As Fluttershy followed the path from her cottage she started to delve deep into the aspects of philosophy.

"What is the meaning of life?"

"Where do we go when we die?"

"Does Celestia and Luna really control the Sun and Moon?"

"Is that a 2 dollar coin?" (Jokes on you, Americans)

In fact it was a 2 dollar coin (Ha) sitting all by itself in the path. Fluttershy stared at the 2 dollar coin with fear and uncertainty, which is to be expected when 2 dollar coins haven't been in service since, like 2003. You never know when Celestia will start to tax the public mass of Ponies for finding old, unused forms of currency.

"I thing I'll just avoid it." Fluttershy stated... No. This isn't right... the author has plans for you girl...

"Oh my, I seem to have acquired an uncontrollable urge to collect this lone coin." Fluttershy spoke with a hint of fear and uncertainty. Well placed fear and uncertainty I might add because I OWN YOU! I OWN YOU!!!111one1 *Cough cough*

As Fluttershy wen't to pick up the 2 dollar coin something ~~un~~expected happened. Fore out came two Royal Guards who's jobs are to uphold the law and ~~keep the Zebra's in line~~ protect and serve.

"Stop right there, criminal scum! Nobody breaks the law on our watch! We're confiscating your stolen goods. Now pay your fine or its off to jail. The two guards shouted in unison.

Fluttershy's reaction was of course to panic, as do all fickle creatures when put under extreme pressure...
"I'm so sorry! I meant no harm! Please let me go! Please!" The guards would not be taking any of this however. They have innocents to ~~arrest~~ protect.

Before Fluttershy could react though, she felt a striking pain on the back of her head. Her vision shortly faded to black. Behind her stood a Stallion holding a Blackjack, and wearing a dark cloak. Dry, heavy breathing could be heard from withijn the recesses of his hood., whilst the cloak hid his appearance.

"Thank you for aiding us in our arrest civilian, you may go." The cloaked Stallion would not move.
"Can I keep the body?" The Royal Guards raised their eyebrows in unison. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't think we are legally allowed to give you the body." The Cloaked ~~Rapist~~ Stallion still would not leave. "Is that a no?" The Royal Guards were losing their patience now "Did I bucking stutter?!" The one to the left shouted "Cause I don't think I mother bucking stuttered!"

Intermission

Alone lay the author, on his bed. Silently contemplating life.
"Why the hell am I doing this? Its not like anyone will actually read this crap!"

Did I mention the fact that he has a split personality? No? Well, now you know.
Besides, Its not like it's ever fucking been done before!.

"Buddy, you're putting too much faith in humanity again. They will read it. Trust me, you may have bad grammar and lack the proper experience to type a respectable fanfiction, but you can do it. I believe in you."

"What are you gay?"

...

"Go fuck yourself."

"I'm not your mother last night."

"She's your mother too."

So?

"This is why you don't have friends."

"Yeah, but you're me. So in essence you don't have friends either."

"Sometimes I contemplate killing myself to be rid of your presence."

"With what? A part of my Cerebellum? You're a fucking split personality."

... "You're a split personality."

"Yeah, great comeback. I'll make sure to call my-- wait, why have I lost all motor function?"

Now, lets type some ~~quality~~ acceptable fanfiction.

"I hate you so much right now."

"If you stew the brew, You're gonna have a bad time."

"If you stew the brew, You're gonna have a bad time." -- A Dick In My Head

"You have a dick in your head?"

... Sometimes I contemplate killing myself to be rid of you're presence."

End Intermission

"I want my pizza!"

"I swear, if you get Pepperoni I will blow you sky high."

"But you know I only like Pepperoni."

"Yep!"

"Fuck you, I get what I want aigh't!"

*Angst*

"Man, you a faggot."

Static...

"I want to kiss you..."

"I would like that..."

Static...

Fluttershy woke with a pounding headache. It was as if somepony had bludgeoned her skull with a blunt object...
A quick observation gave way to the fact that she was in what appeared to be a dark, dank and filthy dungeon.
Panic gave way to fear. Fear gave way to lust... kinky. "What ever have I done to end up in a place like this?"
Fluttershy swooned. "If would be absolutely terrible if a big, strong, stallion were to overpower me."

Seconds passed in silence as her grin started to waver.
"Well fine! I'll just use this penis shaped rock then!" Oh gawd, didn't think you would ever hear that in a story now did you?

"Wow. She's really going at it..."

"Yes... she is certainly throwing that rock at the wall."

"What? Is that what kids call it these days?"

"This story is rated Teen... atleast, I think it is. Besides, we have young and impressionable 9 year olds on this site."

"Nine year olds are the reason we cant have nice things. I can't even piss in public because its "Public Indecency" Its all they're faults."

"You're a psychopath..."

Static...

As Fluttershy observed her surroundings she noticed a peculiar cube shaped object. Being the absolute party animal she is she decided to inspect it. When she touched it a message briefly passed her vision, it read something along the lines off.

It seems to be a cube. A Companion Cube! With this item you can complete tests for the people who are still alive... did I mention the cake is a lie? A faint ~~gunshot~~ loud banging noise was heard before another text grazed her vision.

"Hello, my name is |̓̉͌̊̀ͧ͏͎̦͇̟̀|̸̠͙̠͎͍̤̗͙̞͍̤̻̫͔̙̉̾͌̍̉͛ͥ̅͒̃͋̽̐ͬ̐̚̕|ͪ̍ͦͣ͑̀̊ͭͫ͛̒͆̏̀͒̉͂ͦ͛͝҉͏͝͏̹̩̹̩̱̣̬|̎̎̊ͪ̉ͧ͆̚҉̲̻͉͈͖̙͟͝|̈̅͐ͭ́̋͛̏̈́̓ͥ̋ͮͤ̃ͩ̚̕҉̘̭̜̣͠͡ͅ|̵̛͍̠͙̥̭̼̞̬̝͈̩̤̫̜͓̘̐̈̊ͧ̆ͭ̈ͥ̾̃̐ͥ͋ͪ̽ͯ͒ͣͫ͘͝ͅ|̨͖̥̤̭̤̰̝̭͇̦̙̬͎̰̺͓ͩ̈́͛̅ͩ̐̐ͥ̿̃ͯ͑͑̆ͬ͑̍̇̾́ͅ|̨͔̞͓̳̱̪͈̯̍̋̽ͦ̌̇ͥ͒ͦͯ̇̓́̇ͬ̐̎̇ͤ́͡͠͠|ͦ̑͑͒͌̍͐́̅ͤ̄̈̆͆ͬ̎̚̚͘͢҉̼͕͍̪̭̹̗̜̠ and I'll be helping you on your journey."

Fluttershy could only do whatever most Ponies do when in shock, and by that I mean freak the fuck out, besides. Something this crazy hadn't happened to her since that one time she dropped acid real hard. Even then she only woke up in a zoo covered in bruises. She smelt like Manticore for weeks after that.

"Hey genius. I know you and most of the denizens of Equestria are suffering from extreme bouts of brain diarrhea but I think you can atleast muster the brain cells to pay attention. I know the Author couldn't give two shits about coherency and all, but this story need a plot other than... well, whatever you could call "this" So I'm here to keep you sane and productive. Without me we would be in Utah, referencing Skyrim memes... and by that I mean bat shit inconsolable unfortunately I am the High King of Skyrim. So we aren't-- dammit. Even I'm slipping up."

This was certainly allot to soak in for dear old Fluttershy... "What? I uh, I mean... what?"

"Don't worry! I'll just take your inane questions as appreciation for my aid."

"You're here to help me?" Asked Fluttershy, confused. She might aswell accept his aid in a situation as dire as this "Something strange has happened. I can't think straight and my memories feel wrong."

"Yeah, That's what happens when you let ~~MindFcuk in Aisles~~ ~~Silicone Lube~~ Flabbergasted put on his Author pants."

... "Who?"

"That's also seems to be the reason he's doing this. Its all Regidars fault. Stupid sexy Regidar."

Before Fluttershy could ask who Regidar was a loud rumbling could be heard from outside her cell.

"Oh no..."

The mysterious stranger seemed to sigh in indignation. Fluttershy suspected that he knew what was going on, but didn't ask due to the MindFcukery she was experiencing.

"Fluttershy, I implore you move to the cell bars. Otherwise this could get very messy."

Fluttershy complied quickly. She had no idea what would happened, but she trusted the voice in her head...
She would definitely be seeing a psychiatrist after this ordeal. The rumbling from outside her cell wall got louder as every second passed. It wasn't long before the wall exploded in a flurry of dust and stone
.
Before Fluttershy stood a young looking ~~Human~~ creature. The most noticeable aspect of this human was his strange style of clothing, consisting of a pair of grey ~~sweat pants~~ comfortable and practical tracksuit pants, a slightly baggy dark green hoodie and a grey fedora.

The strange creature delicately walked into the dungeon cell, looked around and said.
"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for your meddling sanity."
He looked down at Fluttershy with surprise before quickly changing to adoraton. He then turned away.

"Yes! This is finally the moment I've been waiting for! I can use my powers to make Fluttershy fall in love with me. *Cackle* Then I can finally settle down, maybe even have a family!" A small tingle traveled down his spine "Its going to be so Awesome!"

He turned back to Fluttershy with a manic look in his eyes. Slowly reciting a mantra, as if reading from a script.
"Fluttershy looked up at the human with lust in her eyes. She had never seen such a charming looking man before in her life, oh how she wanted to just rip off his clothes and make sweet sens--
"You do realize I'm here right?" The strange human took a double take while Fluttershy blushed heavily. "Sanity? What the fuck are you doing here? Let alone, cock blocking me! You're in my Waifu!"

"I've decided to intervene... besides, I thought the Pink one was your "Waifu""

... "Meh, I'm not picky, I'll get her when the time is right."

Yes, well, your powers won't be affecting my right hand. And, I must ask. Why by what is all right are you wearing a Fedora? Don't tell me you've finally lost it and become one of those *Shudder* hipsters? That's low, even for you."

"Fedora? The human looked up to his forehead with his two blue eyes. The place where the abomination rested. Now that Fluttershy could get a good look at him she noticed that he had deep purple rings under his eyes. Was he hurt? No, its seemed closer akin to sleep deprivation.

"Oh my. I had no idea this was here." He casually took the Fedora from his head and muttered a few words "As the Author muttered a few words the disgusting, yet stylish article of clothing disintegrated. Confirming no harm would come from it anymore."

Nothing happened. A confused look came to the Authors face. "Huh? I was sure th-- His ramblings were interrupted by the Fedora in his hands exploding in his face.

For a few seconds he stood stock still. Fluttershy looked on in concern. "Um, are you alright?"
No answer came though. He quietly sighed then turned to her. "Yeah, I guess." He slowly looked up at the clear sky from the hole in the wall he had created earlier. "Fucking asshole. He can't even treat his mental representation with respect."

Fluttershy was sure she could hear mad giggling come from somewhere, though she couldn't quite pinpoint from where.

He observed the room once again. Laying his eyes on the Strange cube that had started this all. "What the hell? Why is there a Companion Cube?" He started to casually walk towards it "Is this the work of the Author... or maybe Sanity?"

A few seconds passed before his gaze quickly came upon Fluttershy again "Sanity, I asked you a question. I know you're in there." Fluttershy could hear no response though. "I'm sorry Mr...? I never got your name." A look of understanding came upon his face "Oh, you can call me Lube."
Her previous blush returned at full force "L-Lube?"

He gave her a sultry grin "Silicone Lube for short. I'm joking though, you can call me Silicone, if you so wish."

"How is that shor-- never mind. I just wan't to go home." The hope in her eyes could sway mountains "I just want everything to go back to normal."

Lube gave her a cheeky grin "If that's all ya wanted than ya shouldeh bloody asked." he stated in a bad Scottish accent

He quickly turned around and shouted "I'd like to see you do better you fuck!"

Ignoring the strange creatures sudden outburst she turned to the so called "Companion Cube" What was the importance of such an object? Was it some sort of mystical item? Cherished once by a lost civilization? ... Nah.

"Its completely useless. At least it is now." She turned to the creature, he now had a sullen look on his face. "This cube was going to play a significant roll in the things to come..."

She observed the cube. Wondering how it could possibly be worth anything. Except for the cute heart it was nothing but a large, ornamental cube. "What is it exactly? I've never seen anything like it."

"Honestly, I don't know. It was supposed to be the bricks and bones of this story... but, now. Now its nothing more than a dejected plot point."

He slowly turned to Fluttershy. "Just. Like. You." The words were uttered without any emotion.

"This story could have gone somewhere. But, it didn't. So now, I'm going have to erase you."

The creature started to advance on Fluttershy with a devilish grin on his face

"No! I don't want to be erased! D: " Fluttershy squealed.

"Good! Because I'm just fucking with you."

"Wh-what? You're not go- gonna erase me?"

"Nope. I'm yanking your chain, pulling your leg, holding your noodle hostage, licking your--"

Fluttershy looked up at the creature with anger in her eyes. Ignoring his previous remark. How could he trick her like that? What horrible creature could do such a thing? Before she could berate him for being a "Big meanie" He smirked and said "Doesn't matter though. Have you ever played Majora's Mask?" Fluttershy was confuse "No. What's tha-- He interrupted though "Good! Neither have I!" He had of course. We don't want angry fan boys slitting his throat in the night do we? "Baby! Were going back to the start! :D "

Out of nowhere a beautiful song started to reverberate across the walls. Before Fluttershy could react her vision faded to black

Author's Note

Hey, guys! Wanna help me edit this mess? Moral of the chapter: Don't mess with a man's Pizza, also, time travel is fun.
Also, ending was overhauled. Details were changed and/or added.
Fuck were kinda given. But not many though...