Chapter 1: Rude Awakening

Armor gave the revolver another spin and pulled the trigger. Once again, no shot. Normally she only put in one bullet, but today she felt like using two. As she nibbled on the barrel, she saw a pigeon fly past the castle sentries and disappear into the distance. It must be nice being able to fly. You could go anywhere, do anything. The pegasi didn’t know how lucky they had it.

“Here’s to you,” she muttered to the bird and took a gulp from a half empty vodka bottle. Nothing else did it for her anymore. By all medical accounts, she should have died by the third bottle, but Armor had always been a survivor. Hell, whenever she’d go to the bar with Iron Side, the other Peacekeepers would place bets on how much she’d drink before blacking out. The last pony that challenged her to a drinking contest was rushed to the hospital to get his stomach pumped.

After her fourth gulp, she drained the bottle and tossed it aside with all the others. Now she had a problem: she’d run out. Armor staggered to her feet and glared around for another bottle. No problem there; her room was littered with them. Apart from a dusty picture of the Goddess Lika, on her desk, the bottles were the only decorations she had. They clinked and clanged as Armor drunkenly made her way to a drawer under her desk. Hopefully she hadn’t drained her emergency stash; if so, she’d be forced to go outside.

The outside world was a terrible place for a celebrity. Every time she’d go outside, some young Peacekeeper would run up and ask for her autograph, or a story, or advice. Armor’s answer was always the same: go away. It’d never stopped them though. One would leave only to have another take its place. The worst ones were the ones that called her their hero. Just hearing that word made her sick to her stomach. There was only one cure.

“Booze!” she cheered as she pulled out a fresh vodka bottle. With her magic, she twisted off the cap and tossed it into the corner. There was another series of loud clinks as Armor trudged back to the windowsill and took her seat. Once she’d taken a satisfactory drink, she gave the revolver another spin and stuck it in her mouth.

Below her two young Peacekeepers were walking into the castle, gloating about their first assignments. One of them, an earth pony, was bragging about killing six ponies and a donkey. They were only smugglers, but she was telling it like she’d taken down the New Lunar Republic. No doubt Armor would have to hear the whole story soon. Armor squeezed the trigger, but, like before, nothing happened.

Armor spun the revolver again and fidgeted with her helmet. She’d been a Peacekeeper for fifteen years, and in all that time she’d never found a helmet that fit. Some were too small, others were too big. Eventually she gave up and settled for one that gave her a rash during summers. Iron suggested she stop wearing the thing, but she chose to get used to it; she never did though.

The world outside Armor’s barren room was vibrant, beautiful, even a little joyful, and it disgusted her. She’d made this country, and now she was forced to live in it. It might have been better if she’d died in Ponyville with her parents. The thought brought a slight smile to Armor’s lips as she gave the trigger another squeeze…she’d never die.

“Fuck this!” she said and slammed the gun on the windowsill. Armor turned back to the picture on her desk and pulled the top drawer open. With some difficulty, she levitated a bullet out and placed it in the revolver. As she spun the chamber around, she looked intently at her forelegs. Her right had three horizontal scars, while her left only had one. She could still feel the blades running across her flesh as she pulled the trigger.  “Ugh,” she groaned and drained her bottle.

“Okay,” she told herself as she spun the chamber, “you’re out. No big deal. You just need to get to the kitchen without being seen.”

“Like that’ll ever happen,” she retorted and bit down on the barrel. There was something outside that made her pause though. A tiny black circle had appeared over Canterlot, and something had come out. Armor set the gun down and squinted to make out what it was. It didn’t help that she had double vision at the moment, but it seemed to be flying towards the castle. And it was screaming.

At this point Armor realized the screaming thing was a mare, and she was headed right for Armor. “Oh crap,” she said and quickly conjured a telekinetic net. The shield came up just in time as the mare collided into Armor like a missile, hurling her back onto the empty vodka bottles. Armor could feel shards of broken glass dig into her backside. It was like a dozen knives were driving into her back, and she could feel a puddle of blood forming beneath her.

“I’m terribly sorry,” the mare apologized as she moved off of Armor. “This whole day has been one disaster after another…”

The mare went on, but Armor had stopped listening. The necklace hanging around her neck fully commanded Armor’s attention; it was the Element of Generosity.

Armor rose to her feet and stared at the unicorn incredulously. “…have we met before?” the mare asked. Armor didn’t answer and continued staring at the impossibility in front of her. The mare’s eyes darted about as she gave an uncomfortable smile. “Um-”

Armor shattered a bottle on her head and carried the body out of the room.

“Hey!” Twilight heard dimly. “You alright?”

Twilight gave a pained groan and blearily opened her eyes. For reasons she couldn’t remember, she found herself hanging on a tree branch. Realizing the height, she gasped and clung dearly to the wood. “Don’t move!” the voice shouted up to her. “Those branches don’t look too-”

There was a loud crack and Twilight plummeted through the branches. All the air was knocked out of her as she collided with the hard ground. “Ow,” she winced.

Somepony was laughing at her.

“Holy shit,” the voice cackled. “That was hilarious!”

“It wasn’t funny,” she said bitterly and struggled to her feet. Somepony placed a hoof on her stomach and pushed her upright. “I almost died.”

“Yeah,” the stallion answered. “That’s why it’s funny. Serves you right for sleeping that high in a tree.” The gray unicorn rolled his eyes as his highlighted blue mane swayed with his head. “C’mon, you gotta’ admit it’s a little funny.”

“No,” Twilight said bluntly. “I don’t think pain’s something to laugh about.” Why was she in a forest at night? And who was this stallion?

“Pfft,” the unicorn retorted. “It is when it’s caused by their own stupidity.” Twilight had a rebuttal on the tip of her tongue, but the weapon strapped to the unicorn’s back gave her pause. It wasn’t often that somepony would carry a gun, and the shotgun hanging to the stallion’s side seemed alien. The things were such barbaric instruments; even the sight of Equestrian guards carrying them made her uncomfortable. “For God’s sake, how the hell do you forget to fly out of a tree?” He didn’t seem to care in the slightest that she was an alicorn.

“It slipped my mind,” Twilight said bitterly. This stallion was starting to get on her nerves.

“You’d have to be an idiot to do that.”

Twilight gave another annoyed groan and surveyed the forest around her. Beneath the full moon, the redwoods were bathed in a pale blue hue. Odd, there weren’t many redwoods near Canterlot, and the ones here dwarfed any she’d ever read about. They felt large enough to touch the sky, which only perplexed her further. None of the constellations were familiar...Had it worked?

“Where are we?” she asked as she gazed upwards.

“Atlinian Forest.” There was no such forest in Equestria.

“And what country is this?”

“Solar Empire,” he answered, slightly confused. “Where’ve you been?”

Twilight’s eyes widened as she realized the moon illuminating her was not her own. They’d done it. “Sweet Celestia,” she muttered in amazement. “We’ve done it! We actually did it!” she exclaimed as she bounced around in giddy excitement. She and her friends had done what nopony had ever come close to.

“What the hell are you so happy about?”

Regaining her composure, Twilight cleared her throat and bowed. “I am Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria, and I am honored to be in your universe.”

The stallion gave her an unconvinced look and nodded slowly. Without a word, he walked away.

“No no, it’s the truth,” Twilight said and hurried after him. “I cast a spell using artifacts called the Elements of Harmony to-”

“Bullshit,” he interrupted without stopping.

“Excuse me?” Twilight responded, taken aback by the foul language.

“Bullshit,” he said clearly. “I dunno why there’s an alicorn in the middle of the Atlinian Forest, but I stop listening when they say they’re from another universe.”

“I can prove it.”

“Of course you can,” he patronized. The stallion eyed Twilight from horn to flank and paused. “Go ahead,” he sighed. “Not like I have anything better to do.”

“Excellent.” Twilight trotted back to the tree and searched the ground for her crown. It couldn’t have gotten far. After some searching, Twilight finally found her Element, still as illustrious as ever, and presented it to the stallion. “Here it is,” she said proudly, “the Element of Magic.”

The stallion moved in to inspect the object and asked, “So, you’re proof is something I nor anyone has ever seen, or even believed existed, and now you’re showing it to me like I know what the hell it’s supposed to look like?” Only now did she realize how illogical the plan sounded. “Princess or not, you’re pretty Goddamn stupid…got a nice shine though,” he muttered, “really nice shine. Kind’a thing you only see in Canterlot Castle.”

“You have a Canterlot?” she asked, choosing to ignore his insult. An argument during such an occasion would be quite unbecoming.

“Yeah, now- WOAH!” he shouted and lurched back onto his rump. “The fuck was that?!”

“What?”

“There was a spark or something in the big gem.” That’s strange; she’d never seen anything of the sort. “Y-you’re telling the truth,” he stuttered in shock. “You’re from another universe.”

Twilight placed the crown on her head and bowed. “It’s an honor to be here.”

The stallion scrambled to his feet and patted his mane, making sure it was arranged appropriately. “Well,” he said and gave an uneasy cough, “this is kind’a awkward.” He was obviously regretting the ‘stupid’ remarks. He couldn’t even look her in the eyes at this point.

“It’s alright,” Twilight said, placing a consoling hoof on his shoulder. “I’m your guest; you don’t need to be nervous.” On the inside, she was reveling at seeing him so uncomfortable. All the pompousness had vanished from him in an instant.

“My experiences with royalty haven’t been too great, so I’m not taking any chances.” Begrudgingly, he knelt down and moved to kiss Twilight’s hooves, only to have her back away.

“Please, don’t treat me any differently. I’m still getting used to the title myself.”

The stallion reluctantly stood up and looked into her eyes. “…Can you get me gold?”

Wow, that was quick.

“I’m not asking you to just give me it,” he added hurriedly. He flinched, like he was expected her to strike him, and stared at his hooves. “I-I-I have debts I need to pay, but I don’t have any money. I’ve been all over the Empire, so I’d make an excellent tour guide.” He flinched again when he gave himself praise and backed away.

“Well,” she said as she mulled the idea over in her head. The vaults in Canterlot were filled to the brim with jewels; surely they could manage to part with some of it. And she did need a guide after all, so a few jewels and some gold seemed like a reasonable trade. “Alright,” she smiled. “If you can show me around, I’d be happy to pay you.”

The stallion’s eyes shimmered as he stared at her. He was so grateful he couldn’t form any words properly. It felt good to brighten somepony’s day like this. At last, he took a deep breath and gave a humble bow. “Where to m’lady?”

Another day, another long morning of requests. Hearing the peasants talk about their problems was always the worst part of Solaris’s day. He had to get up at eight every morning and sit patiently as ponies talked, and talked, and talked, and talked, and talked. But it was almost ten; he just had to hold out a little longer and the hearings would be done for the day. He should be listening to the earth pony at his steps, but he was so dull.

His story had something to do with the colonies in the Outskirts, which certainly didn’t help his case. The colonists spent years revolting, but now they expected him to hold their hooves as if nothing happened.

“What say you my lord?”

Ugh, that was another thing. No one had spoken that way for centuries, but the colonists, being the troglodytes that they were, seemed to think he was stuck in the middle ages. There was no point correcting them, but it still annoyed him.

“My lord?”

Solaris snapped out of his daze and stared down at the agitated pony. “Hmm?”

“The entire town of Appaloosa was abducted by slavers!” his voice cracked. “What say you? Will you act?”

Appaloosa, the town that started the whole revolt; the thought of that place burning almost made him smile. He swore, by the High God Kai, that he wouldn’t lose any sleep if all the colonists dropped dead. “I’ll ask my advisor what he thinks.”

Solaris turned to his left and levitated a large black crystal in front of him. “Rocky you heard all that. What do you think?”

“You should give the colonists two hundred Peacekeepers.” What! Two hundred? Outrageous!

“Why should I!” Solaris argued. “They spent years resisting my authority-”

“Shut up!” How dare his advisor speak to him that way! “If you aren’t willing to watch over your own ponies, then you shouldn’t have fought to keep them. You are their Emperor and whether you like it or not, they deserve your protection.”

“This is ridiculous!” the earth pony shouted. “Innocent lives are at risk; please take this seriously!”

The peasant shrank to the floor as Solaris rose to his feet and set his advisor down. With barely contained rage, Solaris asked, “Are you giving me an order?”

“I- I’m sorry-”

“Are you sitting on the throne? Are you Emperor?”

The peasant cowered beneath his hooves, trembling in fear. “No, I-”

“LOOK AT ME WHEN SPEAKING!” his voice boomed.

“You’re talking to a rock,” the peasant murmured. How dare he address his advisor that way. The sight of the peasant screaming at the stake danced in Solaris’ mind, but he knew he couldn’t do it. The last thing he needed was another rebellion to deal with.

“You will get your soldiers.” With his magic, he picked the peasant into the air and tossed him to the throne room doors. “Now leave before I change my mind.”

With a hurried bow, the pony rushed out as five Peacekeepers entered. At the front was Armor, his most trusted follower and greatest asset. But this was her day off; why was she here? And who was the white unicorn floating beside her? “What’s the meaning of this Armor?” he asked curiously.

“Brute!” the unicorn barked after Armor dropped her to the tiled floor.

“Shut up,” Armor grunted and nodded to her Emperor. “This is Rarity, and she won’t stop whining.”

“It is not whining, it-”

“I don’t care what it is,” Armor said sadistically, “but if it doesn’t stop I’m going to put a muzzle on you!”

Before Rarity could retort, Solaris silenced them both. “I’ll ask again Armor: What’s the meaning of this?”

“Little Rarity here crashed into my room this morning. After I spent the morning getting glass picked out of my back,” she turned to show Solaris and Rarity the stitches, “we interrogated her. She had a rather…interesting story. Go on, tell him,” she ordered Rarity, who only gave her a bitter stare. “Fine.” Armor levitated a notebook and necklace to Solaris’s feet. “The necklace and sketches in this book of hers match the drawings in our archives. This is one of the Elements of Harmony,” she said with a touch of excitement, “and it’s in its activated state.”

“Meaning there are five other ponies with these,” Solaris finished. “But how is this possible? We have one of the Elements, and it looks nothing like this.”

“Care to tell him?” Armor asked Rarity. If this mare gave her one more dirty look, she’d tie a bag over her head. This was her one day off in months, and now she was wasting it away. “When I actually want you to speak, then you decide to shut the fuck up- Rarity’s from another universe.”

Solaris stifled a laugh and walked down to Rarity. He knelt down and pleasantly asked, “Is this true Miss Rarity? Are you indeed from another world?”

“Yes,” Rarity answered politely, “and that is my Element. I would like it back this instant.”

“I’m afraid I can’t allow that,” Solaris said with a sigh. “This is a dangerous world, and if certain ponies knew about this,” he said, raising the necklace, “then your life would be in great peril. For safety, I will hold onto this for now…Where are your friends Miss Rarity?”

“I don’t know. We were separated when we arrived.”

“Aww,” he said pityingly. “What a shame. Armor, isn’t that a shame?”

Armor snorted in disapproval and stared at the throne room doors, tapping her hoof impatiently.

“I believe I may be able to help you,” he told Rarity cheerfully. “All I need are descriptions of your friends, and my Peacekeepers will track them down forthwith. In the meantime, you may stay with me as long as necessary.”

Rarity gave Solaris a gleeful smile and bowed low. “Thank you very much,” she said gratefully.

“I might kill her if I’m around her much longer sir,” Armor warned.

“Then I’m ordering you not to.” Believe it or not, an order like that actually worked. Armor was a good Peacekeeper, and she’d carry out any order, no matter how much she hated it. She was a true model of his ideal soldier.

Armor’s expression went blank and she bowed her head. “Very well.”

“You,” he called to the other Peacekeepers, who stood prostrate, waiting for a command. “The life of Rarity is now your sole responsibility. Handle her like you’d handle me.”

“Yes sir,” they said in unison.

“Excellent. Take Miss Rarity to a sketch artist and get pictures of her friends and Elements circulated around the Empire.” The Peacekeepers saluted and escorted Rarity out, leaving him alone with Armor and Rocky.

“This is a golden opportunity,” Rocky said from the throne. “If we can find the Elements and their wielders, we’ll be unstoppable.”

“What do mean ‘if’?” he asked as he returned to his throne and admired the book and necklace. “We will find them. And when we do, the Children of the Night will burn once and for all.”

Why, in the name of all that is holy, would this mare not shut her damn mouth? All through the night and the breaking dawn, Frank had been forced to listen to this lunatic blather on about her imaginary country. Fuck, it was a listening to a broken record. Yes, the trees are different, move the fuck on!

“I mean, I’ve read stories of alternate universes,” the alicorn said with an annoying amount of enthusiasm, “and there have been countless theories on the subject, but we’re the first ponies to ever cross over.”

Really? You’ve only said that about four hundred times!

“Yeah,” he said, trying his best to sound pleasant. “It is pretty incredible, but don’t you think you could talk about something else?” Anything would be better than having to listen to her talk about how different this place was from the Everfar Forest…or was it Everfree? Everest? Whatever, he just had to put up with her until she fell asleep. Then the crown would be ripe for the taking.

“I’m sorry,” Twilight giggled, “I must sound like a broken record.” Holy shit could she read his thoughts? “Why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

Yeah, and ruin his meal ticket? Hell no. “What d’ya wanna’ know?”

Twilight craned her neck as a robin swooped over her head, chirping all the while. After a sigh of admiration, she turned back to him. “Your name would be a good start.”

“Frank.” He suppressed a grimace as he heard her choke back a laugh. “What? It’s not that weird a name. I met a stoner named Tom once.”

“What a coincidence,” she said, “I’ve met a stone named Tom once.”

I’m sure you have.

“Isn’t that str-” he stopped dead as he heard shrubs rustling nearby.

“What is-”

“Shut up,” he whispered. When she moved to speak again, he clamped a hoof to her mouth and eyed the woods cautiously. The Atlinian Forest was famous around the Empire. Mainly for its pristine wildlife, giant redwoods, and roving packs of bloodthirsty sarowolves ready to gut anyone they met.

Twilight could feel her heart thumping in her ears. Once again, Frank’s personality had shifted dramatically. The nervousness, the meekness, and whatever gentleness she’d seen had been wiped away. His ears flicked in every direction as he listened intently to the silence. His flank, embroidered with the silhouette of a unicorn, flexed as his body tensed, ready to spring at a moment’s notice.

“Run,” he mumbled too quietly to hear.

“What?”

“Fucking run!” he hollered and burst into a gallop. Without question, Twilight ran after him. A howl cracked through the air and Twilight heard them. She could see their hairy figures racing with them on both sides, snarling and cackling with the thrill of the hunt. Their bodies were doglike, but their arms and legs were stretched beyond any she’d ever seen. Their arms alone were as thick as her neck, and one hand could have held her entire head.

“What are those things?” she asked in panic. “Frank?” Twilight’s blood went cold when she realized Frank was gone.

“Run filly run,” one beast mocked. Twilight skidded to a stop and bolted right as another jumped out in front of her. It didn’t lunge though; it just screamed and flailed its arms madly. When she ran, it didn’t even chase her. She could hear it laughing as its brethren closed in on her.

Twilight threw her wings outward and thrust herself into the air with all her might. She was ten feet off the ground, so close to safety, when a rock struck her on the side of the head. Pain unlike any she’d ever felt before shot through her, and she crashed into the ground. Before she could get up, a large haired foot pressed down on her throat. Another bent her wing into an excruciating position.

Twilight cried out in pain and struggled to conjure a spell. The powerful glow of her horn died away as a hand clenched onto her horn. The rock and the bent wing were nothing to the pain emanating from her forehead. Every muscle in her body cramped and burned as if she was being burned alive. Her skull felt like it was being split down the middle and pried apart.

“Well isn’t this a treat?” the abuser said cheerfully. “We’ve had unicorn, and we’ve had pegasus, but never an alicorn.” Twilight screamed as he twisted his wrist violently, nearly snapping her horn off. “I wonder how they taste,” he continued over her cries. “Are they meaty? Are they juicy?” The beast gripped her horn harder and pressed down on her wing, waiting for one to crack.

“Hey,” a voice cut in, spoiling the moment, “Over here plothole!” Twilight gasped as her horn was relinquished and looked in the direction of her captor. Leaning against a tree was Frank, aiming his shotgun at the beast on top of her. “Let her go,” he ordered.

The lead wolf stared at him quizzically and burst into laughter; the others followed suit. “You think you can kill us all?” the wolf taunted. “One colt against eight of us?”

“No,” Frank said with a smile. “But I can kill you. Now, unless you’d like me to paint your friends with your fucking brains, you’ll let the mare go.” The smug grin on the leader’s face died away as he realized how screwed he was. Frank had his balls in a vice, and that’s just the way Frank liked it.

“The alicorn is ours!” the sarowolf barked, trying to hide his anxiety. These hairy psychopaths loved causing pain, and knocking the fuckers down a peg was reward enough. Right now, keeping Twilight alive just felt like a bonus.

“No, she’s my alicorn.” Frank cocked the shotgun and aimed down the sight. “So let her fucking go.” Like a good little pup, the sarowolf moved off of Twilight and backed away. Twilight struggled upright and slowly crept to his side with her crown. The wolves growled at her as she moved past them, but a vicious snarl from the leader shut them up quite nicely.

“If any of you follow us,” he finished the sentence with a cock of the shotgun. Son of a bitch; in his attempt to look like a badass, he’d blown his cover.

“That’s the second time you’ve pumped that,” the leader observed.

“…No it isn’t.”

“No casing came out. There aren’t any bullets in that,” he grinned and licked his teeth. Every wolf rose to their full height and motioned toward him. He’d forgotten how tall those freaks could get; they must have been seven feet high.

“Hey, stay where you are!” Frank shouted, trying to sound threatening. “I still have magic!” His heart began to race when they didn’t stop. They weren’t moved at all by his warning. “I swear to God, I will light all of on fire.”

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

“Alright that’s it!” he barked furiously. “You fuckers asked for it!” Frank dropped to all fours and clenched his eyes and sphincter tightly as he concentrated on a spell. His horn glowed a deep blue, followed by his entire body; the magic was coursing through him. He looked and saw the wolves inch away, he saw their unnerved expressions, hell, he even saw one’s legs tremble. Leaves swirled by his hooves, the treetops swayed, and the forest felt as if was his to command.

Frank grit his teeth and unleashed the magical energy from his horn. With a loud pop, a deflated basketball appeared before him and dropped to the ground. The high pitched whine of air leaving the ball summed things up perfectly. “Twilight?” he muttered.

“Run?”

“Run.”

The sarowolves raced at the ponies’ heels, close enough to smell the fright off the alicorn. To change things up, the leader clawed up a large redwood and followed from the trees. From here he could see everything as he swung from one branch to the next. With each grip of a branch, he fantasized he was throttling the unicorn for making him look like a fool. One mighty claw sliced through a branch and he imagined blood spurting from the alicorn as he cut off her leg. By now he was ahead of them and more than ready to make his move.

He leapt from the air and hurled his prey against a tree. When the youngest of his pack rushed to make the first kill, the leader’s jaws clamped down on his muzzle and he scurried back with a whimper. He turned back to the ponies and gripped the alicorn’s horn tightly, ensuring she couldn’t cast any nasty spells. Then, he pressed one foot against the unicorn’s side for leverage, and pulled on his foreleg. Then he’d beat the mare with it, and feed her intestines to the unicorn. He didn’t know what he’d do after that, but the sweetest kills were always improvised.

But the kill would never come, for a booming thunder jarred the pack beyond measure. The ground quaked, trees swayed uneasily with the blast, and far off, many could be heard toppling over. A spectrum of color painted the blue sky, and the sarowolves ran off in fear.

“What the fuck is that?” a deafened Frank shouted.

“A sonic rainboom,” Twilight said triumphantly. Rainbow Dash was close.

“What?” he shouted back. It sounded like she said, “rainboom,” but that wasn’t a word. Before he could ask what a ‘rainboom’ was Twilight was already running in the direction of the blast. Brilliant idea- run toward the explosion. “Twilight!” he shouted after her.

She couldn’t hear him, or maybe she didn’t care. Whatever this thing was, she was dead-set on getting to it; and if he wanted that crown, he’d have no choice but to follow her. Running had never been his specialty, and he was wheezing and heaving as he struggled to keep up. If she’d slow down or stop for second-

“That’ll do,” he told himself as a net swept Twilight into the air. He hobbled under her and leaned against a tree to catch his breath. To his great fortune, her crown had fallen to the floor. This was his chance.

“Frank,” Twilight said hurriedly, “help me down.”

Frank was too tired to move, even for that glorious mass of gold and jewels. “You got magic, get down yourself, ‘princess.’”

“I can’t. There’s something about this net that’s blocking my magic.”

Frank’s breath stopped at the words. She had to be wrong; if not, the sarowolves might’ve been a blessing. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Watch.” Twilight glared at the ropes, but her horn only glowed for a second and died out. “See,” she gasped, “nothing. I’ve never seen anything like this,” she said with fascination.

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit.

He had to get the hell out of here before they found him. The alicorn would have to wait; hell, they’d probably enjoy her company. She’d be fine, but if the Children found him, he’d be praying for a sarowolf. “Gotta’ go Twi,” he said in a panic. Before Twilight could ask what that meant, he grabbed the crown in his mouth and dashed away.

“Frank,” Twilight shouted, “get back here! Frank!” she screeched. “Fraaaaaaank!”