A Hierarchy of Needs

by Typewrittensoul

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Sex, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Original Character
Length: 43018

A story of how an entry-level bank teller became a Gentleman

After taking a teller job in a recently opened Equestrian branch of the bank he works in on Earth, one human tries to figure out what exactly it is he wants out of life. Contains human and pony relations.

Part of the Gentlemanverse based on Demon Eyes Laharl's "Gentleman for Mares."

Published 2013-01-16 23:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-09 02:59:46 UTC

Physiological Needs

It all started with a post on the jobs thread of the bank I work for. It just so happened that I was online when it appeared and in simply curiosity I clicked to view it. That curiosity blossomed when I read the description. While most positions had a time window of three weeks to a few months, this one was due to close within the week.

The location was also both strangely familiar and unrecognizable. It was in a city called "Neighagara Falls" in a place called "Equestria."

Now if it weren't for the past few years of news I'd have thought someone managed to hack the site. But no, against all previous notions of common sense, the listing on the post was entirely correct.

From the constant 24/7 news reports, opinions and interviews of scientists and other "experts", celebrities, diplomats, and politicians playing on television, to the barrage of speculation online in forums and the blogosphere, and the social networking sites, the emergence of a landmass out of the Pacific Ocean sure raised a few hackles.

Hardcover, paperback and even e-books have already surfaced about our first contact with "Aliens." A torrent of questions, both calmly and anxiously asked, about the island and the equines that emerged from a portal on the island. At some point someone or some group decided to name the island "Neo Equineox."

Today a literal flotilla of navy ships patrol the waters around the island. Along with squadrons of pegasi. Every country that could afford it rushed to be represented in the international effort to keep the island a neutral zone. While legally under the control of the United Nations, even the most average-informed person (like yours truly) knew full well which country in particular was calling the shots. But there were always news reports about the tensions that held strong between the two Pacific superpowers, but anything more detailed than the general goings-on is beyond both my understanding and my interest. While trivia was always a neat thing to keep on hand for parties or meeting new people, particularly girls, things like history and politics just aren't my idea of a pleasant dinnertime conversation topic.

Whether I was interested or not, politics played a huge role over the human reaction to the ponies when they visited New York to officially reveal themselves at a UN conference. It was there that two winged unicorns, one named Princess Celestia and the other Princess Luna made their intentions known to open diplomatic channels and their borders to humans all over the world.

Since then trade has begun, cross-dimensional tourism has skyrocketed and international efforts have been even more hard pressed to find measured ways of addressing the prospects of agricultural and scientific advancements as a result of the new-found relations with Ponies, Gryphons, and other sentient non-human creatures.

As for me, well...I found myself with a new job far, far away from home.

--

Chapter 1.

Despite all of HR's warnings, nothing could have prepared me for the three and a half hours of my life that I'll never get back.

The actual trip through the portal that now linked Earth to Equestria was simple enough. Well ok, it actually sucked. Hard. I apparently passed out during the transition between the two worlds so I can't really say what the inter-dimensional medium is like. A major factor for that low point in my life was because of the hellish processing and security checks to board the plane to Hawaii and then a smaller one to Guam, then to take a chartered boat to Neo Equineox where I was subjected to more checks until I walked through the portal and eventually awoke at a fort on the Equestrian side.

Heck, once I disembarked from the boat that brought me to the island, everyone was subjected to a weapons check then an identification clearance (which was redundant since I had to go through that rigamarole before I even got onto the boat when I left from Guam in the first place.) I never imagined how much more ridiculous the TSA could get but to my surprise, they found a way.

Good ol' American ingenuity, that.

After being medically cleared (and almost being sent back until I persuaded the doctor and pony nurses that I was ok to continue), I was given a seat in a pony-drawn chariot (a flying one, oh boy!) and taken to Neighagara Falls, all of which simply drained me. Normally all flights led to another pun-ificent city named "Manehattan" but since Neighagara Falls was close enough there were limited flights sent to there as well.

There is a smoother, more expedited experience for frequent travelers. Of course the physical experience will be the same (the person in line ahead of me said that "you'll get used to it." But I don't really believe him after what I went through.) But for first timers like me, well...there was almost no stone unturned as to who I was, the purpose of my trip and how long I planned to stay in Equestria.

However I could readily believe that it could somehow have been an even worse experience. To some extent the majority of the background check had already been done during the job application process. Yeah, imagine that. The online form that I filled up the night I clicked on that link was more than a dozen pages long and in-between were the usual multiple-choice questions that you're subjected to. Things like "Choosing the number that displays how much you agree with a statement, How organized are you?" and "I enjoy working with others. True or False" while a couple of questions later you're asked "I find it difficult to work with others. True or False."

It was almost as if I was planning on applying for the CIA with how in-depth I had to be, as well. Putting in names of family members, close friends, neighbors, teachers as far back as elementary school! I guess in some way it makes sense given how big a draw this job was. I mean, the number of benefits and incentives (for an entry-level position, at least) was pretty ridiculous. Travel to Equestria and lodgings are provided at the bank's expense and in addition there is a "cost of living" bonus in to supplement the annual salary.

So upon arriving in Neighagara Falls, I had managed to catch some sleep but excitement at the sights and sounds all around me shot me up with an adrenaline high. I had thought I was used to seeing talking colored ponies while at the base but being surrounded by them in their own environment...no, it's not like I'm at a petting zoo, or anything. That isn't right. You went through the "Cultural Sensitivity" seminar before leaving and all that, Matt. Come on.

Um...looking around the open air station platform I saw how ponies and humans mingled together. There were construction crews beginning to build highrises and apartments where there was an utter lack of any buildings taller than three stories. The streets were narrow but freshly paved, and the distinctive smell of asphalt floated in into my nostrils alongside the scent of pastries, pizza, smoke, and hay.

There were all sorts of things placed into the bundle for employees and humans in general that were Equestria-bound. At least those people who decided to splurge on the sucker. If given a choice I wouldn't spend a penny toward the $85 packet. There were all sorts of touristy things included, amongst which was a traveler's guide that had a list of places to visit in each town and city around the country. Funny how people from Zagat and Michelin had already made their critiques on several Equestrian restaurants and I remember watching a few specials on the Food Network that explored the different sorts of cuisine before I left. Ugh. I'm simply starving, not having had anything to eat since I left Guam.

In any case I searched around for anyone from the bank or hired by them that's supposed to be waiting for me. As my luggage will be delivered straight to the company apartments, all I had on me was a rucksack a carry-on luggage and my travel bag. Electricity is still somewhat hard to come by even in the cities (not to mention that there's a different voltage from Equestria-produced power) so I doubt I'll have much use of my laptop unless the promised solar charger available at the apartments wasn't just an imaginative stretch of advertising.

With the poise and grace of an elephant on a tightrope I carried my things and headed down the platform, seeing newspaper kiosks and other familiar sights being staffed by pony and human alike, when I happened upon a scraggly, unkempt-looking stallion holding a sign with my full name in his hooves.

Matthew Maslow

This guy was the pure opposite of the happy and joy I've seen everywhere else so far. With a perma-frown on his face, this pony didn't look like he's slept in a month. He didn't just have a two o'clock shadow, his stubble had stubble. He had bags under his eyes big enough to go on a trip.

"You the guy?" His gravely voiced sounded out.

"Uh, yeah." I'm caught off guard by the tone of his question but answer nonetheless. "I'm Matthew Maslow."

"You're late."

Feeling the travel fatigue threaten to make me snap out an answer, I took a deep calming breath before replying. "Sorry. Not my fault. Held up by check-in, and all that."

"Sure. Why not." The stallion curtly replied, sounding not too pleased by what I had said while making a rolling glance of his eyes away from me. "Anyways, let's go."

Taking my carry-on luggage bag into his mouth he threw it onto his back then began walking...right across the street from the station and the spot where he was waiting for me to the apartment complex. The travel packet never said anything about the apartment being right behind the chariot station, but then again the numerous typos and accidental calling of ponies, "people" at least twice should really have tipped me off. At about two stories and comprising of three to four "buildings" it looked more like a motel than anything else. We walked up the exposed staircase, careful not to let any of my luggage fall down. Well, at least I was.

Turning around the corner once reaching the top of the stairs we stopped at the first door, 310B. Not that this was the third floor, but we were just at the third building, tenth door. And all of the doors on this floor were designated B while downstairs the rooms were A. There was some sense in that system, though not much. Taking out a set of jangly keys the pony opened the door, took the key out of his ring and gave it to me after leading me inside a few steps. That's all it took to end up in the center of the entire apartment room.

"This is your place." He announced with the most enthusiasm yet since we met ten minutes ago. He pointed at the foot of the bed with his hoof, toward a chest of some kind. "That's your ice box. For keeping things like food cold."

An ice box? As in...what people used to preserve food before refrigerators?

"Your closet's over there." He said and pointed to a rectangular space cut into the wall where there was a metal bar. "Next to the door that leads to your toilet and sink.

"Awesome." I said politely. The room was small. And by room, I mean a room. There's a set of closed drapes above the bed. I then glanced to my immediate left and see the drapes drawn closed beside the front door...to a window that doesn't exist. Leaning my head outside my dread is confirmed when I see only wall. "This is quite the place, alright." I profess with the same level of excitement as the pony next to me.

"Heh. I like your gumption." The stallion's gravely voice replied in a flat tone. "There's community facilities downstairs. Showers, kitchens, rec area, solar charging station. The works."

Well, given that this is all bank-owned and constructed, I should be thanking my lucky stars that I didn't just end up in some preexisting hovel without any amenities that was simply bought or rented.

"Dinner will be ready around six o'clock. Doesn't cost you anything extra, but be sure to tip if you decide to come by."

"Sure thing." I say with a nod and with that the pony leaves me, closing the door behind him. Light actually managed to seep in through the drapes above my bed.

Letting out a yawn I hopped onto the firm mattress and stared at the ceiling, slowly letting the jet lag and travel fatigue catch up to me until my eye lids grew too heavy and they shut until morning the next day.

--

As it was meant to be a way to expedite loans for upcoming businesses coming to Equestria, the Neighagara-branch of the Atlantic Investment & Commercial Bank, or Neighagara First Bank, had seen quite a surge in solicitation as soon as its doors opened.

Companies were sure to invest as quickly as possible in all of the ventures that were envisioned when the ponies welcomed human trade. The Gryphons were not too far behind, but talks were still being made. As the portal on Neo Equineox was situated on an island, transportation of materials was difficult and expensive. The construction and materials industry thus boomed in Equestria (heavily regulated of course, by the Equestrian government) and financing and investment was necessary to fund projects. In addition to catering to commercial needs, the banks that were able to set up in Equestria began to supplement their very flush profit margins with individual accounts. The fact that banking was not a very active industry made it all the more a feeding frenzy when it came to getting ponies to do business with one bank over another.

While the exchange rate between bits and dollars (and other major circulated currencies like the renminbi, euro and pound sterling) was still under debate, overall spending had remained steady rather than exploded. Demand, as it seemed, was not something that could be hoisted onto the pony population, but surely there were quite a number of human exports that were seeing a positive trend, not to mention certain services that had begun between humans and ponies.

Billboard advertisements lined the street as I headed to the bank to go through a short orientation and begin my first day. Wearing my suit and tie I entered the building that had its name written in seafoam green lettering, in both English and Equestrian. Opening and stepping through the two sets of heavy glass front doors I found that there were a good number of ponies and people in line waiting to be helped. And it was still before noon, too.

I had a decent-enough breakfast of pancakes with fruits and honey, a glass of milk and eggs whites topped with spinach and now felt right as rain. I walked across the green limestone tiles and approached the closest teller booth available and found myself coming upon a very darling-looking brunette. It was oddly comforting to speak to another human after only barely a day had gone by since I arrived, even with my heart pounding even harder from the sight of her hazel eyes locking onto mine. There definitely wasn't anybody around when I had gone to the shared breakfast area to eat this morning. Her pink lipsticked lips upturned into a large smile, revealing pure pearly white teeth. "Good morning, sir. Welcome to Neighagara First Bank. How may I help you?"

Her bright greeting was infectious and I found myself smiling as my throat felt dryer than a sandbox in the summer. "Hi. I'm Maslo...I-I mean I'm, um...Matthew Maslow. It's my first day today so I think the branch manager is expecting me?"

"Hey, you must be the new guy. I'm Rebecca." With a soft giggle she pointed at the dainty-looking lapel pin with her name on it that rested on her black business jacket, then outstretched her olive-toned hand to me and I felt my face turn even goofier as I shook her hand in mine. Another giggle alerted me to the fact that I forgot to let go of her hand after a few seconds.

"S-sorry."

"Nah. S'all good, Matthew." Rebecca waved the whole matter off then continued to work on breaking a roll of coins to another teller for a customer to give him an exchange from the bits he handed her. "Mrs. Plumcake is in the back." She said, turning back to me. "Normally she'd come out to meet you but she's taking a call right now. She told me to tell you that when you came."

"Oh so it isn't just coincidence that I came to talk to you, then?"

She put on a sly smile and scratched her chin a bit when I said that. "Maybe. Anyways you can just go to the back and I'll buzz you in."

"Thanks." I nodded and smiled, then headed around the counter toward the Employees Only door. After being buzzed in by Rebecca I walked through the back corridor and arrived at the bank manager's office where the words "Mrs. Plumcake" appeared on a nameplate.

Pony names always had a unique rhythm to them. I noticed that from the first reports of the ponies that appeared on Earth about five years ago and especially when the princesses decided to appear at the United Nations. The pony that gave the "Cultural Sensitivity" training was a stallion by the name of "Clip Clop" and last I heard there was a pony that was being transferred to the branch I just left named "Sunny Day" or some such.

I knocked on the door and after a solid five minutes of waiting it opened, and a reddish pony with a darker red mane wearing a dressy woman's tie and business coat appeared. "Ah, you must be Matthew. Good to see you arrived safe and sound in Equestria. Come in, come in, have a seat. How was the trip?" She had a stout body that was a tad lower to the ground than the average pony I've seen, making it necessary for me to look down a bit more. I followed her into the quaint office that was probably half the size of my apartment. It's white walls were bare of any decorations or pictures but atop the dark brown table that she hopped onto a chair behind was a set of photographs of herself, a stallion and a child pony...kid...amongst other paperwork, in-and-out baskets and a fancy-looking calculator with oversize keys to accommodate hooves.

You'd be surprised how dextrous the ponies can be, though. Clip Clop in fact used a stylus to manipulate his smart phone when his seminar was finished not with his mouth but his hooves. Talk about culture shock.

"It was an experience." I replied diplomatically. The mare seemed to take kindly to the vague-ish answer as she nodded her head and smiled.

"Good, good. Well as you know, and probably already seen, this is Neighagara First Bank, a branch of Atlantic Investment & Commercial Bank and a proud new member of its family..." I nodded at the happy bank-friendly spiel that she continued to spout. Smiling and chuckling and basically reciting the professional performance I gave when I first applied to work for the bank back at home. "It's wonderful to have you here, Matthew. Now, I'll just let Toby, our Human Resources director here, bring you through the orientation. Have you sign the forms and all that, alright?" She said with a friendly wink.

"That sounds fantastic!"

"Fantastic!" she repeated the word, only with more sugary cheer to it than I was willing to force. "I'll see you in a little while, Matthew."

"I'll...see you, Mrs Plumcake."

She smiled then cantered out of the room as a bald man wearing a white blouse and black pants walked in. "Hey there, Matthew. How are you doing?"

The two hour orientation was strangely like every other orientation for an hourly job that I've ever had. In fact, the introduction and "training" videos that I was subjected to was made from a few years prior, completely void of any and all references or mentions of ponies, Equestria or the existence of magic. I could only thank my lucky stars that I didn't have to watch the "Company Culture & You!" movie that I saw when I first started working for the bank. Papers and forms were signed, a reiteration of my benefits and perks including the bank-provided "residence" and living-wage supplement to my pay, health insurance, dental, 401k, vacation time, yadda yadda yadda.

"So Matthew, any comments, questions, concerns so far?"

My stomach rumbled, but the HR guy didn't seem to notice. Besides my obvious peckish state, I hoped that he didn't realize that I forgot his name already. "No, that's alright." I said in a polite manner with as professional a smile I could pull off while I was in a ravenous state, and then off we went to the front to do a supervised run of my duties.

It was nothing wholly different from what I did back home. I'd help customers who wanted to deposit or withdraw money or even make a new account; pay bills; pay loans. The only real differences was that the diversity in the customer base went beyond species, and the frequent exchanging of bits and Earth currencies. It was very, very helpful that Neighagara First was one of the few businesses that had a computer database and system set up. A very cost-heavy investment given the lack of overall infrastructure, but then again AICB was one of those banks that loved being at the "forefront of customer service."

There were a few tellers that I was introduced to. Both human, named Jayson and Lauren. At this point in the day there was a lull in customers so I decided to organize the state of my booth when I spotted Rebecca, walking alongside two ponies, approach.

"Hey Matthew, how's things?"

"Busy and hot. The lack of air conditioning reminds me of my work back home." Thankfully she laughed at my joke, even if only obviously to seem polite.

"Well, I want you to meet my partner in crime." Rebecca said, pointing out the orange-maned blue pony next to her on her left. "Giselle."

"Nice to meet you, new guy." The pony said in greeting, waving her hoof.

"She and I started here around the same time, so if you need any help just ask either of us." Rebecca explained. "Jayson and Lauren are good too," she continued and leaned in with her hand raised to whisper, "but they started here after us so we know a bit more." Adding a wink Rebecca stood straight and waved energetically when the other two tellers looked over and greeted her. "And this cutie here is Raven."

I raised an eyebrow at Rebecca's emphasis but paid no mind. The blacked-haired pony meanwhile gave a quick look at Rebecca before whirling her attention back my way. "H-hi. I'm Raven." The bespectacled mare on Rebecca's right introduced herself. "I actually don't work here, I'm just visiting Giselle."

Giselle nodded to confirm this, the back curls of her mane bouncing from the movement.

"Me and Giselle are off the clock right now, so we're just gonna get a bite to eat since Raven's here." Hearing the word "eat" my stomach decided to rumble, to which the three girls most definitely seemed to hear it but tried their best not to openly laugh.

"Uh...haven't eaten in a while." I stated the obvious while trying to swallow down my embarrassment. I was only scheduled for total of five and a half hours and it had only been three hours since the orientation, meaning that I didn't qualify for a lunch break. And of course like the smart person I am, I had decided to use my fifteen for a nap rather than replenishing myself with carbs at the nearby vending machine.

"I see." Rebecca smirked and began to leave with the two ponies, sending me a dainty wave. "Oh, before I forget." Rebecca said, and she stopped and turned to face me again. "We're having a branch outing tonight, Matthew. Though kind of hush-hush." She said and gestured with her eyes toward the other two tellers. "But I'd love for you to come with." She said, adding a wink.

My eyes widened at that and I gulped again. "Y-yeah. Uh, sure. Definitely. Where at?"

"A place called 'Crash' not too far from here. Just a couple of blocks. Even with all of the clubs and bars in town...it's pretty hard to miss. Anyway, hope to see you." After making another dainty wave she caught up with the two mares and they began to laugh, though Raven less so, the sound of which continued until the door shut.

In a blur half an hour passed and I clocked out of my first day. The stars seemed to align since according to my first week's schedule I had tomorrow off and had the 8:50am - 5:00pm shift the day after. That day happened to be Friday, and according to the brochure Neighagara Falls had a very burgeoning nightlife.

That afternoon, after stopping by my apartment room I did some quick shopping at the nearby market then joined a few of my neighbors for a late lunch/early dinner. As it turned out not everyone who lived at the apartments worked at the bank, but obviously they then had to pay for their own rent and the accompanying services. Kerri, Saul and Gabriel all worked in nearby Manehatten but found it easier to live here and just commute.

--

Neighagara Falls was definitely not a quiet town to live in, despite the quaint countryside all around. With so many tourists that come by to see the falls, there was always a decent nightlife to be had. When us humans started coming over to Equestria a cottage industry of night clubs and dance bars sprung up all over, Neighagara being no exception.

Like an increasing number of buildings being constructed the club was built with an Earth aesthetic. The design looked no different than a New York or an L.A. club, with tubes of bright neon pinks, greens, blues and reds to spell out the word "Crash" and illustrate an image of a tidal wave along the front facade. However rather than using electricity to superheat gas to make the lights shine bright enough to turn this portion of the night into day, what was coursing through the tubes of glass was magic.

A long line of humans and ponies had formed, curling around the corner out of sight from where I stood across the street. Both men and women were dressed in their finest eye-catching designs. The ponies too, while not fully clothed, were wearing accessories or pieces of clothing here or there to accentuate their already bright colored coats and manes, which they styled in a number of ways from faux-hawks, mohawks, pompadours, buzz cut or what have you. Not wanting to let the line get any longer while standing there I hurried to find my place to get in.

About fifteen minutes later and I was presenting my I.D. to the two bouncers, a thick necked man in a black tee that said "security" in white letters with arms the size of my head, and a gruff-looking dark blue stallion that stood up to my chin. That's not counting his bright green mane that would then bring his height to my nose. In any case they were definitely an imposing-looking pair, a bit larger than the average for obvious reasons. After checking my age the man spoke into the radio he had on hand and waved me through. It became apparent why both needed to be present when the stallion stopped the pair of mares that were going to go in after me.

"Sorry girls, too young." I heard the earth pony's surprisingly level pitched voice said before the music swamped my ear drums when the bouncer standing inside held the door open. Looking back over my shoulder the pair of ponies didn't protest and stepped out of line as a woman and a suavely dressed green stallion stepped up. There sure wasn't any way I'd have been able to tell that the mares weren't "legal." Heck, I don't even know what that even means for ponies.

A deep voice boomed in front of me, "You comin' in, or what?" and with an awk-weird smile I mutely apologized and scurried in to appease the scowling bouncer. Down the hall another set of doors greeted me from where the music felt almost pressurized and ready to flow toward me. The lights were a dim purple then blue then green, changing along with the beat of the quick tempo. Pushing the swinging doors open, the full brunt of the music cascaded over me, along with the heat of the dozens of bodies endlessly moving in the darkened expanse of the club's interior. Strobes and spotlights cut through the dark and flashed in an ongoing pulse that almost changed the speed of how I saw things move.

I walked forward, spotting groups and pairs of people and ponies smiling and dancing and drinking. The open area became more cluttered with furniture towards the walls and near the bar area on the far opposite side of the entrance, where a crowd of club goers had enmeshed into a glut of bodies.

Through the loud music I heard a voice call out to me from my right and spotted Rebecca waving at me, wearing a sheer black top and a silky red knee length skirt. "Hey, Matthew! Over here!" I headed over to where she was, at the couches along the wall where several people and ponies were talking and laughing with one another.

"Hey!" I called back and the others eyed me with distracted interest when I arrived.

With a bright beaming smile, Rebecca gave me a light hug. "Glad you could make it."

The affection helped me return a smile as I instinctively wrapped my arms around the back of her waist, feeling her skin exposed by the backless top she was wearing. "Yeah, me too." Not knowing if I lingered for too long or not we broke the embrace and Rebecca pulled me closer over to the couches.

Speaking loudly in order to be heard over the ongoing music, Rebecca began with a wry smile, "Let's get to introductions, shall we?"

"Sure." I nodded and noticed two familiar ponies from this morning. The mares also noticed my and Rebecca's approach and turned to face us.

"You already know Giselle and Raven." Rebecca chimed cheerfully to the blue and light gray ponies, respectively.

"Hey." I said in greeting, continuing my trend of monosyllabic responses.

Giselle replied in kind with a "Hi" before taking a sip of the drink tucked on her foreleg using a straw.

"Hey...again..."

With another tug Rebecca pulled me to the other part of the couch where the larger group sat in expectation. Their conversations largely stopped as Rebecca extended her arm to begin pointing each of them out. "You didn't see them today but this is the rest of the day-shift team: Pete, the daytime manager. Don't worry, he's cool." She gestured to a tall and muscular red haired man with a curly light brown beard who raised his glass before taking a drink, "Jef," she moved my attention to a dark skinned man with a longish face and dark hair, "...is actually a friend of ours. He doesn't work at the bank. You're messing up my groove here, Jef!"

The man smiled and laughed and with a shrug said, "Ay! It's what I do!"

After they both playfully shook their clenched fists at one another in a pretend show of anger, Rebecca started again with the introductions. "Here's Sam," a guy with light skin and a shaven head nodded and stood up to shake my hand to which I reciprocated, "Sunbeam," an orange pegasus pony whose shoulders Sam placed his arm around when he sat back down on the couch, "Daisy," a blue unicorn with a dark mane the color that I couldn't distinguish in the current lightning, though I also noticed a circlet placed on her head that sat just around her horn, "Daisey with an 'E'," a short-haired red head girl with very high stiletto heels, "and Lucky Strike." I noted the mint green stallion with hairy hooves guzzling down a mug before slamming it onto the low table in front of him.

Letting out a loud belch, he looked back at me with his amber eyes and seemed to inspect me before saying, "Hey, how you doin', guy?"

"Um. Good." I said with confusion inherent in my voice. 'Was that a...New England accent?'

Bringing herself close to me Rebecca spoke in a loud but hushed voice into my ear. "Don't mind him too much. We brought him to Boston for St. Patrick's Day last year and he's just been obsessed with finding his apparent Irish roots ever since, haha."

"Go Redsox!" The stallion suddenly hollered, earning a few cheers from people nearby while his fellow ponies looked at him in confusion.

"Hey Beckems, listen to this..." The girl named Daisey leaned over to Becky and showed her something on her cell phone.

"Oh. Be right back, Matthew. Have some fun and mingle!"

Even as I nodded and remained standing where I was, looking around the sea of ponies and people writhing along to the music on the dance floor. With a sigh I sort of stood around like a schlub as the others continued to talk amongst themselves. But after a moment I decided to head to the bar - one of the smaller bars on the side that served bottled beer and only a few selections of liquor, not the main one that had the full compliment of alcohol as well as several imports on tap, and returned to the couches about ten or so minutes later after pushing through the crowd of sweaty dancers.

Taking a sip of my overpriced beer I happened to glance over at Rebecca when she downed a shot one of the other girls handed her. Our eyes met and she said something that was covered up by the loud music. She tried again, making me shrug and cup my hand to my ear.

"You do any yet?" Her voice finally reached me when I took a step forward and she practically screamed, waving the small glass in her hand for me to see.

Not wanting to yell too loud I stepped closer until I was close enough to be pulled down onto the couch. Making sure I was properly seated, brushing my leg against hers for a moment I said into her ear, "No, haven't. Why, any recommendations?" I turned my ear toward her and she thankfully didn't scream too loud.

"Do I ever!" She showed a vial of yellow liquid that she produced from her handbag.

"What is it?"

"It's an energy drink. Equestrian-made. Like, super potent stuff. If you've ever had vodka and red bull, this is like that but times sideways eight."

Hearing that made me raise an eyebrow. "Sideways eight?"

"Infinity, duh!" Rebecca then proceeded to twirl her finger in the air to paint an image of the symbol before suddenly slapping my arm and laughing from the look of my concerned expression. "Come on, it's not like I put roofies in them. Or did I?" I did my best to ignore that comment and just chuckled when she waggled her eyebrows while lightly elbowing my side.

I raised my bottle and pointed to it, and after taking a drink said, "I'm good with this for now, thanks, Rebecca."

She remained persistent, going so far as to pout cutely and touch my arm a bit more. "Aww, come on. Don't you know that you're supposed to give in to peer pressure and try to be cool?"

My pause prompted her to go into a full pout mode.

"...fine, alright." I said, finally relenting.

"Whoo!" She pumped her fist into the air and did a little dance while still seated. "Alright guys, Matthew's in!" She called out to the others.

"Cool."

"Alright."

Were a few of the responses I managed to hear over the music. Feeling like I was back in high school being accepted by the cool kids I smiled and took another swig of my beer. "Matt."

"Hmm?" Rebecca turned to me when Daisy and Daisey continued the conversation they were having.

"Call me 'Matt.'"

She smiled, hearing that. "Fine. Call me Becky, then."

"Sure thing." I returned the smile until she stood up and started talking with the others again.

"See? Even the new guy is doing it, Sunbeam!" Looking over to my right at the other end of the sectional couch, I saw Sam sitting next to Sunbeam. Quite closely, might I add.

The pony rolled her eyes and sighed. Through the music I managed to hear her say, "Fine, Sam. Fine, I'll do one, too. But you're covering my shift tomorrow. You know how hungover I get after drinking Booster Bombs."

"Sure thing, sweetie." Sam said with a half-lidded smile. Leaning in they touched their noses together and did a little Eskimo kiss. Then jumping to his feet like a linebacker called from the bench, Sam flashed a wide toothy grin. "Alright, I'm gonna tell the bartender to make some more! Help me out with bringing 'em over, Lucky."

"Right on!" The stallion practically howled as he cantered over.

"You go do that." Sunbeam said while blowing Sam a kiss with a touch of her wingtip to her lips as he and the stallion disappeared into the crowd.

"I think Sam loves drinking too much!" Daisey commented when she sauntered over with a tall glass with some sort of Long Island Iced Tea and gave a bit of a laugh, prompting Sunbeam to do so as well, shaking her head.

"Yeah, I know. But he's just so cute when he gets excited!"

Breaking away my stare I looked around, and saw that no one seemed to be weirded out by the whole thing like I was. I took another few swigs of my beer until it was empty and left it on the low table where a bar girl wearing a skimpy black top and jeans came by to clean up our glassware.

After half an hour and three mixed drinks later, I got to know a bit more about the bank from Pete (who apparently ended his enlistment in the Army just a few months before Neo Equinox sprouted out of the ocean). At that point Sam and the pony named...Lucky Strike, I think? came back with the shot glasses and mugs.

All of us who were taking these shots, seven of us in all, got to our feet and stood around a few tables with our glasses and mugs spread about with me being made to stand with Becky on my left and Raven on my right. Each of us had a large mug of what looked like Sprite or something, a shot glass of what smelled like jagermeister and one of tequila. Becky at my table and Jef at the other each gave out one vial of the "energy drink" per person/pony. Once Sam and Lucky finished giving out glasses to the others in a few minutes, everything seemed to be ready.

"Alright, this is how it's gonna go down." Sam started to explain and after quickly putting together the glasses for himself, he stood behind Sunbeam who was on her hind legs with her hooves resting on the tabletop. "You got your mug and your shots. First, set your shot glasses like so." As he said that he proceeded to fit the shot glasses into the mouth of the mug and then picked up the vial of golden-yellow liquid. "At the 'go', you drop the Booster into the jager. You take the shot of tequila so the jager falls in, like pulling the pin on a grenade. Then you chug the mug, jager, Booster and all. Any questions?"

"Can you try not to get all gay on me like you did the last time you did Booster Bombs?" Pete called out from the side, not taking part in the shots since he explained to me earlier that he was doing the morning shift tomorrow.

Everyone laughed and Sam puckered his lips toward Pete, making him cringe and laugh. "Anyone else?" Sam asked, turning back to the rest of us. I shook my head when his gaze went to me and he nodded. "Sounds like we're ready!"

Lucky, like Daisy and Sunbeam did, held his hoof within the arm of the mug and tucked the jager shot glass within his wrist...or ankle...whatever it is that ponies have with the other on the table and the vial next to it. The stallion brought his shot glass over his mug and shouted out, "Time for a drink, bitches! Whooo!"

A number of us in the group called out, "Cheers!" and people outside of the group raised their glasses and while watching us with a smile while a few others decided to scream out various other languages. "Salut!", "kanpai!", and "Ba'sal'a'ma'ti!" were the few that I managed to catch.

Getting into the spirit I yelled out, "Prost!" much to everyone's approval and dropped my glass vial into the jager shot before taking hold of the "tequila pin."

Sam dropped the vial into the jager for Sunbeam, then took the tequila shot glass and pressed it against her muzzle. Tilting her head up she took the shot then promptly brought the mug up herself and drank it steadily with Sam touching his hand at the bottom of it to help her.

After downing the tequila, Lucky slammed on the table with his hoof and bounced his jager shot and vial into the air, then managed to catch them both in his mug before chugging it all down.

Just barely edging out Daisy I finished my "mug and all" second-last, much to everyone's enjoyment and cheers. I high fived and hollered from the burning in my gullet from that crazy concoction. And then I froze.

Whatever the energy drink did hit me hard and fast.

The last few days of fatigue melted away and I felt even better than I did on my best of days.

My arms and legs twitched, as though ready to run an obstacle course right then and there. Everything around me began to both blur and sharpen simultaneously, like a digital camera adjusting its lenses before taking a shot.

My heart began to pound and my di- "C'mon." Becky grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward the dance floor, much to the hollering approvals and catcalls of the others.

I glanced over my shoulder to yell back at them when, I caught Sam and Sunbeam kissing heavily on the couch, her wings untucked from her sides and wrapped around Sam to pull him closer. "H-holy shit." I ended up saying but then I bumped into Becky in front of me and she nearly fell over. Luckily I caught her with faster than expected reflexes and she let out a loud laugh as I pulled her back to her feet. "S-sorry!"

"No biggie." She said barely audibly. Becky looked deep into my eyes and smiled. Not a wide, toothy one, but an intense sort of smile. One that seemed to pull me closer to her. Make me want to feel her back with my hand again.

The bass of the music thumped and roared all around me. Rapid beeps synched with beams of light from strobes that shot across the ceiling. The ringing and synthesized rhythms called me to move.

Becky leaned against me, turning so her body was pressing against my groin and moved from side to side in a standing sashay. I wrapped my arms around her waist, letting my hand roam up and down her sides to feel the stark differences between her sweaty skin and her clothing. The alcohol really started to kick in, making it hard to track movement. I managed to keep to my feet just fine, but this was one of those times I wished I ate a larger meal beforehand.

Rookie mistake. A freshman move. The alcohol would be going straight into my bloodstream without being absorbed by carbs and fats. Wasn't this what I learned from all of those frat and house parties I used to go to? I shake my head slowly, deciding I really need to fix this I mutter out, "I'm...gonna get some water." Or at least, I hope that's what I said. My mind is feeling sluggish and everything around me seems so much more hectic. And the throbbing need to release was going to kill me if I kept grinding into Becky like that.

As I walked through the crowd, I think Becky caught up to me and asked me something, and I turned and responded...but I don't remember what it was I said. I just need to get some water. Becky keeps asking me questions, I think she looks concerned because she's keeping her hand on my shoulder.

I blink. I'm at the bar asking the bartender for a water. I blink.

I'm still waiting for that water. Where's that water?

I blink. The cool sensation quenches my thirst I throw away the plastic cup after crunching on an ice cube or two.

I blink. Her arms draped over my shoulders, pulling our bodies close. We're in the middle of the dancing crowd, moving together to the thunderous beat of the music pumping out from speakers placed all over the club. Next thing I know, her tongue started darting into my mouth, catching between my upper lips and teeth at first, before dipping farther in, almost reaching my molars before drawing back.

I chased after that delicious feeling, surprising her and myself with how quickly I pressed our lips together again for a second taste. Then a third. She then breaks the kiss. "Let's get out of here." She says in a husky voice, her gray-brown eyes full of wanting.

"Sure." I pant out and after a few moments of stumbling, tripping along the sidewalk and going up the stairs, my brain registers me falling back onto a mattress. My mattress. I think.

I vaguely recall that we had a quick talk about where we were going to go in-between making out in public when we left the club.

A few of the passersby seemed to appreciate the show we put on by cat calling and hooting. I think we decided on going to my apartment. Whatever. That doesn't matter now as my tongue darts into her mouth again and I smile at the taste of her succulent saliva going down my throat.

"Lemme see that package, new guy." Her voice took on a husky manner and I more than wanted to oblige her.

I fully unbutton my pants and pull them off, enjoying the sound of her impressed cooing and heavy breathing. Next I pull off my briefs, letting out a soft groan as I free myself from the restricting material after being so hard for so long over the course of the night.

Remembering that my last sexual experience had been quite a few years ago now, I reached my hands out to eagerly caress her body. To feel more of her body's warmth. I get a pleased moan as my fingers dance over her svelte form, moving up and down those full hips. Bringing my hands farther up a twinge of excitement rushes through me as I prepare to grab hold and knead the fuck of those beautiful breasts of hers but I'm sadly mistaken to find no breasts there. Not even nipples. That's weird. My fingers and thumbs lightly scratch along her torso.

"Ah!" She exclaims and shivers at my sudden forceful grasping.

"Just like that...ooooh, just. Like. That. AHHHHH!"

The encouragement keeps me going and I smile in a goofy manner and her lips smush against mine once more.

Her leg began to rub me, up and down and side to side, making against my dick and it feels like velour against the shaft. Without a word she straddles me and gives a throaty, sexy giggle.

We kiss and nip at each others' lips, practically wrestling over who will dominate the next kissing session. To win this match she began to move her hips, rubbing her wet lower lips up and down my shaft.

Fuck.

"Fuck." I moan out. She's won and continues dragging herself over me again and again, gripping and tugging on the bottom side of my dick, brushing against the sensitive underside of my dick head, making my stomach quiver as she lets out louder and louder moans, a tension obviously building inside of herself. Wetter and wetter her movements coax me ever closer to cumming

The slick gyrations of her rubbing against me finally become unbearable to hold back against and I begin to spurt shot after shot of my semen onto my stomach, which mixed onto her body, as well.

"It's not enough." She whispers into my ear, leaning fully onto me and pressing my cum all over us. "I want it in me. All of it. Until there's nothing left." Without waiting for my consent, taking what she had already won, she pressed me in-between her tight folds, tight and pulsating and trying to milk me just as she said she would.

Her movements are wild and fast, then tortuously slow. She kisses me and I hold us tight, putting strength into my legs to pump faster and faster into her until I let out another load. Then another.

I shouldn't be able to but I let out a final gush of semen, and when I finally pull out of her I feel glob after glob pour out onto my softening penis and into the sheets.

She then settled on top of me, resting her head onto her chest and let out a content sigh.

The feel of her body draped over me like a blanket was the last thing I remember, before blacking out.

With head throbbing, joints creaking, mouth tasting like cigarettes, cough syrup and ass, and my arms and legs numbed in exhaustion, I awoke feeling as though I did a marathon through a coal factory while on stilts. The only good part about being conscious at the moment was the feel of the sun above poring through the windowpane and bringing a comforting warmth onto my skin. Annoyingly however, there was something hard nudging at my temple.

"Whazzat?" I managed to groan out with my vision spinning as I looked over to see a pony lying in bed with me, resting her head on my shoulder with her muzzle facing my way. Her foreleg was draped on my chest so her hoof jutted against me every so often. A look of utter contentment made her lips curl upward as her front hooves then moved to wrap around my arm, making her close enough to hold our bodies even close together. She looked awfully familiar with that black mane of hers and...finally the implications of seeing Raven here hits me. I sigh and close my eyes as blurry and broken images of last night flutter about inside my mind like a parrot with a bag over its head.

I start to tremble, as a throbbing migraine wracks at my skull and I gulp. Managing somehow to remain quiet, I can only whisper out, "...fuck."

Safety Needs

Urging myself to keep calm I carefully began to pull myself out of Raven's clutches, hoping that I didn't wake her up with my graceless escape. I froze for a moment when I heard the pony mumble something and sigh happily but then she settled back onto the bed, nuzzled the pillow I had lifted myself off of and then turned over to face away from me. Of course once I found success and freedom a new terrible obstacle presented itself. Rolling across the mattress to get to my feet I groggily sat up and began feeling the sticky remains of my cum on my stomach and chest....and saw the deep yellowish stain on my bed...all while my nose was being bombarded by a thick, salty smell that floated all over the apartment that refused to leave even when I cracked open the window.

Great.

The feel of the cold hardwood floor against the balls of my feet was interspersed with the cotton texture of my dress shirt and silky tie and jeans as they were apparently thrown with careless abandon at some point during last night's events. My padding over to the bathroom (that actually didn't have a bathtub or shower since the apartment had communal showers in the first floor of the fourth building in the complex), which turned out to be more of a set of stumbles while suffering from excruciating muscle soreness, nearly ended in disaster when I almost slipped on the tile but saved myself from cracking open my head by slamming my elbow against the counter. It felt as if a dozen kids wearing those shitty light-up running shoes that are obnoxious to look at spent half an hour just kicking and punching at my legs and arms and stomach while I took it like a bitch, when the biggest kid amongst them took a bat and swung at my funny bone.

It was by some miracle that the pony in the next room didn't wake up from the ruckus. I had nearly sawed my tongue off from biting down on it with how much I tried to stay quiet. After a moment of anguish and turmoil I managed to shakily stand up like a newborn foal (the irony of this image does not escape me) taking its first steps and close the door, lock it, then look at the mirror. The person I saw in my reflection was a train wreck.

Messy, oily hair. White speckles of dried gel are easy to spot in my light brown hair. Dark areas under my eyes, which were bloodshot and veiny. There's drool stain running from the corner of my mouth down to my chin. Bite marks adorn my neck and shoulder. Ugh.

I shut my eyes and placed my hands on my face, groaning as another migraine coursed through my head...

--

Flashes of light.

The drumming and thunder of bass; screams and shrieks of synthesized notes blaring.

Amidst the mass of dancing bodies around us I pressed against her and she reciprocated; arched her back; kissed me while looking over her shoulder, made possible by her long and slender neck. Her tongue caressed my teeth and hooked and flicked my upper lip quickly. Her forearm is wrapped around the back of my neck, keeping me close. But I had no intention of pulling myself away. My arms are wrapped around her waist. Hands roaming. Grasping. Pressing.

Her clothes feel so soft against my palms. So warm. Bristling yet smooth to my finger tips. Did her top and skirt always feel this way?

I lightly drag my fingernails along her stomach. With a jump she jerked closer to me. Heh. I feel myself twitch from hearing that cute moan of hers. Hmmm, and I love the smell of her hair. I break our kiss and drag my lips lower, to the meeting point of her shoulder and neck. Her long locks of black hair tickle my nose and she gasps just slightly from the nibble of my teeth.

Her arm leaves my neck and I feel the her use her wrist to rub against my groin, tracing around the outline of my hard member that was pressed tight in the confining material of my underwear.

She takes a step, leading me to do so as well and I pull into her as we both lean slightly forward. I ground my hips against her backside, forward, up, then down. I feel her press back against my movements, back, down, then up.

My hunger increases and I growl. Grasping her neck in my hand I pull her tighter into my greedy reach and we both stand up, her eyes locked onto mine and I close the distance to devour the taste of her lips and tongue, probing deeply and she shudders against my vicious attack. My touches soften and again she gives a wanton shudder, obviously weak against my insatiable desire.

In the boom and crest of the music playing in the background Raven said in a shivering lustful voice, "Let's get out of here." Her gray-brown eyes are full of wanting.

"Sure." I said and followed the pony to the front door.

--

My cheeks puff out, and I nearly hurl from the memory. "Urk..." I practically leap to the toilet situated next to the sink and bring my face close to the bowl, retching and continually spitting out the sour taste of my stomach acids that keep leaking into my mouth and making my face cringe.

My nose is runny, tears blurring my vision from the strained tightening of my throat and heaving breaths that escape my lungs. I cough and spit the sour saliva one last time as the need to vomit eventually subsides after a minute or so.

I'm gasping. Panting.

Is it from the alcohol that's still in my system? How much did I drink? It couldn't have been just that one shot.

Is it from remembering that portion of the night? Passively experiencing something that I had no previous recollection of happening until just now?

Yes? No? Maybe. I don't know.

All that matters now is that I have to wipe my mouth of the drool and spittle onto my towel nearby. I turn away from my new porcelain best friend and crawl on my hands and knees toward the towel rack on the opposite wall like a shipwrecked survivor that had been washed upon the beach of some desert island. After drying my face I took to my feet with some effort and approached the counter once more. I reached for my mouthwash and desperately unscrewed the top, then filled my mouth completely with the green minty liquid. The bite I felt in the interior of my cheeks and on my tongue was a welcome feeling as I proceeded to gargle and swish away the morning breath (among other things) away. I must've gargled the mouth wash for a good five minutes straight before I finally spat out into the sink and then did additional gargles of water to clear my pallet. I may or may not have used my toothbrush to the point of making my gums bleed a bit.

After several repeats of this process the bottle was near empty when I finally tossed it into the waste bin. But even with the fresh taste of minty flavor on my tongue I still smell it. I...I still feel it all over me. Quickly I grab the faucet knob and turned it open, letting my hands get doused in a blast of icy cold water before it eventually turned into a more tolerable temperature. The face cloth hanging on the towel rack behind me was then re-purposed to become an ad hoc body scrubber after running it in the still-running water.

Body wash, body wash...where's the body wash?

I find the bottle of Equestria-approved body wash standing atop the toilet's tank and pour a liberal amount of the clear gel onto the towel. A moment of sudsing is all that's needed before I begin wiping myself down. My arms, my torso, my neck, my junk...especially my junk. In fact I never scrubbed my junk so hard before. I hissed at how sensitive it was. I frowned and admittedly whined a bit at what I had put my mini-me through last night.

The next step was then to wring out the body wash from the towel and then make sure to keep it moist enough to wash off my body. After all was said and done I went through the arduous task of washing my hair, finding the shampoo on the toilet tank as well, over the sink.

The whole process took about twenty or so minutes from my near-death experience to my drying off using my larger bath towel after which I wrapped it around my waist. The face towel, after serving its purpose, was tossed into the waste basket as well. It deserved a moment of silence of course, and then turning the lock of the door open I stepped out of the bathroom and-

"Good morning." Raven said,then yawned while rubbing her clenched eyes with the soft central groove of her hoof. She turned to face me with her head propped on my pillow.

'SHIT!' That thought remained in my head for the next few seconds, as though I screamed at an internalized Grand Canyon that echoed my voice all over the place.

I stumbled back for a moment but then catch myself, bouncing my hand against the counter top behind me and instinctively I push forward into the main (and only) room of the apartment. My other hand is gripping tightly on the hem of the towel around my waist, as though it were under threat of being ripped away from me at any moment.

The pony laying in my bed blinked then asked with a worried expression on her face, "You ok, Matt?" She sat up, her black mane that was usually tied up in a neat bun, now cascading over her shoulders.

"Y-yeah!" I replied with a crack in my voice. I cleared my throat before continuing my verbal flailing. "Never better!"

"Oh, good." She answered thoughtfully, somehow not noticing how much I was spazzing out. Nearly a minute of silence passed before Raven continued. "Listen, about last night. I know it was pretty awkward that things ended up the way they did, so..." Her eyes then focused on the bed, which was twice as long as she was while laying on her side.

Now that I think about it, I was pretty damn wasted. By sheer luck I did not end up barfing last night and my balance was likely reminiscent of how a circus performer would look while balancing atop a ten-foot ball.

She had to have been intoxicated at least twice as much as me, considering her relative size. Ignoring the differences in metabolization of course, since my thoughts are more along the lines of 'Uhhhhhhhhhhh' mode rather than 'Let's remember high school driver's ed and calculate what my probable B.A.C. was, shall we?'.

While my mind hesitated my mouth decided to take the initiative from me. "Yeah. I think it's best we forget about it, too."

Her eyes flickered up immediately to my direction in surprise at my words before slowly settling downward again, giving a sad smile that then simply turned sad. "...n-no...um...heh...I guess...you don't want to get breakfast together, then..." She brushed a lock of her mane behind her ear, giving an awkward smile and furrowed brows while shifting how she lied atop my mattress.

I blink. "Wait, what?" It's my brain's turn to ask, finally managing to steal the microphone back from my mouth and taking control once more.

"No...I-I get it." Raven said while giving a strained smile, now. She brushed the other side of her mane back with her hoof. "I'm sorry for forgetting that...you're a human and I'm just...a pony." Without looking at me she put on her glasses from the side table and got to her hooves, hurrying around the bed toward the door.

"H-hold on, Raven. I didn't mean it like-"

"You made yourself plenty clear, Matt." Raven said to cut me off with her hoof resting on the doorknob. We stood in silence for nearly a minute. I, frozen in place and unsure what to say...unsure if I even wanted to say anything to clear myself. The gray pony mare faced away from me, not once turning to look at me. And then I heard her open the door. "...I hope you enjoy your stay in Equestria. Just...don't drink too much, next time."

"It's going to be pretty awkward if you leave before I can explain myself." I finally managed out. Something urged me to keep her from leaving just yet. There had to be something that would make her stay so things wouldn't end on such a sour note. It seemed to work, since she stopped to hear what I had to say. "I mean, what if we run into each other, again?"

"That won't be a problem." Raven replied almost scornfully. "I don't live in Neighagara." After saying this the door closed behind her and with that, she was gone.

Chapter 2.

"Hello, welcome to Neighgara First Bank." I said in greeting to the customer stepping up to my booth. "How may I help you?"

"Hrm, haven't seen you here, before. Whatever happened to Mary-Anne?"

"I wouldn't know, ma'am. I'm new."

"Yes," The pony replied simply. "I've noticed. Well, I'd just like to do a withdrawal." She said, sliding a filled out slip and accompanying bank card toward me.

"Of course. Please give me a moment." Taking the slip and card I followed proper procedure, looking up the pony's account information on one of the few working computer systems in Equestria to see the available money for withdrawal. Wow, that's a lot. And out of that she had written that she wanted to withdraw...450 bits?!

My eyes scan over the slip again to make sure. The scrawls, a pleasant-looking cursive that more often than not unicorns managed with their use of magic when they wrote, had in fact the numbers "4," "5," "0," in that order. I was perfectly comfortable in reading this level of Equestrian since I had practiced on the several flights and boat ride to Neo Equineox since Clip Clop's "Cultural Sensitivity" seminar. I was quite proud of the ✓+ I got on the reading and writing exercises we were subjected to.

As it was just short of the 500 bits that required a manager's permission to sign it off, I went ahead with processing the withdrawal order for the customer and took out several bags from the appropriate basket that was kept on the shelf under the counter.

"I'll just be a moment, ma'am." I said with a nod and went to the back room to gather the rolls of pre-sorted bits. It was a slow period in the day so I was the only one in the front at the moment while Daisy and Pete and a few others were in the back tending to the bank's commercial clientele or advising customers with mortgages or loans in another portion of the floor. In a rear stock room where coins and bits were kept I found the cardboard rolls of bits that each held twenty pieces of the Equestrian currency. Soon enough I was back at my booth and began inputting the actions and waiting for the sluggish system to acknowledge my keystrokes. It takes a second longer than I liked, but the information I wanted to input is the same as what's present to me on the screen. Before I apply the change I sift through the four bags full of bits to check that there are the proper number of rolls, twenty-two rolls and ten bits, then I push them, one bag at a time, under the bulletproof and magically reinforced booth window to the customer. The pink-maned unicorn wearing glasses looks pleased by my brisk work, not even looking to check the bags before taking them under her magical grasp and putting them into her saddlebags.

I check the customer slip one last time and then after applying the info update I print out a receipt, which I also slide along with her bank card, under the window to the mare. "Will there be anything else, Ms. Ever Ring?"

"No, you've been a great help, Matthew. Thanks." She replied with a small, polite smile and put away the rest of her things. "Hope to see you around."

I managed out a "Have a good day" to her before she turned and left, exiting the bank. "Next customer please." I then say, and a woman steps forward with a slip and her bank card.

I've probably never had a worse hangover than the one I had yesterday. It's not even headaches that are the worst part; those had already passed after I got myself a good breakfast and drank nearly a gallon of water before sluggishly returning to my room to dress up. No, it was the grogginess and muscle soreness.

After Raven left, I cleaned up the clothes on the floor and threw them into my hamper then began to dress up for work. After ten minutes of sluggish movement and feeling sick and dizzy from said movement, I then realized that I didn't have work. How silly of me. So I fell back onto the mattress, forgetting about the still-wet splooge stain that then ruined my dress pants.

Besides a perilous trip to the commons area for another shower and then dinner several hours after falling asleep again, that was, in a nutshell, how I spent my day off yesterday.

After the last in a long line of customers left the bank I felt a slap on my back. I knew full well who it was behind me without needing to turn around and confirm. "Hey. You looked like you had a blast the other night." Becky said, cheerful and friendly as ever.

Being reminded of what happened that time at the club, but more importantly the following morning, my thoughts turn broody. In fact I say in a more depressed manner than I meant to, "I don't wanna talk about it." Rather than address her directly I chose to look out at the empty bank floor, ready for non-existent customers.

Her hand grasped my shoulder and whirled me around to face her. A concerned look had made Becky furrow her eyes and make her lips pout slightly. "Did...you get shut down, or something?"

"No I didn't. And...that's sort of the problem."

Her expression turned happy again and she even laughed a bit. "Oh." She said as though she understood my problem and wearing a smile, the brunette went so far as to shake her head. "Don't worry about not having protection, Matt!"

"It's not that!"

She pouted her lips out cutely and asked, "The not getting STDs or can't get her pregnant part?"

I feel myself bristle at her misunderstanding. "Neither of those! I didn't want to get that far at all. Hell, I only kept going because I thought she was you!"

Hearing my confession she raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I know my sultry looks can have that effect on men, but why'd you think I'd go all the way with you? We only just met that morning."

I'm taken aback by her straightforward reply. And it doesn't take long for me to feel as though I've been acting like a typical sex-obsessed bro of some kind and stammered to explain myself. "Well...yeah, but...Becky-..."

"Nuh uh." She frowns and cuts me off. "You've lost your privilege to call me that for one whole week, mister."

The momentum thus remains in Becky's favor and I'm stuck reacting to her as I try to figure out what just happened. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously." She scowled as I continued to mutely stare at her and quite unexpectedly she lightly punched my arm. "Hey now, I'm not some easy lay that'll just let any cute guy that comes around to get into my panties, Matt."

Would I be an ass to wonder what that makes Raven? And it wasn't like she was wearing panties, either. If it weren't for Clip Clop's sensitivity seminar I definitely would have been thrown for a loop about how naked the ponies around here are.

"By the way, I'm still going to call you Matt."

"Whatever." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and index finger. I've just been under too much stress lately to try impressing everyone by acting cool or aloof anymore.

"And for future reference, just because a girl is super friendly doesn't mean they have the hots for you, ok? Because this one time-"

"Yeah! I got it." I finally manage to cut her off and luckily I don't suffer any hitting from her as a result.

"Just as long as you do, Matt." Lightly biting her bottom lip, a thought seemed to come to mind. "And so this begs the question..." she started to say, earning my eye contact now. "You totally misunderstood the signals I was setting up for Raven, huh?"

My eyes grew even wider in disbelief as I thought back to all of the strangely friendly gestures and mannerisms that Becky was doing. Emphasizing that Raven was cute or being very forward about inviting me to the club, placing me next to the mare at almost every opportunity while standing on my other side...I pinched my nose bridge again and had to close my eyes over how oblivious I was to what in retrospect should have been obvious. "Honestly? Before you taught me that very important lesson on girls just now, I thought you were flirting with me the other day. I mean, you took me out to dance, didn't you?"

"Oh no..." She gasped and brought her hand to cover her mouth for a moment. In my ongoing sense of self-pity I wasn't sure if she was hiding a look of shock or trying to hold back a laugh at my expense. "That was so she could switch places with me when...you didn't make her cry, did you?"

"I...I don't know." I began to feel exasperated by this point, amazed that I didn't even have the energy to punch a wall since I should have been angry after finding all of this out but somehow wasn't. "She didn't in front of me, at least."

"Hrm. That explains why Giselle was in such a sour mood yesterday, at least."

I was about to wonder aloud why Giselle would be involved when I remembered that they were friends.

'I don't live in Neighagara.' Raven's scornful voice echoed in my thoughts. Yeah that's right, Raven was only in town to visit Giselle, wasn't she? I swallowed the bitter taste of my dickishness down like so much a slice of humble pie. Dick flavored. It's probably the only pie I've had that I don't like. "Didn't realize I inadvertently sparked a feud with her friend by freaking out like I did..."

"Giselle and Raven are more than 'just friends,' Matt. They've been besties since back when they went to school as foals and they spent their whole time as fillies growing up together. They're practically sisters."

"Oh, even better." I sighed from hearing that nice new tidbit of information. What my mind imagined as a customer approaching the counter was probably just my eyes wanting to glance away to temporarily escape for a moment. However when I looked the floor remained void of any human or pony in need of our banking services. "So...should I apologize?" I looked back to her figuring that that was a good place to start to fix the mess my prejudices have put me into.

Becky shifted her stance, crossed her arms and eyed me as though I had just asked the dumbest question in the world. "For being an insensitive asshole?" She rhetorically asked, "Yeah, def. But!" She exclaimed with her hand raised and index finger extended toward the ceiling, "That's gonna have to wait. For one thing, it'll lead to a bad impression of you if you crawl around for forgiveness. At least so soon. There's rules and procedures and junk you have to follow."

"Bad impression with who? It's not like Facebook or Twitter exists here." And how thankful I was that the internet was so limited at the moment in Equestria. "I really don't wanna do the whole drama thing, Becky..." She sent me a withering stare. "...Rebecca."

Becky conceded to my first point, but she then soon explained, "No, but word of mouth gets around pretty quick around here. Especially around our group. Everyone's going to ask you how things went. I mean, the two of you were all over each other at Crash."

My stomach churned and the saliva in my mouth turned sour once more when she said that but it was not enough to make me visibly sick. I cleared my throat and brushed my hair back with both my hands, lightly raking my fingernails along my scalp from my forehead to the nape of my neck.

I very nearly thought back to that night again but Becky slapped my arm and broke me out of my reverie. I eyed the girl standing close to me, seeing that she wore a sympathetic look and that always infectious smile. "C'mon, Pete wants me to show you how to work people's accounts. Learning something new will get your mind off of this for a while."

---

It's Friday night tonight and instead of going out to party like most people my age I planned to stay in. Just wonderful. I didn't feel like having to deal with the possibility of running into Giselle any time soon before I could figure out what it was I going to do about this whole mess, so I respectfully declined Becky's invitation to head to an open mic night with her and the others. Instead I was going to the market for some fresh ice and then go back to the apartment to read or something. Maybe a newspaper, I don't know.

There were no chain stores or supermarkets in Neighagara Falls (yet) so the long street a few blocks from the station where carts of fresh fruits, vegetables, general foodstuffs, and other specialty stores were located required me to do a bit of haggling. In addition to the ice, I found a nice-looking dresser that I could use to put my shirts and such in rather than my luggage. I even managed to get free delivery of the furniture if I also purchased a matching desk and chair. Talk about "Barnyard Bargains," alright.

As I was walking home with a magically-enhanced bag containing a slab of ice in one hand and a little informational pamphlet detailing the modest roots of "Rich's Barnyard Bargains" from a small town called "Ponyville," a man's voiced called out to me from behind.

"Hey, Matt!" He shouted, attracting not only my attention but several passersby on both sides of the street. I looked over to see a smartly dressed dark-skinned man with a long face approach with a smile and a wave pointed at me.

I waved back, recognizing him. "Oh, hey, um...Jef, right?"

His smile grew wider and after I tucked the pamphlet into my pocket we shook hands. I made sure to stop on the outside edge of the sidewalk, to allow ponies and people to pass by without much trouble as we began to catch up. "Yeah. Hey man, how've you been? Remember much from Wednesday night?" He asked, laughing a bit.

"I'm, uh...still gettin' there." I admitted with a self-derisive edge in my chuckle.

"Haha, no doubt. You sure are handling that Booster pretty well for your first time, all things considering. I remember my first time with the stuff. I couldn't get out of bed and had to see a doctor." I gulped and could do nothing else but nod, wondering what the hell that damned "energy drink" was really supposed to be. Just then, Jef's smile turned a bit serious. "Just be careful with Raven, alright? She's not a helplessly sensitive girl, but she has her weak points."

"I'll, uh...I'll keep that in mind." I guess he hasn't heard yet? In any case, there was nothing I wanted more than a change of topic right about now when I noticed again how Jef was dressed. The silky black luster of the material and the quality stitching were both top-notch, fitting in a manner that obviously showed it was tailored specifically for him. "Say...that's a really nice suit. Gucci?"

"Etro, actually." Jef explained. "If you really wanna be impressed I've got a set of bench bespoke Caraceni hanging in my closet. Though I don't get enough occasions in the year to wear it, which makes me a sad panda." He chuckled again while scratching his chin.

"Huh." I said with an appreciative nod. I wasn't terribly familiar with Etro but Caraceni was definitely something I knew about. Hand stitched and made in Italy, only a few shops could say they were part of the Caraceni line and were a special rarity nowadays in that they were considered capable of producing bench bespoke suits, which were literally 'made to order' by a master craftsman. Depending on the quality of materials and the order itself the labor-intensive process would make such suits priced upwards to a few thousand dollars. By comparison my dress shirt, suit jacket, pants, shoes and tie altogether barely went over $300. "You just get off of work?"

"Going to work, actually."

My puzzlement obvious, I glanced at my watch. "This late? What sort of third shift job requires you to dress so well?"

"They're very curious hours, yeah, but totally worth it." Jef gave a vague reply, flashing a cheerful smile.

My interest was perked up by hearing that. Not to mention the two of us seemed to catch a few eyes amidst the mares and women passing us by. While I readily welcome the gawking ladies I tried to ignore the enticed looks of the ponies. "Really? Doing what? You're not a spy or something, are you?"

Jef chuckled at that, a bit more so than I would have expected. "No, but there are some similarities, I guess."

"Really? How?"

"I'm not at liberty to reveal that, sir." Jef said teasingly as he mock-reached into his interior breast pocket before giving me a light slap on my arm with a boisterous laugh.

Moving the bag of ice from one hand to another to give my arm some rest I tried to coax a better explanation out of him. "Come on, now I'm curious."

He glanced at something across the street but I paid no mind, instead trying to figure out what it was he meant. "Sorry, but I'm actually running a bit late." Jef explained, quickly glancing at his own watch for a moment. "Tell you what. Why don't we hang out some time? You're at the bank apartments, yeah?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Alright. I'm sharing a house not too far from there. You and me should hit the town...but responsibly."

I couldn't help but crack a smile despite myself. We shook hands again and exchanged our final pleasantries. "Sure, Jef. I'll see you around."

"Alright, see ya, Matt." Letting a woman and pony pair pass us by he started walking across the street to the carriage that had pulled over sometime during our conversation. A team of pegasus stallions were at the front of the dark colored cabin, taking note of Jef as he approached it. As though hearing my thoughts he looked back over his shoulder. "My ride." He said plainly as he opened the door then stepped inside.

I gawked a bit more as the carriage remained across the street for a minute then after they apparently got some signal, the lead driver directed the other pegasi to pull the carriage down the street and around the corner.

Heading back to the bank-owned apartments I went to my mailbox to see if I got anything. So far the amount of junk mail has been as minimal as the computer usage here in Equestria, but one should never downplay the persistence of advertisers and businesses to attract new customers. Of the four buildings that comprised the motel-sized complex, the superintendent and his wife were the only ones with a residency in the community-use building. The superintendent being the grumpy-looking stallion that had picked me up from the station when I first arrived, and his wife, the kindly old mare who cooked the meals for everyone, with help of course.

In each building the Super had a mailbox reserved for him for each building's residents to place suggestions and comments.

For everyone else mail could be picked up in the mail room in the east corridor of the community building. There were three rectangular-shaped blocs of mailboxes in the wall grouped up by each of the three buildings in the common mail room. All in all there were sixty-four mailboxes, the Superintendent's multiple boxes included.

Besides the welcoming letter that had been there since I first arrived there was nothing in my mail box. Not even anything from friends or family back home. Oh well. Since I was able to do some catching up through email my first night in Equestria it would make sense that that would be the more likely way to keep track of everyone. And so with that now out of the way I picked up the magically-enhanced ice bag, now getting a bit damp, to rest in my room.

Of course entering the mail corridor just as I was a few steps away a certain blue colored, orange maned pony appeared. While staying silent Giselle sent a furious glance my way then turned to leave without going to check her mail. Walking with heavy hoof steps against the floor. s

'Tsk. I don't need this high school bullshit.' I thought to myself and called out to the pony before she pushed the door open. "Giselle, let's be mature adults about this and talk."

She stopped in place and looked over her shoulder, sending me a stink eye like before.

I clicked my tongue in irritation. "What's your problem, Giselle?"

Even with the distance between us I noticed the twitch of her eye in response to my question. "My problem?" She asked with a growling undertone. "My problem is that you've gotten yourself at the top of my shit list, buster. And trust me. You won't enjoy the fact that I'll be watching you."

"I'll be sure to start wearing pants at all times, then." I snap out despite myself. I bite my tongue and shake my head. "You know what? That was stupid of me. I don't wanna escalate things beyond what's already happened." I had no problem swallowing my pride since I just wanted to get this over and done with. "Is there any way I can get you to stop being angry with me, Giselle?"

"Yeah. There is." The pony said in a more even tone. With a measured gait Giselle walked closer to me until there was just a few feet between us. "I want you to apologize to Raven." She said after a moment of contemplation.

"Alright." I nodded and agreed. Now there was just the matter of finding out where Raven liv-...

"I want you to grovel over how sorry you are that you took advantage of her."

My eyebrows crease downwards instantly. "Excuse me, but I was dru-..." I'm stopped from putting a word in edgewise when she juts her hoof upwards at me.

"Yeah, excuse you. I don't give two shits if you were plastered that night, because it's not my fault that you don't know how to drink alcohol like a big boy. You're just lucky that you can't get her knocked up and that she wasn't physically injured, otherwise I'd have galloped all over town to find you and trampled your tiny dick into the ground as soon as Raven came to me yesterday morning even more shook up and pitiful-looking than when she caught her boyfriend cheating on her last week."

How was I supposed to know that she had a shitty boyfriend? And it's not like I ever meant for things to have happened the way they did. I make an exaggerated gulp, trying to keep my temper in check. "Why are you even telling me this?"

"To hammer in the fact that you're a shithead." She quickly responded. "So that's what you can do to make me stop being angry at you. Or you could let me break every bone in your body, but you'd still have to apologize to Raven."

"Alright." I breathe in and out. "Ok." In, "Fine." Out. Through sheer force of will I keep myself from saying the first thing that came to my head and am able to remain as diplomatic as I could in this situation. "...if I do that, if I go and apologize to Raven...you'll stop being a bitch?" I said this with smoldering hate aimed at this pony, hoping that she'd burst into flames under my stare.

With a sneer she extended her hoof toward me and did a little bow, "Ladies first." And with that she walked away and pushed the door open, leaving me to stew in my anger.

"The...fuck just happened?" I asked aloud to no one in particular.

Aren't ponies supposed to be all sugary sweet and love everything? That want to find a peaceful, thought-out solution rather than resort to violence or attack others?

So why'd Giselle have to bite my head off like that?

Besides, I don't even know where Raven lives. So how the fuck am I supposed to apologize, which I was going to do anyway, if that crazy pony won't even tell me where to find the one that's supposed to be upset at me?

I can't even think anymore without wanting to punch something. Or a certain someone. It's just pure luck that I wasn't going to go out tonight since my mood has just turned completely shitty. Instead of heading over to Giselle's apartment to find out where Raven is, (I don't even know which room is Giselle's! Fuck me!) I decided to sleep on it and headed to my room, hoping that the deadbolt would hold in case she ever tried bucking down my front door to make good on her promise.

Author's Note

I really ought to update my other stories...

I hope y'all enjoyed this chap. In return for such a positive reception to the first one from all of you I just wanted to put something out all quick-like...to raise the tension and make it that much harder a wait for the next part of the story.

Honestly, all my thanks and huggles to those who faved/thumbs up/started stalking me.

Belonging Needs

My Saturday, after cleaning up and getting dressed, officially began at breakfast with Gabriel and Saul. The communal dining area, even at five o'clock in the morning, was abuzz with activity from the kitchen. By the time I arrived at seven a good amount of the food had already been served to the residents that were much early risers than me. Still, there was quite the selection even after all of the "good" stuff had been taken.

And by good stuff, I mean "meat." Actual bacon, sausage, chicken, steak, chicken-fried steak, you name it it was there. One of the residents was apparently a chef that voluntarily provided some good ol' fashioned Earth cooking and made things before the regular kitchen hours based on requests and the amount of money that was put into the tip jar. Importing food came at a premium since butcheries were pretty nil when it came to ponies. Strangely enough eggs were plentiful, but they were usually served Equestrian style: hard boiled.

Considering that its only been a week since I arrived I've yet to really be that desperate for non-pony-friendly dishes just yet, so I haven't felt the need to get into the thick of the rush. Which meant the faint wisps of fried or grilled meat was all I could manage before the pony-offending odors were aired out.

Unlike Gabriel and Saul, who awoke later than I did because they been out late last night enjoying what Neighagara Falls had to offer after dark, I was feeling relatively refreshed. That's also something I can skip for now, all things considering. Seeing the two of them as haggard and lethargic as they were when they walked into the dining area, I definitely was alright with not going out last night. Kerri apparently had a wilder time than his friends so he wasn't in shape to wake up with the others.

After grabbing what the Super's wife had prepared and getting a seat at one of the several empty tables in the cafeteria-like setting, I learned that the others had planned to go on a trip to Fillydeliphia right after breakfast and do some sightseeing. Of course obviously, their plans had changed.

And so over apple toast and oatmeal with a side of orange juice and/or milk, the three of us got to talking about our time here in Equestria so far.

The three of them were busy hard at work trying to adapt human technology and Equestrian magic in Manehattan. Both Saul and Gabriel worked with computers while Kerri was a part of management as well as an engineer of some sort. They had all known each other in grad school, however Saul and Gabriel went to work for a technology company while Kerri went to a consulting firm after graduation. A few years later when the portal to Equestria was made the three of them ran into each other on the same project to develop the ponies' infrastructure.

"I'm going to go check on Sleeping Beauty." Gabriel said, after looking at his watch.

"Sure thing." "Yup." Saul and I acknowledged while finishing up our food

"So how have things been with you, Matt?" Saul asked me to break the silence, the dark lines of a tattoo peeking out on his right shoulder underneath his shirt. "Enjoying work at the bank?"

"It's been really strange and exciting." I answered truthfully in as vague a manner as possible. "How about y-..."

The door slammed open and we both turned to find Gabriel looking shell shocked and unsteadily he returned to his seat. Saul frowned and watched his friend in concern. "You look spooked. What happened?"

Before replying Gabriel drank the rest of his mug, downing it in a single gulp. "Well, it's finally happened." Gabriel bemoaned, rubbing his eyes. He slumped on his chair shaking his head. "Kerri's finally 'ridden the pony'. Or, would it be 'was ridden by'?"

"What? Are you for real?" Saul gasped. The two of them had been joking with me earlier this morning about how Kerri was quite keen on permanently staying in Equestria, trading in the work visa that pretty much all the humans here had for legal residency before it expired.

"Yeah. I saw it with my own two eyes when I went to wake him up just now."

"That's sick." Saul said, shaking his head slowly. "Don't you think, Matt?" The both of them looked at me, putting me on the spot.

"Uh, yeah." I nodded and gulped, not able to really feel as persuaded of my own words as I made it seem. "Sure is." I quickly stabbed the final piece of toast on my plate and popped it into my mouth, then took as much time as I could to chew and then drink my own cup of coffee.

Silence reigned in the dining area as both the Super and his wife had stepped out a bit ago, leaving the three of us alone for the moment. "I'm not sure if I can look at him the same way, anymore." Gabriel finally spoke out, dismay plain in his eyes.

"Maybe he was just drunk." Saul tried to suggest, still trying to wrap his mind around the thought.

"No. It's all starting to make sense." Gabriel said, before explaining. "I think I recognized the pony that was with him in bed. Maybe he's even been dating that pony for a while. You know, what's her face...uh..."

Saul look up to the corner of his eye as though the answer was written somewhere on the ceiling, then struck with realization he looked back at Gabriel. "Wait, the peach colored one that he's been hanging around with for a while? The one in 209A?"

"Yeah." Gabriel nodded. "Uh, Spicey Wicey or whatever."

"Haha, Spicey Wicey." Saul let out a derisive laugh.

I looked down at my plate in thought, pretty much nursing a half-empty mug at this point. If they were talking about a peach colored mare, the only one I could think of was Cream Tangerine, a pegasus. She was friendly enough. My first night she stopped by my door to "welcome me to the neighborhood" and wasn't even put off when I was too jet-lagged to appreciate it. Otherwise the only times I saw her was in the main communal building, the few times I've been here. Though from the sounds of it apparently she spent lots of time with Kerri.

It just so happened then that Kerri slowly shuffled in, wearing a bathrobe and walking about with fuzzy slippers on his feet. "Hey..." His voice croaked out to us.

"Good morning there, Seabiscuit." Gabriel said leadingly before drinking a bit of his coffee. He'd apparently recovered enough from whatever he saw moments ago to wear a smirk. "Have a good bucking last night?"

"Huh? What are youse on about?" Kerri groaned, his accent slurred while mumbling out. As he slowly made his way to our table, where a plate of his food, now cold, sat waiting for him he said, "I thought youse already left for Fillydelphia."

I watched as Gabriel and Saul exchanged a glance, waiting for Kerri to take a seat before answering. "We wouldn't leave you." Gabriel began patronizingly, "Especially now since you have an in with the locals."

Kerri busied himself toughing through the apple toast and chewing on the oatmeal. I wasn't sure if he was ignoring them or simply didn't notice their taunting.

"Since we're leaving a bit later, you wanna come along, Matt?" Saul asked me while Gabriel and Kerri had a quiet discussion between themselves on the other side of the table. Gabriel looked absolutely livid while Kerri seemed too tired to care.

Turning back to Saul I shook my head and gave the most polite smile I could. "Uh...sorry...I have work this afternoon."

"C'mon. You can just take off." Saul wore a smile and took of scoop of oatmeal while reaching for a glass of orange juice. "The ponies are all supposed to be happy and shit all the time. The ones me and Gabe are working with can just bother whoever else is working our shift, today. The ones at the bank can do the same thing for you, right?"

"I appreciate the offer, Saul. Thanks." I declined again and set my empty mug onto the table. "I'll see you guys around. Hope you have a good time in Fillydelphia."

"Alright. See ya, Matt." Saul said for the three of them and after we shook hands he moved his chair closer to the others while I walked to the glass doors to get ready for work.

As I was mid-push I heard Gabriel practically shout in a hushed tone, "Aren't you fuckin' married, Kerri? What's your wife gonna say about this when she finds out?"

"Hang on, it's my business what she finds out, so pull your head in, reckon that? It's not like I'll be keeping this a secret. Don't be a pair of stickybeaks."

I didn't dare look back and continued to walk at a brisk pace to my apartment. It wasn't like it was my problem. Plus, I hate getting myself into pointless drama.

--

Chapter 3

The following week passed by without much incident. I managed to go to work without fearing any threat of hoof stomped balls even when I was on the same shift as Giselle. Things remained essentially at a cold silence between me and the pony whenever we passed each other by.

I also had the benefit of not running into Becky, and from the looks of it we were on opposite time schedules until next week. In any case I still had mixed feelings about seeing her any time soon.

I just wanted to clear my head before moving ahead on this Raven whole thing.

On this Saturday morning today my furniture was going to be delivered to my apartment, which I scheduled to coincide with my day off. After missing another "Earth breakfast" I stopped into the communal building only to get a mix of hash browns scrambled eggs with a side of oj, running into Daisey, Daisy and Pete.

I hadn't heard from Saul, Gabriel or Kerri, but at the same time I wasn't in any hurry to find out if they were ok. I exchanged a greeting with Cream Tangerine on my way back to my apartment, which was an especially awkward experience since she was just about to knock on Kerri's door.

Two pairs of pegasi arrived around noon just as the salesperson at the Barnyard Bargains said they would, bringing with them the desk and dresser already assembled. After letting them in to set them furniture where I wanted, a voice brought my attention to the front door. "That's a wrap for today, everyone." He said and the pegasi team left as soon as they heard the announcement. I turned to see a familiar guy with a shaved head approach me. "Small world, huh?" Sam called out with a smile and we shook hands when he got closer.

"This your second job, or something?" I asked, a bit confused seeing him here holding a clipboard which he handed to me. Looking at the sheet attached to the clipboard it was a copy of the order form as well as a confirmation of delivery with the moving company's logo on it. He was supposed to be working for the bank, wasn't he?

"A bit backwards, actually." Sam said, taking the clipboard back after I signed the sheet and he ripped off my copy for me to keep. "Lucky and me are just weekly delivery guys for the bank. The moving business is how we make our living."

"Did someone just mention 'sexy'?" A mint-green stallion appeared in the doorway with my chair strapped to his back.

"Just put the chair where the other guys placed the desk, sexy." Sam chuckled and pointed out the spot with the clipboard, to which the stallion proceeded to unload the chair as directed.

I nodded, understanding a bit more. Considering the lack of the proper infrastructure in Equestria, of which people and Kerri, Saul and Gabriel were here to work on in the first place, the fact that the Neighagara First Bank had a functional computer database at all would mean nothing if the information wasn't updated with the main system back on Earth. Which was why there was a need for "delivery guys." They were trusted to deliver the physical storage devices that contained sensitive customer and bank information between Equestria and Earth. At the moment most places had their own in-house divisions but I wouldn't be surprised if independent companies sprang up in the future.

It followed the same concept as the armor car security people, although like politics, any more detail than that was beyond me.

In any case everything seemed to be settled. And of course, that's when Lucky decided to ask the question. "How'd things turn out with you and Raven?"

"Uh...I'd rather not talk about it..." I replied quickly.

"...alright, say no more." Sam said and slapped my shoulder. "How about instead of worry what happened in the past, we celebrate the present and future by going out for your move-in?"

I blinked, not expecting the proposal. "What?"

Sam and Lucky shared a knowing look before returning to my blank stare. "Guy's night out!" Sam said simply, slapping my shoulder again.

"You can't be serious." Wavering on how to explain my hesitance.

"I'll waive the fee for the delivery if you come."

I narrowed my eyes at Sam. "It's already free. That's why I opted for the desk and chair."

"We won't drink if you don't want to." Sam added and placed his hand over the left side of his chest while raising his left hand. "Scout's honor."

"I bet you were never a scout." I tried to counter, realizing that deep down I didn't want to coop myself up in this apartment after a week of practical isolation.

"Technically it was RCAC," Sam shrugged his shoulders and began walking back to the door. "but close enough."

With the promise of no alcohol, I relented. "...fine." I said. In the meantime my brain tried to figure out what RCAC was supposed to stand for. Maybe it must have been something similar to the ROTC, or Reserve Officer Training Corps, a military thing that a friend of mine back home was going to graduate from this spring.

To my agreement Sam said "Alright, let's go."

"Wait, right now?" I asked, seeing how Lucky made his way out of my apartment to stand on the open air balcony.

"Hell yeah." "Hell YEAH!" Sam and Lucky each replied, making me wonder what they had planned. Then again, as long as there wasn't going to be any drinking, it couldn't be so bad.

Walking a few blocks down through town Sam and Lucky took me on a short tour of Neighagara Falls. We walked by Crash and a few of the notable restaurants and bars and even helped a pair of French speaking tourists (Sam did the talking) with directions.

We had a late lunch at a smallish place called "Clydesdale's Cafe," meaning that we had no meat whatsoever--though there were boiled eggs aplenty--and I learned how Sam used to deal with refrigerators before getting into the moving business. While avoiding any topics that could lead to what happened that fateful night after the club, we shared a few stories of our lives back home on Earth.

Sam went to a vocational high school while I told the others about my history degree that got me nowhere and how I started with the bank part-time to pay for tuition and ended up working there fully.

After splitting our bill we walked a few more blocks, talking all the while. I learned that "Boosters" were magical Viagra, though even with more questions appearing in my head as a result, I wasn't all too comfortable following that rabbit all the way down the hole just yet. At about sundown we arrived at a relatively unmistakable building also oddly enough called "Clydesdale's." The building was a fixed-up and renovated officer's club from when Neighagara Falls was a frontier town quite a few decades back. There were still a few battle scars on the side of the building from some sort of soldier rebellion that took place but I didn't completely listen to what Lucky was explaining to me. Apparently some great-great uncle of his took part as one of the rebel leaders who was gelded by the mare who commanded the forces that swept in and defeated them.

Finding out that even the ponies had a history like that made me think "to hell" with the idea that Equestria was always sunshine and roses.

Just like at the dance club there was a large-looking stallion that was posted at the front, however he was neither imposing nor playing the role of a bouncer as he opened the door for us and greeted with a smile, "Good evening, gents." There was also neither a stifling air nor thunder of bass when we walked down the inner corridor toward a second set of doors. Rather, a classy sort of jazz played in the background that matched quite well with the wood paneled walls and finely designed glass chandeliers. Portraits of ponies in uniform (of which the ones in the fanciest-looking armor and uniforms were more likely than not mares) lined the walls with large but stern eyes that seemed to follow you.

Pushing through the second set of doors the smell of cigar smoke wafted into my nostrils, catching me by surprise and making me choke. Completely clashing with the austere mood of the preceding corridor, several sets of gambling tables from cards to roulette to craps caught my eye. A large saloon-like bar was stationed at the far wall and a set of metal kitchen doors swung back and forth constantly as waitstaff streamed in and out with plates and trays both empty and full depending on whether they were headed to the floor or from it. Like the ones forever preserved in the intimidating portraits, many more mares were seen in uniforms however the military theme was made more scintillating and impractical for battle or any attempt to seem "professionally disciplined." The mares wore uniform dress shirts with ties and accompanying hats while women were similarly clothed but with short shorts or sequin skirts.

As the live band played brass-filled tunes both mares and women alike provided smiles and exaggerated struts for the predominantly male clientele seated in booths situated all over. I was simply astounded by the reversal of attitude as though I had just stepped into a club back on Earth.

While I gawked in confusion Lucky did not hesitate to call out to the pair of blue and yellow ponies standing by the front podium with a threesome of very attractive women. "Hey, girls!"

"Hi Lucky!" All of the mares and women seemed to say in unison and shot him a smile the short-haired brunette and the blonde wearing her hair in a tight bun threw an alluring look my way, making me gulp.

"The usual spot, Lucky?" The blue earth pony mare asked before looking between me and Sam. The make up she wore was quite heavy, especially compared to her coworkers.

"Of course! I'll see you there too, right?" He asked while playfully whipping his tail at her rear.

The mare let out a squeaky titter as the yellow unicorn began leading us down the central red carpeted aisle.

Looking from side to side I saw men and stallions alike laughing and drinking and eating all sorts of beer and fried foods. In fact there was a lot of beer. And wine, and shots and alcohol in general.

"You guys are such bullshitters." I growled out, making a sour face.

"What are you talking about?" Sam said as he walked alongside me. "You don't really expect me to stop everyone else from having a good time just because we're not going to drink, do you?"

Hearing that I didn't want to feel like a total idiot and decided to not say the next thing that popped into my head.

We took our seats at a table and after our waitress, a cute little thing named "Cassandra" took our orders for soda, I managed a good look around. Both men and stallions were being attended to by girls of both species. I could only imagine how freaked out Saul and Gabriel would be to see this happening.

"I'm surprised that this sort of place could exist in Equestria. With how gender roles and proportion are so different from Earth, and all."

"This place opened only recently." Sam said. "Maybe a year or so. It was abandoned for a short while when the previous owners didn't attract enough tourists. There were demands by the folks if they couldn't get funding from Canterlot that this would be made into an outpost to protect from Diamond Dog raids but since we've never had any here, that was pretty much deemed unnecessary."

"You know a lot, Sam."

"Thanks, Sunbeam was a tour guide before she got a job at the bank."

Soon curiosity got to me and I asked him, "How did you and Sunbeam meet?"

"Sunbeam and Lucky are actually half-siblings. Their moms were both in the same herd."

Oh. That was a strange place to start. "Really?"

"So when i first came to Equestria, the company I was working for was focused on selling recently innovated fridges that ran on electro-magic. But it folded because of the high costs and newness of refrigerators at the time."

"So you just went and lost your job?" I couldn't hold back my skepticism at first, but then thinking about it, a lot of companies were bound to fail with how many variables that are involved in moving to a new dimension.

"Hey, it happens more than you think. Especially when humans on the whole were granted permission to pass through the portal things have been fluctuating and all over the place. Like i remember a few years ago a tech company was shut down and a whole lot of engineers and tech people lost their jobs. The princess apparently felt bad about it and put a lot of them into the companies that were still running, but that displaced a lot of the other people coming to Equestria looking for a job. It's not like they could send that info through a non-existing internet to stop those guys from coming before it was too late, right?" I simply nodded and he continued.

"So for the people that came to Equestria expecting to find a job, they were provided with money to go back home, or had to find another job. I was with the latter group. You see, one of the few ponies that had actually bought a fridge heard about what happened and took me in. Lucky's sire." And glanced to the stallion in question then returned to Sam.

"I made good on paying him back and at some point Sunbeam thought I was cute enough to ask me out. It was sort of out of the blue. Didn't see it coming." His tone took a moment somber, but still nostalgic manner. Before he passed away he decided to give me his moving company. Said it was a wedding gift, even though we weren't even engaged at the time."

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand because of all of the cigar smoke floating around and took a quick drink of water. After clearing my throat I couldn't help but ask, looking between the two sitting before me, "Was Lucky alright with that?"

"You kiddin' me here?" Lucky exclaimed as slapped Sam on the back with his hoof, careful not to hit him with his horseshoe, "I couldn't have a better boss and brother-in-law, the cunt!"

"I fuckin' love you too, Lucky." Sam said with a laugh.

Brother-in-law?

Sam read my look and flashed me the ring on his hand. The face I made must have been hilarious because Sam and Lucky busted out laughing. Of course it also must have had something to do with Sam reaching into his pocket and slamming five bits onto the table in front of Lucky.

Thinking on it, I decided to let them know what happened. I guess the cigar smoke must have affected me more than just making me shed a tear or two. "I uh, I woke up naked with Raven and freaked out, basically. Basically freaked out."

Sam remained quiet, listening intently. Lucky looked like he wanted to say something but didn't, choosing to take a long sip of his soda.

I felt a bit better, not being piled on when I said that. "And get this, Giselle is threatening me like some kind of big shot that I messed with instead of Raven." Somehow I managed to laugh at the thought,.

"Giselle? Hmph." Lucky snorted. "Never liked that girl."

"Could be the fact that she shut you down hard, Lucky." Sam said with a laugh before taking a sip of his soda.

The earth pony caught my look. "Giselle's dad is some big shot who works in Canterlot." Lucky explained. "It's actually how Raven managed to get a job there since her and Giselle are so close. Though the girl got to be part of Princess Celestia's staff on her own. We actually went to Earth to celebrate. Haha, I got so trashed."

I nearly choked on my drink mid-sip hearing that. "Wait, Raven works for the princess? The ruler of Equestria, right?"

"One of our rulers, yeah." Lucky corrected me.

"You mean the only one that matters." Sam said under his breath before taking another sip.

The stallion's head whipped to his left and he sent an intense glare to the bald human. "Sam, I love you, bro, but I'm this close to bucking you through the wall. You don't see me ragging on your president, right?."

"Joke's on you. I'm Canadian."

"Like that means something to me." Lucky deadpanned. He turned back to me. "You got straight to ruttin' her without having to talk and get to know each other and all that shit? Fuck if I could be so lucky."

"That's sayin' something." Sam quipped with a smile. Lucky tried to nudge Sam off of his chair with his head but Sam managed to balance himself.

Not wanting to answer his question directly, I decided to try my luck and change the topic, noting, "For a pony you swear like a sailor."

Sam chuckled as he righted himself on his chair. "No, sailors know more than 'fuck', 'shit' and 'bitch'"

"Shut up."

We all took a sip then looked over to a nearby table where a big spender apparently ordered a bunch of drinks.

"Sucks your first real night in Equestria had to turn out the way it did." Sam then said, breaking our group's silence. He clicked his tongue and sighed. "I knew something wasn't right."

"You knew what they were planning?" I asked, wondering exactly how many people Becky had on the know.

"No, I mean, I guess...it's more like I sensed something was up."

I gave a few seconds' worth of staring, trying to figure whether he was shooting straight with me or not. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Raven and Bell Weather had only broken up, like, what, less than a week before?" He asked Lucky. When the stallion broke away from his conversation with a pretty blonde girl taking his order to affirm with a nod, Sam continued explaining. "And she was just downright depressed since then. Apparently he had a herd but never asked Raven to join. They knew about Raven, but she didn't know about them."

"Wait, huh? That's why they broke up?" Lucky shouted out and slammed his hoof against the table. "That fucker. If I see him again I'm gonna castrate him." It's a good thing that the waitress already left since I felt scared by his sudden mood whiplash, and I was sitting a couple of feet away.

"Wow, Lucky," I gulped "Isn't that a bit extreme?"

"No." He growled out with a frown. "Because I'd chop off his wings and feed them to him too if anything really bad happened to her." Lucky downed the rest of his soda and began to chomp down on the few ice cubes that remained in the glass.

Quickly I turned to Sam who wore a sympathetic expression at seeing how comfortable I became. "Lucky's upset because what Raven's ex did went against common pony decency." Sam started to explain. "To not be invited into a herd is one thing, but to be used for sex by a stallion that already has a herd? That's cold, man."

With a shrug I stated, "I don't get it."

"It's like...turning a mare into a stallion's cooler." Lucky added, waving his hooves about as though he were playing charades.

"Ok...uh...what?" I looked again to Sam and away from Lucky who started gnawing on his straw. The unicorn waitress that stopped by with a plate of pretzels and nachos with all the fixin's seemed to find it funny as she refilled Lucky's glass from a pitcher of soda.

"A cooler is a thing mares use to tamp down on their heat, if they don't wanna have foals that season." Sam continued to play the role of my guide as he reached across the table to nab a nacho and dipped it in the accompanying cheese sauce. "Anyways," he said between chews, "Giselle had to stay over in Canterlot for a while to keep an eye on her. And then all of a sudden she's ok to come over the same day you show up?"

I sighed, trying my best not to roll my eyes. "You know, after hearing all of this, I under that's really sad, I'm sure. But what happened to her doesn't excuse what they did to me."

"Wasn't trying to excuse the girls' dumbass plan." Sam shrugged and reached out to pull the plate of food to the center of the table, bringing it closer to my reach as well. "We're only so lucky that you've been such a level headed guy about all of this. For sure the shit-ton of drama that's been happening between you and Giselle would've been skipped if Becky and Raven were just upfront. Which is why I'm happy that Sunbeam was straightforward with me. But I wouldn't put it past Becky that she probably said something that made her think you were up for it."

Well that was just ridiculous.

"Think about it this way," I began to say, "What if I was a girl and she was a guy. You wouldn't brush it off, would you?"

"That's a stupid analogy." Lucky rolled his eyes.

"And what's stupid about it?" I asked with my patience wearing thin. "On Earth, women can claim being raped even when they weren't. Which is all the more messed up for those women that actually were. Because they had drinks pushed on them and they couldn't say no when some asshole decided to have his way with her when they were drunk. Yet when a pony does that to me, which is like a woman raping a man, the man should just go along with it? And not feel used like a woman would?"

"But that's not what happened." Lucky countered, chomping on the last remaining chip between his molars. "You're upset that you fucked Raven instead of Becky."

Well, yeah. Even if that wasn't her intent, wasn't I led on to believe that she wanted something to happen? Or at least, couldn't it be a good enough argument that from my perspective that's what was going on?

"That kind of shit wouldn't fly back home."

"Well, welcome to Equestria, buddy." Lucky spoke out in an irritated tone, "Where the mares see you either as a farming tool or a dick on legs."

"Lucky, stop. You're drunk." Sam chided.

"No, I'm not drunk, Sam. And that's the problem."

Sam shifted on his chair and noticed my scowling. "Tell me. If you're so upset over this, why are still here in Equestria?"

I thought about it, reaching for one of the remaining chips after Lucky practically engulfed the plate to prevent Sam from having any more.

It wasn't like I couldn't just go back. I hadn't burned any bridges to get this job. All it would take was time to ask for a transfer back to Earth, or even find a new job entirely.

But why would I want to leave? Because some punk-nosed pony threatened me? Wouldn't I just be running away with my tail between my legs?

She didn't have the balls to attack me. Literally. I smiled at that for a moment until I saw Lucky's irritated face directed my way. My smile quickly disappeared and I told him, as sincerely as I felt about it, "The thing is, Lucky, I'm a human. It's different for me."

The stallion narrowed his eyes and spat back, "Well sorry for being a pony, asshole."

I blinked at his reply.

"...you're a human and I'm just...a pony."

That's right...this whole thing started because of that night.

It's not like I'm physically ill, right? There's no transferable diseases that I was stricken with. There have been a few movements as of late but in neither Equestria or Earth are there any laws against interdimensional couples outside of a few select countries. They passed for the usual reasons that people scream about on TV, radio and the internet, a few of which such as the "corruption of institutions" ran almost counter to the actual results. I mean, hell, I'm sitting next to someone who's married to a pony and he doesn't seem like some sort of deviant or freak.

The question remains, however: would I ever have been as upset if Raven wasn't a pony? Or was fat or ugly? But no, that's not what happened either. Fact is Raven is a pony and there's no point trying to come up with a parallel scenario. Because there really isn't any. Enough books and magazines and newspaper articles have been written on the subject of pony/human relationships.

Every side had their say based on what used to be, or what should be instead of what is.

Never read too much of the literature or paid attention to all of the talking points otherwise I would have gotten a humanities degree in philosophy or sociology instead of history. And if I ever really cared about what people did behind closed bedroom doors I would've become a minister like my dad wanted me to. I remember from that one political science class I took that there's no explicit of mention privacy at all in the Constitution.

While Sam continued to calm Lucky down I turned my attention to a brewing scene down the aisle where a pair of Diamond Dogs sat at a booth.

"Holy shit, what are they doing here?" I whispered to myself. Luckily no one heard me.

The raids done by those lumbering dog-things was the very reason why a portal opened up between Equestria and Earth. And yet there was a pair, right here, seated like any normal customer would. While getting looks the two dogs managed to get service, being handed a pair of beer mugs and then offered a large bag of what I assumed was full of bits, in return.

The dogs had an Abbot and Costello look going on, the short pudgy one being a dark muddy brown while the tall leaner one a dusty sort of grey.

The striking thought that remained in my head was that no one, pony or human, really paid them any mind.

"Hey! Who let the dogs in?!" A painfully drunk-sounding voice hollered as a man stumbled his way to where the Diamond Dogs were sitting. Two more humans walked in behind the first, with one of the humans wrapping his arm around the other's shoulders.

A very drunk Gabriel and Saul, plus an uncomfortable-looking Kerri who was trapped in Gabriel's grasp, had just silenced the whole club. "Holy shit." I said out loud this time, garnering Lucky and Sam's attention to what I was staring at.

The patrons, waitresses, bartender, live band...everyone remained quiet and looked over to the three humans standing next to the booth where a pair of Diamond Dogs continued to drink and munched on peanuts.

I looked around. Where are the bouncers? Why is everyone just staring?

"Guys, stop it." Kerri pleaded, sensing everyone's eyes on them.

Gabriel shook him up a bit, ignoring Kerri's weak attempt to break out of his hold. "Hey, we're here to celebrate your new relationship, Seabiscuit!"

"Yeah, you oughta have some fun before the misses finds out, right?"

"It's not what you guys think" Kerri sighed as Saul chugged down the rest of his beer.

"Hey. Dogs. You realize you're not s'posed to be here?" Saul drunkenly mumbled out. Confused, the dog pair looked at each other and then to Saul. Even while seated the size difference was obvious. Even the smaller of the two had at least a hundred pounds on the guy directly acknowledging them.

I looked around again, as everyone remained content to watch. This is ridiculous. I bit down on my lower lip. Does no one care because they're Diamond Dogs?

"So why did you come along, huh?" Gabriel asked Kerri and brought his free hand up to muss up the other man's hair.

"Because you're a pair of dills." Kerri continued to struggle in the drunk man's hold. "Now stop."

"Ha! Good job, bloke."

Just because they're Diamond Dogs, they can be picked on? What sort of fucked up selective logic is that?!

"Hey. Leave them alone. They're not bothering anyone." I stood up and said, meaning the dogs watching our exchange.

"Why should we? They're dogs." Saul snapped out before turning to me.

"Matt? Hey Matt!" Swinging around, Kerri nearly tripped while still in Gabriel's hold as the other drunk man took notice of me, too. "We're just trying to help get rid of these bothersome mutts before they like their friends do a raid here." Gabriel added, still holding Kerri in a tight near-headlock. "Gotta make things safe for Kerri and his second wife to be, right?"

"I'm tellin' ya, it's n-"

"Oh, hush." Saul scolded Kerri and burst out into a laugh. The dogs, despite their size, remained seated with their ears low to their heads.

"That's got to be the most inane...Listen Bulk and Skull, I'm getting real tired of everyone around me drudging up immature high school bullshit. It's not impressive. Go do your street gang stuff somewhere else. You're scaring the girls."

Gabriel threw Kerri out of his hold and stomped over to me.

My feet were frozen to the ground, awaiting some sort of command from my brain that would never arrive. "Fine tough guy, you gonna make us stop?" He asked me while swaying on unsteady feet. His breath reeked of whiskey and beer.

Barely able to contain my trembling, I shook my head. "No...that's...that's not...that's what the police are for."

"And how bad do you think you're gonna end up before they get here, huh? You're not some dog sympathizer, huh? You hear about the kinds of things the dogs are doing? Attacking the poor widdle ponies?"

I had never intended to fight and still don't. If I just explained that we could settle this peaceably, then...

An angry shout from behind me made me jump in surprise. "Yo, you two messin' with my bro?!"

"Lucky, please don't!" Moments after the second voice called out, a blur passed over me as a stallion suddenly flew down to drop kick Saul in the face.

"Oh shit!" He hollered, just as fell to the floor, missing Gabriel by inches.

Before either me or Gabriel could react, Sam ran in to pull Lucky off of the now-unconscious Saul. "Damn it Lucky, I don't wanna be banned from this place again! Where the hell were you aiming, anyway?!"

"They're as full as a boot at the moment, eh?" Kerri laughed out as he picked up Saul and carried him over his shoulder with only a bit of effort. "I'm sure they'll be tossed out of Equestria soon enough. They're daft morons but still my mates, right? Still, sorries are in order and all that."

"Yeah." I said, noticing a blank expression take hold of Gabriel.

"C'mon, I'm gonna get you to bed." Kerri tapped on Gabriel's shoulder and the three of them left as quickly as they had appeared.

In the meantime, five or so girls, ponies and human alike, rushed to the stallion's side, pushing Sam away somewhat. "Lucky, you're so brave!" The nearest pony, a unicorn, exclaimed.

"I know, baby. I know." Lucky replied.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" One of the human waitresses asked, kneeling down so she could better inspect his coat.

"I...don't think so, now that all of you are here."

"Let's get him a seat, hurry!"

I watched in stunned amazement as a stallion as large as Lucky was practically lifted over to an empty couch by the group of waitresses.

"You alright, Matt?" Sam patted me on the shoulder, back from being pushed away.

I responded, broken somewhat out of the surprise. "Yeah...yeah, I think so."

I'll admit it. Looking over at Lucky, surrounded by girls, made me somewhat jealous. He looked over at me and sent a wide grin. "My man, Matt over there! Standing up for everypony like a boss!" He cheered.

I couldn't help but feel even more confused. "Hold up, weren't we mad at each other just a moment ago?"

"After seeing you swing your balls around like that? Not on your life, dude!"

"The fuck?" Was all I could say, tilting my head at the weird sort of logic.

"Yeah, Lucky did the same thing when I fought him over the 'right' to date his sister."

"And you won?"

"No, Sunbeam did. She's the one who asked me out, remember?"

"Heh." I cracked a smile as I went over and took a seat near the group.

Two of the three ponies that were tending to Lucky quickly cantered over to me. One of them, a blue earth pony, even sat onto the couch next to me while the red one was fine with brushing her side against my leg and sitting at my feet. The blue one on the couch next to me laughed and made a fluttering blink with her green mascaraed eyelids. "You were really brave too, Mitch." She said in a very friendly tone.

"Uh, Matt." I corrected the mare, subtly removing both of their hooves off of my lap every time they rested upon it.

"Matt," she began again, "it was so kind of you to stand up like that without fighting. It was really quite admirable."

The other mare was much more upfront about things, leaning onto my lap again and asking, "Are you in any herds, Matt?"

I would have spat out my drink if I was mid sip and immediately raised my hands to give myself some space. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Listen, you're both very pleasant and kind, but...I just don't swing that way."

"Oh..." The two mares exchanged looks before looking up at me again. "Well we have plenty of stallions and guys here, too. You want to mee-""

"No," Sam said with a laugh, sidling up to the red pony sitting at my feet. "He means he doesn't go for ponies."

"Not on purpose, anyway." Lucky added with a snicker from the other end of the couch. I tried to send a stink eye but to no avail, as the stallion smirked and indulged even more in the attention he was getting.

The head waitress called out to the girls and they left us (a few of them giving slips of paper to me and Lucky with addresses on them). Seeing me reluctance Lucky asked "you using any of those?" and without waiting for my answer he swiped the pair of slips that I was given while Sam laughed and went to our previous table to grab the leftover food and drinks.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the Diamond Dogs approach me. Upon standing up, I realized that they were both about as tall as me, if not just an inch or so more. "Thank you for helping us, human." The first dog said, partly growling. I figured that was how he talked as the two dogs muttered between one another as to what they were going to say next.

"Yes. You kind." The other nodded his head after they reached a bit of agreement.

"It's no problem, really. I just found it messed up that you were being treated differently like that." I said, feeling that my reason was a common-sense one.

"Hey Matt," I heard Lucky call over to me, just as Sam came by and offered a few of the remaining chips to the dogs before sitting onto the couch again. "You play your cards right and you might be able to bag both of them."

"Hmmm? What is this 'bag' you speak of, pony?" The second taller dog asked, looking over to Lucky.

While Sam practically choked on his drink, I was fuming and irritated by that stallion's big mouth. "I swear, Lucky, I'm going to kick your ass so hard you'll be pissing rainbows and shitting bits for a week!"

"Oh yeah? How about you beat me in drinking?"

"If it'll get you to shut up, then fine!" I yelled back. It wasn't like I could take on a pony that could drop kick like a ninja, anyways. I was a lot more confident in handling my alcohol, especially if it was against someone half my size and it didn't involve another round of "Boosters."

"Name of the game's 'Graffiti Guzzle Arm Wrestle.' Winner takes a drink and loser gets drawn on with permanent marker."

I blink in surprise, hearing that. "That...sound pretty cool, actually."

"I know, right? Made it up myself! Now get over here, already. You too, Fido and MacGruff. Grab a chair and sit down. Hey, we need a few pitchers over here!" Lucky called out to one of the "friendly" waitresses who scrambled over to the bar after sending me a wink.

"Heh? How you know my brother's name, pony?"

"Lucky guess!"

"And some more nachos!" I heard Sam's voice holler out as well. Very quickly he sat down next to me just as the two Diamond Dogs dragged a pair of chairs to our table, joining us. "I guess I'm your designated cock blocker tonight, Matt." Sam shrugged and slapped my back, figuring he'd be opting for water from here on out.

Author's Note

I know, I phoned it in. I'm the worst!

Side Chapter: Sunbeam and Sam

Two hours past midnight, the rowdy crowds of ponies and humans had left the club. Even the workers, mares and women alike, all headed home.

Only a few of the lights remained on, casting a mix of shadows and a much calmer mood than the raucous and noisy atmosphere during regular hours.

Two ponies, a unicorn and a pegasus, walked in from the entrance to the large hall.

"Hey Sunbeam, he's right this way." The unicorn, still dressed in her vest and tie that was unbuttoned and unfastened respectively, led the pegasus to the couches on the far left side of the room.

Sunbeam found the person she was looking for on the couch, plus a second one sitting on his right. "Sam! There you are!" Sunbeam called out, her voice a blend of concern and irritation.

Opening his bleary eyes, Sam looked over to the pony who had propped her front hooves onto his lap and leaned close to his face, aiming an angry stare. "Oh...hi there, beautiful." He said in a cheerfully slurred voice.

She reeled back from his breath - nachos, beer, cheese and the unforgettable smell of his favorite drink, mint juleps, among a number of smells, in a sudden blast of pungency - for a moment but stayed firm nonetheless. "Sam, I can't believe you went drinking!" Sunbeam sighed with a soft but unmistakable growl. "You have work tomorrow!"

In response Sam gave a dumb smile and reached out to the pony in front of him. Short of caressing her cheek with his hand as a result of her pulling away, Sam placed his palm on her shoulder, to keep himself from falling forward off of the seat and face first to the ground.

"I was...just showing Matt a good time, angel face. I was drinking water but then..." He paused for a moment as he swayed to one side, then managed to balance himself once more. "I had to play as a pinch hitter for Matt when he, when Matt drunk too much. Heh. Such a lightweight." Sam's eyes lit up with a sudden excitement and he leaned forward a bit with a half smile/half look of disapproval on his face. "Hey, you hear what happened between him and Raven the other night?"

With a roll of her eyes Sunbeam massaged her temple with her hoof, to stave off the migraine from simply remembering how she found out. "Yeah, Giselle told me today at work. In fact she wouldn't stop telling me..."

"Aww, poor baby..." Sam cooed in a patronizing manner.

"Can it." Sunbeam sharply replied with a prod of her hoof against his gut. Then she did her best to stifle a laugh when Sam returned the favor and prodded her flight muscle, causing her to involuntarily twitch under his ministrations.. Shrugging his hand off of her for a moment, Sunbeam looked around the room. Only sparse evidence of the night's events remained, haven been mostly swept up by the workers after the club closed for the night. However no matter where she looked, only the two humans were left here to be picked up. "Where's Lucky?"

Sam snickered, as though reminded of some joke. "He should be here...with like, three girls on top of-...huh? Where'd he go?" The spot to his left was empty when he craned his neck to look.

Sunbeam made no effort to join Sam's languid search under the couch cushion for Lucky, of all ponies. "Well, he'll turn up sooner or later." She said without worry. "Come on, stand up, Sam. The bank apartments are on the other side of town. I guess Matt can stay with us, tonight."

"Sure thing." Sam breathed out while rocking himself forward. She helped him to his feet, feeling his large hands rest on her shoulders again. She braced herself to hold up his weight so he could stand up fully but before she knew it, his hands had slipped down her back and his fingers pressed firmly against her flanks.

"I love you so much, baby." Sam whispered out with his mouth close to her ear. "So cute and perky and hot!" His hands reached lower still to grasp a firm hold of her buttocks.

"Mmm..." Sunbeam moaned but managed to break out of the pleasant stupor his hands placed her into. "N-no, wait...damn it." The pegasus cursed at the hormones that harried her this time of year and rebuffed him with her wing. Her face feeling flush, Sunbeam made sure that the human's hands were on her shoulders. "Sam, please. You're trashed. And I'm tired and just wanna go home and get some sleep."

"I ain't trashed, Sunbeam..." He mumbled out in protest with a bit of a stumble. Luckily Sunbeam was there to help him regain his balance. "Haven't even barfed yet! I got into a fight, you know? It was fucking awesome!"

She stared up in horror at her mate, his words taking a second to register as she caught the alcohol-stench of his breath again along with his natural body odors. "Wait...you what? Ugh...never mind, just tell me tomorrow after you've sobered up. I swear, sometimes your drinking pisses me off because you always end up like this." She mumbled to herself, leaving Sam to slowly shuffle over to a chair to sit on where his long abandoned, now room-temperature glass of water was nearby on the low table to take a drink.

Walking over to Matt she began nudging the passed out human with her head against his arm. "Wake up, Matt. You need to sleep in a real bed."

He let out a groan and stirred somewhat, though his eyes remained closed. "I'mnutinnabed?" He groggily mumbled out, shifting over to his side in order to curl up on the couch seat.

"No. You're not." Was Sunbeam's blunt response. "Now come on." She grunted a bit while helping Matt get to his feet, pulling on his trousers and sleeves with her teeth to have him sit up properly and then allowed him to rest his arm around her shoulders to stand while being sure he didn't touch her wings. "Let's just go."

Thankfully the fifteen minute walk was only extended to twenty or so minutes when dealing with a pair of drunk and tired humans and with some effort they arrived at the front door and entered her and Sam's shared house. It took a bit more struggle and navigation through the darkened living room and hallway of the two-bedroom home. Sunbeam could send letters of thanks to the princesses themselves for the fact that Sam managed to recover from his drunkenness enough to help put Matt into the guest room bed after taking off his shoes and putting him under the covers.

With what Sunbeam figured was the most difficult obstacle toward getting sleep now out of the way she plopped onto her and Sam's mattress in the bedroom across the hall from the guest room, her head resting atop a fluffy pegasus down pillow. By this point she was more than willing to surrender herself to dreamland without bothering to clean up first.

At least, that's what she thought.

"Mmmmm I'm so hard right now like you wouldn't believe." Her eyes shot open when she felt Sam press up against her from behind, practically dry humping her with the stiff erection that was caught in the boxer shorts that was his nighttime wear. His only nighttime wear.

"Not now, Sam." Sunbeam growled out in a less veiled threat of anger in her tone.

"Come on." He whispered into her ear, emboldened rather than intimidated. "You know you want it. I can feel your heat coming on." His hips continued to grind against her, wedging his groin more and more between her hind legs which had begun to part of their own volition. She didn't dare look down to confirm how her arousal had already stained the front of his boxer shorts, making a dark wet splotch on the red cotton material.

Every deep breath of his brought his chest close against her back, rubbing his soft, bare and firm skin against her. A scratch that only made her itch the more she felt it.

She shuddered as his hands, the backs of which were covered sparsely with soft short hairs, caressed her forearms. His fingers lightly and arhythmically drumming along while his palms slid up and down, feeling every curve and groove from her pastern to her knee to her elbow, just touching against her barrel before smoothly moving down once more to her hooves. "It's...not for another month..." she lied.

Sam flashed a smile, showing how obvious it was to him when his fingers gingerly pulled off her front horseshoes that she had been too tired to remove before going to bed, leaving the ones on her hind hooves on. After setting the pair of shoes with a minimum of metallic clatter on the bedside table, his fingers returned to the soft undersides of her hooves, pressing and massaging them with each individual finger. His thumbs stroked from side to side atop the smooth nail to provide a contrasting sense of pressure to the light feather-like strokes of his other digits, brushing the sensitive under pad with only the rounded fingertips.

This was so different from the first time he touched her bare hoof...

--

Sam had only recently moved to Equestria, perhaps a few years ago. It hadn't been that long since Princess Celestia announced the successful opening of a portal to another dimension and the discovery of an alien "Human" race. Not long after that point ponies and humans began to interact in each others' worlds, introducing one another to technology and magic respectively. As he was wont to do, her father, Southern Charm, invited the short-haired (pretty much bald, really) human to stay at the house until he got himself on his feet. Sam was a refrigerator repairman and installer when he first arrived, but slow demand and poor management made the company he worked for bankrupt and very quickly he found himself without a job. It had been part of the interdimensional agreements to send ponies and humans back to their respective worlds free of charge should they request it at any of the consulates or embassies that dotted each others' worlds but the ever gregarious Charm welcomed the strange alien without hesitating.

Sam was put to work with the stallion's moving company in exchange for the hospitality (more his own initiative than her father's insistence, though it was obvious to everypony but Sam that that was the plan all along.) Even though Sam wasn't as strong as an earth pony like Charm or Lucky or the others, or able to fly or use magic, his know-how with all of the human-made gadgets brought a little flair to the moving business and garnered a whole lot of customers, especially with the Canterlot clientele. His managing abilities were quite good, too. He learned very quickly (or maybe he knew the whole time) how to deal with Charm's unique gift of gab and peculiar form of "altruism." Perhaps that was how a stallion like Southern Charm managed to make it as far as he did in a mare's world.

When Sunbeam first saw Sam the day he was brought to the house, the human was shifty and nervous. There was a lot about ponies and life in Equestria that he had a bit of difficulty adjusting to. Being careful with what he said was one, such as the first and only time Sam let slip that there was an Earth saying of one being so hungry that they could "eat a horse." The herd was understandably freaked out that night at the dinner table but Charm found it hilarious and managed to turn it into an innuendo. He especially loved using it around the nobility to see their reactions.

Not even four months had passed and Sunbeam, out of the blue realized that it was difficult to remember her life without the human living in the spare bedroom of her house. She was sitting on the living room couch, reading a book when Sam walked by after taking a shower wearing nothing but a towel. He had long since gotten over pony nudity and even though he continued to wear clothes he no longer shrieked when somepony walked in on him changing. That used to be a favorite joke of Lucky and her herd brothers but it soon turned into full contact rough housing after concerns about Sam's comparative "fragility" passed. No one would question Sam's ability to handle himself when he lifted a fridge with his own two hands (even when he had to wear a back brace for a few weeks) after Greenlight tried to scare him by rocking the heavy appliance with his magic but miscalculated and ended up pinned, himself.

Sunbeam broke away from her book again when Sam plopped onto the couch next to her with a bottle of beer in one hand, enjoying his day off, dressed in a pair of jogging pants and a a white t-shirt. Her father and the other movers were currently contracted to do some heavy lifting for a Canterlot pony that really, really didn't like humans. It was only the fact that Charm was who he was that he did not lose any of the clients that weren't particularly fond of the recent arrival of humans.

She was still looking for a job at that point, and spent most of her time around the house. It was a bit tough to already be a mare and still live at her parent's house, jobless. Though that paled in comparison to the fact that it got out that she was a monogamist. All of her foalhood friends that she grew up with were now in herds of their own, some already raising their little ponies. Her herd siblings thankfully enough were ok with who she was, even going so far as to match her up with a stallion every so often. But it never really got farther than a dinner or a movie. Not a one was really that interesting or proactive. Just your average stallions, she figured. Then again, how many stallions could compare to Southern Charm? A pony who was so assertive and mare-like in a lot of ways while still being his own unique self.

Sunbeam happened to glance away from the pages that she had since stopped reading a few minutes ago to spot Sam just casually looking over at her. They caught each others' eyes and to her surprise Sam asked, "How's the job search?"

Normally a stallion would look away embarrassed, or overshoot the situation and try to hard. Or even worse start off by asking about the weather, as though all pegasi were somehow involved on the weather team.

"It's going." She said, pretending to read her book. Sunbeam thought about it, and couldn't remember a time when it was just her and Sam alone. Her moms had all gone shopping and none of her herd siblings lived at the house anymore. Maybe her father invited Sam because of empty nest syndrome?

"What are you reading?"

"The Black Stallion."

"Huh. Interesting choice." He commented noncommittally before taking a sip.

"Yeah." She nodded and turned the book over in her hooves to look at the paperback cover. "Got it at the bookstore after doing a job interview. Right next to it was one called 'War Horse,' but it seemed sort of violent."

"Y'know..." Sunbeam heard Sam say and felt the couch depress as he suddenly scooted closer to her. He didn't even hide his staring at this point as he directed his attention to the book in her hooves. She had been laying on her side and craned her neck to her right to see him leaning his arm over the back of the couch to get a good look at her holding the novel. Feeling a bit self-conscious from the attention Sunbeam lowered her hooves somewhat and Sam's eyes seemed to follow them.

It dawned on her. Rather than the book...

"Do you want to?" That was when she offered him her hoof to touch, since he seemed so curious about it. "See for yourself, I mean?" Sunbeam had to admit that she was interested in his hands as well.

"Yeah." The human said with a bit of eagerness in his voice. He set the bottle down on the side table nearby after finishing it off he returned to the spot he was sitting in. Sunbeam sat up onto her haunches and placed to book down next to her, outstretching her hoof over to his awaiting hands with which he immediately used to grasp her with. "Does this hurt?" He asked, poking his index finger against the soft sole, causing a shiver to rush up her spine.

Barely holding back her yelp Sunbeam managed out a quiet "No" and shook of her head, hoping that he would give her a moment to recollect her thoughts. They were just sitting next to each other on her living room couch but her heart was racing as though she'd ran from Manehatten to Vanhoover without stopping. And that was just a single touch.

The human held her hoof upturned in one hand while drawing circles with his finger, exploring from the heel to her toe and back up, trying to get a feel of every part as long as it didn't cause her any pain. On the contrary, what he had been doing for the past few minutes felt so good it hurt. He would stop every so often to ask if she was ok or if she wanted him to stop. If she had any of the courage left that she spent to agree to do this in the first place Sunbeam would have told him not to stop. Every time he did so out of concern for her well being only served to tease her and make her all the more tense, all the more unable to even think much less respond to his innocent worry. Sunbeam had never let anyone touch her hoof like this before. Then again pony hooves weren't usually as sensitive as hers.

"Ahhhhh~!" Sunbeam shivered and rolled her head back as her wings suddenly flared open to their full span in a stiff manner.

"I-I'm sorry!" Sam shouted in a terrified panic, suddenly letting go of her hoof.

"No, that...that felt really good..." She said with a pant, admitting this fact with her eyes slightly unfocused as she reveled in the feeling of warmth that his touches created inside her that spread out and wrapped around her like some invisible blanket.

"Oh." Sam said, nodding his head. Then it clicked. "OH." He said again, only now with more emphasis that drew a curious look from Sunbeam.

Soon enough after seeing his wide-eyed stare she realized what she said and the pegasus' face turned a bright crimson that complimented her orange coat.

--

Sunbeam smiled at the reminiscing but then a sudden jolt of excitement made her leg spasm for just a moment and she gasped, brought back to her present dream state . Her stomach twitched and she squirmed but the way Sam held her kept her in place; restrained. His body was pressed against her back, preventing her from flaring her wings out unless she truly needed to escape. His arms were alongside her front legs, allowing him to reach her soft pads and remain in control of her front legs. She felt his hot breath cascade against her jawline, the fluttering of kisses he teased her with that she couldn't return as his cheek nuzzled the latch of her throat, making it hard to turn to look at him.

Her tail whipped about in vain, her ears flickered from side to side and flapped up and down as his fingers once more changed their method of pleasurable torture. Sunbeam let out a quiet, content sigh, feeling him trace circles down the central grooves and up the collateral grooves simultaneously. Along her heel then to the sole, then back up the central groove.

The tiniest moan escaped her mouth, along with a trickle of wetness that further stained his boxers. The quick twitching of his member, as it continued to prod and tease her nethers without pause only served to heighten the electric shocks sent from her hooves to her stomach, building the tense heat within her enough to make her perspire.

His hands continued their onslaught. His smell bombarded her senses. As much as her body screamed for release Sunbeam could only let out the tiniest of squeaks, which turned Sam on more than any loud throaty wail could.

Sunbeam couldn't fathom how he could always tell when she was getting into heat. It was like he was a stallion in disguise; one that was proactive and commanding and always eager to please. She opened her mouth to say something but only a sigh escaped her lips. Even without words, as though reading her mind, Sam nibbled slightly onto her ear, then began planting kisses down her neck. His fingers traced lightly up the cannons, pausing to squeeze on her forearms. Then quickly to her shoulders and down her back, along her spine then they spared no hesitation to press onto her flight muscles.

She jerked from the feeling, amazed that she was able to cum again with just a thought. But instead of brought down from bliss the feeling of passionate fire continued in constant waves and bursts that made her body shudder from his tracing circles with his fingers and thumbs on those tight muscles on her back.

As though as she had flown as high up into the blue sky as possible and allowed herself to free fall.

Sunbeam took a sharp breath in, clenching her eyes and jaw and wings tightly against her back. She whimpered, nary given a chance to breathe as she was drawn closer and closer to exploding. On the verge of tears now, Sunbeam wanted to scream out unfettered by any embarrassment of knowing that half of Equestria would probably hear her.

Besides his drinking, Sam's only other drawback was that he never wanted a quickie. He wanted to be slow and passionate. Intimate to the point of drowning her in his love and need to have her cum over and over until she couldn't anymore.

There was no other way to describe the pressure wracking her body now than to describe it as "drowning." To desperately struggle up to the surface where surely she could gasp and breathe freely once more.

'Please.... Sunbeam whined within her thoughts. 'Please, please please...' She shook again from another orgasm, but it wasn't enough. 'Please, please, please, please! She pined and begged wordlessly and craned her neck, looking desperately at Sam who had been waiting to see the desperation in her eyes.

His hands left her back. His right wrapped around her, holding her close and pressed his palm against her barrel. His left moved down to finally free his penis, dripping precum at its tip and soaked in her never ending stream of juices. With a grunt he pushed into her, hilting her effortlessly and making Sunbeam go cross-eyed for a moment.

Sam withdrew halfway then pumped into her again, driving his face on this thrust toward hers to catch her lolling tongue in his mouth. Normally they would kiss and he would tease her some more, but not tonight.

With a feral growl he begun a regular pace, using his right hand to hold her close while pulling on her tail or her hind leg with his left hand.

"Slower..." She whispered, her eyes closed as she nuzzled him and inhaled as much of his scent as she could. "Ah...I wanna feel all of you inside me!" Sam answered her wishes and adjusted his position. Without letting his dickhead leave the grip of her moist pulsing labia he lifted her up so he was placed between her legs. He watched her chest heaving, her mane mussed and drenched with sweat, and her face remaining flush with excitement and looking as beautiful as the first time they made love.

With little effort buried himself up to the hilt then began to gyrate and shift his hips, grind his crotch against her clit while scraping his dick against her inner walls. He felt her tremble and squirm. He too began to shake with his approaching orgasm.

Without warning he came. Two, then three, then a fourth, weaker jet of unimaginably wondrous heat filled her.

He silently laid down onto the mattress, bringing the blanket over them both. They remained embracing, his arms wrapped tightly around her. He pressed his lips against hers, softly, lovingly, in a quick kiss. "I seriously...love you, Sunbeam..." Sam mumbled, now half asleep.

"Mmmm..." She purred and nuzzled closer against his chest, an impossibly wide smile adorning her face. Barely a moment passed when Sunbeam heard light snores escape from her mate's throat, and closed her eyes to the soothing low growl. "Love you too, Sam."

Esteem part 1

After hours of staring at the clock on the far wall, listening to its regularly intervaled ticks, while only occasionally being interrupted by a customer, my shift was finally over. It wasn't like I had anywhere I needed to be, it's just that it was one of those days when I just didn't want to be at work. Without needing to glance toward the windows I knew that the sun had already set outside, and now the few of us working this late into the night prepared to close up.

Mrs. Plumcake, who was scheduled to be the Manager On Duty tonight, had to leave for who knew why. She must have had some important reason since she was a pretty responsible pony.

It was just me and Giselle for tonight's shift, which should have seemed weird but it didn't really feel out of place. Even though it normally took four of us to clean up for the night I shrugged off the slight deviation from protocol.

So as soon as the minute hand landed upon the forty-five mark, its declarative tock sound alongside the second hand's ticking loud enough to hear because of the sheer silence of the bank, I stepped out of my booth and walked to the front. The soles of my brown loafers clicked and clacked against the hard linoleum floor, which had remained quite buffed since the janitor-pony, Red Clover, tended to it this morning. No tracks of mud since no rain had been scheduled, and no specks of dust since I went out of my way to use the broom to busy myself all day long.

I made sure to turn the reinforced lock of the front doors to set the bolt, then I made my way to each of the teller's booths, taking the cash boxes that remained to the back room and secured them in the proper areas after counting and noting what we had left. At the very least the others had put their things in the proper places before sneaking away, so they didn't have to help with securing the bank for closing.

As I did all this I heard Giselle move about, the soft clops of her metal shoes against the linoleum floor echoing into my ears, to check if all of the computers and lights were off before meeting me in the main lobby, where only a straight line of dim ceiling lights remained permanently on throughout the night.

Without exchanging words we began to head to the door when a nagging feeling tapped me with the notion that there was something I almost forgot to do. I paused, smelling something foul, almost musky, reach my nostrils. Shaking the strange odor away I realized I was garnering a curious look from the mare who was a few steps ahead of me when I realized what it was my brain was trying to tell me. "Hold on, I think I forgot my jacket." I announced.

She rolled her eyes and sighed, but I ignored that and scurried over to the break room.

I navigated my way to the quaintly-sized room that could fit two circular four-person tables and the appropriate number of chairs comfortably enough (then four more chairs than that) and flicked the single light switch upwards so I didn't trip on a chair leg or bump into a table. Once the bulbs flickered to life, I walked with cautious haste to the wall opposite the door where a single long bar used to hang jackets and such was, when I heard the door open behind me. Giselle had followed me, looking as annoyed as ever.

"You find it, already?" She asked in a bored manner, trying to impart her impatience with me to hurry me up.

I couldn't help but frown, not sure what she why she had to follow me from the front. "Find what?" I asked and raised a curious brow.

"Your jacket," Giselle said in a huff. I blinked, wondering what she was talking about. While looking over myself I made sure to gesture plainly that I was already wearing my jacket.

Again, that musky, sour smell attacked my senses, but I was much more concerned by Giselle's strange statement. Why would I even need to grab my jacket when I came back here to see if I signed out for the night?

"Let's just go home already." I said after seeing that I had indeed written down my sign-out time on the notice board, then stepped past the mare to pull the door open. But Giselle moved in front of me, blocking the way.

"I'm not letting you change the subject." She said in a slightly lower voice, her eyes narrowed in an obvious attempt to intimidate me. "Did you already apologize to Raven?"

It was my turn to sigh and I replied, crossing my arms over my chest, "I would have if you got around to giving me her address."

"I'm not just gonna give it to you." She countered. "You have to ask for it."

"Whoa, what? Alright, I've had it up to here with your bullshit, Giselle." I cocked my head, bewildered by that strange sort of logic. "Why are you always like this to me?"

Her eyes narrowed and they looked around before settling onto me, again. "Can't somepony be concerned about their friend?"

I don't even know why I feel the need to walk on eggshells for this mare. "Raven came onto me, you know? Well, I came in her, but..." I stuttered and frowned, confused. "...wait, why did I even say that?"

Expecting that my strange outburst was guaranteed to the world's most embarrassing epitaph, I realized that I was still amongst the world of the living (and non-wheelchair bound) and looked over to the pony.

Did she...blush?

Rubbing my eyes, I began to figure that she was just fuming with rage like before, and my fatigue was finally catching up to me. "Can I...just have her address so I can apologize and get this whole thing straightened out? Please?"

"Fine." Giselle said with a strange pout appearing on her face. She walked over to the desk and ripped off a corner of the sign-in sheet, and with deft maneuvering managed to write something out using the pencil and her mouth. The soft sound of her scrawling stopped and she stepped back, letting me take the paper between my finger and thumb. "It's...it's not like I'm doing this because you asked me to..." The pony added, which I largely ignored as I looked at the slip of paper.

I read what she wrote, then tried to scan the scribbles of pony language, hoping that I wasn't completely fudging up what I had learned. "Doesn't Raven live in Canterlot?"

"Yeah..." She replied in a soft, almost hushed voice. "...that's my address."

"Yours? Why would I nee-" That's when I felt her lips press against mine, and staggered backwards from a heavy weight pushing against me before my brain finally registered what my eyes already saw and body immediately reacted to.

After a few steps back I was pinned against the wall, Giselle pressing her chest onto mine as she stood on her hind legs. Her tongue forced its way into my mouth, wider and stronger than a human's, jutting her muscle without pretense and lavishing licks and strokes along my teeth and own, smaller tongue. Without meaning to, I let out a sharp breath which she seemed to inhale while parting my lips more and more with the use of her expert kissing.

Pulling slightly out, her tongue dipped in a second time, coaxing mine with flickering movements in an effort to entangle the both of us into a deeper kiss. At the very least the complete mental paralysis helped to keep me from reciprocating.

But that didn't stop the mare. Not by a long shot.

Her eyes were closed, in contrast to my own trying to bulge out of their sockets, as though doing their damnedest to escape this absurd situation. Her head turned this way and that, in efforts to find the best angle for our lips to meet, considering the different structure of my mouth and her muzzle. I, on the other hand, did my best impression of a dead fish.

However, the slight trembling that was pure shock on my part seemed to only encourage Giselle to become even more daring. Being every sort of a predator that I as a human supposedly am. Every so often she nibbled on my top lip. Or caressed the points of my canines with her wide tongue. Or cupped my tongue over her wider one and she folded it in, sucking slightly. Repeating the folding and sucking motions and quite nearly made me cum right then and there.

Finally she leaned away, and just as she broke the kiss the mare commanded in a deep, throaty voice, "Lie down on the floor."

Like a coward I complied. My knees were quivering from how tight I locked them to hold myself back from ruining my underwear. At this point I wasn't even sure if I would have been safe by losing consciousness. Nonetheless she stepped back a bit, and watched with stern eyes as I did as she told.

I did my best to adjust myself mid-crouch but still my trousers formed a tent. If she noticed, she didn't make any signal of it while stepping forward to practically straddle me with her forehooves atop my arms, pinning me down unapologetically. I grit my teeth, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of my pain as her cold horseshoes bit onto my arms, now growing numb from her weight pressing down on them.

My heart was practically beating in my throat as I looked up at the mare towering over me. Her eyes looking down at me. I didn't know what sort of excitement I was feeling from that nonchalant look of hers; that usual uncaring stare of hers that suddenly took on a new meaning in this situation. I gulped, gathering what feeble courage I could muster to save the dignity I had left, saying with an unsure smirk, "You expect me to beg?"

"No." Giselle crooned playfully and brought her face closer to mine, contorted into a sneer. "I expect you to cry." Her tongue darted out and brushed against my lips, which were sore and probably flushed a deep red from her kisses and nibbles. Her eyes were cold and calculating, as though she was dealing with a plaything rather than a person. Her hot breath cascaded over my face and I trembled. Quivered. Not from fear. But lust.

Her face remained tantalizingly close to mine, but maddeningly far. Our mutual labored breathing continued, but hers remained calmer despite how heavy it had become. I gulped. And then finally, I caved.

I stretched my neck upwards to meet her lips and kissed her. She bore down on me as the victor and attacked as she had been doing, only this time I fought back. I lightly bit her tongue, causing her to mew and retreat and I took chase into her mouth. Despite giving way to my probing tongue, Giselle remained in reach and turned slightly to allow me better access and a fighting chance; she was taunting me with a handicap as though my acceptance so far meant surrender. On the contrary. With renewed vigor I swirled and licked and slurped her saliva loudly much to her surprise, earning moans and shivers of ecstasy from the otherwise dominant mare.

In fact, her thoughts must have become so distracted from my unforeseen assertiveness that I managed to push her off of me and we rolled over so that she was the one pinned under me. With a feral growl and tried my best to keep my numbed arms holding her forelegs down. Her eyes were wide and blue cheeks tinged with red. That vulnerability, even only for a moment, made me see not a crazy bitch who had threatened and harassed me, bullied me for some bullshit reason as though I've been in the wrong for succumbing to Raven's wiles, but a pony that I would even dare to say was cute.

Still, the horseshoe marks on my arms were painful reminders that she didn't deserve to be let off the hook. I leaned low just as she did moments ago, staying just above her. "I hate you!" I hissed out.

"I hate you too." She replied with cloudy eyes. Even as my nails bit slightly into the supple flesh of her forelegs, Giselle remained calm. Somehow more aroused, even. This time we both smooshed our lips together, hungrily and loudly moaning and lapping each others' drool.

"I...hate you...more..." I said in-between kisses, tasting and swallowing her saliva as much as she was drinking mine.

"Mmmmm, I'm going to...pulverize you!" She snapped back and suddenly nipped at my neck. I twitched predictably from the pleasurable pain and as I did so, Giselle turned us over so that she was on top once again. She then squirmed off of my chest and down to between my legs, deftly unfastening my pants and pulling down my zipper with her teeth. I tried to sit up and watch her, but she pushed me onto my back with her strong forelegs and with an accompanying rip of fabric, tore down my briefs as well as my pants to my ankles.

When I let out a sharp gasp now that I was both literally and emotionally exposed at this point, the smug look of superiority on her face was plain to see even from my compromised position. Despite my ongoing attempts to will it, my penis stood firm from sheer anticipation.

My breath halted midway as she unceremoniously engulfed my full length right from the get-go, slamming the sensitive tip against the back of her throat without so much as a gagging fit. The sloppy wet sounds echoed up into my ears and made me even harder, twitching within her and causing even more sounds to be heard. Her tongue lapped at the underside of my shaft and wriggled about as she continuously swallowed, massaging my dickhead with her throat, making my leg quiver and my spine tingle and burn from the orgasmic pleasure.

Sliding my dick out of the stiflingly hot and moist confines of her mouth, Giselle smacked her lips and licked them of what I presumed was my lingering taste for good measure. She caught my staring and looked me in the eye unflinchingly, giving me a better look of her astoundingly emerald green eyes. Hypnotic and clear, we continued staring at each other even when she leaned close to lap up the dabbles of precum leaking from the tip of my overstimulated dick like a cat to her saucer of milk.

With a throaty groan she then clamored back on top of me, snaking her way onto my waist and flicking her tail back and forth against my inner thighs. Just like a snake, she slithered and writhed her haunches against my groin, gyrating firmly yet sensually, giving me a feel of the intense heat and slick wetness emanating from between her hind legs, matting the bristles of short hair and painting trails of her juices wherever she rubbed herself. Her eyes never once looked away from mine, and her fluttering blinks became an alluring sight as arousal made her cheeks to flush and lips tremble.

My dick grew more erect from the attention still, robbing me the ability to even question why this was happening, and she chuckled at that. Laughed derisively at me at my stupid half-lidded stare and I could only feel shame from remaining aroused. Becoming more so.

Hugging my shaft between her engorged vulva Giselle began to stroke me off, jerking her hips in a rocking motion while using my erection as a tool to grind against her hardened clit. The sensitive underside of my cock dragged against that nub and caused me to twitch and spasm from the frustrating pleasure. Her erratic movements changed on a dime, between fast and slow, but in both speeds the sounds of wet schlicks reached my ears and the sight of her secretions and my leaking pre-cum turning into a white frothy mix as she used my dick to stir against her lower lips stole my breath away.

In fact, the thick, pungent musk that had appeared several times tonight returned in full force. But now I knew why it seemed so familiar. It was the prominent salty odor of sex, constricting itself all around me at this point, seeping into my clothes and tickling some prehistoric caveman portion of my brain, overriding the fact that while what was presently lavishing me with such an erotic display may have been female, it certainly wasn't human. Further obliterating any sense of rationality I thought I had, Giselle leaned close and opened her mouth wide, letting long streams of drool fall between my lips, and I mindlessly relished and earnestly drank down her disgusting spit strings, snapping at them. It was beyond me why I went so far as to roll it around my tongue as though it were a drizzling of syrup before swallowing it deep into my gullet.

She laughed again and I twitched at the sweet, sharp sound of her voice. "Are you going to cum?" Giselle taunted in a husky manner. I panted and nodded, and able to speak lest I simply groan out. She gave a sinister smirk and suddenly stopped. Desperately, I humped to continue the sensation but the pony jabbed at my chest with her hoof, making me stop and cry out in pain and surprise. With a raw, predatory stare, she panted out, "Don't even try to do it on your own. I haven't even gotten off once! In fact, we're going to keep going, and going, and going...until you learn your place!" She slid lower, away from my dickhead, and started to grind herself against my shaft.

It was torture to be in the perpetual near release I was now relegated to. I throbbed in need to finish, my head hurting at this point...

Chapter 4.

Head hurts...ow...head...hurti-

My eyes immediately snapped open, and fighting through the stinging pain of light punching my retinas, I desperately looked around on the strange bed I awoke in. I sighed, relieved, that I was alone on the twin-sized mattress; no fluids beyond my own drool staining the pillow case; a heavy worn-green comforter and matching blanket messily draped over my sprawled, still-dressed form.

My entire body's sore as if I had been sleeping for the past few months. Ugh. I think I had the worst nightmare ever just now. Though I can't exactly remember it. I'm not even sure if that's a good or a bad thing...I'm going to err on the thought that I'm all the better for it, just to be safe.

Just as I grew comfortable with that thought, a sour musk drifted into my nostrils, making me scrunch my nose and cringe at the familiar smell of pure, unfiltered sex.

I both inhaled it deeply and gagged from the way it caught in my throat, as though the salty invisible fumes actually had some form that threatened to suffocate me. I retched on reflex, while not spewing anything just yet. A mix of sudden nausea from my lingering hangover and the unexpected slap to my sense of smell that was currently under assault formed the world's worst morning cocktail. Risking further aggravating my sickness I leaped over to the nearby window and threw it open with previously unknown strength and gasped for the clean, Equestrian air. It was then I chose to vomit a bit of my stomach's contents onto the thankfully bare soil and spent the next minute or so spitting out the foul taste of my saliva until I pretended that it didn't taste rancid anymore.

I then spent the next five or so minutes groaning out that I would never drink again and withdrew into the house, though leaving the window open as I staggered my way to the closed bedroom door.

My head continuing to throb, I reached out to open the door. I never noticed since I've been living and working where mostly humans tended to be, but Equestrian doorknobs are set a fair bit lower than the average person's reach. Almost a child's height, really.

Nevermind the fact that I found it confusing that hoofed creatures would even use doorknobs in the first place. Or maybe I'm just assuming, again. Griffons and dragons had hands, of course. But I can't recall seeing any griffons or dragons strolling about in Neighagara the last couple of weeks I've been here. Not even a minotaur, which apparently exist.

Turning the knob and stepping out, the hallway was quaint. Well worn wooden boards that were interspersed with newer ones lined the floor, as it was easy to tell from their different colorations. The walls were an eggshell white with a crowning at the bottom that matched in color.

Across from the room I slept in was another door that was just left ajar, and it was plain even for a swaying, fatigued, dehydrated guy like me that that was where the noise and smell was coming from. It was a subtle, constant, squeaking noise, like the sound of two kids jumping on their bed, and that image pulled me even more to the curious door.

Schrodinger's infamous cat was surely killed by the poisonous gas when I peeked through the crack and saw just what was going on in this other room.

The first thing I took notice of was a pegasus pony looking away from me, her wings open to their full span. Her slender back arched in the slightest ways, trembling and twisting to keep herself seated as though her body would jump away if she didn't keep her muscles tensed. Those feathered appendages, slender and exotic, seemed unable to even flap in their stiff state.

Next I noticed that a pair of human hands were holding her sides firmly, lifting her body up and then pulling it downward, giving me the impression that the pony was simply being bounced off of a spring.

Loud fleshy slaps intermingled with squelches and pants and moans.

Well, where there's smoke, right?

Despite the sheer discomfort it caused me both mentally and physically, like some creep I watched through the gap in the door as the pegasus pony rocked back and forth, moaning and breathing heavily, nickering, even.

I shuddered at some recent memory tucked into the folds of my brain. Was this what it was like with Raven? I sure as hell never fucked any other pony.

My heart was beating hard and fast and my...well, uh, y'know...was also...hard.

They sped up, bed creaking and the both of them moaning. Not sure if it was my imagination but I could've sworn that the smell emanating doubled in thickness and I had to look away to catch a breath before surreptitiously looking back in.

Finally, they stopped. Only heavy breath and utterances of contentment were exchanged between them.

I waited a bit to...soften, before rapping my knuckles against the door.

Peeking into the room, I see that a window's been open, probably to air out the stink. I'd reckon that strategy isn't really working, but it's too embarrassing for me to mention. "Hey...uh, you guys in there?"

"Oh...hey Matt, you're up?" I heard Sam call out.

Taking that as my cue to enter, I pushed my way and opened the door and immediately reeled back. "Yeah. So are you." I said, trying my best to avert my eyes.

At some point the pony had left the bed and it was just Sam on the mattress. He quickly glanced down and then casually adjusted himself so that the tent disappeared from sight; his leg thankfully propped up so the cascade of blanket covering his body below the waist did not "show" all of his form.

"Hmmm? Oh! Morning, Matt." Sam's pegasus, uh...wife greeted me with a smile, peeking her head out from what I guessed was the connected bathroom.

"Hey." I returned with a polite smile and nod of my head, hoping that that much of an acknowledgement would keep me from having to embarrass myself. Her name was...Sunburst? No, that doesn't sound right.

"You want to hang around for breakfast?" She asked plainly.

Who am I to turn down politeness? "Um...sure," I replied.

"Great. I'll get started after cleaning up. Excuse me, boys." The pegasus said as she disappeared once more into the ensuite, closing the door behind her this time.

Wrapping his waist with the bed sheets, Sam propped his head on his hand. He sent me a smug look and casually mentioned, "Yeah. I'm tapping that."

I really don't know what I could say to that.

A traveling bag slung over his shoulder, the bald-headed human was searching through his pockets to find his ID and chariot ticket for the Equestria-Earth portal. His hands patted around until a certain pegasus strolled over with those very items after picking them up from a nearby side table. Sam let out a scoff in response to the knowing look on her face and gently took the ticket and plastic-covered ID card from his wife's mouth. "'ll see you when I get back, babe." He said, trying his best not to laugh.

"Alright, take care." She replied with a heartfelt smile. After exchanging a quick Eskimo kiss with the pony, Sam waved me off and headed out the door.

"Come on Matt, I'm starving!" As the mare led the way I just barely managed not to quip that "morning exercise" works up an appetite. I pretty much chewed on my tongue to remain quiet, finding myself seated at the quaintly-sized table as my hostess got right to work with making breakfast.

"You want pancakes or waffles?" She asked, looking over her shoulder to me.

"Pancakes are fine, thanks."

"Stack of dough, comin' up!" She cheerily announced, as though it was something she always wanted to say.

"What are waffles, then?" I asked, curious.

"Hash tags." She said in all seriousness, making her way around the kitchen to grab a number of things.

She lit the gas stove and set down a pan, then made her way to the first fridge I've seen since arriving in Equestria to retrieve a clear plastic jug with what I can only describe as "yellowish goop" inside it. Just barely noting the various vegetables and brand name items in the fridge before the door closed, my eyes focused on the jug as she trotted over to pour what turned out to be the pancake mix. My nose definitely didn't lie when the goop started to sizzle and the smell of sweet dough filled the kitchen.

I took the moment to look around the nicely-sized house as she continued to cook and scrounge around for various other items, like a waffle iron and what sounded like silverware. The hallway where the guest and master bedroom were was in plain view, and it was at this point that I recognized from the door being slightly ajar that at the very end of the hallway was a bathroom. The wooden floor was covered by various rugs closer by the couch and coffee table just a few steps away from the dining room on the west-facing portion of the house. The dining table where I was remained just a scotch to the left of the front entrance, blocking a straightaway path into the kitchen where my pegasus host was continuing to cook and now humming while she did so.

I turned back toward the table just as Sam's wife placed a plate for me. My stomach had been grumbling from the smell but had now growled when my eyes took in the golden brown stacks that steamed from being fresh off the pan. A glass syrup dispenser, a jar of powdered sugar and a stack of napkins could also be found on the table just as I took hold of a taller stack of waffles on the plate opposite of mine.

Seeing her approach me I reached out to take the "I ❤ Seaddle" mug that she held by the handle with her mouth. The sides were toasty but not scolding hot when I set in on the table before me.

"Thanks." Sam's wife said and then hopped onto her chair without even needing to unfurl her wings for balance and took a seat. Without premise, the pegasus mare started the conversation while shaking some powdered sugar onto her waffles, holding the jar between her hooves. I was a somewhat caught in amazement, watching her easily manipulate the fork and knife before her to take a few bites of her food when she said, "Alright, so talk to me."

I may be dense, but it didn't take me long to realize what she meant by that. "I don't want to seem rude, but..." I began quietly, taking the time to breathe through the flashes of pain that roiled inside my skull from my hangover. I cradled the toasty-warm mug in my hands, smelling the freshly cooked grounds intermingle with the pancake's odor. "I'd rather not air out my problems any more than I need to."

She looked at me without saying anything for a short moment, maybe a couple of seconds, before cracking a smile that belied her attempt to keep from laughing. Without placing her fork down she asked, "You...you think that I'm the gabby one?" Her amused tone was far from grating, surprisingly enough, and instead it made me a bit self conscious as to whether I was blushing or not.

Maybe it's because I didn't think she would try to hit on me at some point? There was a sort of comfortable feel, though it was unlike hanging out with Sam and Lucky last night. Sort of as though I was talking with a pony Oprah. "Kinda..."

She hummed and chuckled, musing still how to continue as though she was finding my paranoia adorable. "Tell me, Matt. How is it that you know about Raven's ex in the first place?"

I gulped but answered as honestly and tactfully as I could. "Well, first Giselle got righteously angry at me, and then last night Sa-...ohhhhh..."

It clicked.

It all clicked now, what Becky had told me. Her voice, as ambivalent as I've become in remembering it, echoed what she said the day we met.

The pony chuckled again and poured some more coffee into my mug. "You wouldn't believe how many secrets leaked out because of those two. Giselle, who's really blunt by nature, and Sam, because he gossips more than a bored housewife. I swear, he learned a bit too much from my dad." Sunbeam exhaled slowly while wearing a somber smile. "So your secrets are safe with me, Matt. Promise." She motioned her hooves as though to take off an imaginary cap in one while raising the other to display her still-horseshoeless hoof. "Scout's honor."

That's a thing here, too? I really oughta stop being surprised by that.

Comforted by her assurance, I decided to go for broke. Taking a breath to ready myself, I thought for a moment where to begin. "Uh, let's see...I slept with Raven. Thinking that she was Becky. Becky was apparently the mastermind and I don't know how involved Raven is. Giselle hates my guts now, and wants me to apparently find Raven because she won't tell me where she lives to apologize to her. And I'm becoming less and less inclined to do that the more I think about it."

I would have gone on, unleashing my thoughts on the matter now that this sort-of therapy session opened the spigot, so to speak, but a flash of recognition appeared in the mare's eyes and her brows furrowed for a moment. "Oh dear...this is almost like with Mary-Anne..."

Mary-Anne? Where have I heard that name before...?

She caught the curiosity growing in my eyes and cleared her throat before speaking. "I won't tell you, so don't ask."

"I guess you really are good at keeping secrets," I said with a chuckle. After sipping on my already-cooling coffee, despite the warmth of the mug, I added, "Did I mention that Giselle's threatened to stomp on my balls?"

She smirked when she heard that. "Hon, if you knew how easily that mare gets riled up you'd realize that's almost a term of endearment. Almost. I'll talk to her for you."

"I'm still afraid for the health of my balls."

"Huh." She blinked and took on a reminiscing look. "Y'know, that's almost word-for-word what Sam said to me once when Lucky found out we were dating."

"Speaking of, I heard you fought Lucky from Sam last night."

"I kicked Lucky's ass, is what happened." She declared with a neutral expression in her eyes but an unmistakably sly grin.

I nodded with a smile and finished up my breakfast in earnest. Sam's wife is alright. I took a sip of my coffee and felt a tingle rush up my spine. Damn she makes a damn good cup of joe.

"Thank you." She gleefully said from just seeing my reaction. We spent the next few moments eating and chatting on much lighter subjects when there was a knocking at the door.

We both glanced toward the window and I spotted a dark skinned man outside wave toward us. "Hey, Jef! Come in!" Sam's wife said in recognition as she looked back over her shoulder, inviting the familiar face and he obliged by opening the apparently unlocked front door.

"Hey Sunbeam." Jef said in greeting as he entered.

Sunbeam! That's her name!

The dark skinned man smiled as he approached the still-seated Sunbeam and they quickly hugged. Standing tall once more, he looked over and noticed me sitting at the table. "Hey, Matt. Been a while."

I wordlessly waved, focusing more on chewing my food.

"You're not cheating on Sam, are you, Sunbeam?" Jef joked, turning toward the mare.

"What's to say that I'm not cheating on Sam, huh?" Sunbeam teased, winking in my direction.

I subconsciously scooted my chair backwards.

"You? Cheat on Sam? Hah!" Jef lightly scoffed, earning laugh from the pony. It was a bit more until we finished with breakfast, after Sunbeam insisted that Jef join us. She went as far as offering a few of her waffles and poured out another mug of coffee. They chatted, mostly about things I didn't pay attention to. Pony fashion, Equestrian politics, celebrity gossip. Jef was strangely in tune and even a bit too engaged talking about a prince Shining Armor and his wife, or some such.

After clearing the table, against Sunbeam's behest that we leave it to her, Jef, Sunbeam and I were standing around the opened front door. I wasn't really paying attention as Jef and Sunbeam started to talk about gossip once more, this time about rumors that the captain of the Wonderbolts - Equestria's stunt flying team - had a human boyfriend, or some such. I wasn't entirely paying attention to what they were saying as much as the clock on the far wall, just atop the couch, which said that it was nearly a quarter after seven.

"Hey, I've got an idea." Sunbeam's voice rang out, stealing my attention away from the clock. "Why don't you get some fresh air with Jef, huh? It'll do wonders for your hangover.

"Oh, so you're kicking me out, then?" Jef playfully accused, planting his hands on his hips.

"Yes." Sunbeam replied with a smug look.

"Touché." I couldn't help but comment over her wittiness, managing to crack a smile.

"Et toi, aussi." Sunbeam answered in a perfect accent.

Taken off guard I arched my eyebrows, impressed. "...you speak french?"

"Sam's tongue is good for more than just sloppy kisses, y'know."

"I will buy you anything if you never put that sort of image into my head, again." I quickly replied.

"Heh. It's a date, then." Sunbeam laughed in reply, waving her hoof daintily to the two of us and closed the door.

Jef and I began to walk and exchanged the usual sort of pleasantries. What we each have been up to, if we've heard about the happenings on Earth, news of the human delegation to the Griffon kingdom...boring sorts of things. Thankfully we avoided the topic of the weather, and it wasn't like we had access to television here. I was never much for most shows though I kept a with one or two network series on the weekends.

Soon enough a thunderous roar called my attention and I realized where our wandering had us ending up.

With the help of a light breeze, I walked through a light shroud of mist that sparkled in the summer sun's rays. Thinking about it, it's been about a month since I first came here, and I've only now gotten around to seeing the town's eponymous falls for myself. Several hundreds of feet away from where we were, I could see the base of coursing water crashing down with a great magnitude of force.

The falls were comprised of several levels (four, I think?) that cascaded from the nearby mountain. The sheer expanse of the falls was pretty extraordinary, like an ever-cascading flow being pushed out and over the edge of a giant's bathtub. Considering the magical nature of Equestria, I was sort of holding out hopes to see something epic like that. Though the more rational side of me knew I'd be completely freaked out if that came into being.

I mean, I was still coming to grips that unicorns and pegasi existed, after all. Not to mention that the weather was literally controlled by said pegasi, and unicorns themselves were capable of spells aplenty beyond just floating things about. Elemental spells that every daydream-prone kid and adult would love to have. There are enough of those types that would love to head over into Equestria back on earth to overpopulate every pony town, village, and city, but the back-and-forth flow of people and Equestrians is still tightly controlled. Makes me wonder what things would be like if those controls were ever loosened up even a tiny bit more.

And then there were people like Jef and Sam. It had only been a few years since the portal opened up, but people like them had already acclimated to the idea of talking ponies and magic. Of interspecies marriage and relationships, no less.

Humanity's ability to adapt aside, there were several questions stewing around in my head. One in particular was strong enough despite the now-receding hangover to ask, "I need to know...where do you get all of those magic Viagras, anyway?"

Jef continued to look ahead at the falls. "My job." He said vaguely, not stopping to ask how I knew what Boosters were.

"Which is?"

Continuing his series of vague replies Jef said, "A Gentleman never kisses and tells."

I refrained from clicking my tongue, but my exasperation escaped into my tone when I prodded for a better answer. "Well fine, I'll ask someone who'll answer me straight, then."

"I just said it. I'm a Gentleman." He looked at me in surprise at my foul demeanor. He turned to look at me, asking, "Are you alright, Matt?"

I had thought that he was going for some sort of "Who's on first" schtick but apparently not. "Excuse me if my hangover is making me a bit dense this fine morning." I said, a bit embarrassed.

"Well, in the plainest way possible, I comfort mares."

It took me a moment to compute that, hangover notwithstanding. The fancy duds, the suave demeanor, and the apparent ease with conversation all finally meshed into a solid picture. "So...you're a gigolo, then."

Looking like he was about to protest my interpretation, Jef shrugged while creasing his brow. "In a manner of speaking, yeah." I could sense he wanted to say more, but he refrained from doing so. Maybe he was wary about how I would react and began being more careful with his responses.

"You must have been a lot more trashed than I thought you were." He said with a heavy exhale, then looked to me for confirmation.

I said the first thing that popped into my head. "It's because of that crazy mix of alcohol and magic Viagra you made me do."

"No dude, you were pretty straight when we did the shots. You don't remember the rounds you kept buying yourself?" He finally stopped walking, prompting me to do the same. "Or that I got you water and asked you to settle down? You and Raven disappeared on us and Becky told me not to worry...did something serious happen?"

"She didn't tell you?" I wondered aloud, trying to figure out who knew and how didn't.

"No, I haven't seen her since that night." Jef explained, then added, "Same with Raven and she usually visits every week. Did something happen?"

"You mean me and...yeah...we did."

"No, besides that. After that." He probed for more, trying to read my reaction as I tried think of a sterilized response. I gulped, seeing the look of concern in his eyes even as he took on an otherwise perfect stone-cold poker face. I looked everywhere else but toward him, searching for a way to answer, or change the subject. I noticed that the crowds had gotten a lot bigger around us since we first headed out, and I was surprised to see so many unfamiliar faces.

While ponies in general all looked similar to me, there were quite a number of townsfolk that seemed recognizable on my daily trips to work or to shop for groceries.

He also noticed the crowds. "...it looks to be tourist season once again." Jef observed, thankfully changing the subject for me. He stepped closer next to me, but kept a polite bubble of space between us. He sighed in his pause before continuing. "When everyone's given a great welcome as though all of us townsfolk work in a resort."

"Tourist season?" I had to ask, wanting some clarification.

"It's when a lot of ponies and non-ponies come up to the falls for the longer days and enjoy the sights. There's a few popular places to swim here, y'know? So the local businesses tend to start hiring women dressed in bikinis as eye candy. Ponies too, of course."

"Yeah," I said with a nod, a foggy memory suddenly clearing in my mind. "I remember reading about it in the Guide."

A group of two women and three ponies passed us by, laughing and talking amongst ourselves. One of the mares - the unicorn of the group - had dolphins as a part of her cutie mark.

"Lots of zebras and griffons show up. I even met a minotaur, once." Jef continued regaling me with his everyday life. "If you think Crash was packed when you went that night, you ain't seen nothing until tourist season."

"They all talk, right?" I asked in an effort to change the subject, though I needed only to hear myself say those words aloud to realize how dumb I must've sounded. Luckily for me, Jef simply smirked and decided not to rib me for it.

"Yeah, they do. In general, animals from our world with cloven feet are a lot smarter and talk over here. Exception being dragons and griffons, of course. Though I still end up being surprised every now and then."

"Huh." It's a bit weird trying to figure out a formula for what's supposed to be "smart" and what isn't. Pretty befuddling, really.

He noticed my face contorting from the hardcore dialectics occurring in my mind and said with a chuckle, "Yeah. Equestria's a magical place, alright."

"You could say that again." I deadpanned and sighed.

"Excuse me!" Someone called out. Out of habit I craned by neck and turned my attention to wherever I though the voice came from, and spotted that group of girls from before approaching some bikini-clad greeters just as Jef had mentioned. “Hi, I was wondering if you knew...” the blue-coated pony began to ask while Jef and I remained standing in the ever-waning shade of an Equestrian-style house.

Finally, Jef returned to the topic at hand. "Listen, Matt. It may not seem my place to prod, but...Raven's a friend. And I want to think of you as my friend, too. A big part of my job is helping my clients deal with the shit they go through everyday, with a night when everything's about them. Nothing's forced and sometimes they open up to me and sometimes they don't. It's not my business to pry into traumatic pasts like I'm some sort of shrink, but I am a good listener. So I hope that when you're comfortable in telling me what happened, that you'll do so. But more importantly, I wish you all the luck and hope that you're able to deal with the aftermath head on. And that I'll have your back if you plan on making good on whatever the problem is. As trashed as you were I could tell that you're a smart dude."

I glanced at Jef, feeling relieved at hearing that. It was sort of different from the way I felt talking with Sam and Lucky, and with Sunbeam. Or it could simply be that the guy was scary good at knowing just what to say. But I think he was being genuine. "Thanks." I said, nodding my head. Looking forward once more, my mind felt a bit less nauseated as the fresh air seemed to play its part in making me feel much better than I had when I first woke up this morning.

After hours of staring at the clock while occasionally being interrupted by a customer, my shift was finally over. The sun had already set outside and now the few of us working this late into the night prepared to close up.

Earlier today Mrs. Plumcake had to leave because her son was caught up in some fight at school, which meant she had to meet with the teacher, but by closing time she already got back. She was scheduled as the Manager On Duty, after all. Apparently though, it wasn't that out of the question for her to be too busy to come back for closing.

While she was in her office doing whatever it was managers did, it was just me and Giselle up front at our respective teller booths. Jayson and Lauren managed to sneak away while Mrs. Plumcake was dealing with the situation at her son's school (those lucky bastards) but it seemed to have happened enough that nothing was really done about it.

Once the clock struck at the bank's closing time, I made sure to lock the front doors then returned to the remaining teller's booths, taking the cash boxes to the back and securing them in the proper areas after counting and noting what we had left.

Hmm. Why did this all seem familiar?

In any case, since the floors were kept immaculate and the counters were quite well dusted already, my chores at this point weren't really that arduous. That was when Mrs. Plumcake showed up, trotting happily despite the long day she probably had. Along with the clip clop of her hooves the set of keys she had jangled with every step. "Thank you for your help as always, you two," she told us. "If you could do me a favor, I need to hurry on home an-"

"Not a problem, Mrs. Plumcake," I said with a smile, seeing the universal distress of a caring mother before me.

At some point Giselle had appeared next to me. "Yeah. You go on ahead." She offered with polite understanding. In practically a flash, Mrs. Plumcake gave the other pony the bank keys and hurried on home.

After shutting off the lights and locking all the doors, we stepped out of the bank and despite it being summertime, it was chilly enough outside to warrant stuffing my hands into my pockets. Along with the balmy breeze was the tickling moisture in the air that reminded me of the eponymous falls that I had only visited today.

A growled out "Here you go" was all I heard from behind me before feeling something press against my hand. I glanced down to see Giselle's face brushing up against my palm and I freaked out, letting out a girly squeak while jumping forward. Giselle nickered in surprise and jumped back, dropping the folded sheet of paper she had between her teeth. The note fluttered to the ground, landing between us.

"What's this?" I asked with some caution, inspecting my hand and looking for teeth marks.

"Raven's address, you dumbass." She said, making her irritation with me plain in her tone. Giselle quickly composed herself, adjusting the straps of her saddlebag resting on her withers. "Since you've been dragging your feet to ask me for where Raven lives."

I blinked then looking down for a good few seconds I picked up the note. "Uh, thanks...why are you giving me this? I thought you hated me."

"Are you some kind of idiot?" She asked with an arched brow. "Of course I still hate you. But I care about Raven's feelings more than I hate you. She deserves that apology."

"Even though alcohol was involved?"

She rolled her eyes at me and sighed, making it obvious that she wanted to talk me down like usual but held back despite that. "...the long and short of it is that we see relationships a lot different than you humans do. Ponies, I mean. You've got all your taboos and yadda yadda, I know...got the cultural tolerance seminar and junk. I've been thinking. You're either too stupid to be a prude or you're a complete freak since you're still here in Equestria.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean? I'm as normal as the next guy."

She smirked and sent me a knowing look, as though sure that it would shut me up. "There was a girl before you showed up, Mar-"

"You know what," I interrupted, amazed by how unfiltered her mind seemed to be. "Don't tell me about someone else's problems."

"...suit yourself." She shrugged and began to walk away. "About that whole balls crushing thing, I didn't really mean that. I forget sometimes how much weaker you are. But I still hate you, by the way."

She left without a further word, merely a scoff loud enough for me to hear as her hooves clacked against the cobblestone street.

"Hey, Giselle." I called out. She stopped and looked over her shoulder to me and I gave a smug smile. As smug as I possibly could make it. "I just want you to know, from the bottom of my heart...I hate you too. With all of my hate."

She rolled her eyes and walked away, shaking her head. "Weirdo."

Author's Note

Here's a thing.

Side Chapter: Giselle

It all started when Bell Weather cheated on Raven.

It devastated her! The poor girl spent two whole weeks crying alone in her apartment. All thanks to that feathered rat. He even had the gall to never apologize. Instead, I had to chase him all the way west to Seaddle to give him a piece of my mind. I got a few bruised ribs, sure, but I'm pretty sure he's still unable to fly for a few more months.

Now, I may be stubborn. Bullheaded, even. But despite how guilty Bell Weather is, I know that I'm ultimately responsible for setting them up together in the first place: I was the one who persuaded Raven to go on a blind date with him.

How could I have known that he was just using her? Coming by whenever his herd wasn't in the mood?

Hmph. Why did he lie about having a herd for all those months? The dates they went on, the little anniversaries they celebrated.

Even worse...how didn't I find out that he had one? Three mares, two pegasi and an earth pony. A bunch of hags if you ask me. Bell Weather always acted so cocky and boastful around Raven but when he was hiding behind those three mares when I chased him down he had his tail between his legs. A glass jaw, too.

Raven has always been a bit weird, ever since elementary school. She was uncomfortable with the idea of being in a herd, feeling anxious that she wouldn't fit in or be as appreciated as the other mares were.

Heh. We're such complete opposites.

Unlike her, I never saw the appeal of humans and was surprised that Raven was even willing to try her hoof with them. While there were some humans that followed the Equestrian method, the vast majority of them seemed to be Matched Pairs.

At some point Raven decided to date a human, before Bell Weather, a few years after the Princess announced the humans' existence and we all started going to each others' worlds. It turned out weird. Like, really weird. Apparently he never wanted Raven to say word. Ugh.

I just wanted to set her up with a stallion, and that's where Bell Weather came in.

That didn't really pan out, of course.

So when we found out we were getting a new hire at the branch, I had so much guarded hope when I saw the look of infatuation on Raven's face when we came across a picture of the new guy. That, maybe there was something that could be done to help her get over the feathered rat. Something so far and away that would get her mind off the whole affair.

But what do you know? I try to support her and what happens? I just had a bad feeling when I saw how uneasy he was when Sunbeam and Sam were being affectionate with each other that night at the club.

Why didn't I stop her? What sort of friend am I?

"You're doing it again."

After a blink, I remember who was here with me in my room. The unflappable pegasus, Sunbeam.

"Doing what?" I ask, my throat a bit tenser than I would have liked. It made my voice crack a bit. Anyways, I already knew that was an obvious tell about my current thoughts.

As for what I was "doing"? Sunbeam was keenly aware of my tail sliding back and forth, sweeping the ground.

"You really oughta simmer down about this, Ellie." Sunbeam said with a sigh, pointing at my tail with a hoof as it continued to sweep of its own accord.

Sunbeam decided to stop by my apartment this morning and it's already noon. We spent the majority of it hanging around, really. Nothing absolutely girly. It's not like there's that much of a difference between what mares and stallions like to do in their spare time, right?

We chatted, wondering about the newest gadgets and fashions and furniture. Gossip was involved, of course, but mostly it was me regaling Sunbeam about various things and at some point we got to the topic of...recent events.

In any case I clicked my tongue when Sunbeam made that comment, since I knew where she sided on the issue. It didn't take a genius to figure it out, of course, since she's married to one of them.

"Oh, don't give me that look," Sunbeam said, able to read my expression as always. While wearing that motherly smile of hers she batted off the irritation I sent toward her way like it was a heavy perfume. "You know this isn't his fault."

"Of course it isn't," I quickly replied, feeling my tail sweep even faster. Of course I knew who was really to blame for Raven getting hurt again. "If I had just kept Raven from-"

"It isn't your fault either, Ellie." Sunbeam admonished me. She sat closer to me, wrapping me in her wing and pulling me to lean my head on her shoulder. "Neither was the time with Bell Weather. Or did I end up with a black eye trying to pull you out of a brawl with a whole herd by yourself for nothing?"

I pouted, remembering that she was the sole reason I didn't get my butt handed me that day, considering I was facing two pegasi and the biggest earth pony mare I'd ever seen. But it was still embarrassing to admit. Everypony else only knows the story of how I trashed a herd to avenge my Pony Friends Forever's feelings. "...I never asked you to come with me."

"Raven's an adult. Sure she needs support from her friends like anypony else, but she doesn't need someone to fight her battles for her."

I pushed off of her shoulder and jumped to my hooves when I heard that, declaring, "I wasn't going to fight him. Just trample him a little."

Withdrawing her wing to her side, she let out a frustrated growl and said, "You always need to put up an act but then you end up doing things without thinking. You're just like your dad."

Heh. My so-called "father" back in Canterlot would never do anything unless it worked in his schemes, much less be spontaneous. It's absurd to think such a pony like Windfall could end up being an Equestrian representative to the humans. The things family connections conjured up, huh?

No, I knew perfectly well who Sunbeam was talking about.

"You're just saying that." I rolled my eyes and sat down on my haunches, letting out a huffy sigh. "You're always saying stuff like that to calm me down."

Sunbeam let out a grin. "Because it's true." Noticing her gesture her head, I reluctantly followed her out of my apartment and down the steps as she added, "and because it works, too."

I let out a huff at that truism, walking alongside her down the street. We continued at a casual pace when she suddenly chuckled out with a smile, "I swear, you're pretty much dad if he were a mare."

A shiver of excitement ran up his spine, and I wracked my brain wondering how much truth was in that statement. Mom was always careful about her words. It was as if the house had ears, but every so often she indulged in my filly self and told me a quick story, or a little event that I reminded her of. The most I ever learned from mom was that I had a herd-sister in Neighagra Falls, before she...

"...what would he do in this situation?" I wondered aloud, trying to interrupt my own thoughts. At the same time I felt my tail try its hardest to sweep the ground as I walked, garnering a few curious glances. I ignored them, of course.

"Hmmm...probably rely on his herd," she replied, then snickered. "But I guess you're stuck with me until you get yourself a guy."

"Like that's ever going to happen."

"Well...you just have to find yourself a stallion that enjoys being verbally abused and snapped at whenever you're too embarrassed. Although, you could always switch to being nice every now and then to keep him hooked." She aimed a wicked smirk my way, as though that was my only option.

"That's the very definition of a dysfunctional relationship." I said with a scoff, not liking the sound of that. Even if it was supposed to be a joke.

Pulling us closer with her wing Sunbeam said, "Hey, right now your problem is getting a relationship. Let's take things one step at a time."

I tried to stifle my laugh, but her smirking continues to pry it out of me.

After managing to calm down I asked, "And what do you think I should do?"

We both seemed to stop at the same time as she glanced up to the sky in thought. I happened to looked away for a moment, seeing that her and Sam's house was just down the street a bit.

"Eat ice cream." She said, making my ears perk up and return my attention to her. "Lots and lots of ice cream. Sam's out of town so we could eat his share of it, too. Come on, let's see if we can finish it all before your shift, tonight!"

I grinned when she said that. For whatever reason me and Sam loved the same flavor.

Author's Note

This takes place the same day as Chapter 5, by the by.

Esteem part 2

After finally confronting Giselle I felt...alright. No longer afraid for the safety of my balls, that's for sure. But as for my situation as a whole, well - I knew that would take some more work.

Walking up the stairs of the complex I turned the corner and found Becky sitting outside of my door. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail and she was dressed up in pajama pants and a sweater. Becky jumped to her feet when I came into view and stopped a few feet from her.

"What's up?" She asked, trying to sound and look chipper. Of course, after a minute of silence that act quickly faded and Becky's attitude became more, well, let's call it, "contrite." With her head lowered a bit, she glanced upward to me to say, "I've been doing a lot of thinking about it, and I'm sorry."

"...someone told you to apologize, huh?" I asked simply.

She was surprised by this and quickly blurted out, "What? No. Why would you even-"

I cut her off, not exactly in the mood to drag this out too long. "It was Sunbeam, wasn't it?"

Becky paused long enough to take a good enough look at my expression and became much more conscious of how she was trying to act. At least, that's what I'd like to think. After a moment of leaving her mouth agape she finally said in a quiet voice, "...Yeah."

Given all that’s happened so far, this sort of progression was pretty much an impossible scenario, given how inactive I’ve been on my part. Was Sunbeam trying to solve all of my problems for me? How is it that she seemed to be more invested in my life than I was? Well, despite all of the setbacks I’ve gone through, things always seemed to come out alright. Maybe I was expecting things to just solve themselves; I haven’t changed at all, have I?

Rather than let things go on like this, continue on like a line without my input changing the results, I’ll take a stand. Some sort of stand...to think I don’t even know what that really means. In any case, I’ll deal with what’s going on with the here and now and worry about everything else later.

"Why don't you come inside?" I offered and opened the door, holding it open for her to step in first. It only took a few steps in, of course to end up in the center of my apartment. After closing the door behind me I gestured for her to sit on the bed while I sat onto my chair.

A thought came to mind and I took to my feet again. "You want some water?"

Becky shook her head. "Oh, you really don't have to do that, thanks. This'll be quick, I promise." Hearing that I sat back down and waited for her to start. "So, like I said...I'm sorry."

I gave a simple reply in acknowledgement of her simple apology. "Alright."

She blinked at my response and asked, "Wait, you aren't going to forgive me?"

My face stoic to her reaction, I let out a long pent up sigh. A pent up sigh that was sure to make her misunderstand just how familiar the whole recent state of affairs felt. I shifted the back of the chair so I more naturally faced Becky's direction and figured now was as good time as any to dig out a bit of my past that I hoped to keep buried. "Becky, I've done some dumb things. Really dumb things in my life. Mostly in college. I honestly didn't think Equestria would be a redux of those years.” And the more I think about it, I haven’t done much to ensure this wouldn’t happen again.

“I've never been one to really let things like getting tricked into sleeping with someone get under my skin. I was surprised, a bit terrified even, by what happened. But besides the threats and the slut shaming I can't really complain about my time here. I sort of recollect all the drinks I had even before that concoction I let myself get roped into having. And so, there's a bit of my fault in what happened, I'll be the first to admit.” To think I’m able to say all this with a straight face. Taking the high road.

"I've already learned the lesson of letting my anger get the best of me. I've done the court-ordered anger management classes, after all. To tell you the truth, something that petty is not worth a night in jail. And I don't know about you, but the amount of money the bank is paying me to be here? Amazing. I mean, I'm making a whole year's salary in half the time.

"So in the grand scheme of things, what happened that night, personally, is small stuff."

At first unsure how to reply, which showed from her ever changing facial expressions as I gave my little speech, Becky gulped and finally asked, "Does that mean you're alright with it? Water under the bridge?"

I understood what she was doing. Becky was trying to set things back to "normal" again. Is it wrong of me that I secretly wanted her to stew a bit more on the results of her scheme? To make up for the kind of guilt she tried to heap onto me? Sure, there were lots of factors involved in what happened that night and ensuing morning. But I could at the very least savor this sort of step I'm making. "...I'll forgive you eventually. Just let me brood for a bit more."

Becky forced a chuckle and smile as she brushed back a loose strand of hair from her face. "Yeah. I guess I owe you at least that much, huh?"

"Actually more than that. Much more...eh...I dunno...I'll think on it."

She nodded, still unsure how to react.

"Good night, Becky," I said with a nod, giving her a smile. She flinched the moment I stood up, making the psychology minor in me wonder what that was about. But I really wanted to just get past all of this and opened the front door.

She took the hint and made her way out. "G-good night," she said sheepishly. She remained standing outside when I closed the door, then proceeded to get ready for bed.

I'm tired of getting sucked into drama. I’m going to finally take a stand, even if that means I’ll confront my past self. I really don't have to apologize to anyone.

I began to change out of my clothes when a piece if paper fluttered down to the floor.

I unfolded it to see that it was the directions to Raven's home in Canterlot. Without a second thought I ripped up the piece of paper that had Raven's address and tossed the scraps into the waste basket then got ready to sleep.

Esteem part 2

I can't believe how well I slept last night.

Without even needing to stretch out any kinks I opened my eyes as sunlight peeked through the curtains just right to bounce off the white walls and illuminate the room to set a comfortable mood.

Throwing my covers off to the side, I leapt to my feet, excited to get the day started. For the first time in a long while I felt a bounce to my step and, pardon the cliché, as though a weight was lifted off my shoulders. A nagging, sneering, four-legged weight with an orange mane. I dressed and cleaned up and ate my breakfast without any problems at all.

The walk to work seemed brighter today, too. Heck, everything in Neighagra Falls seemed to shimmer and shine. The sun was bright and merry and all of that fun stuff.

I was sure that from here on out everything would be fine.

Just as I stepped into the bank, Mrs. Plumbcake's cheerful voice carried over from just behind the Employee's Only door, keeping it opened with her shoulder against it. "Ah, Matthew. You're just in time." She gestured me to hurry over with a wave of her hoof and held the door open just long enough for me to catch it as it began to close. I watched her trot a few steps down the short hallway and make a right to the area behind the teller's counter. following her, I came across an unfamiliar pony standing next to Mrs. Plumbcake.

"Marigold is replacing our day manager, Peter, who had been transferred to another branch,” Mrs. Plumbcake started to explain. “It was all incredibly short notice, so unfortunately we didn't have the chance to have a going away party for him."

I managed a quick glance toward the pony in question. Marigold was a cream-colored gal with a curly mane and tail. They were both managed into raids that seemed spongey like blue cotton candy. She looked upbeat and happy to be here like most any pony I've seen in Equestria. I emphasize most.

“She was actually working for the bank on the other side of the portal as a part of the exchange program, and we’re just so happy to have her at First Neighagra!” The mare didn’t wait for me to begin applauding, which involved lightly tapping her front hooves on the floor.

“Nice to meet you,” I politely said with a nod when Mrs. Plumbcake was finished.

“Likewise,” she replied, adding a wink.

I took exception to that, of course, and let out an awkward chuckle. The kind that a person only gives to fill in an awkward silence when their boss was around. Speaking of which, Mrs. Plumbcake, of course none the wiser, turned to her new day manager she said, “Matthew here is also relatively new, but has been such a great asset to the team. I’m sure you’ll have nothing to worry about.” And as she was wont to, the ever-giddy mare looked my way and smiled. “Keep up the good work, Matthew!” She led Marigold toward the manager’s office, leaving me confused about what just happened and more than a bit rustled.

A more familiar face arrived, reminding me that I still had my opening responsibilities to attend to.

I mumbled out my usual "Mornin'" to Sunbeam as she made her way to her teller booth. She mumbled her own giggled reply as she tried and failed to pretend she wasn't fully awake.

We dutifully set up our registers and booted up our computers without exchanging a word, hearing the tone sing out as the screen display asked for a password to continue. I used to think that touchscreens were complete rubbish until I saw how useful they were to ponies, what with their hooves and all. I still found it easier to use a keyboard, for obvious reasons. More amazing is the fact that most of the ponies here had better writing than I did. And that was without using magic, or even the specialized pens that a few companies had been trying to hawk for the past few years.

In fact, in the time it took me to glance at my watch to see we had about six minutes before opening, Sunbeam had already logged in and set up her station. She was already starting on her cash drawer by the time my desktop came into view. Then right on schedule, at five minutes to opening, Mrs. Plumbcake excitedly trotted out with her manager’s ring of keys toward the front door. Even from where I stood, I could see a number of ponies and people already waiting outside. “Alright, everyone!” I heard Mrs. Plumbcake say. “The bank is open!”

I looked over to my screen and contemplated if I should change the Slowpoke wallpaper when I heard Sunbeam ask, "Are you still good to go out with us, tonight?"

“Sure, I see no reason not to,” I replied in a chipper tone. I split my attention between glancing at her and my computer screen to quickly pull up the banking software that allowed quick and easy access to our most recently updated databank delivery. “The usual place at six?”

“Yep! Same time, same place!” Sunbeam seemed to have noticed my slight change in demeanor, looking unsure as to whether she should comment or not. It was only a matter of seconds before she shrugged and smiled my way then looked away to help her first customer. “Welcome to Neighagra First Bank, Mr. Clockwork!” She said, greeting the bearded stallion in a familiar tone, “How are you, this morning?”

I looked ahead as well, waiting to help my first customer of the day watching the customers stream in. A number of “regulars” came in at different gaits, but mostly I was affected enough by my great mood to watch for every pony and person’s facial expressions. Whether they were happy or tired or angr-.

"Hey, Jerk," a voice greeted from behind me. From those two words, it seemed my whole mood was threatened to turn sour. Common sense pulled at me, telling me subconsciously not to turn around until I heard my name instead. “I know you can hear me. Did you think about what we talked about last night?” But then instinct reared its stupid face and possessed me long enough to glance and confirm the obvious that, yeah, it was Giselle.

"Yeah, I thought about it," I said. Girding myself for the inevitable blowback, I then added, "And I don't plan on going."

Giselle for some reason seemed satisfied by that answer and gave the tiniest hint of a smile. "Good," she said and continued her train of thought. "I have a few restaurant ideas for you to take Raven to and...wha-? What do you mean you're not going?!"

I wanted to roll my eyes but worried that breaking eye contact even once would be an invitation to be bum rushed.

To think that she was so set on me giving in. I almost shook my head and sighed, but seeing her tense up as though ready to tackle me to the floor was more than a little intimidating. Survival instinct dictated that I remained still. It took me a fair bit of nerve not to take a step back when I repeated myself. "I'm not gonna go."

"You snot nosed..." For a moment there I thought she was really was going to pounce on me, but she hesitated after glancing to her left. My eyes quickly followed to see Sunbeam curtly spin around just as my focus shifted to her. A hint of movement drew my attention back to the pissed off mare in front of me, who had miraculously back off instead of trampling me in rage like she obviously looked like she wanted to. "...jerk. Why not? I thought we had an agreement."

"Besides our mutual hate, we didn't agree to bunk.” She continued to glare at me as if expecting lasers to strike me down. It was obvious that she had no idea what I was talking about, so I continued to make it as clear as possible. “You decided that I had to apologize for that set-up from Hell. And after lots of thinking about it last night, I decided that I'm not going to apologize for squat. Not like I'm expecting any apologies; I'm not petty like yours truly."

Her tail waved back and forth as though she was some sort of silent rattlesnake. I was pretty sure that Giselle's special talent had to involve the ability to unhinge her jaw.

"...I hate you," she hissed in a most fitting way.

"And I'm perfectly okay with that," I said with a shrug. "Anything else?"

She grumbled out some sort of threat - I wasn't really paying attention at this point - then stomped off after she realized that I wasn't going to be shivering at the mere sight of her anymore.

Alright, I'll admit that I did still sort of fear that she'd be waiting for me after work like some sort of school bully standing next to the flag pole after the last bell rang. But I'm not going to be cowed around anymore. I took a deep breath in and out to calm myself before looking ahead once more, realizing that I had been leaving one of my regulars without help. "Sorry for the wait, Mrs. Bluebell."

"Oh, not a problem, dearie," After a deep low, the ever-cheerful dairy cow continued with a finish of light laughter, "I'm not in much of a hurry, don't cha know?"

"To Matt for finally growing some balls!" Lucky cheered as he led the toast. After we clacked our mugs together, the stallion promptly drank his mug of beer in two solid gulps without even spilling a drop. While us mortal few drank in a more normal three to four gulps, Lucky had already flagged a nearby waitress for the next round. Through it all, Sunbeam only frowned and didn't join.

Not to say that she wasn’t drinking. Rather, she simply was against what the toast was celebrating. "I'm happy that you're finally asserting yourself but I'd have preferred you didn't do it by antagonizing Giselle like that." The mare expressed her opinion loud enough for our otherwise merry group to hear over the raucous of the bar around us.

Sam on the other hand, practically hollered his reply, pretty much confirming my suspicions in one go. “Cut him some slack, babe. The guy’s just been skating behind the path you’ve been bulldozing and sure he’s gonna...he’s gonna veer out a bit but he’s gotta veer...v-veer on his own to figure his shit out!”

“Couldn’t have rambled it better, myself!” I blurted out in comment and was immediately presented by the young husband to tap my mug against his. I promptly did so and we heartily finished our third and fifth mugs for the night, respectively. Just as we slammed the empty glasses onto the table, a waitress stopped by to deliver the next round and collect the clean up what we went through.

After the waitress was out of earshot, Sunbeam’s response was as straightforward as it was final, aimed dead set toward her human partner. “Well just for that you’ll be sleeping on the couch, tonight. WIth just your hands to keep you company.” She finally took a sip of her first and so far only drink.

Sam snickered as he took hold of his sixth mug. "Well joke's on you. I love to masturbate."

Not saying a thing, Sunbeam simply narrowed her eyes at the bald man, causing his smirk to disappear and him to avert his eyes to his lap. "...sorry, dear..."

After a moment Sunbeam sighed and hopped to the floor, her drink still only halfway done. "I'm going to go freshen up." We remained quiet as long as she was in earshot, but as soon as we collectively felt that the crowd around us afforded us cover, the three of us let out a group sigh. "See, this is why you should get a herd, Sam," Lucky grumbled.

"I bet he'd only get more mares like Sunbeam," I managed to snipe before taking a sip. The fresh batch made my taste buds dance at the surprisingly hoppy flavor, quite different than the last few rounds. My lips cringed just a bit from what had to have been an IPA of some sort.

"We've actually talked about it before,” Sam answered, his loose lips seeming to surprise even Lucky upon hearing this revelation.

“Wow,” I said, surprised that he replied as seriously as he did. I took a more tentative sip of the beer in my hand.

Sam shrugged and continued. "It's just that it's one thing to, y'know, be in a relationship with a pony. It's a whole other to be in love with more than one...at the same time."

Lucky guffawed and ribbed his brother-in-law with his hoof then turned toward me as he boasted,."I do it all the time. Only for a night, but still."

I shook my head, amazed by his audacity. "Does your misogyny know no bound?"

"Uh, hello? I'm a pony."

His explanation riled me up just a tad, but I held my tongue for a moment to take another drink So I could clear my head before making a slightly slurred rebuttal. "News flash: that's never been a good excuse."

"What?” He balked at my input. “It's the best excuse!"

"No, it isn't. You've taken all the worst things about being a human male and tucked it into a pony body. Hell, I'm pretty sure you're singlehandedly...uh...hoofedly? setting all of stallionhood back a century. I mean, it's like you stepped out of a feminazi's PSA video. Have you ever heard of Poe's Law? Seriously."

Lucky simply raised his eyebrow and took a long, silent slurp of his drink while keeping his eyes trained on me then said, "You sure have gotten chatty since finding your balls, man. Yeesh."

With impeccable timing Sam broke into my and Lucky’s standoff by literally sitting between us and rapped by shoulder with his knuckles. “Dude. Matt, dude. She's totally into you."

“Shit, your bitching must have attracted her attention,” Lucky chuckled out, speaking partially into his glass before taking a sip. “I don’t think she’s into chicks like you, Matt. Y’know, ones that are on the rag?”

“What are you even…?” Immediately I turned to face the direction he was, looking over my shoulder towards the bar. The crowd of people and ponies was a bit difficult to look past, but a small gap gave me a narrow window toward a woman that was staring right at me.

Apparently she noticed me since she spun around to look away.

“Go, my son,” Sam declared in some sort of elder statesman voice. “Give her one for the Gipper.”

Lucky shook his head and tapped his hoof against Sam’s chest. “But that goes completely against Matt’s M.O. He should just wait for everything to be done for him, then bitch and complain until somepony solves his problems.”

"Fuck it," I finally said, pretty much ignoring the pony at this point. "I'm going in."

"Wait, for real? You’re the man now, dog!" I heard Lucky raucously cheer in a quick turnaround, but even that was drowned out by the crowd around me.

I instead focused on reaching the bar, needing to first make it past the crowd of bodies in my way. Not to mention the hesitation at the back of my mind. An anxious worry that she wasn’t even looking at me. Or that she’d shoot me down. Heck, a girl like her is probably just waiting for her friend or boyfriend to get back from the bathroom. What chance was there for an empty spot to remain right next to a hot girl by the time I arrived? Still, every time I peered over the heads of other people she was still there. My resolve strengthened a bit and every step I made was tugged back less and less by the chains of worry than the previous one. I weaved through the people and ponies until I slid onto the barstool next to the red head.

"Hey. I'm Matt," I said without preamble, as though it was the most normal thing to do in this sort of situation.

She replied with a smile. A gorgeous, bright smile. It took me a bit more concentration than I care to admit to keep my eyes trained toward her. I just wanted to roam my glance all over her. How her petite frame managed to fit in that little black dress of hers, how her light tanned skin seemed to contrast with the sequined number.

As my luck would have it, the bartender arrived just then to set a brightly-colored drink in a tall, skinny glass. “That’ll be four-fifty,” he told her.

“I got it,” I quickly called out. I reached into my wallet and doled out a ten onto the bar, though watched as the bartender wordlessly looked to the girl. She nodded and the bartender took the ten, shortly returning with the change. I made the ever-so-impressive tip of a dollar before returning my attention to the red-head.

“What’s your name?” I asked as she took her time to sip her free drink.

Finally, she made eye contact, letting see her smokey green eyes roam over me in a quick once-over. As it just so happened, I was still in my work clothes, though sans jacket and tie. I quickly glanced down to check that the top button was unfastened before looking ahead once more. "Suzy," she said, grinning to show approval of what she saw so far.

“Matt.”

“Yeah, you already introduced your…” She stopped and blinked, realization dawning on her slightly freckled face as though she was Archimedes sitting in a bathtub. “I can't believe it…” she said, changing tack mid-sentence. “It is you. I remember you!" She announced this fact with a cute giggle, her smile growing even wider.

I smiled and chuckled, unable to recall ever meeting someone like her. Maybe it happened at work? My mind tended to drift off for minutes at a time while behind the teller’s booth. In any case I became quite aware of the positive attention she sent my way. With another chuckle I can only ask, "You do?"

"Well, yeah! You were so brave to stand up for those Diamond Dogs."

My brain was jumping hoops trying to follow her logic and I muttered to myself, "Diamond…? OH!” It hit me pretty hard, what happened in this very bar a few night ago. “Well I guess that saves me the trouble of using pick up lines on you…”

“So you buying a girl a drink doesn’t count?” She asked, her slightly scratchy voice carrying over the sound of the crowd around us.

“Why? Is it working?”

She tried to hold back a smile but failed to do so. “Maybe.”

“Heh. Fair enough.”

She paused for a moment to take another sip of her drink. I took this opportunity to look back at the others and instantly regretted doing so.

My eyebrows couldn’t have furrowed any more than they did when I caught sight of Sam and Lucky taking turns to pretend-doggystyle one another, looking at me and hollering in as stupid a fashion as possible. Sunbeam seemed to be taking it all in stride, downing a whole mug in one go while trying to look unassociated with her husband and brother’s shenanigans.

I chose to do the same, turning away just as Suzy resumed talking, having sipped about two thirds of her drink, already. “What would really work is if you told me why you were willing to fight those two guys the other day.”

“To be honest, I wasn't really looking for a fight," I say with a shrug. "I just thought it was the right thing to do."

She hummed and cooed before saying, "Well, to be honest, I felt really...impressed by that sort of chivalry." I could only gasp as she punctuated that statement not only through her tone, but with a very unmistakable non-verbal signal by lightly drawing her fair fingertips along my forearm.

My breath caught in my throat, I had to gulp before being able to reply. "You were?"

"Oh. Very much, so," she replied in a low voice, emphasizing her words with a sultry accentuation of her smokey green eyes. That mesmerizing pair of emeralds made me lost in my thoughts and I was sure that I was staring stupidly at this point. The way she traced her fingers up and down my arm, spelling something out that I was not at all in the position to try to figure out.

Somehow, amidst the noise of the crowd around us it felt like it was just her and me in the entire bar. My right leg was restlessly bouncing in place, reminding me of Thumper in the springtime. Somehow, I found the courage to ask, "So...you wanna get out of here?"

"Mmmm, I was wondering when you'd ask," she said happily, combing her hands through the bangs of her voluminous hair. I so just wanted to pull on that hair of hers while she was riding my hard di-

"Just one thing…” her voice interrupted my thoughts, bringing me back from that very-near possibility that I was just fantasizing. “My friend is here too, and I'm sure that she would love to join," Suzy said, pointing over to a unicorn sitting nearby the bar at a wall booth. It dawned on me that she had been watching me and Suzy's flirty exchange this whole time. Watching us with a look of hopeful expectation, of simmering want. Even from across the bar I could feel the heat of the orange-coated mare's gaze and saw her shiver from my noticing her.

Suzy's warm hand coiled around my index finger to slowly, teasingly stroke up from the knuckle to the tip. My attention definitely shot back to the fiery-haired woman. "Do you...have a problem with that?" She asked in a breathy manner.

My head was swimming and my body warm. My mouth crooked upwards into a wide smile at the meaning of what Suzy had just told me. What was going to happen if I took up her offer. The reverberation of the music whelmed my thoughts on the matter, as did the alcohol flowing through my bloodstream. Tilting my head back, I finished her glass then set it onto the table and grinned. "No. Not at all."

Author's Note

This can only lead to good things.

Epilogue

The roaring tell-tale sign of a hangover punched me in the schnoz and into consciousness, and continued to laugh remorselessly at my cringing and pained groaning. Or maybe that was just the loud, nasal snoring of the pony lying behind me.

I could feel her leg draped over my shoulder and her warm barrel pressed against my back so I knew every time she inhaled. In addition to feeling her hot, alcohol-laced breath cascade against the back of my head, that is. Or at least, I hoped to high heaven that it was a mare behind me. It wasn't like I could feel a set of balls pressing against me. Or a pouch. Whatever it was that stallions kept their wangs in. I couldn't feel much of anything besides the blanket of shittiness draped over me.

"Oh man..." I grumbled and mumbled out in protest, then resigned myself to never drink again, lest this happen a third time. "I'mneverdringingagin..." My body felt sore and aching. My head throbbed. I just wanted to go back to sleep but my bladder had its own agenda, alerting me to its need.

And so I resigned myself to staying awake, with heavy, half-lidded eyes, unable to recognize the arrangement of the furniture within my field of view of the darkened room I found myself in.

After a good ten or so ticks of an unseen clock punctuating the silence I turned over to look at my second equine partner since arriving in Equestria, only to see Giselle's slobbering mug less than an inch from my face.

"...well, shit."

Author's Note

To Be Continued In: "Self Actualization"

I've been debating with myself a lot about the direction of this fic. Months and months of debate. It's quite obvious to me that the way I've written Matt's character has led to a very great veering from my original story conception. I've scrapped more potential endings than you'd care to know and ultimately I feel that unless I heavily rewrote the characters and scene (as some of you have logically asserted that I should to regain your original interest in this fic), I pretty much locked myself into a linear path - not unlike how the so-called "protagonist" has done within the story.

But I became drawn, no...mesmerized by just how flawed a person Matt is, and how that really contrasted with how I originally conceived the progressive nature of Maslow's hierarchy.

In any case I'll be drafting up "Self Actualization" while putting up a few oneshots/short fics of the other aspects of the Gentlemanverse that I've started. Ones that are, y'know, more thematically related to the 'verse that DEL started.

~~I fully understand if disappointment in how I've decided to continue leads to your un-faving or un-watching. I never said I was a good writer, and if I didn't want criticisms I wouldn't have shared what I've written with y'all. If anything I'm just being experimental, even if it means I'm throwing away logic and sensibility for the sake of seeing what others think about it. I can afford to do that much in my efforts to improve, after all.~~

Why do I love to spout bullshit? Jeez. Maybe I just wanted to see a "complete" on this...yeah...