Epic Pony Tag Battles of Equestria

by GetJinxed

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Changelings, Original Character, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random
Length: 2091

when Vinyl Scratch moves and Fluttershy becomes a vet, how are the citizens of Ponyville supposed to solve their problems now? luckily, our favorite unicorn sisters are on it! can they take the rap battles to new levels?

when Ponyville's own DJ PON3 moves to Manehatten and Fluttershy becomes a vet, the citizens of Ponyville are at a loss: now who's going to DJ their rap battles? Luckily our favorite unicorn sisters take up the turntables. Can they handle the challenge? Will they take the battles to new levels? Hilarity and odd situations pop up as familiar faces come back, but with odd personalities. Can Rarity and Sweetie Belle handle it? Will they
leave this challenge with sanity intact? Will Sweetie Belle finally get a cutie mark? find out!
first fic. asked the creator of the Epic Rap Battles of MLP if I could do this. there are some similarities, but I did make changes. enjoy! voting system and who appears in future chapters is the same though.

Published 2013-01-10 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-16 20:25:27 UTC

Tag battle #1

The celestial body that was the sun  rose greeting the new day and all in it, which included a very angry fashionista and her marefriend.

"This is simply dreadful! Whatever am I going to do? How in Celestia's name am I going to finish this dress now!" screams Rarity.

"Cheer up Rare, I'll help you." says Pinkie Pie. Pinkie walks over to the stand and holds a postion.

"I'll be your model for today, if you don't mind."

"Thank you Pinkie dear, you are too kind to me." Rarity says as she plants a kiss on the pink mare's lips. It seemed it was going to be a peaceful day. However it seemed fate had other plans.

Thump Thump Thump went the great oak door on the boutique. "I'll get it Marshmallow." says Pinkie as she hops over to the door.

"I'm not a marshmallow!" exclaims Rarity.

The door opens to reveal 4 angry ponies: 2 alicorns, a lavender unicorn, and the Changeling queen? They begin to argue amongst themselves.

"STOP IT! I AM TRYING TO WORK IN HERE!" screams Rarity as she stomps to the door. "What in Celestia's name, pardon the language Princess, could you four  be arguing about this early in the morning?"

Twilight speaks up," Princess Celestia broke Luna's new game, Halo 4, Chrysalis burned down half of my library, Luna dumped glue on Chrysalis, and I cut Celestia's mane."

"Thou will pay for breaking my game." says Luna.

"Luna, it was an accident. I'm sorry." says an apologetic Celestia.

Chrysalis rolls on the floor laughing." You two are hilarious, but not as funny as when i burned down the library." she says.

"Why you dirty bug!" exclaims Twilight. The four being to argue again.

"QUIET!" screams Pinkie Pie, surprising everypony.

"Thank you Pinkie dearest. Now what do you four want me to do about it? How are you going to solve this?" asks Rarity.

Luna speaks up." We were wondering if thou knew the location of Vinyl Scratch or Fluttershy. We were going to settle this with a tag team rap battle, but we can't find them."

"OOOOOOH I KNOW! Vinyl moved to Manehatten and Fluttershy is a vet now, so the can't be your DJ's." explains Pinkie Pie.

"That's too bad, now what are you four going to do?" asks Rarity.

The other 5 mares stare at Rarity and smile at her.

"Oh no you don't, I will not be your D-" she begins but is interrupted by Twilight's sudden teleportation spell. They arrive in town square with a crowd already gathered.

Rarity sighs."Oh dear, since we are here now, might as well do it." she says as she puts on a microphone headset and turns on the turntables.

EPIC PONT TAG BATTLES OF EUQESTRIA!

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

and

PRINCESS LUNA

vs.

PRINCESS CELESTIA

and

QUEEN CHRYSALIS

BEGIN!

Silly little mare,

think you have this battle won?

HA! you'll wish you were never born

once i get done

I'm the Queen!  *Changelings cheer*

Of the entire Changeling Hive! The Changelings cheer again

You Twilight Sparkle?

Your just lucky to be alive

First of all Queen Chrysalis

it's you're not your

and i'm as good at rap

as Rarity is at decor

So what if you're a queen?

I'm the Element of Magic!

when your Changelings hear of your defeat,

it will surely be tragic

How dare you insult me!

I am your Queen!

Stallions gaze at me and think

she's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen

You? Beautiful?

Ha! Surely you jest!

Now i'll let Luna

put you to rest

What is this?

Can't fight your own fights?

Ha! That is funny

You really are the sorriest of sights

You think you are smart,

but really you are insane

You have as much brainpower,

as that there windowpane

Thy must be joking

You defeat us?

When Twilight and I rap,

we are a force most dangerous

When we are finished with you, you'll wonder

Why did I even bother?

I'm through with you

Word to thy mother

I won't win alone, that much is true

But I brought the best in Equestria

So get ready everypony,

for Princess Celestia!

Hello there Lulu

I have missed you so

Today I'm here,

to put on a show

You think you can beat me dear sister?

Go back to your videogame

When it comes to rapping,

you are just lame

SHUT THY MOUTH!

Surely you are insane

When you rap, dear sister, windows break

When I rap, I make it rain!

I'll let Twilight finish this battle.

She is the best rapper around!

Her raps are so good,

you'll be buried in the ground!

Hello Twilight, how are you?

Here today to rap against me?

I'm going to warn you once,

many have tried and none found it easy

Oh I know that Princess Celestia

I've been taking lessons from Luna

Brace yourself Teacher

FUS-RO-DAH!!!

OOF!

Such a powerful voice

But I have won this battle

So now let's rejoice

Don't be mad, my faithful student

you can't win at everything

But you went against me

What were you even thinking?

One moment Celestia,

I'm not done with you yet

I'm going to tell you something

you shouldn't soon forget

It is common sense that Luna and I have one

I know this down t omy last ligament

Now leave me alone

before i perform and "experiment"

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

IT'S UP TO YOU DARLINGS.

EPIC PONY TAG BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!

Pinkie Pie, who was missing the entire time, jumps out of a potted plant nearby and says,

Yay! The battle is done!

Now i have a yummy rhyme!

Come on everypony,

IT'S CUPCAKE EATING TIME!

1-on-1 battle #1

   "Are you sure you want to do this Sis?" asks Sweetie Belle as she holds the branding iron over her sisters chest.

     "Do it Sweeti." says Rarity.

"Ok." says the small mare as she levitates the iron towards her sisters chest. Before it touches, loud crashes are heard.

     "MY BOUTIQUE! UNTIE ME!" screams Rarity as she tears out of the ropes. She goes upstairs and sees her store in ruins and her marefriend, whose appearance has turned darker and flat maned, fighting with "Fluttershy?" says Rarity.

"Rarity it isn't Flutterhy." says Pinkie.

"I go by Murdershy now. She broke my chainsaw!" says Murdershy.

"Only because you destroyed my cupcakes!" screams Pinkie as she tackles the yellow pegasus.

"Nopony likes your meatcakes you imbecile!" says Mudershy

"TAKE THAT BACK YOU B-" Pinkie starts but is interrupted as both she and Murdershy are gagged by Rarity.

"I will not tolerate such vulgar language. Now, when I ungag you, we will settle this like ladies. With a rap battle DJ'd by me, DJ MOMM3." says Rarity using the name she gave herself. "And Pinkie? You are sleeping on the couch tonight."

15 min later the town is gathered, the turntables are on and the combatants are ready.

"Ok, ready dears?" asks Rarity. THhe two mares nod their head. "Good. Now than"

            EPIC PONY TAG BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!

       PINKAMENA

       VS

       MURDERSHY

       BEGIN

Now, now, my very naive friend,

go home M urdershy

We all know there is room for only 1

and that's me: Pinkamena Diane Pie

'cause when it comes to killing

there is nonebetter than me

You should know this

Haven't I killed you a time or 3?

No, you have mistaken

You've killed one who looks like me

Everywhere I go,

I leave a bloody sea!

You say you are best at death?

Come on now, murder's my name

and when it comes to death,

killing ponies is my game

You think this is a game?

To me, it's a way of life

Leave this place now,

before I end yours with my knife

Oh the beauty of dull threats

they are as dull as your color

And we all know what happens

down in your cellar

UGH! I've had it with you

For Celestia's sake, shut up!

Leave now Murdershy

before I drink your blood from a cup!

I'm an internet sensation!

You're some idiots dream!

OOOOh I'm going to enjoy killing you.

I want to hear you scream!

You kill me? That's funny.

I'm part of a mini-series.

as for you Pinkie?

You call your "dolls" dearies.

Maybe was right, your father

when he locked you in tha shed.

No, he is right

you are better off dead

        WHO WON?

        WHO'S NEXT?

        IT'S UP TO YOU DEARS

        EPIC PONY TAG BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!

Pinkie's Plans

"Oh I hope this works Twilight." says Pinkie Pie. "Rarity seemed kind of mad after I stormed off after the battle with Murdershy. I hope she doesn't hate me now."

"Pinkie, I don't see how she could hate you. Hating you is scientifically impossible." explains Twilight as she hovers a pink diamond towards her. "I think that this should suffice for what you have in mind."

"Thank you! How can I repay you?" asks the jumping and giddy pony. "Name it and I will do it for you!"

"Well, there is this one little thing: see what I do here isn't exactly legal, so can you take care of this detective that has been following me? Make sure she never finds out." says Twilight.

"Ok! What does he look like?" asks Pinkie. Twilight hands her a picture and Pinkie immediately drops it. "NO! I won't do it!" she yells.

"Why not? The detective's name is Clue Finder, why is that a problem?" asks Twilight.

"Because that's my sister Blinkie! She left to join the Manehatten detective agency a few years ago, and she said that she changed her name! I will not kill my sister!" she says as she slaps Twilight. "If my sister goes missing, you are going into my next batch of cupcakes." Pinkie says before she leaves the dark lab.

"Great, a chance to rid myself of an annoyance, and she walks out of the door. Now how am I going to get rid of that pest of a detective!" says Twilight, thinking aloud.

"I can help you with that." says a demonic, yet familiar voice. "I can help you solve all of your problems."

"Who's there? Show yourself!" Twilight yells as she turns and faces the voice, only to be met by darkness. She suddenly feels a tap on her shoulder.

"Hello Twilight. My name is Demon Pie. I come from another dimension in which Pinkie goes to Tartarus for her 'cupcakes'. And I'm not to happy about it. So I spend my eternity helping others with their problems so I may have a chance as salvation. Now, what can I do for you?" says the pony.

Twilight turns and sees a pony that looks like Pinkie Pie. Except this pony is red, has 2 devil's horns, and a devil tail instead of a poofy one. "H-How do you know my name?" she asks.

"You think I wouldn't research the new world I am going to? And HELLO! My world has a Twilight too! Ugh! The ignorance of these ponies!" says Demon Pie.

"How are you even here? I thought demons couldn't be brought out unless they were summoned." says Twilight

"That's just a myth that angels spread around. We demons pretty much can go anywhere we want to anytime we feels like it." says Demon Pie.

"Angels? They are real too?" asks Twilight.

"What do you really think Celestia is? An alicorn? Come on now think of the coincedences here: pure white color, WINGS, wears golden armor all the time. Classic characteristics of an angel. Now than, what can I do for you?" says Demon Pie

"Now that you mention it, the coincedences are too common there. Anyways, I have a pesky detective I need taken care of. But it needs to look like an accident and Pinkie has to be there. Can you do this?" asks Twilight.

"Can I do that? Pfft! Childsplay! It'll be easy for me to do that. Now than, what do I get in return?" asks Demon Pie.

"If you do this and let me study your bodies compostion, I can unlock greater potential within you, giving you more power." says Twilight.

"More power for a killing and some samples? Deal." says Demon Pie as she extends a hoof.

"It's glad to be working with you Demon." says Twilight as she shakes Demon's hoof.

"Yes it is." says Demon Pie as Twilight's body is engulfed in a red aura. "Yes it is."