Where do we go after we die? Does it all just end? Is there a ‘heaven’ or a ‘hell?’ The only people who can truly answer those questions aren't around for us to ask. Those very questions have always plagued me. What I didn't know however, is that I would be getting the answer to some of them sooner than I ever thought possible. This is the story of my life after I died. My life in Equestria. My second chance.
Life. Some never truly appreciate it for what it is. Others squander it and live as though nothing could ever go wrong. I was sadly in the same category. I didn't care. Well, more accurately, I was always more interested in the ‘afterlife’ so to speak.
First off, let me explain a little bit about myself. I’m a seventeen year old brony, not to even mention the fact that I'm bi, and I have always been a shy person. That in itself isn't too bad, but I ended up being a bit of a shut-in because of it. For nearly my entire life I was depressed, slightly caused by my forced seclusion, and also by being teased. Teased for what you may ask? Anything from my name, to the fact that I’m bi. After years of living with that, I came to the fact that I no longer cared what anyone else did, or said. I was ‘happy’ again. But I was alone. That would change soon though, whether I liked it or not.
Yawning loudly, I rolled over stretching my arms, hearing several satisfying pops from my joints. "Ugh... What to do today?" I muttered to myself quietly. Turning slightly I looked back at the clock. What I saw made me cry out as though in pain. "What in the hell am I doing up at six in the morning?!" I whined to no one in particular.
Flopping back on my, oh so spacious, twin bed, I reached over and grabbed my pack of cigarettes, lighter and ashtray. "Might as well start the day off right. Killing my lungs, one cancer stick at a time," I jokingly said to myself. I started to look around my room only to realize something wrong. "Damn. I always forget I'm as blind as a bat," I thought out loud. "Now where did those glasses run off to?" Turning on the totally manly crayon light on my nightstand, I squinted back at my headboard and was rewarded by finding the elusive eyepieces.
Slipping them on my face, and only managing to stab myself in one eye, I took a second glance around my room. Finally deciding I probably wasn't getting back to sleep any time soon, I figured I might as well get up.
After showering and quickly getting dressed, I snatched my keys and cigarettes before heading out the door. Making sure to lock it tightly behind me. Lighting a cigarette, I started walking down the street, no real goal in mind. While walking I couldn't stop myself from looking around; admiring both the mild day, and the amazing crimson leaves. Relishing in the view, I didn't notice the car until it was too late.
Crying out in pain as it collided with me, I had one last conscious thought before everything went black. 'Huh. That didn't hurt too bad.' After that, I slowly fell down through an everlasting black pit.
I've always heard that regaining consciousness is supposed to be a disorienting, and confusing experience. My expectations were met, and very greatly surpassed. One moment it was just the empty blackness that I had been falling through, and the next, pain. There was no thought. There was no wondering what had happened. I hurt everywhere. Not one part of me was without at least some pain.
I could hear voices, well, more accurately, I could hear several words of conversation. With the state I was in, I didn't much care, even though what I heard scared me almost as much as the pain.
"... several broken..."
"Doctor!!... both legs.."
"Just give... shot!!"
"... losing pulse!!"
All at once the pain started fading into a numbness that was growing throughout my body. The voices I could hear before were fading even more. It was then that I realized that I was actually dying. 'Please let me go somewhere better. Any place, just not where I was.'
Emptiness. I could feel my body. But it felt, wrong. I tried opening my eyes, but was met with nothing. I wasn't sure if I actually had died, or if I was dreaming, because all I could see when I looked around, was black. I tried to rub my eyes, and was confused when I couldn't feel my fingers. And my face, it wasn't right, it was... furry.
"This has got to be a dream." I muttered into the empty void. "There is no way."
I looked around again, trying to see something, anything. Getting unsteadily to my feet, er... hooves. I tried to get a better idea of what, if anything was around me. Wait! In the distance! I saw what looked like a white dot. Peering harder, I realized it was growing steadily larger, and it seemed like it was getting closer.
'Its getting a bit warm.' I thought as sweat started to bead on my brow.
The white dot soon grew to an enormous size, bringing with it even more heat. I tried to back away, but not being used to my now, four legs, I fell back on my haunches. It started getting unbearably hot, and it was too bright to look at any longer. I scrambled to get my footing, and tried to run. Looking over my shoulder, I saw only white. Right when I thought I would either be crushed by it, or burned to a crisp, I forcibly awoke.
"AHHH! HELP!" I screamed, while my eyes flew open. The same blinding white light as in my 'dream' was blinding me still! I could feel several people trying to hold me down, and someone was saying something, but I was too scared to listen. Struggling with all my might, I finally managed to kick them off of me. Only to roll off the bed and land face first on the floor with a resounding, "Oof." That stole my breath.
My eyes finally started to adjust to the light as I tried to catch my breath. The first thing I saw were hooves. My own, and several other pairs, that seemed to be trying to get me back on the bed. "It can't be. There's no way I could be here," was all I managed to gasp out before I felt a prick, and the blackness overtook me once again.
Waking up this time was a much more calm affair for two reasons: One, I didn't have any giant white suns chasing me through my dreams. The other reason being that I woke up much slower, and I was still slightly dazed by whatever I was injected with. Slowly cracking my eyes open, I thought for a second that I had dreamt it all. Reaching up to rub my eyes I squeed in absolute joy. I still had hooves! I didn't dream it all! I'm actually in Equestria! I just squeed! And it sounded cute, just like the show! I started to slowly look around the room, noticing a window with the most beautiful view of a grassy meadow to my right. I could hear birds chirping, and someone had opened it just enough that I could feel a warm summer breeze floating in.
Before I could really inspect anything else in my room, I heard someone... Somepony clop into the room before saying in a happy tone, "Oh good, you're finally awake! We were worried about you, especially with how you reacted yesterday." I immediately swiveled my head to look at her. Her brilliant blue eyes showed the worry that she had voiced a moment ago. Smiling politely, she said in the same happy tone as before, "I'm Nurse Redheart, and you're in the Ponyville General Hospital. Are you feeling alright?" While she was talking she walked over and began taking my vitals.
Smiling back, while trying to understand how I got to Equestria, much less the hospital, I replied just as happily, "I feel okay. I'm still a bit dizzy from whatever was given to me, but other than that no complaints. Oh! Could I please have a glass of water?"
After she finished going over my vitals, she reached over to a tray that I had missed, and poured me a glass, before hoofing it to me. Not even stopping to question how I was able to hold it, I drank almost the whole glass before setting it back down. "Thank you, I needed that."
"Oh it's no problem, dear. But, I need to ask you a few questions, if you are feeling up to it," Nurse Redheart stated more than questioned. By the look in her eyes, I knew this was going to be important.
I gulped, trying to swallow the lump that had begun to form in my throat. "Uh. Sure, t-that shouldn't be a p-problem," I stuttered, suddenly extremely nervous.
Redheart gave me what I assume she thought was a reassuring smile, but seemed more like a pained grimace. "Alright dear, first; what's your name?"
'Should I use my real name? Should I tell her where I'm actually from? Will she even believe me? Should I make something up so she doesn't think I'm crazy?' Those thoughts, and about a hundred others flew through my head all in the blink of an eye. 'Shit. I have to say something. Might as well stick to the truth as long as possible.' I finally cleared my throat, and answered simply, "I'm Colton."
"Where are you from," Redheart asked with the same look in her eyes.
'Buck me.'
'Oh, I was so hoping she would wait to ask that... Come on brain, we need to find a way out of this. Think of something smart to say!'
"Uhh... Well, about that," I started stupidly. 'Thanks for that brain. A winning statement if I've ever heard one. Why must you always make me sound stupid?' The look on Nurse Redheart's face wasn't helping my thought process any either. It was a cross between a grimace and an almost patronizing look. 'I do believe I'm in trouble now.'
Hoping a vague answer might suffice, I finally answered, not meeting her piercing cobalt gaze. "I'm from... very far away," I answered slowly to the potted tree that I had just noticed behind Nurse Redheart.
After what felt like at least ten minutes, but was probably closer to one, I finally tore my gaze away from the ficus to see what Redheart was doing. She was just giving me a somewhat sad look, and when she saw me glance back at her, she gave me a halfhearted smile before clearing her throat slightly.
"I won't press the matter. Do you know how you ended up asleep on the road outside Ponyville?" Redheart questioned.
"Um, no I don't know. I honestly don't know how I got anywhere near Ponyville at all," I answered truthfully.
"A pony named Applejack saw you just past her fence. She tried to wake you up multiple times, but you weren't responding. She finally carried you here on her back. Applejack stayed with you for the first two days, but we had her leave yesterday. After you, um, fell off the bed screaming," Nurse Redheart explained quickly. "Your vitals are all fine, and you don't seem to be hurt in any way. So you can check out now if you want to. I just need to grab the papers from the doctor."
"Yeah, that'd be nice. I don't really like hospitals all that much," I said with a half smile.
"Alright, I'll be right back with those. Anything else you need before I go?" Redheart politely asked, walking towards the door.
"No, that should be-" I started before my stomach grumbled. Blushing slightly I said, "Something to eat would be nice."
"Of course, I'll bring a daisy sandwich and some hay fries," Redheart said with the happy tone from earlier, accompanied with a smile.
'Oh, yay. Guess I get to be a vegetarian now. Totally didn't think about that. Oh well, what can you do?'
'Wait. I've really been in Equestria for at least three days, and I still don't know what I look like?' Resisting the urge to facehoof, I slid off the bed. "Oof," was all I could say as I slammed face first into the floor. "I really need to get a hang of this whole walking with hooves thing," I muttered peeling my face off the tiles.
Carefully getting back up, I had a moment of triumph, before I tried to walk. Tripping over my own hooves I stumbled around like a drunken pony for a few moments. "Yay! I didn't end up on my face that time!" I exclaimed to nopony in particular. Spying the door to what I believed was the bathroom, I stumbled over to it.
"Okay. New problem. How the buck do I open doors with hooves? Wait, don't think about it. Just like I still want to know how I held the water glass. But that's not important now!" I said to myself. 'I really need to stop talking to myself out loud. Peo- Ponies might think I'm insane. Well... if I tell them where I'm actually from they will really think I'm insane.' Figuring talking to myself wasn't going to help anything, I lifted a hoof to the doorknob. To my very great surprise I was able to grab and turn it! 'Don't question it. Don't do it brain, it isn't worth it.'
Pushing the door open I was greeted with a small bathroom. 'Time to finally see what my ugly mug turned into.'
"Hmm. Not bad, definitely better than I was as a human," I mused to myself. 'I'm an Earth Pony. Kinda gathered that already, but it's always nice to be sure. I would've liked to be a Pegasus, but I'm okay with this. Slate gray coat; that's definitely me. Dull and boring. Cyan mane with royal blue running through it. Now that I like. Almost icy blue eyes, I've always wanted blue eyes. Wait! Wow, I feel stupid now. I didn't even think to look at my cutie mark.' Succumbing to the urge to facehoof (which hurt a lot more than I expected. Stupid hooves), I twisted back, and looked at my flank.
"Now what in the world does that mean? A gray swirl in a black ring, surrounded by a blue cloud thing with white specks in it. That is one of the most bizarre cutie marks I've ever seen," I again said to myself before shaking my head a few times, and starting to walk out the door.
"Well, no point being vain, might as well figure out how to sit on the bed comfortably and wait for Redheart." Stumbling my way back to the bed, I climbed on it. "So far so good, now, should I sit like a human, or just lie on my stomach?" I pondered, before coming to the conclusion I'd most likely tip over if I tried sitting up. 'Laying down it is then.'
Right after I got comfortable I heard a quiet conversation, accompanied by the sound of two sets of hooves coming towards my room. Swiveling my ears, which was a bit odd to get used to might I add. I pondered for a second, who else might be coming? When I heard a familiar southern drawl, "Ah do hope he's okay. I was mighty worried about 'em. 'Specially when he didn't wanna wake up. Then tha' whole commotion yesterday."
"Just wait out here a moment, I want to make sure he's okay with a visitor," I heard Redheart say quietly, before she stuck her head in the door. "I have the papers, and your lunch right here, hun. I also happened to find a certain somepony when I was getting them. Is it alright if she comes in?"
"Of course it is," I replied politely. Redheart stepped inside, and out of the way of the door, letting Applejack come in. Redheart grabbed the tray of food, and the papers off her back with surprising dexterity, and set them in front of me on the bed. Thanking her with a smile and a nod, I turned towards AJ, who was still hovering slightly uncomfortably near the door. Deciding I should probably play dumb, so to speak, and getting a little unsettled by her nervousness, I quietly asked, "You would be the pony who saved me I'm guessing?"
"Well ah don't know about savin' ya, but yeah ah'm tha pony who brought ya here," Applejack said while scuffing a hoof on the floor. 'Ah- I mean, I don't understand why she's so uncomfortable,' I thought to myself.
Cutting through the awkward silence as though it wasn't even there, Redheart excused herself, "I'll leave you two to talk. Just drop those papers off at the desk on your way out. Have a good day, both of you." She walked quickly out the door, leaving the same awkward silence to invade the room again.
Trying unsuccessfully to pull a Fluttershy, and hide behind my mane, (stupid short mane...) I decided to try and eat something. Picking up the actually very appetizing looking daisy sandwich, I took a bite. 'Wow, must be something with being a pony now, but this really tastes amazing!' I mentally screamed out. Looking up, I realized that Applejack was still standing in the same place, looking around and shifting awkwardly. Swallowing the mouthful of my new favorite food, I set the sandwich back down and cleared my throat softly, which immediately made AJ shift her emerald gaze right to me. 'Now what smart guy?' My brain thought, oh so very helpfully.
"You're Applejack right?" I asked, more out of just trying to break the silence, then actually getting a conversation going.
AJ seemed to grasp onto the question like a lifeline. "Yeah, that's me. I never did get yer name though," Applejack said with an almost hesitant tone.
"Oh yeah, how rude of me. I'm Colton, and I really should have thanked you sooner, but thank you so much for giving me a hoof," I replied with my kindest smile. Which resulted in the cutest little smile I've ever seen, I thought for a second I was going to die of D'awwww poisoning.
"Aw shucks, 'twas nothin' really. I just did what anypony would do," Applejack said modestly, with the ghost of a blush playing across her cheeks. Seemingly a little more calm than she was previously, AJ pulled a chair from near the door over by the bed, and sat down. Giving me a half smile, she asked, "So where exactly are ye from anyway?"
'Why must everyone, always ask that first?' I thought, wilting slightly at the prospect of having to lie to the Element of Honesty. "Can we just leave it at 'I'm from a long ways away, please?" I questioned with a slightly pained expression on my face. I could see it in the look Applejack was giving me, that she knew there was a lot more to it, but to my great relief she didn't call me on it.
"Alrighty then. So how'd y'all end up on the road in front of Sweet Apple Acres, iff'in ya ain't from 'round these parts?" Applejack asked with unguarded curiosity, and maybe a little suspicion.
'Ah, something I can answer entirely truthfully! Yay me! *Squee*' I thought happily. "I honestly don't have an answer for that one Applejack. I can't remember how I would have even gotten there," I spoke with the whole truth for what felt the first time in ages.
"So where're ya stayin' at?" Applejack queried with the pony equivalent of a raised eyebrow.
"Erm. I haven't really thought about that to be honest. At the moment, I have nowhere to stay," I responded, my voice filling with more despair every word I spoke. Looking down towards my forgotten meal, I was unable to see Applejack lean towards me, so I was startled when I felt a hoof touch my shoulder. Turning my head, I saw that Applejack was giving me a sad smile.
"Hey now, none of that. Ya'hear? If yer needin' a place to stay till ya get yer hooves under ya, then jus' say tha word. I'd be mighty happy to have ya down at Sweet Apple Acres, so long as ya don't mind gettin' yer hooves dirty, so to speak," Applejack offered kindly, while pulling her hoof back. 'Wow, this really is a land of kindness. It's going to be a little hard getting used to this. Especially after living in Colorado almost my entire life,' I thought almost wistfully.
"Thank you Applejack, really. You don't understand how much that means to me," I said quietly, as I noticed my vision start to blur slightly. 'Tears. What are you doing tears? TEARS! STAHP!' I mentally scolded myself, with a way overused meme.
"Mah friends call me AJ," Applejack corrected kindly. "Now hows about we git ya outta here? Ah'm meetin a few of mah friends for a picnic, an' yer sure as sugar invited."
"Appl-- AJ,"I corrected quickly with a smirk. "I think that's a great idea, I would love to meet some of your friends."
'Just gotta sign these papers, and I'm free to go,' I thought. 'New problem: HOW DO I WRITE WITH HOOVES?!' Trying to hide the anxiety creeping up inside of me, I grabbed the quill with a hoof. 'Okay. Now just scribble something on the line. I can do this!' Or so I thought. Just as I went to put the quill into the inkwell, I twitched. 'NO!' AJ being my savior yet again, grabbed the inkwell, and steadied it on the tray. Nodding my thanks, I tried again, and was met with success! Letting the excess ink drain off, I hovered the quill over the paper for a moment. Glancing it over, I realized that Equestrian medical was entirely free! 'Oh that is so awesome. Bit of a good thing too, seeing as I'm broke, and without a job,' I quipped, sending a silent prayer of thanks to Celestia and Luna. 'No more dilly dallying, just sign the thing already.' Seeing the big X at the bottom, I scrawled my name very untidily across the line.
Dropping the quill back into the inkwell, I grabbed the papers in my mouth, and made a mumbled attempt at, "Let's blow this joint!" Which came out more like, "Lmph blph tfis jomph!" Before fate made me land square on my nose again. "Ow..."
I will give Applejack credit. She managed to hold her laughter in quite well, except the very audible snort. Looking up, I saw comical stars floating about and had to resist the urge to say, 'Oooh. Pretty stars.' When the celestial beings left my vision, and the room stopped moving, I grabbed AJ's proffered hoof. Only to have my foreleg almost wrenched out of my socket. 'Ow. Strong pony is strong,' my brain commented helpfully.
Undeterred by giving the floor an unexpected hug for the second time today, I cantered out the door. 'Amazing, I can actually move! Without tripping over my hooves!' Fate had it out for me today though. Just as I crossed the threshold of my once room, I stumbled, and almost gave the wall a hug too. 'Okay, let's just try walking,' I muttered internally. 'Stupid hooves.'
With Applejack behind me, snickering the whole way, I managed to almost fall several more times, before applying the logic I had with other things; 'Just don't think about it.' Which worked well, until I thought about it again. Running head-first into the nurse's station, made me sit back on my haunches. Rubbing the, now rather large, bump on my forehead with a hoof, I stood unsteadily, and dropped the papers on the counter in front of a nurse. She gave me a troubled look, and was about to say something when I chuckled slightly before saying happily, "Don't worry. I have a hard head." To which the nurse grimaced, and Applejack snorted, yet again.
Smiling larger than should be allowed on pony facial features, I walked out of the hospital next to AJ. "So where are we headed?" I asked Applejack, turning my head slightly to see her.
"We're headin' to the southwestern orchard at Sweet Apple Acres, it's where the girls and ah always have our picnics," AJ responded with a glance in my direction.
As we cantered along, I let my mind wander freely. 'Equestria really is amazing,' my brain noted, deciding to state the obvious as usual. 'It's so peaceful. And it all looks so perfect. The air is so clean, the flowers are beautiful, even the houses have a sort of natural charm to them. This is where I have always wanted to be.'
In my reverie, I didn't notice when Applejack stopped in front of me, and I was treated to a face-full of pony. Stepping back quickly, I proceeded to blush profusely, while babbling, "I'm-so-sorry! I-was-daydreaming-and-didn't-see-you-stop!"
Focusing on AJ, I noticed she was blushing as well, albeit, quite a lot less than me. I suddenly found my hooves very interesting, and proceeded to draw circles in the dirt with them. Halfway through my third hoof-circle, I was interrupted by a very lady-like cough from off to my right, followed by a loud gasp, and a whoosh. Wait, Applejack is on my left side. 'Oh dear, we're in the orchard aren't we?' My brain again stated the already obvious, which it seems great at doing. Looking to my right slowly, I noticed the eyes of everypony, and dragon, were on me. 'Why is everypony staring at me? Well, everypony except Rainbow and Fluttershy.' Rainbow was busy rolling back and forth across the grass having troubles breathing. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she found me running into AJ a little bit funny. Fluttershy on the other hoof, was busy doing what she does best. Hiding behind her mane. (CURSE YOU AND YOUR LONG MANE!)
Applejack finally decided that enough was enough and took pity on me, "That's 'bout enough now everypony. Don't ya know it ain't polite to stare? Rainbow, cut it out. Fluttershy, is that really needed? Ah thought you was over being scared of new ponies?" Immediately, Twilight and Rarity both had the decency to give somewhat sheepish smiles, which I returned in full. Spike was giving me a curious look, but quickly averted his gaze once he noticed I was looking at him. Rainbow had finally caught her breath, and was busy wiping her eyes with a hoof. Fluttershy, gave a small *meep* when I looked at her, and hid behind her mane again. Pink-- 'Pinkie was just here a second ago... I have a bad feeling in the pit of my everything.'
Seemingly oblivious to my panic, Applejack decided now was the perfect time for introductions, "Everypony, this here, is Colton. He's not from 'round here, and he might end up stayin' here at Sweet Apple Acres for a while." Turning to me, she started naming off the other ponies there, "Colton, these are my best friends, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Spike and Pink--"
Applejack was suddenly cut off as a loud bang, accompanied by the sound of several party favors, rang out through the trees. Dropping to the ground quickly, I slammed my eyes shut, covered my ears with my hooves, and waited for the ringing to stop. After a few moments of being curled into a pony fetal position I figured I'd try to see what was going on. Cracking my eyes open slightly, I was met with a wall of pink with blue eyes. Quickly shutting my eyes again, I was able to hear a giggle through the ringing. A giggle that sounded slightly Pinkie-ish.
Once the ringing finally faded away, I could hear Twilight somewhere in front of me, "Pinkie, I really don't think he's playing peek-a-boo with you. If anything, I think you just scared him really bad. Look, he's shaking." Trying to regain some of my dignity, I forced the tremors, that were unknowingly racking my body, to stop. Peeking out through one slitted eye, I saw that Pinkie had been taken to a safe distance, and that I was able to rejoin the world outside my eyelids.
Slowly getting back on my hooves, I gave a meek smile to everypony. "I don't like surprises... Sorry Pinkie," I apologized, before resuming my earlier circle-drawing.
Hearing somepony get closer, I unintentionally drew back slightly, before I looked up to see Fluttershy looking at me with a knowing gaze. "It's alright Colton. I'm sorry that I tried to hide from you earlier, but you'll be fine, we're all friends here," Fluttershy said in her beautiful, dulcet, tones.
"Thank you Fluttershy, it means the world to me, to just show up in town, and meet such wonderful ponies," I said with a couple tears of joy rolling down my face. Lifting a wing, Fluttershy wiped them away. She surprised me slightly, by wrapping her forelegs around me, and giving me a firm, but gentle hug. Which I was all too happy to return.