The Hollow Kingdom of Big Macintosh

Exhibit C

Applejack tells Big Macintosh to do this favor for her.

"Rarity needs somepony your size to help her or somethin'. She didn't tell me too much; just said you'd be perfect for it. You don't mind helpin' her, do you?"

"Nnope." He left the farm and walked down towards town. It wasn't a big deal to do this favor for Rarity. There was a time the two were closer before she became friends with Applejack. It wasn't uncommon for him to help out Applejack's friends anyway, seeing as he was the only stallion any of them associated with.

He could help out. If Rarity had asked for his help specifically, he could provide it.

Carousel Boutique is appropriately located on the other side of Ponyville. At least, it seems appropriate to Big Macintosh. He imagined ponies who wanted to visit the boutique wouldn't be interested in seeing the farm, and visa-versa. He could make this assumptions safely, seeing as he was part of the stereotype who would adhere to this notion.

He sees something flying around in the air as he's walking. It is both too far away and moves in such a surreal manner that he cannot identify it. All he knows that it is falling. He is sure of that much. There is something falling from the sky.

He turns his eyes back to the road. On the edge of town, he spots Suave. The stallion's mane is slicked back with so much grease it is a wonder he doesn't burst into flames in the heat. He sits and stares at the sky, no doubt waiting for Big Macintosh.

"Hey, there's my favorite farmer!" Suave runs him down before he gets to the gate, throwing a hoof around the big stallion. "I had a feeling you'd be coming this way today."

"So I see."

"Yeah, it's crazy right?" Suave enjoys pointed jokes. He holds a strong belief that all humor is pain. "Do you need to know your horoscope?"

"Does anypony ever need to know their horoscope?" The pair walk into the town proper. Ponyville is alive like an electric beehive.

"Of course, your horoscope is important," Suave claims. "Before Princess Luna became Nightmare Moon, her horoscope told her any big plans were bound to backfire, but she didn't listen. The stars warned her, Big Macintosh. The stars warned her that she would be trapped on the moon. They tried to help her, but I'm surprised that even after she ignored them they helped her break free of her prison. I'll bet she looks closely at her horoscope now." A pony shouldered past Big Macintosh and Suave, forcing the latter pony to jump all the way out of the way.

"I'm walking here!" Suave yelled, but the trotting pony paid them no mind. "The nerve of some ponies..."

"Eeyup."

"Doesn't he know that Virgos are supposed to take it slow today? Their patience will be rewarded." Suave's confidence on this matter used to surprise Big Macintosh, but he'd learned to trust the stallion's infallible knowledge of the stars.

Thinking about the stars, Big Macintosh turns his eyes skyward again. The thing is still falling. He wonders if it is some weary pegasus or the shattered edge of a cloud. What ever it is, it is a big one.

"You wanna hear your horoscope?"

"Why the big deal with horoscopes?" Big Macintosh once asked Suave as they slowly got drunk by the creek. "It isn't you, Suave."

"It's me now," he said. "Maybe if I'd listened to my horoscopes, things would be different."

"Like, how?"

"I dunno, just different." He killed another flagon of cider. Big Macintosh tried to help him refill it from the cider barrel, but he missed completely and let the alcohol soak the ground below the spigot. Big Macintosh watched as the cider disappeared into the darkened ground and then beyond this dimension. It slid right through time and fell into the neck of a klein bottle to be poured into the mouth of tesseracts. Time hiccuped as it got drunk too.

"C'mon, buddy. Fill 'er up." Suave wiggled his still empty flagon at Big Macintosh. "They won't let me drink, not cider."

"Should've listened to your horoscope." Big Macintosh could make pointed jokes too. Even if it hurt Suave, he appreciated the gesture. With his speech greased up more than his hair, Suave confesses it probably would not have helped anyway.

"Alright, let's hear it," Big Macintosh says. Carousel Boutique grows closer and closer, and soon there won't be any more time to talk with Suave. He clears his throat, ready to recite what he learned in today's paper by heart.

"Libra: stay away from Capricorns; they will offer you happiness that you will gain all too easily."

"Capricorns?"

"Yeah." Capricorns were represented by that goat with a fish's tail. Big Macintosh never understood how anypony ever saw something like that in the stars, and he knew a thing or two about seeing things. "Do you need to know all the Capricorns in town?"

"No, but is Rarity a Capricorn?" Big Macintosh asks.

"No. She's Aquarius: don't turn down any financial opportunities you believe could be lucrative."

"I'll relay that to her." Big Macintosh isn't sure if he is lying or not. He realizes he has no reason or motive to tell her this. He just might be making a joke.

"Yeah, make sure you do," Suave says. "Horoscopes are important, you see. I might've just saved your entire day. It's a good thing I read my own horoscope."

"What'd it say?" Big Macintosh stops in front of Carousel Boutique. Suave does not stop, but he turns and continues down the road towards the edge of town.

"Pisces: everypony appreciates your advice. Make sure to give some today."

Before Big Macintosh walked into the boutique, he looks up at the sky again. Whatever is falling looks alive.