The Brony Squad (full story)
The Brony Squad
Story by SethRichards
Original Concept by Richard Zeisler and Josh Ririe
Chapter I
Wheatley Fields, a young college student, sits in front of his laptop, chatting with his friend via emails. Those who know him mention how he resembles a twenty-year-old Nathan Fillion. He is wearing a white t-shirt, and grey sweatpants.
[So Fields, have you seen the link I sent you?]
[The one with the Luna Plushie? I’ve seen it, but could not believe it. I wonder how the stitcher made the mane. It looks just like the animation. The material is see-through and still looks flowing. I do wish that mamaapple would sell them in mass-production. Hasbro should hire her.]
[Maybe Fields. There are a few bronies who would pay hundreds for a plushie like that one]
[Boulder, she could make an online auction. The Faust-drawing of Derpy Hooves went for five thousand dollars. mamaapple’s Luna could go for a few hundred dollars.]
At that moment, Wheatley noticed a UPS truck at his street. It’s driver was walking to Wheatley’s single-story house with a package in hand. Wheatley went outside, signed the papers, and brought the package inside. He opened it to find a scroll and what looked like the Element of Loyalty necklace. As he held the scroll, he noticed how it was wrapped in a red lace with a horseshoe-engraved gold seal, just like the ones Twilight Sparkle uses.
“Huh, these must be cosplay props for someone. I’ve must have gotten these by mistake.”
Wheatley was shocked to see his name on the inside of the scroll. Overcome with surprise and curiosity, he opened it up without breaking the lace and began reading the scroll:
Dear Wheatley Fields,
You probably will have difficulty believing this, but my name is Twilight Sparkle, and I’m writing to you for help. Equestria, my world, exists in a different dimension, unlike your own. We have been aware of the existence of your world through what you call the “Internet”. We are also aware of the community your friends have establish, and the aggressors that wish to inflict hatred on that community.
These aggressors, these “Internet Trolls”, have invaded our own dimension and abducted my dear friend, Rainbow Dash. Before they left, the Trolls said that Rainbow Dash will be returned if all Brony websites were taken down. If any more were made, then they will capture more ponies, particularly my friends.We are investigating how they were able to accomplish such an infeasible feat, but the issue at hand is the kidnapping of Rainbow Dash. Princess Celestia and I have yet to muster a safe passage between our dimensions, but we were able to transport the selected items in the box.
The Element of Loyalty is Rainbow Dash’s only way of returning home. It is powerful enough to break the dimensional barrier between our worlds. It is linked to only Rainbow, so she will be the only one to return home. Simply have her wear the Element and she will be safe home with us. Know this Wheatley, we have chosen you not only for your combat capabilities, but for your optimism and clemency. We have seen that you spread love to those who wish for your misery and tolerate those who can not comprehend your views. Even with your experience, you will encounter difficulty defeating the Trolls, as they appeared to have been magically enhanced. They seem to display great prowess and are able to breath fire when they barrage obesities. To assist you, I have cast a spell on this scroll’s seal to embed you with the extra edge to subdue the Trolls. Simply place the seal on your body.
Your friend, Boulder Brawn, has probably received my letter by now and will help you save Rainbow Dash. This is not a task that my teacher or I would burden on humans, but times are desperate, and Celestia has faith in you and Boulder’s abilities. A third person has been chosen, but he will be unknown, and his discovery will lead to your victory. Celestia has told me that he will appear when you need him the most. Good Luck Wheatley, the fate of every pony, and the Brony Community rest in your hooves... or hands.
Your fellow pony,
Twilight Sparkle
When Wheatley finished the letter, he was still having doubts for the credibility of the scroll. He picked up the scroll seal and, out of curiosity, placed it on his left humerus. In a pink glow, Wheatley noticed that a “cutie mark” appeared on his upper arm. It was a spring green shield, with a hole in the shape of a heart. Wheatley was astonished and believed that it was all true. He immediately ran over to send an email to Boulder, but heard a knock on his door.
Chapter II
Wheatley opens the door to see his friend, Boulder Brawn, out of breath. Boulder was shorter, and had paler skin when compared to Wheatley. He was wearing black jeans, and a sleeveless, black top. Wheatley invited him in, and saw a “cutie mark” on Boulder’s upper arm; it was simply a mustang’s head.
“So Boulder, I’m guessing you gotten a letter too?”
“You would’ve guess right, Fields.”
“How long ago was that?”
“About ten minutes ago.”
“Wait, ten minutes? Boulder, you live six miles away from here. Are you telling me you ran six miles in ten minutes?”
“I know, right? I put the seal on my arm, this cutie mark appeared, and I found myself running as fast as a horse. I tried to see what else was enhance so I lifted a Honda Fit a few inches off the ground.”
“My God, you’ve become freaking Captain America or something. I wonder what my cutie mark got me.”
“Let me take a look, Fields... hmm... it’s a shield and a heart. You defend love?”
“Twilight did told me in the letter that I was chosen for my ‘clemency’.”
“So you love and tolerate?”
“I already do that. This power is suppose to give me an ‘edge’ on the battlefield. Maybe... maybe it’s a...”
Suddenly a brick smashed through the window and was heading toward Wheatley. Upon instinct, Wheatley bought up his arms in defense. A pink forcefield spontaneously appeared in front of Wheatley; defecting the brick. Both Wheatley and Boulder reacted in amazement.
“Well Boulder, it looks like I do ‘Love and Tolerate’.”
“I would say so too, but how about we go after whoever threw that brick?”
Without a moment of hesitation, Boulder ran outside to find the culprit. Wheatley soon followed after grabbing and reading the note on the brick. Outside on the blacktop road, Boulder eyed a motorcycle leaving. He noticed how it’s driver was wearing a “Troll Face” mask and all-black, casual clothing. Boulder sprinted with all his might after the motorcycle. He actually overshot the motorcycle and was ahead of it. Boulder halted, firmly grounded his feet, brought his hand out, and clotheslined the driver off his motorcycle. Boulder nonchalantly dropped the driver on the ground, and pinned him down.
“Okay bub, care to explain why you threw a brick at my friend’s window?”
“#~^% YOU!”
As the driver cursed, fire casted from his mouth. Boulder immediately threw himself back, and the troll stood up.
“#~^% YOU!” the troll said again.
Another fiery blaze discharged from his mouth, aimed toward Boulder. Using his enhanced speed, Boulder dodged the fire attack, jolted behind the troll and hammer-locked the troll’s left arm behind his back.
“So little troll, I’ll repeat myself... care to explain why...”
Out of nowhere, a bat-wielding troll on the back of another troll-driven motorcycle whacked Boulder in the back. The bat splintered in half as Boulder fell forward and the troll released himself from Boulder’s hammer-lock. Boulder landed on all-fours, trying to recover from the devastating attack. The troll that released himself from Boulder’s mercy proceeded to kick him while he was on the ground.
Wheatley finally arrives at the event, but needed to catch a breath for a moment. The recently-arrived trolls on the motorcycle drove toward Wheatley, but he summoned his pink force field and extended it’s radius to six-feet. The two trolls slammed against the force field, like flies on a windshield.
Wheatley then rushed over to Boulder. Remembering his Wing Chun training, Wheatley shoved the troll to face him and rained a fury of lightning fast punches on the troll’s unfortunate torso. The troll stood for a few moments, and eventually fell flat on his back. Wheatley brings out his hand and helps up Boulder from the pavement.
“They sucker punched me in the back.”
“I’m surprised you’re still conscience. I guess that extra muscle took the brunt of the attack.”
“Hey, it’s not the first time I was hit in the back with a bat-wielding motorcycle dude driving at 25 miles per hour... and it won’t be the last.”
The two Trolls who Wheatley took care of earlier soon regained conscience and stood up. Wheatley comments...
“These guys can really take a beating.”
“That just means we need to beat them up some more.”
Boulder poses in a boxing battle stand. Wheatley hesitated for a moment, but readied himself with a Wing Chun horse stance. The first troll they encountered began to stand up but was still disoriented. Wheatley saw and promptly punched the troll’s mask off. After the mask was off, the troll was noticeably shorter and had a more out of shape figure. The troll covered his face, and urgently fled the scene. Boulder commented...
“So that’s their weakness; their masks.”
“Strike the masks off... then their true identities are revealed. They are no longer anonymous: a troll’s greatest weakness.”
The two other trolls appeared to be concern, but they stood ready. Boulder demanded...
“The one with half-a-bat is mine.”
“He’s all yours.”
The trolls charged and the bronies charged. Boulder was the first to attack with a quick, but blunt headbutt to his selected troll. Wheatley allowed his opponent to hit first, but Wheatley used his forearm to redirect the blow, and land a quick jab into the troll’s throat. The troll was gasping for air, and in his moment of vulnerability, Wheatley knocked him out with a knee to the face. When Wheatley turned toward Boulder to see that his friend’s opponent was already unconscious. Boulder casually states ...
“The guy had a glass jaw.”
“We’ll need at least one to interrogate. Sooo... who do you think is the least brain damaged?”
Boulder humorously states, “Well, you hit like a girl, so let’s go with yours.” Boulder then ripped off his opponent’s mask off, revealing a rather overweight man.
“Funny, and since I ‘hit like a girl’, how about you carry the unconscious prisoner to my house?”
“I’ll let you off the hook this time.”
Boulder holsts up the troll over his shoulder and heads over to the house. Boulder asks Wheatley...
“Uh hey, Fields, what did the the note on that brick say?”
“It was just full of obscenities. The shorten version is ‘Back Off’. Oh, and that we are both gay hermaphrodites.”
“Typical.”
Chapter III
Boulder and Wheatley returned to the house carrying the knocked out troll. When they had the chance, they secured him down to a metal chair. Lucky for the both of them, Wheatley had chains and a lock to restrain the Troll. When they were done with the task at hand, Wheatley had an epiphany...
“Wait, I just thought of something. Boulder, besides the letter, what else did you get from Twilight?”
Boulder pulls out a black-and-blue sword hilt out of his pocket, “Just this. I can see that there are mechanisms here at the rain guard that would extend the cross guards. So this is obviously a magical blade that only opens for it’s chosen wielder. I can tell that it is not for me, so how about you try?”
Wheatley takes the hilt but can not make it work, “It does not seem to like me, either. My letter did mention a third person, but did not tell us who he was.”
“My letter was worded differently, but Twilight pretty much meant the same.”
“This sword, it must be for the third guy. It must be imprinted to only him.”
“So, should we look him?”
“The letter said that he will show up when we need him most. I think the best thing we can do is carry out the rescue but keep our eyes open.”
The imprisoned troll began to regain his consciousness. Boulder responds with enthusiasm...
“Okay, good. You’re awake. So we were attacked today...”
The prisoner quickly blurted out, “#~^% YOU!”
In the blink of an eye, Wheatley summoned his protective shield in front of Boulder. Effectively averting the mustered flame. Boulder comments...
“We should have duct taped his mouth”
Wheatley responds, “But then he would not be able talk.”
“Oh yeah... wait, he’s wearing a freaking mask; I don’t think a little bit of duct tape will restrain his mouth.”
“Good point, I’ll get the duct tape”
When Wheatley shut down the shield and left, Boulder kept the troll’s head up toward the ceiling. Wheatley return and applied a strip of duct tape securely on the mouth of the troll mask. Boulder continues...
“Okay now that I don’t have to worry about the results of a insignificant flamewar, care to have a meaningful conversation of why you’re friends were harassing us? I wouldn’t recommend saying ‘#~^% YOU!’; I’m sure it would backfire and leave a nasty scar on that pretty little face of yours.”
The troll responds in a menacing tone, “Go ahead and torture me, it won’t matter. We have thirty men guarding your precious Rainbow Trash. You’ve seen how well we can take a punch, and that we have the strategic advantage. We have set down fortifications and are prepared for an army. You know well enough that the abandoned school’s rather warm and cozy. We have guards posted at every entrance. Even the secret entrance has three guards posted. I hope you arrive, just so we’ll get the chance to...”
Before the troll could continue, Wheatley flicked his ear. The troll reacted in annoyance and stopped talking, but Wheatley was laughing. Even Boulder displayed a look of confusion. Wheatley explained...
“You know, I cannot believe just how stupid you are; you gave us the location of your base; told us how many guards to expect; and even revealed the existence of a secret entrance; all the while... trying to sound threatening. God, this feels too stupid to make up.”
Boulder asks Wheatley, “So do we let him go?”
Wheatley responds with a tap on the shoulder and a wink, “Might as well; we have no more use of him, and he does have a rather obnoxious voice. Especially when he tries to act tough.”
Boulder went behind the troll and snapped the lock open. Wheatley was openly displeased, but Boulder considered it a test of strength. The troll loosened the chains and stood up. Wheatley addresses the troll...
“Oh, and one more thing little troll... #~^% YOU!”
The troll responded, “#~^% YOU!”, but immediately realized he was about to harm himself. He took his mask off before fire was released. Wheatley was laughing hysterically...
“I know it is terrible for me to laugh, but I mean, come on! How is that not funny? I tricked him into removing his own mask. Oh wait...” Wheatley whacked the mask out of the troll’s hand and snapped it in half. He comments to Boulder... “Who knew these magically empowering masks were made of cheap plastic?”
The former-troll ran, covering his face, out of Wheatley’s house.
Chapter IV
The two Bronies decide to suit up because let’s face it, sweatpants are not threatening. Wheatley comes out of his room wearing a black collar shirt, tan khaki pants, and a green fleece jacket. As the cherry on top, Wheatley sewed a piece of shiny cloth in the shape of his cutie mark on his jacket. Boulder added to his apparel a spiked metal chain belt, steel gauntlets, and a camouflaged boonie hat. He then grabbed a pair of binoculars and the bronies headed off to the abandoned school.
When they arrived, the bronies saw the abandoned school building as they remembered it last; stripped down to a concrete slab with doors. Using the binoculars, Boulder eyed at least fifteen troll soldiers guarding the perimeter. At least ten of them were carrying blunt melee weapons: nunchucks, bats, lead pipes, etc. To the left of the building, Boulder eyed the secret entrance; it was an underground tunnel outside a grassy hill the school was on top of. Wheatley and Boulder circled around to the secret entrance without attracting the attention of any troll. At the secret entrance, the Bronies notice three trolls with nunchucks guarding it. The bronies stalked from behind the bushes. Boulder says to Wheatley...
“Okay Fields, here’s the plan; we throw rocks at them until they come over here by the bushes. That is where we need to strike. Now, I know that you don’t do well when surrounded, so we’ll need to have ourselves back-to-back. We also need to make sure the trolls don’t holler. The two of us cannot handle thirty trolls and rescue Rainbow. If we mess up once, we probably won’t get another chance like this. Okay, so, do you...”
At that moment, Boulder realized that Wheatley was already gone. He saw Wheatley actually having a conversation with the three trolls. Wheatley looks to Boulder and waves over to him to come. Boulder, surprised, comes out of the bush and walks over to Wheatley. As he came closer, he could hear the three trolls having a heated debate. They were using terms he could not recognize, like “Orochimaru” and “Kurosaki”. Wheatley discreetly leads Boulder to the door and they enter as the trolls continue their dispute. Boulder, confused, asks Wheatley...
“Fields, what just happened?”
“I asked them if Naruto was superior to One Piece and Bleach.”
“That’s all it took?”
“Yeah, it turns out they were invested fans of the Big 3.”
“I just can’t believe it was that easy; I was expecting an epic battle or something.”
“Don’t worry Boulder, I’m sure I’ll find you an epic battle somewhere. As of now, lets find Rainbow Dash.”
The Bronies begin to search through the poorly lit hallways. They avoided passing trolls in the shadows, and secretly investigated each closed door they passed by. Along the way, Wheatley comes across what appeared to be a game room, where a few trolls were playing pool and watching LOLcats videos. Wheatley opened the door a crack, and noticed that one troll, sitting on a couch, was cautiously viewing Pony memes on his smartphone. This troll, who was wearing a black denim jacket, even clicked a ‘like’ button. When another troll was walking towards him, the denim troll quickly hide his smart phone. The troll asks...
“What were you watching?”
“Umm... hentai videos.”
“You nasty pervert... fapping off to anime girls?”
“Dude, I’ve seen your search history; you’ve been watching alot of hentai involving tentacles.”
“... fag.”
Wheatley continued on through the hallway, but was reminiscing about what he witnessed. After a while, Boulder asks Wheatley...
“So where else should we look? The only place left would have to be the most secure area.”
“Well, they’re holding a pegasus pony captive, and knowing Rainbow Dash, she is probably being very feisty. Hmm, maybe... maybe they...”
Instantly they hear the sound of an airborne man crashing into a door. Wheatley adds in...
“... maybe they locked her up in a confined area that is right down this corner.”
They slowly slip over to the room to notice a head-sized bump on the door. Boulder comments...
“I’m guessing that is her work.”
Boulder opens the door a crack to see two trolls in a confined and dark room. Rainbow Dash was in a corner bounded by chains, gagged by duct tape, and blinded by rags, but still squirming and fighting off anyone unfortunate enough to come near her. Boulder whispers to Wheatley...
“Take out the guy on the right, I’ll go for the left.”
Boulder opens the door inward to see that the two targets are facing opposite of him. The troll on the right was rumbling his head, indicating that he left the bump on the door. Boulder first knocks out his troll by punching him in the back of his head. Wheatley goes after his opponent and puts pressure on three points in the neck, and the troll collapses. At the same time, he swipes a key from the troll’s belt. Boulder was astonished...
“Fields, how the hell did you do that?”
“I’ve been training in Hyol Do Bu; a Korean martial arts technique that exploits the nerve points.”
“Impressive... did you learn the ‘Touch of Death’ yet?”
“Boulder, Dim Mak is only a fictional martial art.”
“But you have learned a way of killing someone with one strike, right?”
“Yes, it’s called ‘Snapping their Neck’.”
Wheatley closes and locks the door. Both Bronies walk up to Rainbow Dash, but slowly and carefully, to make sure she didn’t mistaken them for an enemy. Wheatley speaks to the pegasus...
“Rainbow Dash? My name is Wheatley Fields, and this is my associate, Boulder Brawn. We were sent here by Twilight Sparkle to return you home. Now, if you don’t mind, we’re going to remove your restraints.”
The rainbow-maned pony was suspicious, but stood still. Wheatley takes off the blindfold and duct tape. He then throws the key to Boulder to unlock the chains. Rainbow comments while she stretches out...
“Thanks for the assist, fellas, but I had it under control. If you’ve given me five minutes, I would have gotten out and take care of those trolls.”
Boulder comments, “She really is Rainbow Dash.”
Wheatley pulls out the Element of Loyalty, “Rainbow, you recognize this, right?”
“How did you get you hooves... hands on that?”
“Twilight sent it to me. She told me that this will help you go back home to Equestria. Just wear it.”
Wheatley holds out the Element, and Rainbow takes it. With her hooves, she puts it on. With the Element of Loyalty on her neck, it began to glow. It glowed brighter and brighter, until the light was almost blinding. A rainbow arc began surrounding itself around Dash as the Element roared in it’s majesty. She imploded within the arc, disappearing, and then a rainbow explosion shook the entire building.
“Well Boulder, I think we did it; we saved Rainbow Dash. Now Equestria can be at peace.”
“That sounds nice and all, Fields, but we should be be thinking of a way to get out of here! I’m sure that dramatic dimensional exit is going to draw in some unwanted attention.”
“Oh crap, you’re right.”
Chapter V
They sprint out of the room, and ran back to the way they came. Because of his enhanced speed, Boulder accidentally went ahead of Wheatley to the secret entrance. He opened the door to see that the three trolls who were guarding the door were still in argument of which is the better anime.
“So this is what happens with you pit three trolls against each other? Ehn, maybe they were just bored.”
Wheatley, out of breath and agitated, reached the door, “Boulder, I just had to fight three trolls to catch-up to you!”
Boulder puts his arm over Wheatley’s shoulder, “Well guess what, Fields, now you get to fight three more.”
Boulder flings Wheatley to the three disputing trolls. They were caught off-guard, giving Boulder a chance to dash-and-bash a mask off one troll. Using the momentum provided by Boulder, Wheatley wraps himself around the shoulder of a troll and high-kicks the mask off another troll. During the kick, Wheatley uses his weight to off-balance the troll he was holding. Boulder quickly pulled the mask off as the troll was falling down. All three of the trolls were unmasked and cowering on the ground. As the former-trolls ran away, Boulder could hear more trolls running through the secret hallway.
Desperate for a solution for their ordeal, Boulder and Wheatley put on the troll masks they ripped off from earlier. As fifteen trolls burst out of the door, they saw Boulder and Wheatley. Upon instinct, Boulder said to all of them in a gruff tone...
“They went that away...” pointing toward the bushes
The leading troll cries out, “After them, you 9#$$!3$.”, as fire spewed from his mouth.
All the trolls then proceeded to head off to the bushes. Wheatley turns to Boulder...
“Did that honestly work?”
At that moment, the fifteen trolls were back and holding their melee weapons toward the bronies. Wheatley commented...
“Oh good, I was worried you would be that stupid”
Wheatley summons his forcefield and immediately extended it’s radius. The forcefield flung the surrounding trolls off their feet. Boulder commented...
“Nice trick there, Fields.”
The bronies took the chance to flee and remove the masks. When they ran to an open grassy field, they were surrounded by all the remaining trolls. Of the twenty-two trolls around, more than half were armed with bats, nunchucks, and lead pipes. The trolls gathered around but stood twenty feet away. One troll stood out from the rest; he was wearing a black Ronin Brand Gi, and had a dual-bladed sword (alike to Darth Maul’s double-bladed lightsaber) holstered on his back. This troll leader, this “Troll Commando”, walked toward the bronies. He spoke to them with a surprisingly intimidating voice...
“Men, care to explain what you done?”
Boulder answered, “We rescued your captive, while taking out eleven...”
Wheatley interrupts, “Eight, only eight. The three I fought in the hallway still have their masks.”
“Right... while taking out eight of your men.”
The Commando continues, “So Rainbow Dash is gone? Along with eight of my men? I must admit, you’ve been occupied.”
Wheatley responds, “Thank you, we do try.”
“But... the both of you have ruined our plans. Now without leverage, the Brony community will stay strong now. Without a website to unite them, we still don’t have a way of trolling them off the face of the earth.”
Wheatley asks, “Wait... that is what this is all about? You want to break the spirit of bronies everywhere?”
“You could say that. I mean, Bronies, you guys are just asking to be harassed. You’re grown men watching My Little Pony. Three years ago, it was the apex of girl-oriented marketing. Then came the fourth generation of the franchise, and suddenly 4chan is flooded with pony memes. Us trolls wanted a stop to it, so we went after each and every one of you, berating and shaming anyone who said they liked My Little Pony. But something happened...”
Wheatley added in, “People started watching the show?”
“Trolls were watching the show. Like a cancer, it spread to our community. Our 4chan! After a while, it did not matter who we humiliated... break the spirit of one brony, and then suddenly three bronies show up to offer emotional support. It. Is. Sickening.”
Boulder figures it out, “You want us to be easy victims again.”
“Good observation, clopper...” fire jettisoned out from the Commando’s mouth
Wheatley used his shield to disperse the flame. The Troll Commando continued...
“... without the Brony websites, we will enjoy spamming and humiliating anyone and everyone who ever ‘likes’, shares, or even views any pony-related material. This time, the bronies will not have someone over their shoulder. Seeing as how you are the combating champions of the Bronies, you will be the first victims of the ‘Pony Genocide’! #~^% them up, Trolls!” Fire discharged from his mouth.
Every single troll charged with passion to the two bronies. Wheatley surrounded himself and Boulder with his shield to protect them from the attacks at every direction. The trolls constantly clobbered and flamed Wheatley’s shield to the point he was having difficulty maintaining it. Wheatley says to Boulder in a worried tone...
“Boulder, I’m concerned if we’ll be able to make it out of this jam.”
“Concerned? Why do you need to be concerned? Look at them, Wheatley. The Commando isn’t really their leader. He is just a figurehead. The trolls are attacking without strategy or organization. These trolls, they are not working together; they are not fighting as brothers. We, on the other hand, have people to fight for and damn it, do we fight well. We are fighting for the Bronies and for Equestria. The trolls are fighting for themselves... and for the slim chance to make someone’s life more miserable. This is not the end for us, Wheatley, this is just a challenge.”
Wheatley regains his confidence and the shield became stronger, “Boulder, there is no one else I would rather have with me right now. Besides, I owe you an epic battle, right?” Wheatley drops down the shield, and the bronies prepare for the skirmish of a lifetime.
Chapter VI
Boulder charged, head first, into a pipe-wielding troll and broke the wind out of him. Boulder used a roundhouse kick to give himself some space from the enclosing trolls. Boulder pummeled an unarmed troll on his 3 o'clock, then a pipe-wielding troll on his 10 o’clock, and used another roundhouse to give himself some room.
Wheatley charged too, but swayed past all the trolls in front like a leaf in the wind. When he was outside the circle, he faced the trolls and began picking them off one-by-one. One unarmed troll threw a quick jab at Wheatley, but Wheatley redirected the blow and walloped the troll’s throat. As the troll gasped for air, Wheatley removed the mask. The former-troll, like the others, fled the scene. Wheatley tried to do the same to another troll, but right after jabbing it’s throat, Wheatley was hit in the back with a pair of nunchucks. Wheatley, again, tried to position himself outside of the group of the trolls, but there was always someone behind him.
Boulder continued his strategy of striking a selected number of trolls enclosing him, and then roundhouse kicking to keep the trolls from enveloping him. With this strategy, he was able to knock off two masks. Boulder began having difficulty when the armed trolls started participating more. At Boulder’s 7 o’clock, a troll came at him with a baseball bat. Boulder responded by roundhouse kicking the bat in half. The troll and his allies were shocked by this demonstration of strength. Boulder took the opportunity to pull off the broken bat troll’s mask. The rest of the trolls came to their senses and proceeded to attack Boulder.
Wheatley decided to change his tactics. Wheatley focused his shield on his forearms and his back, effectively making the shield an extension of himself. A sneaky troll with a baseball bat attempted to strike him in the back, but the shield successfully warded off the attack. Wheatley grabbed the bat and used it to pull the troll closer to him. As the bat troll flew forward, Wheatley hit him in the windpipe, and then pulled the mask off. A troll with a long lead pipe hit Wheatley on his right shin, a part where Wheatley was not focusing his shield. Wheatley stumble a little, but shrugged it off, and rained a barrage of fists on the troll’s center mass. Wheatley finished him off by punching his mask off. As this occurred, another troll flamed Wheatley and his face was nearly burned.
No matter how hard they tried, or how hard they hit, Wheatley and Boulder could not keep up with the trolls. They were being overpowered and overwhelmed. They both founded themselves back to back as the remaining seventeen trolls encircled them again. To Wheatley’s surprise, he pinpointed the troll in the black denim jacket; the same troll who was surfing through pony memes in the game room. He cries out to Boulder...
“The troll in the denim jacket.”
“What about him?”
“He is one of us. Quick, grab him, he’s a brony.”
Boulder grabbed the denim troll and threw him to Wheatley. Wheatley then casted another force field around himself, Boulder, and the denim troll. The trolls try to break the shield, but it was standing strong. In the meantime, Wheatley speaks to troll...
“I know what you really are.”
“What are to talking about?”
“I saw you going through pony memes in that game room.”
“NO... I was... I was only trolling the distributors.”
“Then why did you ‘like’ a few?”
“I was... ‘liking’ them... ironically.”
“Denim, you do not need to hide from us anymore. I know what you really are; you probably saw a few episodes but deleted the history to avoid suspicion.”
“Please, don’t do this... you should know how society treats people like you.”
“How society treats people like us.”
“Brony or not, it’s too late for me. I mean, look at me... I’m now just a troll.”
“You heard the Commando earlier; trolls are becoming bronies. Instead of spreading hate, they are now spreading love. It wasn’t too late for them, and it isn’t too late for you.”
The Troll Commando started hearing Wheatley’s conversation and was growing concerned. He addresses his army...
“I will not lose another man to these #@~$...” fire spewed from his mouth, “... Hmm, this forcefield seems to be powered by the brony’s love and confidence. I guess we only need to break it. Trolls, bring out your smartphones. Google image: MLP... rule 34!”
Boulder panicked and ran to Wheatley, “Wheatley do not look...”
But it was too late for Wheatley, “Oh dear God! God, they are just... wrong!”
The Troll Commando shouted to Wheatley, “Haha, what’s wrong Brony? Aren’t those images made for bronies by bronies? Don’t you clop to these images? A large number of bronies sure do!”
Boulder talks backs, “They only make up a small minority! Wheatley, stay strong! They are just pictures, they are not in canon! Think of Lyra’s “Anthropology” song, or “Lullaby for a Princess”. Remember all the good things that came from the community. For God’s sake, “My Little Dashie” is your favorite fanfic.”
“I’m sorry, Boulder, but I have to see them to maintain the shield. I need to know what they are attacking me with. Oh for God’s sake, trolls... that’s incest... and Sweetie Belle is only a child.”
Boulder speaks with the denim troll, “Right now you need to make a decision. Look at what these trolls are doing to Wheatley; they’re spamming him with clop pics. Is this what you wanted?”
The denim troll responds, “No one was meant to be hurt.”
“That’s a little hypocritical concerning trolling is all about emotionally hurting people... oh, and our situation!”
“It’s just... who is going to accept me for my cursed desires?”
Wheatley puts his arm around the troll, “We will.”
“But you know nothing about me.”
“But we’ll like to. We are all bronies, and we always look after one another. What have these trolls done for you?”
“... They kept on accusing me of watching yaori hentai and telling me to commit suicide.”
He takes off his troll mask, revealing Middle-easterner facial features, “My name is Charlie Pi.”
Boulder and Wheatley say in unison, “Welcome to the herd, Charlie.”
The Troll Commando unholsters his dual-blade sword and starts slashing the pink shield. He shouts with extreme aggression...
“No, no, NO! I will not lose another soldier to (=_%@~* bronies!”
The Commando stabs his sword to the ground and pulls out his smartphone. He searches through the darkest parts of the internet, but he finds the most horrifying rule34 picture of Rainbow Dash. He then shows it to Wheatley. Wheatley fell to his knees and immediately vomited. The shield began flickering, as Wheatley’s will was slowly breaking. Boulder started to feel the blue sword hilt vibrate in his pocket. He pulls it out of his pocket to notice that it was glowing. He handles it over to Charlie...
“I believe this is meant for you.”
Upon contact with the hilt, the crossguards released, and a scroll seal launched itself from the rain guard. Boulder quickly grabbed the seal mid-air and placed it on Charlie’s left upper arm. A rainbow-like glow appeared for a short moment. Charlie opened his jacket to see a “cutie mark” on his humerus. It was a rainbow circle, similar to a Sonic Rainboom. Charlie looked at the hilt and swung it downward. A magical three-foot long double blade with a blue fuller slid from the hilt. Boulder says to Charlie...
“It’s an impressive sword. Wait, do you intend on killing them with that?”
“No, this sword doesn’t kill, it vanquishes. It merely transports away a troll without his mask.”
“How do you know that?”
“The sword... it’s... it’s like it’s beaming information into my head. It just told me that its name is Luna’s Eclipse.”
Boulder notices that Wheatley’s shield is weakening more, “Charlie, get ready. All three of us... we are going to finish this. Wheatley... Wheatley?”
Boulder could see that Wheatley’s spirit was almost broken. Boulder pulled him up from the ground...
“Wheatley... hey, Wheatley. Look at Charlie, he is now one of us. He is the third warrior Twilight mentioned in our letters. He was able to make the sword, Luna’s Eclipse, work. Look at how magnificent it is.”
“Sorry Boulder, every man has a limit to the amount of hate and degradation they can handle. Oh Charlie, your free hand is sparkling.”
Charlie looked at his left hand and saw rainbow-colored sparkles flying around his hand, “Fellas, hold out a hand.”
Both Boulder and Wheatley held out a hand, but Charlie puts the palms on top of each other. He placed his sparkling hand on top, and all three bronies felt energy surge through their bodies. Wheatley’s shield was suddenly stronger than ever. He comments...
“I feel refreshed... and slightly stronger now... we are... we are...”
They say in unison, “... we are now 20% cooler.”
Wheatley rapidly extended his shield with so much force, the enclosing troll flew right off their feet. Wheatley orders Charlie...
"Focus on the trolls with pipes and nunchucks, Boulder and I can handle the rest."
Charlie demands, "The Commando is mine."
"You're the one with a sword; be my guest."
Chapter VII
The remaining sixteen trolls got back on their feet. Charlie was the first to strike as he slashed a troll through the torso. The troll froze at first, but he faded to black and imploded, leaving the troll mask in his place. Charlie comments...
“So that’s how it works.”
Wheatley focused his shield on his forearms, back, and his shins. He was ready for whoever was dumb enough to attack him. And lucky for him, a troll was dumb enough to come at him with a baseball bat. Wheatley held up his right forearm, and the shield took the brunt of the bat. Wheatley then grabbed the troll’s wrist with his right hand, placed his right foot on the troll’s waist, and curved his knee on the troll’s arm, making the troll lose his balance and fall flat on the ground. Wheatley then used the opportunity to take his opponent’s mask off.
Boulder was excited that his already superhuman abilities were even stronger. He no longer bothered with subtlety. Boulder was just straight off punching out every troll in sight. A troll was coming in on his 11 o’clock. POW! Down on the ground. A troll was coming in on his 2 o’clock. POW! Again, down on the ground. A troll with a long lead pipe at his 12 o’clock swung at him. Boulder dodged the attack, and used the same momentum to roundhouse kick the mask off the troll. Boulder grabbed the pipe, and staked it so deep into the ground, the other trolls could not pull it out.
Charlie did as he was told, and took on the trolls with nunchucks and lead pipes. Three trolls; one armed with a lead pipe, and two who were armed with nunchucks, came at him from his 1 o’clock, 4 o’clock, and his 8 o’clock. Charlie decided to use Wheatley’s first strategy by keeping himself outside their circle. He launched himself to his 10 o’clock and made sure no one was at his back. Lucky for him, there were fewer trolls than before, and the other bronies were handling the majority of the remaining trolls. The melee trolls were eventually all facing Charlie. He held the sword with two hands, and swung it horizontally. The troll on the right blocked the blade with the chain part of his nunchucks, but Charlie stepped forward and riposted his blade to stab the troll in the heart. The troll faded to black and imploded, leaving his mask and nunchucks. The two other trolls were surprised, leaving their guard down long enough for Charlie to spin clockwise and cut through them both in one swoop. They faded to black and imploded, respawning without their equipment a mile away from the battlefield. They did the wise thing and just walked home.
Wheatley observed that there were ten trolls left, and they were resorting to cheap tactics. He knew this out of the fact that the four trolls he was facing were trying to kick him in the groin. Wheatley was able to defend himself by blocking with his shins and keeping his hands low. After a while, Wheatley gotten annoyed and said to the trolls...
“Oh for God’s sake, can you guys do anything besides kicking me in the balls?”
The trolls looked to one another for a moment, but proceeded their attempt to kick him in the jewels. One troll was able to successfully punch Wheatley in the face. He stumbled a little, but said to the troll...
“Thank you for adding in variety.”
Boulder decided to help out Wheatley by sneaking behind one troll and removed its mask. Another troll then punched Boulder in the back of his head. Boulder stumbled forward, and landed on all fours. He looked back at the troll but with so much rage, the troll anxiously removed his own mask and said...
“You win, please don’t hurt me!” and ran away.
Wheatley saw a troll with a pipe charging at him. Wheatley charged toward the troll too. Just when they were about to meet, Wheatley dashed forward and clothlined the troll with his right hand. As the troll fell to the ground, Wheatley used his other hand to pull the mask off and crushed it in his hand. Another troll with a baseball bat decided to charge at Wheatley. Wheatley ran to the troll, but in a swift sleight-of-hand motion, he grabbed the mask off. The troll was confused for a moment, asking himself what happened, but was still running in momentum. The former-troll then ran into Boulder, but Boulder was standing still with his chest out. To the troll, it was like running into a wall. He fell flat on his back, knocked out cold.
The Troll Commando was in shock seeing he only had six men left. All seven of the troll gathered in front of the Bronies, readying themselves for the defensive. Boulder says to his friends...
“Charlie, how about you focus all your attention on the Commando? Wheatley and I will each take on three trolls.”
Charlie responded, “Sounds like a good plan to me. And besides, I already called dibs on the Commando earlier.”
The bronies stormed for the trolls, running with all their might. Wheatley and Boulder sprinted ahead and attacked the six trolls at the Commando’s sides. The Commando was surprised at first, thinking that they were going to go for him. He remembered the third brony and immediately parried Charlie’s sword attack. From there, the Commando and Charlie began their epic sword battle; double-edged vs. dual-bladed. The Commando was on the offence, swinging his dual bladed sword around himself, attacking with absolute power. Charlie was on the defensive, blocking off each attack, but the Commando was striking with so much force, it was taking a toll on Charlie’s arms.
Wheatley and Boulder did not straight up attack the rest of the trolls, they were on the defensive. Or, better put, they were defending Charlie. They knew that Charlie was the most capable of defeating the Commando, so they made sure that no troll would try to hit Charlie in the back. After blocking off a few more attacks, Charlie was at the point of exhaustion. He soon realized that the dual-bladed sword, though cool in appearance, did not offer an advantage in defence. The sword was heavy, and it’s handler had to use an excessive amount of room to attack. With this in mind, Charlie ducked down and spiraled to dodge the Commando’s attack. He then went on the offensive, inflicting as much pressure as possible on the Commando. The Commando held his sword high, but was having difficulty keeping up with Charlie. When Charlie thrusted, the Commando had to resort to dodging. Dodging no longer became an option as the his sword was too heavy and Charlie was too fast.
The Commando decided to shove Charlie a few feet away from him so he could attack. With space between them, the Commando twirled his sword around and thrusted it toward Charlie. Charlie was able to spiral around and struck the Commando’s hand. The Commando was in shock as his hand faded to black and imploded. Charlie used this opportunity to knock the sword out of his opponent's other hand. The Commando was relieved to see that his missing hand formed itself back on his arm. Boulder and Wheatley walked up to Charlie’s side. The Commando looked around to see that all his soldiers were defeated. Filled up with so much anger, the Commando lunged at Charlie shouting...
“You can’t defeat Me! You’re just a bunch of #@~$” fire spewed from his mouth.
Wheatley warded off the flame with his shield and choke-holded the Commando. With his thumb, Wheatley put pressure on a nerve in the Commando’s jaw; inflicting intense pain. Wheatley says to the Commando...
“We just beat your ass... does it really matter at this point if we’re gay or not?”
Wheatley then nonchalantly throws the Commando on the ground. He scurries away and backs himself up on his feet. He says to the bronies...
“Mark my words Bronies, we are vast in numbers. The Trolls will strike back in bigger numbers and we will be prepared for the likes of you. Oh, and Charlie... watch your ass, cause I will personally stick your sword up it!”
The Commando started to glow in blacklight and imploded.
Chapter VIII
Wheatley says to his friends...
“We did it, we actually did it. Out only did we save Rainbow Dash, we made a new friend, and defeated the Troll army. Today has been a good day, guys. I guess Tuesdays really are the most productive days of the week.”
Boulder responds, “Wheatley, we only won the battle. We also do not know how the trolls got these magical masks or how they were able to travel to the Equestria dimension. This is only the tip of the iceberg.”
Charlie adds in, “Then I guess it is up to us then. From this day forth, we are the human defenders of Equestria and of the Brony community. Fighting against anyone who wishes to endanger other ponies, or to spread hatred. My friends...” Charlie stakes Luna’s Eclipse to the ground and puts his hand on the pommel. Wheatley and Boulder put their hands on top of Charlie’s.
They say in unison, “... we are THE BRONY SQUAD!”
