1001 Equestria Nights

And They All Lived Happily Ever After

High noon was about to toll as two mares took their places across from each other, both ready to pull the first shot. Neither blinked as the uncomfortable minutes passed by. One blandished a knife, tightening her grip till her wrist turned red.

Shining Armor was pouring sweat as he watched Princess Celestia and his own mother staring daggers from across the dinner table. It didn’t help any that his father was sitting happily, gushing to Luna over how lovely the stars had been since her return. Couldn’t he see that war was about to break out right over the garlic bread. Oh Please Mother Mare! Save Me! He begged.

Even Cadence seemed oblivious to the crisis at hand. She just sat their daintily picking at her cherry blossom salad, smiling Tugging at his shirt color, Shining wondered how long it be before he caught the crazy.

He didn’t have to wait long. With a mix of anxiety and appetizers eaten out of nervous haste, Shining unceremoniously puked all over his mother-in-laws dinner. When he saw the mixing colors of pea green over bright yellow squash he promptly passed out onto the floor. A moment of shocked silence passed. It was broken by an angry growl.

“I knew it! I knew it all along! No doubt in my mind this would happen if Shining married into that family!”  Twilight Velvet burst out, pointing the blade of her butter knife at Celestia

“If something is bothering you Velvet” The sun princess saying the name with a hint of a venom” Lets step out and discuss this like grown - “

“Oh shut it!” Velvet hissed, her face twisted in disgust. “First our daughter, and now this! Nightlight stop flirting for one bucking moment and tell this mare -“

“What? What would you like to tell me little pony!”

“Oh no you didn’t! I am not one of your pathetic groveling subjects you…you….COW!

Luna and Nightlight back away slowly from the table. Celestia, whom had been trying very, very hard to resist the urge to set anyone on fire up till now, was shaking with the burning fury of her own sun. “HOW DARE YOU!” The Princess roared, wings flared out as she rose suddenly.

“HOW DARE I,” Velvet barked back. “WHAT’RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, HUH! SEND ME TO THE MOON! “

“WHY WASTE THE TIME AND DEPRIVE MYSELF THE PLEASURE OF CRUSHING YOU WITH MY OWN BARE HOOVES!”

“TOO BAD BECAUSE I’D LOVE TO SEE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE WHEN YOU EXPLAIN TO MY DAUGHTER WHY HER MOM IS STUCK ON A ROCK!” The two mares nose to nose as they passed their threats around.

“s-sister….”

“h-honey….”

“QUIET!” Velvet and Celestia snapped in unison, Celestia stomping her hoof on the table as she did so, making a potato loaded with butter take flight. Everyone stopped to watch as it arched through the air, landing smack dab in the middle of Cadence’s plate. The pink alicorn hummed as she picked up the salt shaker, sprinkling it over the spud before taking a bite

Relatives. What can you do?