Once upon a time in Twilight Sparkle's library, Spike was eating cyan sapphires when Twilight decided that she would study the magic of darkness tacos. She discovered that the tacos were invented by King Sombra and now at half price!
Suddenly the door burst open. It was Pinkie Pie. She fired her party cannon again shooting cake dough on to Big Mac's huge long black slipper which rather displeased him. Twilight cast a spell to turn the slipper into a giant raving bunny rabbit and the bunny was named Steven. It's how he rolls, so sayeth the lord yo!
Twilight was doing a spell when out of the blue came a letter from Molestia. She read it, which said;
"Dear my... most faithful student,
Your services are required again! Wear some tight clothes and socks. NEVER FORGET THE SOCKS. Come to my private quarters, prepare for unforeseen consequences and dance the Gangnam Style. It'll be secret, but fun.
Expecting your swift arrival, yours truly, supreme autocrat,
Princess Celestia."
Twilight was stunned to silence before royal guards entered, erect.
Then suddenly Twilight woke up, placing her hoof to her haunches as she read on about the magic of tacos. The guards looked expectantly towards her. "But that was a dream!" she spluttered. Or so she thought... when Mr Cheese Grater entered her Giant nuclear powered tree library. He began distributing cheese To all the delighted fillies and young colts alike which annoyed Spike, being a dragon. Twilight said, "Spike... Don't be such a ponce!" as she ate a piece of cheese. Spike mumbled condescendingly to himself. Twilight ignored spike. She then set off to Molestia's castle anticipating the magic that awaits.
But then she woke up. By this time, Twilight was just passing Sugar Cube Corner. Peculiar... she rarely sleep walked. She ate seven bowls of cheese to further annoy Spike, then snorted cheese powder and became blazed. Spike said "fuck this shit" and went to challenge Godzilla to an ultimate showdown in Tokyo. Batpony and Bruce Filly came out of the blue and bitch smacked Spike's face. "You naughty dragon!" they scolded. "Kiss my ass" he responded. The pair stumbled back, aghast. Spike clenched his fist and shoved it up both their chestplate armor before crushing it into 1000 tiny pieces. They snivelled a cry of fear and ran away to the Everfree Forest where they saw many parasprites heading for them and they were eaten alive.
Author's Note
This was written by 20 or more Bronies commenting on a post in the "Anything MLP" Facebook group. Expect plot inconsistency and a near Pinkie Pie level of randomness. This was written 5 words at a time and was never supposed to end up on FimFiction.net! Visit mBrooksBrony on YouTube for a reading! Enjoy! :)
...because 425 Words isn't Enough to Submit on FimFiction.net
Feeling confident he had won, the evil menace decided to keep his distance, for now, as revenge was indeed imminent. Just then, Twilight showed up to punish her rebellious dragon. She wielded a fiery paddle. Spike remembered it too well, while planning to escape punishment. He ate some magic tacos to boost his speed stat before growing giant pegasus wings that would easily embarrass Zapdos. However the tacos were sentient, giving him a wing boner. This turned him into a magical dragon taco that flies.
Twilight couldn't stop him, unless she gave him some GAK. She binned it, and proceeded to calling the U.S.M.C. to send an Apache helicopter with machine guns and missiles. She had a bite of cheese. Spikes rage was over 9000, and so it turned out he had full Dragon armor because Daedric was too mainstream. This Hipster-ism angered the army. Nevertheless, they unleashed a barrage in the direction of the nuclear powered tree library, causing a massive explosion, destroying the facility and exposing Twilight's gigantic, long, black, hot and juicy sweatshop of filly book arrangers.
She was terrified, especially when one of the bodies began to move, twitching like a salmon in sexual acts, because of the radiation caused by Bieber's music. Spike had fled to Fus Ro Dah valley, home of the true Dovah. The Dovah saw Spike and realized his child had returned! He alerted the other dovahs who swiftly took the young dragon to their private quarters. Spike then began to remember Twilight's dream.
Before him stood the dreaded Mr Cheese Grater. It all made sense to him now. Twilight's dream. Her lust for cheese, her gigantic nuclear tree factory. Cheese is notorious to make you dream! She desired to harness the awesome power of dreams with a reality converter, causing ANYTHING the mare dreamed up to manifest in the physical world... and that was her plot.
Spike stood bewildered as Mr Cheese Grater stood over him grating cheese all over, menacingly. Emerging from the shadows, came a manifestation of Rarity. She would save Spike, but had to choose between him and Tom. Before she could decide, a whistle sounded signalling the attack of the fore-mentioned parasprites, returning. Then Gandalf arrived to help, and so did Bilbo Baggins.
Gandalf's staff tuned into a banjo. Only one instrument, but just enough to assist Spike in destroying the Death Star taking the parasprites with it. "It's a trap!" said Gandalf as Tom tackled Spike to the ground despite being inanimate. "Spike, I am your father" revealed Tom, Spike's tail crushed. That instant, the Death Star fired a laser, disintegrating Tom, Spike's armor protecting him from the blaze. Rarity began to cry as she had witnessed her love's eternal demise. Of all the worst things that could happen, this was definitely the most worst possible thing.
Derpy swiftly appeared, donating Rarity one of her fresh muffins, also giving her a letter. Rarity opened it. It read:
"Fuck you. Now my muffin is working its way to your stomach where it'll explode. You must find the antidote. I hope you're happy. The antidote can be found in Cloudsdale. Good luck in flying all the way there.
Signed, Derpy Hooves (Derpy Mail)"
Rarity hadn't eaten the muffin, therefore she was safe! It began to speak a plan. "So we grab the kids, bring Spike, kill Derpy (sorry!), grab a balloon, go to Cloudsdale, drink the nice cold antidote and wait for all this to blow over!" But before the muffin's plan could begin, a giant black wet dog appeared out of no where.
And then Spike woke up.
"WHAT THE BU-"
The End.
Some very special thanks to all that took part in the writing of this fic. It was definitely more fun to write than it will be for the rest of y'all to read!
"JK Rowling and Terry Pratchet can't touch deeez literary skills. Well done bronies."
-David Beeby
Author's Note
This chapter was originally never meant to be. After over 80 comments, we had our FimFic pretty much done. However, FimFiction.net ask a minimum of 1000 words total before a fic can be published. Myself and the Bronies in the "Anything MLP" Facebook Group decided to continue with this fic until the 1000 word benchmark had been reached.
~ mB95
