Things where never the same. I couldn't see how it could, or ever will be. It was a drastic change, and the fact that no pony could have seen it coming, only made it worse. I wasn't sure of it, but I was more than certain I was hurt the most. A lot of ponies her, there's no doubt about that, but she was the closest thing to a mother I had. No pony knew what happened, and we searched for days. I spent endless nights looking for her and through it all I came out with no avail.
Sooner or later I had begun to sleep at night. After having almost every pony in Equestria telling me to give up, and that they've searched everywhere. The fact that I couldn't find her, and that I gave up, had begun to haunt me in my dreams. I couldn't sleep, even though I wanted to. The only bliss I could find after being awoken by the nightmares, was looking outside of my window.
The bright white moon and the millions of stars which shared the same black abyss. The light would mesmerize me, the beauty hiding the ugly truth, and the peaceful silence would drift me to a different place. A better place. Eventually, reality would come crashing through my happiness, hitting me right between my eyes. My mother. She was my happiness, and now I lay alone in a dark wooden house, which only held the memories of who I wished was here. The only light came from the very window I stared through.
I had begun to cry, just thinking of the life I now live alone, wondering if she's still out there, and if she feels the same. Through my constant sobbing, I managed to speak. "I miss you." I spoke to a lone star. It was a bit odd that it stood there alone, as all the others were in groups. My eyes became fixated on the star, completely unable to look away. I felt as if she was still there, and we were looking at the same star.
The tears began to stop, as only a couple of sniffs remained. With my mouth gapped open, I had become mesmerized by the beauty of the white sparkle, which illuminated the small bit of space it covered. Ever since she went missing, I had become dead set on finding her, and only now, after being forced to stay indoors, did I notice this star. I heard slight movement coming from behind me, and I turned my head in a flash. I examined the eerie darkness, trying to spot some sort of entity. Nothing.
I shrugged it off and looked back outside, staring into the precious night sky. I looked around frantically, trying to spot the lone star, only to find that it had disappeared. Was Luna playing tricks on me? It was her job to raise and perfectly align the stars after all. No, she wouldn't do that. I ignored the thought, looking back into the sky, looking for the illuminating ball with no luck. It was gone.
I didn't know what to think of it. I kept asking myself what was I staring at, yet had not a single answer. The night had become dull for me, and realizing that the star had disappeared only lead to disappointment. I felt a sharp pain in my chest. It was for a split second, yet felt like I had gotten stabbed. I unintentionally placed my hoof onto the exact place the pain came from. My heart. I removed my hoof expecting to see some sort of damage, but instead I ended up feeling a bit silly for placing it there in the first place, as there was not damage at all. I laughed slightly, and thought to myself that I've had enough of stargazing for that night.
I rested in my bed and stared into the pale, torn-up roof above me. I imagined the endless night sky, beaming with the luminescence of the millions of stars and moon. The peace made me think of my mother, and the thought of her reminded me of a stuffed animal she gave me. It was sitting on the counter to the left of my bed. I never did anything with it, and I kept it on the counter since I had first received the gift. I wasn't into naming stuffed animals, but this one meant a lot to me. His name was Mr. Sniffles.
I remember the day he got his name as well, almost as if it was yesterday. The bear gave me a feeling of affection, and it was something that would watch me as I slept. It was really the only way I could fall asleep at night, and since my mother was no longer here with me, I felt completely vulnerable. Looking at the bear gave me a feeling of protection. I knew it couldn't stop some pony who was trying to hurt me, but just knowing someone or something that I cared for was there helped. I stared at the bear for a long time, eventually reaching out and kissing it softly. "Good Night." I smiled and looked upwards towards the ceiling again. I tried to get the same image in my head as earlier, but I couldn't think straight. That whole night I tossed and turned in my bed, falling asleep in the wee little hours before sunrise.
The morning sunlight brought a different look into the dark and gloomy room from the night before. It was reassuring none the least, yet something seemed off today, and as I got out of my bed my morning daze was interrupted as I heard a loud frantic knocking at my door. Walking towards the door I opened it slowly, trying not to let the bright sunlight slip through. Through the tiny crack I still couldn't see the pony, so by curiosity I opened it wider, blocking the sun from my eyes. And as the door opened it revealed a young mare with devastating news.
I ran as quickly as I could to the Everfree forest tree line, and as I approached the miserable forest I spotted a distraught mare, resting lifelessly on the dark grass. At the sight of the lifeless body I ran faster, and as I had begun to see the body more clearly I stopped in my tracks. It was my mother. I didn't want to believe the young mare that came to my door, but her description was spot on. I stood there, my mouth wide open as I stared at her body, the chilly morning wind blowing her mane with the dark grass she rested upon.
From my angle, all I could see was her back and i quickly ran to her and held her in my hooves, dropping onto my haunches. I was afraid at first, but I needed to see her face, I had to confirm it. It was hard to do, but after swallowing the ball that formed in my throat, I turned her over, staring into her eyes. It was her. Her face was completely emotionless, body cold to the touch, and in her chest was a blade stabbing through her heart. I couldn't believe my eyes. I had told myself I'd find my mother, but I never expected to find her like this. I felt my eye lids as they began to flood with tears, the morning dew from the grass leaving a scent which did not fit situation.
I fell helpless under the pressure of losing my mother. Just when they told me to stop searching, she wound up dying that night. In my train of thought, tears poured down my face, bursting from my eyes as I sobbed heavily. Reality was too much to bear, and the sight of her like this ate me up. In the midst of my crying, I stared into her eyes deeper, looking into her pupil. I saw a twinkle from a lone star as it slowly faded away, taking all of the life in her eyes with it. After seeing this, I had begun to think to myself. Where we looking at the same star? Was that the last thing she saw? So many questions, and as the crying only got progressively harder, it had been impossible to think, yet one question remained. What happened? At this point, I wasn't sure if I wanted an answer to that question.
I noticed as my tears had begun to soak the body of my mother. Her eyes were wide open, and her mouth open as well. She deserved better. Out of my sympathy I reached down and shut her eyes, closing her mouth gently. She looked so peaceful, and I told myself she was in better place, but I didn’t want her to go. I couldn’t let her go. Looking back towards the blade, I was fueled with rage. I thought about pulling it out, but I didn’t want to see the damage. The blood from the wound had already dried up, and now stained her coat, and I could tell that the blade was long, and it had gone in deep.
I held her in my hooves, tightly. Soon, I could hear as the medics from the small town had begun to appear, standing behind me as they watched my sobbing into my mother. One of the medics proceeded to move closer, and he stepped within my radius I ordered him to back off. I wanted no one to touch her, and as long as I was conscious no one would. They continued to plead to me about how they needed to move the body and search for clues, but I wouldn’t allow them. She was in my hooves, and I’ve had enough truths for the day.
I only spoke once they would get too close for comfort, turning around and screaming at them in between sobs. Once I averted my gaze back towards my mother, I caressed her face, acknowledging her grace and beauty as she could now sleep forever. It made me sad to think about not having her anymore, but knowing she could finally rest gave me a feeling of relief and in the midst of my thought I could feel as somepony grabbed my hooves and put them behind my back. I shook as hard as I could, trying to get free, and I could feel his grip loosening. He had begun to grunt, trying desperately to keep me under his control, and just as I broke from his grasp, I could feel as more ponies had begun to hold me down, pulling me away from my mother’s body.
I cried hard and shook violently, completely filled with anger. No matter how hard I shook, I couldn’t get from their grip. Soon they tied my hooves together, placing my forelegs behind my back. They left me on the ground, the smell of the morning dew completely filling my nose as the wet water droplets soaked my stomach. I had begun to cry harder, clenching my teeth together tightly. From my position, I was forced to watch them as they carelessly carried the body and threw it onto a wooden wagon.
I was helpless yet again, and all I could do was scream and shout. I wasn’t saying words at this point, and was merely screaming as tears flood my eyes. They never came to untie me; all they did was watch as I lie there, screaming like a crazy pony, eyes completely red, and a face full of rage. They had escaped from my vision, and I could hear as they had gotten into their wagons, giving the ponies that pulled them very discreet directions.
They pulled off, and they left me tied up a few feet from the Everfree forest. I could still very clearly see the flattened grass my mother rested on when I found her. The blood from her wound now stained the very place she had been resting at. I couldn’t cry anymore, all of my tears had been drained. I rested on the ground for while, hoping nopony would find me. I was alone, and the guilt from not being able to stop the stallions had begun to make me ashamed of myself. I closed my eyes, and for the first time in a couple of weeks I felt like I could finally go to sleep.
The warm morning sun encased me in its rays, as the gentle blow of the cool wind blew through my mane, making the dark grass all around me dance. I couldn’t smile at the sight, even though I thought it was beautiful to begin with, and in the midst of it all, I was the only one around to enjoy it. It was hard to admire something like this with the rope still around my hooves, and after a long while of fondling with it, I had managed to remove them. I gazed at my hooves and examined the cuts from the rope, the cuts where deep, and the realization only greatened the pain, but eventually the Everfree stole my attention once more. I sat up, and rested on my haunches.
The grass all around me waved around, synchronized, and not a single one off. The sight gave me a feeling of unity, yet the area where my mother was resting still lie flat. I looked back for a moment, and cursed the city and all it had ever done for me, which was nothing. I walked towards the blood stained grass and felt the flat area. I examined the blood closely, touching it to see that it had dried up. After feeling the blood, I realized that there was a trail made from the same substance coming from within the forest. I slowly followed the blood trail, not having a single clue of what to expect, and trail had eventually lead to halt.
The blood trail only got thinner and thinner until now. Now it was just gone. I expected to see a huge blood puddle at the end of this trail, and as I finally lifted my head, I saw a peculiar area. The sun had shone through the trees, and that was the only place where the Everfree allowed the sunlight to touch the ground. I walked into the area, and was shocked by my discovery. There was a blood puddle, and in the puddle, lie a note. The sight was enough to take in, and I was debating with myself on if I should read the note or not.
I reached out to grab the note, and as I held it in my hooves, dead silence fell onto the small area. A huge chill traveled down my spine as I opened it slowly, and I had begun to read it as my eyes began to flood. “I love you, and I’ll always be here, blowing through the wind. Be strong.” That was all it said. My tears had begun to soak the blood stained paper, and after wiping them away, I folded the paper back to its original state. I traced my footsteps to find my way back out of the Everfree. I knew that I could just follow the blood, but it was too much to look at.
As I broke from the forest I felt as the cool chilly wind blew through my mane. I thought back to the letter which was now in my mouth. “I’ll always be here, blowing through the wind.” I watched as the wind blew through the air, so gracefully and free. I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore. I had just lost the one who meant the most to me, and now I have nothing in my life. I was truly alone. I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up quickly and ran back towards the town, leaving behind me a trail of tears.
I looked back for a quick moment, and noticed as her body was resting in the grass. I stopped and blinked, looking a bit harder, and as I did the body disappeared. It was a cruel trick, and it had left me breathless. I turned back around; trying to figure out what did I see. The tears had begun to disappear, and I was confused by it all. Did I want her to be here so much that my mind brought her here? Or was it my eyes playing tricks on me? I didn’t know what to think of it, and I continued to my home.
It was late in the afternoon, and I had been staring up into the same pale torn-up roof all day. My hooves still haven’t fully recovered, and I no longer had tears to cry. When she disappeared, I was sad and distraught, but I always had hope in the back of my head. I told myself she was still alive, but now that she’s dead it’s all gone to crap. I knew I had no reason to live, and living with my mother in the wind seemed like a good plan.
I had gotten up, and walked into the kitchen, dragging my hooves behind me. I looked at my reflection from the refrigerator mirror. I had dark rings around my eyes, a scruffy coat, and my mane was a complete mess. I placed my hoof onto my face. My eyes were bloodshot red. I was so tired. I was tired of everything. I wanted to sleep forever. I looked into the kitchen drawers and found a blade. It was sharp, and was made of stainless steel.
I held the blade up to the afternoon sunlight which came from the window behind me. It glistened and shone. “Perfect….” I walked outside, holding the blade tightly in my mouth. I walked towards the Everfree forest, and as I neared the tree line I could feel the aggressive wind as it blew in my face. I placed my hoof in front of my eyes to protect them from the flying debris. I walked against the wind and sat down on the opposite side of where my mother last rested. I fell onto my side, and imagined that she was still there.
She was smiling at me, and I was smiling back. I whispered. “I love you.” I could hear the wind as it brought her message to my ears. “I love you too.” It was a bit faded, but I knew it was her. It sounded exactly like her. I smiled and placed the blade onto my chest. I felt around for my heart and made sure the plunge would be fatal. A tear fell from my eye as my mother still held the smile on her face. “Here I come…” I began piercing into my chest, the pain completely excruciating. I screamed aloud, and forced the blade into my heart, making sure it went handle deep.
My eyes shot open from the sudden burst of pain, as my life flashed before my eyes. The orphanage, when she found me, the first time I got Mr. Sniffles, all the times she’d rock me to sleep, when she’d smile at me, and the last thing to pop into my head before my final breath was taken, was the time she kissed me on my forehead and whispered that she loved me into my ear. The blood began to pour out of my wound, staining the grass I rested on, and as the blood poured out, it flowed to my mother’s. The once aggressive wind became a soft chill. I was happy. I could finally get some long needed rest, and I’d never have to sleep alone, because my mother was right here with me.
