"God dammit!" shouted Bill Boberson, head of the Burger Kingdom," Every damn time! McDonalds beat us again! I can't believe they invented time travel, and then gave burgers to the American soldiers during the revolution," He was sweating profusely, due to his rotund figure, and with every motion his tuxedo became more and more soaked in sticky sweat. His bald spot glistened, as he turned an angry shade of beet red. His nostrils flared as he raged at McDonalds.

"Boss, we could always just use our time machine and go back a little bit further," said Jerry helpfully. His appearance didn't really matter, as his life was about to end," wait what?" Jerry asked the narrator in a confused voice.

Bill for his part was remaining exceptionally calm, resorting to merely rubbing his temples in frustration.

"Someone please execute Jerry," said Bill. Almost immediately eighteen men(admittedly to many) came into the large business room, each brandishing a razor sharp bar of soap. They approached Jerry slowly, boxing him in so that he couldn't escape.

"No! Please Don't!" Jerry screamed, but alas, it was too late. The men in black were soon upon him, furiously washing his feet. Jerry thrashed and screamed in agony as the men continued to scrub his bunions. After about three whole days of washing Jerry couldn't take it anymore, and he died of cleanliness.

"Now then," said Bill as he bent over the long, wooden, rectangular table that had four other sexy businessmen seated in front of it," does anyone else have an idea?"

Ben Stiller gulped. It hadn't been long ago that he'd quit acting, and already he was regretting the decision. He racked his brain for ideas before the perfect one entered his supple, delicious brain.

"Sir," Ben said nervously," McDonalds may have us beat here, but what about other universes?"

Bill couldn't believe his ears. Ben Stiller, a B-list actor at best, had just presented him with the solution to everyone's problems.

"Bill you're a genius, we'll send one of our men across dimensions to advertise our new Mini Mini Whopper, the Whopper that is the size of a pinhead."

"But sir," interjected Ben," Who would be right for the job?"

"I know exactly who," Bill laughed and smiled ominously," fetch me The Burger King."

______________________________________________

Burger King gave the thumbs up, and put on his safety goggles.

"All clear!" yelled Bill," prepare for inter-dimensional transport."

"Sir," said Ben Stiller," I hope you don't mind me asking, but how does this thing even work?"

"Well, Ben, you see that enormous candy cane?"

"Yeah."

"That's it."

"Fascinating."

Bill pulled a large red switch and the giant candy cane poured gallons of walnut paste onto the Burger King. There was a bright flash, and in an instant the Burger King was gone.

__________________________________________________

Burger King awoke to find himself in a most peculiar position. He was upside-down, and tied up like a piñata. Even more baffling however were his surroundings. He saw nothing but bright pink streamers everywhere, literally, the floor was nowhere in sight, heck, neither were the walls or ceiling.

Burger King rotated his head one hundred and eighty degrees to see that behind him was a shocked and scared little pink pony. He thought it was possibly the most adorable thing since the Whopper Jr. and it hurt his heart to see her so scared. So he did what I'm sure any of you would do in such a situation, he activated the buzz saw in his chest and freed himself. Then he approached the adorable pink pony with the intention of calming her through sexual assault.

"S-s-stay back you...piñata thief!" the pink pony shouted.

"Why?" replied The Burger King, breaking his creepy, and stoic demeanor," All I want is to have sex with you."

The pony's expression instantly changed to one of pure joy.

"Really? Well why didn't you just say so, my name is Pinkie Pie by the way, and I love sex! It's the greatest party ever, a party in your pants!" Pinkie giggled uncontrollably, entertained by her own little joke. The Burger King shushed her with his finger.

"Shut up and kiss me." he said seductively.

Pinkie tackled him to the ground, planting wet, sloppy kisses on Burger King's massive porcelain head. She kissed him savagely, leaving no inch of his head unkissed. Then, she nibbled at his neck, eliciting an aroused giggle from The Burger King. She unbuttoned his Hawaiian shirt, slowly kissing down his toned chest, pausing for a moment to lick his six pack. After she was done making out with his abdominals she kissed down even further, reaching her prize. She unbuttoned his jean shorts, and pulled down the zipper. Truly these were admirable feats for someone with hooves, but for Pinkie doing things such as this were really no problem.

Pinkie saw the boxers with the burger pattern and grabbed them in her teeth. With one hard pull she ripped them from The Burger King's waist, releasing his enormous, rock-hard burger dick. Pinkie marveled at it's massive size, poking it with a hoof. She grabbed it with her forlegs, enjoying the weight and feel of it's incredible length and girth. The thick, rippling veins that covered it fascinated her.

"I've never seen such a huge cock before," Pinkie said incredulously," it's beautiful. Kind of like a swan covered in hair and sweat," Pinkie stroked The Burger King's dick a few times, smiling at the aroused gasps escaping his mouth with each passing stroke.

Pinkie then licked the big, pink head, causing The Burger King to release a soft moan. She giggled and puckered her lips, placing a kiss on his wet penishole. Another moan escaped The Burger King. She decided to toy with him yet again, giving his penis one good, long lick from tip to base.

"Pinkie, please stop teasing me."

Pinkie complied, taking the head of his burger dick into her mouth. She further tongued the tip of his penis, then she slid the huge cock into her mouth until she couldn't fit anymore dick in her gullet. She had only really gotten about half of the massive meatstick into her mouth, but she decided to work with it. Slowly she bobbed her head up and down, licking his sensitive glans with her skilled tongue. Simultaneously she was using her right hoof to furiously rub her wet cunt, moaning in pleasure even with the dynamic dick in her mouth.

"Pinkie that feels amazing," gasped The Burger King. Pinkie began to knead his balls, with one hoof. This sent The Burger King over the edge. He released wave after wave of sticky seminal fluids down Pinkie's throat. Pinkie, for her part was doing an amazing job at swallowing The Burger King's voluminous load.

Once The Burger King stopped cumming Pinkie released his cock from the confines of her mouth,sputtering and gasping for air. Pinkie licked the few drops of cum that managed to spill off of her lips, and kissed The Burger King's porcelain lips before positioning herself over his still hard cock.

She put her hoof down by her pussy again, wiping off some of the lubricant she had produced in her arousal. She showed her hoof to The Burger King.

"See how wet you made me? Now I want your massive member in my slippery slit." Pinkie then lowered herself down upon The Burger King's big burger dick, putting the entire thing inside of her with one powerful push of Pinkie power.
She cried out in pleasure and pain as she began to slide up and down on the power pole, the pounding of her rump against his hips creating a rhythmic fapping sound.

Their various moans and screams created a symphony of sex as their sweat caused the streamers that were all over the floor to stick to their bodies. Not that they minded, they were too busy having the sex trip of their lives. As they drew closer and closer to orgasm Pinkie began to bear down even harder on the massive, mammoth-like member. It was hitting her in all the right places, it's girth easily reached her g-spot, and its incredible length caused her to scream in wild ecstasy every time it slammed into her cervix. Over time she began to convert into nothing more than a feral, cock hungry beast.

"FUCK ME, FUCK ME!" Pinkie screamed like a wild animal, as she began to rock back and forth on The Burger King's mighty rod. The Burger King acquiesced to her demand, beginning his own rhythm of humping to match Pinkie's wild rocking. Eventually the throws of orgasm prepared to strike both of them, ready to thrust upon them a kind of pleasure neither had ever felt before.

Pinkie came first,shuddered as the pleasure of orgasm washed over her, rocking her entire body and launching her into spasms. She cried out as her femjizz coated The Burger King's lower body in slippery slit secretions. This sent him over the edge, launching him into his own twisted fit of cum and convulsions. His body tightened as he unleashed his powerful cum cannon deep inside of Pinkie, filling her womb with the future labor of their love.

Pinkie wasn't done though, and neither was The Burger King. They stared into each other's eyes, each sending and receiving their respective signals of unwavering lust. Pinkie turned her ass towards The Burger King. He got the message loud and clear. Pinkie wanted it doggy style, and she wanted him to deliver.

"No problem," The Burger King thought to himself,"If there's any way that I'm not like the restaurant of the same name, it's that I definitely do deliver. " So he placed the head of his cock at the lips of Pinkie's thoroughly soaked labia.

"Ram me hard," said Pinkie. The Burger King did just that, burying his colossal chemical cannon into her curvaceous, cavernous cunt. He thrusted into her, full force, his balls slapping against Pinkie's clitoris, only adding to the immense pleasure. They both released guttural moans as they tried to satiate their incredible lust, each one doing their part to intensify the other's experience.

This time The Burger King was the first to succumb to the sweet, sensual siren song known as orgasm. He released another load of cum, this time overflowing Pinkie's vacuous vagina. The shock alone sent Pinkie into another violent climax, squirting both her and her partner's orgasmic fluids all over The Burger King's waist.

They collapsed in a sweaty , panting heap, basking in the afterglow, with several cups of creamy cum still pouring from Pinkie's spacious slit and onto the streamer covered floor.

"You were amazing," Pinkie said in between pants.

"That's high praise, but all that matters to me is that you had it your way."

Pinkie smiled, but then she realized what he had just said.

"What did you just say?"

"I said that's high praise."

"I KNEW IT!" Pinkie punched The Burger King's porcelain head, shattering it into pieces revealing the real person she had had sex with. She couldn't believe it, her suspicions were correct.

It had been Nicholas Cage the whole time.

Author's Note

You're welcome. I really felt like there wasn't enough fast-food themed porn on this website.