Reactions May Vary

by Namara

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 5355

So the Great and Powerful Trixie (or the Great and Humble Trixie!) wakes up one fine morning a few weeks after the Alicorn Amulet incident and finds more than a little stress on her shoulders. (Magical Mystery Cure AU)

So the Great and Powerful Trixie (or the Great and Humble Trixie!) wakes up one fine morning a few weeks after the Alicorn Amulet incident and finds more than a little stress on her shoulders.
Armed with her disk jockey roommate, she heads to Ponyville to see if her rival can reverse her afflition.
(Magical Mystery Cure AU)

Inspired by the overwhelming amount of Twilight-alicorn fics and lack of Trixiecorn. Oh, and the song Magic by the Living Tombstone feat. Lauren G.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-27 23:22:24 UTC

Trixie, revised

"So you're telling me you wore some mystical necklace that gave you powers beyond your wildest dreams and turn you evil?"

Trixie nodded. "Yes. Trixie obviously saw through Twilight Sparkle's plot and just was..." she waved a hoof. "Too lenient. And she isn't evil anymore. She is not wearing the Alicorn Amulet."

Vinyl Scratch snorted at the word 'plot'. "Really? What did it look like, the plot?"

"It was rather complicated, if you ask Trixie. Why do you ask her?" Trixie asked, puzzled by the immature mare.

Vinyl rubbed her forehead. "You don't get it, do you?" she started laughing in disbelief when Trixie shook her head.

"Why do you laugh at her? Stop this at once!" Trixie barked.

"Trixie, a plot is an as- posterior. When a stallion's talking about how they stay with their marefriend for the plot, it means-" she stopped midspeech. "I can't believe I'm having this talk with you," she muttered. She cleared her throat. "Well, let's just leave that conversation at that. So... how 'bout them Piggers?" She swung an arm to emphasize.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie does not have time for such foolishness such as hoofball."

"That creepy guy who followed you liked the Piggers."

"Who? Oh right, that Sethisto fellow was a... slightly unorthodox fan," Trixie admitted. "I- She supposes that his newspaper photographs were a bit startling."

"Trix, the restraining order was the right thing to do." Vinyl reassured her. Her eyes wandered to the clock over the mantle. "Gak, I'm late!" she leaped up from her lounging position on the pleather recliner. She wrapped her 'wicked cool shades' in a magical aura and donned them over her crimson eyes. "Later, Trixie! Don't invite strange stallions in without me!" she called and slammed the door behind her.

Trixie sighed. This had been the fifth time she had told her roommate about the Alicorn Amulet and somehow she always forgot. Every. Celestia-blessed. Time. At least now she got some peace and quiet now that the loud disk jockey had left. She never had gotten what that mare had seen in her 'wubs' and 'bass drops'. But under her alias, DJ P0N-3 had become a sensation in nightclubs across Canterlot. When she cranked up the 'wubstep' or whatever she called it, young ponies cheered and converged in masses before her almighty speakers. She was a god, ready to smite the unworthy with her bass cannon. Something Trixie had longed her entire life for, only to have it stripped away by her roommate and best friend. It cut her deeply when Vinyl came home, electric and alive with the night's story. Whether it was a massive bust for underage drinking or a fight had broken out among the ranks of the dancing, Trixie wilted a little more inside. When Vinyl asked her what she did that day, Trixie would always reply the same thing: earned some tips in the Canterlot Plaza. Ate some salad. Vinyl would just shrug and say 'That's cool' and go back to fixing whatever snack food was for breakfast that day.

Thinking of this, Trixie suddenly became very tired. Sleep could block the rogue thoughts out and hopefully revive her sense of purpose. Yes, closing her eyes was very appetizing right now. Trixie just had to write the day's event in her journal before the fatigue overcame her.

She lit her horn and it took on a lavender hue as it called over a quill and her notebook.

3/14

Trixie performed the mustache spell on a bald stallion today. One appeared, but upon seeing it gray, he demanded his money back. "You can't change age," she said boldly and totally not cowering on the ground. He raised a hoof as if to hit her when a green pegasus rushed to his side, urging him to not hurt Trixie; a pretty face like his can't go to prison. He brightened up.

"I was just messing with... an old friend. Yeah, ain't that right, Shimmer?

'Shimmer' nodded curtly and the pair walked away, apparently chatting. Trixie was relieved that the brute had left.

She told Vinyl about the Amulet again at night. Vinyl had to leave for her DJing. I wonder if I Trixie will be adored like that one day.

So tired.

Trixie thinks she might be under the weather a bit. Magicae Influenza had been going around lately.

So tired. Trixie thinks she might sleep now.

Trixie set the quill down on the stained coffee table. She couldn't keep her eyes focused on the words anymore, every time she would try, they would swim back out the opposite way. Trixie sighed and returned the journal to the bookshelf and the quill to the junk drawer. She contemplated going to her bedroom three doors down the hall, but decided against it. So tired... yes, the couch looked nice. All she needs is the fleece blanket and it'll be fine. It'll all be okay.

All be okay.

Those three words sent chills down her spine and temporarily chased to drowsiness away as a pale yellow face flashed, unbidden, into her mind. Get out! Trixie thought viciously and recalled a song by an earth pony named Octavia composed. I can't see you! She hummed the song loudly until the face was completely tuned out. Yes, finally she's gone. Her eyes drooped and she literally sagged beneath the weight of fatigue crashing down upon her, stronger than before. The couch was starting to look like a cloud in terms of comfort. Trixie made it over and collapsed face first into the cushion. With a small inkling of magic, she tugged the blanket down on herself. She heard a loud voice talking outside the apartment.

The last thought Trixie had before succumbing was, That's unusual. Maybe Vinyl came home early-?

Pain. All was pain.

It should fade soon. The bliss of contentment.

Hurts. Back. Piercing.

So beautiful. Do I get to touch?

Ow! Hurts worse.

Never ending agony.

Mind foggy... did I have a horn? No... Yes, I have a horn...

Hurt fading. Forelegs... back hooves... was something between?

No, not possible...

Eyes itch. Something in them, perhaps?

Sides tickle. Is Vinyl back?

It's all coming back.

Stay away! I don't want to remember. I don't want to. I don't want...

Trixie woke as the sun started shining through slats in the blinds. She groaned. Can't Princess Celestia lower the sun for, oh she wouldn't know, six hours?

"Morning sunshine," Vinyl greeted her.

"Go away," Trixie grumbled. "Trixie thought you were supposed to be sleeping in and she be the early bird."

"Who, me?" Vinyl acted mortified. "Why would I do that? I'm the Great and Powerful DEEEJAAAAAAAYYY!" She reared up on her hind legs, managing to stay upright for a few seconds before falling to all fours again.

"That's just rude. She wants to know if you have toast ready."

"I can put some in now, if you want. You sound like you had a rough night." Vinyl said. "Sleep much?"

"Trixie wouldn't know. She still feels tired, since somepony left the curtains open." Trixie gestured wildly to the window.

Vinyl whistled, long and low. "You must've been hammered."

"Vinyl!"

"Heh heh, I know which buttons to press, miss Great and Powerful." a popping noise was heard from the kitchen. "Toast's done."

Trixie grunted a few times to simulate effort. "It's no use... Trixie is stuck. You must bring the toast to Trixie. Lightly buttered, please."

A few moments silence and a few more of scraping and Vinyl came into the living room levitating two pieces of buttered toast on a paper plate. "As you wish, milady." she said sarcastically.

Trixie sat up and leaned forward eagerly, anticipating the delicious buttery crunch and spray of crumbs. Her waitress however, stood slack jawed.

"What is it?" Trixie asked.

Vinyl lifted one quivering hoof at her.

"Does she have a wart or acne?" Trixie asked, dread in the pit of her stomach. Cosmetic problems were the worst for showmares; psychics are the performers that are supposed to be sub-par in the beauty department. Trixie was not a vain pony, but wanted to be presentable for business.

Vinyl ever so slightly shook her head. She pointed, this time more accurately, to her back.

"Will you-" Trixie began irritably. Then she looked at her back. She was speechless for a moment. Then she found words. "Well, that puts me in a pickle."

Settled on her back were two blue wings.

We're off to see the wizard

It was silent. The frantic shock of Vinyl Scratch conflicted with the the calm and collected expression of the new alicorn.

Vinyl found her voice. "T-Trixie!" she yelled.

"What?"

"You're an a-alicorn!"

Trixie rolled her eyes. "She knows, Captain Obvious. Anything else to add?"

"How are you so- so at ease with it?!"

"Why, she was expecting it for quite some time now. Since Trixie fled from the Ursa Minor, she delved deeper into magic than ever before. Her level had drastically improved, as she could perform spells the inferior Trixie wouldn't have dreamed of doing." Trixie shrugged. "She figured it would have happened sooner."

Vinyl Scratch rolled her eyes. "Only you, Trixie." Then her flustered demeanor returned. "Trixie, this is really rustling my jimmies! What're you going to do now? You can't go out, you can't perform, you can't- hell, you can't even get me my Stalliongrad candy!"

"Trixie could always usurp Princess Celestia."

"WHAT??!!"

"She kids, Vinyl, she kids. Calm down- chillax, you might say. Trixie can wear that nice sweater she had Marshmallow to sew to cover the wings." Trixie experimentally flexed said limbs. They obeyed, snapping downward (or in this case, horizontal) at an alarming speed. Trixie had put too much effort into it. She winced.

"Marshmallow? What in Celestia's name is Mar- forget it. Let's stay on topic here." Vinyl took a deep breath. "YOU. ARE. AN. ALICORN!"

"Trixie thinks you may have scratched yourself too much- you're starting to sound like a broken record." Trixie giggled at her own (albeit lame) joke. "That is humorous because your name is Vinyl Scratch!"

"Oh shut up," Vinyl grumbled. "We have to get somewhere to reverse this."

"But why?"

"Trixie, are you serious? If there's suddenly a new alicorn trotting around the streets, word will go around that one of the Princesses is dying or had a kid or something. Some extreme Solarists or Lunarites might try to kill you to protect the Princesses. Ponies might rally against Celestia and Luna and before you know it, we may have a full revolution on our hooves and you're gonna be shoved up on that throne and forced to wear necklaces 'n crap and HAPE's gonna follow you everywhere." Vinyl Scratch violently shook Trixie's head, surprising the newly ascended alicorn. "Cults. And HAPE!"

"Viiiiiiiiiinyyyyyyyyl," Trixie groaned. "You are making Trixie nauseous."

"Oops," Vinyl released the head. "Sorry. But I'm sure you'd be acting the same if you were me."

Trixie yawned. Too much was going on that morning. "Actually, she would mainly be disappointed that the Magic Flutterpony didn't come for Trixie and just settled for a ruffian deeeeee-jaaaaay," she sneered. "Instead of the best."

Vinyl said nothing at the less than subtle insult.

"Then the Deee-jaaaay," Trixie once again drew out the word. "Would get an audience with the Princess. Both the Princesses would be stunned at both her sudden magical ability and her music prowess. Stunned, they would grant her the title as Princess of Music, therefore bestowing immortality. The Princess of Music would be adored for generations to come, all the while forgetting her third-wheel roommate!" The 'third-wheel roommate' started out slowly, slowly escalating to an enraged shout at the end of her speech. She found her face inches away from Vinyl's, wings held rigid out of stress. Her aggressive expression melted away as she realized her past few words. She leaned back and tugged at her pale mane. "Yes... it would benefit the hypothetical," Trixie emphasized. "Disk jockey greatly if she were bestowed wings."

Vinyl reached a hoof toward her. "Trixie..."

Trixie slapped it away. "She is fine, Scratch. Get back in the kitchen and make her a sammich."

Vinyl shook her head. "Trixie, if I make you a sandwich, will you see somepony to try and fix this?" she asked. "Somepony you trust." she added after a moment's thought.

"She will see somepony if you make the best sandwich Trixie has ever seen. No crust, cheese, tofacon, tomato, sourkraut..." she listed off her ideal items for a sandwich. "... and pizza sauce."

Vinyl's brow crinkled. "Why would you want Cool WHip on a sandwich?"

"What? It's Cool Whip."

"That's what I said, Cool WHip. I don't usually put Cool WHip on sandwiches." Vinyl said.

"Why are you putting so much emphasis on the H?" Trixie asked.

"What're you talking about, Trixie? I'm just saying Cool WHip. Raspberry jam or strawberry?"

"Raspberry." Trixie said automatically. "Say 'whip'."

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

"Whip."

Trixie nodded her approval. "Now say 'cool'."

"Cool." Vinyl levitated the sandwich over. She left some things out, like diamond powder and gold dust, but substituted it with glitter.

"Now say Cool Whip."

"Cool WHip."

"Cool Whip!" Trixie shouted, frustrated at Vinyl's hardheadedness.

"No. If you want the sandwich, you'll drop it there."

Trixie shut up.

Vinyl continued making the sandwich in peace until Trixie spoke up again.

"It bothers Trixie that you don't speak properly."

Vinyl grit her teeth. "So I've heard. And it bothers me that you tried using a terrible joke that everypony's over. And the whole 'referring to yourself as Trixie' thing."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Trixie sees nothing wrong with speaking of herself as Trixie."

"Well then Vinyl Scratch might just start doing it, too."

"It doesn't work with your name, Vinyl. It only works with names like 'Trixie' or 'Diane'."

"Nope, Vinyl Scratch says it works with her name."

"It doesn't work with 'Vinyl Scratch'! And plus, it's Trixie's thing!"

"Nu uh."

"Yuh huh."

"Nu uh."

"Yuh huh."

"Nuh uh!"

"Yuh huh!"

"NU UH!"

"YUH HUH!"

"NU UH!"

"YOU'RE EATING MEAT!"

A stream of sandwich materials spewed forth from Trixie's mouth.

The train car rattled as two unicorns sat together in stormy silence, backs turned to the other. After no less than forty-five minutes, the blue one spoke up.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is not going to ask where you got that meat."

"Vinyl Scratch doesn't know where she got the meat. Some stallion must've left bacon in there." DJ P0n-3 replied.

Trixie scowled. "You cannot imitate Trixie well."

"Vinyl Scratch wasn't trying to. And as for the meat, we were out of tofacon so I substituted with the stuff at the back of the fridge. Chill." Vinyl snorted, slightly fogging up her glasses. "And who's this Twilight Sparkle? Isn't that some sort of vampony?"

Trixie laughed. "Oh Scratch, everypony knows vamponies don't sparkle! And Twilight Sparkle is the protégée of Princess Celestia. Don't worry; she is trusted." Trixie fidgeted in her highly fashionable sweater (made by Rarity as a gift to remember to not wear any strange amulets, bracelets, rings, or any other suspicious jewelery. And to help stave away Trixie's preferred garb of violet and blue).

"I didn't ask if she was trusted, I asked who she was."

"Twilight Sparkle is.... a rival of Trixie's, you might say. She banished the Ursa Minor instead of Trixie and she masterminded the plot-"

Vinyl started snickering like a little filly.

"-to remove the Alicorn Amulet from Trixie. She forgave me- her when she was freed from it's influence, but still remembered the horrible things she did." She swallowed. "Trixie apologized and Twilight Sparkle accepted. End of story."

Wisely not commenting on Trixie's slip-up, Vinyl shrugged, forelimbs bumping against the neatly hidden wings on Trixie's back. The slightly too-large sweater's purposeful wrinkle smoothed out, revealing a bump.

A pink pegasus looked up from a book she had been absorbed in and saw the slightly raised portion on Trixie's side. She smiled. "How long have you been expecting, miss?"

Vinyl looked up. "Oh, what? Me?"

The mare shook her head. "No, no. Your sister. Miss?"

Vinyl had started laughing hoarsely, shaking her head halfway through. She elbowed the 'expecting' unicorn behind her. "Hey, Trix, Trix, tell her when you're due."

"What?"

"Tell the nice mare when your twins are due, Trixie." Vinyl elbowed the Mortified and 'Pregnant' Trixie.

"Erm, uh, Trixie doesn't know!" Trixie announced after some deliberation. "She's uh, on her way to find out, in fact."

The pink mare tittered highly. "Congratulations, Trixie! Hoh, I remember my first foal. Boy, he was a hoofful for sure. Twins must be twice the trouble! Hee hee!"

Trixie blushed profusely, silently cursing Vinyl for putting her in the situation. And for the wings being so darn nervous right now! "Oh, they are, uhm, kicking around right now. Trixie... has to go the the filly's room." She got up and hid in the bathroom.

"Is she always like this?"

Vinyl smirked and adjusted her rose tinted shades. "Oh yeah. The awkward third pony talk and she insists on wearing designer clothes. We're going to see- oh what's her name- Rarity for a new sweater."

Her eyes widened. "You mean the Rarity? As in Rarity?"

"Yes, Trixie's had some... encounters, let's say, with her. Once she had about ten Rarity.. things, but she gave them to er, charity, I think. I dunno. Everypony's out doing important stuff while I'm still here dropping the bass. Anyway, where're you headed?"

"I'm headed to Los Pegasus. I have some spare bits I'm willing to give to the buffalo." She laughed again. That was starting to get on the DJ's nerves. Her eyebrow twitched behind the reflective glass.

"We're stopping at Ponyville to see her uh.... uh.... MAREFRIEND!" It burst out before Vinyl could stop it.

The mare's smile faltered. "That's... nice."

Vinyl laid down on the slightly uncomfortable cushions. "Yeah.... I'm not too crazy about, uh, Octavia," She really had to try and filter thoughts better. Octy would probably skin her alive if she could hear her. "But she's cool, even though she does crummy classic tunes. I, however, do sophisticated music."

"Oh do you?"

"Yep. Called dubstep and remixes, my stereotypical friend. Imagine it: start out soft," Vinyl hummed a soft rendition of Octavia's famous overture. "Then, it escalates into this." She made sounds like she was choking on some styrofoam and spasmed on the train car seat.

Trixie emerged from the bathroom car. She stopped in front of Vinyl who remained unaware of Trixie's arrival.

Trixie looked to Vinyl, then to the pegasus. "Should Trixie be concerned?"

The mare's horrified expression flicked to Trixie. "I don't know."

Vinyl ended the song 'Cat being strangled while in labor', Trixie presumed. Vinyl Scratch sat up. Her glasses were crooked after wubbing it out. She laughed and fixed it. "That's the future of music, baby."

The mare looked positively terrified. "That- that's the future of music?"

"Yep." Vinyl looked like a proud parent.

"Build your bunkers now," Trixie said sarcastically. She could practically see the venomous look Vinyl gave her.

"Buck off."

Pinky, as Trixie 'affectionately' called her in her own mind, gasped deeply. "Such language around your poor sister!"

"Excuse Trixie, but why can't Vinyl swear around her?"

"The foals might hear!"

"Look lady, Trixie's not pregnant she just-" Trixie saw Vinyl pale even whiter than the usual. "In a erm, mid-life crisis."

"Yeah, I was just screwin' around with ya. She just polished off the last of the Twinklies a couple weeks ago. Last ones I'll ever have." she finished sadly as Trixie flushed a brighter red than when Vinyl told the stranger she was pregnant.

"Oh look, Trixie can see your stop, Vinyl Scratch. Trixie will make sure the... wheels," she said the word with a faraway look in her eye. "don't plan any treachery while you dismount."

"She has a thing with wheels." Vinyl informed the shocked pegasus.

"I- I see."

"While we're here, why do pegasi  have such high voices? If it don't offend you or nothing." Vinyl asked.

Trixie winced. Why was it always gas with this mare?

"Uh, well, it, uhhh--"

"Pegasi release helium, Vinyl." Trixie deadpanned.

"What? Don't stallions fart more than mares?"

"Vinyl Scratch! Stop asking this poor mare about the farting habits of different species or so help Trixie, she will give you a mustache! Do you understand?" Sweet Celestia, she said fart. Vinyl was starting to get to her.

Vinyl nodded, paralized. Mustaches were so out of season! How could Trixie do this to her? I just wanted to know why pegasus voices are so tiny!

The train screeched to a halt. Trixie seized the handles of their bags in a pale lavender glow. "ThankyouthatwasnicegoodbyehaveagoodtimeinLosPegasuswinsomejackpotsmmkay?Mmkay," she said in a rush, affirming that 'Pinky' would indeed win some bits. She dragged Vinyl off the train, stealing furtive look at the wheels. She bumped into a tan earth pony.

"Oh, sorry. Just looking at the.... wheels." Trixie shivered; her contempt for the round devices was Great and Powerful in it's own sense.

He gave her a knowing smile. "Barrels are worse."

"Wheels."

"Barrels."

"Wheels.

"Barrels."

Vinyl tapped Trixie's shoulder and led her away from the rampling stallion. "Somepony hit the liquor a little too hard." Vinyl murmured in Trixie's ear. Trixie nodded.

"Trixie will show you the way to Twilight Sparkle."

Past the insanity, Trixie trotted down the main street somewhat awkwardly. Her wings wanted to beat, to soar into the sky- she craved some liquid nitrogen ice cream, for whatever reason.

"Why would somepony plant a huge tree in the middle of town?" Vinyl asked.

"That's the library. Sparkle should be there." Trixie answered. "And it wouldn't have been that big when they planted it."

"It was a rhetorical question," Vinyl muttered under her breath.

Some ponies gave Trixie a suspicious look. Every time the unicorn had been there, it was chaos. Either a gigantic dome  that cut them off from the world or an Ursa Minor or something else- they would keep an eye or two on Trixie the Great and Powerful.

Trixie marched up to the library door and knocked, rapping thrice on the candle painted on the door.

"It's open!" a cheerful voice called.

She pushed the door open, glancing back at Vinyl. For the first time, Trixie looked unsure. She gathered her courage and stepped in the library, companion trailing behind her. "Twilight Sparkle, Trixie, eheheh, I need your help."

Alicornification

"Trixie? Is that you?" Twilight picked her way over to her friend. It was still relatively early in the day; Spike had yet to shelve the precariously stacked books for that day.

"Yes, Twilight Sparkle, it is me." Trixie shifted her weight nervously. How could she even begin the conversation? Hey Twilight, I think I turned into a being of raw magic potential! Even though I went nuts with power, enslaved your entire town, and banished you for life, you should help! "This is Trixie's roommate, Vinyl Scratch."

Said pony gave Trixie a teasing glare. "So you talk like a normal pony for Sparkles over there? I think somepony's got a cruuuuuu-"

Trixie cuffed Vinyl on the back of the head, mortified. "She kids, Twilight Sparkle, she kids. Twilight Sparkle?"

Twilight.exe has stopped working.

Trixie waved a hoof in her face. "Twilight?" When that didn't work, Trixie gave Vinyl a cross look. "You broke her. Now you can't get rid of these things." She wiggled her wings a bit.

Trixie sighed and trotted past the frozen Element. "Spike, it's th- Trixie. Her roommate broke Twilight Sparkle."

She received no response.

"Spike! Get down here and fix your sister!"

A pattering  of feet came down the stairs. "Coming, Twilight!" When Spike reached the main library room, he stopped. "Trixie? What're you doing here?"

"Didn't you hear me before?"

"I was sleeping. You just sounded a lot like Twilight. What happened?"

"Trixie's roommate, Vinyl Scratch, made in inappropriate joke and it broke her."

"Oh, this happens a lot when Cloud Kicker comes over and starts joking around. I'll have her back up and running in a second." Spike cleared his throat and in an overly dramatic voice, said, "Oh no, it looks like somepony didn't shelve to fit the Dewdrop Decimal Code. Oh, the humanity!"

It did the trick. Twilight blinked slowly slowly and inhaled. "What?! Spike, how could you make such a monumental mistake! It'll take days to--"

"Twilight, you froze up again."

Purple Smart paused and blinked. "Oh. Right."

"Anyway, what're you here for Trixie? You don't live nearby, do you? I don't think I heard about Pinkie throwing a Trixie-lives-close-enough-for-a-party party."

"Trixie actually live in Canterlot now. She and Vinyl Scratch split the bills. But, as for why Trixie's here..."

Vinyl coughed purposely.

Trixie rewarded her with another glare. "Yes, Scratch, Trixie was getting there. Is there anyplace that a little more... private than a public library?"

"But this is where we talk about super secret things." Twilight frowned.

"In the public library."

"Maybe we should find a better place to discuss national security."

"You think?"

"The only thing nearby is just upstairs or in the basement. But first, I'd like to know why you're here. Not that you're not welcome, it's just... you two live too far away for just up and visiting for tea. Speaking of which, would you like some?"

"Uh, Sparkles, that's what we need the basement for. Ya might wanna take us down there b'fore we tell. You got any cider?" Vinyl scratched the back of her head.

"Sure. And don't call me Sparkles." Twilight beckoned for them to follow her. "You need anything to drink, Trixie?"

"Trixie will have a jasmine tea."

"Hey, that's my favorite kind, too!" Twilight smiled, pleasantly surprised.

"Trixie never said it was her favorite."

"Oh. Then what is?"

"Jasmine."

"... Spike, can you bring down a cider and two jasmine teas for us?"

"Do I get Emerald Juice if I do?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Yes, Spike, you can have your Emerald Juice." She led the two other unicorns to the basement, and upon entering, Vinyl Scratch let out a low whistle and tucked her sunglasses behind her horn.

"Pretty sweet setup you got here, Sparkles." She trotted over to a chair with restraints on it and knocked. "Doing illegal experiments?" She cracked a crooked smile.

"No! I wouldn't ever- what would the Princess think if I did- oh my gosh, I would go to prison and Shining would sentence me and Princess Celestia would be there and oh my goodness, all my friends would watch me get horncuffed and--" Twilight started prancing in place nervously, trapped inside a nightmare in her own head.

Trixie rolled her eyes and grabbed Twilight's shoulders. "Twilight Sparkle! You are not about to be sentenced to prison. Take a deep breath."

Twilight obliged, drawing in a deep, shaky breath and exhaling slowly.

"Do you remember what the Professor Gonneigh at Princess Celestia's School told ponies to do if they were ever in doubt?"

Twilight swallowed. "I- I'm a strong, independent unicorn."

"That's right. Just keep repeating that until you feel better." She released Twilight to her babbling about being a strong, independent unicorn. Trixie noticed Vinyl staring at her. "What?"

"I didn't know you went to the School for Gifted Unicorns."

Trixie bristled and narrowed her eyes. "Is Trixie not good enough to have gone to the School?"

Vinyl waved her hooves frantically. "No, no, I'm not saying anything like that! I'm just surprised that you got in; I heard the entrance exam's super hard. Like fighting a griffon merc or something."

Trixie relaxed a bit, but still apprehensive. "Where did you hear that? It was hatching a dragon egg. The only reason Twilight Sparkle got to keep Spike is because she's the Princess' personal student. Everypony else has the dragon they hatched sent to the Dragonlands." A tinge of jealously crept into her voice.

"So how'd you score an interview or whatever they do?"

"Trixie doesn't think that this is the time to discuss schooldays.There are more important matters to attend to." She shot a purposeful glance at the now-calm Twilight Sparkle.

"I- Thank you, Trixie. I never knew that you went to Princess Celestia's School." She gave a warm  smile as thanks.

"Yes, that's exactly what Vinyl Scratch was saying. Now, about why Trixie has arrived--" Spike came thumping down the stairs, tray of beverages in hand.

"I feel like a butler," he grumbled as he handed out everypony's respective drinks.

"Thanks, dude." Vinyl tipped her head back and chugged the mug down until all that remained was froth sliding down the inside of the mug. She wiped the cider mustache from her face and belched loudly. "Did you hear that?"

"That was awesome!" Spike fistbumped her hoof.

Trixie wrinkled her nose. "How... eloquent. Now, you two can go upstairs and build a fort out of books; Trixie has important things to discuss."

Vinyl wilted a bit. "I'll take ya up on the offer later."

"Are you ever gonna tell me what's going on?" Twilight was getting frustrated with how the duo had skirted around the subject.

"Yes, Twilight, Trixie was getting to that. She's just not sure how to tell you, but--"

"Oh Celestia, what Vinyl said earlier isn't true, is it?"

"Twilight!" she snapped. "This is serious!"

"I wasn't joking..."

"Yeah, what she's gonna say's gonna blow that little thought right outta the water, Sparkles," Vinyl grinned.

"Stop calling me 'Sparkles'," Twilight said crossly.

"Nope."

Trixie cleared her throat. "Trixie will be the first to say that she doesn't have even the smallest crush on you. And as for why she and Vinyl are here..." she looked at Vinyl. "How should she say it?"

"Dude, just lose the sweater."

"Yeah, Trixie, why are you even wearing that?"

"You see, Twilight, Trixie- eh, has a bit of a problem. Try to keep your voice down." Trixie magicked the sweater off, exposing her little feathered friends resting at her sides.

"I- I- I- wings- Trixie- alic- I- I- what?" Twilight swayed melodramatically before passing out. Which was also melodramatic.

Spike did a spit take. "WHOA! I did not see that one coming!"

"Yes, neither did I," Trixie said dryly. "Now wake your sister up so I can get rid of the things."

Spike scowled. "You're not even giving me enough time to make a couple corny jokes."

"Just wake her up."

Spike got up to stand by his sister. "Oh no, looks like somepony dog-eared a page of a Starswirl the Bearded book," he said flatly.

Twilight rose from the dead then, fury in her eyes. "What? How could somepony be so foolish as to--" It took both Vinyl and Trixie's magic to hold her where she was.

"Twilight Sparkle, there is no dog-ear. We needed to wake you up," Trixie explained somewhat gently.

Twilight scowled at her and Spike. "That was a rotten trick. Below the belt."

"Look, I'm sorry, but can I please just get these things off so I can go down the street like a normal pony?" Trixie asked, exasperated.

Twilight relaxed a bit. "I accept your apology. Can you, ah, let me go now?"

Trixie dissipated her aura, Vinyl reluctantly after. "Dude, I don't trust Sprinkles over there," she whispered, casting a sidelong glance at the now-disheveled pony. "She's too wound up."

"She just gets antsy around books," Trixie replied. "But please, Twilight Sparkle, I need your help."

Twilight smiled a bit. "Sure, I'll help as much as I can. It'll be an interesting study, trying to de-wing an alicorn. Science has never been presented the need nor opportunity to do so!" she giggled, a bit madly.

Vinyl shuddered and stood a fraction close to her powder-blue alicorn friend.

"But luckily enough for you, Trixie, I think I know where we can start." Twilight trotted across the lab, levitating a couple books of the shelf and piling them at her side. "Pack your bags, girls, we're going to Manehattan!"