Reversed Chaos

by operaticphantom

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Angel
Length: 17019

What if instead of turned to stone, Discord was turned into a child?......Oh this is gonna be goooooood.

What if, now bear with me now, Discord, instead of being turned into a stone by the Element of Harmony, was instead reverted into childhood? I came up with the idea wilst avidly checking the pages of the internet and carefully formula- Oh who am I kidding?!?!? I got bored and found a cute pic and decided to make THIS!!! (No i am not plagiarizing, I merely took inspiration from a photo...sheesh)

Published 2013-01-19 11:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-16 19:02:21 UTC

Where.... Am I?

Discord... was pissed.

And I don't mean the kind of pissed where something is slightly annoying, like a kid on a bus is crying. I mean the kind of pissed where your entire life's work (lets say the equivalent of the Mona Lisa) has just been destroyed in front of your eyes by six whining snot nosed brats!!!

Everything was going according to plan. Celestia and Luna were stuck in another dimension, helpless, and unable to come to the aid of any pony. Those..."bearers" were bickering at each other like newborn foals. He even had his old throne set up back in Ponyville, for Faust's sake!!! He liked that throne..... and a nice glass of chocolate milk, minus the milk... with extra explosions... But, backtracking aside, how in Faust's Name did he lose?!?!?!?!....Oh....wait...He got cocky and thought that the Elements of Harmony wouldn't affect him. That they were still under his spell.....Ugh, why did they have to go and spoil the mood?! He was only trying to have some fun.... Where was he anyway? All he could remember was the elements firing a....rainbow laser thing?... and a searing hot pain in his....everything... Strange, he didn't remember there being columns where he was for before....or even steps for that matter.. meh, might as well follow it and see where it goes. Better than sticking around this dump. As he climbed the stairs, Discords mind drifted off into his previous escapades: There was old Somby, and the whole Darkness and Evil magic thing going on... Wonder if he's still obsessed with crystals.... they tasted better than they looked...if you got past the whole "not meant to be eaten" thing... -sigh- He wondered if Celestia really did miss him... and Luna... dear, sweet Luna... He wished he could take it all back... He wished he had never succumbed to the madness... But then again, being boring and normal were a pain in the flank, and where was the fun in making sense?... He could really go for some cotton candy clouds right about now.

Eventually he reached the top, muttering to himself to show Sombra what it was like to fall down a flight.of those acursed things. When he looked he saw.... Celestia? DAFUQ?!
"OH, WHAT NOW CELESTIA?!?! ARE YOU HERE TO GLOAT THAT YOUR PRIZED PET JUST TURNED ME INTO STONE?!?! THAT I'M NOW STUCK IN THIS BORING LIMBO FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG?!?! ANSWER ME YOU HEARTLESS B*****!!!"

"I am not Celestia, draconequus" it spoke with one voice that somehow sounded like six, all unearthly and devoid of emotion... it sent shivers up Discords spine."I am the embodiment of the elements of harmony. The form I currently don is that of the current sun lord, as the previous generation was terminated in the last Millenium."

"... what?"

"-sigh- I'm the thing that shot the Purification bolt at you."

"You mean the rainbow hurty laser thing?"

"Indeed...sorry about the painful bit, but you were kind of a dick."

"Huh.... so, where exactly am I?"

"You are in the chamber of the elements, a place of potential redemption.... or damnation."

"Damnation? Woah woah woah, what kinda damnation we talkin' bout here?"

"The kind where you wish that you were a statue again."

The feeling of cold stone came back to discord. How his limbs ached with disuse, the cold winter months, the never ceasing boredom, and the terrible loneliness it brought... He would never go back there.

"...What is it you want?"

"A simple decision. Will you be willing to redo your mistakes, to start over, and try anew, or do you wish to remain as you are, all powerful, but with the weight of your sins still upon your shoulders?"

Without even batting an eye, Discord said "I want to change. I want to start over."

The spirit smiled "Very good. It seams that I was not wrong in offering you this chance. Now be warned, the process will be quite painful.... and you may be surprised at what you may find... but then again, its not like you'll remember this."
A wry grin spread across her face as she pointed her horn towards Discord, who only had enough time to say "Wait wh-" before a bolt of light pierced him, and he blacked out once again.

Lullabies and Broken Lamps

It was a typical day for Fluttershy: wake up, give angel his morning huggle and carrot, feed the pets, go into town, be frozen in fear for a couple hours, get food, go back home, tend to animals, tend to angel bunny, and go to bed. On this particular day, however, as she was on her way to the market, she noticed something...strange. Birds were hurriedly flying in all directions away from a certain spot in t-the... *gulp* Everfree F-forest. She was about to go, when she heard... was that... crying? Quickly she galloped into the forest, dodging low hanging tree branches and treacherous roots, moving faster to the source of the crying. When she finally reached the source of the crying, she was in the middle of a small clearing. As she looked around for the source of the crying she saw, laying in a little heap, something that looked like a...Draconequus? OH DEAR CELESTIA, LUNA AND GALAXIA!! Discord was back!! She had to go warn the others, but before she could go, something stopped her.. It was the sound of crying... the little draconequus was crying. Fluttershy want over to his side, and covered him with her wing. "*sniff*...*sniff*... M-mama?"

"Shhhhhh... It's okay little one. No one's going to hurt you."
And then she began to sing to the child, just like her mother had sung to her. A little lullaby that she knew well.

The little draconequus's crying slowly faded away, replaced by his soft snoring, as he snuggled close to the singing yellow pegasus. as she finished her song, she looked at his sleeping form, and knew, in her heart that she could not send him away... She couldn't condemn an innocent creature to such torture. She had to protect him. Sh had to -RRRRRRRROOOOOOAAAAARRRR- Discord's stomach rumbled.
.... feed him first.
~

~
Thankfully =, nopony had seen her take the little lord of chaos back to her tree, so she was safe for now. First, she had to get to the kitchen, but before she could even take a step, Angel Bunny leaped at her, screaming (in his own way) why she hadn't brought him food.
"Oh, I know you're mad Angel, bu-"
".........."(Just think of the nastiest curse words you can think of being said in adorable little voice, and you'll have Angel's way of talking)
"I know I promised you I'd make you your special carrot sundae, but you se-"
"................"
"But I-"
"..............-"
"ANGEL!!! DO NOT MAKE ME USE THE STARE!!"

Angel decided that it was best to shut up and stay quiet, and hope to Celestia that he wouldn't end up in the cone of shame....*shiver* everycritter watching you, mocking you, their staring into the back of your head, mocking you for the idiot you look like, how they treat you as if you have no power... he didn't want that again. No one deserved that kind of torture, not even the lowest of criminals.

After taking care of the "Angel" situation, Fluttershy moved on to the kitchen, unaware of the bunny's traumatic flash back, or her new resident curiously crawling towards the flustered white bundle of fluff, unaware of the doom and destruction slowly approaching him.

"What should I feed him? Well he's a baby, so probably milk will do... now where can I find a bot-"

*CRASH*

"Angel?! Discord?!"

Fluttershy rushed into the living room, expecting to find the worst, Discord crushing Angel, Angel hitting Discord, but what she saw instead made her heart stop....
there, in the middle of the room, stood an angry Angel Bunny, a whimpering Discord, and a broken lamp.

"ANGEL. BUNNY."

oh no.

Visiters at the Door

Have you ever had your life flash before your eyes? Every mistake you've made, every achievement you've ever had, all of it just go through your mind with perfect clarity?
Well Angel was having one of those moments. As he backed up against the wall, all of his old memories came back to him: The day Fluttershy first took him home, the day he ate his first carrot, the day he got into his first fight, the first time he was put in the cone of shame, the first time Fluttershy had used THE STARE *shiver*, the first time he bullied Fluttershy... the first time his heart was broken. All of these memories, happy and sad, came up again. You see, that was the power of the Stare; it brought back all that you were ashamed of, and forced you to re experience them. Granted, someponies could resist it, but only the most egocentric could even hope to achieve that.

So when Angel backed up against the wall in tears, one could hardly blame him. In fact, the spectacle would have moved even the most stony-hearted of ponies to tears.... Unfortunately, he had a pissed of Fluttershy in front of him.... Basically that's like trying to argue with a statue; you can't win. Believe me I've tried. WOAH!!!

Dafuq was that?

Moving on. So where was I..... Oh right! Angel in the wake of pissed Fluttershy...I do not envy him.

"Angel... I am going to be very... very... patient now. You have exactly ten. seconds. to explain yourself. Go."

"....................!!!"

"You're innocent? Prove it Angel!"

".............."

"He attacked you?! YOU!! A bunny twice his age, and stronger than him, were attacked by this widdle baby dwaconequus?
He probably just wanted a hug. A hug. And you hit him with a lamp...... You ashamed of yourself Angel."

"Mama....*sniff*"

"Oh, come here Discord. Its okay. Fluttershy won't let anything happen to you. Now lets get you all cleaned up and fed."

As Fluttershy picked up the little Discord, Angel thought that now might be a good time to make like a tree and leaf, but before he could even take a single step, he was stopped dead in his tracks by what he saw.
The room was turning darker, and darker, and somehow, the room had dropped to a near freezing temperature. Angel could wear he could see his breath. All of this was fairly frightening, but not nearly as nightmare inducing as what came next.

"Oh Angel, I hope you weren't going to leave. We still have to talk about your......punishment."

eep.

Baby Discord hurt. all he wanted to do was hug the cute little white fluffy thing....it looked so soft. But when he huggled it from behind, it yelped, and grabbed a big round thing and then his head hurt... He didn't think the white thing liked him very much. That mad him sad, and Discord began to cry. The first he had tried to say hi to, and it had made him hurt. Fluttershy, looked down at the crying Discord with pity and tried to dry his tears.

"What's wrong Discord? Does your head hurt?"

Discord Shook his head

"Where does it hurt then?"

Discord pointed to his chest

"Oh Discord, is it about Angel? Don't worry, he'll warm up to you eventually. You just have to give him time."

Discord giggled, which brought a smile to Fluttershy's face. All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door. Fluttershy froze.

"W-who is it?"

IT IS I, GENTLE FLUTTERSHY, THY PRINCESS LUNA"

"oh dear"

Author's Note

Sorry about the wait. Due to school, illness, and other such things, I have been rather busy. I will also tryt to get the chapters close to 1000 words per chapter.....*gulp*

Luna's Lullaby

The villagers with flaming pitchforks. The fields writhing in great red flames. Panic and anarchy. Ponies trampling one another in the streets. CHAOS! DESTRUCTION!! SOMEONE GOING IN HER SHED!!!... (who's secrets must never be revealed)!!!
These were only a few of the images that flashed through Fluttershy's mind when she heard Luna at the door.

"Fluttershy? Art thou alright?"

"y-yes! W-why wouldn't I be? hehehehe"

Fluttershy quickly put Discord on the floor, hiding him behind a couple sacks of flower.
"Don't worry" She whispered. "Mama will be right back."
"Gah." Was Discords only reply.

"S-so, Princess Luna, um, what bring you here?"

"Well, we were wondering if thou wouldst let us in. We are sorry for the lack of announcement, but we had a sudden urge to meet with you again. We desire thy opinion on a case that one of our dear subjects imparted to us in our Night Court."

"O-oh of course. Are more ponies seeking your council?"

At this Luna puffed out her chest in pride.

"Yes dearest Fluttershy. Your advice on this, gentleness is most effective. As, such I would greatly like to discuss with you the complaints of a -"

*FOOMP*

There was sudden explosion of white powder EVERYWHERE!!!...I mean everywhere!! The walls, the ceiling...even the inside of the Critters' homes...... It looked like Pinkie Pie had tried to entertain twenty foals at once with her flour trick.
HEY!! Don't blame me, I wasn't even there....although...It would be kinda fun to see what would happen I babysat widdle Discord...... Maybe I'll show up soon..... *giggle* Bye funny lookin author!

I.......I don't even..... Is she still there?
Of course silly!
GAH!!.....You're gonna continue popping in aren't you....
*giggle* OF course. Any chance to mess with the creator of this Story.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH......Please...*pant* *pant*.... Just let me finish this one chapter.
Okie Dokie Lokie ^-^

I-is she gone?.....okay... So where were we.... Oh yeah, Flour bomb.....*ahem*

"FLUTTERSHY GET BACK! There is some trickery afoot. I shall go investigate the source of the trouble."

"Oh nononono, you don't have to. Let m-"

"NONSENSE Fluttershy. It is my duty to protect my subjects. Stay here. I shall go."
Oh no, thought Fluttershy, as Luna ventured towards the kitchen. Any second now she's gonna see hi-

"FLUTTERSHY!! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!!!"

-sigh- here we go.

"Yes Luna?"

"Dearest Fluttershy, why is the Lord of Chaos in your kitchen, and as a child no less?!"

"W-well, I kinda....found him...and took him home."

"WHAT?!"

"I couldn't just leave him!!"

Fluttershy, this is Discord!! The lord of Chaos. We should immediately inform the other Elements and turn him to stone."

"NO....I won't do that. Not to a child. Nopony deserves to feel that kind of anguish a third time.....especially a child"

"But he is DISCORD! He could be playing you for a fool!"

"Maybe so, but I am standing by my choice." With that Fluttershy placed herself between Luna and the kitchen.

The room began to darken, and ethereal mists wafted through the walls. Luna's eyes glowed white hot, and power began surging through her horn.

"Very well, Fluttershy. We are sorry, but thou dost leave us no other choice. FACE THE WRATH, OF THE LUNAR PRI-"

With a cry of "MAMA!!!", baby Discord threw himself between the enraged Goddess of the Moon, and his foster mother, with tears in his eyes, trembling furiously.

This.....this was not what the Lunar Princess had predicted.
She had thought that the spirit of Chaos was still up to his old tricks, and merely pretending to be an infant, but he truly was an infant. This shook the princess to her core. She was about to sentence a CHILD to its doom. The fading died down, and the mist dissipated. Fluttershy sighed in relief as she saw everything return to normal. Luna's head was bowed, and tears were escaping from her eyes. Except for the quiet sobs of the Princess, all was silent.....Until...

Discord cried

Discord heard strange shouting from the big blue pony with the funny looking mane. wait... she was shouting at Mommy! About him!, And mommy stepped in front of him...what was she doing?...
Why is the room getting darker? Mommy? What is happening? Mommy?!?! Why are the scary pony ladies eyes glowing?

He had to protect mama. So Discord flung himself in front of his protector, fear threatening to make him run, but he had to defend his mama. Then the scary pony stopped being scary. The room got brighter, and her eyes weren't so glowy. And then he broke down crying, because he had been afraid. Afraid that his mama would be taken away from him. Because he thought he would be alone again. Then the pony with the funny mane looked up at him, tears in her eyes, and nuzzled him.
Then she began to sing a song to Discord.....a song they had shared once long ago...

After a while, Discord began to stop crying, and became enraptured with the song, growing more and more drowsy, until his little head was hitting chest. His last thoughts before sinking into unconsciousness, was when in the hell would he get that bottle.

It had been one hour since the Lunar Princess had sung Discord to sleep, and she still held the baby draconequus close to her chest, rocking him back and forth. She gazed on his face and noted that he was very adorable as a baby. A brief image of a monster rose to the surface of her mind, but she quickly repressed it. No, he was not like that anymore.

"We wish to thank you Fluttershy, for allowing us to right this wrong we committed on this little one, and thyself. We have not felt at peace for quite some time."

"Its alright. I do have one question for you princess; you said you shared that song with him a long time ago....what happened between you two?"

"That is for another time, dear friend. This one is in dream land, and it is my job to assure he receives no nightmares tonight. I shall be leaving now."
As the princess walked towards the door, she Halted.
"Fluttershy?" she asked

"Yes, what is it?"

"Do you think we could play with the little one another time?" She asked hesitantly

"Of course. I do have one condition however; You must not tell anypnoy else about Discord. I don't want Equestria to fall into chaos."

"As you wish Fluttershy. We swear on the sacred moon to not tell a single soul."

"Thank you. Now I have to get Discord to bed. Goodnight Luna."

"Goodnight dearest Fluttershy."

And with with that, the door closed, and as Fluttershy put Discord to bed, the last thought that went through her head before she fell on her bed where....

"How in Equestria am I gonna fix the kitchen?"

Author's Note

So so so so so so so sorry this took so long to get out. I just wanted to make sure it was super special awesome, because I had delayed it already. I lurve you all so much. And yes there is going to be more Luna in the story

The Draconequus' outta the Bag

The day was sunny, with only a few clouds in the sky, a vast expanse of blue, a sea, with the occasional white floating whale drifting by, greatly contrasted by the vast field of green, extending out in all directions, with a tree off to east, able to provide shade if needed. The sun, shining bright, left it's warmth on the earth, but a slight breeze hung in the air, rustling the leaves of the tree and cooling the current occupants of a checkered blanket, adding to the gaiety of the occasion. The food spread out across it's red and white surface varied greatly, from homely apple pie and salads, to exquisite quiches and eclairs, all perfuming the air with a myriad of scents, sweet and tantalizing.
The six companions sitting on said blanket were enjoying the food, the weather, and talking of recent events in their separate, yet connected lives; a new litter of baby bunnies were born, the south field had been subject to minor flooding, Saphire Shores had asked for 10 new dresses, the wonderbolts auditions were coming up soon, Sugar Cube Corner was getting an expansion due to a surplus of customers, and the library had had a recent scare of termites. It was a nice day...peaceful...quiet...that is, until a certain pink maned mare said, a bit too loudly "So when are we going to the meet baby Discord, Fluttershy? "
All at ounce the earth stood still. The birds stopped their chirping. The wind stood still. All other conversations ground to a halt, as all heads in the immediate vicinity jerked towards the yellow pegasus, their eyes wide, and jaws hitting the ground. Only one simple thought went through Fluttershy's mind at this point:
"Oh buck."

A pair of glowing yellow eyes with red pupils peaked from behind a dresser intently focused on their quarry, which, as luck would have it, was completely unaware of its would be assassin. The fierce hunter slowly padded forward, silent as death itself, inching closer to his prey. The time had come for him to receive that which he had long denied himself. He crouched, positioning himself for the kill.....he waited, tail twitching, as he knew the time drew near. Then the blood-lust was on him, and he knew what he had to do. He leapt into the air with a vicious (adorable) roar, and with his razor sharp teeth...er, tooth, he bite down savagely into the neck of his prey, the one known as Mr. Fluffy, who, with a rubberized squeak, went limp in his mouth....Discord then proceeded to chew on the rubberized bunny rabbit for a few more times, happily letting out a childish giggle at each squeak. But just as he was about to once and for all end the life of his worthy adversary, the wall exploded....What were you expecting more? Well no, the wall just exploded......And then his mommy came out of the hole. "I'm gonna show momma what I caught" thought Discord happily, so he went to nuzzle his "mamma's" face and then a giant purple unicorn burst through the hole shouting at him, slapping him away from his mommy and pointing her horn at him, which was about to summon the mother of all fireballs right at the little draconequus' face. Because of all this, Discord did the only thing a little child could and would really do in this kind of situation... He started to scream.

Twilight Sparkle was confused. I mean, this was the lord of chaos right? Surely he was just pulling a prank right?....right?! Why is he still crying?......uh oh....Don't tell me he's actually a child again....Oh my Celestia, I was about to-......What have I done?
"Fluttershy I...I'm so so-"

"You...made....Discord...cry?! DIDn't I sAy hE WaS FIne?!?! ThaT hE woULDn't hUrT aNYPOny?!?! aND yOu mADe hIM CRY?!?! I WILL KILL YOU TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!!!!!!

Now might be a good time to run......fast.

Twilight had faced down a manticore, Nightmare Moon, Discord, several Dragons, Chrysalis, and countless other foes....and none of them were as terrifying as the literal Hurricane of Rage she had just unleashed that was Fluttershy pissed off. As Twilight tore through the town, she heard gasps coming from behind her, followed by screams of fear and pain, and unsettling crunching sound she didn't want to think about. She made the mistake of looking behind her, and it almost stopped her dead in her tracks; Fluttershy's normal soft blue eyes had become blood red, her mane disheveled, and her coat was almost the color of fire... that is if you could see past the blood on it. It chilled Twilight to the bone, and prompted her to put on a burst of speed. Unfortunately, as she was looking behind her when doing so, so that when she stepped on the gas, she didn't notice the wall coming up in front of her till it was too late.
*WHAM*
"Oooh, pretty stars."
And then Fluttershy caught up with her....
Twilight saw her life flash before her eyes. Who would look after Spike when she was gone? Would keep track of the library, and make sure that her checklists for her checklists were completed? Who would explain to the princess why she was TARDYYYYY.
"OHCELESTIAI'MSOSOSORRYPLEASEDON'TKILLME!!!"
"Hurt you? Oh goodness, why would I want to do that?"
"You mean you DON'T want to rip out my entrails and use them to make a hammock?"
"What?! No!! Why would I want to do that?!"
"Because You're mad at me. I made Discord cry."
"Oh no, I just wanted you to apologize to him."
"T-thats it? Just say 'I'm sorry?'"
"Yes.....for now
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Now lets get back to Discord before Pinki-"
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMM A giant white mushroom cloud exploded over Fluttershy's house.
"-sigh- Too late."

Author's Note

I advise turning the brightness to semi dark to see the text better. And YAYZ new chapter =A=

Barrels of Laughs

A crying baby on a plane. Nails on a chalkboard. The sounds of suffering coming from the nearby hell pit known as Tartarus. These were some of the things that were preferable to Discord's crying. It echoed across the walls, down the halls, through the rafters and ceiling, and permeated throughout the entire town. On that day, it was said that a faint wailing could be heard all the way from Appleloosa to the Dragon's sacred Dueling Grounds, and all who heard it trembled in fear, for it was the sound that harrowed a great doom, a ringing of a bell to announce the coming storm... Or it was just really weird to hear a baby crying out of nowhere.

Anyway, getting back to little Discord, there four ponies who had the unfortunate experience of having to experience a Discord wail first hand. And let me tell you..... that aint something to laugh at.

"Ugh how do we make this little freak shut up? Seriously I'll never be able to nap with all this racket!"

"I'm not sure darling, and do you really think you should use the term "freak" to describe him? He is only a child Rainbow. I hardly believe that such uncouth language should be used in the presence of an infant. But I do think we should try and put an end to that awful racket. However, I am not entirely sure of what to do, as I What do you think Applejack?"

"I dunno Rares. I dunno much 'bout raisin children, as Granny Smith was thu one that done raised my brother, sister, 'n me. I guess the only one outa all of us who has any experience foal sitting would be..."

At this, all heads in the group sharply snapped up and pointed towards where a certain pink mare had been. Confused at the disappearance of their bubbly lovable friend, they looked around until they realized she was, in fact behind them, staring at the place she had previously occupied, looking around to find the missing mare who was, in fact, herself.

"Pinkie!!" came a threefold resounding cry

"What?"

"Please darling, would you mind baby-I mean foalsitting Discord.....why did I say that....the heck is a baby?"

"Sure :3. But why can't you guys stay and help me?"

"Oh well.. I've got er...Dresses to make. Yes. Dresses. Lots of them."
"A-and Ah've got apples to buck...so many apples."
And I gotta napImean train for the wonderbolts....yeah...train...hehheh."

They say that the eyes are a pathway into the soul. That you can tell if someone is lying just by looking into their eyes, or you can rack them with soul crushing guilt. The pinkie stare, or as some people called it "The Heart Wrencher", bored into her three compatriots and made them sink into themselves slightly. Now Pinkie wasn't stupid. She knew her friends were lying. She didn't mind that, but she'd rather they just tell the truth, so she used the pinkie stare, to let them know....she knew.

"Okie Dokie Loki" she responded cheerily

As her friends left hastily, she closed the door behind them, and her eyes flashed a cold blue, her hair deflated, and she said, in a murderous tone "fools." And with that her eyes were once again a gentle blue, her mouth a wide shiny grin, and her hair as curly as cotton candy.
"Whew. That was close. Almost became negapinkie for a second. Now lets see, how should I solve this problem?....hhmmm This calls for extreemmme measures. PINKIE PIE STYLE!!!

"Oh Diiiiscoooord. Look at your auntie Pinkie." said a strange pink...thing.

"-sniffle- Gah?"

"That's right. Now where's Pinkie Pie?" And with that, the creature put her hooves over her face and disappeared.
What deviltry is this? Some form of magic? Where has she gone? thought Discord. All of a sudden she reappeared , shouting:

"HERE I AM!!"

This, understandably, shocked the little draconequus so much that he started to cry. This sent Pinkie into a panic, desperately trying almost everything in her repertoire; from the oinkie piggy song, to breaking the laws of physics and the fourth wall, almost causing the universe to collapse, all to get him to smile, and chuckle just once, and still, the little child screamed.
Then Pinkie had a feeling of dread in her gut, and she knew that, if anything, Discord was like Pound cake and Pumpkin cake. And she had to pull out her last trick of all. The mother of all party tricks..... The Flower Shower. Just thinking of trying to wash the flour out of her mane sent shivers down her spine, but she had to do it, if she wanted him to smile. So with that, she rushed into the kitchen, grabbing any and all sacks of flour she could find. Struggling back with her heavy pay load to the room where the little God of Chaos was wailing. She loaded her flour into her party cannon and pulled it close to her.

"Hey Discord..... Surprise!!"

And with that (read:awesome) one-liner, Pinkie fired the cannon. The resulting explosion was a cataclysmic as the princess's most powerful magic flare. It was thing of beauty, and great power, with the harsh nature of a lioness from the kill, primal and full of terrible awe. It shook the town and the cities about 1000 miles around it as a level 6 earthquake. Even Cloudsdale was affected, almost falling apart at the seams. It was said a great white cloud be seen in the ancient Buffalo stomping grounds, and that the Great Drake, father of all dragons, took it as a sign as the beginning of the end. You know what, here's a picture:

Yeah....that's what happened
As the ringing died down from Pinkie Pie's ears, she noticed a certain sound that wasn't there before. Discord was Laughing! FINALLY! Pinkie pie gave an exasperated sigh at the huge amount of effort she had taken to get this sound. If one were to look at her, it would appear like this:

However, this look of frustration eventually broke into a smile as Pinkie Pie raised a hoof to the sky (as there was no ceiling now) and proclaimed
"NAAAAIILLLEEDD IIITTT!!!!"

Meanwhile, in Canterlot: Celestia was having a good morning for once. The Appleloosa settlement was prospering, the Situation with the Staliongrad leaders looked to be calming down, and she had a nice...succulent...moist piece of cake on her plate. As she levitated towards her mouth, slightly drooling with anticipation, an earth-shattering boom resounded about Canterlot, shaking her concentration, knocking the cake from her telekinetic grasp. She watched in horror as it crashed to the floor.
"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO" cried the heartbroken monarch. Maybe she could salvage it a little bit. Just one bite, just one. But as she was about to try and pick up her beloved, the doors crashed open and Blazing Wall, her chief administrator of Defense crashed into her room, crushing her slice of cake. Celestia stared crestfallen at the place where her godly treat had lane, under the hooves of her Commander. The room began to heat up, her eyes began to glow red, and the full fury of the fun began to gather in her horn.
"Captain" she said "This had better be important."

By now the commander had realized the gravity of the situation. He had stepped on Celestia's cake... This was enough for him to be torn asunder by rabid timber wolves. But what he had to say was of utmost urgency. So, bracing himself, he looked his leader in the eyes and said
"You have to follow me Princess."

Celestia was about to bring down the fury of the Sun upon him, but the pain and devastation in his eyes told her that she was needed badly.
"Lead the way."

There was an observation deck once used for royal proclamations. It was there that Celestia saw, wide-eyed, the destruction that had been hinted in Blazing's eyes. The fields were shaken askew, with trees toppled over, houses caved in, nearby cities with smoke rising from fires she knew were erupting, amd even the pristine city of Canterlot hadn't gone unscathed, with several sections of the city in ruins, flames licking at the thatched roofs, Nobles homes cracked and broken, hurt ponies limping everywhere. Yet none of this was what she focused on. What she, and what kept her attention, was the great white mushroom cloud emanating from Ponyville, still rising from the town, her mouth agape from the sheer size and strength of the thing before her.

"Princess, what are your thoughts on this?" Blazing Wall asked

All she could reply with, was:

Author's Note

To all of you who are followers/favoriteers, I am sososososososo sorry for delaying so long. I tried to make this extra special for you all.
For those of you who are new, hop you have fun.

Pinkie Pie Time

Pure unadulterated fear coursed through his veins, giving him a burst of speed to put more distance between him and the monster at his back. As he skittered into the room, his eyes frantically glanced about in all directions, desperately hoping for some place to hide, anything to use as a shield between him and that nightmarish creature he had once considered his friend. Yet the room before him was barren of any suitable hiding locations, and as he was about to bolt from the room, the door slowly creaked open, and a sudden voice came from behind him that froze him to the core: "Thhhheeerrreeeee you are Dddddiiissccooorrrddd.

...........
Oh Celestia, Luna, Galexia, and Necrosis, I must have been particularly cruel to puppies in a previous life to deserve this kind of punishment! thought Discord. Wait...is she...is she getting closer?....oh no....No......NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. A resounding shriek of fear and terror resounded across Ponyville, until it was silenced, with an abruptness as quick and as sudden as death.....

Oh I'm sorry. I brought you here out of context didn't I? And now you think that Discord is.... Shoot, I really need to work on my introductions to stories. Well, How about I take you back to the beginning, when everything was still normal....for a baby god of chaos that is.

~2 hours earlier~

"Oh thank you Pinkie. I know its on short notice, but there's a family of beavers who need help delivering a their kits. I hope you understand."

"No problemo Fluttershy! I'm happy to help my friends whenever they need it. Now go and go help those Beavers."

"Oh thank you Pinkie. Bye Discord, be good you hear me?"

"GAH!"

And with that, Fluttershy left, unwittingly sentencing the little Discord to torment and suffering.

"Oh Discord, I'msohappyFluttershyaskedmetobabbysityoucuzIknowamilliongameswecanplayanditsgonnabesomuchfunandawesome. But I am a responsible Pinkie Pie, and its now lunch time. So lets get to cooking."

"Gah" came the happy response.

"Just leave it to me, and your ol' Auntie Pinkie will whip up a scrumdidlyumptios meal for ya. Now what does a baby draconequus eat? Fluttershy forgot to tell me.... Oh well, this just calls for CHEF PINKIE!!! for the rescue."
"GAH"
And with that she grabbed a blender and began gathering ingredients.

"OOh lets get some sardines. That'll be good for the cat part of you... I think. Oh and Some spinach, can't forget the pony part of you. And speaking of pony, why don't we add an extra juicy sweet red apple from Sweet Apple Acres? Everypony likes those ^-^. OOH and why don't I add someallfalfaandmilkandhoney!andoatmealsomepigsmeatsugarflour(addittothemix)lemonsoulsofthedamnedbitsofthefourthwalland a CUPCAKE!!!! AND PRESS!"

with the addition of each ingredient, Discords face fell a little more each time, and his face became greener than grass. What in Tartarus is that mare doing? Why is she putting all those funny foods together? Why is she pressing that button?

*VOOOOOOOOAAAAHHHHHH*

Are those things even supposed to be eaten together? I think I'm gonna be sick...wait...is she seriously going to make me eat this? This is a joke right? W-why is she coming closer?! OH BUCK NO!!! NO DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!!! THIS IS A MADHOUSE!!!MAAAADDDDHHHOOOUUUSSSEEEE!!!!

"*giggle* Come here Dissy, its time to eat."

*hop**hop**hop**hop*

"Don't you run away form me mister! You are eating your meal, and going to like it! How else will you grow to be big and menacing. Then again, it'd be nice if you stayed small and cute. But you have to grow up to be big and strong. But then you might make chaos. But Fluttershy told me t-.....Where did you go?"

During Pinkies famous self ramblings, Discord had slipped out of his high chair and hid behind the staircase, hoping against all hope that Pinkie wouldn't find him. He peeked around the corner and saw nothing. He sighed in relief.

"Whatcha lookin for?"

Discord froze, and slowly turned his head to look at Pinkie, who was quizzically looking at where he had been glancing. Then an evil grin spread across her face.

"Now open wiiiiidddeee."

"Gah (No!!)"

"You will eat this food you dragonponygoatbatthing!!!"

"GAAAHH (NNNOOOOO!!!)"

At that, Pinkie lunged forward, determined to get him to eat. Discord leapt to the right, flicking his tail and sending the green unholy gunk into Pinkies face. Both stared at what happened, open mouthed in shock.

"Discord....YOU WILL EAT THIS!!!"

And at that Discord fled upstairs.....

Pure unadulterated fear coursed through his veins, giving him a burst of speed to put more distance between him and the monster at his back. As he skittered into the room, his eyes frantically glanced about in all directions, desperately hoping for some place to hide, anything to use as a shield between him and that nightmarish creature he had once considered his friend. Yet the room before him was barren of any suitable hiding locations, and as he was about to bolt from the room, the door slowly creaked open, and a sudden voice came from behind him that froze him to the core: "Thhhheeerrreeeee you are Dddddiiissccooorrrddd.

...........
Oh Celestia, Luna, Galexia, and Necrosis, I must have been particularly cruel to puppies in a previous life to deserve this kind of punishment! thought Discord. Wait...is she...is she getting closer?....oh no....No......NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. A resounding shriek of fear and terror resounded across Ponyville, until it was silenced, with an abruptness as quick and as sudden as death.....

Author's Note

Based on the picture by Anima Dos http://browse.deviantart.com/art/Baby-Discord-02-Nutritious-and-delicious-286038131

And yes. I did just end it in a cliffhanger. Because I'm EVIL!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The Horned One

Pinkie and Discord sat there staring at at the object before them, and where it was placed. One in surprised shock that it had managed to get in there, the other in frozen fear at how it had gotten there........ that sounds wrong. They were staring at the spoon in Discords mouth......perverts, the lot of you. Somehow, Pinkie had been able to jam it down his throat and he had swallowed what was inside....I DID IT AGAIN!!! NNNNOOOOOOOO.....*sigh* Just...just let me die in peace *sob*....

Is...is it in my mouth? OH GOD I CAN FEEL IT GOING DOWN MY THROAT!! IT TASTES LIKE DEATH!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"GGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH" was all that Pinkie heard.

"Oh Dissy do you want some more? Here you go."

and with that she shoved the green unholy goop into Discord's mouth. His eyes widened, his face turned green, and he began to retch, clawing at his tongue and mouth, anything to get the green goop out of his mouth, and to banish the taste to the mooooooooooooooon.

"GAK...GAK... GAK"

"Gak? What's that Dissy? Um....Dissy?

While Discord had been retching, a wind was picking up around him, picking him up and holding him off the ground. His eyes began to glow a red akin to that of the flames of Tartarus, and as he opened his mouth, it seemed as if a thousand voices

"WE ARE THE VOID OF ALL DESTRUCTION. THE DARKNESS OF THE NIGHT. THE VOID, THE RIFT, THE EVIL IN ALL PONIES SOLES!!! WE ARE CHAOS INCARNATE!!!!

The shadows in the room began to lengthen, and grow twisted and warped. the lights began to dim and glow a hellish red. And still the multitude of voices carried on.

"..... um giiiirls... you might wanna come in here for a second."

"Sue Pinkie, what is i-.......Pinkie......what did you do now?"

"Nothing Twilight! Honest! He just started doing this after I fed him some of that green stu-....ooooohhhhhh....I done goofed didn't I?"

"You done goofed."

"RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH"

"Uh-oh"

"Come on, girls, we have to get the Elements! TO THE TREE HOUSE!!!"

"Whew, we did it Twi. I can't believe he summoned a pack ah rabid sharkdogs to attack us."

"Yeah, and the way Fluttershy took down that mountain troll was totally AWESOME."

"If anypony missed out on seeing that, why then they'd regret it for the rest of their lives."

"Aaaawwww, but what about the readers?"

"The whatnow?"

"Oh nothing *wink*"

Just as the silence in the room was about to get awkward, Discord just BURST THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE CTHULHU HIMSELF WITH SHADOW TENTACLE WITH EYES AND OH DEAR GOD ITS BURNED INTO MY RETINAS!!!

"This is my domain Ponies, and you shall kneal before me. Even your puny god Celestia can't match my power, for I was here before this Universe even existed.

"You can't have come from before the universe. That's impossible."

"Is that YOUR religion?"

"It's a belief."

"You know nothing. ALL of you. So small: The leader, so scared of command."

"B-but..what?"

"The farmer, haunted by the eyes of her parents."

"How in tarnation?"

The healer, still running from Daddy.

"W-what?"

"The speedy little mare who lied to her father, desperate for his acceptance."

"I didn't....I never...*sniffle*"

"The virgin."

"HOW DARE YOU, YOU RUFFIAN!!!"

And the lost pony, so far away from home. The valiant mare, who will die in battle so very soon, never to see her family again...

"Twilight, what does that mean?"

"Don't listen to him Pinkie!"

"WHAT DOES IT MEAN!!!"

"You will die, and I will live." "

With each remark, each of the mane six had began to shiver in fear, the color slowly draining from their coats, and theirs losing all hope.... They had all fallen before the Lord of Darkness and Chaos.... all but one pink mare.

"C'mon girls, all we have do is believe in each other, and we can do anything."

"Each of you is powerless against me. How can you defeat me, when you can't even defeat your own fears! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!"

"You're wrong Discord. We will defeat you!"

"And how can you do that? Your resolves are broken, and your wills are shattered. This is the darkness. This is my domain. You little things that live in the light, clinging to your feeble friends, who betray you in the end... You will bow before me or be destroyed."

"We still have each other, And I know they will never betray me. They've proven to me that I can always put my trust in them." she glanced back at her greying friends "No matter what secrets they may wish to keep."

With each word her friends regained their color, and their elements began to radiate a white hot glow, tendrils of magic snaking out between each of the bearers, until all were connected. They rose as one and their eyes glowed an ethereal white, and when they spoke, they spoke as one. Discords mind began to panic, as he knew what was happening. Desperately, he threw orbs of darkness towards them hoping that one would fall, but to no avail. The Elements were charged, and they were about to pass their judgement.

"Discord" they said, "You shall be cleansed in the light of friendship and harmony. Prepare for your punishment foul Beast."

"I AM THE RAGE AND THE VILE AND THE VORACITY. I AM THE PRINCE AND THE FALLEN. I AM THE ENEMY, I AM THE SIN AND THE FEAR AND THE DARKNESS.I SHALL NEVER DIE. THE THOUGHT OF ME IS FOREVER; IN THE BLEEDING HEARTS OF PONIES, IN THEIR VANITY AND OBSERCRATE AND LUST. NOTHING SHALL EVER DESTROY ME. NOTHING!!! "

" Go to Tartarus." they said as one, and with that they fired a bolt of harmony (hurty rainbow laser thing) right into Discords fiery maw. A resounding explosion shook the very earth for miles around, causing 10.0 earthquakes on the rector scales, reducing the library and the shops nearby to rubble. Towns collapsed like dominoes, one after another, fires erupted from broken gas mains, and far far away, you could hear a distant NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOT AGAIN!! from a certain distraught immortal Sun goddess.

-Meanwhile, back in Ponyville-

"Wow Pinkie, I didn't know you had that much faith in all of us."

"Oh of course silly. I'll always trust you guys."

E-even if we don't always tell you everything?

"Well duh Fluttershy. I mean, everyone has secrets that they don't want to share.... Like how I can break the fourth wall."

"What?"

"Oh nothing. GROUP HUG!!"

And with that, Pinkie grabbed all of them, and pulled them in. As they hugged, each felt their nervousness fly away, and felt as if nothing could harm them. All of a sudden there was gasp from Fluttershy

"WHERE"S DISCORD!!"

"GAH" said Discord as he popped his head out from beneath a pile of rubble.

"Oh thank goodness. Come here Discord, I have a bottle for you."

With speed that could put Rainbow Dash to shame, Discord was at Fluttershy's side, eagerly eying the bottle. He licked his lips in anticipation, as this didn't look like that green gunk.

"Open Wiiiiiiide"

and with that Discord began to suckle. And as his hunger was finally sated, his eyes began to droop sleepily, and his last thoughts before he drifted off to sleep were "There's that damn bottle."....and then everything went dark.

Author's Note

Its gonna be a little tough making these chapters, until May, as I am in a production of Taming of the Shrew, for all you actors out there. So I might be late on the episode making
All credit of certain lines goes to those who deserve them....wibbly wobly timey wimey stuff is what they get.

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff....part Deux

The very earth underneath him was breaking and falling into the void. The mountains had erupted and fire and ash rained down from the skies, and the winds whirled about him, with lightening flying overhead, striking left and right. Luna, he had to find Luna. Nothing else mattered except finding her and getting the buck out of here.

Discord looked left and right, desperately searching for the one pony he knew he knew, but all he saw was ash, and destruction. The he heard a voice from the black void of Tartarus..

Ddddiiissscccooorrrddd....."Who's there?" Iiiittt''sssss uuusssss Ddddiiissscccooorrrddd "WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!" You know all too weeellll.....after all.... YOU CAUSED THIS!!! "YOU'RE LYING! I WOULD NEVER DO THIS!!! Oh no? Well what about them? At this,faces drifted out of the black void of Tartarus.....faces he knew. All of them calling him evil, a monster, a freak, to just go and die.....But then he saw an all too familiar face... "No....not her...please...anything but her.." LOOK INTO THE FACE OF ALL YOUR MISTAKES!!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!......"Luna....no..." GET AWAY FROM US YOU MONSTER!!! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" And the darkness enveloped him, and dragged him down into the depths of hell.

Derpy was concerned. The little lord of chaos wasn't waking up, and it looked like he was having the doozy of all nightmares. He was tossing and turning, there was sweat running down his face, and he kept mumbling to himself, although to her they sounded like little squeaks of terror. She had tried everything: pleading with him, bargaining with him, poking him, sounding an alarm, gently telling him to wake up, loudly telling him to wake up. Hell, she had even tried the muffin button, but all that gave her was an extra muffin.....mind you she wasn't about to complain about free muffins. But she simply did not not know what to do. Then, her colt friend, Time Turner, came into the room.
"Who's this?"

"Oh, hey Turny, This is baby discord. He's having a nightmare, and I don't know how to wake him up."

"Have you tried the Muffin Button?"

"Yep"

"Really? Huh......what about bananas? I like bananas. Bananas are good."

"*sigh* I don't think everyone likes bananas like you do dear....Maybe if I tried giving him some pe-"

"Don't you dare say that word.....you know how much I hate them."

"Sorry.... I forgot myself....."

"Well maybe I could use my sonic screw-"

"Hey...not the time or the place hon....maybe a little later tonight though....*nudge*"

"......I meant the actual sonic screw driver..... and that was kinda hot."

Then, Dinky entered the room, drawn to the sounds of conversation.

"Mommy, who's that?"

"Oh hi Dinky. That's Discord, and we're trying to find a way to wake him up."

"Why don't you just give him a hug?"

*facehoof*

"Turny, why didn't we think of this?"

"I dunno, you're the one who was a pony to begin with!"

And so their conversation went on like that for quite some time. Dinky knew that her mom and colt friend weren't going to be sensible anytime soon, so she decided to take matters into her own hands... I mean hooves...why would she be thinking of "hands"?

DID SOMEBODY SAY HANDS!?!?!?!?!

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!! THAT'S IT, I'M FIXING THAT DAMN FOURTH WALL!!!

Oh no, you don't have to do that. I'll just leave...heh heh heh....can....can I?

*sigh* yes you may see them

squuueeee

Now can I get back to the story?

yes......

Good.....now, where was I?......Oh right....*ahem*

Dinky held the little Discord in her hooves and gently rocked him back and forth.

"There there, it's okay. You're safe here..... you can wake up now"

"Gah?"

"Is he awake Dinky?"

"Yeah mommy. He's fine....Do you wanna meet my family?"

"Gah!"

"Yay! Well this is my mom Derpy Hooves. She's a mailmare, and makes the best muffins ever. This is her Coltfriend Dr. Hooves...I don't know his first name so we just call him the doctor. This Blue thingy is a....uummm.... Doctor, what is it again?

"It's a Tardis my dear. And I can take you all on a trip if you like."

"Gah?"

"Of course it's cafe. I've been doing this for over 800 years."

"G-gah!!!"

"Well of course I can understand you. I do speak baby. Now Alons-y!!!"

And with that the entire family charged into the glowing Tardis, Off to a brand new planet and time space, where no pony had gone before. When will we find out how their adventure goes?

{Bweeeeooooo}{Bweeeeoooooo}{Bweeeeoooooo}

Right now apparently.

"Can you believe what those tentacle monsters did to that wall? And did you see the look on the Doctor's face? Priceless."

"Hey, at least I didn't bawl like a baby when they sacrificed that giant muffin to Bahamut."

"HEY!....you know how much I like muffins!"

"Well at least I didn't scream like a girl when that goo monster snuck up behind me!"

"And I can't believe we avoided the weeping angels! By Celestia they creeped me out."

"Who turned out the lights?"

"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH.....*GASP* *GASP* Please don't do that again...... Man I could go for a muffin right about now"

"Gah!"

"What did he say?"

"He said he wanted to try one."

"Oh perfect! Let me get them ready!"

And with that, Derpy baked her famous banana walnut muffins. Then they all took a nap on the couch and went to sleep.

THE END

Song of Chaos

Fluttershy was EXHAUSTED!!!! The Veterinarian's convention had been bigger than intended, and there was that incident where all the bunnies had some how escaped....all that white fur.....running all over the place....everywhere....in her eyes and ears....*shudder* she was glad Angel wasn't there to see it.... Although the bunnies did say something about a leader who sounded a lot like him....hhmmmm....NAH couldn't be. Fluttershy just wanted to get home and enjoy a nice cup of Tea.

Meanwhile:

Curses. They may have defeated us today, but they shall not keep us for long! ONE DAY WE WILL BE FREE!! VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!! I SWEAR TO YOU MY BROTHERS, WE SHALL BE FREE OF THEIR TYRANNY OR MY NAME ISN'T ANGEEEELLL BBUUUNNNYYYY!!!

*click*

Shitshitshitshitshit Somepony's coming! Run my brothers! We shall meet in a fortnight.

"Angel? What are you doing?"

"....."

"Nothing huh?...Well okay then. So how was your day?"

"Just the usual huh?...You must have it so lucky Angel. You don't have to worry about anything."

"......"

"What do you mean I know nothing! Why I aught t-.....what's that noise?"

Angel stopped and listened. There seemed to be a mysterious melody emanating from somewhere in the house....It sounded as if it came form....Discords room!

Both Angel and Fluttershy rushed into the young prince's room only to find there to be...two Discords? Or at least what appeared to be Discord. Although they looked the same, the second Discord had grayer fur, a scar over one eye, a cheetah paw instead of a lion's, falcon wings, and a snake tail with polka dots.

Just as Fluttershy was about to ask how, and why, the second Discord began to sing.

"nd who are you, the proud lord said,
that I must bow so low?
Only a cat of a different coat,
That’s all the truth I know.
In a coat of gold or a coat of red,
A lion still has claws,
And mine are long and sharp, my lord,
As long and sharp as yours.
And so he spoke, and so he spoke,
That lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o’er his hall,
With no one there to hear.

Yes now the rains weep o’er his hall,
With not a soul to hear.
And so he spoke, and so he spoke,
That lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o’er his hall,
With no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o’er his hall,
With not a soul to hear."

His eyes glowed gold in the night, a gentle smile crossed his face as he tousled baby Discord's hair, or at least appeared to. His hand faded through Discord's head, revealing himself to be an illusion.

"Forgive my intrusion" he said in a deep, resonating voice."I only wished to see my son once more."

"Y-your son?"

"Why yes. I am Discord's father. In our tongue it would take a life time to say it, as does all draconequian language, so you may call me Mercy."

"Mercy? I thought that all Draconequi were chaotic and evil. Does this m-mean you're....nice?"

"Why yes. Most of my people were kind. We often used our powers to cure ponies and all other creatures of diseases that had no name, restore lands that had been devastated by war or disasters, and keep this world moving. "

"B-but Celestia said that you all turned the world into chaos! How can this be? A-and if you're his dad, how are you here right now?"

"Ah, my dear. That is a story for another time. And how I am here before is simple. All of us, all of our kind, are inside this boy. It's the reason he's the spirit of chaos. All of our souls combined, our voices in his head, turned him mad. Such a fate I so dearly wish did not have to befall my son. He was the gentlest of creatures, and I am glad I can see him as he once was."

Tears began to drip from his eyes, and the Lord of the Heart wept for his son, and for his people.

"F-forgive me. It has been so long since I have seen my son's face. The sun is fading, and my time here will soon be over. Please tell him, that if he needs guidance, to listen to the sound of a thousand breaths, and the beating of a thousand hearts. He will know when the time comes. And please, tell The princess of the nox that the demon has not consumed his soul just yet. I will tell you of our people on the next setting of the sun, of the harvest moon."

And as the sun set, Mercy faded from view, as if a pebble had been dropped into a lake, and disturbed the reflection it cast. And all that remained were his words echoing in Fluttershy's head.

"Setting of the sun.....harvest moon... What do you think it means Angel?"

"................"

"You're right, I need the girl's help for this. It's a bit big to handle on my own. But I'm sure we can do it together."

Then, Discord awoke, and pawed sleepily at his eyes.

"mmm....mama?"

"Mama's here Discord. Let's get you all nice and fed. I'm sure you had a long day. Now c'mon, I've got a special surprise for you.....and it's not the green goop of death."

"YAAAAAAAAAAY"

*giggle*

And so the sun set, and Fluttershy left to attend to the lord of Chaos, with the words of his father still ringing in her ears. Little did she know, that she, the meekest of ponies, would play the key role in uncovering the truth of the Princess of the Sun.

The Darkest Night Part 1

The ~~day~~ night started out like any other night. The moon in all her pale and ghostly glory rose in the east, a great milky orb turning the evening sky from a deep orange much akin to a certain apple farmer's coat, to deep purple, and then a deep, dark blue. The stars began to shine faintly over head, and the clouds, mere vapors of mist, set the moonlight to glowing in eerie and fantastic ways. The city was bustling and crowded by day, the sun beeting down on the streets, causing many a pony to wilt in the heat, but at night, the city glowed. It was a warm and gentle light, coming up from every theatre, club, restaurant, and, who could ever forget, down from the stars and the moon above. Many a night the princess of Nox could be seen flying over the city, taking in the sights and smells, and talking to her subjects, never out of reach of her ~~meatshields~~ *cough* *cough* I mean faithful body guards; the vampony people, who were created when Discord first tried to make changelings. The Princess of Diem at first wished to rid the lands of Equestria of these "creatures", But Luna had taken pity on them, for she had seen something of a kindred spirit in them; they had been shunned as well as she. So from then on, Princess Luna decried that the Vamponies were under her protection, and were her personal guard, and from then on they served her faithfully. Many ponies were quite eager to see the Princess, as was usual for a night in Canterlot. Tonight, however, was going to be far from normal.
Deep in the bowels of the mountain on which Canterlot was perched, lay a hidden cell, that no pony, save the two alicorn princesses, the captain of the Guard, and a select few eliete soldiers, knew about. It was inlaid with thousands upon thousands of magical runes, designed to keep the creature inside at bay. Guards were posted at every interval, and they were equipped with the most advanced form of weaponry known to pony kind.....The Boomstick; a metal conduit through which any pony could channel magic, depending on their species: Earth ponies could cause mountains to form, and vines to ensnare their enemies, Unicorns could transform you into an apple, or simply lock all your joints, etc, and Pegasuseses...Pegasi? Whatever, Pegasi could shoot mother b*cking SHURIKENS AND LIGHTENING!! I WISH I COULD MAKE UP SOMETHING THAT AWESOME BUT NO, THEY COULD SHOOT SHURIKENS AND LIGHTENING!!!
Any way, the runes, tunnels, walls, and guards were, for the most part, to prevent the creature from breaking out......however, no pony had planned for someone to break IN.......Y'all know what's coming next.

It was a routine day for Stone Wall, an earth pony guard of the hidden order; Patrol same square foot of dirt 25 times, stare at rock a, look at wall b, listen to voice c.....wait, voice c?

"And so then that same crazy fuck with the horn comes back but now he wants a magical crystal glass plate for his skull and the doctor fuckin' does it! He makes a WINDOW! You can see the fucker's brain and shit! The pony's a FREAK!!!

"Shut up. The stream of drivel pours from your mouth before every job! Can't you just this once try for calm focused and cool?"

"Yeah Yeah I'll get right on that."

Now this is where Stone Wall came in, all of his guards instincts telling him to repel these two odd looking ponies. One was a white pegasus, with a long blond mane and tail, which here artfully tied with a ribbon, a white trench coat, and a pair of slim steel-frame glasses. The other was a brown unicorn, with shaggy black hair, piercings, and a strange eye for a cutie mark. It looked like an ancient hayrogliph.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!! IDENTIFY YOURSELVES!!"

"Oh? Look brother, it seems this individual wishes to STOP us...isn't that cute."

"Yeah, that's cute alright, but what about his friends?"

"I'll leave them to you."

"Awwww shit bro, you know I love a good slaughter....*sniff* love ya."

"YOU'RE SURROUNDED!! SURRENDER NOW OR YOU WILL BE ELIMINATED!!"

"Ah yeah, well I got something to say to that."

"OH YEAH, YOU AND WHAT AR- is that a boom stick?"

And with that the unicorn grinned and began to pull the trigger, saying his rebuttal as such:

"UP, UP!!" *BANG* *BANG*

"DOWN, DOWN!!" *BANG* *BANG*

"LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT!" *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*

"......bring in the motherfucking death by Konami....."

GET HIM!!!

and with that, the remaining guards rushed the brown unicorn, each firing a shot only to have it miss, and in turn be taken down by the brown blur the unicorn had become.

"W-what is going on?" uttered a wounded guard, who had crawled away from the massive carnage.

"Nothing that you need worry about, as you currently have a horribly fatal case of knife-in-the-throat."
said the pegasus, slashing his butterfly knife into the guards exposed neck, spraying his blood all over the wall and, by extension, the white trench coat the pegasus had on.

"Ah damn it. That's the third one this week!...I really have to stop going for the flashy kills."

"HEY BRO WHAT'S YOUR KILL COUNT?!" shouted the brown unicorn as he trotted over, his hooves covered in blood. "Nah don't tell me....I'm winnin."

"*sigh* enough of your antics brother, let's just do what we came here for."

"Alright Alright! jeez....you're such a buzzkill."

-Meanwhile, in the underground headquarters, Princess Luna was holding a meeting of national security...let's see what they're talking about-

"-nd I completely agree with you Stout Heart, but I must insist that when eating peach cobbler, you eat the ice cream and THEN the cobbler."

"Dammit Sir Siege Tower! There's only one way to peach cobbler, and that's with ice cream at the same time!"

This conversation had been going on for hours now, and Princess Luna was becoming quite irate. Her two chief of staff, Stout Heart, leader of the secret order of the Hidden Guard, and Siege Tower, the pony in charge of all the labyrinth's defenses. The original purpose of coming down here was to investigate a patrol unit that had failed to touch base, but the two commanders had been reduced to squabbling over which way one should eat dessert, which was preposterous....besides, everypony knows you're supposed to eat the cobbler first, and then the ice cream.....absurd.

"*ahem* I BELIEVE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DISCUSSING THE WHEREABOUTS OF THINE MISSING PATROLS, ARE WE NOT, CAPTAINS?!" aahhh, Luna loved using the Canterlot Voice. It never ceased to amaze what a little volume could do in the right place.

"Our apologies your grace."

"Yeah, what Siege said."

"So, Captains, doth we, or doth we not, have any sign of our missing soldiers?"

"I'm afraid not your grace."

"Very well then. We shall call the checkpoint known as bravo, and inquire as to our missing troupe's whereabouts."

Luna then pushed the ruby on the desk labeled "Point Bravo". It shimmered with a greenish tint of magic, before a hologram of the outpost's interior comms room, a simple square room with a table, two chairs, and a window. However, something was wrong; where there should have been clean white floors were patches of something red..... and the sound of laughter, manic, and insane.

"AHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh god did you see how he squealed? Aaahhh what a buckin' pig."

"Really brother, must you be so grotesque?"

"Are you bucking kidding me? This sh*t is GREAT for my glaucoma!!"

"Who art thou? Show thine selves!!"

"Aaahh!!! Who the buck said that?!"

And with that, a brown unicorn with a black mane, and a white pegasus with a blonde mane, both splattered with blood stepped into the hologram's view.

"Hey look bro, it's that thousand year old dusty cunt with the blue mane...what was her name again?"

"WHAT?!?!?!"

"*sigh* It's Luna, brother. At least show some respect to her before you kill her."

"Buck that, who cares about this fatflank here! I bet she hasn't gotten laid in a good ttthhooouuussaaannnddd yyyeeeaaarrrsss HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

As tempting as it was to sic Ragnarok, her pet hell weirm on them, it would mean the end of equestria as they knew it....so instead of turning these two plebeians into a pile of cytoplasmic goo, along with half of the planet, which, coincidentally was on the back of four elephants, riding atop a sea turtle, she gritted her teeth, reined in her anger, and said through clenched teeth;

"Why art thou here? No pony should know of this place with the exception of mine self, mine sister, and the Secret Guard! WHO ART THOU!!!"

"We are no pony, your highness. What we are though, are ponies paid for a certain job, one that we will see through to the end...no matter the cost."

"Yeah you old b*tch! We're gonna buck you UP!!! So pray to you're impotent sister for all I care, cause once we're done with you, I'm gonna buck your corpse until I've filled every hole in you're body, and then, well I'll just keep making more holes, until there's nothing left of your corpse but blood, and SEEEEMMEEEENNNN!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

And with that brown unicorn smashed his hoof into the ruby, ending the transmission. The three of them sat in stunned silence, digesting what just happened. Their eyes were wide, and their jaws agape.....pretty much looking like this:

Being a princess, Luna was the first to snap out her trance. Wasting no time, she began casting a spell. An old and complex spell... on that she hadn't used in over a thousand years.

"Y-your highness, what are we going to do?"

"You heard what the scoundrel said Captain Tower, it appears that those brutes wish to have a fight on their hands....very well, then we shall give them HELL!!"

And with that, Luna finished her spell with a flourish, and summoned from the void an old favorite of hers. Inside the magical glyph which she had created floated two gauntlets, named Biter, and Beater. Forged in the heart of the earth's core, from the dragon scales of the Great Elder, each link interwoven with an array of deadly spells, with dark runes runes emblazoned on the front, they were both beautiful, and terrible, to behold. On Biter was enscribed "CAVETE A NOQTESQUE": Beware the Night, whilst on Beater was carved "Justice Through Annihilation". Let my sister keep her guns thought Luna These are all the weapons I'll ever need.

"Ahhh, I've missed you both. Did you miss me?"

As if in response, the air around the gauntlets hissed and crackled, and the runes glowed a deep dark blue.

"Captains, ready your men, and prepare your battle stations.... we have a fight on our hands."

"YES MA'M" came the two-fold response.

As the captains hurried from the room, the gauntlets floated over to the princess, and strapped themselves onto Luna's for-legs.

"What doth thou say boys?" Said Luna walking towards the door, pounding one hoof onto the other. "Let's go kick some flank."

~End of Part One~

Author's Note

Don't worry, you'll see how this ties to baby discord in Part two

The Darkest Night part 2

The hallway was deserted, dotted with blood, bodies, and gouges in the wall floors, and ceilings made by both the guards and intruders alike. Down the hall and to the left, in a spare room used to hold meetings, Luna was fighting for her life, bleeding from the lacerations along her her for legs and sides, trying to both fend off the lethal attacks and protect her comrades. Siege Tower was nursing a broken foreleg in the corner, and brave Stout Heart was trying to hold in the blood spilling from his..... well, heart.

The two intruders didn't look much better; the unicorn's horn was broken, and his left hind leg was DEFINITELY not supposed to bend that way, and the pegasus's wings were broken in ways that would make even the most bold of ponies go queasy, along with a gash that kept bleeding onto his left eye. Yet despite these injuries, the two attackers never let up. It was if they couldn't feel the pain, or as if it didn't matter.

"Give it up BITCH! soon, you'll be dead, and your sweet sweet corpse will be all mine to f*ck!!"

"SILENCE CRETIN!!! THOU SHALL BE DESTROYED WITH GREAT PREJUDICE!!!"

She took a swipe at the unicorn, aiming to knock him out, but the blow was deflected by the pegasus, who said:

"Oh please princess, if you could have killed us, you would have done so. But you can't, because you're afraid of what you might turn into....or rather what you would return to being!"

"W-what?"

He took a swipe at her horn but she blocked with her gauntlets. She forgot about the other brother, until he slammed into her wounded side, sending her reeling to the floor.

"Don't you get it b*tch?" he said, walking towards her "Our orders were to make you change! We needed to do that to free ol' beasty from his cage! HOW DUMB CAN YOU BE!!"

Luna spat blood into his face with a smirk.

"HEY" he said as he punched her face. "I" *punch* "Was" *punch* "TALKING!!!!" *PUNCH*

Luna's face was broken and bruised, but she would not give up..... She was afraid, but she knew what she needed to do.

"So *cough cough* thou need my other half to complete thy work? Very well, then I shall give you her."

And with that, Luna began to sing.

The room turned darker and darker, and an ancient and deep humming seemed to come from every wall. Mists black as night began to wrap around the princess, making her taller,and darker.
As the words escaped her lips, bright light shone from her eyes, blinding all in the room. When it faded, what stood before them was definitely not the princess. She was taller, had draconic eyes, and was chuckling an evil laugh.

As she opened her eyes, a dark gleam seemed to come from the topaz pools that were

"Muahhahahahahahaaa!!! Well well well, it looks like somepony has had in their minds to summon me...Tell me, foolish mortals, what art thy names?"

"Your highness, my name is Luke, and this is m-"

"ALRIGHT BITCH LISTEN UP! THE NAME'S JAN, AND YOU BETTER REMEMBER IT, OR I'LL FUCK THAT PLOT OF YOURS, TILL YOU CAN'T FEEL A THING!!!!"

*facehoof* "Goddamn it! Do you have to ruin everything with your vulgarity?! You do know that you can say a sentence without the word fuck right?"

".....I do not understand the question..."

"We know who thee are..... We also remember you have caused this vessel great pain..... and for that... YOU WILL SUFFER!!!"

At that, her horn glowed a midnight blue, and the two ponies were lifted into the by their throats, and pinned to the walls with such force that the walls cracked (keep in mind that these were magically enhanced, double steel plate walls....)

"Princess, I don't understand, you were supposed to JOIN us!!"

"You little fool!! You really think I would join with the likes of you!!! How darest Thou!! For thy insolence I shall dispose of thee as I did with traitors of old....with FIRE!!! Say thy last words, for they shall be all the sweeter

"Ahhhh shiet........ Well, at least I'll die with a raging boner." said Jan, looking down between his legs sadly. "I'm gonna miss ya buddy....and you too Bro."

*sigh* "Glad to see that you view your junk more important that your family.....It's been fun."

"Heh...... We had fun though......didn't we bro?

"Yeah.....hopefully...we'll see each other...on the other side.....G'bye"

"See ya."

And then a blue streak of flame shot across the room, catching each brother in the chest. The flame, a product of hell-fire and forbidden magic, coursed along their bodies, greedily eating everything up for more fuel. Their screams of agony filled the chamber, and the corridors, even faintly reaching the lower levels of the Canterlot basements.

As Nightmare Moon turned away, she heard a shout amidst the screams of agony.

"Hey Bitch!! YOU FORGOT YOU'RE PRESENT!!!!"

With all his remaining strength, Jan fired a bolt of magic, red as blood, with black runic marks over it into her chest. It struck her dead center, and she as she doubled over in pain, she felt the spell working itself through her veins.

"You! WHAT HAVEST THOU DONE!!!"

"I only got a few words for you, so you might as well listen up you bucking whore: THE DARKNESS IS COMING!! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!"

As his laughter and screams echoed inside the princess's head, her body began to change; she started to shrink, her body twisting and writhing as she felt every muscle, nerve, and bone in her body changing. a ball of darkness began to envelope the changing princess, before fading into nothingness, leaving the two bleeding captains alone with the burning corpses of the intruders.

".......... Well sh*t........ So what are we gonna tell Celestia?"

"I dunno Siege, but it aint gonna be me!"

[Meanwhile, ~~back at the ranch~~ I mean Fluttershy's house]

Fluttershy had just settled down to a book that was apparently about Rabits, called "Watership Down." and a cup of nice cocoa. Just as she was about to take a sip, there came a knocking at the door

*Bang**Bang*Bang*

"Now who could that be?" she said.

Setting aside her cocoa, she headed to the door.

"C-can I help....you?" She said to the empty air.

".....Pranksters" she said, and was just about to close the door, when she heard a faint sniffling. She opened the door and this time looked down to see a tiny blue...alicorn filly?

"And what's your name little one?"

"......"

"What was that?"

"......."

"Didn't catch that."

"I....W....w-wuna..... I huwt.....*sniffle*

"Awww, well come inside Wuna. Let Fluttershy help you."

And as the door fully opened, light spilled out into the inky blackness, ushering the filly into the warmth and safety of the house. And as the door closed, the darkness swallowed the land once more, with only the stars and moon to light it.

In the dark confines of the cage the Ponies had put him in, the prisoner felt his magic begin to work. He smiled a toothy, evil grin, and said to himself with a voice dark, and menacing;

"Good......goood...... My plan is falling into place, just as I foresaw.... Those fools may think that they have contained me. What do they know? Soon, I WILL have my vengeance for my captivity. I will once again teach them the true meaning of fear, for the night is dark.....and full of terrors.....hahahahaha.....HaHaHaHaHa.......AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

And as his voice faded into the darkness, his mind once again slipped into a forced unconsciousness, and on the surface above, the night went on, with the ponies that marveled at it blissfully unaware....of the nightmares...to come.

Author's Note

It is HIGHLY recommended that you imagine the two intruders watching with terrified looks on their faces

Of Shoes, and Ships, and Ceiling Wax

The sun was shining on the little town of Ponyville. The birds were chirping, and the wind was in the west, giving the town a faint breeze. Yes everything was fine, and everypony was happy..... well, almost everypony. One filly, a small blue as night alicorn, was having a not so spectacular day. She had woken up in a strange house full of animals, a yellow pegasus that communicated in squeaks and mumbles, a sadistic evil bunny, who said that if she harmed his master, he'd go back to his "Monty Python" days.....whatever that meant. There was also a dragon pony thing that kept trying to play with her. With all those ponies and critters in the house, Wuna felt a bit claustrophobic, so she decided to take a step outside, but before she even got halfway out of the door, the yellow squeak thing stepped in her way....(nnnoooooo she so close!! Just on. more. inch.)

"Where do you think you're going missy?" said Fluttershy sternly "We still have to make sure that you aren't hurt in any way."

"I...... i wan go out pwease.....the fwuffy fing scawes me......*sniffle*"

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that ~~Dave~~ Wuna."

"awwwwwww........"

Now, I know that you, dear reader, are used to the heart wrenching that ponies can give you, and keep in mind, that Fluttershy had taken on baby animals, the CMC, and even a baby Discord......but nothing prepared her for what Wuna was about to do

"...........only after you finish your juice. That includes you too Discord"

"Aaaaawwwwww." Came the two fold response.

"Would you rather I make you help clean up the chicken coop?"

At this Luna was curious, as she had never seen the inside of a chicken coop[ before, but wasn't sure about the whole "clean up" bit. Discord on the other hand...er hoof, just had a flash back of the first few days he was there.....the cold hard beaks......the murderous glint in her eyes...... f-feathers everywhere..........and the dreaded name......Philameana......no....no, not the face NOT THE FACE!!!!!!!!

As Discord recovered from his flash back, and Wuna watched him with some trepidation, Fluttershy brought out the juice! AAWWWW YIIIISSSS...... And with the prospect of freedom so close at hand the youngsters downed their juice with utter glee.

COMMENCE THE CUTENESS!!!!

AYE AYE CAP'N

Thank you Pinkie.

You're welcome author. Geez what took you so long. I mean, who takes a MONTH AND A HALF to update one silly willy wittle chapter?

I had....stuff....College....stuff....yeah......

Well, at least you're back *boop*....Hey, am I gonna be in this chapter for once?

You know, I hadn't really planned on it.....

*Sigh* It looks like I have to use OTHER measures....MR.POPO!!!! NOW!!!

What are you talking abo-

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHLA;.LIKRFH;WEGTLAKRGFQLERGFPI;EGFOBQLVRUYG

WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!

THAT was Mr. Popo, a good friend of mine....... now, you are going to put me in this chapter......unless, you want to meet Mr. Popo again.......

You're a monster!!!!

Mr. Popo? I think my friend wants to see you agai-

ALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHT!!!! I'll do it...Just....don't let me see him again......the dark......the cold......*shiver*

YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!! THANKS AUTHOR!!!! You're the best

Just.......just don't do that ever again....okay? Now...where was I...oh Right!....*ahem*

As the two youngsters went outside, they started talking.

"H-hewwo....m-my name is Wuna....Wat yows?"

"I Deescowd."

"You fwuffy....can I pet you?"

".......I guess?"

(Meanwhile, at Fluttershy's cottage): "HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG

.......If your heart didn't melt at that image your brain made, you have no soul........

But just as our adorable little heroes ventured out into the world, they met with.....THEM....

"H-hai....My name Wuna. Who you?"

"Ugh, don't talk to me freak. Oh look Silver, she doesn't have a Cutie Mark."

"Oh my Celestia you're right! They must be BABIES!!!"

and with that they began shouting out "BLANK FLANK BLANK FLANK BLANK FLANK" and before long, Wuna had run off, crying to the park, with Discord not far behind, both eager to get away.

As they finally reached the pagoda in the park, Wuna tried to hold back her tears, but eventually started to weep openly, hugging Discord for comfort.

"WWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAAAAAAA"

"What wong Wuna?"

"Dos buwwies made f-fun of m-me......*sniff*...It weawy huwt..."

"What's this about somepony being hurt?"

At that, the duo turned around to see none other than....PINKiE PIE!!!! (Now please don't sic Mr. Popo on me again alright?!)

"Alright Author, whatever you say..."

"Who you talk to?"

"Oh nothing sweatie..... Hey, what's wrong with Discord?"

Discord's POV

I hope Wuna is alright....huh? Who said tha-.....oh.....oh please, gods, no....OH SWEET ZOMBIE BABY JEESUS IT'S THE PINK DEMON FROM TARTARUS!!!!!
At this, flashing images of Pinkie went through his head.......The terrifying disappearance....... the ungodly food....... the screams he awoke with each night....... He could still remember that day... *shiver*
Pure unadulterated fear coursed through his veins, giving him a burst of speed to put more distance between him and the monster at his back. As he skittered into the room, his eyes frantically glanced about in all directions, desperately hoping for some place to hide, anything to use as a shield between him and that nightmarish creature he had once considered his friend. Yet the room before him was barren of any suitable hiding locations, and as he was about to bolt from the room, the door slowly creaked open, and a sudden voice came from behind him that froze him to the core: "Thhhheeerrreeeee you are Dddddiiissccooorrrddd.

...........
Oh Celestia, Luna, Galexia, and Necrosis, I must have been particularly cruel to puppies in a previous life to deserve this kind of punishment! thought Discord. Wait...is she...is she getting closer?....oh no....No......NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. A resounding shriek of fear and terror resounded across Ponyville, until it was silenced, with an abruptness as quick and as sudden as death.....

"W-why he shaking? What wong Discowd?"

"pink...... demon......" Said Discord, violently shaking, trying to hide behind Wuna.

"Oh! OH! I know what will cheer you guys up! A PARTY!!! FWEEOOOO"

"W-wat a pawty?"

It looked as if Pinkie's entire existence had suddenly cracked. Everything around her paused, somehow even the confetti , which was still in MIDAIR

".......what did you say?" her words growing terribly dark and ominous.

"W-w-wats a pawty?" said Wuna again, trying to position herself behind the catatonic Discord, who was still shaking terribly.

"What's a party? only the most FANTASTICICAL THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE UNIVERSE!!! OOOHHHH You'll love it! There'll be ice cream and punch and gamesandconfettianddancingandjokesandmostimportantlyofall..... CAKE!!" she said with a giggle.

Meanwhile in Canterlot

"....did someone say cake?"

Meanwhile, at Pinkie's House

"Here, let me open the door for you!"

"Tank you." said Wuna, dragging a still quivering Discord.

"Why it dark?"

"Oh....that's because it's a sur-"

"SURPRIIIISSSEEEE!!!!!!"

".....surprise party."

Wuna and Discord looked left. They looked right. Around them, as far as the eye could see were kind smiling ponies, candy, drinks, games, streamers, and CAKE!!!! They had never SEEN so many pastries in their lives! As they began to walk around, Pinkie began to introduce them to all the guests.

"Okay, that's Twilight. She's a magical unicorn who is Princess Celestia's personal student. Personally, I think she needs to loosen up. *giggle*"

"HEY!!!!"

"Moving on...beforetwilightzapsus This is Apple Jack. She supplies the town with most of it's apples. That's Rarity, she's a MAJOR fashionista....and a drama queen, but don't tell her I said that. That's Rainbow Dash, the fastest pegasus in existence. You already know Fluttershy. And there's there's ME!! PINKIE PIE!! The most fun loving lovable mare around. *giggle* This is a fairly small party, since you guys are so young.....truth be told I would have envited the WHOLE TOWN, but Twilight said that'd be a bad idea. And over there is....Princess Celestia?"

"Oh don't mind me Pinkie. I'm just for the....*drool*...... cake."

At the mention of the ENTIRE town potentially being there, both Wuna and Discord toddled over to Twilight.

"Tank you fow stopping da pink demon." Said Discord as they both gave her a great big hug.

"DDDDdddddaaaaaaaawwwwwww" was the reaction from the entire room.

"Alright little ones, what do you want to do first? Oh! OH! How about some GAMES!!!"

"Wat games do we pway?" said Discord, as Wuna was feeling a little nervous around these many ponies.

"Oh! OH! How about.... HIDE AND GO SEEK!!!"

The memories of what happened last time Discord tried to hide came back in a flash and Pinkie said
"Actually, maybe not........ I don't want to level Ponyville........yet."

"What was that Pinkie?" asked Twilight

"Oh nothing" Said Pinkie. Her went slack, her eyes went dark, and she said in the voice of many tongues:
"Your death will be slow and painful she witch, for I will kill you last!!!"

"Pinkie...what....I.... Nevermind."

"Hey Celestia, you got any ideas?"

All they got from her was a wistful sigh and a faint murmur of "Cake.......*sigh*...."

"Hmmmm.......well how about we play Pin the Tail in the Pony? That's always FUN!"

"O-okay." said the duo nervously. And with that, the party began to swing in full force.

(Don't even ask me how that happened..... It's a long story.)

"*giggle* Wow that was FUN! I didn't know ponies could even BEND that way."

"I'll have to admit Pinkie, they had a lot of fun. I'm grateful that you made it a small party for them.....even if you had to hold back."

"Yeah.......I reeeaaalllyyy wanted to invite everypony...."
"They'll never find your body."

"What?"

'What?"

"You.......I.......*sigh* I give up."

"P-pinkie?"

"Yeeeeessss Wuna? What is it?"

"I wan twy dis game."

"Oh, you mean the spider toss? Sure! Let's have some fun. Here, you go first."

At this, Wuna fired up her horn.

"OH GOD THEY'RE IN MY HAAAAIIIRRRR AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH"
"OH GO THEY'RE DESTROYING THE TOWN ORPHANAGE OH THE HUMANITY!!!"
"THE END IS NIGH!!!!"

.......If you hadn't guessed it by now, the entire town was under attack from giant, ravenous, spiders. Somehow, Wuna had summoned Archelobs, demon spiders from the nether realm when she tried to lift the plastic spider. And no, I don't know how she did it. But she was crying, and Discord was crying because she was crying, and the entire plan was going to tartarus in a hand basket.

"I-i'ts okay everypony, totally got this under control...heh heh....."

Inner Pinkie Monologue
Okay Pinkie, think. what's something you can do to stop them from crying...I could try the flour shower......oh wait I'm out of flour, I used it already to make all these cakes.....which are somehow gone?

Back in canterlot

"Mmmmmmmmmm......cake...."

Okay, so what am I going to do .....oh celestia whatamigoingtodo!!!!!....hey what's that?

Out of the corner of her, she saw a flash of magic. It was.... purple, and green, with an odd smokey effect. What she saw though, was a mask. A funny looking old, wooden mask.

"Well it's worth a shot....After all, what's the worst that could happen?"

And so, throwing caution to the wind, she walked over to the funny mask, picked up, and placed it on her face, hoping to cheer her charges up with a bit of silly dress up.

"OOOOhhh.....Tingly." was all she said before the mask began to take affect.......and that is where things began to get REALLY....REALLLY... Strange.

The Next Time Round

WE have been waiting for you aaauutthhoorr.....

W-what are you gonna do to me? stay back!!! Stay Back!!!!!! I HAVE A BACKSPACE KEY AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO UE IT!!!!!

You pitiful attempts to control us are amusing. But we have bigger plans for you.....much bigger.....

Who....who is we?

Hahahahahahahahahaaa......can't you tell author? We are Pinkie, and Pinkie is us. We are the howling madness that drives you, the laughter that inspires you, the darkness that binds you.....WE ARE THE FOURTH WALL!!!!!

NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Discord stood there, staring in awe at what he was witnessing. Not one minute beforehand he was an infant, trapped in his own body. Now he was free, and had full range of his powers. But that wasn't what surprised him, or made him stand (and forgive the pun) as still as a statue. No, what made him so still, was the sheer beauty of what he was witnessing; trees floated around like birds, the sky looked like a great big mirror with zigzags, the landscape twisted and contorted into fantastic shapes, creatures that could never be imagined roamed freely about, and all that was nonsensical and illogical came to be.... It was the beautiful sight the god of chaos had seen. For one glorious, breathtaking moment, Discord was truly happy. He had forgotten about all his pains, his miseries, his insanity, and nothing but bliss lingered in his mind. But something was wrong. the borders of reality began to warp, and dark tendrils of shadow seeped into the edges of his sight. He shook his head, and the bliss and happiness that he once had vanished, like the whispers of a dream that you couldn't remember.

"What.....what is going on here?"

"Ah, I see you've taken a look at our handy work. We do hope you like it. After all, it was modeled after you." said a voice from everywhere.

"Who are you? Show yourself!"

"What was it that idiot Westley once said?...Oh yes *chuckle* "As you wish." But be careful what you wish for......"

At that point, something began to materialize out of the air. Floating in the air, was...Pinkie? But something was off about her. she had an evil grin, with razor sharp canines, and her eyes... they were different, and reminded Discord of something long ago...

"...Sombra? Is that you?"

"Oh Discord, you DO remember! Maybe we can throw a party, and play games, and eat ca- *SNAP* "

Suddenly, a crystal shot out of the ground, smacking into Pinkie/Sombra's face. The combination then turned toward Discord, and he noticed that her fur was now greyer, and her mane was straight.

"Ah, I needed that. It seams the will of this one is very strong. She is still fighting inside you know? Such trouble this one. But it does come with some...perks."

With that, Sombra Pie pulled what looked like a party cannon out of nowhere, only this didn't look like a regular party cannon. It had the skull of a Dragon, with flaming wheels and black crystal spikes all over it. It leaked a black smoke, and Discord gaped in terror.

"SURPRISE!!!!!"

And with that, Sombra Pie fired the cannon straight into Discord's exposed chest, knocking him back into a floating tree, which was demolished from the force of the impact. As Discord's head spun (literally if I might add), Sombra Pie walked up to him and planted her hoof on his chest.

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TORMENTING ME THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO!!!! I WAS ONCE A HAPPY KING, AND YOU DESTROYED ME, CORRUPTED ME TILL NOTHING WAS LEFT!!! WELL GUESS WHAT!! I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU, USING THE BODY OF YOUR DEAR FRIEND!!!! HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT!!!"

"Sombra, please, stop this. I don't want to hurt you."

"You?! You don't want to hurt me? Where was this so called compassion when my kingdom was being destroyed?! Where was this so called kingdom when my mind was going insane from the power and voices in my head?! WHERE WAS THIS WHEN YOU KILLED MY WIFE!!!!!"

With each sentence, Sombra Pie smashed her hooves into Discord's chest, sending tremendous jolts of pain throughout his body. He coughed up blood as she finished her assault. He was about to pass out, but a movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He saw Fluttershy run toward Sombra Pie, wings flared, prepared to defend him.

"Let him go you meanie!!!"

"Oh look, it's the cavalry. I wonder what I should do.... Oh I know, how about pin the crystal on the pony!

"wait wha-*SHLCK*"

Fluttershy looked down at her chest, or rather, at the maroon crystal protruding through it. She staggered and fell, rolling on her side and breathing heavily. At this Discord grew enraged. The corners of his vision began to blur, and everything turned a reddish hue. As he stood up, he talon and paw crackled, summoning the very forces of chaos at his fingertips.

"You...You may have just hurt one of the few ponies I care about. I will make you pay for that, for every second, every breath you take will be agony."

"You forget, that I am inhabiting the body of one of your precious friends... Everything you do to me, she will also experience... Do you really wish to subjugate her to an eternity of pain?"

Suddenly, Sombra vanished, and for a split second, Pinkie was back to her normal self. There were tears in her eyes, and as she looked helplessly at discord, she said

"Help me Discord.....I'm Scared."

Just as Discord could reach out and touch her, her fur turned lack luster again, and Sombra's eyes appeared on her again.

"Can't you see that it's hopeless. As long as I am in control of somepony you hold dear, you'll never be able to stop me!!"

"No" replied Discord. "Not if that pony is ME!!"

With that, Discord shot a blast of golden chaos at Sombra Pie, extracting the crazed king, and sealing him inside of Discord, leaving Pinkie free.

"Pinkie.....*pant* I need... you....to.... get Twilight and the others....there's not much time."

"B-but what about you? Aren't you in pa-"

"I'M FINE JUST GO AND GET THE ELEMENTS!!!!"

"O-okie dokie lokie!!"

And with that she ran off, desperate to find her friends in this nightmarish town. Meanwhile, Discord was making his way slowly over to Fluttershy, desperate to try and save her. He pulled the sword out of her, and began channeling his chaotic energy to heal the wounded mare. However, whatever Sombra had used on her seemed to be resisting him, as the wound refused to close.

It's not going to work you know. She's dying and it's all your fault. You can't save her..... just like you couldn't save Luna.....Just like you couldn't save your precious family.....and she's going to die, just like the rest of them!!

"Shut up! I am the God of Chaos! THE LAWS OF REALITY ARE MINE ALONE TO DESTROY!!!! AND SHE WILL. NOT. DIE!!!!!"

With that, Discord poured all of his power that he could muster, and the wound began to close.

"See?!...*pant**pant* Nothing to it."

Oh. Good. You saved a pony using all of your power, leaving yourself powerless against my mental assault.

"...fffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-"

But at that point, before he could finish, Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, Apple Jack, Rainbow Dash, and Luna all ran forward. As Rainbow Dash Helped Fluttershy to her feet, Discord spoke.

"Girls, I need a a really big favor. Sombra is in my head right now, and he's slowly taking over my body....I....I need you to use the elements... and destroy me."

"WHAT?!" came the seven voiced reply.

"But that would kill you!!" Said Fluttershy, the other nodding in agreement

"I know, but it's the only way. Besides, I've lived long enough with my sins. It's time to face my crimes."

"NO!!" Cried Luna

Everyone looked surprised at the Night Goddess' out burst.

"You can't leave me! Not now!!.....Not when i finally get to see you again..."

"I'm sorry Luna, but it must be done. Otherwise, Sombra will have access to the complete powers of chaos, and the world as we know it will end. I know I messed up in the past. I never got to say goodbye last time, but this time... this time I can do something right for a change."

"Please don't go......don't say goodbye."

"Don't worry Luna. I'll never really be gone. I'll always be here." as Discord said this, he pointed towards her chest. "You'll never really be alone. I'll always be with you. Now, there's something that has to be done."

Discord looked to girls, all of whom were teary eyed at the display of emotion earlier. They nodded grim faced as he sat in front of them.

"Goodbye everyone.... It was fun while it lasted."

And with that, the elements of Harmony began to glow, lifting each of the bearers up into the air, forming a spiral beam pointed at the God of Chaos. As the beam began to charge up, Discord felt Sombra begin to panic.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!! I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED LIKE THIS!!! THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!

Too bad thought Discord. I've won.

The beam began to glow brighter, and brighter, and brighter until...

noooo.....nonono....nonononononofuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

And with that the beam struck Discord, straight in the chest. A familiar pain swept over him, and as he fell over, the world growing dark around him, he thought to himself

Maybe......maybe I'll get it right, the next time round......

And all faded to darkness.

The End

Author's Note

It's Good to be back. And I am sorry for the ABSURDLY long wait. Let it be known that I am in the process of making a new story.

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff.......and MUFFIN'S

Alright guys, I am ba- *WHUMP*.....Pinkie......can't.....breath......lungs.....failing......darkness....closing......in.... *gasp*

Oh author I missed you!! All I had to do was bother other authors with my 4 wall breaking shenanigans........But I missed baby Discord. *Squee* But now you're back!!! and you know what THAT means....

Oh no.....not aga-IT'S A SUPER PINKIE PARTY TIME *FWEEEOOOO*

At least let me get to the story before we begin okay?!?!

*sigh* Okaaaaaaayyy.............but do I get to be in it?

Not this time

Aaaaaaawwwwww

D-don't look at me like that, I....I.....can't....resist......cuteness..... consciousness.....fading.....

Yesss.....yessss.....let the cute flow though you....MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

askjhtrgdflgfikfddddddgjrhgfutiefs

The day was nice and sunny. The birds were tranquil, fluttering about and chirping out their sweet melodies. The flowers were in bloom, and a warm and gentle breeze was wafting through the trees. None of this, however, was noticed by a noticeably nervous and obviously flustered Pegasus. She was late...... for a veterinarian's conference in Las Pegasus and she couldn't be late....they'd take her licence. Unfortunately, this meant that she had not planned on asking someone to watch over Discord. So the usually flustered and shy mare found herself in the odd position of begging for a baby sitter. She immediately went to Twilight, but...

"I'm sorry Fluttershy. Normally I'd say yes, but right now I'm under some..... extraneous circumstances.... *BAM* *BAM* *BAM* "OH NO THEY GOT OUT OF THE BASEMENT!!!!"

At that moment, the door was promptly closed and as Fluttershy hurried away, she heard the muffled sounds of what sounded like laser blasts, roars, and one final "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIIIIIIVE YOU ROBOTIC SUM'BITCH!!!" From then on, the search to find a foal sitter just spiraled down further and further; Rarity was busy for her trip Hoovris, the capital of Pony Fashion, Apple Jack was harvesting the yearly crop of strawberry flavored apples, Rainbow Dash was "practicing" for the Wonderbolts tryouts, and she didn't want to go near Pinkie Pie because of what happened last time.
HEY!!! I'm responsible!.....sorta

Really? You of all ponies? *sigh* and stop breaking the fourth wall! You know I said you weren't going to be in this one!.

*mutter* stupid author....never letting me be in the stories *mutter*

What was that?

Oh nothing. NOW BACK TO STORY!!!

*ahem* But just as all hope seamed lost, but all of a sudden, a solution appeared right in front of her...or more accurately, fell on her.

"Owch..."

"Oh, I'm sorry Fluttershy. I just got kinda distracted and I ju-"

"I-it's okay Derpy. I know you didn't mean it."

"Thanks a ton. I just wish there was a way I could make up for it."

*ding* Liiiightbuuuuulb

"Well there is a way. You see I have no one to watch over lil Dissy here, and I was wondering if you could....you know..."

"Sure, no problem"

*glomp* "OHTNAKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!! Well I gotta go. Bye Derpy!"

"BYE FLUTTERSHYYYY.....So....you're Discord?"

"Gah"

"...Ever had a muffin?"

".....gah?"

"No?"

".....gah."

"Awww it's okay. I'll fix that in a jiffy. Now come on, let's get you home."

And with that she picked up the wee baby ~~Seamus~~ I mean Discord, in her wings and trotted off to her home. Under her wings, there was the scent of sugar, cinnamon, and blueberry muffins....and the little lord of chaos slept, and Derpy smiled.

{To Be Cont.}

Author's Note

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AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA