What's amnesia?

by MachoMagician

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 2717

I learned lots of stuff today. I learned that I caught some disease called amnesia, I think I got t in a wreck. Whatever that is. I finally finished that picture I've apparently been making, don't know who's on the rock though.

I've read some of the other stories where the main character gets amnesia. For some reason they retain all of their vocabulary, and mysteriously know their name. Now I've put my pen down to fix this recurring and now borin problem. Hilarity ensues is getting annoying now too. Thought I should poke that bear.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-11 05:39:02 UTC

Chapter 2, Mapping out a plan.

     I was discharged that day by a colt with green hair, that weird green, not the bright vibrant one. He constantly glanced around and kept grumbling about watching loons and crazy ponies. I wasn't offended. He must've been referring to the patient next door to me. I thought about her, nice mare. We always had good conversations, but each night, around three a.m. I hear wolves howling in her room. Whenever they check on her there isn't a wolf to be found. I think it's her. No one else does. Heck, they think I'm the crazy guy. "There we go. All your paperwork is filled out, you can leave." He said gruffly.

"My pleasure!" I yelled back happily as I raced through the double doors.

The sunlight was amazing! It was much warmer than the hospital, much brighter too. This wasn't my first time in the wondrous light of the sun. I've been in the sun most of my life, you just don't realize that you can miss the little things In life.

Alright let's get serious, I need a good solid plan for what's next. A job? Sure, why not. I'll need money, plus I could learn some new things.Just to forget about it tomorrow for a random period of time. I Thought to myself.

Where would editorials...editorials? What were those again. I'll just have to look up jobs in the local newspaper.

"Are you going to leave sir, or will you just stand there?" A voice said behind me. I whipped my head around to the speaker, appalled at what he said. To my surprise, I was still in the doorway. "Just thinking about where newspapers can be found." I replied. "Try the market." He grumbled back, shutting the door. I started on my way before realizing. What's a market? Isn't that a colored pen? I was still walking along as I was thinking this and bumped into a yellow pegasus. She and I yelped in surprise and she dropped a large box full of strange supplies, dog food, bird feed. Even reptile pellets! Does she work at the zoo? Zoo, that's a fun word. Still, all of it spilled to the ground in a big heaping mess. "I am so sorry ma'am, it's my fault. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." I replied quickly. "That's okay, it's my fault." She replied quietly as she cleaned up the mess. I started to help her clean it up and replied, "It's not your fault. If you sued for this, my end of the case would only support the fact that its my fault. Yours would too." She then looked at me funny, I read alot of mystery novels in the hospital. He Thanked me, and was on her marry way. "Ma'am, do you know of any job offerings available in town." I yelled to her. She turned her head back in reply, she said something. Must've been too quiet to hear. I then walked to the nearest pony and asked him, "Where can I get a newspaper?" The colt looked at me funny and inquired if I was new in town. I told him I wasn't. This earned me an even stranger look than before. He pointed off towards a bunch of open shops in an alley.  "So, That's a market!." I shouted.

"Thanks mister." I said as I shook his hand. The guy still let staring at me funny. Now that I think of it, a lot of people have been looking at me funny today. Do I look funny? No, I'm pretty sure I'm incredibly handsome. They're probably not used to seeing a man as beautiful as me.

As I pondered this, I almost nearly tripped over a stand. The owner yelled at me, but I was lost in thought. Then I saw the paper, grabbed it, and read it. "Hey, that'll cost a few bits." A colt exclaimed. Alright, let's smooth talk this. Silver tongue. "I'm just reading it for job listings!" I nervously stammered. I'm terrible under pressure. "Banana Hammock!" I shouted running away. "Weirdo." The colt replied. Awesome, it worked. I guess I can read and speak. I usually ended saying aloud what I was reading most of the time. Now if I remember right, "Great organizer needed, must be able to sweep, dust and know how to remove ink stains. Go to Ponyville's local library and ask for Twilight Sparkle." I spun around, looking for a library. I asked a passing mare, "So you know where the local library is?" She pointed off to a tree, and continued in her way. A tree, really? That can't be a library. As I walked towards it I realized all the home like features jutting out of the tree. I knocked on the door, and a small purple reptile opened the door. "Are you Twilight Sparkle?" I asked. He responded, "No." Then shut the door. I heard yelling, a female. The door reopened, this time a mare was there to greet me. "Are you Twilight Sparkle?" I asked again. "Yes, are you here for the job opening?" She responded. "Why yes, yes I am." I proudly stated. She then noticed my horn and inquired, "Do you know any spells?" I balked as she said this, "Uh...No, I'm not too sure actually."

Chapter 3:Winging it.

     I stepped inside her abode. Thats when I noticed the shine. Everything, the floors, ceiling, any and every nook and cranny was clean.  I gulped, there is no way I can clean that well. She broke the ice by asking,"Do you want to learn any spells?" I turned to her thanking....oh never mind, but still, I was happy she didn't know I was atrocious at cleaning. With a nod I responded, "That'd be great. They don't let people with mental trauma use spells at the hospital." She just stared at me quizzically. "Oh, I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I was hospitalized by a wreck and diagnosed with amnesia. I used to forget nearly everything I learned one day on the next, but I healed. Now it's only very slight chances of forgetting more than an hour or so." I explained, taking a deep breath. Well, at least I tried for a job. I started towards the door until her next comment almost made me break my neck as it swiveled around fast enough to beat a galloping pony. "Where are you going, don't you want a job?" I stared at her, she would still accept me as able bodied? "I just assumed my medical history would turn you down."

"Heavens no, that's all it is, history." Her reply made me smile, my first day discharged and I landed a job. "I thank you, I will ensure your library is sparkling for your generosity." She blushed at my statement, the little green dragon glared daggers at me. She then asked, "What's your name?" This question stumped me, think, I had a nickname. What was it? "I remember now!" I shouted aloud. Twilight shrunk back as I yelled, well I guess she'll just have to get used to it. "Sorry, I just remembered my nickname. It's Patience." Twilight recovered from my shout and responded, "It is great to meet you Patience. How did you earn that as a nickname?"

"I was in the mental trauma center for most of my hospitalization, it's what all the crazy people called me." This earned me a laugh from the purple unicorn and lizard alike. I didnt know what was so funny, but I decided to laugh along. Twilight turned to me and with a frown, stated, " Now I know first impressions are important, but did you really have to dress up as an alicorn?" I simply stared at her. "What do you mean?"

She said, "This." and gave my wings a large tug. "OUCH, They're Real!" I screamed.

She jumped back as if I was some strange animal. "I didn't know that was what an alicorn was, they caled me that at he hospital. I just assumed it was a medical term." I said rubbing my wings. "Her eyes grew wide and she immeadiatly apologized.

The green dragon laughed and said, "Maybe his horns fake." He walked over and gave my horn a huge tug, "Ow!" I swatted his hand aside. "My bad." He replied. Twilight scolded Spike and demanded I flap my wings. I flapped my wings, she checked for invisible rope, felt that they were legitimate and called for Spike. "Spike, I need to send a letter to the Pincess.

The small dragon must be a scribe, it would explain all the boo- "Twilight, how do you spell it ,utter or udder importance?"

Maybe not.

After another minute or two of writing all she said, he rolled the scroll up, put a seal on it, and burned  it. Wait...BURNED IT!

"What are you doing!" I cried, "That was a perfectly good scroll, the message seemed fine!" Twilight looked at spike then to me and laughed, "That's how we transport my letters, it's magic, not senseless burning." "How does that work!" I asked. She brought out ambook from he shelf and began reading from it. It felt like half an hour before she finished, I could barely digest all the information though. I just nodded.

Three sharp knocks rang throughout the house, "Oh my, I must've burned the time, Coming!"

The knocks woke me up and then I saw them. By goly, they looked TOUGH. They could've thrown me twenty feet, I wouldn't have been able to do anything back either. They were all clad in golden armor. Head to toe. I mentally took note that there joints were very vulnerable, now that I though about it, their whole legs were vulnerable. Not very smart, but I guess it adds flexibility. The small dragon then piped in, "Shouldn't we grab the whole crew?" Twilight nodded and requested that the guards immediately make stops at all of her friends locations. Why would she need her friends? I decided to ask her on the way to our first destination. She decided to tell me the entire story of events that happened last year. "Celestia sounds mean." I stated. Twilight, Spike, and all three of the guards stared at me. "She banished her sister to the moon for one thousand year and then told her to apologize." "That, in my opinion, is mean." They all continued to stare at me, apparently baffled day my reply. They seemed to be at a loss of words too. It got awkward sink just stared at the landscape below, that's when something caught my attention. "Hey carriage flying guard dudes?" I asked. They both responded with a gruff "Yes"

"Why do you gallop while flying?"

They both pondered this question until they both came up with an answer that seemed reasonable. "We'd look foolish with our legs dangling."

I was going to return a smart reply, but thought not. They fly the thing, they can certainly pull it over.

Chapter 4:(Friend)ly greetings

     The first house we arrived at almost seemed comical. It was a gingerbread house, how has it not wasted away to nothing? Animals would surely factor in too. Oh well, I'll take a bite and find out. All of us(minus the guards) exited the carriage and arrived at the chocolate doorstep. I read the mat, and walked in. Appalled at my actions, Twilight immeadiatly commented, "What are you doing patience?" Not understanding Twilight's worry, I responded. "The door mat said welcome." It made sense...right? "No patience, you don't just waltz in, you knock first." With that she gave four sharp raps in the door. A voice from inside replied, "Oh, Hi Twilight" the voice sounded zippy, zippy...sure. Why not. I'll learn the definition later. How'd she know it was twilight though? The door burst open and I yelped. "You didn't tell me a new pony was in town!" She practically screamed. "Pinkie, now isn't the time, meet Patience. Patience, meet Pinkie Pie. Now lets go." Twilight stated. Where'd she come from, h-how'd she know I was here? What's going on! I bet I looked stupid, I didn't say a word, just stared. Her next statement aggravated me. "Nice fake wings."

          Luckily Twilight Semi-rushed to my aid and stated that I was ANOTHER alicorn that should immeadiatly be reported to the princesses. Her statement sparked a question in me, "Twilight, You're an alicorn. Is flying a learned trait or is it instinctive?"My statement then sparked another question, "What are learned and instinctive traits?" Twilight happily explained in almost exact dictionary definition. With a smile she then moved on to my first question, took a breath..., and balked. I laughed...hard...offensively hard. Twilight took offense to this and looked at me. Oh man did that make me feel bad. It was that kinda stare that someone would give you if you kicked a puppy with a boulder. I had no idea why that was so funny, I just started laughing. I could see the guards taking mild amusement from the scolding I know would be coming. Here it comes...oh man...

          "Why..." Was all Twilight could say before bursting Into tears, Pinkie too, and the Guards!

Why are they crying? "Why are you crying!" I yelled aloud. No one responded, they all just kept sobbing.

I decided to wait it out. Five, ten, fifteen minutes passed before I was fed up. I walked to one of the guards, placed both hoofs on his shoulders, and shook like mad! The guard still sobbed like he just started, I finally snapped and gave him a well placed smack to the jaw. He doubled over and came to, slowly he steadied himself and asked what was going on. "Everypony won't stop friggin' crying!" I couldn't help but shout. The guard recoiled at my very loud statement and asked what he could do.

Chapter 1, something new

"This is wonderful!" Exclaimed a mysterious yet somewhat familiar voice. The beautiful mare turned her lovely face towards me."It was like, four hundred bits, all worth it." Said... Hey I know that voice! It's...its, I can't remember anymore.Thats funny, I was so sure I knew who it was. Must've slipped my mind. Just then, a blinding white light startled m awake. It kept making me blink and squint whenever i looked at it. Then I said aloud,"Why do my eyes hurt?"

Another feminine voice replied,"They're adjusting to the light in the room."

" Oh yeah, I forgot." I replied. She seemed to scribble something down on a pad as I stated this. Why does she seem familiar? Everything seemed to rush back to him, memories feelings, all of it. No...most of it.

"I remember now, Redheart, how long was it before I remembered?" I asked, dying to know.

"Three minutes, twenty seconds. More or less." She happily said to me, for unknown reasons.

Awesome, a new record. I am improving.

"Remember anything new this time around?" Redheart asked.

"Not really, I can now remember that I've always had a horn this time." I replied.

She then scribbled furiously, I think the pencils here deserve a raise.

"I think your ready." She said. She smiled furiously, she was as happy as I was. I was ecstatic, a year, trapped in bed. Now I can finally go explore the world, like I always dreamed...I never dreamed that. Did I? I did, I do remember! "Nurse Redheart, I remember something new!" I exclaimed

She had a very surprised  look on her face, she turned to me and replied,"That's wonderful dear, mind telling me what it is?"

"I just remembered that I liked traveling!" I yelled, this day was better and better! She then again proceeded to scribble down on that note pad. How much could she put on a piece of paper? "I think you are ready for discharge, you're starting to remember things on your own now." She happily replied. Nothing was more frustrating than him, nothing. Every morning for the past year, this. Now finally, it's over.

"Nurse Redheart, are you excited over something?" I inquired, she was practically beaming.

"Nothing, nothing at all." She lied, her smile seemed to grow larger at his question.