.

Eventually, it the more agile units began to see action. Shadowbolt knights darted forward and angled, smiling with confident ambition. Q clicked his fingers, and Rainbow Dash pushed towards the Shadowbolt on the right. At first, she appeared uncertain, but as she recognized the figures, she too donned the mask of anxious excitement. It would be good to put one of those illusions down herself. A Diamond Dog Bishop hurdled across the board, threatening her position of hostility to the enemy Knight. Q responded by sending Big McIntosh forward along the board’s edge, resting parallel to the Diamond Dog.

Every unique piece on both sides stood strong, while pony and changeling faced off across the battlefield. It seemed likely that the actual danger was in their minds, as Discord was chaotic, but far from explicitly violent. Still, nopony, nor human, nor Q opted to risk it. They all took the choices presented very carefully.

Dash and the Shadowbolt stared each other down, waiting for either one of their commanders to make a decision to push one forward. One move too soon, and the other would fall. The wrong move, or the right sacrifice, and they would be taken out. Fluttershy made a squeak, and warned Dash, as the second Knight approached behind, threatening their other knight, Fluttershy. Q moved Zecora into position, ready to block the Knight from striking Fluttershy, when a Timberwolf Rook darted across the board, running at a full speed bound, before screeching to a halt in front of one of the pony pawns. The wooden wolf reared up, the poor pony cowering in terror, before the jaws clamped down over nothing.

The wolf occupied the fallen pony’s space, but the pony was not there. Looking off to the side, the pony was now resting on the sidelines in a stone body. Q gazed to Discord with disapproval. Discord, grinned. “What? She isn’t hurt. She just can’t move. They’ll all be fine. What do you think I am, a monster?” He finished, before laughing with glee.

Q spoke. “My dear, Twilight. It’s your time to shine.” He spoke, somewhat regretfully, after seeing how much each of these ponies cared about one another. This was a place of persistent kinship. No matter what the odds or circumstances, almost all of these little life forms cared about each other more than anything. It was almost a completely new experience for Q, though the Enterprise’s adventures had already displayed this sense of camaraderie in the past.

Twilight, at first, involuntarily marched forward, but then galloped at will. Seeing a possibility, Discord responded by flying the Shadowbolt that opposed Dash towards Twilight, their queen. Seeing an opportunity, Q took Dash, and sent her to attack from behind. Dash flew into the space where the Shadowbolt hovered, and flew through it, busting it into a dissipating blue puff as though it were a tiny cloud. Dash spun, releasing a trademark “Aw, yeah!” of victory.

Discord seemed impressed, for while the game was simple enough, the moves were intricate, especially when considering the players at hand. The board continued for many moves, while the pawns on both sides cleared out. Both Diamond Dog Bishops had been taken from Discord’s side, but Discord had also claimed Trixie, and ultimately Big Mac from Q. Rarity stood across the board, preparing a strike on a Timberwolf rook, while Chrysalis eyed Twilight. Discord, amused, spoke up. “Really, Chryssi?” He questioned. “Fine.” A spot six spaces ahead glowed green around the edges, as Chrysalis trotted forward, laughing. “Finally. You’re mine, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Oh dear. Well, this won’t do at all.” Q looked over his army of ponies and people, and pushed Rarity closer to King Sombra’s positioning. With Discord’s most powerful units pushing the lines towards Q’s army, there was little to protect his own King. The scattered units awaited commands, while Chrysalis was moved back against her will, into to prevent a checkmate coup.

With Twilight ahead, and holes in both forces everywhere, even more units had fallen. Q looked down to Picard, and offered a deadpan expression. “I’m sorry for this, mon Capitan.” Picard felt a bump, as he was ushered to the left, in the vacancy that was formerly inhabited by Twilight Sparkle. Discord, seeing the opportunity, chuckled to himself. Chrysalis was unable to knock out Picard in one move, but two would certainly take him down. Discord sent her forth, placing Queen Chrysalis right next to Picard. One more turn would dictate disaster for either Picard, or Twilight.

Applejack was currently blocking the first of only two remaining agile units on Discord’s side, while Fluttershy was tasked with weaving around the changeling pawns that had remained surprisingly in tact, though the pony pawns had been all but decimated. Q shifted Picard at a diagonal, forcing Chrysalis to be moved into an equally threatening position. The Queen laughed at Twilight Sparkle. “So, a new friend, is it? What a shame. I can’t wait to see the look on your face when I enslave this one too!” Twilight looked enraged, but was forced to sit and wait.

Rarity let out a cry, as the last Timberwolf rook approached, resting in the directly adjacent square. It crouched low, expecting the next turn, and awaiting the pounce. Another round had passed, and Discord had shifted Chrysalis into position, ready to bear down on Picard. Twilight had been sent back to attempt to stop Discord from forcing a victory, until the following turn that belonged to Q.

“Um. Excuse me?” A feeble voice hummed from somewhere on the battlefield. Twilight called back and forth to Rarity, who was certain that her doom was at hand. All the ponies were shouting to one another over the distances of spaces, while Q sat patiently. “Excuse me.” The little voice cooed again. But again, the humble, polite request for attention had been neglected. Finally, Q clapped his hands, creating a gong beside him, which rang and echoed loudly. All the ponies, people, beings, and creatures stared up at the Q.

“I believe that the modest little Pegasus has something she wants to say.” Q spoke, smiling. The entirety of the board and players all stared down to the board, searching for Fluttershy, finding her standing just under the elevated position of Discord. Beneath her hooves lay a dispersing black cloud with green and purple eyes. She squeaked and retracted her body as all the eyes fell upon her. Looking up to Discord, she smiled sheepishly. Discord’s arms dropped to his side, his mouth agape. “YOU?” He hollered, disbelieving.

“Um. Checkmate. Right?” Fluttershy continued quietly. Twilight Sparkle giggled, and called from across the board. “You did it!” Fluttershy smiled with mixed modesty and pride. Q interjected, “Strictly speaking, it was me, but yes. Never underestimate the quiet ones.” The board disappeared, leaving all the ponies, creatures, and beings on the natural ground once more. Q released the ponies back to Ponyville, and did the same to the villains and creatures. Their stone forms vanishing, and their normal bodies returning to their preferring homes.

The six huddled together, hugging and grateful that all had emerged well. Q grinned to Discord cleverly. “You know, Discord. You should learn to not underestimate others so easily. Especially this one.” He said, motioning to Fluttershy. “You could really learn a lot from that one.” Q added, with a knowing smirk. Discord growled to himself. “Whatever. Enough board games! Just move on to our next trial! It’s your turn to decide now.”

All the ponies gathered around Picard, showing support for one another, and pride in their victory. Q thought for a moment about the heart, fortitude, and intelligence these little ponies had shown. Their determination was as powerful as their dedication to one another. Q looked to Picard, who looked back with skepticism and gratitude alike. Q disappeared, teleporting himself next to the beast of chaos’ elaborate form. He leaned casually on Discord’s side. “Tell me, Discord.” Q began. “What do you know about video games?”

Part 12: MVCQ

“What do you know about video games?” Q questioned, still leaning against the chaos entity’s side. Discord chuckled, nudging Q off of him, before walking around in circles. “Oh, what, you mean those little plastic boxes dribbling nonsense out that makes ponies eyes melt and brains turn to goop?” He raised a claw to his chin, standing upright, and shrugged while offering a chuckle once again. “Come to think of it, that IS a pretty funny image.”

“Oh, give it a rest, Discord. We get it. You’re all about nonsense, and love a good shuffle in the deck of reality. You still haven’t answered my question.” Q directed rather forcefully. It was pretty clear to Picard that Q’s power outshined Discord’s own, but the ponies accompanying the captain were none to certain. To be honest, none could be sure just who could defeat the other if it came down to it. The immense reality bending nature of both creatures could easily outright cancel one another out, or even obliterate one another, to say nothing about side effect consequences that could only be guessed at.

“Oh, alright.” Discord finally replied, dropping his shoulders in surrender. If he had things his way the whole time, after all, life would be so incredibly boring. Q smiled, patting the Draconequus’ shoulder. “You see? Not so hard. Now, I understand that there have been a great many games throughout the galaxy… no, the universe! And while we could certainly continue these little trials, but I’d like to paint you into a corner you’ve never been in before.”

Discord narrowed his eyes, shifting closer to the Q. “What do you have in mind?” Discord questioned suspiciously. The Captain circled with the ponies to stand on the side of the two entities squaring off against one another. Twilight was about to inquire as to what sort of guess Captain Picard could even begin to make, until Q began speaking, leaning on Twilight’s shoulder casually, much to Twilight’s disdain.

“Like any game, one round would be anybody’s win on chance alone. Since it’s my turn to put up, these are the rules. Three games of my choosing, and one round per game. While we are in the games, we have to abide by THEIR rules. Meaning no reality changing, and no cheating. And just to make sure, we’re starting now.” Q snapped his fingers, and the ponies and creatures were suddenly whipped through a momentary blast of light and air, finding themselves in a strange location.

Winds lapped around the ponies, blowing manes and forcing squinted eyes for a half of a minute, while the Six, plus dragon and omnipotent beings popped into being upon a grand, steampunk style airship. “Where are we, Captain? Do you know where Q has taken us?” Twilight asked almost rhetorically. Picard wandered to the side rails of the ship, and looked over. The vessel, borne aloft by great helicopter rotors placed with engineering skill about the deck. “I don’t know.” Picard said briefly. “The land doesn’t look familiar.”

Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack ran for the rails beside Picard, while Spike and Fluttershy gripped tightly beside Twilight Sparkle and the central mast. Q stood looking bored, while Discord got a handle on his surroundings. “And what, pray-tell, are we supposed to be doing here?” The chaos beast inquired, sounding genuinely somewhat agitated. Pinkie replied first, however, without actually answering the creature. “Ooohh! We’re on board some kind of huge steam powered ship, but instead of sailing in water, it sails in the sky, and it’s captained by a really cool lady captain who flies around trying to stop evil doers! RIGHT?!”

Twilight and the others, as always, lowered their eyes in exasperation and modest disregard for her outlandish comments. Q however, most amused, smiled. “That’s correct, Pinkie Pie.” To which the the ponies all stared, mouths agape, and even Captain Picard turned and strode beside the Q. “Q. Where exactly have you brought us, this time?” Discord snaked his way aggressively between the two. “Yes, and can we PLEASE hurry this up? I’ve got things to do!”

While the clouds broke apart, giving a momentary break in the foggy surroundings, Q explained briefly. “Long ago… well, long ago for Captain Picard and I, anyhow, there was an overabundance of video games. A kind of game that can be played on televisions, computers, and all sorts of silly devices. This was once one of the most popular!”

“Aaaaaand, you’ve replicated that game, and put us all inside it?” Applejack asked, suspiciously and accusingly. Q grinned. “Of course not, my dear Applejack. I’ve brought us all inside it! Into the very reality that exists by the mere existence of the game itself. Where else would we be?” Discord brought a hand to his face, and shook his head, before speaking his mind. “I swear, this must be how it feels to be you ponies when I’m around.” Picard, Rarity, and Twilight smiled. Even if he didn’t change, at least he now understood how irritating it was to have someone around who was extremely powerful, and wielding their power with the mindset of a whimsical five year old. Q issued a short introduction to how the game would work to Discord while most of the ponies discussed and observed.

“Enough talk!” Q exclaimed curtly. “Have at you!” Without warning, the ponies found themselves on the sidelines, while Discord and Q stood face to face from across a short distance. Down to their side and above their heads, a strange glowing line appeared, as though some sort of HUD on a great, unseen screen. Discord, taking a pause, before assuming the purpose, frowned. “Goodness. If this is how it’s going to take, I insist we break down the amount of games from six, to three!” Q challenged.

“Well it’s about time we agree on something!” Discord hollered, before leaping forward. The two met in the middle, and stood rather awkwardly opposite one another, attempting to figure out some kind of attack pattern. “Maybe you should have picked a better trial for two such as us?” Discord hissed to the powerful entity. Surrendering the point, Q shrugged in silent agreement. It was a rather strange choice of game for two creatures born of seemingly magical omnipotence. Neither bore any particular attraction to physical combat, let alone something such as this.

“Well,” Q said casually. “I guess it’s a good thing we still have this!” He held a hand back, with a glowing white orb forming in his palm, which he hurled like a discus towards Discord. The Draconequus blocked with his forearms, which moderately stung, but mostly only served to knock him back a foot. The little glowing bar above Discord dropped a small notch, emptying the red bar, while a smaller bar that read “Level 1” grew a little. “Ohhhhh. I get it!” Pinkie said, giggling. Fluttershy mumbled something to herself about violence, but was unheard over the winds and mild discussion between the ponies.

“The little red lines are their health! If it goes all the way down, they go-“ to which Pinkie made an over exaggerated ‘bleh’ sound. Fluttershy again, seemed rather concerned. Even as a game, and even between the two such as themselves, Fluttershy didn’t want to see anypony, or anyone, get seriously hurt. She made a mild protest, which went mostly unheard. Q lobbed white energy blast after energy blast, which Discord continued to block, with mostly success. Discord bellowed about cheating, when he found that he was unable to use his powers to break the game to aid in his battle.

“Now now, I told you that we’d be abiding by these rules.” Q dictated. Discord contemplated what he presumed the game to be from the mild description Q had given prior to beginning. Suddenly, unable to see the creature, Q looked around, only to find the being standing behind him. Q, startled for once, exclaimed, “Wait! I thought I said no cheating!” Discord laughed shortly. “If it were cheating, I wouldn’t be able to do it, would I? It was a teleport move. Perfectly acceptable!” He explained, before shoving Q with a very small chaos energy blast. Q’s red Federation uniform turned blue, in addition to the small amount of damage that ticked down on Q’s own red bar.

“I cannot even believe that this is happening.” Twilight said to Spike. The young dragon, resting on her shoulders, leaned around and very seriously said, “I know. Nobody’d ever believe that we were inside an actual video game.” To which Twilight shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Hey now, wait a minute. What are those other bars up there above them for?” Applejack curiously asked. “Don’t worry about those,” Q began. “We… shouldn’t have to worry about that.”

Part 13: Level Q

The ‘physical’, and if used it should be used fairly conservatively, battle on the strikingly two dimensional arena continued as Discord and Q faced off, trading minor blows with energy attacks and extremely awkward teleportation maneuvers to feign hand to hand strikes that seemingly always failed to connect. “Please, why are we even bothering with this?” Discord inquired to the Q, to which he replied, perhaps unknowing himself. “Well, it threw you off your game, did it not?”

Discord shrugged, glanced backwards, and retorted once more, “True enough, but aren’t you, too?” Q offered a facial expression that vaguely hinted at conceding the point. The fight continued uncomfortably. So much so, in fact, that the spectators gathered on the side had all but lost interest in giving it much attention. Twilight, at least, had been keeping track of the bars hanging above them, always suspicious of that which had not seemed completely explained. “There’s something fishy going on, Spike. But I don’t know exactly what it is.”

Discord’s red bar was tracing Q’s, seemingly an even handed match. Q managed to maintain a slightly stronger offense, but Discord’s nature gave him a better speed boost and maneuverability. Glancing down it seemed too natural to him, and instinctively he slithered off the battlefield to the sidelines, and a Changeling appeared in his stead. The confused creature glanced around at the gathering, and flinched momentarily. Q clapped briefly, intrigued by the tag team motion. “Learned to switch out? I’m impressed.”

He continued, “Then, I suppose that I should probably make it fair as well.” Q snapped his fingers in classic Q fashion, and instantly he and Rainbow Dash had traded places. Discord made a comment about the move being ‘unfair’, but didn’t pursue the point when the others stared sternly. Rainbow flew up high, and darted down towards the Changeling, who had panicked, and was attempting to simply stay away and prevent any damage to itself.

Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie stood close together, while Twilight spoke to Captain Picard, “It’s almost sad.” Dash’s sub-meter below the red bar, which had returned to full after the switch out, began raising up. After it had filled itself all the way once, Dash flew up high. “Just like Canterlot!” She shouted, remembering the fight against the Changeling invasion. A colossal image of Rainbow’s face flashed before the gathering momentarily, and the pegasus began figuratively screaming through the air.

As she neared the Changeling who’s red bar was nearly gone, a Sonic Rainboom exploded with vivid light, sending the Changeling flying off into the distance. Fluttershy, like the others, stood eyes wide at the strange incident. Even Rainbow Dash stood somewhat surprised at the Rainboom special attack she had somehow pulled off so quickly and with so little room.

Discord stressed that he had no interest in rejoining the fray, and instead, a Timberwolf appeared before Dash. “Hah! A Timberwolf? Bring it on!” She challenged with cockiness. Before either side could move, however, Applejack had bounded onto the arena, and stood facing the wooden beast. “Nah uh, Dash. This one’s aaaaalll mine!” Dash shrugged, and flapped her wings to the sidelines. The fight was far more intense than the last two, but nearly as one sided. The beast bounded towards the farm pony, who was well prepared, and slipped underneath the splintering belly of the creature. AJ kicked off the ground, and leaped onto the shoulders of the thing.

Bucking downward, shards of red meter chipped away, as bits of wood and twigs chipped away from the Timberwolf. It managed to throw AJ off its shoulders, and proceeded to make a couple quick swipes of its paws to knock her back even further. The conflict raised the bar up again, and as the Timberwolf charged pony, AJ spun around, waiting for the wooden wolf to reach her legs. The head was just out of reach, when she hollered out a healthy “Yee Haw!”, and barraged the wooden thing’s head with dozens of rapid kicks, before ending in one final and massive double leg buck. The thing splintered apart, and AJ stood, curtseying. “And that’s how Apples take care o’ business.”

Discord roared a shout of frustration. “Jeez, if you want to do something right, you have to do it yourself.” Appearing back on the battlefield, Discord leapt down, walking grumpily towards AJ. “I should’ve been a little smarter with my choices of partners, I guess. I won’t make that mistake again.” Pinkie Pie glanced over her shoulder, raising her eyebrows as though she knew something. “Um. Pinkie? Who are you looking at, and why are you looking at them that way?”

Pinkie replied, “What? Me? It’s just ironic! Because sooner or later he’s gon-“ this time Pinkie got cut off by Rarity, who was pointing a hoof at the arena. “Pinkie, please, not now, darling! We really need to focus our attention on the matter at hand!”
“I agree, Rarity.” Twilight said. “This is way outside what even we’re used to dealing with.” Captain Picard crouched down, observing the face off from a lower elevation. Spike, resting on Twilight’s shoulders, raised a claw and questioned the human.

“Hey, Captain? This won’t end too badly… will it?” The little dragon mused. Picard rubbed his chin briefly, and let out a short breath. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve dealt with Q many times, and the encounters have ranged from extremely irritable to devastating.” From several steps away, the omnipotent being retorted, “I heard that, Picard.” The Captain stood up, and patted the scaly shoulder of the young dragon. “At any rate, with just one of these beings, it would be dangerous enough, but with these two squaring off against one another… well I’m afraid even I can’t accurately predict what the outcome might be.” Picard finalized. Spike sighed and lowed his hand.

“Time to wrap this up, shall we?” Q added, glancing between Captain Jean-Luc and the arena before them. Snapping once more, Q and Applejack swapped places, the red bars returning to the state they were, more or less, when the two had initially traded out. They immediately charged into a more intense, if not still somewhat awkward combat. As the bars slowly whittled down to above the empty mark, Q smiled at Discord.

“You’re good, Discord, but my mind is just far more adaptable and sharper than yours is. Nothing against you, of course, but when you’re up against me you’re about as dangerous as any of these ponies, or people.” He even nodded to Spike for a moment, to acknowledge the little dragon, who he knew felt left out when he wasn’t referred to sometimes. “You have the power, but without the Q mind, you’re only dangerous to yourself and lesser creatures of the universe.”

Discord ran at Q with a large energy accumulating in his hands, which he gathered and sent flying, spiraling all sorts of bizarre things in its wake. Candy chunks, chocolate milk, glitter, grapes, and a drum or two were among a few of the things spitting out of the strange energy mixture. The blast collided with Q, who managed to block enough, before retaliating with a phaser blast. Glancing down, Picard realized that Q had teleported his phaser whilst battling. He shot the being a very stern and exasperated look, before having the weapon returned.

The bar emptied, and with the phaser strike, Discord was flung backwards to the ground. Fluttershy ran up, highly concerned despite the fact that at this point in their history, Discord was still considered an enemy to ponies. “Is… is he?” She started, to which Q laughed, most amused. “Ha! You wish.” The other ponies looked gravely at the omnipotent Q. Irritated at the quip, but unwilling to speak out. Q understood, though. “Oh, come now. You know what I mean. He’s fine. I set the thing to stun, Picard. I know how these ponies detest significant violence.”

Discord coughed, and sat up. “Well, that was just unfair, Q!” The Q shrugged and smiled. “Well, then. I suppose we should move on, yes?” Discord ported to his feet, and walked in front of Q. “I’m tired of these pointless games!” He huffed. Q raised an eyebrow, and offered a response. “Well, then. Let’s make a deal. You wish to stop now, yes?” The Draconequus nodded in frustration. “So here’s the deal. This next game is the last, as you want. But it’s a game of MY choosing. I’ll even let you study it before we have our last little showdown. What do you say?”

Discord walked around in circles for a moment, thinking. It was true, their powers were indeed comparable, despite Q seeming to have a sort of perpetual upper hand. Perhaps the Q was indeed more powerful than he? Whatever the case, if he wanted to come out ahead, he would have his best chance via winning a game against the Q. “Fine.” Discord replied. “We have a deal. One last showdown. What’s your game, Q?” Q smiled, holding up a hand with a small, rectangular device in it. Resting inside a slot was a tiny, white chip. “No X or Y variable here, Discord. It’s all black and white. This last game will decide it all.”

Part 14: I Choose Q

I Choose Q

Q walked over to Twilight Sparkle, and squatted down before her. “Listen, miss Sparkle. I’m going to need your help for this one. You and your other five friends.” Picard began to protest, but Q held a hand up, stopping the Captain. “Picard, not now. I know you have a friendship with these ponies, so as long as you let me take care of it, they will all be fine.” Jean-Luc of course knew there was always a risk with Q’s demands, but the few times he was genuine, it showed. He had a feeling that there was still a risk, but Q seemed to at least be somewhat genuine this time as well.

“Good. Now, you six, come here and listen up.” He called to Twilight and her friends. Twilight looked over to Picard. “Are you sure about this, Captain? I can trust him after everything you’ve told me about?” Jean-Luc sighed, and nodded reassuringly. “Yes, Twilight. You see, apart from him forcing his will upon those who try to refuse him, I’ve found that he’s actually learned quite a lot from humans in his time with my ship.” Picard assisted the explanation with a facial expression that was almost unreadable. “Even if it’s only altered the very smallest portion of his inexplicably complicated mind.”

“I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult, Picard.” Q answered willfully. Whether or not the comment was sarcasm or genuine, nobody could tell, but the almost untraceable crack at the corner of Q’s lips led Picard to believe that Q had grown a fondness for them that was more than anyone knew, or than Q himself would care to admit. Honestly, it probably bothered Q, but such was irrelevant. The powerful entity continued to explain what his plan was to the gathered ponies, which Discord sat hunched over the little device some ways away.

After some time awaiting both parties to be prepared, Q signaled for all who were gathered to follow him. “This way, and we will finally settle this whole thing in one last little test.” The ponies followed skeptically, eyeing the terrain around them, scouring for indications at what might lay ahead. Even Discord poked his head left and right, curious to see what Q had in store, despite knowing full well what the subsequent situation was going to be in regards to the competition.

The small group approached a gate as they crossed over a small hill, leading into a small, but not so humble stadium. Lights on large stands poured illumination across a field of compressed dirt, with white lines forming a circle in the center. Each end of the rectangular field possessed a small, white box outlined in the same white markings. Q directed Discord to one of the boxes, while the ponies, human, and dragon all followed the mysterious acquaintance of Jean-Luc.

“Is this some kind of sport?” Fluttershy inquired cautiously. “I don’t really like competition too much. I mean, I know I’ve already had to… but… you know…” Q eyed the sheepish and nervous Pegasus as she attempted to try and talk her way out of the situation. Glancing back to Twilight, whom he had appropriately come to regard as the leader of the group, Q added a detail. “I think I’ve had a change of plans. Perhaps I won’t need all five of your friends after all, Miss Sparkle.”

The voice of Discord called out from the center of the arena, despite standing on the opposing box. Of course, this was due to Discord’s distortion of reality, his body craning out to unnatural lengths in order to speak. “Are we going to wrap this up yet? I’m sure there’s much more fun to be had out there.” Q shot an abrupt and apparently genuine laugh of amusement.

“Very well, Discord. Let’s begin, then, shall we?” Q stated, snapping his fingers once more. This time, a brief popping sound was heard, and several ponies disappeared. Only Fluttershy and the Captain of the Enterprise remained. “Q, what in the name of-“ The Captain began, before being cut off by Q’s hand, raised to silence the Picard’s protest. “Jean-Luc, don’t you trust me?”

Without hesitation, Q caught himself and added, “Oh never mind. Don’t bother answering that.” As suddenly as the noise resounded, Q had six red and white balls resting along his waistline, while Discord has similarly hanging spheres around his chest on a sort of bandolier. “Really?” Discord stated plainly, pulling a ball out. “Oh, fine then. I suppose it won’t matter, since it’s all about unpredictability. Something not even you can match me in, Q.” The Draconequus added a short huff to accentuate his disdain for the entire situation.

Q ran his fingers over each ball, before pulling one from his waist. “Let’s see… I think, this should be fine.” Discord tossed his ball out onto the field, as Q followed suit. From the ball on Discord’s side of the field, a Diamond Dog appeared, offering a rather pathetic, though committed snarl. While on Q’s side, Rainbow Dash herself emerged in a ray of red light. “Excuse me? What IS this? I thought we were done fighting in that last clash of two worlds.” Q offered a highly amused laugh at something he caught that no one else understood. “Shush, Rainbow Dash. Sheesh, this one will be a breeze for you. Try to show a little appreciation!”

Rainbow Dash stared angrily at Q. “Alright, Rainbow! Shoot a bit of hail at Discord’s Diamond Dog!”

A moment passed, with Q standing in a yet composed position, pointing at the Diamond Dog, who simply watched the commotion with confused and almost uncaring eyes. “Good heavens, Rainbow Dash, this is not the time for your silly little ego!” But Rainbow Dash only crossed her front hooves and hovered there in the air above the stadium. “Oh, alright. Would you please hit that Dog with a blast of ice? Anything? It would really help us all out here!”

Dash shrugged, expressed her skepticism through her eyes as usual, and spun in the air, creating a small cold circulation of air that sent a blast of ice towards the dog. Upon striking, the Diamond Dog flew backward, and regained its footing, though visible weaker. “That was SO AWESOME!” Q watched Dash curiously. “I mean. No big deal.”

Discord commanded the dog back to the front line, where it stood angrily looking up at the opponent hanging far out of reach. “Alright then, it’s our turn to hit back! Diamond Dog, attack that Pegasus with a Drill Run!” Upon the command, the dog pawed at the ground, digging briefly before preparing its actual attack. The dog sailed with noble effort towards the rainbow pony, but fell dramatically short, unable to connect.

“Come now, Discord. Surely you know that a ground-based attack wouldn’t be able to harm something flying? How on Earth would it even reach Dashie in order to strike her?” Discord looked rather cross. “Let’s wrap up this first little fight, now.” Q finalized. He sent a request to Dash to finish the Diamond Dog with a blast of wind, which upon using sent the dirty creature flying towards the back of the arena, where it rested, worn out and unwilling to so much as look at the arena again.

“That makes Rainbow Dash and I the winner of this first face-off. Who’s your next pick, Discord?” Q spoke slyly. Discord rummaged around with the hanging belt of balls, tossing away the one that held the now defeated Diamond Dog. “Let’s try something a little different.” Discord answered.

Sending out the next ball, a cold wash of air encompassed the field, as an eerie blue and white equine appeared, floating in the air before Rainbow Dash. The Pegasus’ eyes widened a little, and she glanced down for direction from the stranger to Equestria. Picard and Fluttershy watched with great concern, the gentle yellow Pegasus watching from behind the Captain in the most modest of withdrawn caution. Q looked back. “Well now. That’s quite different, isn’t it?”

Part 15: Round Q

The whole lot of the spectators stood on the bizarrely hectic field, staring at the extremely strange conflict standing before them. Before Dash hovered a Windigo, same as they had learned about during the old Hearth’s Warming tales. An eerie howl of wind accompanied it. Naturally less threatening without a swirling horde of others around it, the translucent, ice-blue specter was only moderately such. It’s own aura of unnatural strength inherently put a momentary pause of hesitation in Dash’s body.

“Weird.” Twilight spoke aloud, to which Captain Picard glanced down before resuming a vigilant watch on every move either side made. Twilight continued, “It’s pretty uncommon for Rainbow Dash to be phased by something like this. I mean, we’ve fought dragons and all kinds of monsters. Why would one Windigo intimidate her?”

Q waggled his finger in their direction from where he stood on the field. “Intimidate is right, my little pony.” Across the field, Discord almost inaudibly mentioned something about how ‘my little pony’ wasn’t Q’s line, yet this went completely ignored by all. Q continued to explain, “You see, whether or not this ghost… thing… is any stronger than what you’ve fought in your day, our little game gives certain abilities. This Windigo has a natural ability to ‘intimidate’ its opponents. It won’t be a problem though.”

Discord took the chance to command his move. “Hmm. Let’s see here, now. Windigo, go hit that Pegasus with an ice wind!” The spectral horse spirit swirled around, releasing a harsh, chilling gust at Rainbow Dash, which caused her to stagger and drop downward, due to her instinctive reaction of closing her wings in tighter to prevent the significant cold from effecting her body. Naturally, as an accomplished flier, her reaction was only partial, thus she did not actually fall from the air. However, this also caused her to take the wind more fully, dropping her stamina.

“AHA! Did you see that? Looks like your little monster game is easier than I thought!” Discord jested. It seemed that if they were going to jump into the game headlong, then even Q would have to abide by the rules. At least, for now. Q thought for a moment, and then recalled Dash, a red beam sucking the cold Pegasus into a seemingly pocket dimension. “Let’s change things up, I’ll send in… Pinkie Pie!” The newly sent out beam of light released Pinkie onto the field in Dash’s stead. Of course, being Pinkie, the bubbly earth pony appeared springing, smiling, and ready to go.

“Oh! I love games!” Pinkie exclaimed before rubbing her chin with a hoof. “Funny though, I don’t really seem to wanna do anything without being told. Oh well!” Q smiled, amused at the pony’s rather cooperative and excited attitude. He leaned back towards Picard, “You see, Jean-Luc? Now if only you could adopt this little pony’s outlook, and maybe our encounters in the stars could provide you with quite a bit more entertainment and excitement.” Picard only replied with an unamused stare which he channeled every possible signal of hurrying the situation along as quick as possible.

“Oh fine.” Q said, looking back to Discord and the field. “That Picard is always such a dreadful stick in the mud.” Pinkie bounced along under the Windigo’s circling wind, seemingly without a care. Discord looked to Twilight Sparkle beside the Starfleet Captain and let his eyelids drop to half-mast. “You too, eh?”
Twilight exclaimed in response with a “Hey!”, before settling back down.
“Well, at any rate. Let’s see here… Pinkie, Play Rough with that Windigo thing!”
Pinkie, still bouncing and smiling, gave a little salute, and jumped into the air, grabbing the Windigo, which cause the thing’s eyes to bug momentarily before being sucked to the ground in a huge, and rather comical, dust cloud. While little stars and hearts seemed to fly out of the dust, all onlookers seemed rather curious as to what exactly was going on.

However, the dust soon cleared, and Pinkie was once again bouncing above the now badly dirty and exhausted ‘body’ of the Windigo. The ice beast was clearly unable to continue, thus granting clear victory to Pinkie Pie and Q. Discord growled to himself and recalled the cold creature. “That’s not fair, Q! You’re… you’re using main character rules! That’s cheating!”

Frustrated, Discord sent out a new creature, but this time it was much more familiar. Claws, beak, and feather revealed the mighty and stoic form of a Griffon. True, it was not in fact Gilda, but certain a Griffon none-the-less. Pinkie stopped bouncing, remembering her encounter with Gilda. Clearly, she didn’t blame all Griffons, but remembering the incident did bring her a bit of skepticism. “Oh, put that spring back in your step, little pink horse.” Q encouraged aggressively. “It’s just a Griffon. If I were concerned with every little being that bore ill will against me…”

“Then you would be exiled from the universe, Q”. Picard replied. Q raised his eyebrows unamused. “Yes, well I can hardly help it if… oh what am I doing? Let’s get this over with. Pinkie, do it again. Play Rough with that Griffon.” Pinkie gave a half cocked smile, throwing caution to the wind. Discord answered the attack with his own, demanding the Griffon perform a Sky Drop. The Griffon grabbed Pinkie as she leaped up, and pulled her skyward. With nothing left to do, the Griffon flew back downward with the pink earth pony in arms, about to hit the ground.

“Woah!” Q exclaimed, and froze the two in time, stopped before the two hit the field. “This is a little too much for this PG world. One second!” The omnipotent entity known as Q snapped his fingers in the arrogant fashion that only Q could perform, and below the now frozen Equestrian creatures appeared hundreds of cake boxes. “Alright. Continue, then!” He spoke, releasing the two, and resulting in the explosion of quite a bit of cake frosting and breading in all directions. The Griffon flapped it’s wings, and emerged before Discord. Pinkie’s head popped up, covered in frosting, but very clearly out of it.

“Really? Well that’s disappointing.” Q pondered. “I thought the pink one could handle at least one more. Oh well.” Q’s red beam retracted Pinkie and summoned a new ally instead. This time, it was the little dragon, Spike. “Woah! Why am I out here? I- I shouldn’t be out here!” Twilight nearly panicked, before remembering the futility of the situation. She called to Spike, “Spike! Don’t panic! Just remember that we have to make do with we have right now. You’ve helped us so much, you can handle this too. Just remember that!”

Q gave Twilight a clever look that gave Captain Picard a sense of concern. “Oh, you’re equine mentor is correct, little dragon. For example, if I tell you to use ‘Dragon Pulse’ on that Griffon, what do you suppose will happen?” Twilight watched Spike nervously, wondering what a ‘dragon pulse’ was, while Spike thought hard to answer. “Well, I dunno. I guess it might…” The young dragon’s words were cut off by what felt like a hiccup. His chest lurched once. Spike felt like he might throw up. He lurched a second time, but felt a strange heat inside his throat. Suddenly the urge to expel something stopped. “Huh.” Spike spoke quietly, turning to Twilight, before looking back at the Griffon before him standing confidently. “That’s odd. I could’ve sworn that I was gonna-“

Upon the last words, similar to Spike’s usual small, green dragon fire, a swirling and powerful beam of the same green erupted from his little maw, dragonfire racing towards the Griffon who hovered far too startled to evade. When the beam cleared, the Griffon simply plopped to the ground, coated in a thick black scorch. Its eyes blinked, before swirling in circles and falling to his side on the ground. Spike covered his mouth uncharacteristically, and excused himself.

Discord, unimpressed and beginning to get frustrated in his seemingly even, yet futile struggle against Q, already had begun releasing his next combatant. A Vampire Fruit Bat, as seen in the Sweet Apple Acres orchard, emerged. The winged critter was noticeably larger than the others, but it was the same regardless. Q smiled. “Perfect! I know just the pony!” Spike was recalled in the familiar red beam, and out in his stead was the sturdy earth pony known as Applejack.

“A vampire fruit bat?” AJ questioned. “That’s a big’n , but shouldn’t we be okay with those critters now?” Twilight shouted out to her friend, “Normally, yes, but this is different! We’re going to have to play along with this until it’s over. Maybe then we can get things back to normal! Just remember how you felt when they first settled on your trees!”

AJ thought back to the anger and frustration at the orchards being attacked by the bats. Her eyes narrowed on the bat floating only a short distance off the ground. “Shoulda picked a Parasprite, Discord.” She spoke with her drawl. Discord’s eyes widened, and he threw caution to the wind. “Go, my not so little fruit bat! Wing attack the apple pony!” The vampire fruit bat dove down, striking at AJ’s head and back, making impact that was almost negligible, but with repetition began adding up.

“Why is Q just letting AJ take the hits?” Picard asked Twilight. Twilight truly knew as little as Picard did about this particular situation, and any such questions essentially only served to think aloud. Twilight shrugged. “I don’t know. I want to believe that he has SOME idea of what he’s doing. I would guess he has the upper hoof… er, I mean… hand? Right? Anyway, I’m guessing there’s something behind it. Right Captain?”

“I hope so.” Picard replied. “I would like believe that Q wouldn’t put a pony at risk for no reason. In my opinion, he either knows what he’s doing, or has some unfathomable and ultimately pointless reason for this.” Twilight didn’t look reassured, but then, neither did Picard. Truly, being caught in the crossfire of entities such as Q and Discord was alone enough chaos to last a thousand lifetimes. Suddenly, their thoughts were cut off by Applejack yelling from the field. “THAT TEARS IT.” The farm pony hollered, stamping both of her front hooves into the ground, shaking the earth around them mildly, yet impressively considering the force came from a pony. Even the bat stopped for a minute.

“Q, ya yella-bellied lunatic. What in the hay is wrong with you? Yer supposed to be commandin’ us, right? Then do somethin’ already, darn it!” Applejack raged verbally. Her muscles however were very clearly tightened and showing signs of significant upsizing. Q replied. “There it is! I had a feeling we might get that point of anger from you. Dare I say, and Anger Point?”
“Oh please,” Discord spoke immediately after. “None of these ponies, or that ‘human’, are going to get these references, Q.”
Q smiled. “Perhaps. But you do, and being my opponent, that’s more than fine with me.”
Discord raised a finger to reply, but dropped it, and shrugged. “Good point, I suppose.”
To which both entities gave a very gentle chuckle each, leaving the rest of the small gathering rather confused about everything they spoke about.

“Anyway, Anger Point. Yes.” Q explained. “I’ll keep it short and sweet. Applejack takes damage and gets angry. Applejack is now as strong as she could be because of that. Applejack, why don’t you Giga Impact that bat?” Applejack snorted in frustration, especially at being used in such a way to achieve a stronger attack, but at least she could take it out in this strange battle. The farm pony’s legs bounded off the ground so powerfully, that the bat was having trouble keeping an eye on her. Her hat fell off during the sprint around the arena, and as she circled back around, she charged headlong into the bat, sending it just short of Discord himself. AJ skidded to a halt on the ground, standing dirty, sweaty, and breathing heavily. In addition to the Anger Point requirement, the impact had enough recoil damage to cause serious trepidation in the country horse.
“That worth it for ya, Q?” AJ shot defiantly. “’Cause if ya try it again, I’m gonna take these buckin’ hooves and kick ya right in the-“

Q zapped Applejack back, and released Rainbow Dash again. She emerged, still a bit frosty on the wings and hooves, but otherwise seemingly in manageable health. “Me again?” Dash let out in unmasked exasperation, before catching herself in front of the small crowd. “Uh, I mean… of course you needed me to wrap this up! Come on, what else ya got, Discord?” Discord thought contemplatively, before a little light bulb, literally, appeared above his horns.

“Here we go, Rainbow Dash. If you’re so eager, then let’s make this battle… how should I put it? 40% cooler?” Discord began to allow his spherical container to release its next combatant. Dash in full defiance retorted, “Hey, I’ll have you know I’ve only used that line ONCE. And it’s Twenty-“ But before the Pegasus could finish, before her stood another Rainbow Dash. Staring right into a mirror image of herself, the copy did its best to mimic every movement and personality quirk of the real Dash. “Wha?” Rainbow released in pure, stunned surprise. Discord grinned and stretched his arms.