A Human in an Equestrian Asylum

by Mr Anomalous

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Other, Original Character
Length: 12189

A human is thrown into an asylum in Equestria, because of the humanity that is his own...

Oh boy, a human goes to Equestria, how totally original, I bet no one's ever thought of that before!

Twenty-one-year-old John Barrings lives a simple life. A simple life, but a happy life. He has no family to have to deal with, except for his Father who disappear long ago, only to return later, feel "super guilty" about abandoning John to his Uncle, and begin sending him money.

John doesn't know where the money comes from, and he doesn't care; it means that he doesn't have to work very much. He plays video games, watches awesome movies. He likes his simple life.

One day, while doing what he does best-play video games-John's life is completely turned over, in an event that will change his life, and the lives of a few happy, talking Ponies as well...

Published 2013-01-10 03:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-22 21:47:57 UTC

A Simple Life (Revised)

Chapter One: A Simple Life

You may notice the 'Revised' in the beginning, but not to worry. I just added a few sentences to make the story flow better, and spaced out the paragraphs. Read one, and don't forget to upvote!

Sit back, I'm going to tell  you a bit about myself. I know you don't wanna hear it, but I'm bored right now, listen! We'll get to the good stuff later!

Anyway my name is John Barrings. I am twenty-one years old. I like to play video games. A lot. I also enjoy listening to Metalcore, such as August Burns Red, Lamb of God, Job for A Cowboy, oh, and I also like to listen to Dubstep.

My primary job is, or was working as a cashier at Play n' Trade. I was pretty good at it too; I was always getting raises and making sales, therefore, my boss loved me. I thought that he was pretty cool too.

My favorite video games are Battlefield 3, MineCraft, Black Ops II, Team Fortress 2, and, the newest edition, Skyrim. I had just bought it. My father had sent me a big clump of cash, again. This one was two hundred buck. A little less than usual, but, hey, who am I to be ungrateful?

You see, when my mother died, my dad abandoned me to my Uncle. My uncle and dad were the only two remaining, known, anyway, members of my family. My uncle passed away when I was eighteen, and I simply inherited his money, used it to purchase an apartment, a car, and, when the money ran out, I got a job at a gas station, worked there for a bit, then moved up to where I am now.

Then my dad, who I guess felt super guilty, began sending me money. I have no idea where this money comes from, but, once again, who am I to be ungrateful?

I've still never met him. I've never responded to his letters, which always contain lumps of cash, because he never asked me too. The money helps; I don't have to work as much.

But, even so, I still have to work. But, even if I didn't have too, I still would, because I love my job there. Or, at least the job that I had there; I'm still not super sure if I'm going to make it back.

Why am I telling you this? I dunno, just kind of a way to pass the time.

Story time? Story time.

It all began (pretty original beginning, ya?) last night, when I was, surprise, surprise, playing video games. I sat down at my cave, powered it up, and four screens stared up at me. Yes, I am proud of my nerd cave.

Two of them belong to my Alienware m18x laptop; the main screen, and a second monitor that I have connected. The other belongs to my Powermac. Nice.

And the fourth was really nothing special, just my TV. It wasn't even a flat-screen. Disappoint. I leaned over and cracked open my mini-fridge, (HA! I have one of THOSE!) and grabbed a 20 oz can of Red Bull. (I Also have RED BULL!)

I opened it, and began gulping it down. I started up my Xbox, and my eyes scanned the games. I eventually chose good 'ole Call of Duty: World at War. I wanted to give Nazi Zombies another go, which would be the first time in a while.

After getting slaughtered on the third round, (Hey! I was used to Black Ops zombies, okay!?) I switched it out for Skyrim. The navigation-sticks was worn down much that night. I finished the rest of my Red Bull, and opened up the fridge for another one. I was let down. That was my last one. Instead, I settled for second best: Mountain Dew, bitches!

The nectar of the gods is what it is.

My last let down of that night, on Earth anyway, was that, as soon as I cracked open the can, which, much to my glee, began to steam (I love it when it does that) my chest began to get a tingling sensation, which caused me to halt the approaching can. Mtn Dew is good, but, when your chest starts randomly fizzing, if kind of makes you stop.

What...?

The can was thrown to the ground. Not in anger, not in surprise, but in pain. My body literally started jerking around in pain. Everything hurt, in both a sharp and dull pain. I never got any Mtn Dew. Damn it.

The pain began escalating, more and more. It was like a giant cramp, only all over you entire friking body!

I fell to the ground, screaming, knocking over some things, I didn't see, my eyes were fuzzy from developing tears, and, soon, my vision began to blacken. I was overcame by a wave of fatigue and, strangely, comfort. All of the pain was still there, but....it didn't bother me. It was there, but it wasn't bad. Kind of like just feeling...I don't know...a pencil in your hand.

You can feel it, but its not bad.

I'm not saying that the pain was what was comforting me. It was something else. The last thing that I ever saw was a spilled Mtn Dew can, the soda trickling out, and my green wall, plastered in some pretty nerdy posters, and my giant, potted plant.

I gave into the comfort, this strange, other-worldly comfort, and finally went *kaput*

Wow, you know how, in almost any movie that you watch, when someone gets knocked unconscious, and when they start coming to, they start by slowly blinking, and everything is fuzzy and whatnot? That is freaking dead on. Only, in those movies, they usually wake up in a Hospital of some sort, or in a Murdering Psychopath's lair. I woke up in neither.

I guess I couldn't really say that I woke up inside everywhere, because I did my, said, waking up outside. I didn't initially come to that conclusion by opening my eyes because I couldn't; I was literally too weak to open my eyes.

I felt warmth from a bright sun, and I heard chirping. But, I also felt a few rushes of hot air, which I could immediately classify as breaths, and, one of the things that usually come along with, breath, besides smells, are voices. By that, I mean that, if something breaths, It can probably talk, or at least make some sort of noise.

But whatever was hovering above me, there were lots of them, spoke. And they spoke English, thankfully.

Good. Wherever I was, it wasn't somewhere I would be totally lost in. Of course, that was the most incorrect thing that I have ever thought in my life. Ever.

The voices began to become clearer as I began to regain energy, I still couldn't open my eyes very wide though, and I began to catch snitches of jumbled conversation. Alien....what?...safe....pony...

Pony? What?

Suddenly, all of my energy returned. Very quickly, and I was a bit unprepared by the rush of restored energy, and I gasped, kind of violently, and..I..kind of jerked around a bit as well.

My gasping and jerking was met by gasping from whoever was surrounding me, and I heard them scuttle away. I lay still for a bit, breathing heavily. I became aware that my entire body was sore, everywhere that the pain I had experienced last night, which was everywhere.

There was a heavy headache pounding its way around my skull, and I groaned, and raised my wrist to my sweaty forehead, where it stayed for a bit.

There were a few more footsteps in the...gravel? that was around me. I heard the trickling of a fountain next to me. I was probably in some sort of park. I removed my wrist, but still didn't open my eye; my energy was gone again for some reason.

There were more footsteps and I could see through my eyelids. I saw a silhouette, probably a head.

"...are...are you alright mister?" came the voice from directly above me. Female.

I took a big, sigh, and responded, "Uh...yeah...yeah I'm fine, just a bit sore. And I got a nasty migraine..."

The crowd around me began muttering. What, were unaccustomed to random people showing up in their park, and claiming to have a headache.

I chuckled, and finally opened my eyes, and, HEY! Guess what!? These weren't people! My pupils did the natural thing: dilate and I gasped. Directly above me was the concerned face of a...purple unicorn? It did have the unicorn trademark, which was a horn, in case you didn't know.

It looked weird too. The texture wasn't...real. It brought to mind a cartoon. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

"Heh, guess I passed out harder than I originally thought..."

The face, which, while weird and cartoony....and purple, was friendly, and it smiled.

"Well, then that means just about every citizen in Ponyville has passed out at least equally harder; there's an alien in our park."

Ponyville? I smiled. I must be dead. Is this heaven? Or is it hell? Right now, I was having a hard time telling. A world filled with small, magical, talking unicorns made it a bit hard to land a conclusion on either of those right now.

I finally sat up, which made the unicorn draw back a little. I looked around. Everything was a freaking cartoon, and there were a lot of ponies. Not all were unicorns though; some had wings, but no horns, others had horns, but no wings, and others had neither. I smiled a bit and passed out again.

Hey! I just blacked out in my apartment only to wake up and end up being surrounded by talking ponies, cut me some slack, okay!?

Chapter End

Well...This is Strange

Chapter Two: Well...This is Strange

Well, it happened again, and the thing that happens in the movies is still dead on. And I am still dead, it would seem; I am still in a world of small, colorful equines. This time I did, however actually wake up inside some sort of structure.

Also, this time I managed to refrain from having what probably looked like an orgasm when my energy came back, only this time, the energy remained.

And, along with being inside and not having a surprise-gasm at my rush of energy, there was only one pony there. A pony and a giant-ass lizard who walked on two legs.

The pony was the very same one who had first spoke to me in the park, the purple unicorn. Well, I'm not dead, I guess...that means that I am either (A) insane, or (B) actually inside a magical world of ponies. Right now, option (A) is preferable.

"Why hello there! You're awake! What's your name?"

I have never shat my pants harder than I did on that day. I almost fell out of the bed that I just then noticed I was in.

"Oh, I'm so, so sorry, I should've been more quiet, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mrs. Purple Unicorn thingie. And my name is John."

She shook her with a cute little 'you're a freaking idiot' grin plastered across her face.

"No no, my name is Twilight Sparkle-"

"So are you a vampire pony?"

"What? Umm...no, of course not, why would you think that?"

"Hehe. Never mind, continue." I crack myself up sometimes.

"Uh..okay, anyway; My name is Twilight Sparkle, and you are currently inside of the Golden Oak Library, one of the many structures in a town known as Ponyville."

"Library? What am I doing in a bed? Do all Libraries in Ponyville have beds ?"

"Oh, no, I live here, you're using my bed; I brought you here after you passed out again."

She lives in a freaking library?

"Wait...you...actually live in a library? Are...are you a very big reader?"

I could tell by the sheen in her eyes that I was going to need to take evasive action in about three seconds.

"Yes! Yes I am. I love books, I do. I really, really do!" She said with a certain amount of dreaminess in her voice.

"Kay, gotcha."

I looked around and saw that, yes indeed, I was inside of a library. And a tree, as it would appear.  I looked back from the rest of the large room and saw that the little lizard thing, who was sweeping the floor, had paused and was looking at me funny.

"What?"

His eyes widened.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all."

He dashed away in blur, leaving the broom and dustpan twirling in the air momentarily, before they clattered to the ground. How comical.

"He's not plotting to eat me in my sleep, is he?"

The Purple Unicorn, Twilight, I guess, watched as the lizard bolted down the stairs. She turned back to me and said, "Who, Spike? You don't have worry about him, he's just being Spike; curious."

"So, what, is he your slave?" I asked, thinking back to his sweeping the floor.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no," she said, ejecting the 'no's like an automatic weapon, "He's just my assistant; he lives here too."

I raised my eyebrow, "Anyone else live here? Besides you and the lizard anyway..."

This merited yet another cute little 'you are an idiot' grin.'

"Spike isn't a lizard, he's a baby dragon."

Wha-?

"A dragon? Seriously?"

"Um...yes?"

I smiled a giant smile. I've always had a bit of an obsession with dragons, ever since I was a kid. Then I giggled a bit more manically than I had originally intended.

Twilight got a concerned look on her face, "You're not planning to eat him in his sleep, are you?"

I laughed a bit. "No, its just that I've always liked dragons."

"You have dragons in your world too?"

"Oh. No, they're just imaginary where I come from..." I say with a bit of an unintended meloncholy tone to my voice. Dragons were something that I could always turn to when I was being ignored by my uncle again. I could draw them fairly well, in any style. Cartoon, realistic... That's also one of the reasons that I liked to play Skyrim so much; it had dragons in it. They sort of let me tear open my envelope of imagination, which was always pretty full, and needed to be emptied. It was, into my drawings and video games.

But no more need for despair, 'cuz dragons are real here, bitch!

I wipe the sad look off of my face and hope out of Twilight's bed. The unicorn backs up a bit.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to eat you; you brought me here and took care of me for...how long was I out?"

"About three hours."

That weird oh...well look you get on your face that I can't really describe, usually includes a raised eyebrow; I got one.

"Anyway, would you mind giving me the grand tour?"

She beamed, "Of course I wouldn't mind, follow me!"

Her happiness was freaking contagious. I gave into it and smiled, following the prancing purple unicorn down the stairs.

Princess Celestia was sitting in her throne room, flanked by her guards and was, quite frankly, bored. A surprisingly small amount of letters from ponies that needed her help had come in today, and there was no need to do anything, travel anywhere...

Celestia let out a sigh and rested her chin on her golden-shod hoof.

"Is something the matter, you majesty?" one of the guards asked, with a slightly concerned look on his face.

"Oh...no....I'm just feeling a bit bored..."

The guard smirked, How do you think I feel?, and returned his gaze to the front of the room. It was unnervingly quite. Soon Celestia was sagging from the bordem. Running a country without war was nice and all but buck it could make you feel purposeless.

Celestia was just about to give up and go to her room, when the doors opened. The speed at which Celestia retained her majestic frame and smile could not be matched by god himself. Which is kind of a stupid phrase, since, here Celestia is a God. Or a Godless. You know what I mean.

"Yes? Can I help you?" she called a bit eagerly from across the long throne room.

It was just a newbie, who was carrying a load of dirty dishes across his back. His small frame was straining under the weight of them.

"Oh...I'm s-sorry P-Princess;  I thought this was the kitchen..." He said, and closed the door.

How the hay do the throne room doors, which are massive, decorated, and have bucking THRONE ROOM across the top, in any way, resemble the damn kitchen doors!?

After a total of five seconds, Celestia let out a long, annoyed sigh.

"I quit. I'm going to my room."

"If you say so, your majesty." one guard said, and they both departed. The Princess sulked in her throne room for a bit more, walking all the way to her room seemed pretty unattractive right now, but she eventually left.

Princess Celestia was just about to enter her quarters when a letter appeared in front of her.

Oh, sure, send me a bucking letter now.

She proceeded to her room, lay down in front of her fireplace, and opened up the letter. Her eyes widened more and more as she read it. When she was done, she dropped the scroll and shouted.

"Guards!"

You know, despite the fact that I was randomly transported into a world of magical ponies, I was in a pretty darn good mood.

After I got the grand tour of the tree-library, or whatever you call those, the tour expanded to the entire town. I got to meet all of the ponies that I had seen earlier at the park, and some others as well, who, by the way, were pretty accepting of me, which was pretty surprising. I mean, I'm an alien for goodness sakes , but, oh well, I guess that its just the nature of these ponies to be accepting, which sounded good to me.

Then, Twilight took me around to meet all of her best friends, one of which I didn't even get to speak to; she just gasped and ran off as soon as she saw me.

"What was that all about?"

"Oh, you'll see..." Giant grin.

Rainbow Dash is probably my favorite, by the way, despite the fact that she threatened to kill me as soon as she saw me. Applejack seemed a bit cautious at first, but she warmed up to me once I informed here that the apple I had eaten off of one of her family's nearby trees was almost satanically delicious.

"Ah don't know what 'saytanic' means, but ah bet its a compliment!" She said as she quite viciously shook my hand.

Rarity fainted. The thing that she most reminded me of was a marshmellow. Fluttershy actually exploded into a wave of excitedness. Not what Twilight and the other cautioned me about at all. She said I was super-cute, how nice I looked, and began to examine me, commenting on my hair and my other aspects. Then, all friendliness from all of the ponies dissolved when she got to my teeth.

She pried open my mouth with a surprisingly strong pair of hooves, and began quietly lecture  me about how I should brush my teeth more, when she shrieked, a very quite shriek, and shrunk away from me in terror.

"What? What is it?" Twilight asked Fluttershy, who was cowering, in a very adorable manner up against the outside of the front door of her cottage.

"T-t-t-teeth..." She said as she lifted a quivering hoof towards me.

I frowned even deeper and pulled my lips back.

More gasps.

"Whaaat? I know I don't brush my teeth very much, but-"

"Canines..."

"Canines?" Why was she talking about dogs right now?

Then I realized what she was talking about: my two canine teeth; they meant that I ate meat.

I exploded in guilt that I made such an adorable thing so frightened, even though it wasn't really my fault.

"Oh, no, no, don't worry; I eat meat, but not...you. You guys are intelligent beings, eating you would probably considered murder. Heck, even equines on my planet who aren't very intelligent don't get eaten very much."

Rainbow Dash was in my face.

"Waddaya mean very much?"

The fact that she was hovering off of the ground made it easier to place my two fingers on her muzzle and push away. She moved quite easily.

"What I mean is that, in the country I live in, we don't; its not in out culture. I mean, some countries do, but I don't."

Rainbow Dash still looked a bit suspicious.

Twilight jumped to my defense.

"Ladies, don't be like that. He even said so; he doesn't eat equines, especially smart ones."

I, who was standing behind her, did a over-exaggerated  See? Listen to the smart lady! gesture.

We continued on our way, but tension was still high. It all disappeared when we reached the library. It was dark inside.

They all smiled hugely and shoved me inside. Remember when I said I had never shat my pants harder than I did that morning? Yeah, I lied.

My face was full of pink as soon as I was inside.

"Surprise!"

gah.

My sense were assaulted by pink. Seriously, I could friggin smell and hear pink!

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you!! Yay! I get to throw a party for an alien!"

I looked around. Streamers. Streamers everywhere.

I gotta admit, at first it looked like a birthday party for a six-year-old, but we partied late into the night. And I know this sounds gay, but I have no better word to describe it: The cupcakes she made were divine. There, I said it, and I meant every frikin word of it.

I stuffed myself to the point of throwing up. I even considered doing what the Romans did back in the day, but decided against it.

This party was the greatest I've ever been too, and I wouldn't trade the experience for the world.

Of course, even the greatest of parties have to end, and this one was no exception.

Everyone left, and Twilight, Spike and I cleaned up. I addressed the problem of where is the alien going to sleep, and Twilight responded with a 'simple' duplication spell. She made a copy of her bed. wat.

I stripped down to my underwear, unabashed, and slipped under the overs. Most. Comfortable. Bed. EVER

bitch!

I fell asleep almost instantly. Of course, that didn't last long.

There was a heavy knocking at the door, and a gruff voice.

"Open up, in the name of Princess Celestia!"

Twilight flicked on the light, and I responded much as a vampire probably would.

"Ah, I forgot; I sent a letter to the Princess regarding your arrival."

"Uh..okay?"

She waited for a second.

"That means get up: The ruler of Equestria is here to see you."

noooooo...

I sighed and complied. Twilight hurried down the stairs, and I followed, as soon I was dressed.

I came downstairs and shat my pants (hehe, I love that phrase.) at the FREAKING MASSIVE ARMORED UNICORN IN THE GODDAMN DOORWAY!

Shall we run for our lives? Yes, we shall.

I was about to follow my inner voice when Twilight noticed me.

"Ah, there you are, come here."

Mister armor didn't look like a princess to me, but I came to the doorway anyway. Ah. there's the princess.

"I'm sorry for wishing to meet you at such a late hour, but I couldn't resist. What is your name?"

Well, I don't know about you, but when a eighty-foot (slight exaggeration) unicorn-pegasus asks you what your name is, you freaking answer!

"J-John. John Barrings, m-ma'am."

Giant pony chuckled.

"No need to fear: I was just curious." She turned to Twilight, "Twilight, may I come in?"

Her eyes widened to a size akin to dinner plates.

"Oh! Yes, how rude of me! Come in, come in!"

We sat there talking for a bit. I learned all about Ponyville, Equestria, and ponies, (yes, they're are actually called ponies) and they learned all about me and my world. It was pretty late, when we finally ended the chat.

"Oh, Twilight, I'm sorry for keeping you two up so late; you can take the day off tomorrow."

Twilight smiled.

"Thanks you, Princess. I'll show you the door."

We all said our goodbyes and out goodnights and I freaking hit that bed harder than a 20-gauge shotgun shell.

Good-damn-night land of ponies!

My Dreams Betray Me

Chapter Three: My Dreams Betray Me

It had been a pretty eventful day. I had been teleported into a land of magical talking ponies, shat my pants on multiple occasions, attended the most epic and awesome party ever, and almost been killed (in my mind) by an all-powerful, eight-foot-tall, Ruler of the Land, so as you might imagine I went kaput pretty quick. The bed was also unbelievably comfortable. All of this combined to make me go into a deep sleep fairly quickly. And then the dreams started.

I was playing Nazi Zombies. Really brain, Nazi Zombies, is that the best you can do? But wait. No, I wasn't playing Nazi Zombies. I was inside of the game. I was inside of the old building that was Nacht der Untoten. I knew what was going to happen. I heard the familiar cracking of a Zombie tearing out the wooden boards across one of the windows that I had to defend. I found it, and emptied my clip into its head. I killed it, and rebuilt the barrier, (how I did this was I mentally pictured myself pressing the 'x' button. How funny) and I moved on. Eventually, for some reason, I no longer had control of my body. I still saw first person, but my movements were completely automated. I was having fun. A little bit too much fun. I was laughing manically at the deaths of the creatures. The more blood was shed, the more laughing was pulled from my lips. It was strange.

And then, suddenly, I was in Skyrim. Interesting. But I didn't start by controlling my body like last time; I was still just observing through the eyes of someone who I thought was me. And when I soon saw what I was doing, I was even more disturbed. I was slaughtering villagers. That didn't make much sense to me, seeing as my Dovahkiin was good. I never killed anyone, and spared the life of anyone and anything that I could. I couldn't stand killing innocent people, even in video games. I had to skip the "No Russian" stage of Modern Warfare 2. It kind of my 'Gamer's Code,' or something. Since I really didn't do much but play video games, I made it a point to be the most good that I could be. But this dream didn't care.

This continued for a while, I kept on changing video games, and I was killing everything. (Innocent people, more often than not) And I was enjoying it. The little Gamer's Code quirk that I had made these dreams more disturbing than they probably would to anyone else.

Hey, you know that other thing that happens in the movies, when someone wakes up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily? Also dead on. I sat up with the speed of a potential molestation victim, eyes wide, breathing hard. I shook my head and looked around. It was still dark. Spike snored loudly, and Twilight breathed softly. They were both still asleep. They looked so adorable that I just smiled. I rested my head back on my pillow and managed to fall back asleep. No more dreams.

Princess Celestia returned to her Canterlot Palace late at night. Then she seeked out her sister, Princess Luna. She was where she should have been: on the balcony of the tallest tower in Canterlot.

"How did you perceive the alien to be, Big Sister?" Luna asked, without her eye leaving the lens of her Telescope, "is it worthy of staying in Equestria?"

"I am not entirely sure yet, Little Sister. And he is a member of a race called the 'Humans.' He is male, or, a 'man.'

Luna turned away from the peering device and looked up at Celestia.

"Is he doing to need put away?"

"Like I said; I am not sure. I spoke with him and I read his facial and body expressions. He seems benevolent to me, but I have a plan that will confirm my thoughts, or force me to take action, and I need you help."

Luna gave her a look that was a part confusion, and part smugness. My Big Sister needs my help?

Luna kept the pride from her voice, saying, "And what is this plan, Sister?"

"I need you to enter his dreams."

Luna looked confused.

"But Sister, dreams are not a manifestation of an individual's intentions, surely you know this?"

"I do know this, Luna, but dreams, as you know, are made from what the individual has seen or what he has imagined. If his world is tainted, I don't want to risk his planting a seed. No matter how benevolent he is, or how unintentional it is, he might mutter a word. And Luna, you and I both know that even one word or sentence can eventually lead entire nations to destruction."

Luna did know this. (the Alicorns were more long-lived than many believed, and, therefore, more experienced.) She gave a single nod.

"I understand. I assume that you wish to accompany me?"

"You assume correctly."

"Good, now, close your eyes and touch your horn to mine." Luna instructed.

Princess Celestia obliged.

"Now, activate your aura."

There were several moments of silence, then, "We have arrived. You may open your eyes."

Princess Celestia saw an almost unnatural fog. It was deathly silent. After looking around a bit more, she saw many dead trees and grass. There were old husks of some machines, and there were metal barrels scattered about the place. Celestia saw a large building. It was really old, and made of concrete. Every opening was barred over with wood. Celestia saw movement inside.

Then she was startled when something brushed up against her.

Celestia looked down to see a disfigured humanoid. It resembled a human, bit its flesh was gray, and its eyes glowed yellow. It stumbled and tripped grotesqueness toward the buildings, and it was soon followed by others. Each of these almost-human creatures wore similar uniforms, decorated with crosses, and a symbol that consisted of two lines crossed over one another, and the end of each line was bent in an opposite direction of the others.

A Swastika.

Celestia didn't know how she knew, but she did.there were swarms of the creatures (Zombies, Celestia's mind echoed) as they approached the building). Then she was startled yet again by a loud crack. The head of one of the nearby zombies exploded in fleshy chunks and blood.

Then the creatures began to moan and snarl. They increased their speed. Many more cracks sounded, and, when the swarm reached the windows, the crack changed to a boom, and any of the zombies near the windows were destroyed. Limbs came off, heads, and intestines were shredded. But the zombies didn't notice, nor care. Even when their legs were gone, they continued crawling, trying to get at whatever was inside.

Suddenly, they were inside. And they saw John. But he was dirty, covered in grim and blood. He was breathing heavily, and he held a weapon in his hands. He was smiling. It most certainly had not been a nice smile. It had been the giddy grin of a psychopath.

He fired his weapon, dropping many of the zombies, laughing as he did it.

"You can't get me! You can't get me! I have a gun! Hahaha!"

He used his hand to move some sort of slider across the bottom of the gun, and a hold opened up on the side of the 'gun' and a, red, cylindrical shaped container was ejected.

He fired again.

"Hehehe! BOOM! Haha!"

He pulled something out of his bag, it had a handle, and threw it to the ground. He ran away, and an explosion ensued, blasting the legs of off many of his attackers.

"HA! Take that! Die!"

He laughed manically. Celestia was feeling sick to her stomach. Luna stood beside her calmly observing.

Suddenly, they were elsewhere. It was a town. And there was John again...except...he was dressed in armor. Celestia's eyes widened as she saw him summon flames out of thin air, using his hand, and he threw the flame onto the straw roof of a home. He was laughing.

This continued for hours. Celestia had finally decided that she had seen enough.

"Take us home Luna, I know what we are going to do."

"Are we going to imprison him?"

"No. I am going to help him."

"Hey. Hey, John. Time to wake up."

I was in no mood to do that.

"Joooohn. Time to wake up."

Spike sighed and got down from of he tippie toes. His claw raised to his chin as he thought.

"Aha!"

I groaned. Shut up you freaking over-grown Lizard.

There was scuffling noise and an deep intake of breath. What was he going to do, wake me up with his bad breath?

There was heat and a light as he breathed fire. Was he trying to scare out of bed with his fire-breathing abilities?

I felt something thud onto my sheets. Ugh. I ignored it. Then the pant-crapping began. I found out the hard way that it was a firecracker. Mental Checklist: End Spike. But that wasn't all. He began hurling more at me.

"Alright, alright, I'm up, Christ! What the hell do I need to be up for? I don't have a job or go to school here."

"Umm, actually, you do have school." It was Twilight's voice. Apparently she had come up to investigate the cracking noises.

"Hehehe. Good one Spike. That sure got him up."

I shook my head. "School? Why the heck do I have school?"

"Because, how else are you going to learn about Equestria?"

I breathed heavily. This pony was miss live-in-a-freaking-library; she knew that education was something important. And I knew that there was no dissuading her.

"Uhh. Alright, where's this school?"

"Here!"

"What? You're going to teach me?"

"Well, yeah, the only school here is for foals. When you get old enough, you go to school in Canterlot. So, I decided to be your teacher!"

"Why can't I go to Canterlot?"

"Well, you can if you want, but you would have to be awake three hours before now."

Nope.

"Okay, let's go!" Despite being aroused from my beatiful sleep, I was kind of excited. Schooled by a purple unicorn? Let's see how this goes.

I always did well in school, but I had graduated. I never got a grade below C+ in my entire life, from Grade-school to College.

"Where should we begin? I mean, what is your level of knowledge?"

"I've graduated College with an A-minus average."

Twilight smiled giddily, "Impressive! So we can begin with the more advanced studies!"

"I guess so..."

And, hence, I was thrown into five hours of pure school. This Twilight girls was hardcore, but I managed to take it. I learned a lot of stuff, about Equestria. I even learned a new way to do math, and its tons easier than whoever designed the crap that we call math back on Earth.

Twilight called a break, and I was feeling pretty good about myself. I stretched in my seat and got up.

"You wouldn't happen to have Coffee here in Equestria, would you?"

Twilight smiled, "Double Espresso?"

I smiled back, "Yes please."

So for an hour or so, Spike, Twilight and I all sat around the kitchen table, drank coffee, (Except for Spike, he drank cocoa) and just chatted. It was nice. After a while, there was a knock at the door.

"Spike, would you get that?"

Before he could get up, I said, "Naw, I'll get it."

Spike shrugged and got back up in his chair.

I walked over to the main library and opened approached the door.

I opened it, "Yes?" I had to look up. It was the Princess. I smiled an bowed my head.

"How are you today Princess?"

When I looked back up, I saw that there was no hint of a smile on the Princess's face. Also, she had double, no, tripled her guards.

My smile was replaced by a concerned look.

"Is something wrong? Do I need to get Twi-"

"No." The Princess's response was completely emotionless.

"I am here for you, John."

"Uh...okay? Did I do something that I didn't know was illegal here? Did I offend you or something?"

The Princess's stern look restrained.

"Okay, what the hell? Spit it out."

"I would appreciate it if you did not speak to me in such a manner, John."

"Well the please kindly tell me why you've showed up with extra lackies, and with such a hostile aura about you."

"Because I have no way of knowing whether or not you're going to defend yourself, or how you will do so."

"Uh. If you've come to arrest me for something I don't know about, I understand, and I'll go quietly. But if you're here to execute me for something I don't even know I did, you bet I'll defend myself."

I braced myself. Under my leather jacket was something that I had failed to mention to these happy ponies. I had a gun.  I really just carried it around because I thought that it was cool. Of course, I've never used it, and I never expected to use it, against humans, much less against talking ponies.

When I was undressing the other night, I managed to take the strap and holster off at that same time as my jacket, and I managed to keep it hidden underneath said jacket. I hoped that I wouldn't have to use it.

One of the guards spoke up, "We are here to take you into custody in the name of the Princess."

"Okay, I'm under arrest, but what for?"

"Not for something you have done, but for something you might do." Princess Celestia informed me.

"Can you tell the future or something?" I asked skeptically.

"No, but I am smart enough to predict the future based on what I know about you, and what my scholars tell me."

"I assure you Princess, I have no intention of harming you or any of your subjects."

"I know you don't."

I was getting impatient. She might be the almighty Princess, but that doesn't mean that she has to be so secretive.

"Christ, tell me what the hell is going on, please?"

"Last night, Luna and I peered into your dreams."

I cringed at the reminder of them.

"Okay, so I had a few nightmares, is it against the law to dream here?"

"Can you tell me what dreams are John?"

I frowned in thought.

"Aren't they a mixture of what you've seen, done, thought or whatever? Your brain does that to you, right?"

"Yes, John, and I saw you murder innocents in you dreams."

"Princess, I have never taken the life of anything more than a spider, and I do not plan to any time soon."

"These dreams mean that you have seen these horrors, through either life, or some sick form of entertainment that you humans have. And I do not want you to taint my world."

"What are you gonna do? Kill me?" My gun was making me feel a bit brave.

Celestia frowned, "Of course not."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm going to institutionalize you."

I froze. Institutionalize? Like, put me in an asylum? Nope.

Then I remembered something. Twilight said that the Princess sometimes liked to pull little jokes.

I smiled and began to chuckle.

"Haha. That's a pretty good one Princess." The look on Celestia's face told me that this was no joke.

"Hey! What's taking so long John?" It was Twilight.

It was at that moment that I considered doing something that I never would have imagined myself doing. I was going to take Twilight hostage. No. I couldn't, she took me in and started to teach me about her world. How could I do such a thing? Oh, God forgive me, but I"m not going to go to an asylum. Never.

The Princess was more than likely able to see what I was going to do by reading my eyes, or she could probably outright read my mind, and her eyes widened.

"Twilight, run!"

"What? Princess?"

I slammed the door and ran to the kitchen. I didn't want to do this. I had considered Twilight my friend by now, she was a very nice pony, but I hated the thought of going to an Asylum. I had an irrational fear of them, my counselor said, but it all seemed very rational to me. Psychopaths and the like.

The door was exploded in a flash of bright light. I unzipped my jacket and pulled out my gun. Now, a nerd like me, I wanted to get the biggest gun I could. I succeeded. I had bought myself a .357 magnum. It took a little bit of extra training and paperwork, but I got it.

The guards were fast, but I had stalled them with the door long enough to slam the kitchen door in their faces. I looked around and saw Twilight. She had heard the noises and was frightened. I steeled myself.

"John, what's that in your hand?"

I had to hold back tears.

"Twilight, I'm sorry."

"What?"

I moved quickly, fueled by my fear, snatched Twilight, and held the muzzle up to her temple.

"John! What the hay!?"

I led her to the farthest wall, clutching her tightly.

"Shhh, I'm not gonna hurt you, just be quite..."

"Could've fooled me! Let me down!" Her magic began to charge up. Maybe I would wrap this up before she opens up.

"No, I need you. Please cooperate."

The door was kicked down and the guards streamed in. I raised my weapon and fired twice into the ceiling, and everyone, including me, jumped.

"Stay back! I'm not going to an asylum! You're can't arrest me because I had a few bad dreams! What kind of Princess are you!?"

"Sir, put Miss Sparkle down or I'm going to have to use deadly force."

"No...I-I...can't..." I got a big smack in the face from reality. What the hell was I doing, taking a friend hostage like that? This probably confirmed my institutionalization. How selfish could I be? I probably just lost Twilight's trust forever. And besides, even if I managed to get away, what was I going to do?

"I'm so sorry Twilight, I'm being an idiot."

As I was about to find out, Twilight's magic aura had grown since it had first been sparked, and I had failed to notice it. As soon as I uttered this sentence, I was thrown to the ceiling in an explosion of light and shards of wood. I came crashing down. Ugh.

I, a bit dazed, got up and shook my head clear of fuzziness. I looked at Twilight and frowned. It wasn't an I'm gonna kill you frown, more like a What they heck? I was just about to put you down. But I could still see how stupid I had been.

Well, it didn't matter what I was thinking, or how hard I scolded myself, because the guards were on my like lightning. I was put in chains and cuffed over the head with a hard hoof. (As opposed by a soft hoof?) I was led away, out the door, and to a carriage that had a big "Golden Hills Asylum" on the side. An asylum...of all things and asylum...why?

I was put in the back, and two orderlies sat next to me. I sighed a sad sigh. Maybe this would all be over soon.

I was wrong. Very wrong.

My dreams had betrayed me.

My Ultimate Fear is Realized

My Ultimate Fear is Realized:

There may or may not be something that I have refrained to tell you about, just like the gun and the ponies, only, metaphorically, the 'gun' is the fact, and the 'ponies' you. You will have to wait just a while longer to find out what exactly that is.

I sat in the back of this wagon, surrounded by giant orderlies, and shivering about as hard as one could. An asylum! An Asylum!? I don't see what I did to deserve this. Oh god, oh god please don't make me go to an asylum! There were just some dreams!

Despite my feelings, I kind of understood Celestia's actions. Over the top? Yes. Irrational? Yes. But Equestria was a beautiful, beautiful world, and peaceful beyond imagination. Someone like me was a massive threat. I was taint, so I would sow taint, whether I meant too or not. There was nothing I could do now. I would just have to either escape and somehow find a way home, or convince these over-protective ponies that I was no threat to them or their families.

There was no straight jacket for me. Thank god, mostly because I was a human, and they only had straight jackets that fit ponies. Naturally. So, instead, my hands were cuffed behind my back, and I was surrounded by more orderlies that a normal psycho would. I rode for about...and hour and a half, in complete silence. There was complete silence outside the carriage once we left Ponyville, then I could feel the vehicle tilt upwards. Probably from going up a ramp of some sort. At least gravity was doing a good job, go Newton.

Then, I heard voices approaching. They grew louder and louder. I guessed that we had reached Canterlot, the pretty city that perched on the side of a tall mountain. After a while, the voices grew more in the distance, and more silence for a shorter time than before. Then the carriage came to a somewhat-screeching halt. The back doors were thrown open and the light scorched my retinas.

I wanted to shield them but, HEY! GUESS WHAT!? Handcuffs.

The Asylum was beautiful, but that didn't mask the fact that it was still an asylum. There was a long, gravel path that was flanked by hedges and flowers that lead up to a building that, to me, looked somewhat like a German bunker from World War II. Concrete, barred windows...

But, of course, there were potted flowers in the windows. There was even a little 'Hanging Gardens' thing going on on several places off of the roof.

On either side of the path, past the plants, was a vast lawn. It was empty of all life save the grass itself and many small, white butterflies. Past that, there were sandstone cliff walls on either side. Behind me, the carriage sat on a dirt road that went past the cliff and back down to what I assumed to be Canterlot.

I was grabbed by two orderlies and led up to the solid building. As we approached, the structure cast a dark, foreboding shadow over us.

Ice coated my stomach unlike any fear I'd ever felt before, but my rational side won out, saying, "Does it really look like you can battle these guys?"

I looked at each orderly and agreed. I swallowed my fear and went into the disturbingly beautiful building. Not like the orderlies would have let me choose otherwise anyway.

I sat in the Asylum's courtroom. The purpose of this court is for anyone who gets institutionalized for an illegal reason. My reason wasn't necessarily illegal, but I'm pretty sure that threatening to kill Princess Celestia's prize student could count as being illegal.

There was no one there but me, the judge, and the bailiff.

This court was just an act; there was no way I was getting out.

It was a very short trial. I admitted to everything.

My sentence was an attendance to this asylum until my 'insanity was cured.'

Again, everything went by quickly. I was then rushed and thrown in a good 'ole padded cell, complete with small, barred window high up in the wall.

I sat there one the floor for about fifteen minutes before three ponies came in. I could tell by their garb that they were a doctor, a nurse, and an orderly, who stood by the door with a bored expression on his face.

The Doctor, who was a brown unicorn with large, round glasses, pulled out a clipboard from...somewhere?, and began asking questions, Hello, I'm Dr. Purplecross, do you have any other mental instabilities that us ponies have yet to diagnose you with?"

I took a big breath and said, "I have a small case of borderline aspergers....and..."

The Doctor finished jotting something down and then peered over the rims of his glasses, "Yes...?"

"....I have a very, very severe case of dementephobia."

The Doctor's eyes widened.

"That's exactly why I did what I did to try and get out of this place."

Dementephobia. It was fear of insanity or insane people. Yeah, this asylum was my worst freaking nightmare.

"And I also have a small case of schizophrenia."

"Small case?"

"It only happens at night. And they're nice voices, fortunately. Its not like I've ever killed anyone because 'the voices told me to.'"

The Doctor nodded, and then gestured to the Nurse, who nodded fiercely and left the room.

I was just about to ask what she was up to when she came back in, dragging a cart behind her. Looked like dinner. It was surprisingly good, and I got over the fact that the Doctor was watching me intently as I ate.

"Well, even if you're not a violent psychopath in your world, we're going to keep you here and cure you of both your violence and hopefully, the other three."

I shrugged, chewing my food somewhat melancholy-like. It was a steak. A steak. Nummy.

The Doctor left the room, and the Nurse walked up to me.

"Hello!" she said, rather enthusiastically.

"I'm Nurse Ichor!"

She reminded me of Pinkie Pie and so many levels.

"Okay, if you need anything, just let me know. Do you like books or board games?"

I raised my eyebrow. I hated board games. More than anything. They were the most boring things my hands have ever experienced.

"No, I don't like those type of games, but I do like books."

I had an idea. Not on how to escape, yet, but...perhaps I could get some free education here.

"Yeppers, we have lots of books!"

"Okay, do you have anything on psychology?"

"Well, yes, this is any asylum...."

"Okie dokie, get me some books on Psychology, and, if you can, some stuff on any type of mathematics and science, If you'd please."

About five minutes later, there were three or four stacks of very large books. I was going to need them.

I Get a Visit

I Get a Visit

I was up pretty late reading. The pony's math and science was a bit different than ours, but it was similar enough, and it worked. I finally crashed in the uncomfortable bed around one or two in the morning. I would regret this, because, as I found out the next morning, there is a schedule that everyone in the Asylum follows, and I was no exception.

I was woken up at seven-thirty the next morning by a very loud, annoying buzz. I tried to find the source of the sound, wanting to smash it to bits, but, unfortunately, it was emanating from an intercom beyond my reach, even if I stood on my bed.

Shortly afterwards, Nurse Ichor and the same orderly entered my cell.

"Wakey-wakey sleepy head! Time to start your first day!"

Seriously, this Nurse and Pinkie Pie would be the greatest of friends. Same enthusiasm, same strange terminology...

I groaned.

"Oh, come on! Its not that bad! We have a big day today! There's gonna be arts and crafts, music lessons..."

Oh, so this place was like school?

GAAH.

Wait. Did she say music?

"When...when is music class, Miss Ichor?"

The perky pony stopped walking out the door and turned around to face me.

"Oh, you like music, do you? Well, It can actually be whenever you want! You see, I was just about to explain to you as we walked towards breakfast, that you can choose your own classes!"

Nice.

"Okay, let's grab some breakfast."

Nurse Ichor beamed.

I followed her down the halls, and she gave me the tour.

"This is the arts-and-crafts room....math class....gym..."

After about five or six minutes, we arrived at a pair of white double-doors with round windows in each of them.

Above it was a sign labeled Cafeteria.

"Here we are!"

It was actually pretty nice. It had an open roof, which meant warmth and light for everyone inside. There were even some trees and plants growing from little stone circles. The room was surprisingly empty.

"Where is everyone?"

"Oh, there's more than one cafeteria here, this one is somewhat un-used though."

Why? Another question reached my head as I began to pay attention the the open roof.

"What if it rains?"

Nurse Ichor answered, "Oh, don't worry about that, we have magic!"

Of course. What a silly question.

The orderly took place by the doors and waited patiently as the happy pony guided me towards the line.

The cooks were the most stereo-typed lunch ladies I've ever seen.

Big, warts, hair-nets and the like.

The food was surprisingly mediocre though. Cheesecake, (I FREAKING LOVE CHEESECAKE!) steak, mashed potatoes...there was even soda. No Red Bull or Mountain Dew, but it was still pretty nice.

Nurse Ichor grabbed her own food and we sat across the table and began to chat about whatever. The Asylum, patients, and what classes are like.

We finished our trays, (mine was wiped clean) and handed the trays over to the cooks, who then took them to the back, most likely to get washed.

"Oookaayy, waddaya wanna do first?"

"Music." I played the guitar, and the drum kit. I hoped that they had at least one of those.

Another beam, "Nice choice! I'll take you there! But then I have to go help out with some other things, but don't worry: I'll be back to guide you to your next class of choice!"

Awww. I really liked this Nurse.

We walked in comfortable silence for another few minutes, and we came to the intended destination.

"Now, be warned, you're still the only alien-thingie here, so don't be surprised. The teachers have been informed about you, so no need to worry about them, but still..."

I shrugged and walked inside.

The day continued much the same. Nurse Ichor guiding me to classes of my choice, me having to introduce myself to a variety of psycho-ponies, and me slaughtering all of them in whatever we were doing.

There was a drum-kit in music class, and I, with the permission of my teacher, a big, mustachioed pony, sat down and played, as best I could, with the limited cymbals and single bass, August Burns Red's "Empire."

I answered almost all of the questions in math class, I made the best drawing in drawing, etc, etc.

Finally, it was lunch time.

This time, the cafeteria was much more packed. I got the exact same assortment of food as last time, and, once again, I sat with Nurse Ichor, chatting.

After lunch was over, Nurse Ichor announced that classes were over, and I could return to my room.

There's this awesome little reward system in which, if you do well in your classes and not kill any of the staff, you get these points which you can use to 'purchase,' customization for you cell.

Wow. This idea would make a really good RPG. Get to work Bethesda.

I did so well earlier that day that I got a bookshelf that was loaded with books, both fiction and non-fiction, a nice little rug, and a poster that featured the Royal Guard.

"Join Today!" it read.

Anyway, I was sitting on the floor (which was seriously more comfortable than my cot) and reading the first installment of the Daring-Do series when there was a knocking at my cell door.

I thought that was kind of pointless, seeing as it was locked from the outside, but I called, "Come in!," regardless.

The lock clicked and Nurse Ichor bounded in, "Guess whaaaat? You have a visitor!"

A visitor? Who the hell-

"John?" Standing in the doorway was Twilight Sparkle.

I was immediately over-run with guilt. I had threatened to take this poor unicorn's life for my own selfish fears. I couldn't even look her in the eye. What was she even here for?

"John."

"Yeah?"

I heard hoof-beats as she approached me.

She stood over me, I was still sitting cross-legged on the floor, for a few moments, and then swooped in and wrapped me in an hug. She was so small and soft, and she smelled like books. Surprise.

"John, I'm so sorry."

What was she apologizing for?

"What are you apologizing for, it should be me who's sorry..."

She pulled away and gave me a playful punch.

"You should be. You really scared me back there."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

Don't do it! Don't do it! Be a MAN John!

I couldn't. A single tears dripped from my cheek.

The Purple Unicorn smiled.

"Its okay John, I forgive you."

She embraced me yet again, and began to cry as well.

Nurse Ichor was letting it loose.

I may be in an Asylum, but, heck, at least I now I could live with myself somewhat.

Settling In

Settling In

We just sat there, on the floor, crying, tangled in one another's embraces for who knows how long. We finally broke away when Nurse Ichor cleared her throat.

Twilight pulled her soft neck away from mine, and looked at me for a moment or two.

"I'm still mad at you."

A playful punch.

I chuckled.

"And I'm still sorry," I retaliate.

Of course, that's not the end of her visit, we began to chat, and even Nurse Ichor joins in. The orderly is very talented when it comes to standing in one spot forever, without ever freaking blinking. Not once. I'm serious, I was expecting his eyes to ignite into giant bonfires of stinging pain, but he showed no signs of pain. Or boredom for that matter. Just a blank face. I'm pretty sure he might've been a robot of some sort.

Eventually, after many a shared laugh, we had to end the visit.

As Twilight got up to leave, she turned and looked my straight in the eyes.

"John," she said, "I know that you don't belong here. I am going to try and get you out of here with everything that I know."

I was silent for a few moments, then, "Twilight....I know I don't belong here either, but....what about Princess Celestia? I know she as a bit radical, but, if I can get out of here, what can we do to assure her that I am no threat?"

It was Twilight's turn to be silent.

"I...I don't know. I'll think of something."

I smiled.

"I believe in you Twilight. Let's get me out of here."

She smiled, and left. Robo-orderly and Nurse Ichor followed her. When the door shut, and locked, I sighed. I got up from the floor, climbed into bed, closed my eyes, and let the warm grips of slumber take me.

The next morning, Nurse Ichor, though I love her so, was tasked with the great feat of getting my lazy ass out of bed. She succeeded, sadly, and, when we were at the cafeteria again, she brought something up.

"Today, its going to be a teeny tiny bit different that yesterday."

"Oh? And how so?"

"Weeelll, instead of going to school-like classes, you are attending the class that's going to help you with your problems, not with your knowledge."

Darn. I was actually looking forward to those classes.

"So I'm actually going to see a therapist instead of teachers?"

"Yeppers."

"Am I correct in assuming that this switches every other day?"

She gave me a giant smile.

"You sure are smart."

She leaned over and rustled my hair.

Okay, I wonder what this is going to be like.

After breakfast, Nurse Ichor and a new orderly, though equally robotic, lead me down a different corridor. It took a while to get to our intended destination, and, the deeper that we went, the more I noticed that things were...darker.

This is the part of the asylum that I'm so frightened of. This is where people like Leatherface and Jack the Ripper go.

I caught a glimpse into one of the cells, and there was a pony chained to the walls.

I began breathing faster. I don't need to be here, I'm not a psychopath.

A maniac laugh echoed from somewhere.

I stopped walking.

I pressed myself against the cold, concrete wall, and began whimpering.

I heard Nurse Ichor mumble.

"Oh dear, I was afraid of this."

She carefully walked up to me, and peered up at me with caring eyes.

"I know this is scary, this is the high-security wing, but we're almost there. Come on, you can do it."

Her hoof slipped around my own hand and I began to feel safer.

Slowly, she peeled me from the wall and we began to walk further into the darkness, the only thing between a complete breakdown was the presence of the friendly Nurse. Robo-orderly two didn't make me feel much safer at all though.

Finally, we made it to a large door. There was an inscription on it, but I couldn't make it out.

I was taken through the doors, and into a large, circular room. In the center was a chair, and I knew that I was being watched from somewhere.

Ah, there, a mirror. Of course, it was actually a one-way window, but still.

Nurse Ichor let go of my hand, and left without a word. The orderly waited, and, when the Nurse was gone, he approached me.

I was a bit frightened, and backed away, but all he did was guide to the chair in the center of the room. When I was sitting, he went to the door and resumed robo-stance.

A doctor came in, and I noticed that he was the same one who had interviewed me a couple days ago.

"Hello." He said, kind of flatly.

"We are here today to try and learn more about that mind of yours. You gave Princess Celestia quite a scare there."

At the mention of the Princess, I tensed up.

"Yeah, then she threw me in here when I don't even belong here."

All he did was shrug.

"Well, regardless if your opinion, you're here."

I remained bitterly silent.

"So, Princess Luna peered into your dreams, and didn't like what she saw. You were killing things."

"Christ, it was a dream. Dreams do not interpret the person who is having them."

"Not directly, but you had to have at least seen that or something similar to give your mind something to make a dream out of."

I grit my teeth.

"I have seen something like that before. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not really from here. In my world, what I saw was a simulation."

"Simulation?"

"Yes. For entertainment, there is a very large industry who creates these simulations, which come in many forms. It is an alternate form of storytelling."

"From what I hear, these stories involve lots of violence."

"They can, and the ones that I like to partake of usually have violence in them, but, in my dreams, what the Princess's saw was the exact opposite of what I do, for the most part. You see, like I said, there are many forms of these simulations. Some of them force you to stick to a storyline of some sort, whereas others are a little more...open. When I participate in these simulations, I prefer not to take the lives of innocents, even if it is just a simulations of sorts."

"I..see"

It went on like this for hours. Me trying to prove myself not a homicidal psycho, the Doctor scribbling notes and nodding.

I was fighting for my freedom, and, not matter what, I was going to get it.

I Get Another Visitor

I Get Another Visitor

After that experience, I was more frustrated than afraid. How dare they! How dare they! I explained everything to them, everything, and yet just because I have a different mindset, I'm still in this damned asylum.

I was back in my room, pacing angrily. Yes, pacing angrily is perfectly possible.

It was late, but I could not sleep. I was simply far to outraged.

At least, not then. I eventually became tired enough, and feel into my cot, not even bothering to pull the blanket over my head.

The next morning, I was sick. I vomited several times. Because of this, I managed to shirk classes. Meals were brought into my room for me, and I was fed like a child; the nurse (not Ichor, sadly) spooned the muck into my mouth as if I were nothing but a child. It was infuriating, but there was nothing I could do about it. Every time I tried to protest, the Nurse simply tutted me and continued spooning the cold meal into me. It was tasteless.

An hour or so later, I vomited the meal up. I couldn't keep anything down.

What the heck was wrong with me?

As the time approached twelve (and I was about ready to kill myself) there came another knock to my cell door. Another useless knock. I didn't answer.

The door opened and what I saw there did not help my mood whatsoever.

It was Princess Celestia.

I was filled with anger. What was she doing here?

She looked...sad. Sort of guilt ridden. She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off.

"Save it."

The Princess closer her mouth and looked at the floor. It was silent ofr a long time. Celestia's mane and tail flowed endlessly, casting lights around the room.

Finally, she spoke again. This time I let her. Not like I could really do anything.

"John."

"Yyyyeah?"

She took a long, deep breath.

"John. You know why I sent you here in the first place?"

"Because I had a dream, a dream that I had no control over."

"...Yes. Yes I did, John."

I froze. What?

"I wanted to protect my kingdom and my subjects. I thought you a threat because of the things you had seen. I was afraid that you would slip, and perhaps plant a seed. I was afraid of that. I know see how blind I was."

I sat up, all of my attention on Celestia.

"John. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I thrust you deep into your worst fear, because I thought you insane. I now realize that there is more of a chance of your becoming insane if you were to be kept here."

"Princess....what are you saying...?"

"John. I said it once, and I shall say it again: I am sorry. I am here to take you away from here."

My eyes widened. I was surprised, but that surprised quickly turned to glee. Then guilt found its way into my heart.

"Princess. What about Twilight? I threatened her life. Are you sure you wanna let me go after I did something like that?"

She paused.

"Twilight visited you before me. And, if you have gotten to know her well enough before I did this to you, you will know that she sent me a report."

I smirked. Of course.

"She told me how sorry you were, how much you apologized. I also read the report from the asylum that reached me this yesterday. The doctors still think you a madcolt, but I know better. I realize what I did. And I'm sorry..."

Her voice faltered. She was beginning to cry.

"Princess. I don't know what to say..."

"Just be silent, young one, and come with me. I have already released you."

I smiled, and was just about to leap from my cot when I remembered how ill that I was.

"Um. Princess? I'm pretty sick....I can hardly move..."

She smirked and walked over. She was still huge.

"Be still."

She lowered her horn to my chest, and I went as stiff as a boner.

Suddenly, I was filled with energy. My sickness, gone, my tiredness, gone. I felt like I could take on the world.

I sprung out of bed, literally, and landed aside the Princess. She laughed a bit, and I did too.

We walked out the door, and everyone was looked at us. And there was Nurse Ichor.

"Wait."

I went over the Ichor, looked her deep in the eyes, (which were going misty, and her bottom lip was trembling) and practically attacked her with a hug.

She hugged me tight back.

"I know that I wasn't here for very long, but man you're awesome."

I set her down and practically had to dive out of range from her stream of tears.

She was waving, and I waved back.

Celestia and I were just about to reach the door when we rounded a corner and ran into-who else?-Twilight, he stared at us wide-eyed. She had a giant stack of paper in her magic.

She began to look back and forht between the two of us, then at her papers.

"P-p-Princess? John? What's going on here?"

Princess Celestia smiled and said, "John is free."

Twilight's eyes widened, if possible, even more, then they went into a deep scowl.

"Argh!" and the papers went flying.

"I had an entire load of evidence supporting the fact that you were not crazy, and now it was just a big waste of time!"

She looked angry, but, of course, I had to laugh. Soon, Celestia joined me, and then Twilight rolled her eyes and laughed along with us.

A golden aura surrounded the scattered papers and organized them into a neat pile, where they vanished.

"I have returned your work to your library. Now, let's go back to Ponyville and call Pinkie for a celebration."

The party was brilliant, of course, and even Celestia managed to have some fun, (with pranks, how else?) and, sadly, the party had to end. Spike was glad to see me back, and I went to bed.

The next morning was much like the last one spent here, excluding my institutionalization and hostage-taking of Twilight.

As was the next. And the next.

Eventually, we had to address the inevitable problem: how was I going to get home? I loved it here, but I just didn't belong, and we all knew that. Much research was done, but to no avail.

After my twelfth night in Equestria I woke up not in the library, but at home. I was laying on the floor. There was a pin in my head.

I sat up and was startled. Where was I? Then sadness dawned on me. Was it all a dream? My wonderful (and not-so-wonderful time spent in Equestria, all of it a fabrications of my mind?

It was as if I had never gotten any sleep: I was tired. Too tired, in fact, to think much further on the subject. I climbed into my real bed and slept hard. I dreamt of Twilight, of Princess Celestia, and of the wonderful world of Equestria.

The next morning, I was still on Earth, and I did some research. It was Saturday. I new episode of My Little Pony came out today!

I hurried over to my computer and opened YouTube. I found it and double-clicked on it. It was your standard episode, (this one was about Spike finally getting to spend some time with Rarity) but, at the end.after the entire cast shared a laugh, Twilight Sparkle, the purple unicorn, turned to the screen and winked.

It might have been just me, but I think I heard her say, "Goodbye John."

I consulted my other friends. They claimed that no such winking ever came from Twilight. Yet, every time I watched that specific episode, there it was.

Everything was back the way it was supposed to be, though sometimes I get quite nostalgic, I know I'm not crazy.

Am I?