Absolution

by Tzelael

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Sad, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 4363

Princess Luna's account of Nightmare Moon's rise, banishment, return and defeat.

Princess Luna, upon learning of the confusion of the exact nature of what happened with the Nightmare Moon incident (especially among the common folk and her own Night Watch), has taken it upon herself to record her memory of the events that occurred over one thousand years ago. In the hopes of exposing the truth, she wrote this account for the public to finally see.

[Edited by arcum42, cover image done by me, and special music performed by L, author of "What Might Have Happened to L."]

Published 2013-01-19 17:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-19 17:30:02 UTC

The Testimony of Princess Luna

Absolution: The Testimony of Princess Luna
~Special Accompanying Music~

Princess Luna stood still in the center of a chamber in the Canterlot Castle, a room with a glass, domed ceiling. Moonlight filtered through the glass and faintly illuminated the figure of the Princess. She stared off into space with white, glowing eyes.

One of the bat-winged Night Guards stood by her side. He looked at the Princess, his gray coat and yellow eyes lit up by the moon. Suddenly, Luna stirred, fell to her knees and took a deep breath. He knelt down next to her, concerned for the well-being of his charge.

“Your Majesty! Are you well?”

“I am fine, Waking Vigil. I am merely disoriented.”

“You have not walked amidst the dreams of ponies for quite some time. Are you sure you are up to it?”

“Moving through the dreams of other ponies was taxing in the beginning, but it is not so now.” Luna trotted away from the center of the room, then held her hoof to her head while she heaved a sigh.

“If it is not the dream walking, then what troubles you, my Lady?” The guard walked closer to his charge. Luna sighed, then looked back up at the crescent moon.

“It appears that I– or rather, Nightmare Moon– remain the subject of many of the terrible dreams that the ponies of Equestria suffer through, even long after my attempts to improve my image.”

“Disgraceful!” Vigil spat. “To think that the commoners would dare impune your name still!”

“Calm yourself, guard. They are not to blame.”

“You are right, my liege. It is your sister who bears the responsibility.” Vigil stepped out in front of her and pointed his foreleg roughly toward Princess Celestia’s chamber. “She sat by and did nothing while you were vilified, even after she had the gall to banish you for a thousand years in the–”

“That is quite enough!” Luna stamped on the ground to punctuate her meaning. The guard trembled, then bowed before his Princess in supplication.

“I apologize, your majesty, I meant no disrespect.”

“You meant every disrespect to my sister, Vigil. It is neither proper, nor is it your place to pass judgment on your Princess, be she of the sun or moon.” Luna locked eye contact with the guard. She bore down on him with her overpowering presence. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Absolutely, Princess. But, if I may speak freely...”

“I would appreciate your candor, yes.” Luna turned away and entered the hallway, Waking Vigil following behind.

“It is merely the opinion of the Night Watch that the sentence passed on you was more harsh than necessary, that Celestia sent you away out of pettiness and because she didn’t want to give you what you needed.” The guard took a deep breath and inclined his head respectfully to the Princess. “The common-folk may make you out to be a destructive beast, but we believe we know better.”

“Indeed...” Luna considered what Waking Vigil said. “You do believe you know better.” Her eyes widened as a second revelation came to her.

“And so do the common-folk,” she thought. She picked up her pace, moving towards another part of the castle.

“Vigil! Come with me.” Luna’s canter was enough to outrun the guard for but a few seconds, which forced her attendant to increase his speed in order to keep up.

“Where are you going?”

“I am going to my chamber. You will wait outside until I finish my task.”

“Your task, my liege?” Vigil tilted his head in confusion. “What of your watch over the night?”

“I will resume my duties when my project is complete, and that’s where you come in.” When she stopped at her bedroom door, she halfway entered and continued to give her instructions from the open doorway. “Once I am finished, I will hand you some papers. I want you to make copies of their content and distribute them to both the Night Watch and to every newsprint in Equestria. I want this to reach all eyes that can see and all ears that can hear.”

“If it is my place to ask, Princess, what is it that you’ll be sending out?”

As Vigil spoke, she walked across the room. She sat at a desk next to her bed, then onto it she levitated several blank scrolls, an inkwell, and a quill. Luna turned to the door and focused on the doorknob. The part of the door glowed blue momentarily, though before she shut the door, the Princess responded to the guard’s query–

“The truth.”

****

From the desk of Princess Luna to all Citizens of Equestria.

I have discovered that there is some confusion concerning the nature of my conflict with my sister. The common folk paint me as a monster, whereas the Night Watch makes my sister out to be a spiteful tyrant. The time has come to put both of these misconceptions to rest.

I, Princess Luna of Equestria, Bringer of the Night and Guardian of Dreams, begin this account of the circumstances that led to the birth of Nightmare Moon, my banishment, and my return.

It began over a thousand years ago, after my sister and I defeated the Chaos Spirit, Discord, who had very nearly had my sister in his evil clutches. In his endless attempts to turn us against each other, no doubt for his amusement, he said one thing to me that has haunted my mind since then–

“The trouble with your being the moon to your sister’s sun is that you’ll always be outshone, and you’ll never be chosen over the more splendid light in the sky.”

At the time, I was far too engrossed in our conflict to give heed to his words. Against that monstrosity, Celestia wielded the Elements of Generosity, Kindness and Laughter, whereas I wielded Loyalty, Honesty and Magic. My sister and I had used the newly found Elements to seal him away in stone. When Equestria returned to its normal state, cheers swelled from ponies of all walks of life.

“The Alicorn Sisters have defeated Discord! Long live the Sisters!” they cried out in triumph as we paraded the statue across the land. When news spread of our victory over the Chaos Spirit, even the unicorn nobility caught wind of our deeds. They offered to give both of us the title of “Princess,” the highest title that could be held, given Princess Platinum’s rule over the land in conjunction with the other two tribes. They gave us absolute authority of the celestial bodies.

“Hail Celestia, Princess of the Sun, and hail Luna, Princess of the Night!”

And so their chant went– my elder sister first, myself second.

The first time I heard it, the feeling was wondrous. After years of being viewed as oddities and curiosities, we were now not only acknowledged as ponies like anyone else, but exalted as royalty. How magnificent it had been to be a hero!

“Hail Celestia, Princess of the Sun, and hail Luna, Princess of the Night!”

My sister, the sun, first, and myself second.

In the years that passed, Celestia and I both mastered our control over day and night. Ponies were getting used to the idea of being ruled by two immensely powerful alicorns, and they acknowledged us as kind and wise rulers. But it was always Celestia they spoke of. They almost never spoke of me without prompting from my sister or a more scholarly individual. A common form of address at the beginning of any dialogue with my sister was–

“Princess Celestia, Hero of Equestria,” to which she would inevitably reply,

“Do not forget, citizen, that we did not achieve victory alone. Our sister, Luna, saved us as well.”

During those years, I began to slip into despair. I remembered Discord’s words, that serpent’s speech which had told me that I would always be outshone by her. I could scarcely blame the ponies of Equestria for their reverence.

Celestia was elegant, well-spoken, regal, beautiful and glorious in such a way that no pony could possibly ignore her, not unlike the sun itself. I was the warrior. Somber, serious, perhaps a bit inelegant– it took me years to properly use the Royal Canterlot Voice– and my beauty was obscured by my sister’s.

I confronted her one day. I told her about her radiance, and that the ponies could never love me as much as they loved her. Her reply was this–

“They will appreciate you, sister. The daylight may have the glory of the sun and grants life to the world, but little else. The night, however, shows the true splendor of the cosmos, and makes that life worth living. It reminds ponies that the world is so much bigger and holds so much more than they could ever imagine. It encourages them to seek out mystery, and find wonder in the unknown. Soon enough, they may find wonder in you.”

How I wish I had remembered those words years later.

I was still the warrior. When we decided on our duties, I informed my sister that I wished to continue to fight and protect Equestria from evil as it slept. In these years, I learned how to walk amidst the dreams of other ponies and protect them from the eldritch horrors that plagued them.

It was exhilarating at first. Of course, dream walking was not all I did. On occasion, I’d find vicious creatures in the night and fight them as well, with help from the ponies of the Night Watch. The fantastic conflicts I engaged in left many ponies in disbelief, especially those whose dreams I entered.

“Was it Princess Luna that saved me?” they would ask.

“Nay,” said others, “‘twas but a nightmare.”

Nightmare. I despised that word.

At first, ponies would say that an unpleasant dream where I arrived to save them was “An encounter with the Night-Mare.” A joking euphemism, in the beginning.

Then, as time passed on, all a “Nightmare” meant was the horrors they encountered. Wonder of the unknown was lost on them, and my nights were shunned and avoided.

“Hail Celestia, Princess of the Sun!”

“... And Luna, Princess of the Night.”

In the minds of the ponies, I had become but an afterthought, as my name was in that chant. Ponies outside the Night Watch scarcely remembered who I was without being reminded, and those who did wished they did not– to remember me was to remember their most frightening dreams. They feared the night, and with it they feared me. The words of Discord now pounded into my mind, tormenting me every morning in my sleep.

“You’ll always be outshone, and you’ll never be chosen over the more splendid light in the sky.”

It is strange how some minds will only remember the words that hurt them, and far less often those that comforted them later, but sadly, mine was one of these minds. Those words devoured me from within and caused me to suffer every second of my waking and sleeping moments, as did one other word.

Nightmare.

The word used to refer to their savior, and what they call the ghouls she had slain.

They believed us one and the same.

“Hail Celestia, Princess of the Sun!”

They never even bothered to invoke my name anymore. Celestia had to remind them of my presence, though they simply murmured in response.

I secluded myself, alone with my hatred. I could scarcely bring myself to do my duties, and seldom went on my hunts in dreams. No pony acknowledged them, so what did they matter anymore? Let them have their nightmares. They would only remember them as such regardless of my actions.

My hatred soon came to a boil within me. With ponies such as myself and my sister, our emotions can have a great deal of bearing on our magic. Celestia conducted herself with grace and clarity, and this was seldom an issue for her. For me, the strength of my passions and their power over my magic had been an asset.

I still believed it so, but I now see that this was a mistake when it was my pain that colored my power. My anger, my resentment, my hatred were all I was ever able to think about. These thoughts mingled with so much of my magic that they took form– a presence in my head that used my voice, that spoke thusly:

“If they will only know me as a monster, then they shall have their monster.”

It is at this point that the fault was all mine, that the blame for all that occurred can be placed squarely on my shoulders.

I let the hatred rule me.

I allowed this piece of myself to control me, and had thus surrendered my free will to my basest, most vile impulses.

The day I surrendered to this monstrosity also happened to be on the eve of the longest day of the year, and thus the shortest time I would ever hold dominion over the heavens. On this day, however, I would not yield to my sister.

“Hail Celestia, Princess of the Sun!”

O, hateful cry! Hearing it boiled my very blood! It was the Summer Sun Celebration, when my sister would begin the longest day of the year. She, and all the others who would snatch away my glory, who would steal the love which was rightfully mine, would soon be surprised when their Princess could not lift the sun into the sky! There was one other yet that they would have to answer to.

I committed my defiance against my sister in the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, a dwelling of relatively modest size, though it always caught the moonlight and sunlight in the most wondrous way. My sister, who began the ascension of the sun in Canterlot, made all due haste to find me and see what was wrong. Nothing could have prepared her for what she found when she reached me.

My body had changed, blackened by my hatred, and my eyes were those of a vicious predator. It must have been terrifying to look into them, for the first thing she asked me was:

“What have you done with my sister, wretch?!”

“Have you not heard the voices of the people, Celestia? I am your sister.” I chuckled at her silence. She was no doubt dumbstruck with disbelief. “I am the fiend that chills their nights. I am she that plagues their dreams and raises that pale imitation of the sun into the sky while they shiver in darkness.”

“Luna?” She could scarcely believe this was me, and in a sense, it wasn’t.

“No pony in this land knows me by that name. Listen to how they forget me! Listen to how they speak of the night, and how they speak of their dreams!”

“You are their Princess,” Celestia reminded me, attempting to keep calm despite her terror at seeing me in this way. I, too, would have been horrified at what I became.

“I am Princess Luna no more. I am only what they call me– the Nightmare. They shall see the moon, and they shall see nothing else for eternity. If there is no room for me in their hearts, then I shall take my place in their fears!”

My sister tried to reason with me.

“Luna, if you do not allow for the coming of the sun, the crops will never grow!” Princess Celestia’s voice was tainted with an almost palpable desperation. “The ponies you work so hard to protect will starve!”

“Then,” I spat back in spite. “Sister, will they forget you? If you return to raise the sun, will they denounce you as a monster if they lived in darkness? I think not.”

I would not hear her words. For the longest time, she pleaded with me, begged me to allow for the coming of the dawn. She never once threatened me. It gave me a perverse pleasure, watching the Princess of the Sun groveling on her knees.

I can’t remember how much time passed while she tried to convince me, but at some point, she began to weep. The once elegant, regal and poised Princess Celestia was now a quivering, mewling beggar at my hooves.

The only ecstasy that outdid that of seeing her grovel was the power I felt when I denied her. Do you know what saying “No” to Princess Celestia was like in those days? No pony then did. There were none who could. Now, I, as the Nightmare, was able to say “No” to the glorious Princess of the Sun.

It was most exhilarating.

She left me for a time. I thought she had given up and I began my reign anew. It was then that I truly called myself “Nightmare Moon,” for I believed those two things would be my only legacy. In time, Princess Celestia returned with the Elements of Harmony.

I laughed at the display.

“Oh, Celestia!” I refused to acknowledge her as my sister. “I wondered when you would confront me! However, this is a most toothless threat, as the Elements will do nothing to me, since their use requires both of us!”

I had no idea of the true nature of her plan.

“You are correct, sister–”

“Nightmare Moon,” I corrected her.

“... Nightmare Moon. The Elements cannot be used without both of us. I propose a test.”

I was intrigued by the offer, though I remained skeptical.

“Go on.”

“I realize that you feel as though you have been wronged, and that the whole of Equestria has committed some transgression against you. We will both use the Elements of Harmony, and we will command them to strip whichever of us is in the wrong of their power.”

I chuckled at her proposal. I was so sure that this was something I could not lose. After all, I was driven to this state because I was denied the love and respect that I deserved, so I believed. The elements would certainly rule in my favor. I decided that, since there was no way for me to possibly lose in this confrontation, I would make a revision.

“An interesting idea, Celestia, but allow me to make one modification– rather than simply deprive them of their powers, the one that the Elements deem unworthy shall perish. I shall accept no other terms!”

My sister carefully considered the options. Her hesitation told me that she did not want to see me slain, but she also had to act quickly in order to save Equestria. She agreed to my terms.

The two of us invoked the Elements of Harmony, our thoughts being only “Destroy the Wrong-Doer.” When one uses the Elements, there is a moment of complete synergy with the other bearers. As such, I know this was her only thought. Our wills were one, but it was left to the Elements to discern which of us was correct.

Despite my pains, I had put the lives of countless ponies in jeopardy with my jealousy. The Elements ruled that Celestia was the one whose cause was just. It was then that her eyes glowed white, and from her horn sprung a chromatic beam, identical to the one that had sealed Discord in stone.

In that moment, I was certain I would die.

But in that last moment, Celestia’s thoughts changed.

“Do not kill her!” she shouted. “Merely banish her!”

And so it did. When the beam struck me, I found myself on a barren, gray surface.

The Elements of Harmony had sent me to the moon. The place I had once claimed as one of my only legacies was now my prison.

Many of the Night Guard seem to believe this punishment was excessive, and that being trapped here for a thousand years was an act of cruelty on my sister’s part. However, I found that my imprisonment gave me much-needed time to reflect. It allowed me to have, for the first time in several years, something that I had lacked. In my solitude, I finally regained that which I lost during my fall...

Clarity.

Nightmare Moon held power over my body still, and cursed my sister every moment she could for casting her out. I realized, though, that she could have easily killed me, but instead chose to send me away. I knew it was an act of mercy, not of cruelty, and the monolithic will of the nightmare diminished with that disparity. The personas of Nightmare Moon and of myself became more and more distant from one another.

During that time on the moon, I tried to fight my Nightmare, as I had done for others in ages past, but this was a monster of my own creation. I found it far more difficult to overcome my hatred than to slay another pony’s terrors. We were engaged in a battle of wills for centuries, until it became clear that my jealousy incarnate was far too strong for me to overcome.

So, instead of fighting, I waited.

I led her to believe that I had submitted to her will. I waited patiently for centuries, as did she. We both contemplated, schemed and planned, but while Nightmare Moon plotted her revenge and her reign of terror, I devised a way to eventually expunge her from my body.

It may have been impossible when Celestia banished me since our wills were one, but now that Nightmare Moon and I were entirely separate personalities, it may now be feasible, provided that other bearers of the Elements of Harmony could be found.

I was certain my sister felt the same way.

A thousand years passed. The longest day of the year came, and it was then that Nightmare Moon bent the stars’ power and used them to transport us back into Equestria. She used her power to prevent the rising of the sun, and made her famous proclamation that the night would last forever.

She quickly discovered that her powers were greatly drained from her return from the moon and her efforts to halt the sunrise– or so I led her to believe. Celestia seemed to already be aware of her return, and thus didn’t bother raising the sun until she was defeated. Nightmare Moon quickly realized that the Elements of Harmony could be used to thwart her again. Thus, she followed Twilight Sparkle, the one pony who realized who she was, and also the only one who knew how she was defeated.

When Twilight and her five compatriots headed into the Everfree Forest, there was no doubt in my mind that they also sought the Elements. Nightmare Moon would undoubtedly attempt to stop them, so from within, I put my own plan into action.

I subtly influenced her thoughts, so that each attempt to destroy the six friends was done in such a way as to expose their connection to one of the Elements. The attempts were made in such a clear-cut manner that the one who would bear the Element of Magic would be able to easily discern the others’ affinity to their appropriate element.

Eventually, the time came when they found us and used the Elements to destroy Nightmare Moon. However, when they did so, I felt the most peculiar sensation– I regained control of my body, and the voices of hatred and jealousy had disappeared.

My sister returned to me, and my momentary satisfaction was replaced with sorrow for what I must have put her through. I could only tell her that I was sorry. I should not have ever let this happen.

It was all my fault.

I was prepared for punishment. I deserved it, and having my body back from my inner demon was all I had wanted. Of course, as my sister is wont to do, she did something unexpected. Something that, given my actions, what I said to her, what I did, I had never thought she would ever do.

She forgave me.

She absolved me of my transgressions and asked me to rule by her side once more. I was more than happy to accept. My joy was unmatched by any I ever felt before at once again being at my sister’s side.

A great celebration was held in honor of my return, and in honor of the triumph of the new bearers of the Elements of Harmony. However, I found that while it was enjoyable, it felt wholly inappropriate. I nearly destroyed the world as they knew it, and now they were celebrating with me.

Celestia was overjoyed to have me back again, but I told her I required solitude, and needed to rethink my life. Celestia was always respectful of my privacy and my more serious demeanor. I had always found the parties and diversions she engaged herself in to be too frivolous for my taste. After a great deal of contemplation and weaving the night sky on my own, I began to once more go out into the world.

I had some difficulty adjusting to this new era. My efforts concerning Nightmare Night were especially troublesome. However, with the aid of Twilight Sparkle and her friends, I eventually found it far easier to be among other ponies once more.

I now write this account for all who may have wondered what may have happened all those years ago, and wanted to know for yourselves. To those of you among the Night Watch, I ask that you forgive Princess Celestia– she did what she could, and I gave her little choice in the matter. I do not pretend I was innocent, nor do I blame my sister for what she did.

I have made my share of mistakes. I can only ask that you find it in you to forgive me. Perhaps, next time you meet me in your dreams, or gaze at the mysterious splendor of the night sky, I hope you’ll call out–

“Hail Luna, Princess of the Night!”

Author's Note

Story edited by arcum42. The beautiful song was written and performed by L.