Harpflank and Sweets

by Arcainum

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Trixie, Octavia, Bon-Bon, Random, DJ P0N-3, Lyra
Length: 102986

Lyra and Bon Bon: THEY FIGHT CRIME. And robots. And monsters. And ponies. And more robots.

The bustling city of Metropony is under siege by Luna and her villainous assistant Trixie's army of deadly Lunatrons! Can Lyra and Bon Bon's crimefighting prowess and vast supply of heavy munitions keep the city safe for yet another week? Find out in this exciting episode of... HARPFLANK AND SWEETS. Warning: Not suitable for under-5s or those of an unawesome disposition.

- Now with added side-story, by supersheep64! - Harpflank and Sweets: The Lost Episodes
- Now with more added side-story, by RTStephens! - Haprflank and Sweets: Season 1
- Now with further more added parody, by Cold in Gardez! - Harpflank and Sweets: A Very Special Episode
- Now with extra further more added parody monstrosity, by Blueshift! - Sweetflank and Harps
- Now with extra TVTropes!
- Featured on EqD, rated 6-Star, for what it's worth!
- Exclamation marks!

Published 2012-01-20 12:59:38 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-07 23:04:36 UTC

Episode 14: A Scratch In Time

THE RETURN OF HARPFLANK AND SWEETS

by Arcainum

Opening Titles

Metropony City! Mighty skyscrapers towering over the millions of ponies going about their lives on the streets below! Working, playing or just taking in the weather, Metropony bustles as only the big city can. But! All is not well in this equine metropolis! Below the streets lies a threat - a threat to the happiness and friendship of good ponies everywhere! And the name of that threat is Luna, the exiled Princess who has returned with vengeance in her eyes! With the aid of Her villainous helper Trixie and her army of terrible Lunatrons, She will stop at nothing to destroy the pony way of life! Standing against her, however, are two heroic mares, known only to the citizens of Metropony as...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: EPISODE 14 - A SCRATCH IN TIME

Scene 1

“TRIXIE! WE WOULD ASK A SIMPLE QUESTION, IF WE MAY.”

Trixie bowed as low as she could at the foot of Luna’s throne, radiating an almost palpable fear. Her mistress was being polite. Of all the worst things that could happen, this was the worst possible thing.

“Y-yes, Oh Glorious Lady Of The Night?”

Luna’s gaze was piercing and calm. The calm that heralds storms.

“WE FIND OURSELVES PONDERING WHY IT IS THAT METROPONY CITY REMAINS A FUNCTIONING POPULATION CENTRE AND NOT, SAY, A SMOULDERING CRATER. IT WOULD APPEAR TO US, YOU UNDERSTAND, THAT YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN INFINITE RESOURCES AND AMPLE TIME. YET YOUR RESULTS DO NOT INSPIRE CONFIDENCE.”

Trixie was quaking in terror now, her well-honed sense of Luna’s moods screaming at her to just give up and run. In her heart, however, she knew it would do no good. She swallowed.

“My Lady, I have tried! You Yourself have witnessed the wonders I have wrought with these very hooves! My... Your Lunatrons stand as the mightiest army of all!”

She squeaked as Luna stamped Her hoof with a terrible fury.

“AND YET STILL THAT PATHETIC ORGANISATION STANDS! YOU ARE ROUTINELY DEFEATED, ON A WEEKLY BASIS NO LESS, BY NAUGHT BUT TWO PONIES WITH COSTUMES AND TOYS!”

Luna was blazing with the light of the moon now, Her imperial rage painful to behold.

“SO, THE WEAK AND POWERLESS TRIXIE, TELL US WHAT YOU WILL DO TO STOP US DESTROYING YOU HERE AND NOW.”

Trixie lay curled in a ball of shame and fear, wracking her mind for something, anything she could throw to the former Princess to buy some time. How did Harpflank and Sweets always win? How did they do it? All they ever had were their ludicrous costumes and those infernal gadgets! Her shaking stopped as the Trixie in her mind held up an idea, pointing furiously.

“I... I have it.”

Luna scoffed, mane still aflame with anger.

“OH? THE WHELP SPEAKS. WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO SAY FOR ITSELF?

Trixie suddenly leapt to her hooves, eyes aglow with inspiration.

“My Lady, I have it! We have been too focused on the battle and have forgotten the war! It is not Harpflank and Sweets that are our enemy, but the organisation that backs them! If we remove their supply line, their power base, their friends...”

Luna’s royal aura faded as She grasped the outline of the plan Trixie was presenting.

“THEN WE REMOVE THEIR STRENGTH. HMM. VERY WELL, LITTLE TRIXIE. YOU HAVE EARNED OUR REPRIEVE. GO NOW, AND MAKE IT SO. DO NOT RETURN IN FAILURE.”

Trixie backed away towards the towering bulkhead that protected Luna’s throne room, significantly slowed by her bowing to the ground on every alternate step.

“Yes, my Lady, Your grace is unrivalled! I shall return with news of Harpflank and Sweets’ defeat, I assure You!”

As the metal slab closed behind her, she collapsed, the adrenaline that had taken her through the conversation finally spent. Despite her exhaustion, a smile crept across her face.

“I have just the thing.”

Scene 2

The Experimental Technology lab was as busy as ever, if not more so. Lab assistants carrying files, beakers of dangerous-smelling chemicals, and, in some cases, heavy weaponry hustled along the spaces between workstations and equipment racks, each utterly engrossed in their work as the bleeding-edge of Metropony’s defense. Yet, despite their haste, none of the ponies purposefully trotting about entered the circular depression in the very centre of the lab in which was set a single workbench. This particular workstation, however, was almost twice the size of any other in the lab and covered in technology that put the rest of the room to shame. In the midst of the chaos stood the leader, co-founder, and most mechanically adept member of ExTech, Vinyl Scratch, poring over a clipboard held in place by magic.

Vinyl scratched her head in frustration and threw the clipboard to her desk, giving an exasperated sigh and sinking into her chair. She shouted over the laboratory’s din, pulling her headphones from her ears.

“Tavi! We need to talk!”

There was no response.

“Come on, Tavi, out of your box!”

There was, if possible, even less of a response. She knew Octavia could hear her, even above the noise of ExTech. She was being ignored. Grumbling under her breath, she picked up the clipboard again and crossed the lab to a large steel door covered in security measures, skirting around a pile of large crates stacked the ceiling. After performing the 13 steps necessary to open the door - among their number a tongue-scan, a voice-print, and lighting a stick of incense - she stepped into the ExTech head office. Inside sat Octavia, co-founder with Vinyl Scratch and digital genius. Vinyl levitated the clipboard over to the array of terminals at which Octavia sat and dropped it unceremoniously beside her.

“Something’s wrong with this order. We have, like, a billion crates of stuff and I have no idea what we’re supposed to do with it.”

Octavia didn’t turn to face her. Vinyl sighed.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? That whole thing with the experimental glider and the comm tower... I mean, how was I supposed to know that Lyra was going to do, well, that? You know what she’s like! She treats every training exercise like everypony at Rainbow Racetrack is betting on her.”

Octavia’s hooves continued to tap away at the keys.

“Okay, yes, I bet her she could totally do it. And she totally didn’t. It won’t happen again.”

Tap tap tap.

“Except that it probably will, and I’ll be saying this to you again in a couple of days. So, uh, sorry in advance?”

The tapping stopped. There was a silence, a silence heavy with possibility. Then Octavia’s chair swung around and a light smile flitted across her face before it was replaced by her usual impassive mask.

“The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.”

Vinyl laughed at this, her friend’s brief display of emotion a rare and pleasant enough sight to dispel the irritation she had been feeling. She lifted the clipboard once more and hovered it nearby so Octavia could read it easily.

“Take a look at this. We have almost one hundred extra crates of tech coming in, who knows where from, and it’s all unmarked. There could be anything in there, but the Commander’s slap-bang in the middle of her annual crazy-time so of course I couldn’t get an answer out of her that wasn’t ‘Sweet Celestia, the paper, please help.’”

Derpy Hooves, commander of the organisation that defended Metropony from Luna’s predations, had what many in the base considered a deeply-ingrained psychological inability to interact with paperwork. Unfortunately for her, roughly once a year it became apparent that running a vast pseudo-miltary research complex was impossible without signing a few forms and she was forced to spend upwards of a week locked in her office with nothing but a pen, a forest’s worth of unsigned paper and enough muffins to feed a small army.

Octavia scanned the list in front of her and furrowed her brow, a far more worrying sight than her usual stoicism.

“You’re right, Vinyl. This is wrong. We should-” She was cut off by an alarm sounding shrilly in both Head Office and ExTech outside.

Vinyl dropped the clipboard and made to gallop to her workstation as Octavia settled back into her chair, but the sound stopped almost immediately after it had begun. A junior researcher’s head appeared around the door and informed them that there was no problem, Lyra and Bon-Bon had luckily been in the area when the Lunatron appeared and were engaging now. Vinyl paced back to Octavia’s chair.

“Looks like we’re on standby, babe. Lyra and BB were on scene.”

“Don’t call me babe.”

Behind them lay the clipboard, forgotten for the moment in the fear of a Lunatron attack. Beyond, in the main lab, were five of the crates that had Vinyl had so worried. A barely perceptible red light began to glow, deep within the crates’ recesses. Then something began to move.

Scene 3

Lyra and Bon-Bon seperated, leaping to either side as the spiked ball swung by the 20-foot Lunatron threatened to crush them both. Glass and rubble scattered as the flail smashed through the frontage of a saucepan store, revealing three ponies - one cream, one magenta and one pink - huddled behind the counter. But the two heroes were long since out of range, circling around the robotic pony to meet behind it.

“Curses!”

Trixie’s voice boomed from the machine. The Lunatron swung again, its weaponised tail darting at the two heroes before they had a chance to dodge, or so it seemed. The cloud of dust cleared to reveal them standing on top of the ball. Lyra grinned and Bon-Bon nodded to her friend. Before the Lunatron could retract the wide chain that gave its weapon such deadly reach, Lyra and Bon-Bon were running along it.

“No! Get off! What are you doing?!” Trixie’s voice was desperate, tinged with the melancholy of inevitable defeat.

The two ponies jumped, tracing graceful arcs through the air before bringing their hind-legs forward into a synchronised flying kick that crashed into and then through the Lunatron’s neck, severing the controls from the rest of the monstrosity. The metal body sank to the ground lifeless, a slowly descending hum all that accompanied its loss of power.

Landing flawlessly, Bon-Bon turned to face the detached control unit and called out.

“Lyra! She’s not coming out!”

Lyra, who had never mastered aerodynamics to the same degree as her partner, pulled her face from its hole in the ground and shook the dust from her mane. She gave Bon-Bon a look of surprise.

“No way! You mean we might actually have caught her?!”

The duo moved carefully to the side of the Lunatron’s detached head and Bon-Bon, poised to leap away at the first sign of foul play, disengaged the pilot hatch. With a pneumatic hiss it slid open to reveal...

“Nothing? What the hay?!”

Lyra pushed past Bon-Bon and started poking around in the cockpit, but it was entirely empty. The controls necessary for a pony to pilot the machine were there but all that lay in the pilot’s seat was a broken tape recorder and an orb, roughly the size of a pony’s head, emitting a fading red light that was gone by the time Bon-Bon had picked it up for examination. Lyra kicked the hatch, her face a picture of bitter frustration.

“We were so close! We almost had her. Where could she have gone?!”

Bon-Bon was still turning the orb around in her hooves. There was something about it that made her feel strange. For the tiny moment that the red light had remained while she held it, it had felt... alive. She tapped Lyra’s shoulder as she put the orb away in her utility saddlebags.

“We should get back to base, Vinyl needs to see this.”

“But-”

“Lyra. We’ll get Trixie.” She smiled at her partner warmly, reassuring her with the confidence that had carried them through so many battles before. Lyra sighed and smiled back.

“Heh. ‘Course we will! We’re Harpflank and Sweets, right?” At that, the two turned their back on the smoking wreck and began the long walk back to base.

Scene 4

The suspicious crates stood in the centre of the lab now, a rudimentary scanner erected around them in the depression that held Vinyl’s workstation. Vinyl herself was at a desk nearby, watching with a bored expression as Octavia used a nearby terminal to program the ad hoc contraption to determine just what was in the containers. She perked up as the machine came to life, the scanner bar whirring across the length of the boxes. A picture began to form on the screen before Vinyl as the scanner did its work. Her eyes widened with dreadful realisation as the image rendered.

“Uh, Tavi, I think we have a problem...”

Even as she spoke, there was a mechanical sound from the topmost crate. Before anypony could react, the crate burst open, sides falling to the floor with a clang. Within, unfolding from its compact storage mode, stood an unmistakable metallic figure.

“Lunatron! Everybody out!”

Vinyl’s authoritative bark was drowned out by the sizzling crack of the Lunatron’s shoulder-mounted plasma rifle flaring into life, scattering the assembled ponies as they ran for cover. She ducked behind her desk and scrabbled at the bottom drawer for the weapon which every member of staff was required to keep within easy reach. She blinked as she remembered her magic and proceeded to just rip out the drawer, grabbing the gun inside in her mouth. It was at precisely this moment that she realised she couldn’t remember how to use it. Building them and firing them were two very different things.

A thump above her made her look up. Standing on the desk was the Lunatron, glowing but lifeless eyes fixed on her. She dropped the gun in surprise, noting despite her shock that this particular model had a glowing red orb set in its chest. As the sounds of more Lunatrons bursting free of their containment echoed through the lab, she looked into the barrel of the plasma rifle and saw the spark that would soon ignite a stream of energy and end her life.

Something slammed into her from the side, shoving her out of the line of fire. Gasping from the impact, Vinyl picked herself up and watched in horror as the Lunatron fired. The bright beam lanced at the grey pony, gun in mouth, who had pushed her.

“Tavi!”

Octavia fell to the ground, gritting her teeth at the beam’s impact. Before the Lunatron could warm up another shot, she emptied her pistol into the red orb. The orb shattered and the robotic pony crumpled, deprived of whatever strange technomancy propelled it. Octavia slumped with it. As her friend desperately ran to her side, she gave another rare smile and closed her eyes.

They did not re-open.

Vinyl gave a cry of anguish. Straining with all her power, she lifted Octavia’s body onto her back telekinetically before running for the door to the base, tears blurring her vision and plasma fire screaming past as the remaining Lunatrons fired volley after volley after her. Exiting the lab, the crackle of plasma and the rattle of gunfire met her ears. She choked quiet words through the tears as she ran, half to herself and half to the limp form she carried.

“Don’t worry babe, we’ll get you to the infirmary. We’ll get there. You’re going to be okay. Please be okay.”

Scene 5

Bon-Bon stuck out a hoof to prevent Lyra from rounding the corner. Lyra raised an eyebrow quizzically as her partner gestured with her head to look. Peering around the wall, Lyra stifled a gasp.

Before lay Celestia Boulevard, the organisation’s gleaming white HQ standing tall and proud at the far end of the tree-lined street. Beneath the trees were not the usual ceremonial guards but Lunatrons of a make Lyra and Bon-Bon had never seen with a glowing red orb, like that of the larger model, set in their chests. The HQ’s entranceway was covered in what looked like cables, a thick and tangled mess of electronics feeding into a large power supply nearby surrounded by white crates. Trixie stood before a twenty-strong line of the red-orbed Lunatrons standing to attention. Too far away to see exactly what she was doing, the two ponies could nevertheless hear her penetrating voice.

“Excellent! Preliminary infiltration is successful! Now, creations, we attack!”

The robotic line-up turned sharply on its heels and marched into the doorway not smothered by Trixie’s machine. Lyra pulled back into cover and whispered to Bon-Bon.

“What are we gonna do, BB? Looks like Trixie’s got HQ locked down!”

Bon-Bon frowned, thinking hard and fast.

“If HQ is compromised, then we’re probably all that’s left to fight Trixie. She probably hasn’t hurt anyone, but only so she can hold them hostage. Who knows what she’ll do if we run straight up to the door?” She bit her lip. “I think we have to retreat.”

Lyra sputtered incredulously.

“You serious? Run away? How can you say that?! If we’re all that’s left, then we’re all that can get HQ back! We gotta fight!”

A nearby Lunatron jerked into activity, raising its weapon and clanking towards them. The others lining the boulevard swiftly followed suit, Lyra’s raised voice giving away her position. Bon-Bon groaned.

“Well, I suppose that ends that discussion.” The two heroes leapt into the open, ready to fight.

Scene 6

Vinyl hammered on the door of the infirmary until her hoof ached. All around the sounds of battle shook the base as the Lunatron invasion progressed. She had carried Octavia through the base for almost fifteen minutes now, having to step out of the crossfire and avoid Lunatron patrols several times. On her way she had briefly glimpsed the entrance elevators and seen the jungle of cables protruding from one of the doors, red light pulsing from the cracks they had opened. Barely registering this, she had run on.

After what seemed an eternity, the infirmary door slid open the tiniest possible amount and an eye appeared in the crack. Taking in the panting Vinyl, Octavia slung across her like a saddlebag, the eye retreated and the door opened fully to reveal Nurse Redheart who ushered her in with hurried gestures. The door closed and audibly locked behind them.

Vinyl collapsed, the weight of her friend too much once the fear that had driven her was replaced with exhaustion. Redheart lifted Octavia with practiced care from Vinyl’s back and onto a clinic bed, beginning her examination while Vinyl finally took in the clinic’s situation. Largely untouched by the destruction raging outside, there were nevertheless several wounded guards out cold on the beds and the tinted glass was pitted in places where weapon impacts had failed to break through. Taking several deep breaths, Vinyl stood up and tottered over to where Redheart tended to her partner.

“Nurse, I... is she gonna all right? She took a plasma shot for me. Just pushed me out of the way and took it right in the chest. Please, tell me she’s gonna be all right.”

The nurse stepped back from Octavia and hesitated, unable to meet Vinyl’s gaze.

Vinyl’s shoulders slumped in terrible sadness. As the tears began to flow she stumbled the last few feet to the bed and fell to her haunches, resting her head on Octavia’s unmoving chest. Redheart stood apart, head down. Between sobs, Vinyl forced herself to speak.

“Why’d you do that, Tavi? Why’d you take that shot for me? What’s the point of keeping me alive if my best friend isn’t there to keep me company? I can’t do this without you, babe.”

As she choked the latter between teeth clenched in sorrow, her eyes shot open. Beneath her cheek, for a moment, it had felt like... Something patted her on the head.

“The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.” Vinyl’s head snapped up and she looked down at her friend. Octavia smiled that rare smile and waved at Redheart - herself wiping a single silent tear from her eye - as Vinyl’s eyes filled with tears again, this time accompanied by a wide smile of relief. Clasping her friend in a violent hug, she laughed with joy.

“Octavia! You’re okay! You’re okay!” Breaking off from the hug and holding her friend by the shoulders, she sniffed happily. “Don’t do that to me, babe!”

Octavia winced in pain but continued to smile, as glad of her own survival as anypony else in the room.

“Don’t call me babe.”

Scene 7

Lyra and Bon-Bon stood panting but defiant in the centre of the boulevard, costumes torn and ragged, surrounded by the wreckage of Lunatrons. And still more continued to appear, bursting from the ground like diamond dogs. Trixie’s laughter mocked them as they steeled themselves to fight on.

“What’s the matter, Harpflank and Sweets? Hard to fight without backup from your precious friends? I wouldn’t know, of course. You see,” she said with a menacing undertone, “The Great and Powerful Trixie has plenty of friends.”

At a wave of her hoof, yet more Lunatrons emerged from the storage crates stacked about the power hub. With cold efficiency they unfolded and marched towards the beleaguered duo. The ring of metal closed around them, weapons glowing with energy. Trixie reared in triumph.

“Welcome to your end, Harpflank and Sweets! For the Luna Empire!”

The Lunatrons took a step forward.

Scene 8

The infirmary was empty now. The unconscious stallions had awoken while Redheart was tending to Octavia and had insisted that they rejoin the fight, eager to leave their place of safety and take the fight back to the Lunatrons. The three mares had saluted them as they left. Now, Vinyl was talking animately as Octavia stretched to test her wound and Redheart bustled about the room gathering medical supplies from various cupboards..

“Okay, so I’m looking at it like this. Somehow, Luna got into our supply network and got these crates delivered to us. Each one contained a single Lunatron, so we’ve got at least one hundred robots running around the base right now.”

Octavia settled back into her bed and brought her hoof to her chin thoughtfully.

“We can assume that there is significant enemy presence topside to follow up on the confusion.”

Vinyl nodded.

“We’re just going to have to leave that to Lyra and BB for now. What I don’t understand is how these Lunatrons are acting in tandem. We’ve only ever seen one active at a time before. Unless...”

Before Redheart could object, Vinyl trotted to the door and opened it for a moment before closing and locking it again. She was grinning now, imminent danger forgotten in the joy of discovery.

“Yup, I knew it. Those red orbs like the one you shot, Tavi. They all have one and we’ve never seen them before. Those have to be some kind of core. Trixie must have found some way of miniaturising an AI, or computerising a soul, or something. But that’s far ahead of what we have, and these things still seem way too coordinated.”

They thought for a moment. Redheart continued to fill her bags, moving to a particularly large metal cupboard that took up almost half of the clinic’s back wall.

Octavia broke the silence first. “Perhaps they’re not individual AIs. Perhaps there’s a central unit tying them together.”

Vinyl considered this then nodded again.

“That would definitely explain it. Which means that central core must be somewhere around here, in the base. Even if Trixie’s gotten this far, there’s no way she could broadcast a signal like that straight through the ground from Luna’s place to here. In fact,” her eyes widened as realisation dawned, “I think I’ve seen it. Redheart, you got a map of the base in here?”

The nurse pointed without turning around, still rummaging in the depths of her depository of something-or-other. Vinyl levitated the map to herself, laying it out on one of the beds. Octavia walked over to her and followed her hoof as it moved across the map, searching.

“Here. The main elevators. When I was carrying you here,” a flash of pain crossed her face as the memory came and went, “I passed the entrance and saw... I don’t know, something weird in Shaft B. Some big hunk of tech that glowed red. I think that’s our central unit.” She sat on her haunches again, sighing. “So now all we have to do is leave our secure room, travel through almost half a mile of hostile corridor and deactivate something we didn’t even know could exist until now. Should be simple, right babe?”

Octavia waved her hoof dismissively before reflexively adding, “Don’t call me ba-”

She was interrupted by an explosion tearing at the door, flying shrapnel narrowly missing Vinyl and Octavia as they leapt to cover behind the bed. A Lunatron stood in the shattered doorway, rifle charging its next shot, scanning the room for targets. Its eyes locked on to the huddled specialists.

Without warning, the sharp rattle of an assault rifle filled the room. The Lunatron’s head was riddled with holes and its legs slid from under it, another barrage smashing its orb to fragments. Sparks flew as the last vestiges of power spent themselves futilely.

Nothing moved until, slowly, Vinyl and Octavia turned to face the back wall. The sight that greeted them caused even Octavia’s expressionless mask to drop as she stared open-mouthed.

Redheart, standing in front of what was now visible as a gun locker, cocked the assault rifle hanging from her neck with one hoof and shifted a cigar from one side of her mouth to the other. Her nurse’s cap was undone at the back and fashioned into a makeshift bandana. Weapons ranging from several pistols to what looked like the disassembled parts of an anti-material rifle were strapped wherever a weapon could conceivably be strapped.

She turned and reached up to the ventilation cover next to her weapons cabinet, undoing the latches with casual ease. As she began to climb into the shaft, she looked back at Vinyl and Octavia, both still utterly stunned by her appearance. Rolling her eyes, she spoke in a soft, beautiful voice that felt like having melted chocolate poured onto your brain.

“Are you two going to sit there all day like newborns, or are we going to destroy this whatever-it-is? Sheesh, it’s like I’m watching a pair of fillies.”

With that, she hoisted herself into the darkness and disappeared.

Scene 9

The three ponies crawled through the darkness of the ventilation shaft, making no sound save the quiet vibration of the thin metal beneath them. The shaft was wide but low, able to fit Octavia and Redheart side-by-side while Vinyl crawled behind them. As they moved, stopping occasionally so the beweaponed nurse could look through a grating and check their position, Vinyl began to talk.

“So, hey, Redheart. What’s with the silence thing? I mean, it was getting the point where I thought maybe you actually couldn’t talk, you know what I’m saying? Then boom! You’re all guns and-” She stopped as Redheart made clear in one over-the-shoulder glance exactly how well this line of questioning was going to succeed.

They continued crawling, the sounds of battle growing more distant as they neared the entrance elevators and the Lunatron invasion’s rearguard. Vinyl’s voice echoed again.

“But seriously, where did you learn all this stuff? Nursing school? Next time I go to Metropony Hospital, should I be looking out for ninja doctors?”

Her persistence was rewarded with a hoof in the face as Redheart stopped at a floor grille suddenly. She motioned Vinyl and Octavia to look down, bringing her hoof to her lips for silence.

They were directly above the main corridor now. Judging from the rooms Vinyl could see from their vantage point, they were at least one hundred feet from the elevator with almost twenty Lunatrons patrolling between them and their destination. She looked back up as Redheart passed weapons around and outlined the plan through a combination of mime and, as Vinyl’s questions grew increasingly irrelevant, casual violence.

For a brief moment, the three ponies were silent. They took a deep simultaneous breath and let it out slowly. And then, having made their peace, they kicked downwards.

The Lunatron directly beneath the ceiling grille was crushed as Vinyl and Octavia landed, rolling into opposite doorways for cover while the wreckage jerked and spat sparks. They fired wildly down the corridor at the Lunatrons now converging on their position, Octavia’s pistol providing a light counterpoint to the roar of Vinyl’s shotgun. Redheart dropped down after them and swiftly began assembling the huge rifle Vinyl had noticed earlier, unflinching as searing plasma singed her mane every time the deadly-accurate Lunatrons fired.

A few seconds later, Redheart was lying across the grille with her weapon ready, eye on the scope and scope on the target. The elevator’s doors were fully open now, the central AI core’s cables snaking across the walls like steel ivy. Within the twisted ball of segmented metal was the core. This orb was larger than those that powered the Lunatrons, almost the size of a pony, and its glow was a sickly and malevolent crimson.

Vinyl and Octavia’s cover fire was, though unskilled, keeping the Lunatrons at bay and Redheart settled into the sniper’s calm, readying the shot. She breathed out and squeezed the trigger just as a blast of plasma knocked the rifle out of her hooves, the bullet flying wild and sinking deep into a wall. She turned to grab the rifle and line up another shot, but recoiled as she realised the barrel had melted in the heat of the Lunatron’s energy projectiles. Vinyl saw this and began to visibly panic, still firing.

“What do we do now?! There’s no way we can hit that thing from here!” Redheart threw her forehooves in the air as to question how she was supposed to know. Octavia, however, dropped her pistol and moved to Redheart’s side. Without saying a word, she grabbed a fusion grenade from the nurse’s harness and began to gallop straight at the massed Lunatrons. Both Redheart and Vinyl sensed her intent at the same time and followed, firing as they ran.

The heat was indescribable, the plasma rifle’s shots cooking the very air they travelled through. The three ponies dodged, ducked, dipped and dove through the fusillade, reaching the sixty feet mark before the Lunatrons could react and adjust their firing lines.

They ran on, the distance passing in seconds. Vinyl’s ammunition ran out and she began hurling the wreckage of destroyed Lunatrons forward with magic, smashing several more into scraps. Redheart was a whirlwind of destruction, seemingly firing more guns than she had limbs to fire them with at the robotic wall before them and the Lunatrons they passed. Octavia’s face was implacable as she galloped onwards, eyes never leaving the red orb that seemed to stare back with an empty, soulless hatred.

At twenty feet, everything went wrong.

Octavia’s hooves tangled in the cabling that coated the walls and floor and she stumbled, the grenade flying out of her mouth secure and unprimed. Vinyl caught it with her magic, and continued to run. Redheart had fallen behind, the weight of her many weapons slowing her down, and was now covering Octavia as she pulled herself up and looked after Vinyl in horror.

At the ten foot mark, Vinyl pulled the pin. A blast of plasma cut a line of fire across her side and she gasped in pain, her magic dissipating for one small but all-too-important second and sending the grenade spiralling through air. The world seemed to slow, time moving at a crawl. Vinyl saw the wall of Lunatrons blocking the corridor, heard Octavia screaming at her to just get back to safety, felt her coat burning where the energy bolt had clipped her, but ignored them all.
She could see what she had to do. She had five seconds before detonation.

One. She jumped. Moments before she crashed into the line of mechanical warriors, she launched herself over them.

Two. Coasting almost lazily through the air, she caught the grenade in her mouth.

Three. She landed, rolling with the impact.

Four. She reached the door. Coming out of the roll on all fours, she threw the grenade at the central unit with such force that it was embedded in the orb. In the same movement she slammed the emergency blast-door release with one hoof. A sheet of metal strong enough to withstand Celestia Herself scythed through the hissing cabling and encased the AI core.

Five.

Scene 10

“Now! Finish them!”

The Lunatron reared above the fallen Bon-Bon at Trixie’s command, bladed hooves poised to strike. In her peripheral vision she could see Lyra bucking a Lunatron in half before being smothered by electrified nets fired by several others, pinning her to the ground beneath their buzzing threads. She closed her eyes in despair. They had lost. HQ was taken, Trixie had won, and now the only thing there was to do, it seemed, was die.

But death never came. The sound of an explosion rocked the boulevard, making Bon-Bon look up in surprise. A pillar of flame erupted from the blocked door, a horizontal volcano vaporising the twisting blockade of cables. Every Lunatron simultaneously shut down, the red glow from their midriffs fading as they collapsed. Trixie stood where she had been gloating not moments before, stuttering in confusion.

“But, but, you’re up here! How can the core be destroyed when you’re up here?!” Her confusion turned to rage as the failure of her plan finally registered fully. “I had you! I had you! Curse you, Harpflank and Sweets! Curse you to the moon! Rest assured, lucky heroes, The Great and Powerful Trixie will return!”

Lyra, wriggling free of the clinging wire, leapt at Trixie but was too late. Before she came close, Trixie had thrown a glass ball to the ground and been consumed in sparkling smoke, disappearing in a flash of fireworks. Lyra spat ash from her mouth in annoyance.

“Tch, she got away again. Just like every week.”

Bon-Bon shook herself and ran to the HQ’s doors, the doorway’s edges glowing white-hot, and called back.

“We need to get below, find out what’s happening. I think Shaft A is still working.”

Lyra followed, kicking a few fallen Lunatrons as she passed. They entered the elevator and steeled themselves for more combat as they sped downwards. Finally, the room came to a halt and the doors slid open. They leapt out, ready to fight, and then stopped and stared.

Twenty or more deactivated Lunatrons lay before them. The corridor around them was scorched black and the smoking remains of Shaft B’s blast doors splayed out as if some great animal had smashed them from within. Beyond the devastation Nurse Redheart and Octavia tended to a soot-blackened and lightly bleeding Vinyl Scratch, who noticed them and gave a small wave, smiling as if they had just walked in on a casual lunch rather than the smouldering remains of a battlefield.

“Guys! You missed the party! It was totally wild.”

Before Lyra or Bon-Bon could process this and reply, the Commander’s door at the far end of the corridor opened. Derpy Hooves trotted out, beaming.

“Attention, my little ponies, the paperwork is all finished! You may all return to your duties, safe in the knowledge th-”

She stopped short and her eyes focused, taking in the blackened wreckage, scattered weapons and wounded Vinyl. A door fell over with a clang. The commander opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. Finally, she managed to talk.

“So... busy day?”

Scene 11

Trixie took a deep breath, trying to let it out slowly but shuddering as she contemplated what was to come. She had failed. Her greatest plan yet, and she had failed. Luna’s wrath would be unimaginable, and Her ultimatum rang in Trixie’s mind.

DO NOT RETURN IN FAILURE.

She took one last quivering breath and opened the vault door. As her mistress came into view, Trixie cowered and crawled into the throne room, unable to bring herself to look up. Luna’s voice rang out, almost knocking Trixie back with its force.

“TRIXIE! MOST FAVOURED SERVANT! HOW GOES THE FIGHT AGAINST THE WRETCHED HARPFLANK AND SWEETS?”

Trixie blinked. This wasn’t right. Luna should be furious, screaming with rage and blasting her to smithereens. She cautioned a glance up at the throne.

Luna was reclining in all Her splendour, an unreadable expression on her face as She dismissed a quaking henchpony who had been showing Her something on a datapad. She motioned for Trixie to stand, who did so with no small amount of trepidation.

“COME, BRING ME NEWS OF YOUR MACHINATIONS. HAS THE ORGANISATION BEEN DESTROYED FROM WITHIN?”

Trixie began to cringe again, and forced out the words that she felt sure would doom her.

“There was a, uh, a minor setback, my Lady. The base’s defenders proved more... capable than I suspected and-” Luna cut her off with a dismissive wave of her hoof.

“NO MATTER. THE GAME HAS CHANGED.” She beckoned Trixie to her side. “COME, TRIXIE. WE HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU. SOMETHING THAT WILL BECOME THE KEY TO OUR VICTORY, A VICTORY THAT HARPFLANK AND SWEETS AND THEIR PITIFUL ORGANISATION WILL BE POWERLESS TO PREVENT.”

As Trixie trotted up the steps of her throne, Luna’s expression changed to a smile, dark and terrible.

“AND YOU, LITTLE TRIXIE, WILL BE THE ONE TO BUILD IT.”

[ Credits roll.

NEXT WEEK ON HARPFLANK AND SWEETS:

“I call them ‘hands!’”
“There’s something underground!”
“You can’t win, Harpflank and Sweets!”
“Bon-Bon, help me!”
“CELESTIA, I WILL PROVE MY STRENGTH TO YOU!”

TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF... HARPFLANK AND SWEETS ]

Epilogue

Vinyl rubbed her side, the plasma burn still smarting despite Redheart’s ministrations. The image of galloping through a hail of burning death briefly consumed her, but she pushed it out of her mind. Plenty of time for nightmares later. She took advantage of the pause in her work to look around the ExTech lab.

The rebuild was going well. Clean-up were doing their jobs admirably, and the walls were already repaired of all damage. Overall-wearing ponies were rolling lifeless Lunatrons through the main door and righting desks as she watched. Those members of her division that hadn’t been wounded in the attack were aiding the workponies, gathering and sorting the piles of technology that had been scattered in the attack. Octavia was elsewhere, Redheart having insisted on her getting at least several days’ bed rest to alleviate the effects of charging into a firefight not an hour after nearly dying. Pleased with the activity and teamwork on display, Vinyl turned back to her work.

On her desk lay an intact Lunatron core orb, a dull translucent black without the red light from within. She thought about how the Lunatrons had moved in perfect unison, efficient and deadly in their shared senses and purpose. The seed of an idea began to grow in her mind and had soon blossomed into a sea of red and blue flowers, all waving as one.

Coming soon: Episode 19 - Under Siege Under The Sea!

Episode 36: A Night At The Fair

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: TRIPLE TROUBLE

by Arcainum

Opening Titles

Metropony City! Mighty skyscrapers towering over the millions of ponies going about their lives on the streets below! Working, playing or just taking in the weather, Metropony bustles as only the big city can. But! All is not well in this equine metropolis! Below the streets lies a threat - a threat to the happiness and friendship of good ponies everywhere! And the name of that threat is Luna, the exiled Princess who has returned with vengeance in her eyes! With the aid of Her villainous helper Trixie and her army of terrible Lunatrons, She will stop at nothing to destroy the pony way of life! Standing against her, however, are two heroic mares, known only to the citizens of Metropony as...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: EPISODE 36 - A NIGHT AT THE FAIR

Scene 1

Trixie stood beside Luna’s throne, glowering at the shadowed ponies addressing her mistress. She did not trust these two and was not afraid to show it. Luna, it seemed, had no such qualms.

“AND HOW DO YOU PROPOSE TO, AS YOU SAY, ‘DEAL WITH OUR HARPFLANK AND SWEETS PROBLEM,’ WHEN YOU REFUSE TO EVEN SHOW YOUR FACE BEFORE US?”

One of the ponies gestured extravagantly.

“Well, You see, Ma’am, we see an opportunity in this community. Don’t we, brother of mine?”

The other figure nodded and continued, wildly gesticulating as he spoke.

“Indeed we do! An opportunity for magical and mechanical mayhem of a most magnificent magnitude!”

“So for nothing more than a mere, a paltry, a trifling seventyfivetotwentyfive stake in Your Empire, we can rid You of Your pesky Harpflank and Sweets before the week is out!”

“And You won’t even have to lift a hoof Yourself!”

The two ponies spoke rapidly and alternately, firing their words like a machine gun at a speed that barely allowed for thought, let alone a response. Luna managed to interject, Her Royal Voice too much even for the fast-talking ponies before her.

“WORDS DO NOT IMPRESS US. WE REQUIRE A DEMONSTRATION.”

The two threw a hoof to their foreheads as if lamenting that they ever could have considered otherwise.

“And why not, Your Majesty? So many crooks around in this big ol’ world, You never know who to trust!”

“So we brought a little something down for You, Your Majesty! A little taste of what we’ll be feeding Your troublemakers!”

“Figuratively speaking, of course!”

“Feast Your imperial eyes... on this!”

The first pony pulled a small device from a pocket of his waistcoat and pressed a few buttons. A cacophany of clanking, whirring and hissing erupted from the shadows behind them, growing louder as the source came rolling into the light. Luna’s eyes widened in surprise just as Trixie’s narrowed in suspicion.

“THAT IS IMPRESSIVE. VERY WELL! CONSIDER YOURSELF HIRED. TAKE ALL THE FUNDS YOU NEED. BUT KNOW THAT THE FACT YOU ARE BUT MERCENARIES SHALL NOT SAVE YOU SHOULD YOU FAIL.”

The figures bowed theatrically.

“Thank You very much, Your Majesty, You can rest assured that You will not regret this!”

“So why don’t You go ahead and take a day off? Because we guarantee that come tomorrow, Harpflank and Sweets will not be on Your list of problems!”

With a final flourish, they and their contraption disappeared into the shadows to be escorted to the surface. As soon as they were gone, Trixie ran to Luna’s side.

“My Lady! We cannot trust these ponies! They are clearly charlatans of the highest order!”

Luna looked down Her nose at Her indignant servant with wry disdain.

“INDEED. THE IRONY IS PALPABLE.”

Trixie stepped back, face burning with shame. Sometimes her mistress’ words could cut like a knife.

“I... I merely wished to protect you, my Lady, I...”

Luna’s face softened.

“AND ADMIRABLE YOU ARE FOR IT. YOU HAVE WORKED TIRELESSLY FOR OUR CAUSE DESPITE YOUR FAILURES. GO. YOU ARE RELIEVED OF YOUR DUTIES FOR TODAY. SPEND YOUR TIME ON YOURSELF, NOT THE EMPIRE.”

Trixie looked up at Luna, torn between happiness at the Princess’ unexpected kindness and disappointment at being sent away.

“You... You are kind, my Lady. I shall return tomorrow.”

With that, Trixie slunk away. As the enormous bulkhead swung closed, Luna sat still for a while, gazing into the distance thoughtfully. Something the ponies had said was stuck in her mind.

“A DAY OFF...”

Scene 2

The door to Derpy Hooves’ office opened with its usual quiet hiss. The room was, as ever, strewn with muffins and discarded paperwork. Derpy saluted from her chair as Lyra and Bon-Bon entered, and the two returned it, Lyra’s nonchalant wave of a hoof offsetting Bon-Bon’s crisp precision.

“You wanted to see us, sir?”

Derpy put her forehooves together, making what she referred to as her “official face.”

“You may be aware that there has been no activity from the Empire for the past six days.”

Lyra settled into a visitor’s chair and began to spin it.

“Yeah, it’s pretty weird. That’s almost a week. And we fight Trixie every week.”

Derpy nodded.

“Exactly. Which is why we’ve decided to give you the day off.”

Lyra stopped spinning and stood up as Bon-Bon quizzed their superior.

“I’m sorry, Commander? You’re giving us the day off? But what if Trixie attacks? You said it yourself, we haven’t heard from her in six days. If she is going to attack, it’s going to be today.”

Derpy stood up and began to pace around her desk.

“Unlikely. You see, Octavia’s been working her magic. Not her actual magic of course. She’s an earth pony, as well you know. She doesn’t have any magic. So, if she was working actual magic, that would be pretty...”

She trailed off as the looks Lyra and Bon-Bon were giving her finally penetrated whatever cloud her mind occasionally visited.

“Ahem. Octavia has been doing her job and has calculated that if our knowledge of Luna’s operations is correct, her supplies should currently be in crisis. Almost all of her work is done through Trixie and, due to the increasing magnitude of the recent Lunatron invasions, Octavia estimates that Trixie should be so low on materials that this may be the one week we don’t see her rampaging through our beloved city.”

She came to a halt before her subordinates, snapping to attention with a smile.

“Which is why we’re giving you the day off. I have something for you.”

She walked back around her desk and pointed to two slips of brightly-coloured paper that lay atop the thick strata of unsigned forms. Examining one, Lyra gasped.

“Whoa! These are tickets to that new amusement park! It’s meant to be a-mazing, even better than Pinkie’s Funhouse, and they built it in less than a week! BB, we have to go. The waiting list is, like, the length of the city!”

Bon-Bon’s face was uneven, clearly unable to decide between her sense of duty and the promise of what looked like a great day out.

“But... If Trixie attacks...”

As she spoke, Derpy looked uncomfortable.

“Well, I haven’t been entirely honest with you. You see, if you think about it, were Trixie to attack today...”

Lyra finished her sentence for her dryly.

“Then she’d most likely attack there. Classy, Commander.”

The commander had the decency to look embarassed. Bon-Bon, however, had begun to smile.

“Well then, that’s good enough for me. If we were on duty, we’d only be patrolling the fair anyway. Why not make a day of it? Thank you Commander.”

Lyra smiled at her partner, amused at but understanding of her need for an excuse just to go out and have some fun. The two saluted Derpy once more and left the room. On their way to the main elevators, Bon-Bon realised she’d missed something.

“So, Lyra, what’s this place called?”

Lyra thought for a moment.

“I think it’s called Flim Flam Funland.”

Scene 3

~:~ The handsome stallion is unable to look the mare before him in the eye. The sunset frames her like a halo, and he can’t bring himself to do what he knows he has to do, not when she looks so beautiful. She cries his name, her velvet voice carrying far in the still air across the bay.

“Shining Star! Don’t go! You can’t go! I need you!”

He hangs his head, despair gripping him as he forces out the words that he knows will end the happy life he has known these all-too-few months.

“Sweetfire, I’m not who you think I am. I’ve done... bad things. Terrible things. Things I can never forgive. I can’t be the stallion you want me to be. I’m...I’m no shining star.”

He turns, ready to leave everything he has ever loved behind him, to face the music and atone for his sins. Sweetfire calls to him, calls to him with words that both chill him to the bone and fill his heart with joy.

“The baby! It’s not Stormy Sky’s! It’s...It’s yours, Shining Star! The baby is yours!” ~:~

Luna spluttered with surprise, spraying her drink across the room and spattering the throne room’s communications screen with still-warm tea.

“THIS CANNOT BE! IF THE BABY IS SHINING STAR’S, THEN HER UNFORTUNATE RELATIONSHIP WITH STORMY SKY HAS BEEN MEANINGLESS!”

She was interrupted by Trixie’s sub-henchponies, Snips and Snails. Snails shuffled forward, gangling frame quaking with fear.

“Uh, your Royal Highness Majestyship? The food you ordered has arrived.”

Luna pulled her gaze from the screen, which was now advertising an amazing new method of manecare for only ten bits a bottle, and gestured imperiously.

“YES, YES, WONDERFUL. BRING IT IN, THEN LEAVE US. WE MUST PONDER THIS LATEST FASCINATING DEVELOPMENT.”

She took another sip of tea, and settled deeper into her chair.

Scene 4

“Wow. This is cool.”

Lyra and Bon-Bon passed through the gates to Flim Flam Funland, heads darting all around to take in the whole scene. The main plaza teemed with ponies of all ages, paths leading in every direction to swooping coasters, creaking haunted houses and sizzling food stands. Here, a family heading for the biggest coaster, colt bouncing excitedly around as his parents smile. There, three ponies - one cream, one magenta and one pink - arguing over a map, trying to best plan their day. Fluffy mascots ambled around, giving foals hugs and taking pictures when asked. The park felt alive and Bon-Bon found it very difficult to stop herself from smiling as much as Lyra. Her friend was beaming like a filly as she ran ahead, taking in the sights and sounds of the fair.

“Oh, oh, oh, we have to go on that, look how tall it is! Oh, and that! That too! What is that thing? BB, seriously, I need a map right now!”

Bon-Bon laughed at her friend’s boisterousness. It felt good to be off-duty, even if for just one day, though it seemed like chaperoning Lyra was going to be job enough in itself.

“Let’s go to the information booth, I’m sure they have... Lyra?”

Lyra had stopped, a look of absolute surprise on her face. Bon-Bon, puzzled, hurried over.

“What’s the matter, Lyra?”

Her friend, very carefully - as if not wanting to universe to catch on to her saying it - said, “Bon-Bon. Trixie is right over there.”

Bon-Bon froze. Trixie? Here? But there had been no alarm, no call from headquarters, no Lunatron attack.

“What are you talking about? There’s no way Trixie would be just standing around in an amu-”

Lyra grabbed her head and turned her to face a small circle that had opened in the crowd by chance, revealing an all-too-familiar blue unicorn. Though not wearing her usual starred cape and hat, it was unmistakably Trixie. She was just standing there, foreleg raised as if to start walking, but an uncertain look on her face as she took in the heaving crowds around her.

The two ponies quickly huddled and whispered furiously to each other.

“What the hay is Trixie doing here? And why is no one, I don’t know, running and screaming?!”

“We’re probably the only ponies who’ve ever seen her being... well, Trixie. The only times we’ve ever seen her out of a Lunatron she’s been out of the public eye.”

“Okay, great, that’s very clever and all but what are we going to do?”

Bon-Bon glanced back at the worried-looking Trixie.

“I... I don’t think we should do anything.”

“What?”

“Okay, not nothing. But I don’t think she’s here on business. I think she’s here for the same reason we are.”

Lyra snorted.

“Oh, The Great and Powerful Trixie is out for a day at the fair. Sure.”

“I’m serious! Look at her! She looks so... alone.”

Bon-Bon bit her lip, as she tended to do when thinking hard, weighing the situation.

“I think... we should go over and introduce ourselves. She doesn’t know what we look like under the suits, and if we can get her to spend the day with us, we can keep an eye on her and hopefully lock down any plan she has prepared.”

Lyra looked at Bon-Bon as if she had just suggested that taking a bath in a volcano sounded like a nice way to cool down. But she relented, trusting her friend’s judgement. Bon-Bon had never had a bad plan yet.

“You do realise that I’m the one who’s meant to come up with the plans that make no sense, right?”

Separating, they looked round to check Trixie was still there. She was standing in the same place, looking so lost that even Lyra felt a pang of sympathy.

“I still can’t believe we’re going to do this.”

Bon-Bon took the lead, trotting up to Trixie with a bright smile on her face and holding out a hoof.

“Hi! You look a little lost, can we help you?”

Trixie jumped, looking around in panic until she noticed Bon-Bon and eyeing the extended hoof. Something clicked in her brain and she seemed to recover from her stupor. Grasping Bon-Bon’s hoof and shaking it thankfully, she returned the greeting.

“Oh, hello. I confess to being somewhat overwhelmed by the quantity of ponies here. I came here by myself and I am unused...” She shook herself. “Excuse me. My name is Trixie. No relation.”

Lyra rolled her eyes, Bon-Bon kicking her surreptitiously before Trixie could notice.

“Nice to meet you, Trixie. I’m Bon-Bon, and this is Lyra. You said you came alone? Perhaps you’d like to spend some time with us?”

Lyra piped up, still rubbing her leg in pain.

“Yeah, it’s no fun at the fair by yourself. Come hang with us!”

A number of emotions ran across Trixie’s face in quick succession, ranging from surprise to happiness, thoughtfulness to suspicion, and finally settling on an awkward smile.

“I... believe I would like that. Very well, I shall accompany you. Thank you for your kind offer.”

As Bon-Bon beckoned Trixie follow them and the three ponies headed towards the information booth, Lyra sidled close to her and quickly whispered in her ear before breaking away.

“Just remember, this was your idea.”

Scene 5

The day passed. Sun high in the sky, the three ponies walked every inch of the amusement park’s grounds. They screamed with joy as they shot up, down and around the coasters’ tracks. They gasped in fear as the scares in the haunted house proved too much for the delicate constitutions of two superheroes and a pony who had survived being hit with a cello the size of a building. They laughed with delight as the sideshows plied their trade, drawing them into games and mini-plays and lotteries. And through it all, Lyra and Bon-Bon watched Trixie, never seeing anything more than a pony at the fair, gleefully pulling them to the next attraction and trying to impress them with funny little magic tricks, smiling all the way.

The sun was low now, and twilight neared. The park was open late, and a fireworks display was scheduled to herald the coming of night. Lyra and Bon-Bon sat on a bench in the main plaza, space between them for Trixie, who had insisted on buying the three of them ciders and could be seen in line across the square. Lyra turned to face Bon-Bon, conflicting emotions dancing on her face.

“BB, I seriously don’t think I can do this for much longer. She’s so... happy. I feel like she’s just a normal pony, I feel like she’s a friend, and then... And then I remember everything she’s done. And I don’t know what to do.”

Bon-Bon nodded solemnly. Throughout the day, Trixie had consistently shown herself to be an intelligent and fun-loving pony, with no greater flaw than an amusing sense of self-worth, a flair for the theatrical and a tendency towards the third person. It was unsettling that this same pony was only last week threatening to kidnap the Mayor.

“I’m starting to think that we may have misjudged Trixie from the start, Lyra. Who knows what it’s like under Luna’s rule? For all we know, she does those terrible things out of fear. I just can’t reconcile the pony we’ve seen today with the Trixie we battle every week.”

The two looked back to Trixie, who was thanking the stand’s proprietor with a smile and walking back towards them, tottering as she dealt with the logistical problem of carrying three mugs.

“We gotta tell her, BB. I can’t go home tonight knowing I’ve let that pony go back to being the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

Before Bon-Bon could reply, Trixie had returned, balancing on her back legs with a mug on each forehoof and one on her head.

“Tada! Is Trixie’s skill not astounding?”

Lyra and Bon-Bon laughed, easing some of the tension from their discussion, and took their ciders. Trixie sat down between them.

For a while, they just sat quietly. The sun continued to set and the crowd of ponies thinned as they returned to their homes or hurried to the square where the fireworks were being held. Sipping their drinks, Lyra, Trixie and Bon-Bon sat and watched the night fall.

The fireworks began slowly, one or two rockets whistling upwards before flaring briefly and falling back to the earth. The display quickly intensified, the snap, crackle and pop of the distant explosions drowning the cheers of the crowd and the mechanical sounds of the rest of the park shutting down. The varicoloured light danced across them, an artificial aurora in miniature. Staring into her mug, Trixie spoke so quietly as to be barely audible over the joyful crowds, her voice trembling slightly.

“I would like to thank the both of you. For today. I had a great deal of fun.”

Trixie’s voice dropped again, almost a whisper, talking mainly to herself now. Her words seemed to come from deep within, creeping from her heart to her mouth as if she dared not speak them.

“I think... I think I had forgotten what it felt like.”

Lyra and Bon-Bon exchanged a glance as the fireworks died down and the crowd shuffled past them, yawning and comparing favourite moments from the display. Their minds were made up. Bon-Bon turned to look Trixie in the eye.

“Trixie. I... we have something to tell you.”

Trixie shook herself from her reverie, and looked up questioningly. Bon-Bon swallowed and soldiered on.

“We haven’t been entirely honest with you. But... today you’ve shown us that you’re as good a pony as any we’ve ever met, and we just can’t lie anymore.”

She took a deep breath, meeting Lyra’s gaze one more time before she took the plunge. Lyra nodded. They were alone in the plaza now.

“Trixie, we are Har-”

She was interrupted by spotlights suddenly shining in their faces, causing them to recoil and shield their eyes. Through the glare, they could just about make out the silhouette of a large vehicle carrying the piercing lights, upon which stood two tall, lanky ponies. Striking a pose, the ponies’ voices boomed across the plaza.

“Well, brother of mine, looks like we’ve reined them in!”

“And now the crowds are out of the way, the show can begin!”

Scene 6

~:~ The doctor paces about the cold white hospital room, trying to form the words that he has said a thousand times before. It never gets any easier. At last the sentence aligns itself in his mind. He pauses for a moment, drinking in the brief period of time before he has to see the patient’s reaction to what he’s about to say.

“I’m...I’m sorry Mr. Sky, but... it’s the Cutie Pox.”

The news hits Stormy Sky like a lead ball in his gut, taking the wind out of him. He knew that it was bad, but this... He pulls himself together, bringing the strength his father taught him to the fore. He meets the doctor’s gaze, eyes blazing with the courage to face whatever may come. There is only one question he can ask, a question the doctor is ready for. It’s the same question every time.

“Tell me, Doc... will I make it?”

The doctor sighs. Just like the question, his answer is always the same.

“I’m not sure. All I know is, your life is going to be pretty busy from now on.” ~:~

Luna stared at the screen, rapt, pizza halfway to her mouth and dripping cheese on her throne.

Scene 7

Lyra spoke first, shouting into the light over the racket of the machine the two shadows stood upon.

“Come out and show yourselves! Who are you?”

The lights dimmed to a bearable level and the two became visible. They were both unicorns, wearing dapper waistcoats and boaters. They bowed, pointing to each other and speaking in turn.

“He’s Flim,”

“He’s Flam,”

Then, together, “And we’re the world-famous Flim Flam Brothers! Travelling villains nonpareil!”

Lyra muttered to herself.

“Nonpa-what?”

Trixie stood, incandescent with rage, her horn glowing with magic as she gathered her energy.

“Traitorous tricksters! What is the meaning of this?”

Flim shook his hoof at her patronisingly.

“Now now, young filly, that’s no way to speak to your elders.”

“Or your superiors, for that matter!”

Trixie fumed at the snub.

“Just because you may have Lady Luna’s favour for now, does not mean that I am diminished any in Her eyes!”

The Flim Flams sat back into the chair built into the strange vehicle’s roof.

“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong, dear Trixie! You see, once we’ve removed Harpflank and Sweets from the picture-”

“And your delightful self, of course!”

“There is nothing Luna won’t give us! No more picnics in the gutter for us! Isn’t that right, Flim?”

“Right it is, Flam! Our futures shall be most certainly assured!”

Bon-Bon carefully reached into her bag and activated her emergency communicator. She narrowed her eyes as she was met with nothing but static. She whispered to Lyra as Trixie’s shouting match with the Flim Flams continued.

“Our communications are being jammed.”

Lyra’s response was immediate.

“We gotta get out of here. Leave Trixie and those two to do whatever it is they’re doing.”

Bon-Bon stared at her friend.

“After everything we just talked about? You’re seriously conside-”

Trixie suddenly grabbed them both and the glow of her magic engulfed the three ponies.

“Do not worry, Trixie shall protect you both!”

With a puff of smoke and spirals, they were gone.

Flim and Flam shrugged at each other and flicked a switch on their machine. From the shadows came the gleam of crimson eyes, glinting from their owners’ claws.

Scene 8

The trio reappeared in a dark section of the park, low-slung buildings surrounding them. Lyra and Bon-Bon stumbled from the disorientation of the sudden teleport, and Trixie slumped to the ground panting.

“No... problem... for the Great... and Powerful... Trixie...”

Shaking the cotton-wool feeling from her head, Bon-Bon checked their surroundings and realised they were in the area of the park devoted to boat rides. Before she could think any further, eerie laughter began to rattle in the air around them. As she and Lyra crouched into defensive stances, the distorted laughter grew louder, the echoes in the empty park playing off each other and seeming to come from everywhere at once. Lyra hoisted Trixie up and nudged her with her head.

“Trixie, we gotta move. I don’t know what that laughing is, but I sure don’t like it!”

Trixie pulled herself together and quickly took stock. Beckoning Lyra and Bon-Bon to follow her, she ran towards a ride that seemed larger than the rest, calling back as they followed at speed.

“We are too exposed, we must seek shelter!”

The three ponies scurried into the building, leaping the turnstiles and vanishing into the gloom.

The interior was pitch black until Lyra found the main fuses, the lights flicking on one by one to reveal a garish rainbow sign above the artifical river: “It’s A Small Equestria.” The strains of a maddeningly upbeat song could be heard further into the tunnel the ride followed. Lyra grimaced.

“I hate this song.”

They moved further in, not speaking. Their silence was both functional and awkward, stealthy and unpleasant. So far as Trixie was aware, she had just spent a day at the fair with two kind ponies whom she had now dragged into her own dangerous mess, and Lyra and Bon-Bon were faced with the challenge of dealing with the situation without revealing their full capabilities. The only sound was the endlessly looping song, setting their teeth on edge as every drumbeat was mistaken for a hoofstep and every laughing foal set them scanning the shadows for their pursuers. The setting was not helping.

The tunnel was lined with dioramas of wide-eyed and wide-smiled plastic ponies, swaying endlessly in time to the music in stylised representations of the many kingdoms of the world. Griffons and pegasi swooped through the plasterboard skies and sea ponies danced in the painted oceans. Zebras gambolled across their rolling savannas. The whole thing was at once a heartwarming display of multi-species togetherness and thoroughly disturbing.

It happened without warning, the model Canterlot shattering into chunks of wood and metal as a green shape leapt through it to land between Lyra and her friends. Swiping its tail, it sent Lyra flying across the tunnel before she could dodge. She landed in the water back the way they had come with a violent splash and cry of pain. The shape, now revealed to be the dragon mascot they had seen playing with young ponies earlier in the day, roared. There was a crackling electronic edge to the sound. Bon-Bon went to attack the dragon but Lyra waved her away, spitting water and shouting over her assailant.

“Trixie, BB, go! I’ve got this!.” As Bon-Bon hesitated, she realised that other figures were clambering through the hole the dragon had left in the display, eyes gleaming red in the dim light. She turned, throwing one last glance back at Lyra squaring up to her attacker, then ran with Trixie deeper into the ride. The cuddly killers followed, laughing in time with the song.

Scene 9

The mascots were running Bon-Bon and Trixie down. They had managed to evade the animatronic horrors for almost ten minutes, even destroying most of them with a combination of Bon-Bon’s ability to plan on the fly, Trixie’s versatility with magic, and the well-timed collapse of a lighting array. But still they were hunted, and the pair were tiring. The endless laughter and the voices of the ever-present song washed over them as the shadows closed in and flickered with red. They had not heard from nor seen Lyra since their separation.

Trixie collapsed, her legs giving way as the extended physical and magical exertion took its toll. Bon-Bon slid to a halt, spraying water across a glass case containing a collection of formal wear for various species. Trixie slumped against the river’s edge, gasping for breath.

“I cannot... go on... just leave me.... Said I would... keep you safe...”

Bon-Bon again felt a stab of sympathy for the pony before her, so different from the Great and Powerful Trixie that she considered her enemy. She couldn’t imagine what terrible circumstances led Trixie to commit the acts she did but she had a new-found determination to find out and, if possible, end them. She nodded to herself, mind made up.

“No, Trixie. I’m going to keep you safe.”

Striding purposefully to the fallen Trixie, Bon-Bon stood resolutely between her and the oncoming fiends. They emerged from the shadows, moving in for the kill. In the light, they were almost comical. The remaining mascots were all from the haunted house; a zombie, a mummy and a vampire stalked towards them. But the bright colours of their dress and friendly expressions merely made the shining claws and baleful eyes stand out all the more. The chase through the crowded space had damaged their exteriors, exposing their robotic innards. Still chuckling happily as though playing with pony children, they took a step towards Bon-Bon. She braced herself, ready to protect Trixie to the end.

“Hey! Uglies! You might want to step away from my friends!””

The poised mascots whirled around, focusing their deadly attention on the voice that rang out above the music. Stepping in to the light was Lyra. Standing on her back legs, she was supported by a strange contraption the size of herself. A bellows-like apparatus with four stubby protrusions, a winding nozzle extended from its top to be pointed with both Lyra’s forehooves at the cackling monstrosities. With mounting elation, Bon-Bon realised that it was the inner workings of the dragon-mascot that her partner had stayed behind to fight. Her relief at her friend’s survival was replaced with panic as she realised what Lyra was about to do. Taking a deep breath, she lay as flat as could, throwing her entire body into the cold water. Beside her, Trixie did the same, drawing her ragged breathing into one desperate gasp before following Bon-Bon into the questionable protection of the artificial stream.

Lyra’s horn began to glow as she steadied her aim and braced herself with magic. One hoof moved from the nozzle and hovered over a switch on her trophy’s spine marked “Emergency Gas Release.” She grinned, the beam of light she just-so-happened to be standing in for her dramatic entrance glinting from her teeth in a way that could only be described as “ting”.

“Giggle at this, ghosties.”

She flicked the switch and a wall of flame erupted from her makeshift weapon. Surging forward, it engulfed the hunter-killer mascots in a wave of scorching heat and demolished the monuments to sharing and caring that lined the tunnel. The murderous robots began to melt in the intense heat, their chassis collapsing in on themselves as they were bowled out of sight by the roiling flames. The water around Bon-Bon and Trixie was steaming and they gritted their teeth in pain as the heat reached almost unbearable levels, leaping free of the water as soon as the blast of fire had passed them. They shook themselves furiously to clear the scalding liquid from their coats as soon as possible.

Lyra dropped her impromptu flamethrower and trotted over, still grinning. Her belly and face were dark, coat scorched by the intense heat of the ex-dragon’s discharge.

“So? Aren’t you glad to see me?”

Trixie and Bon-Bon just looked at her, unable to speak.

Scene 10

~:~ The rhythmic beep of the EKG is the only sound in the room bar Stormy Sky’s haggard breaths. Sweetfire stands by his side, one hoof resting forlornly on the edge of his hospital bed. She is no longer crying, having cried all the tears she could cry already. She meets his eyes as he opens his mouth, visibly gathering what strength his body, exhausted from months of constant activity, can still muster. His voice is weak, a hoarse edge creeping into it no matter how hard he tries.

“Sweetfire... I need to tell you... tell you something... before I go...”

She shakes her head, stroking his mane tenderly.

“Baby, don’t talk, you’re not going anywhere. You need to save your strength!”

With great effort, he brushes her hoof away and continues, every word sending pain lancing through him.

“I just wanted to say... I never meant to... to treat you the way I did. I just... I just loved you too much. I couldn’t bear to see you go.” ~:~

Luna waved her magically-lifted spoon in the air frantically, eyes glistening with raw emotion. She cried at the screen through a mouthful of zap-apple ice cream shovelled from the jumbo tub she held.

“NO, STORMY SKY! YOU NEED NOT APOLOGISE! IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE TRUTH!”

~:~ Stormy Sky coughs heavily, the act of talking wracking his already failing body. He takes a deep, rattling breath and with a heroic effort speaks again.

“One last thing to say... I... I have to ask...”

Sweetfire leans in, clutching his hoof in hers.

“Anything, Sky! Ask me anything!”

Stormy Sky closes his eyes, hating himself for asking the question, but knowing he must.

“Was I... Was I the only pony for you? Was I... good enough?”

Sweetfire shakes her head and smiles weakly, as if to dismiss the question as not even worth asking.

“Of course you were, Sky. You were always good enough.”

The bedridden pony opens his eyes and looks into hers. He smiles, a look of true happiness dispelling all the exhaustion and pain from his face. Then his eyes close again, he sinks back into his bed. The slow beeping trails off into a single unbroken tone. ~:~

Luna burst into tears.

Scene 11

Lyra, Trixie and Bon-Bon worked their way back through the park to the main plaza, leaving the burning It’s A Small Equestria behind them. Trixie had expressed surprise at Lyra’s single-hoofed destruction of the mascot threat but, to her temporary allies’ relief, had not pressed the issue. Presumably she was still unsure of how to deal with the ‘revelation’ of her identity as The Great and Powerful Trixie.

The main gate was in sight. After surveying the area for threats, they made a run for it, ready to escape by any means necessary. But as they entered the centre of the square, their path was blocked by the Flim Flam Brothers’ bizarre vehicle, chugging forward out of seemingly nowhere to block the only exit. The brothers sat atop it, reclining in their rooftop couch, conversing as though the three exhausted ponies before them weren’t even there.

“It seems that those young fillies have managed to evade our mechanical chums!”

“It seems so! What do you think we should do, brother of mine?”

“It is my considered opinion that we should give them a closer look at our peculiar mode of transport!”

“A most spectacular plan! In the interests of ensuring their timely demise, perhaps a very close look might be recommended?”

The calamitous contraption suddenly sped forward, spitting steam and sparking magic as it rolled towards the three ponies with deceptive speed. They scattered, splitting the brothers’ attention and forcing them to pick a target. They chose Trixie. Swerving dangerously, the machine careened after her as Lyra and Bon-Bon circled back around to chase after it, intent on discovering some way of slowing it down.

Trixie was doing all she could, but she was already near breaking-point both from overusing her magic and the ordeal in the boat ride. The brothers’ machine quickly closed, and she could feel the ground shaking beneath her pounding hooves as it rumbled nearer. Luckily for her, she had led her pursuer dead at the wall of a large barn-shaped shop, and she leapt to the side moments before she hit it herself. The brothers and their transport slammed into the structure, bringing it down around them with an echoing crash. The machine’s racket ceased.

Lyra and Bon-Bon ran to Trixie’s side and helped her up. There was a faint crackle of static from Bon-Bon’s bag and she quickly pulled out her communicator. It was working! Whatever was jamming it must have been part of the brothers machine, damaged or destroyed in the crash. Frantically activating it, she spoke urgently.

“Vinyl, we need the nanosuits deployed to the main plaza of Flim Flam Funland immediately!”

Vinyl Scratch’s reply was tinny, doing nothing to hide her usual bubbly enthusiasm.

“Whoa, you ran into some trouble at the park after all? Guess we should’ve known tha-”

Bon-Bon cut her off before she could waste any more time.

“Right now, Vinyl!”

Vinyl audibly checked herself, her reply professional and swift.

“Roger that, BB. Nanosuits incoming. Gonna use the experimental biometrically-targeted teleportation for immediate delivery. You might want to brace yourself.”

Before Bon-Bon could ask what she meant, a shimmering blue light had suffused her and Lyra. Trixie’s expression froze in horror as the light coalesced to hug the two ponies’ bodies before solidifying into full-body barding, one red and one blue, and the realisation of who she had been fighting alongside thrust itself into her mind with terrible urgency.

“... Harpflank... and Sweets?”

Bon-Bon opened her mouth to speak, but at that moment a tremendous metallic groan emerged from the crumbled storefront and the brothers’ machine burst from the wreckage, lights flashing and gears screaming as it sailed over them. Skidding across the square, it came to a clanking halt facing the heroic duo and Trixie’s still-stunned form. Flim and Flam were finally standing, their faces pictures of determination as their machine struggled to function beneath them. Without a word, they focused their magic and the device roared forward, smoke pouring from every crevice.

Their targets’ response was immediate. Bon-Bon stepped forward and projected a repulsor field before them, while Lyra’s suit glowed as the nanomachines replicated sufficiently to create a weapon. She called out to trigger the voice-activation program that Vinyl had insisted on leaving in, having protested that it was “just too cool.”

“Sword on!”

The newly created nanos leapt from her back and collected in mid-air, swirling and twisting as the pony-sized mass combined to form...

“Another cello?!”

Vinyl’s voice came through her earpiece.

“Tavi likes it, and just try changing her mind.”

Groaning in exasperation, Lyra set herself, ready to swing. The Flim Flams barreled forward, unable to stop even had they wanted to. The machine hit Bon-Bon’s repulsor field at full speed and with a flash of energy was soundly repelled, the impact pushing Bon-Bon back several feet. The resulting backlash of force catapulted the mass of metal into the air. Lyra leapt, metal instrument flying with her. Her horn glowed brightly as her magic enveloped the musical weapon and the machine spiralled almost lazily in the air above her. The Flim Flams exchanged a terrified glance as Lyra streaked towards them like a green bullet.

“Next town?”

“Next town.”

Lyra swung. The cello collided with the spinning contraption’s underbelly and kept going, tracing a full vertical circle in the air as it sliced through the already-weakened chassis. The machine was bisected totally and Lyra shot through the gap left between the two halves. As she reached the zenith of her magically-augmented leap, she seemed to hang in the air for a moment as the cello dissolved back into her suit. Then she fell, landing gracefully just in time for the machine to explode behind her, the resulting fireball silhouetting her against the darkness. Bon-Bon extended the repulsor field to cover her, Lyra and Trixie as debris rained down.

Scene 12

The metal rain ceased and the smoke cleared. Bon-Bon let the field drop and turned to face Trixie, who had fallen to her haunches in shock. She gently went to help her up and winced as Trixie slapped her away. Trixie slowly picked herself up. Lyra walked uneasily to Bon-Bon’s side as they watched the trembling unicorn gather herself. She was shaking with barely contained emotion. She lifted her head and Lyra and Bon-Bon were forced to step back by the intensity of the betrayal in her eyes.

“All along... All along, you were but Harpflank and Sweets...”

Bon-Bon took a tentative step forward, foreleg extended in supplication.

“Trixie, we tried to tell yo-”

Trixie interrupted her with a snap, voice cracking.

“Tell me what? That this... wonderful day was nothing but a lie? A hilarious game you chose to play with your hated enemy Trixie, that you might laugh when next we fought?”

Lyra stepped forward too, pleading.

“Please, Trixie, we get it now! You’re not the pony we thought you were! We want to be your frie-”

Trixie cut in again, still quivering with rage.

“And you are exactly the ponies I thought you were!”

She pushed past the two heroes, never meeting their eyes. She looked into the sky, to the moon. Her voice was quiet now, but cold.

“I remember now why I joined my Lady’s cause. This city is full of fools. Pathetic ponies toy with each other in an endless waltz of emotional deception while those of us with true talent are ignored. I admit, your scheme led me to... to doubt. But now I am sure.”

She span to face them. Her expression was at once broken and resolute, streaming tears the frame for a mask of loathing. Lyra and Bon-Bon looked away in shame, unable to meet her heartbroken gaze. Trixie spoke again, this time with a terrible finality, each word hissed with venomous precision.

“Friendship is corruption.”

Without another word, she turned away. She kept walking even as the wail of sirens cut through the night and searchlights from the arriving clean-up crews focused on her. Guard stallions dropped from swiftly descending helicopters and surrounded her, guns primed, but still she walked onwards. An officer called to his troops as rotors wound down and sirens ceased.

“Prepare for capture!”

The soldier directly blocking Trixie’s exit raised his weapon as she bore steadily down upon him, barrel shaking as he gazed into the face of her implacable sorrow.

“No!”

He looked around to see Lyra and Bon-Bon sat in despair, unable to support themselves beneath the weight of their failure. Bon-Bon was trembling as she said the words that she knew she would regret, but could not go on without saying.

“Let her go. We’ve hurt her enough tonight.”

One by one, the guards lowered their weapons, and the circle slowly parted to let Trixie through.

The only sound was the clop of her hooves on the paving as she walked out of the light, gradually fading into the darkness of the night.

Alone.

[ Credits roll. ]

Coming soon: Episode 37 - Season Finale, Part 1!

Episode 38: Season Finale - Part 2

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS CONTINUE STRIKING BACK

by Arcainum

Scene 1

The bullet struck Vinyl Scratch directly between the eyes, sending the technologically-possessed unicorn spiralling backwards with a piercing static scream. Flying almost the entire length of the corridor, the red blur shot past Octavia as her mind struggled to process the events that had just occurred. With a series of heavy thuds, the suited Vinyl landed and finally rolled to halt before the main elevators.

There was a terrible silence, broken only by the faint rumblings of the sonic rainboom still echoing throughout the base. Octavia slowly began to turn, forcing herself to see what she did not want to see. What she did not expect, however, was the tinkle of the bullet falling to the floor and a low groan that could only have come from...

“Ow. Seriously, ow.”

Octavia whirled around to see Vinyl pulling herself up to a sitting position, rubbing the swelling bruise beneath her horn and still decidedly alive. The red nanosuit was dissolving, collapsing into a pool of lifeless sludge accompanied by a dwindling hiss and its crimson light fading. Octavia tried to speak, but was unable to say a word. She settled instead for rushing to Vinyl’s side and hugging her tightly. Vinyl winced as she was crushed in her partner’s embrace, but laughed anyway.

“Whoa, Tavi, I thought I was the emotional one!”

Octavia released her as Derpy appeared from her office. She seemed none the worse for wear for her impact with the wall. She flew over with a smile on her face and her eyes crossed in delight.

“Are you okay, Vinyl Scratch?! We thought you were a goner for sure!”

Octavia, the thrill of fear subsiding, was falling back into her usual calculating self.

“I don’t understand. How in Metropony did that not kill you?”

Vinyl grinned.

“The central nerve cluster, duh.”

Octavia stared, then uncharacteristically facehoofed, such was the degree of her frustration.

“How could I forget? It must have slipped my mind in my pani... In the heat of the moment.”

Vinyl waved her hoof at her patronisingly.

“It’s okay, Tavi. We can’t all be so level-headed in a crisis.”

Octavia’s retort was cut off by Derpy landing and poking her head into the discussion.

“I’m sorry, could someone explain? I just don’t know what went right.”

Vinyl moved to stand up, but gave up as the pain from both her struggles with the suit and recent crash-landing hit her again. Resting on her haunches, she began to explain.

“Okay, so the nanomachines use a central AI, right? You remember when that Lunatron army invaded? We stole the method Trixie was using to make the robots work in tandem and applied it to the nanos.”

Derpy nodded slowly, clearly only barely following.

“The problem was that the program was way too complicated to operate in a system-wide cloud. We needed a central unit to hold the core program. So, there’s always one cluster of nanomachines in each suit that’s running said core program and relaying it to the other nanos. It also makes all the decisions.”

Derpy’s eyes, if possible, crossed even further. Her expression showed a confusion bordering on physical pain as Vinyl’s words washed over her.

“So, basically, there’s one point on each suit which the program will automatically task way more defensive power to. If it is destroyed, there’s nothing running the suit and the whole thing deconstructs. And that’s exactly what you hit. Nice shot, Commander!”

She gave Derpy a sly wink as the Commander coughed, realising the explanation had ended without her noticing, and drew herself up into an official-looking stance.

“Yes, well. They don’t call me ‘Deadeye Derpy’ for nothing, you know.”

Octavia still looked incredulous, her desire for a rational explanation visibly battling her relief at her friend’s survival.

“I agree that we designed the nerve cluster to be far more durable than the rest of the suit, but that would mean... the Commander’s bullet must have been travelling at precisely the right speed. Fast enough to destroy the cluster and slow enough to not penetrate when the nanos took the impact. The odds against that are...”

Vinyl grinned again and nodded vigourously.

“Yup. Lucky me, huh?”

She reached a hoof to her head in pain again.

“Man, we are good. I can’t believe I took a shot from Bubbles in the head and actually made it.”

Derpy saluted with a smile.

“And we’re glad you did, Vinyl. We’d hate to lose you. Now, I hate to ask after all this madness, but I need you both on mission support for Lyra and Bon-Bon. Who knows what Trixie has been throwing at them while we’ve been occupied?”

The two specialists returned the salute and Octavia helped Vinyl to her feet.

“Roger that, Commander Hooves. Returning to ExTech immediately.”

With that, they began the long, painful walk back to the lab.

Scene 2

Trixie looked out across Metropony from her place atop the enormous Lunatron. The missile barrage had left huge craters pockmarking the streets, as if some great beast had smashed at the ground in fury. Ash wafted through the sky as the wind whipped at the broken metropolis and fires raged across the city, feeding each other. Here and there a skyscraper would crumble as the small businesses that formed their foundation were consumed by the flames. At last, her victory was complete. Luna would rule. From this ruin, She would raise the capital of Her Empire, an empire that would rise to surpass Celestia’s and bring an end to the weakness that infested the world.

To think that it had been so simple. For months she had had doubts that her mistress was correct. Her constant defeat at the hooves of Harpflank and Sweets had led her to believe that, perhaps, right was not on their side. But Lyra and Bon-Bon’s vile betrayal had cemented the truth in her mind. The world was corrupt.

At the thought of Lyra, she turned to face her new ally, who was also staring out across the city, her face unreadable. Trixie trotted to where Lyra stood, at the edge of the metal platform that topped the Lunatron’s head. The nanosuit’s blue glow almost matched Trixie’s own coat.

“You see, Lyra? We are great and powerful, and the ponies below were weak. They spent their time babbling nothings and toying with each others’ hearts, confident that their ‘friends’ would keep them all safe. Yet here we stand, victori-”

Lyra spun to face her and cut her off with a sharp tone.

“Shut up, Trixie. I’m here because I think the world needs shaking up, not because I want to hear you rant about The Great and Powerful You. This...” She waved a hoof vaguely towards the smoking ruins. “This is... necessary. I get that.”

She turned back to the burning city, away from the pouting Trixie, and said quietly, half to herself,

“But nopony should enjoy it. Nopony.”

Trixie harrumphed and conjured her control panel again. With a few button presses, the Lunatron turned ponderously, coming to rest facing the one building in the city that still stood above them: Celestia Tower.

Metropony’s centre of government, the tower was the city’s direct link to Canterlot, in which thousands of bureaucrats, accountants and busybodies took the vague diktats laid out in the letters that occasionally arrived from the Equestrian capital and translated them into workable policy. Its destruction would be both functional and symbolic; it would both sever Metropony’s connection to the rest of the world and show the citizens that Celestia’s rule here was truly over.

As the colossal robot began its journey to the centre of the city where the slender white spire reached heavenwards, Lyra watched her home burn. She could never forget this moment, the moment she left everything behind for a new future.

If she did, she would never forgive herself.

Scene 3

Bon-Bon watched her friend turn away from her, from their home. She could no longer see Lyra as the vast Lunatron began its advance on Celestia Tower, obscured as she was by both the metallic bulk of the robot and the rising smoke and ash. The square had been untouched by the missile barrage, but the great fires were closing in from the areas that had and Bon-Bon began to feel the heat as the decorative greenery that ringed the plaza began to burn.

Even as the flames drew closer, she sat, unmoving. But her mind was not numb and empty as it had been when Lyra had abandoned her. A single thought was thrusting itself into her consciousness, demanding she acknowledge it even through her despair.

At that moment, she had seen something in Lyra’s eyes. At the huge distance, it could easily have been her imagination. But somehow she knew that what she had seen was the truth. A single spark of emotion had escaped her friend’s heart and written itself on her face for an instant, and it filled Bon-Bon with hope.

She stood, slowly, every movement brimming with purpose. She turned to face the Lunatron, steadying herself as the ground shook with its every step. With practiced efficiency, she reached into her utility saddlebag and pulled free her grapple gun. In the same motion, she took aim and fired, the coil of metal wire flying true to the roof of a nearby building. She was airborne in an instant. As she neared the line’s point of contact, she retracted the hook and fired again. Swinging between the remaining buildings, she began her pursuit of the accelerating Lunatron.

Her eyes burned with determination. She knew now that she could save her friend. And she would.

Scene 4

Vinyl slumped into her chair in Head Office, aching from her ordeal under the suit’s control. Octavia was already tapping away at her terminal, calling up the city-wide monitoring and communications systems that they used to aid Lyra and Bon-Bon from behind the scenes. As Vinyl took a moment to close her eyes, breathe deeply, and appreciate being alive, the tapping stopped. Octavia called her over, concern clear in her voice. The day had been exhausting so far and promised to continue to be so, and the computer genius’ taciturn facade was slipping ever further as events escalated.

“Vinyl, you really need to see this.”

Spurred into urgency by Octavia’s continuing displays of emotion, Vinyl crossed the room to the main terminal as fast as her body would allow her. She gasped as she took in what the readouts were telling them.

“That... that can’t be right. Every pony in the city?!”

On the main screen was an aerial view of the cratered Metropony, with information such as population density, defensive viability, and the position of organisation patrols thickly covering it. Every graph, scale and gauge was at zero. There was not a single pony in the city, save the two riding the grey mass of the Lunatron that was crossing the map. And, far behind but gaining fast, a single cream icon. As the two specialists stared at the chaos portrayed before them, Vinyl realised something.

“Lyra is with Trixie... Something’s gone way wrong while we were busy, Tavi.”

Octavia nodded, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

“The Empire must be far more powerful than we ever suspected. An operation of this scale is unthinkable. How could they have moved every single pony from the city without us noticing?”

Vinyl shrugged, eyes still focused on the flashing symbol denoting Bon-Bon.

“No idea. Maybe they hacked our sensors without us noticing and did it while we were blind. Maybe the suit going haywire was a set-up to distract us. Maybe Luna’s so awesome she just up and ‘ported them all out. Whatever it was, Trixie’s got something planned. Look where she’s headed.”

Octavia followed Vinyl’s pointing hoof and narrowed her eyes.

“Celestia Tower. This is getting worse by the minute. If Trixie finds what we’re building in there...”

Vinyl finished her sentence for her.

“We’re in big trouble. I think...”

They looked at each other, coming to an agreement without needing words. They nodded, and Vinyl opened a channel to the Commanders office.

“Derpy, sir? You might want to get Bubbles ready. We’re moving out.”

Scene 5

Lyra stared. She had expected Bon-Bon to leave, to go back to base and inform them of her betrayal. It was the logical thing to do. Report, re-arm, retaliate. As often as circumstances forced her act otherwise, Bon-Bon put great stock in regulations and would follow them wherever possible. But now...

Her ex-partner was keeping pace with the Lunatron, unable to gain any distance as it reached its cruising speed but not falling behind due to the skill of her grapnel swings. Bon-Bon’s eyes were fixed firmly on Lyra, and the determined pony’s expression caused a strange fear to grip her tightly. Her horn flared.

Green light surrounded chunks of rubble and metal from the gutted skyscrapers hurtled at Bon-Bon, trying to swat her out of the air as Lyra panicked. Bon-Bon twisted, altering her swings at the last moment in such a way to dodge the flying debris but maintain her momentum. She wove a deft path of least resistance through the rain of projectiles with almost balletic grace. Lyra’s horn glowed brighter as the strange feeling grew stronger, and the storm of masonry intensified. She started shouting across the distance, trying to dissuade her friend from her course before something terrible happened.

“Please, BB! Don’t make me do this!”

Despite her protestations, the debris continued to fly at Bon-Bon. Lyra’s nanosuit shone brighter than ever.

Then, suddenly, it was over. A chunk of stone ripped from the corner of the Apple Family Bank swung at Bon-Bon at a trajectory that she just couldn’t avoid in time. It slammed into her side, snapping her line and sending her tumbling towards the ground. Lyra rushed to the very edge of the platform in horror, watching her pursuer’s body fall from sight, curled in pain.

But Bon-Bon wasn’t finished. Recovering from the hit and twisting in mid-air as she fell, she pulled a cord on her saddlebag that Lyra had never seen before. The saddlebags began to move strangely and swiftly, surface shimmering and somehow... changing. In seconds, they had become a series of shifting metal plates that began to expand and form two large metal cylinders, almost the size of Bon-Bon herself, tipped with whirling fans. With a whine that even Lyra could hear, a deep orange glow flickered into life in the depths of the tubes. A roar erupted from below as great plumes of flame burst from the back of what Lyra now realised was the jetpack Vinyl had been working on for months now. Bon-Bon’s descent immediately reversed and she rocketed upwards, trailing smoke. Lyra fell back as the flying pony zoomed past, mane streaming in the rush of air her passage brought with it. She picked herself up as Bon-Bon’s trajectory took her up... and up... and up, until she was a speck in the centre of the shining circle of the sun.

Then, she began to fall. As the speck grew into a blur, and the blur into Bon-Bon, Lyra stumbled backwards as her inexplicable terror reached its peak. She scrabbled at the platform, desperately searching for some hatch into the workings of the machine, but her gaze was pulled upwards again by the sound of a voice. Bon-Bon’s scream ripped through the air, growing louder by the second as the jetpack propelled her ever faster downwards.

“Lyyyyyyraaaaaaaaa!”

She drew level with the Lunatron, and just as it seemed she would pass it and fly into the ground, she pulled up in an instant and shot straight at Lyra. With a tremendous impact that took the wind out of both of them, the two ponies collided, Bon-Bon wrapping her forelegs around Lyra’s midriff and carrying her off the Lunatron and into the air beyond. The jetpack sputtered and failed after being pushed harder than it was ever meant to pushed, and they crashed onto the rooftop of the Department of Loyalty, one of the five ministries surrounding Celestia Tower. They rolled with the crash, the sheer force of Bon-Bon’s descent carrying them to the very edge of the roof. Lyra ended up on her back, with Bon-Bon straddling her. Before Lyra could do anything to throw her off, Bon-Bon raised her foreleg and roared,

“WHAT THEY HAY DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!”

Her hoof came down, all her rage and sadness and hope infusing it with a power beyond any mere punch. Bon-Bon’s feelings condensed in her strike as it swung towards Lyra’s face, its descent seeming somehow more awesome and terrible than even the fall of the megacello, so many weeks ago.

The blow connected. The world stood still, for just one moment. Two ponies, betrayer and betrayed. Bon-Bon’s hoof slamming into Lyra’s cheek, and Lyra’s eyes, in that very second, brimming with realisation.

Time began again and the incredible power of Bon-Bon’s punch sent Lyra skidding out from underneath her, coming to a halt a few feet away. She lay on her back, Bon-Bon’s hoofmark gracing her face, and stared into the sky as what she had almost done became clear.

A shadow fell over her and Bon-Bon’s head appeared in her vision, smiling now with a warmth that brought tears to Lyra’s eyes. She turned her face away, unable to meet her friend’s gaze. Through the tears, she admitted to Bon-Bon what she could only now admit to herself, words tumbling over themselves to be said.

“BB, I thought it was the suit dragging me on. I felt so powerful after the cello thing, all the time, and... unappreciated and... and the suit made it better. Then they started playing up and I started feeling even worse, and when I was wearing the suit I didn’t have to think, just act, and then...”

She took a deep breath and carried on, forcing the words out between the great sobs that were now wracking her.

“It was me, Bon-Bon. It was all me. My suit was malfunctioning because it was holding me back. I... I stood back and I let this happen, and I did it of my own accord.”

The hoof that had so recently smashed into her face with such force now gently nudged her face around to face Bon-Bon, who was still giving Lyra that friendly smile.

“I know.”

Lyra sat up, blinking away the tears to stare at her friend.

“You... what?”

Bon-Bon shrugged with impossible nonchalance.

“I know it was all you.”

She grew more serious, but the smile never left her face.

“I saw you turning away, all the way up there on the Lunatron. And I saw something that I figured you couldn’t see in yourself. When I looked into your eyes as you betrayed everything you loved...”

She helped Lyra to her feet as she spoke. Placing a comforting hoof on her friend’s shoulder, she continued,

“I saw regret. And that’s when I knew I’d get you back.”

Lyra’s eyes welled with tears again and she managed to say,

“Why’d you come back for me, BB?”

Bon-Bon laughed and pulled her into a hug, an embrace so tight it felt like they would never separate.

“Because you’re my best friend, dummy. And I love you too much to let you do something stupid like become a supervillain.”

They were still for a moment, basking in the reaffirmation of their friendship. Lyra wiped her eyes and sniffed as, as if its job was done, the nanosuit began to deconstruct itself, dissolving into the air as the nanomachines lost cohesion and drifted away.

A few seconds later, she began to wriggle.

“Okay, that’s too much hugging now. Don’t go getting the wrong idea.”

Bon-Bon let go and laughed again, the laughter of true happiness. Lyra joined her and, for just a minute, all was right with the world.

Scene 6

The moment was broken by a scream.

“No! NO!”

The Lunatron had followed them, Trixie’s wrathful form atop its head. Her face was a mask of hatred. She continued to rant as Lyra and Bon-Bon span to face her, ready to do whatever they could against this impossible enemy.

“I thought you were strong, Lyra! I thought you understood power! I... I thought you understood me! You could’ve been great and powerful! But instead you will die, along with the pathetic friendship you so treasure!”

The Lunatron raised a leg to crush Lyra and Bon-Bon once and for all. The two friends watched it descend and realised that they had no way to defend against it. They braced themselves for the end.

But the end never came. There was an explosion that shook the very ground and the Lunatron’s leg shattered in a burst of blue energy, great shards of metal raining across the empty city. Trixie exclaimed in surprise and the Lunatron crashed to the ground, struggling to balance on three legs. A voice rang out across the battlefield, coming from the roof of the Department of Laughter. What they saw there made Lyra and Bon-Bon’s hearts leap.

“Sorry we’re late, guys!”

Vinyl Scratch stood atop the ministry building holding an enormous plasma cannon, obviously cannibalised from one of Trixie’s Lunatrons. It was almost three times the size of the pony that held it, supported by a series of makeshift tripods. How she had got it there, the two heroes couldn’t even begin to guess.

The Lunatron rose again, Trixie putting everything she could into making it rear and swipe at Lyra and Bon-Bon again, swinging its remaining foreleg at the pair. But before it could get anywhere near them, it went the same way as its twin, blue flame ripping through it and vaporising it from the knee down. The path of the projectile led to the Department of Generosity, where Octavia stood with a copy of Vinyl’s cannon.

“We have come to aid you.”

Trixie continued to hammer at her control panel. Panels opened all along the Lunatron and missiles swarmed forth, homing in on the four ponies that opposed her. As they flew into the air, however, a storm of gunfire erupted from the Department of Kindness as the bandaged Nurse Redheart fired her collection of heavy weaponry into the sky, ripping through the missiles and causing a chain reaction that destroyed half the swarm before they could even lock targets. The remainder began to scatter beyond Redheart’s ability to hit them, but a single white line streaked from the Department of Honesty. The line struck a single missile and at the exact same moment broke the rainbow barrier, creating a sonic rainboom that swept across the sky, exploding every other missile simultaneously. Redheart threw a curt nod at Derpy, who was already readying Bubbles for a second shot.

With every new arrival, Lyra and Bon-Bon gained new strength. They felt something deep inside them, something they had never even known existed. It was as if their very souls had somehow... changed.

Trixie screamed, incoherent with the intensity of her anger. She was beyond words now, and her horn began to shine so brightly that it hurt to look at. The Lunatron was engulfed entirely in the light of her magic and, where the forelegs had been destroyed, two blue outlines formed in the air. It stood upon the magical legs and screamed with its mistress, Trixie’s rage and hatred and terrible loneliness giving it life that it might do her bidding. The blazing unicorn finally managed to speak, crying to the heavens.

“Why, Celestia?! Why do your lies give them such power?! Why can they not understand?!”

“We do understand, Trixie!”

Trixie’s gaze snapped to where Lyra and Bon-Bon stood determined, every inch of them resolute and filled with conviction. Lyra’s magic enveloped both her and Bon-Bon and, as Trixie watched in astonishment, the green light began to develop a cream hue.

“But that’s impossible! You’re an earth pony! You can’t use magic! How are you doing that?!”

The magical light drew a line from Lyra and Bon-Bon to Vinyl Scratch, surrounding her as well. Her own horn began to glow, a blue border forming around the two-toned light that covered her. Her voice rang out, the voice of the inventor who never let a failure get her down, who took everything in her stride and always saw the bright side.

“It’s not just magic, Trixie! It’s what this city embodies, what we give our all to protect!”

The light moved on, linking Vinyl to Octavia. As the light covered her and added a refined grey to its palette, the specialist who did everything for her friends, never complaining or showing her emotions as she worked for the benefit of the city, shouted across the city.

“It is what fuelled our designs, what gave them the edge over yours! It is what gave us our strength when we fought!”

Next in the light’s path was Derpy, eyes aligned perfectly as her words erupted straight from her heart, clear of any deception, saying exactly what she meant. The light seemed to sharpen, become clearer.

“It’s what makes us work as a unit! As a team! As a family!”

Redheart joined the congregation as the light engulfed her, crystal voice filled with the conviction to protect what she held dear, and to always do the best for others. With her voice, the light brightened, suffused with a healing warmth.

“It’s what makes us stand up when we fall to the ground, and help our comrades when they do the same!”

The light at last finished its circuit and came back to Lyra and Bon-Bon. They stood on their back legs side by side, each with a hoof pointed to the sun, sunlight gleaming from the tips. The light was incandescent now, the unbroken line from pony to pony forming an irregular five-pointed star with Celestia Tower as its centre. Lyra’s voice cried out across the city, thick with emotion and trembling as the magic continued to build, aided by this strange change within them.

“It’s what keeps us together, even when... even when the journey seems darkest and the only way is forward!”

The Lunatron writhed in the centre of the star, the aura of the six ponies’ power forcing it to the ground even as Trixie’s berserk magical overload pushed it back up. Trixie was barely coherent, railing against the defeat that seemed, once again, inevitable. Her voice wracked with despair, she cried to the ponies around her, pleading.

“What is your strength?! What makes you so powerful?! I don’t understand!”

Bon-Bon closed her eyes, a single tear running down her cheek as she readied herself for what she feared was to come. She had no idea, none of them did, what would happen when the power that was building within them was released.

“I know, Trixie. And you never will. We tried to show you, but you turned away, unable to look beyond yourself! Friendship... Friendship is not corruption.”

She opened her eyes, and when she spoke, the five other ponies spoke with her, the power in their voices echoing cross the city and sending shockwaves through the very fabric of reality.

“Friendship...IS MAGIC!”

The light they had brought forth erupted into a pillar of brilliance, five-pointed star extending into the sky. Celestia Tower began to shine like the sun, throwing its own lance of light heavenwards. High above the city, the six beams converged to form a dazzling rainbow that gracefully arced downwards, racing towards the screaming Trixie. The Lunatron, infused with all her emotion, roared one final time, screaming with its mistress against a world that had rejected her.

The rainbow engulfed the Lunatron. Slowly, almost kindly, it began to vanish. Starting from its back legs, the metal pony glowed brightly and began to dissipate into golden motes that wafted gently into the air. The process continued along its body and upwards, finally reaching the head. As the shining particles floated back down to the city, the wounded metropolis began to rebuild, craters filling themselves and shattered buildings climbing back into the sky. The magic of friendship recreated its greatest bastion as fast as it had been destroyed, restoring Metropony to its former glory in a gentle shower of healing rain.

As the light reached Trixie, she too began to disappear. But even as she vanished, a smile crept onto her face. The rainbow’s warmth gave her what a lifetime of striving and hardship had never managed. Deep within her soul, something... changed.

“Ah... so that’s it...”

And then she was gone.

Scene 7

The six ponies sat on the Department of Loyalty’s rooftop, watching the sun set over the renewed Metropony. Even now, organisation forces were combing the catacombs for the missing citizenry and bringing them to the surface, and were reporting that Luna’s operations seemed to have been largely abandoned. The Princess Herself had seemingly vanished.

The six were silent. They had all felt the change within them, and the power they had unleashed was like nothing they had ever heard of. An unspoken bond, both magical and emotional, tied them now, and none of them quite felt ready to address it. Finally, Lyra spoke.

“So... what happened?”

Vinyl hesitantly replied.

“I remember finding a weird book in Sparkle Library one time. It had... legends. About certain groups of ponies.”

Octavia scoffed.

“The Elements of Harmony? I presume your next claim is that the Secret Six are going to appear next?”

Derpy interrupted politely.

“I’m sorry, but I deal with military affairs mostly, so if someone could fill me in...”

Vinyl put her explaining face on.

“Supposedly, there’s this group of six...call them elemental forces. They encapsulate everything that’s good about ponies. Loyalty, Honesty, Generosity, Kindness, Laughter and... something else. That one’s hazy. When the world is in crazy danger, these forces...I don’t know...let’s say ‘possess’ six ponies who embody those virtues and give them the power to end the threat.”

Bon-Bon chimed in, looking thoughtful.

“And you think we might be those ponies? Who were those Secret Six Octavia mentioned?”

Vinyl nodded, acknowledging the hole in her story.

“Well, apparently the founders of this city were bearers of the Elements. But nopony knows who they were. Supposedly some of the landmarks in the city are named after them, but that’s the weird thing. We don’t know which ones.”

She shrugged.

“Anyway, that’s my take on it. It’s the only thing I can think of that could explain us being able to do... well, what we did.”

They settled back into silence, each thinking their way through the implications of them potentially being magically linked to the safety of the world.

Lyra spoke again, glancing at the starred hat that lay beside her.

“She’s... not coming back next week. Not this time.”

Bon-Bon sighed deeply, still not sure if Trixie’s fate had been necessary, or even right.

“No.”

“... She didn’t have to die.”

“No, she didn’t. And that’s our fault. We couldn’t control our power.”

She stood up, and turned to face her five closest friends.

Lyra, partner in battle and, though she sometimes faltered, eternally loyal.

Derpy, honest to a fault and surrogate mother to every member of her organisation.

Vinyl, irrepressible and optimistic to the end.

Octavia, endlessly working out of sight to aid those she cared for.

Redheart, never flinching in her duty to the wounded and the needy, no matter the cost to herself.

Sat together like this, the five of them looked... right. As if this was how things had always been meant to be.

“She turned her back on ponykind because ponykind turned its back on her. It’s our job now to ensure that this never happens again. We have to stop Luna. We have to stop Her Empire, based solely on power. We have to stop her twisted philosophy turning good ponies against each other. And we have to stop her together.”

As the sun bathed them in its fading rays, Bon-Bon’s heart was full. Not with hope, but with certainty. Together, as friends, they would win.

They would win.

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: SEASON FINALE - FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC... SOMETIMES

[ Credits roll. ]

The battle is over, but the city-spanning adventures of Harpflank and Sweets will continue and the greatest pony of them all - The Great and Powerful Trixie - will return.

Coming soon: Harpflank and Sweets: The Movie - The Mare On The Moon!

Harpflank and Sweets: The Movie

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: THE MOVIE

by Arcainum

A year has passed since Trixie’s defeat, and the city of Metropony has been at peace. Luna’s Empire has seemingly vanished without warning, and the rogue Princess with it. But Metropony’s valiant defenders Harpflank and Sweets, and their friends in the municipal defence agency M.A.R.E., remain vigilant. Struggling to understand their role as the bearers of the Elements of Harmony and desperate to ensure that the tragedy of The Great and Powerful Trixie may never be repeated, they enter a new year that will test them to their very limits...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: THE MOVIE - THE MARE ON THE MOON

Scene 1

Bon-Bon casts a glance sideways at her companion, who has yet to stop talking since their introduction. The green unicorn is babbling at length about the wonders of the oceanic pony subspecies. When Bon-Bon had first been assigned by the agency to manage the (apparently) gifted but so far unrecognised harpist, she had leapt at the chance for work. But now she is regretting her decision as the musician continues to spout nonsense. Attempting to cut the stream of words off at its source, she interjects sharply.

“So... Lyra, was it? As your new manager, I suppose I should get to know you better. What do you do outside of your work?”

Lyra stops mid-flow, thinks about the question for a moment, then begins talking again as quickly as she had ceased.

“I like to do a lot of stuff. I practice, though I guess that’s work too, and I do martial arts and I watch TV and I fight crime and I-”

Bon-Bon blinks and interrupts again.

“You do what?”

Lyra realises what she has just said and attempts to backpedal.

“Like I said, I do martial arts, I watch TV... Normal stuff. I spend most of my time practicing anyway.”

Bon-Bon fixes her with a suspicious gaze, eyes narrowed.

“You definitely said ‘I fight crime.’”

Lyra laughs, waving a hoof dismissively.

“Oh, that was just a joke. Artists, we crazy, you know? Anyway, like I was saying, their music is legendary...”

Bon-Bon sighs and gives in. A few minutes in and already she is tiring of Lyra’s boundless energy.

Eventually they reach the studio. Despite difficulties in making Lyra concentrate on what she is actually here to do, they are ready to record ahead of schedule. Bon-Bon sits, watching the hyperactive pony fidget in the booth while sitting in a most peculiar fashion, and prays that this is worth it. She takes a deep breath and keys the microphone.

“Okay, Lyra? When you’re ready.”

Lyra nods. A sudden change comes over her. She closes her eyes, and she sits almost perfectly still. Her horn begins to glow, and a matching light suffuses the harp.

Later, she doesn’t know how long, Bon-Bon wakes up. She stares at Lyra, who is waving at her like a filly on a school trip, and realises that her mouth is open and a tear has rolled down her cheek. Hurriedly wiping it away, she coughs and tells the grinning studio pony to sort out the rest. She makes her way into the booth and tries to speak.

“Lyra, that was... I don’t even...”

Lyra shrugs and pouts slightly.

“Eh, sorry about that. I’ve been thinking about a lot lately and I haven’t really been on my game.”

Bon-Bon is stunned. What she has just heard, she is certain she will never be able to describe in words. And Lyra is saying that she’s having an off-day. The unexpected virtuoso jumps up from her chair and motions for Bon-Bon to follow her.

“Come on, let’s go get something to eat. I hate all the technical stuff.”

Bon-Bon nods dumbly and follows, mind racing. She took this job because nopony else at the agency had wanted it, saying they “knew the type” and giving each other meaningful glances, and she desperately needed the work after one of her fashion connections had been disgraced, making it necessary to lay low for a while. But it seems she may have gotten a better deal than she had expected.

Lyra is talking about sea ponies again, listing the things about their undersea kingdom of Aquastria that make it “totally awesome”. Bon-Bon is listening a little more closely now, but not that closely. Just as Lyra is describing some sea pony song that she really wants to hear, the ground rumbles.

The two ponies stop, confused. Looking around, they jump as the ground rumbles again, stronger this time. Lyra begins to speak.

“What the hay was th-”

She is interrupted by a tremendous crash as the wide street they are on erupts, sending ponies scurrying. The road splits and a metal shape, almost ten feet tall, bursts into view. It is pony-shaped and gleams in the midday sun, light glinting from the weaponry that adorns its flanks. Bon-Bon is paralysed with fear and, as Lyra yanks at the trembling pony in vain, a voice emerges from the machine.

“Come one, come all! Come witness the amazing power of The Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Before anypony can register what the robotic pony said, it fires its weapons, lances of fire lashing at the surrounding buildings and sending great plumes of flame into the air. Those bystanders that still remain flee, screaming in fear as the rampage begins.

“Tremble before the might of Princess Luna’s favoured servant and prepare yourselves to bow before the Luna Empire!”

Bon-Bon gathers herself and begins to gallop as fast as she can away from the machine but is blocked by dislodged masonry crashing to the ground before her, blocking the street and hemming her in with the mysterious robot. Lyra has vanished.

Suddenly, a green shape leaps onto the robot. With horror, Bon-Bon realises that Lyra has attacked it, prying at its back in an attempt to access the inner workings of the beast. The metal pony begins to buck, attempting to dislodge the unicorn clambering up it. Still in shock, Bon-Bon sees that Lyra is wearing some sort of costume. Before she can think any further, the metal pony’s body crackles with electricity and Lyra screams. Thrown from the enemy’s back by a particularly violent thrash, she crashes to the ground beside Bon-Bon. Rushing over, the panicking pony picks Lyra up and bombards her with questions as the lumbering machine collects itself.

“What’s going on?! What’s that robot thing?! Why are you wearing that costume?! What’s going on?!”

Lyra grins and once again seems to be a different pony, a third Lyra to go with Hyperactive Conspiracy Theorist and Serene Genius Harpist. This Lyra is confident, almost aggressive.

“I told you before, didn’t I? I fight crime.”

They are interrupted by the mechanical pony’s voice again.

“Who is so ignorant as to challenge the dominance of The Great and Powerful Trixie? There is no place for insolence in my Lady’s Empire!”

The so-called Lunatron advances, casting a shadow over Bon-Bon and Lyra as it raises its hooves to strike.

Suddenly, the Lunatron halts. Bon-Bon, awaiting the final blow, is surprised when it never comes. She looks around. Not just the Lunatron, but everything has ceased movement entirely. The flames stand still as if they are paper cut-outs, and the fleeing citizens are frozen mid-gallop. There is utter silence. Lyra calls out to the world in general.

“Why has everything stopped?”

Before Bon-Bon can reply, a single tiny point of white light appears in the air before them, then flares brightly. When their eyes recover, a sphere of the same light is hovering a few feet above the ground. A voice emerges, urbane and with an undercurrent of disdain.

“My my my, this isn’t turning out well.”

Bon-Bon and Lyra jump in surprise. First the Lunatron, then time seemingly stopping, and now this. Bon-Bon hesitantly asks,

“Who... what are you?”

The sphere bobs in the air and somehow gives the overwhelming impression of a shrug.

“Oh, no one important. Well, that’s a lie. I’m very important, very important indeed. But, you see, so are you, my little ponies.”

Lyra narrows her eyes.

“Us? What are you talking about, light bulb?”

The sphere moves closer, glowing brighter as the voice grows more excited.

“I’m talking about this whole business with the robot! I mean, look at that thing! Doesn’t it just make you, ooh, terrified? I would be. Of course, any pony worth their salt would be asking ‘But why now? Why me?’ But I suppose you’re not quite there yet.”

It backs off, dimming again.

“So, I’m going to help you out. Make a few changes, give you a little pizazz. You’ll thank me for it later, even if things do get a little chaotic.”

The sphere suddenly expands, engulfing the two ponies. A strange feeling wells up in Bon-Bon, a feeling of great power. Every sense heightens, every limb feels stronger. Even her mind seems to work a little faster. As swiftly as it had grown, the sphere contracts to its original size and Lyra and Bon-Bon step back, dazzled by the transformation they have just undergone. The voice laughs.

“Oh, that was fun! It’s been so long since I actually did anything, I’d almost forgotten what it felt like!”

The light begins to dim, the sphere shrinking to the point of light it had originally grown from.

“Well, that’s me for now! You’ll see me again, don’t worry. Just remember, when the night seems set to last forever, take a leap of faith! It’ll be fun, I guarantee! Until next time, Harpflank and Sweets!”

With another flash, the light is gone. Lyra turns to Bon-Bon and shouts her name, voice somehow clearer and louder than it has been until now.

“BB! Hey, BB! Yeesh, it’s like talking to a rock.”

Scene 2

Bon-Bon awoke with a start as Lyra’s hoof impacted with her forehead.

“Hey, you’re awake! Man, you sleep like nopony else I know.”

Bon-Bon pushed Lyra away and rubbed her eyes blearily.

“What are you doing in my house, Lyra? What are you doing in my bedroom?”

Lyra looked at her flatly.

“I’m waking you up. It’s that time of the week again.”

Bon-Bon facehoofed as the wisps of the memory-filled dream drifted away and she realised her mistake.

“Ugh, I’m sorry. The agency’s been running me ragged lately. Ever since I agreed to go back to work, they’ve been dumping everything on me. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Once Bon-Bon had roused herself, the two left in silence. Neither said a word as they walked the streets of Metropony. The city was thriving in the Empire’s absence, with the year of peace giving it time to develop without being knocked back by rampaging metal juggernauts on a weekly basis.

At last they reached their destination, the gates of the cemetery looming over them. Entering, they followed the path they had followed every week for the past year. The grave it led to was set apart from the main plot and looked well-maintained, stone smooth and polished. A battered hat covered in stars rested almost jauntily atop it, the last remnant of The Great and Powerful Trixie. Bon-Bon pulled a bouquet from her bag and laid it respectfully at the foot of the headstone. Lyra sighed.

“It’s been a year. It still sucks.”

Bon-Bon nodded solemnly.

“Trixie deserved better. If we’d only known about the Elements of Harmony and what they could do, perhaps we could have avoided this.”

“Not just the Elements. Luna messed her up somehow, and we just made it worse.”

They stared at the grave for a while, lost in thought, as they did every week. And, as usual, Bon-Bon’s communicator bleeped insistently. Digging it out, she activated it and Vinyl Scratch’s voice addressed them.

“Hey guys. You, uh, all finished? We’ve got something. My research on the Elements has finally turned up something and its... kinda big. You need to get down to ExTech right away.”

Bon-Bon and Lyra nodded to each other and Bon-Bon replied,

“Roger, Vinyl. We’re on our way.”

They stood for another moment, paying their respects to the friend they had never made, then left for the base.

Scene 3

The thick metal door of ExTech’s Head Office muffled the sounds of the lab’s activity as Lyra and Bon-Bon settled into chairs and Vinyl paced the room. Octavia sat at her terminal array, continuing her work as Vinyl began to speak.

“Okay, so I’ve spent the last year researching the Elements of Harmony. It’s been way harder than I thought.”

Her horn flared and a book flew across the room to hover in front of Lyra and Bon-Bon. The cover was thick and featured an embossed golden unicorn’s head. The pages, of which many had been torn out, began to turn until they showed a collection of six gems.

“This is literally all I’ve been able to find. Hey, even half of this book is missing. These are the Elements of Harmony. Seems they sometimes take corporeal form, but that’s not important. What’s important is that somepony is hosting their essence. But here’s the real kicker.”

She stopped pacing and gave the two heroes possibly the most serious look they had ever seen on her face.

“We only have five.”

There was a shocked silence. Octavia turned her chair to face them, disapproval clear on her face.

“You didn’t say anything about this to me, Vinyl.”

Vinyl nodded apologetically.

“I wanted to make sure of it first. And I figured it was best if I tell you guys first so we can decide how we put this to the Commander.”

Lyra spoke up.

“Wait, we only have five? But there were six of us in that big... friendship... rainbow beam thing. Me, BB, you, Tavi, Derpy and Redheart. Six ponies, six Elements, right?”

Vinyl shook her head and moved to Octavia’s keyboard, tapping a few keys and bringing up a barely comprehensible diagram covered in lines of varying colours.

“Nope. I’ve managed to isolate the Elements’ magical waveform from the tests we’ve put you through over the last year, and cross-referenced it with the data we got from Celestia Tower during the battle. See these lines? Each colour represents the energy from an Element, and this shows where it was coming from.”

Bon-Bon and Lyra studied the mass of colour. Bon-Bon, quicker on the uptake, realised it first and gasped.

“That... can’t be right.”

Lyra looked at her friend in confusion.

“What? What am I missing?”

With a single keystroke Vinyl zoomed in on the relevant section of graph.

“That’s right. Don’t ask me how it works, but... You’re both the Element of Loyalty. Somehow, the two of you are so in sync that the power is shared across you equally.”

Bon-Bon raised a hoof to her chin in thought as Lyra stared in surprise.

“So, where’s the sixth? And why were we able to do what we did if we don’t have every Element?”

Vinyl shrugged, worry evident on her face.

“That’s just it. I have no idea. Somehow, Celestia Tower acted as a conduit for the energy we were pumping out and focused it. And that’s where it gets even weirder.”

She brought the book back into play, flicking through the pages quickly until she found the one she was looking for and turning it to face Lyra and Bon-Bon.

“Look at this.”

On the page was a stylised drawing of the Princess Celestia and... It looked somewhat like Luna, but larger-than-life. Her horn was longer and more pointed, Her wings more daunting, and She was wearing a suit of cruel-looking armour.

“This, apparently, is ‘Nightmare Moon’. This is the only reference I’ve been able to find anywhere and, look, even this page only just escaped.”

She pointed to a long rip in the page near the binding.

“Anyway, all I can gather from what’s here is that Nightmare Moon threatened the world major-style and Celestia banished her to the moon using the Elements. I think that’s why the Tower was able to help us like it did. There’s always been urban myths that Celestia or the Six somehow infused it with Her power back when Metropony was built, and Celestia could use the Elements independently without playing host. We could never find anything, but I guess this is our proof.”

Lyra raised a hoof.

“I have a question. Is that what happened to Trixie?”

Vinyl blinked, surprised at Lyra’s insight.

“That’s what I was thinking. But not exactly. I think the Elements tried to do something, but couldn’t manage it without all six.”

Bon-Bon’s mouth dropped open in realisation.

“You mean... what happened to Trixie could have been avoided?”

Vinyl sighed.

“Looks like. The Tower had enough power to let the Elements act as a unit but not enough to stand in for the final Element itself.”

She snapped the book shut and laid it back down.

“So, to recap: You two have one Element split between two ponies. The Elements are in some way related to this Nightmare Moon, but something or somepony seems to have removed every trace they can of her existence. Celestia Tower is connected somehow, but that connection is hidden so well that we’d never seen even a hint of it until a year ago, despite all the... work we’ve been doing there lately. And, finally, we still don’t know what the sixth Element is or who holds it.”

She grinned, her love of mystery overtaking her worry at the mystery itself.

“It’s all starting to get interesting. This last year’s been pretty quiet.”

Bon-Bon sat pensively as Lyra moved to study the graph more closely. A thought struck her.

“Wait a moment. You said ‘something or somepony’. You think there might be somepony behind this?”

Vinyl shifted uncomfortably, as if realising she’d maybe said too much.

“Well... Look, Metropony is old. We don’t even know how old. The more I research, the more I realise our history is full of holes. With Luna and all, the city’s been kind of living in the present, but...”

She drew herself up, looking serious again. Her voice lowered and took on a conspiratorial edge.

“There’s gaps everywhere. For hundreds of years. If anypony were to actually look it up, all they’d find is that Metropony used to be some village that sold a lot of apples way back when. So far as our records are concerned, we just... exist. And the only ponies I can think of who’d have the ability to affect such a massive cover-up would be either a organisation like us or...”

Lyra finished the sentence with an edge in her voice as even she quickly grasped the implications of what Vinyl was suggesting.

“The Princesses. And Luna’s been underground for years.”

Vinyl opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a sound that they had not heard for a year, a sound that sent chills through everypony present.

The Lunatron alarm.

Scene 4

Lyra and Bon-Bon stared from their rooftop vantage point, eyes wide. Lyra let out a low whistle.

“Where does She find these things?”

Bon-Bon nodded slowly, unable to tear her eyes from the sight below.

“I think we know what the Empire’s been up to this past year.”

The huge plaza around Celestia Tower was filled with Lunatrons. Hundreds of pony-sized robots crowded the grounds of the colossal white spire, all facing the Tower but unmoving. The citizenry had fled before the sea of metal, and the area was eerily silent. The sun gleamed from the Lunatrons’ flanks, almost blinding the two heroes as their minds struggled to encompass the scale of this new threat. Bon-Bon reached for her communicator and flicked the switch.

“Commander, we’re going to need a full mobilisation.”

Derpy’s voice was incredulous.

“You’re going to need a what?”

“You heard, sir. The situation here is... indescribable.”

The sound of Derpy’s door hissing open emerged from the communicator and was followed by the voice of a breathless Vinyl Scratch.

“Commander... you’ve... gotta see this... so many...”

There was a pause during which Bon-Bon presumed Vinyl was showing the Commander her scans of the area.

“Celestia help us... Roger, Bon-Bon. We’ve got your back. Stay low until we arrive.”

“Roger.”

Bon-Bon deactivated the device and placed it back in her bag, turning as Lyra tapped her shoulder urgently.

“Uh, BB, I don’t want to worry you, but I think Luna’s upgraded the bots.”

Following Lyra’s gaze, Bon-Bon squinted across the distance. Several Lunatrons were beginning to turn in their direction, various scanning apparatus adorning them having apparently homed in on her signal. In unnerving synchronisation, the hundreds-strong crowd swivelled, the sound of their metal hooves like thunder in the silence. The two ponies tensed.

“Yeah, now would be a good time to move.”

As one, the Lunatrons opened fire with a hail of flame. Uncountable beams of searing plasma erupted from the plaza and flew towards them, some merging in the air to form larger fireballs that crackled with deadly energy. Lyra and Bon-Bon leapt from the roof and the storm of destruction barely missed them, reducing the rooftop to ashes along with a large chunk of the rest of the building. Bracing themselves, the two ponies hit the ground with a force that made the street buckle. They swiftly recovered and Lyra called to Bon-Bon before galloping straight at the robotic army.

“We gotta get close, BB, no way we can dodge that much fire!”

Bon-Bon followed her partner at speed, grudgingly agreeing. This had gone very wrong, very fast. Their recon had become a full-on hoof-to-hoof battle with more Lunatrons than they could count. Ahead, Lyra jumped high in the air, soaring into the mass of metal and disappearing amongst them. Within moments, however, pieces of Lunatron began flying out of the crowd accompanied by the crash of hoof on metal and Lyra’s battle cries.

Bon-Bon followed her partner’s lead, leaping to Lyra’s side and joining the fight. The Lunatrons, while seeming to have no sense of self-preservation, seemed reluctant to fire their ranged weaponry when there was a chance another may be hit, and their close combat programming apparently consisted of “1. Slice with blades, 2. ????, 3. Profit.” The ponies’ greatest disadvantage, the army’s vast numbers, was turning in their favour.

The battle raged on. Lyra fought with a combination of martial arts and sheer aggression, ripping Lunatrons apart with both brute force and deft precision. A bladed hoof swung down at her and she caught it between her forelegs, tearing it free from the Lunatron that had attacked her and wielding it as a makeshift sword, decapitating another three robots in one swipe. As another two moved in to attack, she deftly blocked their clumsy strikes with her new weapon and bucked both of them into another pair behind her, all four exploding in plumes of dark blue smoke.

The smoke was dispersed by Bon-Bon leaping through it, gracefully dodging the attacks of the metallic ponies that surrounded them. Where Lyra battled with power, taking hits head on and turning them against her attackers, Bon-Bon ducked and dived in a deadly dance, never placing herself in a position in which an attack could successfully reach her. A Lunatron thrust its blades at her, the razor appendages slicing deep into another robot’s neck as it became apparent that Bon-Bon was already behind it. Pulling her grapnel gun from her pack, she fired it into the chest of a nearby Lunatron then tossed the gun to Lyra, calling to her partner over the crash of tearing metal.

“Lyra! Present for you!”

Lyra sliced the legs from under the nearest Lunatron and turned to catch the gun in her mouth. Ducking more fumbling robotic attackers, Lyra wrenched the wire to the side, swinging the captured Lunatron in a great circle. The nigh-indestructible monofilament sliced through the mass of robots at chest height, reducing them to scrap in an instant and clearing Lyra and Bon-Bon tens of feet of valuable breathing room. But still the metal army stretched into the distance, marching in perfect time as they advanced on the tiring heroes. Lyra dropped her impromptu wrecking ball and groaned.

“BB, I don’t know if we can do this.”

As Bon-Bon opened her mouth to reply, she heard a familiar sound. She smiled.

“Looks like we won’t have to.”

The two heroes looked up to see the forces of M.A.R.E. descend. Helicopters full of armoured ponies fired missiles into the mass of Lunatrons around them, precision targeting ensuring the safety of Lyra and Bon-Bon. Pegasus snipers swooped into position on the surrounding rooftops and began to unload shot after shot into the ranks of the Lunatron army, shattering the glowing orbs that powered them. The helicopters touched down in the spaces cleared by their heavy munitions and the ponies within leapt to the ground, swiftly and efficiently forming firing lines and activating quick-release barricades to protect them from the Lunatron’s return fire. The rattle of assault rifles and the crackle of plasma filled the air as the two forces brought everything they had to bear.

Almost as soon as it had begun, the destruction was over. M.A.R.E.’s assault had been unexpected and lightning-fast; the Lunatrons had never stood a chance. Lyra and Bon-Bon stepped gingerly through the wreckage to the sizable VTOL craft that served as Derpy’s command transport, known as The Mailbox because every message in the organisation passed through its servers. Though the Commander could of course fly, the Mailbox was filled with enough monitoring technology to make Vinyl squee and boasted a custom mount for her enormous magical rifle, Bubbles.

As they entered the vicinity of the craft, Derpy waved from behind Bubbles’ sights.

“Lyra! Bon-Bon! Glad to see you’re alright. We sure showed those Lunatrons, huh? Didn’t even have to fire my baby.”

The two heroes saluted, a gesture which the Commander returned inexpertly, catching her hoof in the cables that surrounded her rifle and having to use the other foreleg. Bon-Bon rolled her eyes as Lyra began to speak.

“That was awesome, Commander. I gotta admit, I may have entertained us being doomed for a minute.”

Derpy smiled, eyes practically spinning with pride in the ponies under her command.

“Well, we couldn’t let you have all the fun. It’s been a long time since we’ve done anything but sit around at base.”

Her face became more serious.

“But no matter how well we handled this, the fact remains that it happened at all. We’ve grown complacent this past year, and obviously Luna is still a potent threat. There’s never been an attack on this scale before, and since we cleared out Luna’s last base we have no idea where Luna might be. The game has changed again, and I do-”

She was interrupted by a crash of thunder. Whirling around, Lyra and Bon-Bon turned to face the direction of the sound. The forces of M.A.R.E. milled about in confusion as black clouds raced across the sky from nowhere, covering the sun and plunging the recent battlefield into darkness. A deep laugh erupted from the very air itself and another thunderclap ripped through the midday night as a bolt of lightning flashed from the sky, arcing to the ground in the centre of the plaza and blasting a crater in the shadowed paving. The assembled ponies stood in shock as the smoke dissipated to reveal a figure that sent jolts of fear through everypony present.

“THE GAME HAS CHANGED, LITTLE PEGASUS. AND WE CAN BOTH WIN.”

Scene 5

Standing before them, proud and terrible, was Princess Luna. Her mane and tail blazed with the light of the moon and stars, and Her wings flexed as She laughed again.

“GREETINGS, PONIES OF M.A.R.E.. ARE YOU SURPRISED TO SEE YOUR PRINCESS?”

Derpy’s forces cowered before the awesome presence of the Princess, Her power radiating from Her with an almost physical force. She turned to face Lyra, Bon-Bon and Derpy, who had already recovered and were standing ready to fight, visibly resisting the magic crackling in the air.

“AND HERE ARE THREE BEARERS OF THE ELEMENTS! SUCH LUCK! WE HAD HOPED MERELY TO FIND YOU, HARPFLANK AND SWEETS.”

Lyra shouted above the rolling thunder still clamouring in the clouds above, body trembling with anger.

“You’ve destroyed enough, Luna! This time we stop you! You think you can take on the whole of M.A.R.E. by yourself?”

The Princess laughed again, tossing Her shining mane arrogantly.

“‘TAKE ON?’ WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE ARE HERE TO FIGHT?”

Lyra looked taken aback by Luna’s words. Bon-Bon spoke up questioningly, voice edged with suspicion.

“What are you talking about, Luna? If you’re not here to fight, what are you here for?”

Luna looked down Her nose at the ponies surrounding her as She formulated her answer. The words She spoke next threw everypony present off-balance.

“WE HAVE COME TO NEGOTIATE.”

Derpy’s eyes were straight as an arrow, focused on the Princess as she took charge of the situation.

“Stand down, Lyra, Bon-Bon. This is a diplomatic matter now.”

Lyra raised her voice in protest.

“But Commander, it’s Luna, we-”

Derpy cut her off with a sharp tone.

“Now, Lyra.”

Lyra glared at her, then stepped back. Derpy flapped her wings, hovering forward until she was only a few feet from Luna, eyes level with the Princess’. The enmity between the two ponies was palpable. For years, Luna had endangered the city that Derpy saw as her charge. And every time She had, the organised family that Derpy had created had ruined the Princess’ plans. Several ponies relating the incident later swore they saw sparks leap between the two as they spoke.

“Okay, Princess. We’re listening.”

Luna got to the point immediately, voice slipping easily into a charismatic cadence that reminded everypony present that, evil or no, this was still their Princess of the Night, with all the power and personality that entailed.

“WE SHALL BE BRIEF. WE TIRE OF THIS ENDLESS BATTLE.”

Lyra muttered under her breath.

“You and us both, siste-”

She was rewarded with a slap to the head from Bon-Bon, whose eyes were rapt as she watched the vanguards of the war for Metropony talk face-to-face for the first time.

“THIS... AFFAIR BEGAN BECAUSE WE SOUGHT TO ASSUME CONTROL OF OUR SISTER’S EMPIRE. WE THOUGHT AT FIRST TO CHANGE THE HEARTS OF PONIES THROUGH FORCE. IT IS CLEAR NOW THAT WE WERE WRONG.”

Derpy eyed the Princess, searching Her face for signs of duplicity. Luna continued.

“AN EMPIRE STOLEN IS STILL AN EMPIRE. CELESTIA’S LIES HAVE IRREVOCABLY DAMAGED PONY SOCIETY, AND THERE IS BUT ONE RECOURSE LEFT TO US.”

Luna drew Herself to her full height, looming over the ponies around Her at full regal stature, and Her next pronouncement echoed across the city.

“WE ARE TO CREATE A NEW NATION. A NEW LUNAR REPUBLIC. AND WE WISH TO DO SO IN PEACE.”

There was a deep and pregnant silence. It was clear to everypony that this was a moment that would live in history, that would change everything. Derpy continued to meet Luna’s gaze impassively.

The world held its breath.

Finally, slowly, the Commander spoke a single word.

“Explain.”

Luna smiled and began to pace back and forth as She put forth her plan.

“WE SHALL LEAVE FOR THE MOON, TAKING ANYPONY WHO WISHES TO FOLLOW. THERE, WE WILL BUILD A NEW SOCIETY, UNFETTERED BY THE MACHINATIONS OF MY SISTER. AT FIRST, WE SHALL RULE, THAT GROWTH MAY BE MAINTAINED. HOWEVER WE WILL LATER STEP DOWN AND LEADERS WILL BE ELECTED BY THE POPULACE. UNLIKE OUR SISTER, WE BELIEVE THAT PONIES CAN LEAD THEMSELVES.”

The forces of M.A.R.E. were whispering amongst themselves now as the Princess’s words washed over them. There was as yet no assent, but several discussions had grown heated. Luna came to a halt before Derpy and met her gaze again.

“SO, LEADER OF M.A.R.E.. WHAT IS YOUR RESPONSE? DO NOT REQUEST A CONSULTATION WITH CELESTIA. SHE CANNOT BE TRUSTED.”

Derpy continued to hover in front of the Princess. She cast a glance about her forces. The talking had died down now and everypony looked at their commander. Their leader. Their friend.

She landed gently, hooves making no sound as she dropped to the ground. She began to turn, meeting the eyes of each and every pony there one by one. She made a full circle, drinking in the connection she shared with the ponies present and the trials they had shared together as an organisation. As her eyes met Lyra and Bon-Bon’s, something within their souls resonated. They smiled at her, silently endorsing the decision they now knew was coming.

At last she faced Luna once more. She looked up into the Princess’ eyes, then closed her own. She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

Her eyes opened once more, gaze straight and true.

And she gave her answer.

“No.”

Scene 5

Luna blinked.

“WHAT?”

Derpy leapt back in to the air, wings beating furiously.

“I said no! I deny your peace offering, as does every pony here!”

Luna’s magic erupted forth, engulfing Her in starlight as She raged.

“WHY?! WHAT POSSIBLE REASON COULD YOU HAVE?!”

Derpy narrowed her eyes and raised her hoof to the sky.

“Because you are not Princess Luna of the Night. You are Nightmare Moon, The Mare In The Moon!”

She brought her hoof down and, as if at her signal, Celestia Tower blazed into light, dispelling the clouds that blocked the sun and bringing brilliant light down upon the massed ponies of M.A.R.E.. The Princess screamed as She cowered from the sun’s glare, an unearthly scream that resonated with power.

“NO! HOW DID YOU KNOW?! HOW COULD YOU KNOW?!”

Derpy brought a hoof to her chest.

“Because of the Element of Harmony I bear.”

Luna’s eyes widened at the mention of the Elements, fear creeping into her expression. Derpy continued, filled with conviction.

“It has spoken to me, revealed everything I needed to know. Your deception was great, Nightmare Moon, but it lasts no longer! I don’t know what you planned to do with our consent, but we, the Elements of Harmony and the forces of M.A.R.E. deny it! Though we stand divided now, the sixth lost to us, know that whenever you threaten our city, threaten our way of life, threaten our friendship, we will be there to fight you with everything we have!”

The Commander began to glow with the power of her Element, a gentle light emerging from her body. The ponies of M.A.R.E. unanimously stood at attention and saluted their Commander, the stamp of their hooves louder even than the thunder that had until so recently raged above. Her force of will dispelled their doubts and raised their spirits. Her voice returned to its normal tone, bright and cheerful.

“You will be banished, Nightmare Moon. And we’ll get our Princess back.”

The light surrounding her flared like the sun, and Luna shrank back. Her outline seemed to fade, and for a moment it looked almost as if two ponies occupied the same space. There was an indescribable noise as the glamour surrounding her shattered, and her true form was revealed, armour gleaming in the sunlight and horn long and cruel.

Nightmare Moon.

Recovering from the magical assault, the mighty alicorn stood tall. Her voice rang out across the city and she blazed with awesome and unholy power.

“VERY WELL. IF YOU WILL NOT DIE WILLINGLY, YOU SHALL DIE IMMEDIATELY.”

The impossible darklight glow of her magic suffused the wreckage of the Lunatrons that coated the ground of the plaza. The air filled with hideous clanks and groans as the heaps of metal spiralled into the air, crashing together and blending into each other. Derpy waved a hoof urgently to order a retreat, playing it safe in the face of the Mare In The Moon herself. Her forces scattered as the mass of metal grew and grew, slowly taking shape. The plaza was clear of ponies by the time it had finished, save for Lyra and Bon-Bon, who had shooed the Commander into the Mailbox and insisted she leave despite her protests. After her inspiring reveal of Nightmare Moon, it was clear that the city would need her more than ever and she couldn’t afford to stay on the front line.

Their necks craned upwards as the destroyed army coalesced into the greatest Lunatron they had yet seen, dwarfing even Trixie’s final creation. Great metal wings and a vicious horn graced the metal beast, and they realised with terror that Nightmare Moon had created a robot worthy of her cosmic power.

Nightmare Moon laughed triumphantly and mocked the two stunned ponies.

“DO YOU NOT SEE? THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STAND BEFORE ME! THE GAME ENDS NOW, PATHETIC ‘HEROES!’”

In a flash of magic, she vanished and reappeared atop the colossal robotic alicorn.

Lyra and Bon-Bon looked at each other helplessly. Their noble gesture of staying behind to cover M.A.R.E.’s escape seemed futile before such power. Bon-Bon’s communicator crackled into life unexpectedly. Vinyl’s voice burst from the device, the specialist almost breathless with excitement.

“Oh man, oh man, I have been waiting for this!”

Lyra, unable to believe what she was hearing, grabbed the communicator and yelled back.

“What the hay are you talking about?! You’ve got that thing on monitors, right?! Look at it! And it’s being controlled by Nightmare Moon! It’s like a... a... a Moonatron!”

Vinyl’s reply was impossibly smug.

“I see it. And I know we can beat it. Feast your eyes, my little ponies. Feast. Your. Eyes.”

The metal alicorn took a single step towards the heroes, ground rumbling beneath its mighty hooves as Nightmare Moon laughed from her perch. But when the shaking should have stopped, it continued. Bon-Bon, Lyra and even Nightmare Moon looked around in confusion. It was Lyra who noticed it first, raising a hoof wordlessly to point at Celestia Tower.

The tower was opening. Huge plates of white metal unfurled, revealing the massive girders that supported the vast structure. These too began to move, grinding ponderously along as their vast weight struggled against the mechanics and magic that drove their movement. As they moved, still supporting the tower as they moved to their new positions, it became apparent that a section of the building almost as tall as the Moonatron was hollow. Bon-Bon’s mouth dropped open as what lay within became clear.

“It’s... a hangar.”

The rumbling stopped, and Vinyl and Octavia’s ultimate project was revealed. Within Celestia Tower’s base lay a vast gantry, in which stood a pony-shaped robot that rivalled Nightmare Moon’s in size. It was painted the same grey as Octavia’s coat, with thick black armour around the chest and legs. A crimson V adorned its chest, and where its cutie mark would be was emblazoned a huge stylised “Z”.

Lyra’s face was a picture of delight.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Is that ours?!”

Vinyl’s voice was triumphant.

“Isn’t it AWESOME?! We’ve been working on this ever since we finished the nanosuits! Tavi, you’re up!”

The signal crackled as Vinyl passed the communicator to Octavia. Bon-Bon was hardly listening now, dumbstruck by the scale of the specialists’ work, but was still amazed to hear Octavia exclaiming,

“Behold! We have spent years creating this unsinkable castle of steel! Fearing none, thwarted by none; even if it is encircled by a thousand foes, its invincible body protects it from any number of attacks! Its name is... ”

Lyra pressed her face to the communicator, desperate for more.

“Its name is?!”

Nightmare Moon glared at the robot with disdain.

“ITS NAME IS?”

Octavia and Vinyl’s voices rang from the communicator louder than Bon-Bon had thought possible, echoing throughout the plaza. The two chorused the name of their greatest work in tandem.

“TAVINGER Z!”

A flare of magic enveloped Lyra and Bon-Bon and they suddenly found themselves in a tight cockpit, myriad levers, buttons and screens before them.

“Downloading piloting instructions now!”

Vinyl’s voice now emerged from a speaker above them as two helmets extended from the cockpit’s ceiling and clamped themselves onto Lyra and Bon-Bon’s heads. With a jolt and a surge of energy, the two ponies felt knowledge flood their minds. Schematics, training, everything they needed to pilot their vehicle as if they’d been born knowing how. In unison they placed their hooves at the controls. Lyra grinned as the Moonatron on the viewscreen turned to face them.

“It. Is. On.”

Scene 6

The two colossi faced each other across the city, as did their pilots. With steps that shook the city, they began to move. The walked slowly at first but with every step they picked up speed, until both of the mechanical beasts were galloping full tilt. The Moonatron lowered its head and brought its horn to bear, aiming to spear Tavinger with the vast weapon. Its alicorn creator stood proudly atop it as she assured herself that no Equestrian technology could stand against her.

At the last second, Tavinger ponderously dodged to the side, wrapping its foreleg around the Moonatron’s neck as it passed. With an almighty groan of straining metal, the black-carapaced pony heaved upwards, kicking off the ground with its remaining hoof with the aid of the Moonatron’s momentum. The Moonatron was lifted into the air, eclipsing the sun briefly as Tavinger stood on its hind legs with the enemy in its grasp. Nightmare Moon cried out in surprise at the relative nimbleness of her enemies’ machine, teleporting to a nearby rooftop in a wisp of purple mist.

At last the two machines fell. Lyra and Bon-Bon’s robotic steed threw itself backwards, putting all of its weight into the meteoric suplex. The Moonatron hit the ground with the force of ten megacellos, creating a shockwave that shattered every window in the city and forced the entire plaza several feet into the ground. As the vast cloud of dust cleared, the two robots picked themselves up, the Moonatron staggering as it struggled to cope with the damage to its systems.

Nightmare Moon shone with power, screaming,

“SO, YOU ARE FAST! BUT CAN YOU DODGE THIS?!”

The Moonatron’s wings transformed into two enormous plasma cannons that belched purple fire at Tavinger Z, the huge balls of flame writhing in the air to take the shape of a roaring dragon. The heroic machine braced itself and took the impact head-on, engulfed in the searing heat. But Vinyl and Octavia had learned from their years matching Lunatron science, and the armour’s special coating protected it from the terrible weapons. Lyra’s voice boomed from the robot’s speakers.

“Is that all you got? Guess we’ll finish this quickly! ROCKET HOOVES, FIRE!”

As she shouted the last, great gouts of flame began to erupt from Tavinger’s knees, and the mighty metal pony reared. As it reached its full height its two front hooves burst forth, careening through the air towards the stumbling Moonatron, trailing smoke and fire. Replacement hooves clanked into place from the stumps of its forelegs and Tavinger crashed back to a standing position as its jet-powered limbs raced at the Moonatron.

The metal alicorn tried to leap from the rocket hooves’ path, but it was too slow and too damaged. First, one smashed into its chest, leaving a gaping hole that sparked and spat flame as the projectile lodged itself deep in the Moonatron’s innards and exploded. The second hoof angled upwards at the last moment, smashing into its chin with incalculable force. The impact tore the robot’s head from its neck and sent it spinning into the sky. It detonated in a huge purple fireball as the rocket hoof self-destructed. The twin explosions made light and shadow dance across Tavinger Z as it towered above the wreckage, victorious.

The moment was ruined by Lyra gloating over the loudspeaker.

“Yes! Take that, Moonatron! What’s scattered across the city and clueless? YOUR FACE!”

Bon-Bon’s voice cut off her partner’s, calling Nightmare Moon out as they turned Tavinger to face her. The alicorn was quivering in fury, enraged that she could be withstood by nothing more than two ponies in a skyscraper-sized robot.

“We win, Nightmare Moon. Surrender and we promise to treat you with respect and kindness, despite your crimes.”

Nightmare Moon sniffed and her magic began to radiate from her again.

“FOOLS! WIN? YOU HAVE MERELY DELAYED YOUR OWN DEMISE! MY POWER IS INFINITE!”

Lyra and Bon-Bon watched in shock as the black light suffused the wreckage of the Moonatron. Great chunks of metal rolled across the city to pool together in the plaza, then rise and form the Moonatron a second time. Pristine, as if the recent battle had never occurred, it roared a guttural, strangely organic roar as Nightmare Moon’s unholy power gave it something approximating life. Nightmare Moon began to cackle.

“YOU SEE, HARPFLANK AND SWEETS? ALL YOU MAY DO IS RAIL AGAINST YOUR FATE TO NO AVAIL!”

The Moonatron leapt forward, faster than it had been before, and swiped its wings, now edged with blades, at Tavinger Z. The pilots tried to dodge, but their speed had been matched. As their robot leapt to the side, the slicing metal feathers removed its back legs and it crashed to the floor, an avalanche of metal rolling across the enormous square.

Lyra and Bon-Bon wrestled with the controls as the Moonatron stalked closer, wings raised to strike. Tavinger Z struggled to regain its balance, but could only bring itself to a sitting position, resting on its metal haunches as their giant foe moved in for the kill. Nightmare Moon’s laughter rang in their ears.

“NOW, AT LAST, IT ENDS! WITH YOUR DEATHS, I AM FREE OF HIS INFLUENCE AND CAN DO WITH THIS WORLD AS I PLEASE! DIE, HARPFLANK AND SWEETS! DIE, THAT THE NIGHT MAY LAST FOREVER!”

The Moonatron’s wings drew back, lining up to sever Tavinger’s head from its shoulders, and Nightmare Moon’s face was a mask of glee. There was a moment of silence as the villainous alicorn savoured her victory.

The Moonatron struck, blades scything down.

“Wait!”

Across the battlefield, littered with metal, rubble and ash, a voice rang clear and strong. The Moonatron ceased its attack as its limited intelligence struggled to process the development, and Nightmare Moon frantically looked about the square from her vantage point, trying to pinpoint the origin of the voice.

Suddenly, atop Tavinger Z’s head, a puff of smoke burst into existence, accompanied by popping fireworks. The voice cried out again, coming from within the smoke.

“Nightmare Moon! Your plans end here! For too long you have endangered the ponies of this city and this world! It’s high time you were stopped!”

Nightmare Moon reared in fury, darklight streaming from her.

“WHO DARES INTERRUPT MY CONQUEST?!”

Lyra and Bon-Bon watched the scene unfold on their viewscreens in stunned silence. Before their eyes, the blue smoke began to clear and an outline began to form. The two heroes gasped as the smoke cleared fully and the light of the sun shone down on the newcomer, bathing them in radiance.

A blue unicorn stood on her hind legs, forelegs spread wide dramatically. She wore a flowing cape and a tall wizard’s hat, both purple and dotted with stars. A large gem affixed the cape across her chest, gleaming in the sun. Bon-Bon found her voice first, barely able to speak as a mixture of surprise, confusion and delight filled her.

“It can’t be. You’re... you’re alive?”

The Great and Powerful Trixie dropped to all fours. She swished her cloak, tipped her hat and gave a theatrical bow. As she came out of the bow and her face became visible onscreen again, she smiled with the self-assurance and showmanship that Lyra and Bon-Bon knew so well.

“Was there ever any doubt?”

INTERMISSION

Why not buy some snacks in the foyer? The feature will resume in 15 minutes.

Harpflank and Sweets: The Movie - Part 2

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The feature will now resume.

Scene 7

The wind whipped at Trixie’s cloak in the aftermath of her dramatic entrance. Lyra’s voice burst from Tavinger’s speakers, thick with surprise.

“Trixie?! But... you’re dead! You died!”

Trixie tossed her mane and dismissed Lyra’s question.

“It’s quite the long story, Harpflank and Sweets! I shall explain when this is over! Follow my lead!”

She leapt high into the space between Tavinger Z and the Moonatron. Before Nightmare Moon or her creation could react, the ground shook and yet another robot burst forth. The equine mecha rose from beneath the ground, as so many of Trixie’s creations had risen before, the cracking of the plaza’s stones throwing the Moonatron off-balance. It stumbled backwards, leaving enough space for the machine to reach its full height.

Coloured the same blue as Trixie’s coat, dotted with stars and bearing her cutie mark on its enormous flanks, the latest arrival in the battle bore a horn that pulsed with arcane energy. Trixie landed on its head as it rose and quickly opened an access hatch, hopping into the machine, and for the first time in a year her magically-enhanced voice boomed out across Metropony.

“Enter Trixer Robo, the most spectacular robot ever witnessed by pony eyes!”

The metallic unicorn reared for effect as she spoke. It occurred to Lyra and Bon-Bon that wherever Trixie had been for the past year, it had done nothing to dull her showpony instincts. Nightmare Moon scoffed at the display.

“PAH! WHAT HAVE I TO FEAR FROM A FOOLISH UNICORN WHO COULD NOT DEFEAT TWO PONIES WITH ALL I GAVE HER?”

Trixer Robo pointed a hoof at the Moonatron and Trixie replied with gusto.

“I am no longer the Trixie you corrupted, Nightmare Moon! I am free of the darkness you planted in my soul! Now you are my enemy, and I shall fight by the side of Lyra and Bon-Bon!”

Even through the distortion of the speakers, the catch in Trixie’s voice was audible.

“By the side of my friends.”

Within the cockpit of Tavinger Z, Lyra and Bon-Bon exchanged wide smiles.

“I guess we’re a dynamic trio now, BB.”

“Let’s do this.”

Where Tavinger’s back legs had been removed by the Moonatron’s vicious blades, the same mechanism that had replaced the rocket hooves kicked into gear. The robot shot back to its hooves as they appeared, and Tavinger took its position beside Trixer Robo. The Moonatron roared as it recovered from its fall. Nightmare Moon’s magical command compelled it to charge, bladed wings outspread to attack both enemies facing it. Trixie addressed her allies with urgency.

“Now! With all your power!”

Within Tavinger’s cockpit, Lyra and Bon-Bon reached in tandem for a huge red lever covered in warning labels and, with concerted effort, yanked it towards them. Tavinger settled into a strong stance and the V across its chest began to hum with energy. At the same time, Trixer Robo’s horn glowed brighter, the blue light deepening and crackling with bursts of electricity as technology and magic mixed. The Moonatron rumbled towards them, the darklight of Nightmare Moon’s power flickering around it, lending it strength.

As it drew closer, Tavinger and Trixer’s weapons continued to charge, thrumming with energy as their generators and pilots fed them with power. Lyra and Bon-Bon pushed buttons and twisted dials, forcing Tavinger Z closer and closer to its maximum destructive potential. Their very seats were vibrating now with the Moonatron’s approach. Both Tavinger’s chest-piece and Trixer’s horn were painful to look at now, shining with accumulated heat.

The Moonatron was only seconds away now. Trixie, Lyra and Bon-Bon’s voices rang out simultaneously.

“Now! TRIXER BEAM!”

“CHEST FIRE!”

Twin waves of energy erupted from the two machines. The Trixie Beam was a thin spear of blue plasma, contrasting the violent orange wave of Tavinger’s Chest Fire. As they raced towards the advancing foe, the two colours entwined and combined, their twin energies forming a raging torrent of destruction that engulfed the Moonatron and halted its charge instantly, hurling it across the square. As it tumbled through the air, the vicious flames tore through the Moonatron’s structure, deconstructing at a subatomic level. By the time it would have reached the ground, the Moonatron was almost completely vapourised, nothing more than dust on the wind.

Nightmare stood stunned at the display of power, gazing in what came close to awe at the twin mecha. They posed triumphantly, sun gleaming from the tip of Trixer Robo’s horn and Tavinger Z’s chest-piece.

“Your move, Nightmare Moon.”

At Trixie’s words, the alicorn scowled.

“YOUR VICTORY HERE MEANS NOTHING, LITTLE PONIES. IF I CANNOT DESTROY YOU HERE, I SHALL MERELY SET MY PLANS INTO MOTION EARLY. ENJOY YOUR TIME WITH YOUR NEW ALLIES, TRIXIE, FOR IT WILL BE SHORT.”

She spat the last with venom and was suffused with the light of her magic. In a flash of darkness, she flew into the sky at impossible speed, blurring into a purple line that reached from the rooftop to the distant reaches of the heavens. The roar of her ascent faded into silence.

The battle, at last, was over.

Scene 8

The atmosphere in the briefing room was painfully tense.

Derpy sat in her Commander’s chair at the head of the conference table, beneath a huge viewscreen that covered one wall. To her left sat Trixie, reclining nonchalantly in her chair as she faced the ponies that sat opposite her. Along the other side of the table were the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Lyra and Bon-Bon were perched nervously on the edge of their seats, unsure of how the meeting would progress. Vinyl Scratch glared at Trixie with undisguised distaste, face-to-face with her technological rival at last. Octavia and Redheart’s expressions were, as ever, unreadable. Vinyl broke the silence first.

“So, what, you’re a good guy now?”

Trixie leaned forward and smiled with infuriating smugness.

“Yes, Vinyl Scratch. I am, as you put it, a good guy now.”

Her face softened and she looked down as she added,

“And I have both explanations and... apologies to make.”

Vinyl looked taken aback by Trixie’s sudden abashedness. Derpy took control of the discussion.

“Okay, we’ve all got a lot to say. Trixie, we spent years in conflict and now all of a sudden here you helping us out of the blue. We’ve taken a huge risk letting you in, and I think we deserve to know your story.”

Trixie nodded, surprised at Derpy’s calm tones. Since Nightmare Moon’s unveiling, a change had come over the Commander. M.A.R.E. clerks had been stunned to discover, within hours of the armed wing’s retreat, the organisation’s entire backlog of paperwork complete and correctly filed. Sweeping changes had been made to operations around the city, increasing efficiency and security twofold. It was if she the Element she bore had somehow... focused her, magically aiding her to be the commander she had always been ready to be.

“Thank you, Commander.”

Trixie stood up and pointed to the gem that affixed her cloak with a flourish. Her next pronouncement, however, was surprisingly humble.

“I suppose the first thing I should say is that I hold the Element of Magic.”

They all gasped on cue, causing the faintest hints of a smile to twitch at the corners of Trixie’s mouth. The effect was ruined by Vinyl slamming her hoof on the table in realisation.

“That’s it!”

She leapt up and began to tap at the viewscreen’s keyboard, bringing up the readouts from Trixie’s defeat again. Even Trixie herself looked interested, Vinyl’s skill and insight having penetrated even her rock-hard self-esteem after years of defeat.

“Trixie, you said something during the fight about you being ‘corrupted’. What did you mean?”

Trixie cleared her throat and began to explain as Vinyl continued to scroll through reams of data on the screen.

“That was my second revelation. You have not been fighting me these past years, not truly. Though at first I fought for Luna willingly, over time the darkness within her slowly crept within me too. Even now I can barely remember my time as your enemy.”

Octavia spoke up softly but incisively.

“You mean to say Nightmare Moon is a corrupting influence?”

Trixie nodded.

“In my time... away, I learned many things. Perhaps the strangest is the nature of Nightmare Moon. She is not, in fact, the Princess Luna.”

Lyra leaned forward questioningly, eyes narrowed as she struggled to keep up.

“So, what, you’re saying that Luna and Nightmare Moon are separate ponies? Then... why did Luna transform into her? You saying Nightmare Moon is controlling Her or something?”

“Exactly right.”

Lyra blinked, as surprised at her correct answer as anypony else in the room.

“Oh. Uh... right. Fair enough.”

Vinyl piped up, having finally found what she was looking for.

“Take a look at this.”

She pointed to a section of graph in which a dark line merged briefly with the other coloured marks, and disappeared.

“We couldn’t match this wavelength to anypony present at your defeat, Trixie.”

Trixie winced slightly at the word ‘defeat’ and Vinyl grinned.

“Sorry, during the fight. Anyway, we had you, us, the Tower, and this one. It kinda comes out of nowhere, gets mixed in with the energy from the Elements, then vanishes. Are you saying that was Nightmare Moon?”

Trixie nodded and continued her explanation.

“Indeed, but not quite. You see, Nightmare Moon is not an alicorn, or even a pony. She is a magical force, a poisonous shard of a far greater entity, long since vanished, that gave her life. I don’t know all the details, but I do know she was planted in Luna thousands of years ago and has never been fully removed. My constant proximity to the Princess made me susceptible and eventually my Element, too weak alone, was suppressed before it could awaken. That is what that line denotes.”

She trotted over the graph and ran her hoof along the line.

“This is the fragment of Nightmare Moon being extracted by your attack. Here, the Elements purify me, removing the corruption. And here the line fades... as did I.”

Vinyl’s eyes widened again.

“Because we only had five!”

Trixie looked at her quizzically.

“I beg your pardon?”

Vinyl went back to the keyboard and brought up a screenshot of the broken book that had taught them about Nightmare Moon in the first place.

“See here? Celestia is banishing Nightmare Moon with the Elements of Harmony, all six of them. The sixth, the one we were missing until now, is the biggest in the drawing and right in the centre. It never really occurred to me until now because of how stylised the picture is, but maybe that’s because it’ the most important!”

She looked around the room, questioning the ponies present.

“When we fired that... beam thing, we all said ‘Friendship is magic’, right?”

They nodded, none having forgotten the world-changing event.

“Well, I know I didn’t think of saying that. It kind of... came from within. Maybe that was the Elements trying to tell us that that’s what we were missing!”

She turned to Trixie and pointed a triumphant hoof.

“Magic!”

Trixie began to pace back and forth, lost in thought despite herself.

“So as the Elements attempted to purify me and destroy what there was of Nightmare Moon within me, they were without their unifying Element and were forced to work through the Tower...”

Vinyl continued her sentence.

“And the resulting attack didn’t work as intended, sending you wherever you went...”

The two ponies came to the same conclusion at the same time, speaking simultaneously.

“Which is why she fled, because she knows we have all the Elements to banish her!”

There was a brief silence. The other ponies smiled knowingly. Vinyl and Trixie were more alike than they thought, loath as they would be to admit it. The two scientists coughed and turned away from each other, returning to their seats. Derpy sat back in her chair, looking pensive.

“So, the question now is what to do about Nightmare Moon. We know she can be defeated, and we know it has to be us. I say we take the fight to her. I don’t want to let what happened with you and Luna happen again. But... where did she go?”

Trixie looked surprised.

“I’m amazed you haven’t worked it out yet. You said yourself that your Element revealed her identity to you. She is The Mare In The Moon, or, more accurately, The Mare On The Moon. And that is precisely where she has gone.”

There was a silence as the ponies processed this.

Eventually, Redheart spoke two words, echoing the thoughts of everypony there.

“The moon.”

The floodgates opened, everypony starting to talk at once.

“Seriously, the moon? What’s she even gonna do from there?”

“Her magic must be crazy powerful if she can just fly to the moon, how do we beat her?”

“The situation seems...difficult.”

“This is far beyond our scope of operations.”

Derpy waved her forelegs wildly in an futile attempt to calm them all down. Eventually they quieted, looking to Trixie for further explanation. Relishing the attention as usual, she continued.

“Nightmare Moon was banished to the moon and even now controls its natural ruler. That is where her true power lies. I recall Luna talking often of some terrible weapon she had up there, some ultimate failsafe that she could rely on were we to be brought the brink of defeat. I can only assume that Nightmare Moon plans to make use of this... whatever it is.”

There was another brief silence. Their previous conflict seemed to have become almost insignificant. For all their battles, the Empire and M.A.R.E. had been confined to the ground, their constant back-and-forth within terrestrial constraints that the ponies had considered, until now, to be absolute. But now events had taken a terrifying turn, evolving from an ideological skirmish against a rebel Princess to a full-on declaration of war by an elemental force of pure evil.

Derpy stood authoritatively and they all looked to her for guidance.

“I think the answer is obvious. We go to the moon.”

Vinyl raised a hoof respectfully even as she voiced her dissent.

“With respect, Commander, how? We’ve never taken space travel anywhere beyond wild theory, so unless there’s something that can get us to the moon and back just lying around, then we’re... pretty...”

She trailed off as a dreadful realisation hit her. Everypony looked at Trixie, whose face was a visual definition of the word “smug”. Vinyl facehoofed.

“Oh, come on.”

Scene 9

To Vinyl’s intense disappointment, Trixie had been true to her word. She had led them to a portion of the Empire’s abandoned underground base, long since picked clean by M.A.R.E. clean-up crews, and revealed a secret passage hidden behind multiple layers of security. After hidden doors, huge bulkheads, and the occasional firefight with Lunatrons that had never been deactivated, they had stepped out into a chamber almost a mile high.

Trixie had explained that Luna had commissioned the rocket early in her service, when Nightmare Moon’s influence was weaker and the Princess still had moments of lucidity. Though Trixie had worked diligently on the enormous spacecraft, Luna had never made use of it. She suspected that Luna had somehow found a way to hide the knowledge from Nightmare Moon. At that point, Bon-Bon had said quietly,

“Maybe she knew this was coming. Maybe, somehow, as she lost control of herself and her crusade... she wanted to help.”

Since then, preparations had moved swiftly. The full brunt of M.A.R.E.’s resources was brought to bear on making the rocket space-worthy. Vinyl, Octavia and Trixie had worked sleeplessly for almost a week as Lyra and Bon-Bon trained their bodies harder than they had ever trained before. Derpy had continued to put everything she had into bringing M.A.R.E. to the height of its potential so as to act independently while she was gone. Redheart had simply run the infirmary as ever, treating those that had been wounded in the battle at Celestia Tower. Every day that passed was a day that could be the end of everything they knew, but spirits were high. Victory would mean victory over evil itself. And they had never lost before.

At last, the rocket was deemed ready for launch. They had risked one more day for the scientists to rest their exhausted minds and bodies. And now the day had finally come.

The bearers of the Elements of Harmony walked six abreast along the massive gantry, dressed in skintight spacesuits coloured to match their coats. Assembled below were the collected forces of M.A.R.E., gathered to bid farewell to the departing heroes. Above them, the rocket loomed.

As they neared the entrance to the cockpit, the metal roof of the chamber began to grind open. Sunlight pierced the gloom of the underground hangar, a line of brilliance that widened to cast its warmth across the heroes of Equestria as they prepared to leave their home, their very planet, to save it. They reached the door, flanked by two guards. Derpy moved ahead of her companions and turned to face them. A guard dropped a grey metal suitcase on the floor that sprang into a pop-up podium. The Commander addressed her charges.

“For years, we’ve fought the Luna Empire to defend this city and the ponies that call it their home. We’ve battled monsters, robots, and even other ponies, to this end and you have all done your duty. You never complained, and you never quit. Thank you.”

Her voice washed over the organisation, the Element she bore ensuring everypony felt the sincerity of her feelings.

“But now we, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, must fight without your help. We go to fight, not a rogue Princess, but evil itself. You can’t follow us, but your prayers can.”

The sun seemed to shine brighter as if to lend power to her words, light filling the enormous room.

“So that is all I ask. Pray for us, everypony, and your friendship will carry us through!”

There was silence following her brief speech. Nopony moved.

Derpy looked around uncertainly and turned to her friends.

“Was it something I said? I thought that was a pretty good speech!”

The other Elements were staring into the sky. Lyra spoke, almost in a whisper, voice hoarse with amazement.

“Celestia...”

Derpy raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe not that good.”

Lyra trotted up to her silently, neck still craned upwards in awe, and grabbed Derpy’s head, angling it upwards. The Commander’s crooked eyes widened as she realised the truth.

“Oh. Right.”

The sun had become brighter. It shone powerfully into the hangar, framing the descending shadow with its golden rays. As the shape flew lightly downwards and landed with unearthly grace on the gantry before the Elements of Harmony, the forces of M.A.R.E. knelt as one. The newcomer folded Her wings and smiled warmly, a smile that seemed to contain all the world’s kindness. The sunlight glinted from Her horn and Her mane was afire with colour.

The ponies on the gantry followed M.A.R.E.’s example, kneeling with utmost respect. Princess Celestia laughed, and the sound seemed to fill them with strength.

“Rise, my little ponies.”

They all stood slowly, awaiting the Princess’ next words. Celestia hadn’t been seen outside of Her castle for decades, Her only contact with the outside world the occasional letter to the various governments of Equestria and fleeting appearances at the Grand Galloping Gala, as if merely to reassure Her subjects of Her existence. Her presence was not insignificant.

“Ponies of M.A.R.E.. Your Commander is right. You have done more for this city in a few years than I have done for my entire kingdom in a millenium.”

She turned to the Elements and they were startled to see remorse in the Princess’ expression. Stories painted Celestia as nigh-infallible, a living incarnation of perfect governance. But this was not the Celestia they had been told ruled from Canterlot with infinite wisdom, simply a pony who had made terrible mistakes and was ready, almost desperate, to apologise.

“And you, bearers of the Elements of Harmony, have done even more. While I stood by, allowing my sister to run rampant under the control of a threat I refused to admit was undefeated, you have risen to the challenge and saved Equestria from destruction countless times.”

Vinyl threw a snide glance at Trixie, who tossed her mane with a barely audible harrumph.

“And now you must leave our world itself to do what I should have done a thousand years ago. Thank you. Thank you.”

Then, to the shock of all present, Princess Celestia Herself knelt before the stunned seven.

“Please, save my sister. Do what I couldn’t. Save Equestria from my mistake.”

The resulting silence was broken by Lyra.

“Well... duh.”

Several hundred ponies mentally facehoofed.

“We’re going up there anyway, You didn’t have to come down and tell us Yourself. Not that we don’t appreciate it, Princess. I mean, it’s obviously a pretty big deal, and it’s pretty cool to meet You in the fl-”

She was interrupted by Bon-Bon grabbing her in a tight stranglehold and dragging her towards the open door of the rocket. Celestia blinked, then laughed again and stood back up. Derpy gave an embarrassed grin on behalf of her subordinate and knelt briefly a final time before turning to usher the other Elements into the rocket. All decorum and ceremony deflated, they trotted out of sight, into their vehicle to the stars. Vinyl and Octavia waved at the Princess, Redheart gave a short nod, and Trixie bowed theatrically before turning to leave.

The door hissed closed, cutting off Vinyl’s sudden laughter and Bon-Bon’s cries of, “I can’t believe you, Lyra! That was Princess Celestia Herself! PRINCESS CELES-”

As ponies began to scramble to their positions and the ignition sequence commenced, Celestia gazed up at the enormous machine, the metal bulk casting its shadow over the Princess as She contemplated the distant past, casting Her mind back to a time of villages, thatched roofs and pony-pulled trains. Times had changed. He had made sure of that.

But maybe, She thought, just maybe... they’ll be the ones to change them back.

Scene 10

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Where does she find these things?”

The screens adorning the bridge’s front wall were showing the camera feed from the rocket’s exterior, and what lay on the moon’s surface was more than they had ever imagined.

Nestled in an impact crater that stretched for miles was a vast black city, almost the mirror of Metropony but with sinister differences. Where their hometown was graced by towering office blocks and residential buildings, Nightmare Moon’s fortress was comprised of huge factories that belched magic-tinged smoke into the thin air. Difficult to see at this distance, sleek silver craft swooped among the monolithic structures, no doubt delivering raw materials to fuel the Mare In The Moon’s war machine. Fields of strange red weeds replaced the parks. In the centre of it all, an enormous castle, shaped like the crescent moon, took Celestia Tower’s place in the twisted duplicate.

The ponies in the rocket stared at the impossible stronghold as they stood around the main screen, their mission seeming more insane than ever. Vinyl broke the reflective silence.

“So, who’s flying those things?”

Octavia answered, her voice as steady as ever even faced with the enormity of their task.

“Perhaps an AI? The entire city may be automated.”

Trixie shook her head and cut in.

“I can explain. I joined my Lady Luna at first because I truly believed in Her cause. Back then both She and I were unaffected by Nightmare Moon, and we fought because we thought we were right. As time went on I became unsure if we were truly correct, and asked Her for guidance. She took me to an observation chamber and showed me the moon, and told me of Her banishment by Celestia. She didn’t say anything about Nightmare Moon, of course. I’m sure by then her influence was growing.”

They all turned to look at Trixie, whose voice was now edged with sorrow. They had noticed this over the past few days, a melancholy that sometimes gripped the otherwise irrepressible scientist. Her memories of her time as Luna’s servant clearly caused her great distress. Both her guilt at her actions and her care for the Princess whom she had originally pledged her allegiance to seemed to gnaw at her.

“She told me of infinite loneliness, of being trapped in a piece of rock for a thousand years with only the knowledge that you have done nothing wrong. She told me how She watched as Celestia took over Her duties and the world carried on as if She wasn’t even needed.”

The other ponies were rapt, seeing a new side to both Trixie and Luna. For years they had only seen a rogue Princess threatening the city and somepony giving Her the weapons to do it. But it had become clear, as the layers of deception peeled away, that all they had ever been fighting were two ponies who had been betrayed by fate, lashing out to change the world for what they saw as the better.

Trixie sighed and carried on.

“And then She told me that when everything had seemed darkest, She... made friends.”

Derpy’s eyebrow raised.

“But there’s nopony on the moon.”

Trixie shook her head.

“Exactly. She made friends. She may have been trapped, but She was still in the moon, Her sovereign territory. Using the power it gave Her, She shaped creatures of raw magic and gave them a semblance of life. These moonwraiths, silent, subservient, and tainted by Nightmare Moon, were all the company She had for over five hundred years.”

There was a somber silence as they contemplated the horrors of Luna’s banishment. The more they learned, the more it seemed that the Elements were not the all-powerful bringers of light they seemed. Even when wielded by Celestia, considered the most powerful magical entity in the world, they had been unable to separate Nightmare Moon from Luna, forcing Her to live out Her terrible sentence. Even now the Princess was a prisoner in Her own body, surrounded by soulless foes that She had created.

Lyra slapped Bon-Bon on the back.

“Cheer up, everypony. All I hear is we just got even more reason to do this right! Let’s go kick Nightmare Moon’s tail and bring our Princess back!”

Lyra’s enthusiasm was infectious and the mood began to lift. Bon-Bon smiled and returned the hoofbump her partner proffered.

“If the Elements can make Trixie our friend, what chance does Nightmare Moon have?”

Trixie flounced back to her chair, mock-offended.

“Ha and ha. How very droll.”

As they laughed and returned to their stations, Derpy felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Redheart, who was tapping a viewscreen with her other hoof.

“What is it?”

Redheart pointed more vigourously, urging the Commander to look closer. Derpy peered at the screen, eyes narrowed. Rolling her eyes, Redheart tapped a few keys and brought the image to the main screen.

“Oh.”

A silver cloud was rising from the city in the distance, sparkling in the vista of space like minnows in a black sea. Vinyl scrambled closer to investigate, an effort that was not helped by Trixie trying to occupy exactly the same space as she attempted to do the same.

“What is that?Is Nightmare Moon doing some kind of magic?”

The cloud swirled in the air above the city for a few moments, then with alarming speed began to streak towards them, spreading into a wide V. Bon-Bon spoke urgently as the situation became apparent.

“I think we just got noticed.”

Derpy began barking orders as the mass of fighters, horizontal silver crescents with a red light sliding back and forth across their strangely helmet-like cockpits, became clearer onscreen.

“Trixie, Bon-Bon, evasive manuevers! Lyra, Octavia, get on the guns. Vinyl, prepare for combat repairs. Redheart, get your supplies ready. I don’t want anypony taking any permanent damage.”

As Trixie slipped into her chair, Bon-Bon looked back at the Commander quizzically.

“What are you going to do, Commander?”

Derpy smiled her goofy smile.

“I’m going to give us a little boost.”

And she disappeared from the room, heading into the bowels of the rocket.

Lyra and Octavia had meanwhile made their way to two alcoves halfway up the walls of the bridge, heavy doors slamming closed behind them. The chairs they now sat in hummed upwards, coming to rest within two gun turrets on either side of their spacecraft. Craning her neck to see through the clear surface of her gunner’s compartment, Lyra flicked her communicator on.

“Just the two of us? That cloud of fighters is pretty big. Can’t this thing throw out any more firepower?”

Octavia’s quiet voice emerged from the speaker.

“Like this?”

The sound of keys tapping came over the airwaves and suddenly Lyra saw turrets spring up across the entire length of the rocket, hidden panels sliding aside to let the plasma cannons emerge. Within moments, it bristled with enough firepower to shame even the mightiest Lunatron, each gun powered by a shining blue orb at its centre. Lyra placed her hooves on the controls of her own turret and grinned.

“Yeah, that works.”

As the fighters came into range, their formation disintegrated. Breaking off in all directions, the wave of enemies began to attack seemingly at random. The first shots impacted with the rocket moments later, but the armour held and was left with only small dents. As one, the turrets returned fire, hurling hundreds of blue bolts at the swooping enemy craft. Every time a plasma shot so much as clipped a fighter it exploded instantly, as if they were held together with little more than imagination. Purple wisps edged the balls of flame as the wraiths within were consumed by the explosion.

At the pilots’ station, Trixie and Bon-Bon were wrestling with the controls, trying to somehow both maintain their course and engage in a dogfight while piloting a vehicle that, despite the three scientists’ best efforts, could be best described as cumbersome. Though they were able to evade some of the fighters’ attack runs by jinking as hard as the massive craft could, the fact was that they were just too big, and every change in trajectory meant more time in the three-hundred-and-sixty-degree hail of fire. The space surrounding them was alight with colours, a fireworks display of lethal energy, and it was impossible to avoid the hundreds of bolts flying at them. Bon-Bon yanked at the heavy controls while Trixie furiously hammered at the console, pressing buttons and tapping keys seemingly at random.

“Trixie, what are you doing?!”

“I’m gong to detach us from the main body of the rocket!”

Bon-Bon looked at the viewscreen, still blanketed in shining silver as the fighters swarmed.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?!”

Trixie flinched, the console sparking as something no doubt important was damaged by the constant incoming fire, then resumed her attack on the controls.

“Can you think of anything better? It’ll make us more maneuverable and the armour’s just as strong!”

Bon-Bon gave up. No one knew the ship better than the one who had built it. She just hoped Trixie had thought this through.

Vinyl was galloping back and forth in the corridor outside the bridge, trying to simultaneously effect repairs on multiple systems. Rerouting power here, severing overloading fuses there, the genius mechanic was almost a blur as she worked faster and harder than she had ever worked. Using her magic to its fullest, she sweated with the concentration of performing upwards of three tasks at once, tools flying about the place like her own swarm of fighters.

There was a deep rumble and the lights failed briefly, plunging the ponies into darkness for one terrifying moment. Vinyl gritted her teeth. The enemy were starting to penetrate the rocket’s armour, the sheer concentration of fire making up for what the fighters lacked in raw power. She ran to the bridge door and shouted in.

“I hope someone has a plan because I can’t keep us together much longer!”

Trixie replied, not looking up from her console.

“I’m almost there! Just a few moments unti-”

She was interrupted by Derpy bursting into the room, bowling into Vinyl and sending her rolling. The Commander dove for her chair and strapped herself in, desperately motioning for Vinyl to do the same.

“Quick! Everyone buckle up!”

Vinyl picked herself up unsteadily and stumbled towards her chair in a daze, magically bringing the clasps together as she shook her head to clear the effects of her tumble.

“Wassa problem? Wha’ you do?”

Derpy grinned widely, looking pleased with herself.

“I hooked up Bubbles’ generator to the engines to give us more power!”

Vinyl immediately broke free of her stupor and Trixie fumbled at the controls in surprise, almost slamming her face into the console. They cried in unison,

“You did wha-”

At that moment, there was a deafening boom and they were slammed back into their chairs as the rocket leapt forward. The room shook violently and everypony found themselves completely unable to act, pinned by the sudden incredible acceleration. The external cameras showed the engines’ flames become so hot as to leave the visible spectrum. The cabin rocked as the rocket tore into the cloud of fighters, smashing through those that couldn’t fly out of the way fast enough and destroying them instantly.. Before they could react, the speeding craft had broken free of their encirclement.

Inside, the ponies were still pinned to their chairs. Vinyl managed to speak over the roar of the supercharged engines, barely understandable as the vibrations rocked them.

“W-w-wha-a-a-at e-e-e-xa-a-a-ctl-y-y-y m-m-ma-a-ade y-y-y-ou-ou-ou thi-i-ink thi-i-is wa-a-as a-a-a g-g-go-o-od i-i-ide-e-e-a-a-a?!”

Derpy’s voice was equally distorted but did nothing to hide her embarrassment.

“I-I-I di-i-idn’t thi-i-ink i-i-it wou-ou-ould be-e-e thi-i-is s-s-stro-o-ong-g-g!”

The comms crackled into life and Lyra’s voice juddered out.

“U-u-uh, gu-u-uys-s-s? Th-th-tha-a-at to-o-ow-w-wer’s g-g-ge-e-etti-i-ing clo-lo-lose-e-er!”

The main screen, image tearing as the cameras were slowly ripped from their housing, confirmed this. Their trajectory was carrying them towards the tower fast. Very fast. The rocket shuddered even more as they crashed through the atmosphere and began to descend rapidly, heading straight for the black crescent. Gun emplacements scattered across the city fired into the sky to destroy the incoming craft, but to no avail.

Bon-Bon had managed to hook her forelegs around the controls, hauling at them in an attempt to steer them towards a wide hanger visible a little over halfway up the tower. Trixie reached with all her strength to the console, her hoof hovering over the final button in the shuttle release sequence she had been working through before Derpy’s jury-rigged supercharger had fired. Their only hope now was to detach the command module and pull out of the dive before the rocket impacted. The tower filled the screen now, and everypony closed their eyes, bracing themselves for the incoming crash. With one last effort, Trixie brought her hoof down.

The rocket smashed into the tower, piercing the hangar directly. Though huge, the bay doors’ height did not match the rocket’s diameter, and with a keening screech that carried even in the thin moon air it slowly came to a halt. The tower shook to its foundations as it struggled against the massive impact. After what seemed like an eternity, it was over. Smoke poured from the crash site, giving the strangest impression that the tower was smoking a giant metal cigar. In the aftermath of the titanic collision, there was silence.

Moments later, it was broken by the resounding clang of the command module coming loose and crashing to the floor of the hangar.

Scene 11

Silver-armoured moonwraiths crowded around the wreckafnasdjknfkdsanlfs~^%&(*^W

We are sorry, it appears that parasprites have found their way into our projector! Our exterminator has been contacted and his instruments prepared.

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Harpflank and Sweets: The Movie - Part 3

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Scene 11

Silver-armoured moonwraiths crowded around the wreckage of the bay doors, searching for a way into the rocket’s detached cabin. Communicating wordlessly, a group combed the surface of the metal box, at last finding a bulkhead several ponies wide. The plasma rifles attached to their armour warmed up, ready to start blasting. Before they could fire, the edges of the bulkhead hissed with steam. Ever so slightly, it moved. The two moonwraiths closest to the bulkhead didn’t actually exchange glances and say “Uh-oh,” but somehow their expressionless helmets gave precisely that impression.

The bulkhead disengaged forcefully, slamming to the ground and crushing the moonwraiths. Wisps of magic floated from the remains of their armour. Two blurs, one green and one cream, burst from the smoke covering the revealed entrance and landed in front of the gathered forces, stances wide. The moonwraiths stepped back, surprised by the sudden appearance of Lyra and Bon-Bon.

Taking advantage of the opening, the two ponies leapt forward and laid into the enemy. The silver armour was strong, but buckled under the heroes’ strength. The moonwraiths within were impossibly fragile, dissipating into nothingness if even a chink opened in their protective covering. As the melee whirled, more troops filed into the hangar, loosing bolts of energy at the pair from a distance. Lyra yelped as a near-miss singed her flank.

“Uh, backup?!”

The crack of a rifle came from the module, and a hole appeared in the armour of one of the newly-arrived moonwraiths. As the armour clunked the ground, more shots rang out. Behind the clearing smoke, Redheart and Derpy were lying on the ground, rifles secured with tripods and firing repeatedly. More moonwraiths dropped as they entered the two snipers’ deadly sights, and the fire assaulting Lyra and Bon-Bon let up. Soon, the room was clear, the combination of gunfire and physical prowess proving far too much for the primitive instincts of the wraiths.

The seven regrouped at the hangar doors, Derpy and Redheart keeping watch for incoming wraiths. Outside was a curved corridor leading out of sight in either direction. Vinyl and Octavia were scanning pieces of moonwraith armour, trying to research their enemy during the short breather. Lyra, Bon-Bon and Trixie discussed their next move, Bon-Bon turning to Trixie’s knowledge of Luna’s operations for guidance.

“Trixie, do you have any idea what we do next?”

Lyra stamped a hoof impatiently.

“We hit Nightmare Moon, what else? We gotta find her and use the Elements to, I don’t know, love and tolerate her out of the Princess!”

Trixie looked thoughtful, wracking her brains for anything from her time as Luna’s servant that could help.

“I think she’ll be at the highest point of the tower. Our battle with her showed us that Nightmare Moon is arrogant, and arrogance always places itself above others.”

Lyra raised an eyebrow.

“Your base was underground.”

Trixie gave her a flat look.

“Out of necessity. What were going to do, build a base in the sky?”

Bon-Bon stepped between the two.

“We’ve got no time for this. We have to reach Nightmare Moon quickly. I say we pick a direction and go. There have to be elevators or something around here. Commander?”

Derpy pulled her head from around the corner and joined the conversation.

“Sounds like a plan to me, Bon-Bon. Vinyl, Octavia, have you learned anything useful?”

Vinyl placed her scanner on the ground and scratched her head.

“These things are weird, Commander. Their magical wavelength matches Nightmare Moon’s, but there’s... something else.”

Octavia chipped in.

“They are weaker than they should be. It is as if the magic that forms them is... incoherent.”

“That’s why they poof away with barely a scratch. There’s no internal order or strength to them, they’re just... magic with a mind. I thought Nightmare Moon would have done a better job.”

Derpy nodded, unable to hide the fact that she hadn’t really understood.

“Well, all we need to know is that they’re easy to beat. But that’s no reason to lower our guard. Let’s pick a direction and head up, everypony. Nightmare Moon’s waiting for us!”

They all nodded and, keeping the scientists in the centre of the group, moved out.

Scene 12

“Would you like to take any longer with that door?!”

Lyra dodged a moonwraith’s clumsy swipe and kicked it hard in return, sending it flying into another armoured foe and crushing them both. Bon-Bon tripped another as it made a move for the door, the impact knocking its helmet off and dispersing the wraith’s essence. Octavia frowned as she hurriedly tapped at the device she had hooked to the maintenance hatch below the door that blocked their path.

“This is harder than it looks, thank you.”

At first, their sortie into the tower had met with no resistance. They had travelled along what seemed like miles of featureless corridor, taking stairs upwards whenever they could. The tower’s interior presented a mystery. There seemed to be no unifying layout, nor any purpose to the paths they walked. The long stretches of corridor led only to more corridor. What doors they had encountered were unsecured and opened onto nothing but identical stairwells, stretching down as far as the eye could discern. The moment they entered, an alarm would sound and thick bulkheads would begin to close above them. They would gallop as many floors up as they dared then leave the stairwell before it locked down behind them.

Again and again they repeated this, until they had reached a corridor wider and more grand than the others. Swirling designs covered the clear walls, matching the nebulae and stars visible in the sky, and before them was an enormous door. Carved into the metal surface was a relief of Nightmare Moon rearing in triumph over what looked like a stylised sun, surrounded by bowing ponies. The seven heroes had trotted slowly up to the door, even the urgency of their mission overwhelmed by the grandeur of their surroundings. The door had not opened automatically like the rest, and so the three scientists had gone to work, rapidly locating the access panel and beginning their infiltration.

It was at that moment the moonwraiths had ambushed them. Within moments, Redheart and Derpy had opened fire, sending a hail of bullets into the ranks of steel-clad shadows emerging from sliding panels hidden seamlessly in the floor. Lyra and Bon-Bon had leapt forward to tie up the front ranks of the sudden platoon, sending wraiths flying with powerful kicks and throws. Dancing between both the plasma fire of the wraiths and Derpy and Redheart’s covering shots, the two blocked the wraith’s passage towards the door with brute force and skill. The door, however, had proved hard to crack and the heroes were beginning to tire after the stress of their travails so far.

Bolts of plasma hit the door as the wraiths continued to fire, chipping at its decoration and narrowly missing the ponies huddled around the access panel. As Vinyl and Trixie tried to squeeze into the same three foot wide space, horns glowing as they attacked the door’s inner workings, Octavia tapped a final key and called over the noise of the skirmish,

“I’m in!”

The two unicorns both emerged, cracking their heads against each other as they did so. Vinyl rubbed her forehead and began to gather their equipment back together as quickly as possible.

“Guys! Door’s opening, we’re moving out!”

Redheart pulled a grenade from her belt, yanking the pin with her teeth and throwing it towards Lyra and Bon-Bon’s melee. They ducked and rolled back, clearing the blast radius just as the fusion charge detonated and tore the wraiths apart. Once all seven ponies had reached the door, Derpy hit the door release.

“Move, before they regroup!”

There was a low groan and slowly, ever so slowly, the door began to grind upwards. More wraiths sprang from the floor along the corridor. Lyra kicked the door and growled in frustration.

“This is the stupidest tower ever!”

“Uh, I think the wraiths are up to something.”

Bon-Bon had been keeping an eye on the advancing armoured forms and was the first to notice their odd behaviour. With eerie cohesion, they had arranged themselves into a detailed pattern, matching those found on the walls. Then, as one, their armour fell to pieces. For the first time, the heroes saw their foes for what they truly were. Trixie let out a sympathetic gasp.

“Oh, Luna...”

Beneath their armour the wraiths were featureless, nothing more than clouds of purple mist taking the vague shape of a pony. But, barely visible as the purple haze shifted in its magical confines, the outline of wings and a horn could be seen. And, on their insubstantial flanks, the mist thickened in the shape of a cutie mark. Celestia’s cutie mark. Every single moonwraith, every empty construct Luna had created in her hundreds of years under Nightmare Moon’s influence, was a living monument to the longing she felt to see her sister just one more time.

Before the ponies could begin to comprehend the depth of Luna’s solitude, the wraiths dissipated, the magic that formed them swirling into the air. But instead of fading like their sisters had, they came together, forming a cloud of twisting purple that began to take shape as the heroes braced themselves for whatever was coming and the door continued its painfully slow ascent.

Within moments, the combined wraiths had taken their new shape fully. What faced them now was the shape of a bear, but towered above them, the stars visible through its translucent body mingling with those that dotted it. Between its beady eyes was a eight-pointed star. The ponies craned their necks upwards to take in the full size of their new enemy, and Lyra asked the world in general,

“Why does everything we fight have to be so much bigger than us?”

The ursa minor roared, forcing the heroes to step back (or, in Derpy’s case, flap desperately to stay aloft), and charged. They scattered, Lyra, Vinyl and Octavia taking one side and Bon-Bon, Trixie and Redheart the other. Derpy flew higher, bumping into the ceiling, to let the beast run under her. It swerved to follow Lyra’s group, its feet skidding as the combined wraiths settled into their new form. The three ponies narrowly avoided being crushed as it barrelled towards them and the creature slid into the clear wall at speed, causing even the reinforced glass to creak alarmingly.

Lyra and Bon-Bon broke off from their groups and ran to each other’s side, launching simultaneous flying kicks at the beast. It picked itself up with deceptive agility and swatted them out of the air even as a bullet from Derpy’s rifle passed through its forehead star to no discernible effect. Vinyl and Octavia were running back towards the door, reaching it at the same time as Trixie, who had taken the opening Lyra and Bon-Bon’s failed attack had given her to do the same. The three scientists looked back at their comrades fighting to protect them. It was a grim sight.

The great bear was swiping at that four ponies around it, unable to get a clear hit on the small targets, but too quick for them attack back. Even when a bullet or kick found its way to the beast, it passed straight through. Redheart was attempting to flank the beast while Lyra and Bon-Bon distracted it, but it seemed to have no weak spot, no point at which its one-way tangibility could be ignored. Derpy had given up on firing altogether, wings flapping furiously as she zipped around its head in an attempt to anger it into somehow dropping its defenses.

“We’ve gotta help them!”

Vinyl implored her two companions as Trixie glanced at the raising door, which was barely at knee height.

“How?! All our equipment is for infiltration! As I recall, the mission statement did not include ‘battle a giant bear immune to physical harm!’”

Vinyl turned to Trixie, their faces almost touching as she tried to reason with her rival.

“I don’t know, we think of something! They always managed to come up with a plan when we were fighting you, what’s the difference here?!”

Bristling, Vinyl’s jibes at her past finally getting to her, Trixie began to shout.

“The difference is that I was piloting machines, not monsters from space renowned for their invulnerability!”

There was a clang to their side and they turned to see Octavia heaving a small device from her pack that glowed with the distinctive signature of nanomachines and began to grow until it was almost the size of the pony herself. She pointed to it with an expression one normally saved for squabbling fillies. Vinyl and Trixie coughed and trotted over urgently, Vinyl muttering to herself.

“Not my fault Trixie forgot about the hardware...”

The battle with the ursa was coming to an end, and not in the ponies’ favour. The wraith-bear seemed to be growing quicker in both mind and body by the moment, and had managed to put Derpy in a position where she had to choose between being hit by Redheart’s bullets or its paw. Before Lyra could yell at Redheart to stop firing, the beast had slapped Derpy into the glass wall, cracking it further and causing the pegasus to slump to the ground. Free of its main distraction, the ursa was able to concentrate on its other foes and quickly had them pinned in the remains of the moonwraith armour, the heaped metal removing Lyra and Bon-Bon’s advantage in agility. Redheart continued to fire, unable to harm it with her weaponry but unwilling to cease the attack and admit defeat.The bear roared as it bore down on the cornered heroes. Raising itself on its hind legs, head touching the clear ceiling, it poised itself to crush them in one blow.

There was an ear-splitting sound, a mixture of a hum so deep and low it shook their bones and a screeching wail that made them clap their hooves over their ears. A beam of light, strands of grey, blue and white entwined, exploded from the vicinity of the door and tore through the ursa. Almost fully the height of the monster’s body, the beam tore through the combined wraiths’ essence like paper, vaporising the magical entity and leaving nothing but its head. Blinking several times, it seemed to finally realise that it was dead and disappeared into the air. Lyra, Bon-Bon and Redheart, fronts blackened from the intense power and proximity of the beam, turned their heads to the door, unable to move anything else as the adrenaline wore off.

The three scientists were all standing on their back legs, using their forelegs to steady... something. A huge grey cylinder, fully three ponies long, it pulsed with energy. On the surface, it reminded them of Bubbles, but so much larger. Whirring gears and glowing pipes ground to a halt and visibly cooled as the weapon wound down, the rotation of the barrel’s interior slowing to a stop. Trixie and Vinyl held the front end of the weapon while Octavia supported the weight of the back end, wearing a put-upon expression. Vinyl was grinning and Trixie smiling triumphantly.

“Behold! How do you like my-”

“Our.”

“Tch. How do you like our Plasma-Assisted Recoilless Triximum Gamma Cannon?”

There was a brief silence, during which Bon-Bon gently pressed out a very small flame that had caught in her coat. As usual, Lyra was the one to break it.

“Triximum Gamma?”

Vinyl shot a glance at her rival.

“We were halfway through the acronym and Trixie just had to take over.”

Trixie dropped the cannon and fell back to all fours. Vinyl yelped with surprise and almost fell with the weapon, recovering at the last moment. There was a dignified “oof” from behind them as Octavia was left holding the entire weight of the gun and promptly collapsed underneath it, sighing in resignation as she pulled herself free.

“Well, if some of us had any sense of showmareship when it came to naming our creations, I wouldn’t have had to step i-”

Vinyl cut her off, eager to get back to the explanation at hand.

“Anyway, that’s its name. One of our better jobs if you ask me. It has six pieces, each attuned to an Element. Starts off small enough to balance on your hoof, ends up like this.”

She prodded the cannon, which was even now disassembling itself back to its original compact components, with her leg.

“Uses the energy of the Elements to charge up, so the more of us firing it, the bigger the blast.”

By now the three other ponies had recovered, Lyra and Bon-Bon helping each other up and Redheart gently slapping Derpy into consciousness. The door was, by now, high enough to duck under. Lyra kicked it again.

“Wouldn’t have needed it if it wasn’t for this stupid door. Makes no sense to move so slo-”

She was interrupted by a loud cracking sound. She whirled around, as did the others, trying to locate the source of the sound. Almost as one, they turned to face the other side of the corridor in the distance. The Cannon, it seemed, had quite a long range. A perfect, brightly shining circle was burned into the glass wall and even now the cracks were spreading. As the litany of snapping glass grew louder and the web of broken lines across the walls sped towards them, the ponies span on their hooves and scurried under the door, Redheart dragging the still woozy Commander behind her. On the other side, Lyra pointed to a point on the wall and urgently asked Vinyl,

“Access panel is here, right?”

Vinyl nodded and opened her mouth to reply, but before she could say anything Lyra had jammed her hoof through the hatch and ripped it from the wall.

“This thing better close faster than it opened!”

She pulled her leg out even harder than she had thrust it in and brought a tangle of sparking wires with it. The door groaned and, just as the room was filled with a sound like a thousand windows shattering at once and the sudden decompression caused the ponies to be pulled to the floor and slide towards the gap beneath the door, it slammed shut with all the force it hadn’t been able to muster going up.

The seven heroes gasped as their bodies insisted that they had fought and feared too much that day and should just give up. But before their breathless recovery could even begin, something brought them back to their senses. Something that none of them had wished to hear in this condition.

“AH, PONIES OF M.A.R.E. WELCOME TO THE MOON.”

Scene 13

The seven immediately leapt to their hooves and realised where they were. Somehow, miraculously, their haphazard assault had brought them straight to Nightmare Moon’s throne room. In their desperation to escape the danger of the corridor, they had not had the time nor inclination to take in their destination.

The room was enormous. The door they had entered through could account for no more than a tenth of the chamber’s height, despite being several ponies tall itself. The entire ceiling was painted as black as the sky outside, and was studded with jewels and clusters of precious stones - a beautiful map of the universe in miniature. Nearer the floor, the star-map blended into murals depicting Nightmare Moon crushing ponies, cities, worlds beneath her hooves. Statues of the alicorn lined the depressed walkway that led from from the door to the throne in the centre of the circular room. The throne itself was similar in style to Luna’s back in Metropony but, instead of a crescent, Nightmare Moon reclined against a full moon with a strange and vicious face etched into its surface. It towered above everything else in the room, atop a mountain of steps two thousand high. The room was a testament to the power of The Mare In The Moon.

The seven heroes readied themselves, wary against any surprises from the fusion of pony and monster that looked down at them. Nightmare Moon laughed heartily, with no trace of aggression.

“TO BATTLE SO FAST? COME NOW, THERE IS NO NEED FOR US TO FIGHT.”

Lyra snarled her response.

“Don’t need to fight? You’re wrong there.”

Bon-Bon joined her, voice firm and resolute.

“We’ve come to save the Princess from your control, and to stop your evil plans!”

Nightmare Moon looked down her nose at them.

“YOU ARE WELCOME TO TRY, LITTLE HEROES.”

As one, the Bearers acted. Lyra and Bon-Bon galloped towards Nightmare Moon’s throne, aiming for a frontal assault. Derpy and Redheart took firing positions and prepared to support the close-combat specialists. Trixie, Vinyl and Octavia were already pulling the components for the P.A.R.T.γ Cannon from their packs. Their foe laughed again, this time with a sinister edge.

“YOU’RE KIDDING. YOU’RE KIDDING, RIGHT?”

With a flash of magic, she vanished, reappearing right in front of the three scientists, who recoiled in fear. With a single sweep of her mighty wings, Nightmare Moon createda vortex of air that sent them tumbling into the door with painful thuds. The Cannon’s nanomachines scattered in the purple-tinged blast, leaving only the core units. Turning nonchalantly, she faced Lyra and Bon-Bon, who had skidded round and raced to their comrades’ defense. She met their head-on attack with a crackling magical force field that shot burning energy into their bodies as they hit it, flinging them away from her as they writhed in pain. Lyra’s freewheeling body slammed into Redheart and they rolled across the floor. Bon-Bon came to rest beneath Derpy, who had taken flight and was firing wildly at Nightmare Moon. The impossibly powerful alicorn scoffed as the bullets pinged from her bubble of protection.

A beam of magic shot from her horn, but Derpy was too fast, swooping out of the way for another attack run. Nightmare Moon continued to fire her blasts of magic, her arrogant smile fading to a frown as the Commander continued to evade her attacks. At last, she stamped her hoof in rage.

“ENOUGH!”

A violet whirlwind erupted from the floor around her, magic tearing through the air and making the statues tremble. Derpy flapped as hard as she could, but the pull of the miniature tornado was too strong, and she was sucked into its reach. Nightmare Moon cackled in triumph as the pegasus span around her, buffeted by the wind and singed by the bursts of energy that seemed to characterise Nightmare Moon’s magic. Tiring of her sport, Nightmare Moon let the magical wind drop, Derpy crashing to the ground at her hooves. She stood above the defeated Commander and placed one hoof on her chest, slowly applying more and more pressure as Derpy cried out in pain.

“PITIFUL PEGASUS. YOU COULD NOT WIN WITH A CITY OF PONIES BEHIND YOU, AND YOU THINK YOU CAN DESTROY ME ON YOUR OWN?”

Derpy gasped as the breath was crushed out of her, and forced words through gritted teeth.

“Nope... Just... delay you...”

Her tormentor raised an eyebrow.

“DELAY ME? WHAT POSSIBLE USE COULD THERE BE IN-”

A sound she had heard through the door not minutes ago cut her off. She whirled around to see the other six ponies stood in line, the P.A.R.T.γ Cannon fully assembled on their shoulders. While Derpy had kept the alicorn busy, the other heroes had recovered and prepared their final attack. Bon-Bon and Lyra stood at the front, followed by Vinyl, Octavia, Redheart and finally Trixie. Bon-Bon called back to her allies.

“Trixie, now! Everyone else, prepare to fire!”

Trixie screwed up her face in concentration and, almost too fast to follow, teleported first to Derpy’s side then back, bringing the Commander back to her place in line. Gasping with effort, she placed her hooves back on the Cannon and urged Derpy to do the same. As Nightmare Moon stared in shock, the Cannon grew at Derpy’s touch, reaching its final enormous size. Dwarfing the ponies that held it, the awesome weapon hummed and screeched and glowed as it reached maximum power. The light of the Elements began to shine from the seven Bearers and suffused the Cannon until, at last, it was ready to fire. Nightmare Moon had still not moved, too shaken by the idea that she might actually lose.

As at Trixie’s defeat, the ponies felt words rising up from within, unbidden. But these were not the words of the Elements, unfathomable magical entities attempting to communicate with creatures that could never hope to understand them. These were words that the magic of friendship brought forth, words that made everypony realise what they had truly been fighting for.

“For Luna!”

All their regret for the years lost to conflict, all their shame for having fought without ever trying to understand their foe, and all the love they felt for the Princess they finally understood was not to blame coalesced into a beam of incandescent light. Comprised not of the searing energy that had annihilated the ursa minor but a beam of the varicoloured light that had cleansed Trixie a year before, the magical burst engulfed Nightmare Moon before she could react.

She screamed, an unearthly wail that shook the room and knocked the ponies off their hooves. Her silhouette, tiny amongst the torrent of healing light, began to shrink. The harsh angles of her bone structure seemed to soften and her wings became smaller and more elegant. Blackness streamed from the changing form, the power of the Elements of Harmony visibly stripping every trace of Nightmare Moon from the Princess’ form.

At last, the light faded, and the Bearers stepped forward, lowering their hooves from their eyes. Lying before them, weeping in shame at Her deeds and happiness at Her freedom, was the Princess Luna. Trixie cried out and galloped to Her side, clasping the Princess in a hug that surprised everypony there, including herself.

“My Lady Luna!”

The other ponies crowded around the Princess, all eager to see if Luna truly was free of Nightmare Moon’s influence. The Princess sniffed and wiped Her eyes before looking up at them and saying,

“Thank you, my little ponies. We are free.”

Lyra jumped for joy and punched the air with her hoof.

“Yes! We got the touch!”

Bon-Bon smiled at her partner’s exuberance as Vinyl joined Lyra’s celebrations, performing a dance on the spot that had Octavia shaking her head in exasperation. Redheart gave a wide smile and Derpy loop-the-looped. Their mission was complete. Luna was free, and Metropony - the world - was finally safe. Trixie coughed and stood back from the Princess, who pulled Herself to her feet. Even so soon after the end of Her ordeall, She was regaining Her regal composure and calmed the whooping heroes with a wave of Her hoof.

“We cannot thank you enough, everypony. We are ashamed that we have threatened your lives for so long, and honoured that you fought so hard to save us. But we must begone with haste, for without Nightmare Moon this city will crumble. Gather round, and I shall take us h-”

Without warning, She was interrupted by a voice that nopony expected to hear and sent bolts of fear through them.

“NOT SO FAST, MY PUPPET.”

In horror, they all span to face the voice. Hovering above the throne, nothing more than a shadow of magic in the air, was Nightmare Moon. Luna stammered,

“It... It cannot be! The Elements destroyed you! We felt you leave us!”

The shade laughed derisively.

“REMOVED, YES. DESTROYED, NO. DO YOU NOT REALISE, LUNA? I AM YOU! I AM YOUR JEALOUSY AND DOUBTS MADE MANIFEST! SO LONG AS YOU LIVE, I AM ETERNAL! JUST AS YOUR SISTER COULD ONLY SEAL ME, SO THESE FOOLS HAVE ONLY RIPPED ME FROM YOUR SOUL.”

The shade began to pulse with the sickly glow of her magic and both Luna and the seven Bearers readied themselves to fight.

“AND NOW I AM FREE OF THE SHACKLES OF FLESH, YOU SHALL WITNESS MY ASCENSION.”

A terrific rumble shook the room, throwing everypony to their feet. The laughter of Nightmare Moon rang out as the ceiling began to open, revealing a huge window to the stars that reached the floor, turning the entire room in an observatory. The rumbling grew louder, shaking the very foundations of the tower. Outside, the city trembled with equal power, the factories crumbling to the ground with a crash that filled even the thin moon air.

“RISE, MY GREATEST CREATION! RISE!”

The ponies, cowering at both the terrible noise and the collapsing statues around them, cast desperate gazes about the room, trying to see what horror Nightmare Moon had summoned this time. Shadow, as if from nowhere, began to travel across the floor. Soon the entire throne room had been engulfed in darkness. As one, the heroes saw Nightmare Moon’s “greatest creation” and, as one, they knew the true meaning of fear.

Outside, miles away and towering above the city, above the tower, above the mountains, was a vast shadow. Impossibly huge, its size boggled the mind. Its indescribable mass blocked the sun, casting a dark pall over the entire city. Its shape was that of a rounded inverted L, with two tall protusions emerging from the highest point, miles above the surface of the moon, with an immense third spike between them. As it neared the surface, the body of the L thickened and then spread in two directions. Lyra and Bon-Bon were the first to realise what Nightmare Moon had called from its slumber, its shape burned into their mind from too many confrontations to count.

The vast Moonatron head roared, sending a tsunami of dust and rock from its epicentre, shaking the ponies even more violently as the shockwave slammed into the tower and demolished what remained of the surrounding city. And still it continued to pull itself free. The impossible mountain of metal they were seeing, almost continental in scale, was but the tip of the iceberg.

A gargantuan hoof emerged from the moon’s surface in the distance, creating a huge valley as it displaced thousands of tonnes of rock. Crashing back to the surface like a meteor impact, it was followed by a second. Using its revealed front legs, the Moonatron pulled itself free from the moon’s depths like a living mountain range. With every movement, the tower rocked as the steel and magic that formed it struggled to cope with the forces that assaulted it.

At last, the impossible robot stood at its full height. The ponies could do nothing but gape, its sheer size causing the brain to shut down as it tried to process just how big the thing was. Its head now rose far beyond the moon’s atmosphere, and its body was so large, its flanks had disappeared beyond the horizon. It roared again, so far above them they could not even hear it. Nightmare Moon cried out, her voice exultant as the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony and the Princess of the Night cowered at her hooves.

“BEHOLD, MY LABOUR OF A THOUSAND YEARS! BEHOLD... LUNICRON!”

Scene 14

Luna was the first to recover.

“How... How could you build this without our knowledge?!”

Nightmare Moon snorted derisively.

“SILLY PRINCESS, I HAVE CONTROLLED YOU FOR TWO THOUSAND YEARS. YOUR SENSES HAVE LONG SINCE BEEN MY PLAYTHINGS.”

By now, the other ponies had come to their senses and were now glaring at the cackling spirit that threatened them. Lyra called out their aggressor, uncertainty tinging her words.

“Not any more! We kicked you out and now we’re gonna destroy you and your new toy! So come down here and fight!”

The shade raised a vaporous eyebrow.

“WHY SHOULD I FIGHT YOU HERE WHEN I CAN REMOVE THE VERY BASIS OF OUR CONFLICT?”

Bon-Bon joined her partner, questioning Nightmare Moon angrily.

“What do you mean, ‘remove the basis for our conflict? Stop playing games!’”

The shade suddenly smiled with impossible malice, her mouth and eyes widening unnaturally into an awful rictus of hatred.

“WHY, I MEAN ONLY THAT ALL OF YOU, EVEN LUNA, ULTIMATELY FIGHT FOR CELESTIA. FOR THE SUN.”

She began to glow and the wisps of magical smoke that formed her thickened as she gathered her power.

“WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN THERE IS NOTHING TO FIGHT FOR?”

With a flash like that of her exit from Metropony a week before, she blurred into a purple line that streaked through the window as if it were nothing and struck her creation miles away, spreading to infuse the robot with light. As the seven heroes ran to the window, Luna bowing Her head in despair behind, wings the size of countries unfolded from the shoulders of Lunicron, darkening the surface of the moon yet further. They raised, great swathes of blackness blotting out the stars. The ponies, having already witnessed the awesome power Lunicron had at its command, braced themselves.

The wings descended and its legs pushed off from the ground, one mighty leap sending the robot shooting into space. The force of its take-off pounded the ground where it had stood, carving a scar in the land for hundreds of miles. Once more the shockwave caused by its movement tore towards the tower, bringing a wall of dust and rock with it. Luna cried out to Her saviours as it roared closer.

“Everypony, to me!”

They galloped to Her side and She concentrated, a bubble of force much like that Nightmare Moon had created forming around them. The shockwave hit, and with a sound like the earth breaking, the tower was snapped in two as the repeated batterings from Lunicron’s movements and the damage from the rocket crash took their final toll. Slowly, ponderously, the tower’s top half collapsed to the ruins of the moonwraith city, sending plumes of smoke and dust into the cold air as it crushed what traces remained of their nemesis’ legacy.

Inside, the force field was thrown about the room, slamming the ponies within into each other but protecting them from the falling rubble around them. Luna’s teeth were gritted and She almost cried out in pain at the effort of maintaining the field. It seemed that Her years under Nightmare Moon’s control had dampened Her control over Her powers, and She was unable to hold them still amongst the devastation, only protect them from its effects. The unicorns in the group managed to pull themselves together enough to add their magic to Hers, a multi-layered sphere of coloured light surrounding the party and steadying the field until the destruction ceased.

At last, there was quiet, bar the quiet clinking of the last chunks of rubble rolling to a halt. The bubble dissolved and the magical ponies collapsed, sucking great gulps of air into their lungs. Exposed to the harsh lunar desert, they were now dependent on the air in their suits. Luna, it seemed, was protected by her connection with the moon. Or maybe alicorns just didn’t need air. Picking themselves up from the debris, the group looked into the sky at the vast form of Lunicron. Nightmare Moon’s vessel was growing smaller, travelling at astronomical speeds away from the moon and towards its ultimate goal. Lyra turned to her friends, questioning urgently.

“Where’s she going? What is going to do? How are we gonna beat that thing?!”

They all shook their heads dumbly, still awed at Nightmare Moon’s terrible power. Vinyl opened her mouth slowly, as if not wanting to voice the thought that was forming.

“She said that there’d be nothing to fight for. Is she going to... to destroy the world itself?”

Trixie shook her head.

“She can’t be. In all my years of service, both Nightmare Moon and... I beg Your pardon, My Lady...”

She bowed uncomfortably to Luna, who smiled kindly.

“Speak freely, Trixie. What’s past is past.”

“Well, both Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna wanted to rule, not destroy. Even when You were under Nightmare Moon’s influence, My Lady, You only ever asked for control. I don’t think she would destroy a world full of ponies to dominate.”

Bon-Bon made a frustrated noise, the long, long day beginning to wear at her patience.

“Then what does she want?!”

“Oh no.”

Octavia had been staring after the dwindling Lunicron as the discussion continued. Now her face was a picture of fear, Redheart quickly moving to her side as the normally stoic pony went weak at the knees. Vinyl followed, kneeling beside her collapsed partner.

“What’s wrong, Tavi? Are you hurt?!”

Octavia shook her head slowly and swallowed.

“While you were talking, I did some calculations. She’s headed past the planet. And... and when you factor in what she said...”

Luna’s eyes widened as her meaning became clear.

“We fight for our sister, and our sister’s domain... is the sun.”

They all gazed up at the ball of fire that blazed in the darkness of space, bathing the world in the love of Princess Celestia.

“She’s going to destroy the sun.”

Scene 15

“So then I was like, ‘Hey! You bite it, you buy it!’ and she just waltzes off! I tell you, some ponies are just...”

Rose tuned out for a moment. Daisy was one of her closest friends, but she had a tendency to overreact. No doubt the “crazy old lady” she was currently complaining about had a perfectly legitimate reason to be biting saucepans. So far as Rose was concerned, it sounded like a pretty sensible way of testing the strength of the metal, if a little unhygienic. She caught Lily’s eye and stifled a giggle as her pink friend subtly rolled her eyes and made “blah blah blah” faces.

The three ponies were strolling through Metropony’s main shopping district. Once a week, they would close their respective stores early and take a walk around the town, checking out the competition and slipping in a little frivolous spending. It was mainly an excuse for them to enjoy some time together without being exhausted from a full day’s work.

The street darkened as a cloud crossed the sun. The weather had been lovely for months, but winter was approaching and the pegasi had been scheduling more and more rain as the season turned. Rose was already preparing her winter-blooming flowers for sale.

“Girls!”

Her train of thought was interrupted by Daisy calling out sharply. Feeling guilty at her and Lily’s friendly mockery, she descended from her reverie and turned to face Daisy.

“Sorry, Dais, we were just...”

She trailed off as she noticed that her friend was staring at the sky, mouth open in shock. Lily had presumably done the same, but had fainted in the face of whatever she had seen. All around them, ponies were looking upwards, pointing and gasping. Confused, Rose followed Daisy’s gaze. As she realised what was causing the stir in the crowd, she gasped with them.

It was not a cloud that had covered the sun. It was a pony. A winged silhouette partially eclipsed the brilliant orb, casting racing shadows across the city as flapped its wings. Rose realised she was holding her breath and let it out explosively, making Daisy squeak in fear and jump. Clasping a hoof to her chest, her friend gasped at her.

“Don’t... do that...”

Rose apologised and looked back the sky, trying to put her hoof on what was bothering her apart from the fact that apparently there was a giant alicorn in space. The shadows lengthened and she realised in horror.

It was getting darker. She looked at the silhouette in the sky, but it had grown no larger, obscured no more light. The sun, however...

“Daisy, we need to get inside right now.”

Daisy gave a surprised look, taken aback by the forcefulness of Rose’s voice.

“I... we do? What about Lily?”

Rose trotted to her collapsed friend and hoisted her onto her back, easily able to carry the diet-conscious pony despite the chill she was already beginning to feel in her bones. She began to head for home, Daisy following wordlessly as she wove purposefully through the crowd.

Ever since the Lunatron battle had echoed across the city a week previously, Rose had been dreading something like this. For years, she had lamented her extraordinary ability to find herself caught in the frontlines of whatever ridiculous battle Harpflank and Sweets were fighting that week, but now she was thankful. The ponies around her were gawping, taking pictures, but countless months of bad luck had instilled Rose with an almost preternatural sense for danger beyond that of most hardened veterans. Whatever was happening, it was very bad news. Daisy came up beside her, trotting quickly to keep up with Rose’s powerful strides.

“Rose, what’s going on? You’re scaring me.”

Rose smiled at her friend, trying to reassure herself as much as Daisy.

“Just a bad feeling, Dais.”

Daisy nodded slowly, obviously not convinced, but trusting her friend. She, too, had had her share of close calls in the Empire’s attacks.

The shadows deepened as they travelled and, as the city slowly fell into darkness, the sun continued to dwindle in the sky.

Scene 16

“What are we gonna do?!”

Lyra’s words were angry as the hopelessness of their situation weighed on her. Luna was freed, the seven Bearers of the Elements of Harmony were gathered, and Nightmare Moon was no more than a shade of magic, clinging to life. Yet here they stood, trapped on the moon in the wreckage of her stronghold as she worked to end everything they held dear. Trixie and Vinyl were arguing as to the spaceworthiness of the rocket, with Trixie insisting her initial design was strong enough to handle a second takeoff against Vinyl’s protestations that a. the damage was too great and b. the preperations would take far too long. Redheart was still tending to Octavia, who it seemed had been injured more than she had let on when the scientists had been slammed into the door by Nightmare Moon. Derpy stood by Luna, wordlessly supporting the Princess as She recovered from the strain of Nightmare Moon’s exorcism.

“Calm down, Lyra, we’ll think of somethi-”

Bon-Bon tried to placate her partner, her own nerves fraying. Lyra threw her head back in frustration and interrupted.

“Ugh! We don’t have time to ‘think of something!’ That thing is on its way to the sun right now! The rocket’s toast, we’re all wrecked, the Elements didn’t do jack, and even the Princess is barely functioning!”

Bon-Bon snapped, giving in to her frustration at the constant wrong turns the mission had taken.

“Well, what do you suggest we do?! If you want to act so much, then act! Get us into space and after that thing, then we can just blow it out of the sky easily, right?”

Lyra bristled and was about respond when Luna’s voice cut in, Her soft tones calming even Lyra’s anger.

“Please, do not fight! We... I have a plan.”

She gently pushed Derpy away and stood for Herself. Stepping back, the Commander pleaded,

“Please, Your Highness. We... we don’t know what to do.”

The other ponies all stopped their bickering, Derpy’s words reaching the heart of the matter. They turned and awaited the words of their Princess. Luna closed Her eyes.

“I will need your help, My little ponies. What I am about to do goes against every law I am sworn to uphold, every rule My sister and I put in place to safeguard the natural order. And I will need your help.”

The ponies gathered round, kneeling before Her and letting the fear and despair leave them, feeling the power of the Elements rise within them. As they prepared to lend Luna their power, She shook Her head, eyes still closed as She steeled Herself for what was to come.

“No. Follow my lead, but do not give me your strength. We do this together, as friends, and the Elements will respond.”

Vinyl looked up, curiosity implacable as always.

“What are we doing?”

Luna smiled as She felt the power of the Elements around Her and the warmth of the friendship that gave them their power. After a thousand years in the unknowing thrall of Nightmare Moon, She had forgotten this wonderful feeling. She opened Her eyes and took in the seven ponies before Her, glowing with the light of friendship, and an image of six others bathed in the same light briefly flashed through Her mind.

She opened Her eyes, Her smile replaced by a look of infinite determination.

“It is time, Vinyl Scratch, for the moon to rise.”

Scene 17

Rose laid Lily on her bed then moved to the window, leaving Daisy to tend to her fainted friend. She felt slightly callous, but Lily fainting was almost a daily occurrence. It was just how she reacted to things.

It was twilight now, though the sun was still high in the sky. The huge shadow covered more of its surface by the minute as the yellow disc continued to diminish. Behind her, Daisy flicked a light on to counteract the dimming sun. Rose called back to her.

“Is Lily okay?”

Daisy joined Rose at the window, nodding as she looked out at the midday darkness.

“Of course. You know what she’s like with surprises.”

Rose let a small smile escape through the worry. It dropped almost immediately as she watched the sky.

Rising from below the horizon was the silver orb of the moon, clearly visible in the dwindling light. But that didn’t make any sense. Whatever was happening to the sun, it was still midday, far too early for the moon to rise. Not only that, but it was rising fast. It had taken it less than a minute to emerge fully from the horizon, and was now climbing higher and higher in the sky. The pony-shaped shadow obscuring the sun began to move, turning to face the moon as it arced across the sky. She didn’t know if Harpflank and Sweets were involved with this celestial madness, but she hoped like hay they were. Rose came to a sudden realisation as she watched the moon travel across the sky, and felt the words slip out.

“It’s heading straight for it...”

Scene 18

By now, Lunicron was fully visible in the distant sky, the light of the sun shining from its metal flanks. Luna and the Bearers stood in the ruins of the tower, magically anchored to the floor, as the moon tore through space at speeds never before imagined by ponykind.

As soon as Luna had begun, the heroes had known exactly what She was planning. No matter how weak Her magic became, there was one ability She could never lose, one innate responsibility. At first, there had been no sensation of movement. Luna had merely stood and stared at the distant sun, the stars’ positions imperceptibly shifting. One by one, the Bearers had added their power to Hers and the moon had been surrounded by a vast nimbus of light. The colours of the different Elements intertwined and streamed behind it, forming a blazing tail behind the largest projectile ever conceived as it picked up ever more speed.

The wind had whipped at them like a hurricane, threatening to tear them from the ground and hurl them into space, but they had held firm. The wind had ceased when the atmosphere had been stripped from the surface by the phenomenal speed, but the immense forces in play still pushed the magic holding them in place to its limit. Sweat poured from the ponies as alicorn, pegasus, unicorn and earth pony alike all poured everything they had into performing the greatest magical feat ever attempted.

Lunicron turned from the sun, the tendrils of flame it had been slowly absorbing falling back to the roiling surface of the star, and the voice of Nightmare Moon shrieked directly into their minds.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! HOW DARE YOU?!”

The vast alicorn, somehow grown larger from its feast, was now fully as large as the planetary body screaming through space towards it. Purple flame gathered around its horn and the robot fired a beam of purest burning evil. Even as the spear of death pierced the space around the moon, it burst against the magic of friendship and scattered into space, dissolving into nothingness. Lunicron fired again and again, each blast of destruction bouncing harmlessly from the shining sphere. Nightmare Moon continued to scream into the minds of her attackers.

“WHY?! WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO DEFY ME?! DO YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THIS WORLD?! NOTHING ANY OF US DOES HAS ANY MEANING! NOTHING! WE ARE HIS PLAYTHINGS, THE CABARET FOR THEIR FEVERED PRISON! DEATH IS OUR ONLY ESCAPE!”

The eight ponies, Bearers encircling Luna, looked into space and somehow met the eyes of the robot that filled the sky. Vinyl spoke first, her voice crossing the void of space with the aid of the awesome power they currently wielded.

“There’s never only one way!”

Octavia nodded in assent.

“No matter the obstacle, we’ve found a way through.”

Derpy was next, her pride in her friends making her voice tremble.

“Working together, fighting together, we’ve made our own path!”

Redheart was silent, letting the fire in her eyes do the talking.

Lyra’s voice was filled with conviction, her spirit strong as ever.

“Though that path has sometimes been misguided,”

She looked to Bon-Bon, who smiled at her partner in Loyalty before finishing her sentence.

“We have always found our way!”

Trixie, blazing with the power of the Element of Magic, maintaining the magical bond tightly wound with the emotional ties they all shared, joined the chorus.

“That is why your lies could not last! Why your evil has not gone unpunished! You are poison, Nightmare Moon, and friendship is the cure!”

There was a brief moment of relative silence as Luna bowed Her head, summoning the words. Looking up into the eyes of Lunicron, Her gaze pierced to the crystal core where Nightmare Moon’s shade had hidden herself, and even in her rage and hatred, the ghost of magic knew fear.

“We will be free of this nightmare. All of us.”

Nightmare Moon screamed, Lunicron screaming in unison as her essence filled it, trying desperately to find some way to avoid her inevitable fate.

“NO! I AM ETERNAL! I AM NIGHTMARE MOON, AND THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOREVER! FOREVE-”

And then, at last, like a thousand megacellos, like the meteor that killed the dinosaurs, like worlds colliding, like a chunk of rock two thousand miles across burning with friendship crashing into a similarly proportioned robot at speeds hitherto considered impossible...

The moon collided with Lunicron.

Right in the face.

Scene 19

The results were cataclysmic. Lunicron’s head folded like a crushed tin can, collapsing in on itself as the planetoid smashed into it at unfathomable speed. The robot’s body swung around as the moon continued to travel, slamming into the surface and hurling millions of tonnes of debris into space. It crumpled against the moon, twisted into a hunk of wreckage by the immense forces in play. Under Luna’s guidance, the moon decelerated and the defeated machine was lifted from its surface, the force of the impact easily enough to grant it escape velocity. Spinning, the mangled form of Lunicron coasted into the sun, the star flaring swiftly back to its original size as the energy Nightmare Moon had stolen coursed back into it.

The moon continued to slow, eventually reversing and beginning the long, slow journey back to its rightful place in the heavens. Lunicron’s impact had left a vast imprint on the light side, the shape of an alicorn carved into the surface deeply. The Mare In The Moon, finally destroyed forever, had nonetheless left her mark.

Luna and the Bearers collapsed, the tremendous energies that had surged through them exhausting them. They were silent for a moment, lying on their backs in a circle, just taking in their victory and struggling to breath.

Lyra broke the silence.

“I think... I think that was pretty much officially the most awesome thing that will ever happen to anypony ever. Ever.”

Bon-Bon snorted with laughter and then continued in earnest, happiness bubbling up within her. As the relief washed over the battered heroes, they joined her, even the Princess losing all sense of regality and laughing uproariously.

“It certainly was! Can you believe we hit her with the moon?! My sister will be livid!”

The thought of Celestia scolding Luna like a naughty filly, pointing with a scowl to the Luna-shaped crater that now covered one full face of the moon, just made it worse, the ponies doubling over as they slowly came to terms with the fact that at last the world was safe. Even Redheart’s tight smile developed into full-blown chortling. Slowly, the laughter died down and they returned to their original positions, staring into space. Derpy spoke quietly, her voice cracking with emotion.

“It’s over. We actually did it.”

Vinyl sighed happily.

“No more Empire. No more Republic.”

Octavia nudged her playfully.

“No more arms race.”

Trixie chuckled.

“I am always game for a contest, if you think you can best the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

“Any time.”

They laughed, then lapsed into silence again, until Luna stood up and looked down at them warmly.

“I want to thank you again. You have given me the freedom to think for Myself. At first I thought I fought My sister for My own reasons, but even now I doubt Myself. The Six could only seal Nightmare Moon, and I fear that I have never truly been free of her influence.”

She sighed.

“Perhaps, were it not for her, My sister and I would never have come to blows.”

Vinyl picked herself up as well, brushing the moondust from her coat as she stood. Tilting her head inquisitively, she took advantage of the opportunity to question a Princess with no fear of deception.

“You mentioned the Six. Who were they? And what’s up with the holes in our history?”

The other ponies’ ears perked at the question. Perhaps here was where they would find their answers.

Luna looked wistfully into the distance.

“They ar... were the best of ponies. Truly. Never before or since have the Elements been so strongly bonded to their hosts.” She lifted a hoof and began to point at the ponies in turn, listing unfamiliar names as She went. Derpy was first.

“Applejack.”

Vinyl. “Pinkie Pie.”

Octavia. “Rarity.”

Redheart. “Fluttershy.”

Lyra and Bon-Bon stood close together, and she pointed at the two of them in quick succession. “Rainbow Dash.”

Lastly, She pointed to Trixie, who recoiled slightly, as if unwilling to know the name of her legendary predecessor. “Twilight Sparkle.”

She sighed.

“I remember it as if it were yesterday. Free, after a thousand years in the moon. Can you imagine it? Of course you can’t. My sister could do no more than banish Nightmare Moon after years of conflict, yet on the day they met, the Six sealed her so deep I thought she would never rise again. Their friendship was... inspiring, and they saved Equestria so many times.”

The Bearers listened raptly as Luna described figures of misty legend in such familiar terms. It was slowly dawning on them that the Princesses were so much more than just powerful ponies.

The Princess chuckled to Herself.

“Rainbow Dash always called them the Mane Six. Mane as in hair. She thought it was hilarious.”

She shook Her head to clear the memories. Vinyl pressed Her further, eager for answers.

“So did they found the city? All the legends say so and-”

Luna held up a hoof.

“You must understand the state of Equestria, of the world in general, has become... complicated. There are truths about this world that you are quite simply not ready to know. It breaks My heart to say this, but I can tell you no more. I can see where your questioning is headed, Vinyl Scratch. Suffice it to say that, yes, the Six are responsible for Metropony’s creation. The city grew from a village called Ponyville, the Six using their talents to help create and maintain the greatest city this world has ever known, bar perhaps Canterlot. A bastion of Harmony. But then... times changed. The world changed. The cycle changed. I can say no more.”

There was a silence as the ponies digested everything they had been told. That the Six had not only been explicitly real, but directly responsible for everything they had been defending, was a heartening thought. They felt, somehow, part of a legacy.

Their reverie was broken by a crackling roar from above. They all looked up in surprise and what they saw crushed the relief they had so recently felt.

The sun was growing. Slowly, but visibly, it bulged strangely and plumes of flame erupted further than they should, reaching into space like the whipping tendrils of some great creature. Purple lightning crackled across its surface. As it grew, it continued to emit the fiery bellows that had first drawn their attention.

Derpy exclaimed,

“What’s happening?!”

Luna gasped.

“Nightmare Moon must have survived the impact with the moon! When her essence detonated inside the sun, the corrupting nature of her energy has left the sun dangerously unstable! I cannot imagine the pain My sister is feeling right now.”

Lyra cried to the heavens in general in frustration.

“Why can’t we just get a break?!”

They all began to talk at once, desperate to find some solution. Luna made it clear that, while She could take them to Metropony to contact Celestia, if the Princess of the Sun had been able to do anything, She’d have done it already. Vinyl and Trixie slung ideas and insults back and forth while Octavia rummaged through their packs. Derpy and Redheart exchanged worried glances and Lyra just pounded the ground at the universe’s apaprent vendetta against them.

Bon-Bon, however, was silent. She stared at the expanding sun, words from her past blurring in her mind as she tried to bring them forth. Something Nightmare Moon had said was nagging at her, reminding her of something from long ago. In a flash, it came to her.

“When the night seems set to last forever, take a leap of faith...”

Lyra heard her quietly speak the phrase that the sphere of light had told them so long ago and trotted over.

“Wait, isn’t that what that... thing that gave us our powers told us?”

Bon-Bon nodded, brow creased with worry.

“Yeah. We never did find out what that was. I mean... it made us what we are, it made us heroes, but...”

Lyra nodded.

“It’s weird. Scary. I still worry about it sometimes. But... maybe it was right.”

Bon-Bon met her gaze.

“Are you sure? You’re willing to take the word of a mysterious sphere of light that, years ago, stopped time, gave us superpowers, revealed nothing about itself and gave us a cryptic clue that might just apply here?”

Lyra grinned.

“You know me, BB. I’m always ready to take a chance. And... well, if it is all horsefeathers... I think the essence of an Element of Harmony in the centre of that there sun would balance out Nightmare Moon’s energy pretty well, right? And that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

Bon-Bon smiled and, for the first time in the history of their friendship, held up her hoof for Lyra to bump.

“You and me both, Lyra. Harpflank and Sweets, loyal to the end, right?”

Lyra responded to the gesture with gusto. Moving with purpose, the two turned, cut into the heated discussion, and explained their plan.

At first there were strong denials, recriminations. Luna and Trixie, due to their experiences, were particularly wary of trusting mysterious magical entities. The other M.A.R.E. ponies just couldn’t handle the thought of losing their closest friends and greatest heroes. For years, Lyra and Bon-Bon had thrown themselves onto the front-line of the battle for Harmony, thinking nothing of their own safety, but this was too far.

Eventually, Lyra and Bon-Bon talked them down. Their course was chosen, and nopony else could think of anything better. A million-to-one chance was better than no chance.

The ponies stood side-by-side in a line, Luna at their centre. Lyra and Bon-Bon stood before them, the bulging sun at their backs. Vinyl and Octavia stepped forward. Vinyl smiled at Bon-Bon.

“You’ve been great, guys. It’s going to suck without you.”

Lyra interrupted.

“Hey, who says we’re not coming back?”

Vinyl laughed weakly and stepped back as Octavia said,

“Thank you. For... everything.”

The two returned to the line. Redheart gave them a nod and spoke, her beautiful voice unsteady for the first time in anypony’s memory.

“We had better see you again.”

Luna, like Her sister before her, knelt before them.

“The city and the world owe you a debt that it can never repay. All I can give you is the knowledge is that, shall you not return, you will not be forgotten. And neither shall the Six. Whether My sister agrees or not, there are some truths the world can handle, and they shall. In your name.”

She stood and nodded to Derpy. The Commander stepped forward. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. A second time she tried to speak, but still the words wouldn’t come. In the end, she trusted her Element to speak for her. Without a word, she saluted the two, a single tear running from her crossed eyes. They returned the salute, Lyra snapping to attention with textbook precision. Derpy nodded and stepped back.

At last, only Trixie remained. She stayed where she was, and, after a moment’s hesitation, merely said,

“I have tickets for the fair.”

The Great and Powerful Trixie smiled, and Harpflank and Sweets smiled back. Then Trixie, Lyra and Bon-Bon hugged, finally finishing what had begun that day in Flim Flam Funland.

At that, everything was said and done. Lyra and Bon-Bon took in their friends’ faces one last time. Just in case. Lyra placed her hoof on Bon-Bon’s shoulder, concentrated, and in a flash of green light...

They were gone.

Moments later, there was another blinding flash of green light, this time from the sun. The green and cream glow that symbolised the Element of Loyalty emerged from the heaving orange ball and surrounded it. The purple lightning intensified and the surface bulged even more, as if fighting the Harmonious energies that worked to heal it from within. The ponies looked on as the light of Loyalty grew brighter and brighter, outshining even the star it enveloped. The crackling lightning, last remnant of the evil of Nightmare Moon, flared one last time, flailing at the energy that threatened to snuff it out. And then it exploded.

The starburst shot into space in all directions, scattering the same golden particles that had blanketed Metropony after Trixie’s defeat. The sun ceased its tempestuous roiling, finally returning to its normal size and stability. As Luna, Trixie, Vinyl, Octavia, Redheart and Derpy watched, praying for their friends, the twinkling curtain descended upon their world. As the entire planet was showered in the golden light of friendship, the glow took on familiar colours. Multicoloured lines of light surrounded the world, visible to every creature in every nation. Zebras, griffons, dragons, ponies, manticores, phoenixes, bunnies... Every living thing looked up as one and, for one beautiful moment, was at peace, knowing that as long as there was friendship, there was hope.

Double rainbow. All the way across the planet.

Scene 20

Whiteness. Lyra and Bon-Bon stood in an infinite sea of nothingness, able to stand though they could feel no surface beneath them.

“So, uh... what happened?”

Bon-Bon wracked her brain for an answer, but could find nothing.

“I don’t know. You teleported us into the sun and then...”

“We ended up here.”

They looked around again. There was still nothing, just the empty whiteness as far as the eye could see. Their voices were the only sound.

“Maybe we should... look around?”

Bon-Bon looked at her friend with a raised eyebrow, questioning the value of “looking around” in an expanse of featureless emptiness. Lyra shrugged.

“Beats just standing here.”

Bon-Bon couldn’t disagree, and they began to walk. There was no way of telling the time in the whitespace, and they walked for what felt like hours. Eventually, Lyra stamped her hoof in frustration.

“What is this place? Seriously!”

Suddenly, a familiar voice emerged from the nothingness, making both ponies squeak and jump.

“You actually did it?! You jumped into the core of the sun! Oh, that is priceless! You are so much more fun than the other two. All they ever do is sit around in the background.”

Lyra recovered herself and shouted into the emptiness.

“What are you talking about?! Is that you, lightbulb?! Show yourself!”

The voice chuckled.

“Do you know, I think I will.”

There was a strange snapping sound and a flash of white light, barely visible against the whiteness. Lyra and Bon-Bon stepped back as their mysterious benfactor was revealed at last.

Standing several ponies tall, the creature that stood before was a biological mess, comprised of parts of many different animals and monsters. A griffon’s claw, a dragon’s tail, mismatched horns and wings... The chimeric beast defied logic and common sense. It sniffed at their stunned expressions.

“Oh, what’s the matter? Never seen a draconequus before?”

A thought seemed to occur to him.

“Oh wait, this time I never... So I guess you haven’t! My mistake!”

It laughed, a hearty guffaw with a derisive edge to it. Lyra overcame her surprise and snapped at the floating monster before them.

“What are you? You owe us some serious explanation.”

The beast drew itself to its full height nonchalantly. It was, they now realised, really quite tall.

“My name, you’ll be interested to hear, is Discord. I am the Spirit of Chaos, the only living example of a draconequus, and the one who gave you your original powers. Does that answer your question?”

Tapping his chin, Discord seemed to remember something.

“Oh yes, and I created Nightmare Moon.”

The two ponies recoiled, Lyra quickly recovering and slipping into her battle stance.

“You’re to blame?!”

Discord laughed again, that rich belly laugh that made you feel like all the world was laughing at you.

“So aggressive! Yes, Lyra, I am to blame for Luna’s two thousand years of torment. But,”

He waved a cautionary claw as Lyra prepared to leap and Bon-Bon warily took in the situation.

“There’s nothing you can do to me here, so I wouldn’t try. Not if you want the answers you’ve been looking for for so long, anyway.”

Lyra very slowly relaxed. Bon-Bon, more level-headed than her partner as usual, decided to play Discord’s game until they could find a way out of this. If they could find a way out of this.

“Okay, Discord. Have it your way. Why are we here? Where is here?”

The sinuous Discord snaked through the air as he replied, sometimes slithering like a snake and sometimes just swimming in space. It seemed impossible for him to stand still, or perform the same action for anything more than a few seconds.

“You are here because I brought you here, and where here is is quite a difficult concept to explain to someone who can only see in three dimensions. So let’s just call it a space between.”

Lyra sullenly interrupted. She could sense explanations incoming, and she tired of explanations almost as much as she needed answers.

“A space between what?”

Discord looked at her as if she was stupid.

“Between realities, of course.”

He brought his lion’s paw to his mouth in mock shock.

“Oops! Let the big one slip.”

Bon-Bon eagerly pressed him.

“Realities? You mean we’re in between dimensions?”

Discord thought for a moment, backstroking above them.

“Actually, no. More like the space between the words and the page. But I’ll leave Celestia to explain that one to you. Or not. She’s always been one for secrets.”

Lyra snarled.

“You promised us answers, so give us some answers!”

Even as she spoke, there was a noise like a whipcrack and suddenly Discord was right in front her, his face dwarfing hers as he leaned in so close their noses touched and a claw pressed against her neck.

“Careful, Lyra. I’m feeling generous right now, but the funny thing about Chaos is that its mood can change like that.”

Lyra, stunned at the speed the draconequus had shot past her defenses, nodded slowly.

In a flash, Discord was several feet away and upside down.

“Like so! Now, you wanted an infodump? I can give you an infodump.”

Another flash, and a chart appeared in midair beside him, on which was displayed what looked like a timeline.

“Okay, fillies, settle down and listen to teacher. Let’s start from now and work backwards, shall we? Starting from the beginning would make more sense, but that’s not really my game. One thousand years ago, Nightmare Moon is freed from her imprisonment by “the stars” - hint hint, actually me - and sealed in sweet little Luna by, gag, friendship until she resurfaces once the Six are dead and the Elements hostless again.

Two thousand years ago, Nightmare Moon appears for the first time, causing Luna to actually become any fun, and the Princesses duke it out until Celestia banishes Her.”

By now, Discord had conjured a pair of prim spectacles and a pointer and was tapping the chart as he spoke.

“An unspecified amount of time earlier, I create Nightmare Moon from a piece of my spirit and plant her in Luna.”

Bon-Bon held her hoof in front of Lyra, who was visibly restraining herself.

“Around about that time,”

The draconequus face darkened, and his voice lost its jovial edge.

“Celestia sticks me in a statue for thousands of years and leaves me in her garden to rot.”

There was a moment of silence as Lyra and Bon-Bon took in Discord’s words. Lyra snapped at him.

“So, what? You want revenge? If you created Nightmare Moon I can’t imagine Celestia had no reason to seal you up.”

Discord laughed again.

“My, you ponies really don’t know your cosmology do you? I’m only telling you this to make the next part more interesting, but I suppose I have to start from the basics!”

He fliped the chart to reveal a Venn diagram. One circle was black, the other a riot of colour. The segment where they intersected had tiny cartoon pictures of the two Princesses.

“The universe is made up of Harmony and Chaos, with a spirit representing each. I am Chaos, the Elements are Harmony. Easy enough? The Princesses mediate, ensuring neither force becomes too powerful.”

The chart poofed out of existence, and Discord folded his arms.

“Now you figure the rest out, this is getting dull.”

Bon-Bon spoke slowly, unsure of how to approach the discussion. Discord seemed more dangerous by the minute, but also vastly powerful, and the only way forward seemed to be to keep him interested.

“So... thousands of years ago, you did something that threw the balance out and the Princesses sealed you. But you had already created Nightmare Moon, corrupting a mediator. She was filled with Chaos and Celestia banished her, until you somehow got free and released her a thousand years ago, when she was sealed for another thousand years until we destroyed her... just now.”

Discord clapped and somersaulted.

“I do love hearing a plan come together! I’ll finish off for you. The accumulated Chaos from Nightmare Moon’s insurrections allowed me to make some fundamental changes to the nature of reality and make myself more powerful than you, the Princesses or even I could ever imagine and now I rule your world from the shadows. Also, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it because I have become so powerful I can do things like this.” He snapped his claw as he finished.

There was a moment of silence.

“Like what?”

Lyra was wary but confused. Nothing had happened.

Discord facepawed.

“Ugh, ponies. It’s a wonder you can even see me.”

He snapped his claw again and sighed.

Bon-Bon furrowed her brow.

“Why are you telling us all this? If you’re so evil, why explain?”

Discord looked down at his wrist, where a watch had materialised.

“Oh, look at the time, that’s the end of the Q&A! Too bad. Time to go home, ponies! I’ll give you some last little tidbits before you go, though. First, I’m telling you all this because I’ve been getting bored. I’ve had the run of the place for a thousand years, and though the last few years were a little spicy after I gave you powers, they got samey. Trixie throws out a robot, you blow it up, yawn. Now you have a mystery to hunt! How did I get free? What did I mean when I talked about ‘life and the dream’? Will you ever be able to beat me? Second, you won, by the way. The power of your Element was enough to neutralise Nightmare Moon’s energy, destroying one of my most effective servants. Oh well.”

He shrugged.

“And lastly, I’m going to set you a little challenge.”

Suddenly, the draconequus radiated malice, his vicious aura an almost physical presence.

“I’m going to send you back so that you can tell Celestia, Luna, and the other Elements that Discord is back, that he’s not going to play the hiding game any more, and... and this is the best part... that he has already won. The Princesses know why, and do you know what? I bet they won’t tell you.”

Lyra and Bon-Bon began to fade, their vision blurring as they fell out of phase with the Space Between and Discord waved a white handkerchief, pretending to tear up. Just before they winked out of existence, Discord perked up, seeming to remember something.

“Oh! And I’ll tell you why, if I’m so invincible, I let you build such a big ol’ Harmonious city.”

The last thing they saw was his grin widening and eyes narrowing as the feeling of hatred washed over what little senses they had left.

“Subverting Harmony is much more fun than replacing it.”

And then they were gone.

As soon as they had vanished, Discord dropped the angry face and conjured a chair, sitting down and sipping the chocolate milke he had brought into existence moments later. He looked around the vast and infinite emptiness.

“Well, that went well.”

Scene 21

The procession moved slowly across the plaza surrounding Celestia Tower to the sound of the dirge. Thousands of ponies, all dressed in black uniform, lined the route. Atop a makeshift dais, Luna and Celestia stood, heads bowed in respect. Flanking them were the remaining Elements of Harmony, each dressed in their finest funeral wear.

The procession neared the dais and they could at last see the coffin clearly. Inscribed with a lyre and a set of three wrapped sweets, they watched it solemnly. Though the sorrow still bit at them the state funeral for Harpflank and Sweets, Metropony’s greatest heroes, was, for them, a mere formality. They had said their goodbyes on the moon.

The coffin-bearers reached the foot of the dais and reverently lowered it to the ground. The Princesses raised their heads, and Celestia stepped forward.

The eulogy was short and vague. There was not a pony in M.A.R.E. who hadn’t considered Lyra and Bon-Bon a close friend, and the Commander had insisted that anything said over their coffin would let anyone watching make their own peace. Several ponies in the crowd began to cry. Celestia took her position again and nodded to Derpy.

The Commander fluttered from the dais to stand by the coffin and took a deep breath. She saluted the coffin, giving her friends one last send-off. With a rustle of clothing that could be heard from blocks away, the ponies of M.A.R.E. saluted their departed. The soothing rays of the sun that they had saved bathed the funeral in its light.

Gasps rippled through the crowd as a snapping sound echoed through the plaza and a flash of bright white light burst over the coffin, leaving Lyra and Bon-Bon standing on top of their coffin, looking slightly dazed.

There was a moment of silence that felt like an infinity. Lyra looked around at the thousands of ponies, hooves still held incredulously up in salute. She grinned.

“Hey, sweet, look at the welcoming committee!”

Derpy, who had fallen back in shock, fluttered upright and lifted herself to their level.

“It’s not a welcoming committee, it’s your funeral!”

Bon-Bon blinked.

“Funeral? But we only just left!”

Derpy looked at her, eyes crossing even further in confusion.

“Only just le... You’ve been gone for a month.”

Lyra kicked her own coffin, causing the entire crowd to wince instinctively.

“A month? Man, if I see that Discord again, I’m gonna-”

Celestia gasped loudly, calling down as Luna’s eyes widened in shock.

“Discord? You met Discord?!”

Bon-Bon nodded, kneeling in respect.

“Yes, Your Highness. It’s a long sto-”

She too was interrupted, this time by bolts of blue plasma shooting from the sky to strike Celestia Tower, scorching the white surface but causing no major damage. The crowd looked around, almost unanimously pulling guns from hidden holsters. M.A.R.E., after all, was M.A.R.E..

The Elements had leapt to surround the Princesses, readying weapons and devices, prepared to defend them from the new threat.

Three high-pitched voices echoed across the plaza.

“Are you sure you calibrated these correctly, AB?”

“Ah sure did, and ah don’t like your tone implyin’ I didn’t!”

“Guys, shut up, I already turned the microphone on!”

The funeral, returned deceased and all, stared in the direction of the voices, the danger suddenly not seeming so urgent.

“Well, turn it off!”

“I tried! There’s too many buttons!”

“Ah only built it with one button!”

“Ugh, let’s just make the entrance already!”

“Okay, let’s do this!”

From a nearby rooftop, three jets roared into life, and with a whoosh three suits of powered armour descended, gadgets and weapons covering every inch. The ponies of M.A.R.E. found themselves utterly unable to believe what they were seeing, unsure whether to fire or laugh. The powered armours were tiny, no larger than fillies. Hovering above the dais, they struck a pose, sun gleaming from their armour. One of the armoured children, voice cracking, spoke in a dramatic tone that gave Trixie a run for her money.

“Tremble in fear, Metropony, for today you witness the genesis of...”

The three weaponised fillies changed their pose and cried in unison,

“Cutie Mark Crusader City Conquerors! Yaaay!”

There was another, even more torturous silence.

“Ah don’t think they’re takin’ us seriously, guys.”

The third armour, the one with space for wings, did a jetpack-assisted somersault.

“Well, we’ll make ‘em take us seriously!”

At the apex of her loop, she fired a barrage of missiles that sent nearby buildings crumbling to the ground. Immediately, M.A.R.E. reacted, but the fillies were too small and fast even for the massed weaponry of the gather organisation. They zoomed out of range at high speed.

Lyra and Bon-Bon exchanged glances.

“Fun never stops, huh, BB?”

“Discord can wait.”

As the ponies around them threw off their formal clothes and began to mobilise, as the Princesses stepped back to allow the ponies they had entrusted their world to to do their jobs, as the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony began to strategise, Lyra and Bon-Bon leapt into action, galloping through the crowd and after the CMCCC almost faster than the eye could see.

The battle against Nightmare Moon was over. But in the shadows was the threat of Discord, and Metropony still had no shortage of dangers. As the wind whipped at their manes and they dodged the fire of the flying fillies above them, the two ponies grinned at each other. They were back, and they were ready to continue to serve the city they had served with for years with every fiber of their being. They turned back to the threat ahead, and galloped into the future, whatever it held.

Harpflank and Sweets. Taking down crime, one week at a time.

Harpflank and Sweets: The Movie - The Mare In The Moon

CAST AND CREW:

Lyra as: Herself

Bon-Bon as: Herself

Vinyl Scratch as: Herself

Octavia as: Herself

Derpy Hooves as: Herself

Redheart as: Herself

The Great and Powerful Trixie as: The Great and Powerful Trixie

The Cutie Mark Crusaders as: Themselves

WITH SPECIAL GUEST STARS -

Princess Celestia as: Princess Luna

and

Princess Luna as: Princess Celestia

[ Credits continue ]

Director: Snap Cut

SPECIAL THANKS: Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Flim Flam Films, the Princesses, Spike the dragon, Ponyville’s Mayor, Sweet Apple Acres and all of you.

Epilogue

Dearest Princess Celestia,

I am not sure if You remember me, but I am a junior librarian in your castle, recently transferred from Metropony. We met when You were searching for a book on the Elements of Harmony, but that’s not important. I am writing to inform You that I have discovered several large gaps in our catalogue that I can’t believe haven’t gone unnoticed. The entire history section is a shambles, with many books missing, and what few we do have are often damaged beyond repair. I am aware that You are a very busy and important pony, the most busy and important pony, but this library is an important part of Your castle and our heritage and I can’t stay quiet any longer. I apologise for my forthrightness.

Your faithful servant,

Twilight Sparkle.

Coming soon: Harpflank and Sweets - Season 2!

Episode 19: Under Siege Under The Sea

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS... I DON’T KNOW, GO FOR A SWIM?

by Arcainum

Opening Titles

Metropony City! Mighty skyscrapers towering over the millions of ponies going about their lives on the streets below! Working, playing or just taking in the weather, Metropony bustles as only the big city can. But! All is not well in this equine metropolis! Below the streets lies a threat - a threat to the happiness and friendship of good ponies everywhere! And the name of that threat is Luna, the exiled Princess who has returned with vengeance in her eyes! With the aid of Her villainous helper Trixie and her army of terrible Lunatrons, She will stop at nothing to destroy the pony way of life! Standing against her, however, are two heroic mares, known only to the citizens of Metropony as...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: EPISODE 19 - UNDER SIEGE UNDER THE SEA

Scene 1

“You want me to go where?”

Trixie stared at her mistress, not sure if she’d heard correctly. The Princess Luna, seated atop Her mighty throne, sighed in exasperation.

“YOU HAVE EARS, DO YOU NOT? WE WISH YOU TO TRAVEL TO AQUASTRIA AND ENSLAVE THE SEA PONIES.”

Trixie was silent for a few moments before very, very carefully voicing her main concern with Luna’s latest plan to usurp Her sister’s rule.

“My Lady... Aquastria is underwater.”

“AND?”

The Princess was looking down at her dangerously, and Trixie fought to find the most respectful way of pointing out that this was something of a silly plan. She settled on,

“There are, um... difficulties that will present. Of course, The Great and Powerful Trixie can overcome any obstacle, but-”

“EXCELLENT! THEN THERE IS TO BE NO DELAY!”

Trixie opened her mouth to speak again, then gave up. There was no doubt some ingenious scheme behind the Princess’ lunacy, though Trixie certainly couldn’t see it. Trusting in her mistress despite the long list of problems she would have to solve before this plan became even remotely possible, Trixie bowed and turned to leave.

There was one benefit to this odd mission. Aquastria was miles away, and deep below the ocean’s surface. The accursed Harpflank and Sweets would be unable to interfere. Trixie smiled contentedly as she trotted towards her lab. Perhaps this would be a good week after all.

Scene 2

“You want us to go where?”

Derpy winced at the volume of Lyra’s eager response. Pressing the switch for the screen on the back wall of her office, the Commander continued her brief to the backdrop of a vast underwater city. Bon-Bon eyed her partner as Lyra gazed open-mouthed at the vista onscreen.

“We’ve received a message from Aquastria, capital city of the sea pony kingdoms. They have reason to believe that Luna has Her eyes on-”

Lyra interrupted, practically bouncing with excitement.

“Seriously though, Aquastria? How did they get the message to you? Do we actually get to go there? Will we get to meet the sea ponies? Oh, man, I can’t believe we’re gonna get to meet the... sea...”

She trailed off as Bon-Bon and Derpy stared at her, Derpy with her hoof still half-pointed at the screen. Bon-Bon stifled a laugh.

“Reminds me of the day we met. You wouldn’t stop talking about them.”

Lyra coughed and seemed to calm down, muttering to herself nonetheless.

“Just because I got hobbies...”

The picture onscreen changed to that of a refined-looking sea pony. Bon-Bon, whose only experiences with the fourth pony sub-species had been extensive lectures at the obsessive hooves of Lyra, took the opportunity to study one in detail.

The head and mane were like any other pony’s, but there the similarities ended. Where a land-based pony’s legs would be the sea pony had nothing, its body tapering down into a strong tail that curled in on itself to form a tight loop. Two wide fins extended from its midriff, as if the wings of a pegasus had been moved closer to the belly. It also, Bon-Bon was surprised to notice, did not have a cutie mark. Whether this was unique to the pony onscreen or a feature of the species as a whole, she didn’t know. The overall effect was mildly unsettling, the similarities to land ponies just great enough for the differences to jar.

Derpy, meanwhile, had continued.

“As I was saying, we’ve received a message from their leader, Typhoon. He believes Luna has Her eyes on Aquastria, and he wants our help.”

Bon-Bon nodded, already running through potential issues in her head. Most of the practical concerns could be solved with ExTech’s expertise, but there were political considerations to factor in.

“The sea ponies have always been staunchly independent. Why contact us now?”

Derpy smiled, pleased at Bon-Bon’s mental acuity.

“They may be independent, but they’ve been watching. They know what the Empire can do. There are still opponents to outside help, which is why this message didn’t come through official channels.”

The Commander’s eyes uncrossed, a sure sign that she was serious.

“Typhoon is willing to overturn thousands of years of tradition based on your results, so you’d better deliver, girls. Remember, you’re ambassadors as well as reinforcements. You have to show the sea ponies that we can stand together against Luna’s machinations.”

Bon-Bon saluted, and Lyra followed suit after a surreptitious prod brought her out of her sulk. She grinned, mood as changeable as ever.

“We won’t let you down, Commander. This is gonna be awesome.”

Scene 3

“Well, this sucks.”

The rain lashed down. Great sheets of water drenched every inch of the two ponies huddled on the large jetty extending from the shore. The ocean before them churned as the storm raged with the ferocity that only those at sea could.

As the M.A.R.E-commandeered train had carried Lyra and Bon-Bon further and further from Metropony the weather had gotten worse and worse, and their spirits with it. Even Lyra’s enthusiasm had been no match for the constant drumming of the rain and the last few hours of the journey had been spent in silence, Bon-Bon poring over her notes and Lyra staring at the passing countryside sullenly. At last they had, led by a shifty-looking fisherpony who had spoken almost entirely in “Arr”s and demanded an exorbitant bribe before even acknowledging that such a thing as a jetty could even exist, arrived at this run-down and crumbling mess of planks sticking out over the heaving waves.

Lyra tapped her hoof impatiently, every impact sending water splashing up into Bon-Bon’s face, who irritably told her to cut it out.

“But this is so boring. We spent all that time travelling to this Celestia-forsaken hole, and now we’re standing in the rain waiting for... I don’t even know! Not even sea ponies are worth this.”

Bon-Bon shrugged, unable to find much merit in their situation either. A hint of worry nagged at her. Though they had left immediately to prevent such a thing, had Luna already made her move? Perhaps they had received the message too late, and Trixie was even now laying waste to Aquastria while they stood above the waves, unable to help? Though Vinyl Scratch had insisted that their costumes new built-in rebreathers and anti-pressure systems would keep them safe and breathing at even the most crushing depths, the distances involved were simply too great. By the time they could swim to the underwater city, which they did not even know the location of, any crisis would long since be over.

Her thought process was interrupted by a yelp from Lyra as the water at the foot of the jetty began to seethe, furiously bubbling and frothing the waves around it.

“What is it, Lyra?”

“I don’t know, but it’s big!”

They readied themselves for battle, settling into combat stances with practised ease.

Their fears were soon assuaged, however, as the bubbling ceased and was replaced by a strange sight. A giant clam large enough to hold several ponies broke the surface, bumping against the wooden supports of the jetty. As Lyra and Bon-Bon exchanged glances, the clam opened to reveal the pink flesh within, which upon closer inspection seemed suspiciously shaped like...

“A sofa? A clam sofa? Okay, this was worth it.”

Lyra, it seemed, had regained her enthusiasm, and hopped from the wooden platform to the soft interior of the clam before Bon-Bon could stop her. She bounced a few times, testing the surface.

“Aww, this is so cool. You have to get in here, BB.”

Eyeing the biological transport with a hint of revulsion, Bon-Bon carefully jumped down, shuddering at the touch of the living floor beneath her hooves. She fastened her mask in place and flicked the air supply on, motioning Lyra to do the same. According to the briefing, they wouldn’t need the rebreathers once they reached Aquastria proper thanks to unspecified sea pony magic, but in the open sea they were by themselves. She looked around, pondering their next move.

“So... how do we move it?”

At her words, the clam jerked into motion, sinking under the waves before Bon-Bon could squeak in surprise. As the cold waters enveloped them, the sound of the rain ceased abruptly and soon all the heroes could see before them was the endless darkness of the deep sea.

Scene 4

The journey was possibly the most terrifying of Bon-Bon’s life. The darkness around them was absolute, pierced only by the thin beams of the waterproof torches in their packs. Lyra gazed around her with great interest, gasping in wonder at every spindly creature that undulated past them. The clam had not closed, but the flesh they stood on exerted tiny amounts of pressure on their hooves, holding them in place against the occasional strong current. Bon-Bon couldn’t for the life of her work out why the sea ponies had insisted on a view when there was nothing to see. Perhaps they had strongly developed night vision? It would make sense at the depths they lived at.

“Hey, BB, how come we haven’t seen anything of the city yet? Surely there’s, like, lights and stuff.”

“I’m not sure. Maybe it’s... just a long way down?”

Lyra shrugged, dismissing her own question and continuing her piecemeal examination of their surroundings. Suddenly, her horn began to glow faintly. She crossed her eyes in an effort to look at her own forehead in surprise.

“Whoa! Never had that happen before.”

Bon-Bon looked at her partner in worry.

“Why is your horn glowing by itself? I’ve never heard of that.”

Lyra waved a hoof to calm her down and answered thoughtfully.

“I’m not sure. Vinyl once told me that once or twice that when she was dealing with major magic in experiments and stuff, her own magic kinda reacted. I guess that’s what’s happening now.”

“But... what are you reacting to?”

“No idea. Could be-”

Before Lyra could speculate any further, they were suddenly blanketed with a wonderful warmth that swept away the chill that had seeped into them from the ocean waters. At the same time, Aquastria appeared below them.

As if a curtain had been swept aside, Lyra and Bon-Bon could now see the city stretched across the ocean floor. In a moment of whimsy, Bon-Bon was reminded of a huge sheet of bubble wrap. Huge clear domes, filled with undersea greenery, dotted a huge expanse of coral that grew in thick veins across the surface of the ‘bubbles’. Inside and out, groups of sea ponies swam gracefully about their duties. Outside, hundreds tended to the coral garden that formed the foundation of their home, and guards wielding spears and harpoon guns patrolled the outskirts. Within, blurred forms could be seen playing, training and relaxing.

At the very centre of the collection of buildings was a dome larger than the rest, and the coral surrounding it carved into huge living statues of what Bon-Bon assumed were ancient sea pony heroes performing deeds of legend, battling giant sharks, mighty octopuses and, in some cases, other sea ponies. Lyra let out a low trembling whistle, barely able to contain herself.

“This is the best mission ever. Fact.”

Bon-Bon caught herself before she nodded in agreement. The city was beautiful, a beacon of light in the black ocean around them, but now was not the time to be taking in the sights. They had an alliance to form.

The clam was nearing the border of the city now, drawing level with the top of the palace-like structure in the centre, and suddenly a beam of light shone from an opening in the surface of the bubble. The two ponies had to cover their eyes briefly, blinking their vision back as the light faded and revealed a group of sea ponies at least twenty strong. Bon-Bon whispered to Lyra out of the corner of her mouth.

“Welcoming committee?”

“I don’t know, BB. They don’t look friendly.”

“Better brace ourselves for a f-”

Without warning, the sea ponies developed huge smiles and Bon-Bon was interrupted by the sound of their unified voices, somehow clear as a bell through the water, ringing out in... tune?

“SHOOP BEE DOO, SHOOP SHOOP BE-”

--------------------

Due to overwhelming fan demand, the following 1:15 has been cut from this broadcast.

--------------------

“-GNAL SOS, OH YES!”

The music ceased and the sea ponies held their final positions, fins making jazz-hooves motions. Lyra and Bon-Bon stared, mouths hanging open. They looked at each other, then at the still-posing sea ponies, then back to each other. Lyra began to speak, then stopped. Bon-Bon moved to reply, but couldn’t find the words. There was a silence deeper than the ocean they stood within.

Finally, Lyra managed to dredge up the word,

“... Wow.”

Bon-Bon nodded.

“Yes. Wow. That was... amazing.”

Lyra also nodded, head bobbing furiously as if to shake the words free.

“I... that... wow.”

At their apparently positive response, the sea ponies all clapped their fins together and celebrated, giving each other “yay”s of encouragement and somersaulting in the water. The lead vocalist, a dark blue mare with her pink mane tied with a bow, swam up to the clam and spread her fins wide.

“Welcome to Aquastria! I’m Seawinkle, and I’ve been appointed to be your guide to our wonderful city! Isn’t that great?”

Lyra and Bon-Bon continued to nod, unable to do anything but plaster a smile to their faces before Seawinkle’s unbridled enthusiasm. With artificial brightness, dreading what was to come with all her heart, Bon-Bon agreed.

“Lead the way!”

Scene 5

The tour was surprisingly interesting, even filtered through Seawinkle’s suffocating friendliness. First they were led to the great vats where the mulch that seemed to be the sea pony’s only source of nourishment was grown, large pipes pumping in Celestia-knew-what from the ocean outside to feed the pulsing green masses in the clear tubes. Then they had moved to the residential areas, where the sea ponies apparently lived in caves bored into the ocean floor. Seawinkle had insisted on showing them the inside of one of these caves, and they had been amazed to discover a room within almost the mirror of a Metropony apartment.

After a brief foray into the beautiful gardens that were the apparent centre of sea pony recreation, Seawinkle turned to them and eagerly questioned them.

“So, what do you think of Aquastria? Isn’t it great?”

Bon-Bon nodded, unable to deny the underwater city’s charms despite her misgivings about the whole situation.

“You’ve certainly got something amazing down here. That only makes it more important that we complete our mission. Can we meet Typhoon yet?”

At the mention of Typhoon, Seawinkle’s smile faded slightly.

“Ah, well, that’s where we’re going next, but...”

Lyra, who had been torn between her delight at being at the centre of sea pony culture and how intensely annoying she found Seawinkle, cut in.

“But what? Your place is sweet, but we’re here for a reason. Why the delay?”

Seawinkle fidgeted, obviously uncomfortable with Lyra’s confrontational tone.

“Well, Commander Typhoon is a bit... a bit... unpopular.”

She spoke as if even suggesting as such was high treason. Lyra gave her a flat look.

“Unpopular.”

Seawinkle nodded sadly.

“Very. He keeps saying how we need to have more contact with you land ponies, and not everyone is very happy about that.”

Bon-Bon raised an eyebrow.

“And what do you think?”

Their guide blushed and waved her fins placatingly.

“Oh, I’m behind Commander Typhoon all the way! I love meeting new ponies, and if we open our borders, think how many new friends we can make!”

A chorus of gasps interrupted her, followed by a male voice, cracked with age but with a strength that belied years of hardship.

“That’s enough, Seawinkle. Let us not discuss matters of state in a public park, hmm?”

They turned to face the newcomer, and were greeted by an impressive sight.

The sea pony leader was taller than anypony they had yet met in the city, and dressed in ceremonial armour that gleamed in the bright light of the glowing garden. His coat was the same colour as Seawinkle’s, though his mane was a much deeper shade of pink, almost crimson. Seawinkle herself hung her head.

“Sorry, Father.”

Lyra and Bon-Bon blinked at this turn of events. Before they could say anything, Typhoon had turned from his daughter and addressed them.

“You must be Lyra and Bon-Bon. Or is it Harpflank and Sweets? Please, follow me. We have much to discuss.”

He turned and began to swim in the direction of the palace. Glancing at each other, the two ponies followed suit, Seawinkle trailing behind them with a strange look on her face. It seemed there was more to the situation than their briefing had made clear.

Scene 6

Typhoon led them to a room near the top of the palace in which more coral statues of presumably famous sea ponies adorned the clear walls, looking out across the underwater metropolis. He began to swim back and forth in a manner reminiscent of an earth pony pacing, and Lyra and Bon-Bon settled into the chairs that had obviously been hastily carved for them. Whatever ambient magic had kept them anchored to the floor so far seemed to work on everything, as if they were already prepared to allow other ponies into their haven. At last, Typhoon spoke.

“It’s important for you to realise what an event your presence here is. No creature from above the waves has entered Aquastria in recorded history. We have maintained complete autonomy and neither affected nor been affected by the surface. Until now.”

He moved to an alcove in the wall and pulled out a slip of paper with his tail, wrapped in the same soft clear material that formed the walls of the city’s domes to protect it from the water. He handed it to Bon-Bon, who read the message aloud, ignoring the fact that every word was fully capitalised.

“The Princess Luna, rightful ruler of Equestria and all attendant territories, hereby demands that you acquiesce all dominion to Her and implement the following changes to your government to suit The Luna Empire’s needs, to be ensured by the impending arrival of Her most loyal servant, The Great and Powerful Trixie:”

A long and slightly eclectic list followed, with plans for industrialisation and militarisation alongside the banning of Casual Fridays and cessation of all singing. Bon-Bon secretly agreed with the last. She looked up at Typhoon, who was watching them with an unreadable expression.

“So, you received this message and contacted us. Don’t take this the wrong way, we’re happy to help, but can’t you defend yourselves?”

Typhoon sighed and moved to the wall, gazing out at the city he ruled.

“Seclusion has its disadvantages. We have remained safe, but we have also... weakened. We live in harmony with the creatures of the sea, and have had no contact with the surface in thousands of years. Almost everypony here barely knows the meaning of the word 'danger'. Even the guards outside only have what training I can give them. I myself was raised outside the city, for... various reasons. The ocean beyond is a cold and unforgiving place and if things continue as they are now, my people will no longer be in a position to deal with the inevitable. Something will go wrong, maybe already has, and I want us to be ready. So, Harpflank and Sweets.”

He turned to face them again and bent double, bowing respectfully before drawing himself back up to his full height.

“I officially open relations between our two kingdoms. You may ask of us what you wish, with our only demand being protection from the Empire.”

There was a heavy silence as Typhoon finished his momentous proclamation. Lyra and Bon-Bon looked at each other, then Lyra spoke.

“Okay, cool.”

Typhoon blinked, uncertain of what to make of her blunt response.

“I beg your pardon?”

Lyra shrugged.

“Sounds like a plan. Like Seawinkle said, more ponies means more friends. Sure, you live all the way under the sea and are way, way too happy, but we’ve got everything we need up top. So let’s just be friends, Equestria and Aquastria.”

Bon-Bon nodded.

“We’ll keep you safe, teach you how to defend yourselves.”

Typhoon smiled warmly, the first sign of true emotion they had seen him show.

“Thank goodness. I had feared that the stories of fierce, marauding land ponies were true. Your Luna’s message only reinforced my worries.”

Lyra scoffed.

“Ah, the Empire’s no big deal. Beat down whatever Trixie throws at you this week and you’re go-”

The sound of an explosion, muffled by the water, shook the room. Typhoon span around to face the city again, Lyra and Bon-Bon racing to his side to discover the source of the noise. Below them, a garden dome mercifully free of ponies was crumbling, the winding coral cracking and falling apart as the bubble within collapsed. Above the destroyed city segment was a large metal shape, floating in the blackness menacingly with searchlights beaming from its beady eyes and roaming across the city. A familiar voice boomed out across Aquastria.

“Sea ponies! Surrender immediately to The Great and Powerful Trixie and you will not be harmed!”

Lyra and Bon-Bon met each other’s eyes, nodded, and ran for the exit. Bon-Bon called over her shoulder to the sea pony leader, still gaping at the destruction that had come to his city.

“Typhoon! Get your people somewhere safe, we’ll handle this!”

And then they were outside, swimming through the opening in the palace’s bubble that had allowed them entry. Closer to, Trixie’s latest creation was fully discernible. Two claws extended from a long, segmented body with spindly legs curled beneath it. Lyra made an exasperated noise through her mask.

“A Lobstertron?! It’s always robots with you!”

At the sound of her voice, the sea pony magic carrying it to the metal lobster clearly, it turned to face them as Trixie exclaimed in surprise.

“Harpflank and Sweets?! What are you doing here?!”

The two heroes reached back to their packs and flicked a switch. The packs began to whir as the surface peeled back to reveal twin propeller cylinders. Bon-Bon nodded to her partner.

“Same thing we do every week, Trixie! Trying to protect the world!”

With a whoosh, the two ponies shot through the water as their underwater jetpacks span into life. The Lobstertron clacked its claws aggressively, the clang of metal on metal dull and tinny in the deep ocean. As the two heroes neared the machine, it swung at them, trying to enclose them in its pincers. But the two ponies were too fast, their weaving paths leaving a white streak of bubbles behind them, drawing patterns in the water around the enemy. The mechanical lobster span clumsily in the water, unable to keep up with the speeding heroes. Trixie grunted with exertion as she worked the controls, frustration clear in her voice.

“Can I not escape your meddling under the blasted ocean?! I will end this once and for all!”

The lobster ceased its attack, and Lyra and Bon-Bon swooped in for the kill, hooves held forward to crush the robot’s head in a pincer attack. Without warning, the Lobstertron shot backwards in a flurry of bubbles, and the heroes collided, knocking the wind out of them. Blue light shone from the robot’s head and, while Lyra and Bon-Bon were still gasping, a bright beam pierced the water. Without thinking, Lyra threw Bon-Bon out of the way with all her might. The beam enveloped her, and Bon-Bon screamed.

“Lyra! No!”

Trixie’s laughter washed over her as Bon-Bon watched in horror.

“At last! My victory is complete! With Harpflank’s defeat, I can... hang on.”

Trixie cut herself off as the beam faded and, rather than the drifting ash that she had expected, a green shape could be seen. Both Bon-Bon and Trixie stared at the shape as it straightened out of the protective huddle it had curled into. Lyra turned to face Bon-Bon urgently.

“Thought I was a goner! Quick, BB, let’s... what are you looking at?”

She looked at the robot, which was hanging in the water, clawed limbs limp as if mirroring Trixie’s confusion.

“What?”

At last, she finally looked down at herself.

“Ah!”

Where her back legs had been was a long tail, her coat giving way to scales as her body tapered to a point. She tried to throw her forelegs up in confusion and slapped herself in the face with her fins.

“Ah!”

Panicking, she began to spin on the spot, unable to right herself as she struggled with her new anatomy.

“Why am I a sea pony?!”

Trixie collected herself, voice triumphant again.

“Um, yes! Cower in fear! You are powerless before my Death... uh... Transform-O-Ray!”

Bon-Bon’s gaze flicked between the robot readying itself for battle and her transmogrified comrade. Before she could make a decision, a deep voice rang out through the water.

“Sea ponies! Attack!”

“Oh, what now?”

Rising from the ocean floor was an army. A small army, but an army nonetheless. Almost two hundred sea ponies swarmed upwards, with Typhoon at their head. It seemed he had gathered every guard in the city and rallied them while Lyra and Bon-Bon battled Trixie.

And apparently mounted them on sharks.

Each and every armoured sea pony had their tail wrapped around the body of a great white predator, guiding their movements with subtle twists and pressures. Bon-Bon whooshed out of the path of the oncoming horde, and Lyra managed to flail herself out of the way. Trixie began to fire her Death... Transform-O-Ray wildly and several sea ponies found themselves floating in the water with four more legs than they were used to, but still the mounted charge raced upwards.

The force collided with the Lobstertron, enveloping it in a cloud of teeth and spears. The robot swung desperately, trying to dislodge the mass of shark-riding sea ponies that surrounded it, but there were just too many. For every attacker she knocked away, another took its place and continued gnashing and stabbing, trying to find some chink in its armour. Very slowly, the Lobstertron began to come apart at the seams, the constant assault taking advantage of every tiny gap in its defenses. Trixie screamed in frustration.

“Enough!”

Crackling antennae emerged along the length of the Lobstertron, and Bon-Bon came to a terrible realisation.

“Everyone! Get back!”

Hearing her, Typhoon followed suit, calling his ponies away from the robot’s vicinity, but it was too late.

“Take this!”

With a terrible fizzing sound, the water around the Lobstertron was charged with electricity and the ponies who hadn’t backed away gasped in pain. Both the sea ponies and their mounts were pushed back by the electrical force field that now surrounded the Lobstertron to the sound of Trixie’s relieved laughter.

“You must try harder if you wish to defeat The Great and Powerful Trixie! Now, Commander Typhoon. Surrender!”

Typhoon glared up at the machine, then glanced around the battlefield. All around were sea ponies wincing in pain, nursing burns and trying to calm the sharks thrashing in the aftermath of Trixie’s electrical defense. He bowed his head, and opened his mouth to speak. Before he could say a word, however, Lyra called out.

“Commander Typhoon, we have one demand in return for your protection!”

Typhoon looked up in surprise at Lyra, who was still upside-down as she struggled with her unfamiliar form. She continued, everypony present hanging on her every word.

“Prove you can deal with the inevitable!”

She grinned, her upside-down smile filled with reassurance.

“You wouldn’t want us to go back to Metropony and tell everyone you’re dead weight, right?”

Typhoon looked taken aback, then smiled back. For just a moment, the old and tired warhorse within showed in his creased face. Someday, they would have to ask just what had happened to him in his youth. He squared up to the Lobstertron and gave his reply.

“The sea ponies reject your offer. Our alliance lies with Metropony City.”

Trixie sighed theatrically.

“Very well. I suppose I shall just have to destroy your city.”

The Lobstertron clacked its claws again and began to move towards Aquastria, batting sea ponies and sharks aside and zapping any that got close. Typhoon drew himself to his full height, threw his head back, and began to chant. His deep voice boomed across the city and the other sea ponies, upon hearing his words, joined in, a chorus of thousands. Lyra and Bon-Bon floated nervously, unsure of what to make of the situation. The Lobstertron halted its advance, Trixie’s inability to deal with sudden developments once again making it self clear.

The chant continued and one by one the sea ponies began to glow, a sea of stars beneath the waves. The land ponies could only just make out the words in the mass of voices. Bon-Bon muttered along under her breath as she was caught in the moment.

“Call upon the... Kraken?”

Aquastria began to shake. The coral foundation creaked and groaned as vibrations tore at it, but held strong. And then the city rose.

The ground beneath the coral splintered and cracked, the cloying sludge of the ocean floor parting to make way for the immense form that emerged. Far beyond the city borders, great tentacles burst from the mud and reached towards the sky far above. As the dirt and rock slid from the mass that was lifting the city, Trixie said, very quietly,

“Oh dear.”

Carrying the city atop its long body was an enormous squid, thousands of feet long, its undulating limbs reaching far into the distance. The sea ponies ceased their chant, and Typhoon somersaulted exultantly.

“Behold! Aquastria’s ancient guardian and closest friend... The Kraken!”

Lyra and Bon-Bon stared.

“And they need our protection?”

The Lobstertron had swiftly retreated, jetting away to the sound of Trixie’s cries of “Next time! Next time!” The Kraken lazily extended one massive tentacle, which intercepted the fleeing robot and wrapped around it, ignoring or perhaps not even noticing the sizzling as it came into contact with the electrical field. Trixie shrieked in fear and, as the Kraken squeezed and reduced the Lobstertron to scrap in a single crunching motion, an escape pod rocketed upwards, far too fast to catch.

Its job done, the Kraken settled back into the ground, to slumber until it was needed once more. Within minutes it had vanished beneath the ocean floor, Aquastria back in its rightful place. Safe.

Scene 7

A few hours later Lyra and Bon-Bon were back in Typhoon’s office, the old sea pony beaming as they detailed how the alliance would work. The wounded impromptu army were being treated as they spoke, the sea pony populace having greeted their return with cheers and, yes, songs.

As Bon-Bon wrapped up her explanation, Typhoon sighed happily.

“I owe you both a great debt, Harpflank and... Lyra and Bon-Bon. You have saved our city.”

Lyra raised an eyebrow and swished her tail. She was finally getting used to her new body and had been assured that she would face no problems beyond locomotion once she reached land, though she had repeatedly expressed the notion that Vinyl Scratch was going to regret every moment of both their existences if she couldn’t find a way to change her back.

“I think you’ll find the squid did most of the work.”

Typhoon chuckled.

“Indeed. But you gave us the courage to stand up for ourselves. Had my guards not seen you battling Trixie with such valour, they would have sat back and watched as she waltzed in and took control. Thank you, ponies of the land. Now, I suppose you wish to get back home and deliver your report.”

The two heroes nodded and saluted him, Lyra realising only halfway through her attempt that she didn’t have a leg to salute with.

Seawinkle met them as they left, falling in alongside them and babbling excitedly.

“Oh my goodness I can’t believe you fought that monster wasn’t it scary how do you like being a sea pony Lyra so are you going to send more land ponies down here now or oh my gosh will we get to go up there I can’t-”

Lyra held up a fin and gave her a flat look. Seawinkle stopped, then giggled.

“I’m sorry, this is all just so exciting. I’m so happy thinking of all the new ponies we’ll get to meet! I can’t wait for them to hear my new son-”

Lyra cut her off again.

“One word of advice, Seawinkle. You’ve been great, and I’m glad for you all. But... you might want to tone down the singing before you meet any more land ponies.”

Seawinkle tilted her head in confusion. Lyra laughed.

“Just trust me on this.”

They moved on, leaving Seawinkle to her duties. Eventually they reached the odd clam transport that would take them back to the surface. They turned to face Aquastria one more time. They looked out over the bustling underwater city, Metropony’s new ally against the predations of the Empire. It might take a while, but the sea ponies were coming out of their shell, ready to join the world in friendship. Lyra breathed a sigh of relief.

“It’s gonna be nice to be back on land. I swear, the sea pony stallions keep looking at me.”

Bon-Bon laughed.

“It figures that you’d have to be turned into a sea pony before you could pick up any guys.”

“Hey!”

Lyra moved to give Bon-Bon a friendly kick but ended up just waving her tail. She sighed in mock exasperation.

Bon-Bon poked Lyra playfully.

“So, still obsessed with the sea ponies?”

Lyra thought for a moment, looking down at her fins and tail and out at the city preparing to meet the world for the first time. She smiled.

“They’re not bad.”

[ Credits roll.

NEXT WEEK ON HARPFLANK AND SWEETS:

“You have no idea how much I missed legs.”
“RELEASE THE MANTICORES!”
“Have I got an invention for you guys!”
“You ate all of them?!”
“It’s some kind of radiation!”

TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF... HARPFLANK AND SWEETS ]

Epilogue

“EXPLAIN.”

The bedraggled Trixie shook herself furiously, spraying water all about the throne room. She opened her mouth to speak, but sneezed before she could say anything. Luna rolled Her eyes as Her servant sniffled and replied.

“I am dreadfully sorry, My Lady, but the sea ponies have power greater than we ever suspected.”

“WHAT TROUBLE COULD SEA PONIES POSSIBLY CAUSE YOU?”

Deep inside, Trixie was screaming, “You should’ve seen that thing!” but her self-preservation instincts kept herself in check.

“I will need to return with greater firepower. My Death Ray malfunctioned, but with time I can-”

“DO NOT BOTHER. WE HAVE OTHER PLANS.”

Trixie gritted her teeth, grateful for the throne room’s dim light. Next time, she would make sure the blasted thing was calibrated correctly. Harpflank and Sweets would rue the day they made a fool of The Great and Powerful Trixie. Again.

Coming soon: Episode 36 - A Night At The Fair!

Season 2 - Episode 2: The Good, The Bad, And The Stupid

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: SEASON 2

by Arcainum

Opening Titles

The justice has been doubled! Though the world has been saved from Nightmare Moon, Metropony remains under threat. With the Empire gone, a new wave of super-criminals has emerged to fill the vacuum of power! How will the bastion of Harmony fare in an increasingly Chaotic world?! New friends, new enemies, and new adventures await those stalwart heroes named...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: SEASON 2, EPISODE 2 - THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE STUPID

Scene 1

Scootaloo tapped her hoof impatiently, each impact kicking up a flurry of autumn leaves from the foot of the tall tree that served as the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ meeting place.

“What’s taking her so long? We were supposed to start crusading almost an hour ago!”

Sweetie Belle shrugged, and stopped humming the tune she had been working on in her head.

“Maybe she’s still working. My sister made me help her out today; she’s really busy.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes.

“Your sister’s always busy.”

“Hey, what does that mean?”

“Just that she should learn to plan her time better. Like certain other ponies I could name.”

“Don’t you talk about my sister like tha-”

The potential argument was deflated by a strongly-accented voice calling loudly across the beautiful scenery of Fluttershy Gardens and causing several relaxing ponies to turn in surprise.

“Ah’m here, girls! Sorry Ah took so long!”

Apple Bloom galloped into the shade of the tree, breathing heavily. She greeted her friends in between gasps.

“Sis had... big shipment... Had to get it all done before she’d... let me go...”

Scootaloo grinned and slapped her on the back, almost toppling the tired filly.

“No problem, AB! You’re here now, right?”

Sweetie Belle, after shooting Scootaloo a slightly dirty look for her sudden change of heart, coughed importantly and made her usual announcement.

“Okay, girls! Today marks Cutie Mark Crusader Meeting Number... something, and today is the day we get our cutie marks!”

The three simultaneously threw a hoof in the air and gave a cheerful “Yaaay!” Sweetie Belle turned to Apple Bloom.

“If you would do the honours?”

“Don’t mind if Ah do!”

Glancing about them to make sure nopony was watching, Apple Bloom reached into an inconspicuous hole in the side of the tree. There was a clunk and a chunk of trunk slid noiselessly to the side to reveal a gleaming metal cylinder hidden within the hollow tree. The three fillies scrambled in and Apple Bloom pressed a button on the wall. The partition slid back into place and returned the tree to its natural-looking state.

With a jolt, the elevator zoomed downwards, moving so fast they were very briefly lifted from their hooves. A catchy and tinny tune began to play through the speakers installed above them, but within moments the elevator had reached its destination.

The door opened and the Crusaders entered The Clubhouse. Scootaloo gave a low whistle.

“Wow, Apple Bloom, you really, uh... upgraded this place.”

Apple Bloom blushed and traced a circle on the metal floor with her hoof bashfully.

“Aww, it weren’t nothin’.”

Sweetie Belle smiled widely.

“It’s great! You even put up all our old stuff!”

The brightly-lit room they had entered was enormous, and perhaps the most adorable secret lair ever constructed. Though metal plating formed the curved walls, the cold grey surface was barely visible beneath the layers of colourful drawings, diagrams, and cards that the Crusaders had created during their time together. Blueprints drawn in crayon hung alongside photos of their families and giant paper hearts covered in gems. Bubbling vats of volatile chemicals stood next to shelves of textbooks, and the floor was scattered with both half-built weaponry and toys of all kinds. The same tune that had played in the elevator provided a pleasant soundtrack to the mess.

Apple Bloom trotted briskly past her friends to hide her embarrassment, hopping over abandoned projects as she went.

“A-Anyway, Ah think Ah know what we’re gonna do today.”

Her giggling friends followed her to a large metal slab, above which hung a fearsome looking apparatus, all injectors, blades and probes. Hopping into the adjustable chairs around it, the three pulled the levers on their seats until they could actually see what lay on the table. Apple Bloom swept her hoof through the air dramatically.

“Take a looky at this!”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle took in the limp grey form on the slab. There was an awkward pause. Sweetie Belle coughed politely.

“I, uh, really like her... mane?”

Scootaloo prodded it, disappointed.

“It’s just a doll. A pretty crummy one, too.”

Apple Bloom huffed and retorted.

“Ain’t just a doll! Ah been modifyin’ it!”

Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow, skeptical as to the doll’s efficacy for cutie mark acquisition.

“So... what does it do?”

Apple Bloom drew herself up, placing her hooves on her sides proudly.

“Ah’ll show you what it does!”

She leapt from her chair and skipped excitedly to a nearby lever. She grabbed two pairs of tinted goggles that lay discarded amongst the debris and tossed them to her friends, who slipped them on with a hint of trepidation. Scootaloo muttered under her breath.

“This better be good.”

Apple Bloom wrapped both forelegs around the large lever and pulled with all her might. The hanging machine began to whir, spindly limbs twitching. A bright green light began to shine from the liquid inside its many needles, and as one they plunged down and impaled the lumpen puppet, making Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo recoil in surprise. They soon leaned forward eagerly, however, as the liquid drained into the doll and the needles retracted. To their amazement, it began to twitch, sparks of magic flickering across it as it convulsed before their eyes. Apple Bloom looked on nervously.

After a few moments, the light faded and the doll ceased its movement. The Crusaders leaned even closer.

Suddenly, the doll sat up, button eyes peering about the room. The two fillies at the table exclaimed in surprise.

“Oh, wow! That’s awesome!”

“Is it alive?!”

Apple Bloom grinned proudly.

“Eeyup! Mah sister got hold o’ some Chemical X for me and Ah been doin’ some experiments. Lil’ Miss Smarty Pants here is mah first creation!”

The little grey doll held up her arms and, to the further amazement of Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell, spoke in a squeaky, yet surprisingly deep, voice.

“Smarty Pants can have hugs?”

Sweetie Belle’s face lit up like a fireworks display and she let out an “Eeek!” of delight, gathering the doll up into a tight embrace.

“It’s so cute!”

Scootaloo stuck out her tongue in disgust.

“Bleh, seriously?”

She turned to Apple Bloom, who had returned to the slab looking mildly smug.

“So, what’s the plan?”

Apple Bloom blinked.

“Uh... what?”

Scootaloo facehoofed in frustration.

“Ugh. How is this doll-”

The toy interrupted her, voice unaffected by Sweetie Belle’s squeezing.

“Smarty Pants’ name not ‘doll.’ Smarty Pants’ name Smarty Pants.”

Sweetie Belle giggled, and Scootaloo glared at her before continuing.

“How is Smarty Pants going to help us get our cutie marks?”

Apple Bloom fidgeted guiltily.

“Ah... didn’t really get that far. Uh... Ah guess bringin’ her to life was pretty impressive! Ah got anythin’ yet?”

She turned in circles on the spot, craning her neck to check her flank for her Adorable Abominations Against Nature cutie mark. Scootaloo gave her a blank look. Then she threw up her hooves.

“Great, so we got a talking doll that likes hugs.”

Smarty Pants spoke again, this time with an odd edge to her voice.

“Smarty Pants’ name not ‘doll!’ Smarty Pants’ name Smarty Pants!”

Sweetie Belle gave her a stern look.

“Hey, Smarty Pants, don’t be rude. You are a doll, after all. It’s just like us calling each other ponies!”

The doll pushed her forelegs aside, leaping from her body to the table and pointing at her accusingly.

“Smarty Pants already say! Smarty Pants not doll! Smarty Pants Smarty Pants!”

Scootaloo looked down at her with disdain.

“Geez, calm down.”

The doll was hopping in anger now, and faint twinkles of magic were popping in the air around her.

“You say sorry! Call Smarty Pants Smarty Pants!”

Sweetie Belle held out her hooves placatingly.

“Come on Scootaloo, just apologise.”

Apple Bloom was watching Smarty Pants uncertainly.

“Uh, girls? Ah think she’s gettin’ bigger.”

Scootaloo sniffed.

“Even if she does gets bigger, she’ll still be just a doll.”

The little grey pony was definitely growing. Her top half bulged much larger than her legs, all her weight on her forehooves. Sweetie Belle began to back away slightly.

“Um, Smarty Pants, you’re getting a little scary.”

The doll stood up, beating her chest with her forehooves.

“Smarty Pants not scary! Smarty Pants SMARTY PANTS!”

By now, the magic was crackling around her and she had grown to match the Crusaders in size. They backed away, except Scootaloo, who still had her head turned away to accentuate her dismissal of the doll.

“I’m sorry, Apple Bloom, but I guess this one’s a bust. A doll that gets so worked up over a name isn’t going to help u-”

She was interrupted by a swipe from Smarty Pants slamming into her side, throwing her across the room. She cried out in pain and leapt to her hooves, pawing the ground in anger.

“Hey! What’s the big idea?!”

Smarty Pants, who was by now the size of a full-grown pony, roared.

“You mean to Smarty Pants! Smarty Pants hate mean!”

She hopped from the slab and placed her forehooves at its foot. She heaved, and the heavy block of metal was lifted into the air before the eyes of the terrified Crusaders. Apple Bloom took a tentative step towards her, voice soothing.

“Hey there, Smarty Pants, you don’t have to do that, now. You just be a good lil’ doll, and-”

Sweetie Belle tried to interrupt her.

“Don’t call her a do-!”

But she was too late. The monster that was Smarty Pants, two ponies high now and with a voice like an avalanche, let out another bellow.

“SMARTY PANTS NOT DOLL! SMARTY PANTS SMARTY PANTS!”

With an almighty crash, she hurled the metal slab across the Clubhouse, demolishing the elevator door. Before the Crusaders could react, she had bounded across the room, shaking the ground with her every step, and clambered out of sight up the elevator shaft.

There was a brief silence, broken only by the rumbles of Smarty Pants’ distant ascent and the screams of ponies in the park above. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both fixed their gazes on Apple Bloom. She took in the destruction and gave a small, awkward cough.

“Ah, uh... Ah may have put in a little too much Chemical X.”

Scene 2

Commander Derpy Hooves’ door hissed open and Lyra and Bon-Bon strolled in. Their superior was hunched over her desk, sighing in dismay at the layers of paperwork that assaulted her daily. The pen in her mouth that should be signing releases and memos had become nothing more than a stress toy, bobbing up and down as she chewed it.

Bon-Bon cleared her throat politely and Derpy jumped, dropping the pen and hurriedly wiping at the blue stain that had seeped into her lips. Lyra chuckled at the Commander’s lack of decorum, relishing every chance she had to bring Derpy down to her own unprofessional level. Glaring at her, Derpy saluted them primly. As usual, Bon-Bon returned it smartly while Lyra waved her hoof vaguely upwards.

With the formality over with, Derpy slumped back to her desk again. Since their adventure on the moon the relationship between the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony had become a lot more relaxed, their shared experiences and magical connection forging a bond beyond ranks and protocol. Derpy Hooves was no longer just their commander, she was their friend and more. She moaned pitifully.

“Uuuugh. When did things get so complicated?”

The two heroes settled into their usual chairs and Bon-Bon leaned forward questioningly.

“What’s the situation, Commander?”

Derpy pulled herself up and rubbed her eyes. She then waved a hoof at the piles of paper scattered about her office, which seemed taller and more menacing than usual.

“Going public is the worst thing that ever happened to this organisation. When everypony thought you two were free agents, we could just square any damage with the government under the table. They made sure everyone was compensated, we threw money at the rebuild to speed it along, and everypony was happy!”

Even Lyra felt a pang of sympathy at the exhaustion evident in the beleaguered pegasus’ face. The past few weeks had been hard for everypony in M.A.R.E.

Through some miracle of deception the organisation as a whole had been able to remain secret during its battles with the Luna Empire, the seemingly unlimited funds at Derpy’s disposal and the backing of Celestia’s government keeping the populace at large under the impression that Harpflank and Sweets were nothing more than a pair of bizarrely well-equipped superheroes.

There had been neighsayers of course, those who had decried them as destructive vigilantes, but public opinion was firmly on their side. Trixie’s Lunatrons had been so powerful, so ridiculously advanced, anypony could see that if it weren’t for Harpflank and Sweets the city would have been Luna’s years ago.

But Nightmare Moon’s assault on Celestia Tower had necessitated both full mobilisation of M.A.R.E’s armed division and the deployment of Tavinger Z, their specialised anti-Lunatron super robot. And, with nothing more than a series of cataclysmic explosions and the violent annihilation of a robot army, the secret was out.

Suddenly the word on everypony’s lips was ‘accountability’. The fact that large-scale destruction had been casually authorised by a clandestine government-sanctioned organisation had caused something of a uproar. Opinion polls had placed public feeling towards the newly-revealed M.A.R.E. firmly in the middle ground, gratitude for their services to the city balanced by the, as one tactful journalist had put it, “somewhat lax attitude towards property damage” the group had displayed.

And so it had begun. New rules, new procedures, new problems. In the space of a single battle, Derpy’s responsibilities had grown exponentially, with public relations, retraining, and the creation of a full backlog of M.A.R.E’s activities being added to the already considerable duties of running a combined private army/research and development lab/space program. The ponies under her command had fared no better. Every member below a certain rank had been made to reveal their identity, causing many trouble in their lives at home as betrayed friends and family turned their backs. ExTech was, to Vinyl Scratch and Octavia’s consternation, operating under far stricter safety guidelines and had taken a few hard knocks to the budget. Even Nurse Redheart was feeling the strain as her infirmary’s bleeding-edge technology came under the scrutiny of the greater medical community.

Lyra and Bon-Bon had so far escaped relatively unscathed, having had only to give a few press conferences as Harpflank and Sweets as to the nature of M.A.R.E. and their reasons for secrecy. Despite their being the public face of Equestria’s best-kept secret for years, they were far too popular to take much of a beating from the whole fiasco. So they had just kept on living their lives, staying prepared for whatever may come and supporting the rest of M.A.R.E. as best they could.

The look on Derpy’s face made it all too clear that this was about to change. She sighed and rummaged through the papers in front of her, finally pulling a thick binder from the rustling mountains. She slid it across her desk towards them.

“Just the first page.”

Lyra flipped the binder open and skimmed the text. Her eyes widened.

“What?”

Bon-Bon craned her neck to see, and after a few moments let out a similar exclamation. The paper was emblazoned with the insignia of both M.A.R.E. and the Metropony Police Department. An impressive title/subtitle combo took up most of the page, reading,

OPERATION: DOUBLE JUSTICE

Being a collaboration between the Metropony Police Department and M.A.R.E, with the ultimate goal of the effective merging of both organisations.

Bon-Bon shook her head in disbelief.

“A merger? But that’s insane. It’ll never work. We operate on entirely different levels. How did this even begin to get past the Princesses?”

Derpy pulled the binder back to her side of the desk, slamming it closed and shoving it back under the piles of forms as if hoping to forget about it. She spoke firmly before Bon-Bon or the still-sputtering Lyra could say any more.

“Actually, the merger is a big nothing. That’s just something I let them think they’re getting to cut us some slack. It’ll never happen. I just wanted to make sure you knew how seriously the government is taking this whole thing. The collaboration, however...”

Lyra stopped her mumbling and gave Derpy a suspicious look.

“Wait. What are you making us do?”

Derpy gave her a pained smile.

“I’m sorry, girls, but you’re getting a new team member.”

Bon-Bon’s eyebrow raised.

“A new... How is that even going to work? We have superpowers. The only ponies who can keep up with us are you and the other Bearers.”

Derpy gave a small chuckle.

“Yes, I brought that up at the meeting. Your MPD liaison will be acting in more of an advisory capacity. She’ll follow you around, keep an eye on you and make sure you’re conforming to all these new rules. The MPD teaches us some restraint and M.A.R.E. gets to show the MPD we’re not the crazies everypony thinks we are. That’s the idea, anyway. So, you’re to report to the Police Commissioner ASAP. It shouldn’t be too bad. She’s an old friend.”

Bon-Bon reluctantly nodded, seeing the wisdom behind the decision. If the proposal had gone through in the first place, it had the Princesses’ seal of approval, no doubt with a sly wink from Celestia. Luna had insisted on maintaining contact with the Bearers, and Her letters painted a very different picture of the Sun Princess than anypony had suspected. Still, if it was good enough for them, it was good enough for Bon-Bon.

Lyra, meanwhile, was sitting in her customary position in her chair, forelegs folded sullenly.

“I still don’t like it.”

Derpy sighed again, saluting and picking up her pen while motioning them to leave, voice muffled as she clenched her arch-nemesis in her teeth.

“Unforfunately, you fon’t haf foo.”

Scene 3

“So. Harpflank and Sweets. We meet at last.”

The Metropony Police Commissioner, Carrot Top, eyed them across her immaculate desk. Her office was the polar opposite of Derpy’s. Polished wooden surfaces sharply contrasted the grey metal of M.A.R.E. HQ, and the room was scrupulously ordered. Tall filing cabinets creaked under the weight of the papers within, the floor was clear and dustless, and even the glass on the diplomas hanging on the walls gleamed.

Lyra and Bon-Bon sat in plush chairs before her desk awkwardly. Bon-Bon’s expression was carefully neutral, while Lyra’s was almost outright hostile. Their brief journey through the MPD HQ to Carrot Top’s office had been accompanied by whispers and pointing hooves, many officers making their distrust of the heroes clear, though several had given small cheers before being hushed by their colleagues. More than once Bon-Bon had had to place a restraining hoof on Lyra’s shoulder as her partner glared at the staring ponies, chiding her quietly for reinforcing their beliefs.

“They think we’re dangerous. Let’s not prove them right.”

But here they were, face to face with Metropony’s official head of law enforcement. The yellow earth pony continued to appraise them, her gaze peeking out from her voluminous orange mane and seeming to pierce their very souls. Both Lyra and Bon-Bon felt guilt rising in them, Carrot Top’s eyes seemingly able to drag everything from minor childhood indiscretions to city-wide calamities into the light with nothing but a look.

Then, to their great surprise, she smiled warmly.

“Truly, it’s an honour.”

Lyra’s scowl collapsed, replaced by abject confusion. Carrot Top continued, chuckling at Lyra’s reaction.

“I’m sorry, were you expecting a gruff, cigar-smoking stallion to chew you out and threaten to kick you out of the city? No, I’m not that stupid. I understand that everything you’ve done, you’ve done for this city and the ponies that live in it, and I respect you for that. Omelettes and eggs, and all that.”

Lyra, still wary, replied cautiously.

“Uh... thanks?”

The Commissioner’s expression hardened slightly, but remained friendly.

“However, that doesn’t mean I don’t think you need reining in. You haven’t been breaking eggs, you’ve been breaking buildings.”

She held up a hoof as Bon-Bon moved to speak.

“I understand that you were battling the Empire, and that it was way over our heads. But anypony who claims to defend this city has a duty to its citizens, a duty which, in my opinion, M.A.R.E. has not fulfilled.”

She steepled her hooves and leaned forward, punctuating her next words.

“Me, you, M.A.R.E, the MPD, we all fight for the same reason, so the public can go about their lives as normal. And, forgive me for saying, but hundred-metre-tall robots having a wrestling match in Celestia Plaza tends to disrupt the flow.”

Bon-Bon and Lyra were silent, the Commissioner’s words cutting deeper than they’d ever thought they could. Her expression lightened once more, and she leaned back in her chair.

“Now, the MPD just isn’t equipped to deal with the kind of threats M.A.R.E. deals with, and, though I would never say this within earshot of any of my officers, we need an organisation on the edge of the law like yours. But all the crazy needs to stop. And that’s what this whole thing is all about.”

She waited for the two heroes to digest what she had said, then, moved to return to her work.

“Now go do whatever it is you do. Copper will meet you outside.”

Lyra, having stood to leave with Bon-Bon, halted.

“Copper?”

Carrot Top looked up from her computer, giving Lyra an “Isn’t it obvious?” look.

“Your new partner.”

Scene 4

Stepping out from the imposing MPD HQ, Lyra and Bon-Bon considered their meeting.

“That feels like it went better than expected.”

Lyra nodded at Bon-Bon’s assertion.

“Yeah. I thought we were going to get totally busted, but she seemed pretty cool about the whole thing. Hey, where do you think she knows the Commander from?”

Before Bon-Bon could reply, an eager voice directly behind them made them jump.

“Harpflank? Sweets?”

Turning, the heroes were greeted by the sight of a young mare. Her coat was a rich reddish-orange that matched the gleaming MPD badge pinned to her pristine uniform. Similarly, the light verdigris of her ponytailed mane matched her cutie mark, a pair of scales, perfectly. She gave them a textbook M.A.R.E. salute which Lyra and Bon-Bon returned without thinking.

“Oh, I’m so glad I got it right! I was reading up on your procedures and I figured I could get off to a good start if I greeted you M.A.R.E-style.”

The mare suddenly gasped.

“Oh! I’m Copper. Named for my colour, not for my job, har har. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve heard that one. I’m your new partner!”

She smiled widely, as if they were already the best of friends. Lyra raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.

“So you’re the one who’s supposed to keep us ‘under control’? You seem a little... enthusiastic for that.”

Copper shook her head vigorously.

“Oh, don’t worry! I fully intend to do my job. I’m to keep a careful log of your activities and, should a situation arise, advise you on what the MPD considers the best way to proceed in order to stay within the bounds of Metropony law and minimise damage to the surrounding area.”

As she spoke, her voice took on a hint of a sing-song quality, as if she had practiced these words many times. Her expression, however, made it clear how seriously she took her orders.

Bon-Bon proffered a hoof, and Copper gladly shook it.

“Nice to meet you, Copper. I look forward to working with you.”

“Makes one of us, I gue-Ow.”

Lyra’s muttering was interrupted, as usual, by a kick from Bon-Bon that seemed automatic. Copper giggled. The little policemare seemed at odds with herself, her warm personality battling with her dedication to her job. Her ponytail, for example, Bon-Bon knew was against regulations, but was also well-kept and tucked neatly into her uniform. Her actions were professional but breathtakingly energetic. It would be interesting to see how this partnership played out.

At that moment, a familiar sound chirped insistently from Bon-Bon’s bag. Lyra stopped nursing her leg immediately and turned to face the communicator as Bon-Bon pulled it free. Copper just watched, obviously having been briefed on their communications methods earlier. The beeping stopped and Derpy’s voice replaced it.

“Lyra, Bon-Bon, do you read?”

Bon-Bon facehoofed. The day that Derpy didn’t give away classified information like their names without a thought was the day that Bon-Bon would consider the city saved for good.

“Yes, Commander, and so does our new partner.”

Copper piped up brightly, waving at the communicator.

“Hello!”

There was a brief moment of silence.

“Yes, well. She’s, uh, cleared for that information anyway.”

Bon-Bon could have sworn she heard Derpy mutter “She is now, anyway...” but let it slip for expediency’s sake.

“What’s up, Commander?”

Derpy cleared her throat and her authoritative tone returned.

“Just checking in. How did you find Carrot Top?”

Bon-Bon frowned as Lyra made blah-blah-blah faces.

“She seemed... supportive, Commander. I see what you meant when you said this might not be a bad thing.”

Derpy sighed with relief.

“I was hoping you’d say that. I can never work out what that mare is thinking. Ever since the old days in... Hold on, I’m getting something from Vinyl.”

As Derpy went silent, Bon-Bon explained Vinyl’s position in ExTech to Copper, who absorbed the information eagerly while Lyra rolled her eyes. The communicator buzzed again and Derpy’s voice returned, this time with urgency.

“Looks like you three will be working together sooner than we thought. We’ve got a disturbance downtown, and it’s big. The MPD should be picking it up too.”

Sure enough, there was a noticeable bustle around them. Sirens wailed and ponies barked orders as the well-oiled machine that was the Metropony Police Department swung into action.

“Sending you coordinates now. Eyewitness reports seem to indicate some kind of monster. Good luck.”

Lyra grinned at Copper.

“See you there, partner.”

With that, she galloped away at top speed, leaving Bon-Bon to stamp her foot in frustration at her friend’s childishness. Copper looked torn between disapproval at Lyra’s actions and panic at the sudden situation.

“She just ran off! How are we supposed to coordinate if-”

Bon-Bon interrupted her kindly but bluntly.

“Sorry, but there’s no time for this. Hold on tight.”

Before Copper could react, Bon-Bon had effortlessly slipped underneath her and lifted her into the air. With a blur and a swiftly disappearing shriek of surprise, they were gone.

Scene 5

“SMARTY PANTS SMASH!”

The flying sofa missed Scootaloo by a hair’s breadth, crashing through the display of fine quills that she had been using as cover. She yelped and instinctively fired another shot at the raging Smarty Pants, who roared in anger as the bolt of plasma impacted with a burst of blue flame to little or no effect. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were still picking themselves up from the wide divan they had landed on after being thrown across the showroom by Smarty Pants’ last ferocious attack.

The third floor of The Davenporium, Purveyor of Quills And Sofas For The Discerning Pony, was a wreck. Hundreds of fine three-piece suites lay in smoking ruin, covered in the limp remains of the best quills bits could buy. The store had long since been cleared of ponies, customers fleeing in terror at the sight of fillies in armour attacking a roaring golem three ponies high. Scootaloo called to her friends, who were now moving apart to flank the raging doll, who continued to attack her surroundings at random.

“This is getting seriously out of control, guys!”

At first, recapturing the escaped doll had seemed like a small task. Halfway through her ascent through The Clubhouse’s elevator shaft, Smarty Pants had smashed through the escape hatch built into its wall and lumbered into Metropony’s extensive and maze-like sewer system. Tracking her had been nothing more than a matter of the Crusaders donning their armour and following her unique magical signature.

Unfortunately, when they had caught her, things got tricky. Their weapons had proved largely ineffective, something in whatever process Apple Bloom had used to bring her to life providing her with impossible resilience. Their efforts had only served to enrage Smarty Pants further, the doll growing larger with every failed assault, until she had taken a mighty leap and burst from the ground into the basement of The Davenporium. A single further leap had taken her from the basement to the third floor, leaving the Crusaders no choice but to follow in an effort to subdue her. And here they were, failing to do precisely that.

Sweetie Belle rolled to the side as Smarty Pants tossed another sofa, stumbling as she came to her hooves. Her armour’s jetpack had been knocked out of commission by a quill that had somehow contrived in the heat of battle to be flung by an explosion into exactly the right chink in the powered suit. She called back past the roaring Smarty Pants.

“Oh, really?! I hadn’t noticed!”

Before they could start to bicker, Apple Bloom, firing a shot into Smarty Pants’ back to distract her, flew out of cover and interrupted them.

“Don’t worry, girls, Ah got a plan!”

She flicked a switch on her suit and a compartment opened near her flank, dispensing a flashing blue sphere. She wound her hoof back as if ready to toss a ball.

“Take cover!”

Apple Bloom let the sphere fly. The Crusaders leapt behind what cover remained in the ruined store. Smarty Pants turned as the beeping orb soared towards her. The fabric around her button eyes tightened as she frowned. Then the bomb hit her just below the right shoulder and she was engulfed in flame. The Crusaders whooped and hoofbumped as Smarty Pants fell to the floor, writhing as she tried to beat out the flames.

Their victory was short-lived, however. The same magic that crackled about her when she grew began to sparkle in the air around Smarty Pants and the flames vanished, seemingly absorbed by the golem as she picked herself up. Sweetie Belle stood from her cover and threw her hooves in the air in frustration.

“Oh, come on!”

Scootaloo yanked her back behind the heavy sales counter they were hiding behind as another sofa careened across the room towards them. The Crusaders gathered into a huddle. Apple Bloom opened the discussion worriedly.

“Ah don’t think we can handle this one, girls! That bomb was the biggest boom Ah got on me!”

“Well, have you got any more?”

Apple Bloom nodded slowly.

“Well, uh, Ah got more, but Ah ain’t sure that would be such a good idea.”

“Why not?!”

“Mah suit’s sayin’ the dispenser ain’t up to snuff. If Ah pop another one, the whole batch’ll come flyin’, and that could blow us all sky high!”

Scootaloo groaned.

“Well, we gotta do something, or-”

Their ill-advised discussion was interrupted by Smarty Pants leaping onto the counter above them with a thud, causing them to recoil with a scream.

“SMARTY PANTS SMASH MEANIES!”

The golem raised her enormous forehooves above her head and the Crusaders froze, too caught in the fear of the moment to react. Smarty Pants’ hooves descended.

A green blur appeared from nowhere and slammed into Smarty Pants’ ragged cheek. In the tiny moment before she was sent tumbling across the room, smashing through furniture and displays with every bounce of her heavy body, the Crusaders saw Lyra’s flying kick hit Smarty Pants’ face so hard that her face tore, one button eye coming loose as the animated stitches faltered under the terrific pressure.

Then motion returned and Lyra twisted in midair to land on the counter where the doll had so recently threatened them. She grinned smugly at the Crusaders.

“Don’t worry, fillies! Your friendly neighbourhood Harpflank is here to-heynowwaitasecond.”

Her eyes narrowed as she inspected their armour, then widened in surprise. She pointed a hoof at them accusingly.

“You! You’re the Cutie Mark Whatevers! The ones that gatecrashed my funeral!”

There was a moment of silence. It slowly filtered into the Crusaders’ minds who had rescued them. Lyra seemed to realise what she had just said and she became a picture of indignation.

“You gatecrashed my funeral!”

Scootaloo shouted back.

“That’s funny, you look pretty alive to me!”

Lyra thrust her face close to the armour’s visor, matching Scootaloo’s volume with gusto.

“It’s a long story! That’s still no excuse! You gatecrashed my funeral!”

Sweetie Belle, who had peered over the counter to assess the damage to Smarty Pants, jumped in between them.

“I really don’t think this is the time!”

Smarty Pants was bounding towards them, rage and magic feeding her growth. Her hunched back scraped the ceiling, knocking chunks of plaster free. Tutting, Lyra jumped from the counter. The Crusaders jetted clear of their hiding place, carrying Sweetie Belle between them. Smarty Pants’ charge carried her through the counter, demolishing it, and into the wall. A great plume of dust obscured her as she crashed into the concrete.

Lyra and the Crusaders warily moved towards the cloud, eyeing both it and each other. Before the dust could clear, a voice called from the showroom’s entrance.

“Lyra! Is everything okay?!”

Lyra whirled around to see her partner, quaking Copper draped across her back, leaping into the room.

“No problem, BB. How’s the newbie?”

Copper immediately snapped back to her senses, jumping to the ground and taking in the situation. She responded to Lyra with a slight sniff.

“I’m fine, thank you, Harpflank. I just didn’t expect your powers to be so... You two run fast. Like, really fast.”

There was a low rumble from where Smarty Pants had impacted with the wall, and everypony readied themselves. Copper pulled a pistol from its holster with practiced skill while the Crusaders dropped to the floor and backed away from the dissipating cloud of dust, warming up their weapons. Lyra and Bon-Bon crouched, ready to leap into close combat. The world held its breath.

The dust cleared.

There was nothing there. Just a hole in the wall that reached from floor to ceiling, leading into the administration section of the building. Of Smarty Pants, there was no sign.

Copper quietly addressed Lyra and Bon-Bon while the Crusaders’ attention was distracted by the sight beyond the destroyed wall.

“We need to call for specialists and try to contain the monster.”

Lyra hissed back, incredulous.

“Contain? You didn’t see that thing, it could barely fit in here!”

The policemare glared at Lyra, the hero’s behaviour towards her finally beginning to chip at her sunny disposition.

“No, I didn’t see it! Because you ran ahead without intel, leaving myself, your partner and our backup behind! And now there’s a creature we don’t even know the nature of somewhere in this building completely unchecked!”

Apple Bloom burst into the discussion, jetting up to Copper and Lyra angrily.

“Smarty Pants ain’t no creature! She’s mah creation!”

Lyra looked up at the hovering filly in amazement.

“You made that thing?! Why?!”

The other Crusaders bounded into the rapidly heating argument, Sweetie Belle’s cracking voice cutting in.

“Because she can, duh! How else are we going to find out our cutie marks than by doing stuff?”

Lyra stared at her.

“Your cutie... what is with you fillies?!”

Copper interjected, trying to instil some order into the chaotic situation.

“Look, that’s not important right now! What’s important is that we arrest these three and call in a team to help deal with that monster!”

Scootaloo scoffed.

“Oh, because your team will have better gear than us, right? Your police issue stuff sucks.”

Everypony began to talk at once, Copper’s increasingly desperate insistence on calling for backup coming up against Lyra’s calls to action and the Crusaders’ apparent disregard for authority. Their voices raised, the argument became an incoherent mess of shouting.

“Everypony shut up!”

In the sudden silence, they all turned to face Bon-Bon, who was looking up at the ceiling with a cautious eye. Very slowly, and very quietly, she spoke.

“I think... it’s upstairs.”

They listened, straining their ears for the slightest sound.

There. A faint creak, somewhere above them. They all exchanged glances, the heroes’ eyes meeting the tinted visors of the Crusaders and saying everything that needed to be said. Carefully, they began to spread out, anypony with a weapon aiming it at the creak that, now that they were listening, they could hear moving across the floor above. Lyra took a deep breath.

“No-”

Before she could give the signal, there was a tremendous crash and the ceiling above Sweetie Belle smashed apart, the massive bulk of Smarty Pants falling like a boulder through the rubble to crush the shrieking filly beneath her weight. The floor beneath them gave way and they tumbled out of sight, a succession of further crashes echoing through the building as Sweetie Belle and Smarty Pants fell all the way to the basement.

The other Crusaders cried out in fear and concern, firing their jetpacks and flying after their friend without a moment’s hesitation. Lyra, Bon-Bon and Copper ran to the edge of the enormous hole in the floor and peered down.

Smarty Pants was roaring, raising her oversized forehooves over Sweetie Belle, who was cowering in pain and fear below her. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom swooped down and grabbed Sweetie between them before she could land the final blow, rocketing back up even as Smarty Pants swiped at them and began to climb the floors now separating them.

As the Crusaders drew level with Lyra, Bon-Bon, and Copper, Scootaloo coughed and spoke grudgingly.

“Look, we... we’re really sorry. This kinda got a little crazy.”

Lyra blinked.

“You think?!”

Scootaloo bristled, but regained control.

“As I was saying, we’re really sorry. Give ‘em the bombs, AB.”

Apple Bloom nodded and activated her plasma bomb dispenser with her free forehoof. To the heroes’ surprise, a cache of explosives significantly larger than the filly herself cascaded into the hole, the mass of bombs throwing Smarty Pants back into the basement.

“That should do for Smarty Pants, y’all. The detonators ain’t workin’ so you’ll have to shoot ‘em yourself. And, uh... yeah, we’re really sorry!”

And with that, they flew up to the next floor and out of sight, the dangling Sweetie Belle waving blearily at the heroes.

Lyra span to face Copper, grabbing for her gun.

“What are you doing?!”

Lyra looked at her with an “are you kidding” look.

“Are you kidding?! We need to blow up that thing!”

Copper wrestled the gun away from her.

“Look at those bombs! It would vaporise the whole building!”

“Exactly!”

Copper looked shocked, unable to believe Lyra’s cavalier attitude.

“How can you say that?! We have a duty to prote-”

Lyra interrupted, making another grab for the gun.

“We have a duty to protect the citizens, and if we have to blow up a building or two to do that, then that’s what we have to do!”

Bon-bon tried to separate them, all too aware of the roars of Smarty Pants below.

“Lyra! Copper! There’s no time for this! That thing is getting back up! And it’s bringing the bombs with it!”

The two struggling ponies stopped and slowly turned to look down the hole.

Smarty Pants was pulling herself up, regaining her balance with ungainly steps as she struggled to stand on her tiny hindlegs. She started up at them, covered in adhesive plasma grenades. One had, by chance, stuck in the space left by her missing eye. She visibly tensed, the stitches that held her together stretching as the arcane and scientific forces that gave her life built within her. The three heroes began to back away.

Then, she leapt.

“Run!”

Bon-Bon’s cry was barely audible over the boom as the force of Smarty Pants’ take-off left a small crater in the basement floor. The three ponies galloped for the nearest window with all their might.

For Copper, time seemed to slow. She saw Lyra and Bon-Bon running beside her, wordlessly hindering their own escape by limiting their super-powered pace to match hers. She heard the crash as Smarty Pants sailed out of the hole and landed on the floor they occupied. She felt the cold metal of the gun in her mouth.

The floor rumbled beneath Smarty Pants’ pounding hooves. In slow-motion, Bon-Bon leapt through the window, suspended in a shower of razor shards as she cleared the way for their escape. Lyra, in one movement, jinked sideways and knocked Copper onto her back, and leapt into the air after Bon-Bon. As she sailed through the air impossibly slowly, Copper saw the monster behind them, lumbering towards the hole in the glass they had just made and bellowing in rage and aggression. She looked down, and saw the crowd of ponies outside the police cordon that had formed a safe distance from the building. She looked across the city, and saw the homes of millions of ponies who believed without question that they would be kept safe by the MPD, M.A.R.E, and Harpflank and Sweets.

And then she pointed her gun at Smarty Pants and pulled the trigger.

Scene 6

The Davenporium exploded.

It happened in stages. At first, a disc of blue flame burst across the third floor, sweeping through the building like a great circular saw. The ring subsided and the top half of the building began to fall, the missing third floor leaving nothing to hold it up.

Just as the mass of concrete was about to collide with its lower brother, the second explosion hit, this time bursting upwards. A great pillar of fire erupted from the roof of the gutted store, sending rubble miles into the sky.

Then, at last, the final explosion ballooned outwards, tearing the remaining shell of the building to shreds. Chunks of concrete, scraps of sofa and singed feathers rained within the gaping crater that was all that remained of The Davenporium, Purveyor of Quills And Sofas For The Discerning Pony.

Lyra and Bon-Bon landed neatly outside the blast zone, their mighty leaps carrying them out of range. Copper unsteadily extricated herself from Lyra’s back, while Lyra herself looked at her approvingly but confusedly.

“What happened to the rules?”

Copper brushed a smoking strand of mane from her eyes and looked at the crater she had just caused. She opened her mouth, then closed it again. Finally, she said,

“We have a duty to protect the citizens, and if we have to blow up a building or two to do that, then that’s what we have to do.”

She turned back to face the two heroes, grinning wildly.

“Seriously though, that was insane. Is this what it’s like all the time?”

Lyra grinned and nodded.

“You should’ve been there when we went to the moon.”

“When you did what?”

Bon-Bon chuckled at the sight of Lyra bragging about their previous exploits and the, until recently, by-the-book Copper gasping in horror at every mention of unfathomable municipal damage.

The sound of sirens heralded the arrival of M.A.R.E. Clean-up crews, the MPD cordon efficiently flowing aside to let them through. The crowds clamoured to watch as the ponies went to work, sweeping the area for dangerous residues, ensuring the ruins were stable, and generally showing off for the public. Derpy and Carrot Top had obviously seen an opportunity for good publicity, as the two organisations brought all of their most impressive equipment to the fore and visibly cooperated in an effort to assess the damage and ensure the public’s safety in the aftermath of the explosion.

Maybe, just maybe, this would work out after all.

Scene 7

“… And so, in light of this report, I am afraid I must conclude, having been present at a Class 3 incident and had ample opportunity to observe even the smallest of dangers that Harpflank and Sweets must contend with, that any and all actions taken by the organisation M.A.R.E. were and are entirely justified. In fact, I am recommending the immediate cessation of any integration, as I believe our restraining influence would, however strange it may seem, be an active detriment to the city’s safety.

Your faithful officer,

Copper.”

Carrot Top laid the report on her desk and stood up, pacing to the large window that graced the wall of her office. Looking out to the street below, she watched the ponies of the city go about their business. Young couples giggling at each others’ jokes, suited business ponies rushing to their next meeting, fillies pulling at their parents’ tails to get their attention... All safe from danger and, apart from a small dip in quill and sofa shares, somehow entirely unaffected by the events of the previous day.

She sighed and walked back to her desk, flopping into her seat with uncharacteristic laxity. Something on her desk caught her eye and she picked it up. She gazed fondly on the old photo, a photo in which her and a grey, wall-eyed pegasus stood making funny faces at the camera in a large, well-tended carrot patch at the foot of a pleasant country cottage.

Putting the photo down, she glanced at Copper’s report one last time. She smiled and spoke aloud, almost to herself.

“Oh, all right. You win this time, Ditz.”

[ Credits roll. ]

Epilogue

The moon cast its cool light over the wreckage of The Davenporium. Even in the dead of night, Metropony heaved with activity, but the the crater was almost silent. The public had been banned from the area until it was deemed safe, and all that could be heard were the distant noises of parties, vehicles and ponies.

But then a new sound joined the faint hum of the city. A tiny scratching sound, like rough cloth rubbing together. A pebble near the centre of the explosion’s radius moved, ever so slightly. A piece of coloured thread wormed its way free of the tiny stone holding it in place and began to wriggle across the ground.

Before long, it had encountered a scrap of grey fabric, tattered and singed. It extended itself between the strip of cloth and another nearby, and brought them closer. Then, very slowly, it began to sew them together with itself.

Another pebble moved. And another.

And many, many more.

Coming soon: Season 2, Episode 22 - Green Actually Kind Of Is Your Colour!

Season 2 - Episode 22: Green Actually Kind Of Is Your Colour

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: SEASON 2

by Arcainum
Edited by R.T. Stephens (FiMFiction)

Opening Titles

The justice has been doubled! Though the world has been saved from Nightmare Moon, Metropony remains under threat. With the Empire gone, a new wave of super-criminals has emerged to fill the vacuum of power! How will the bastion of Harmony fare in an increasingly Chaotic world?! New friends, new enemies, and new adventures await those stalwart heroes named...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: SEASON 2, EPISODE 22 - GREEN ACTUALLY KIND OF IS YOUR COLOUR

Scene 1

Vinyl Scratch bobbed her head absentmindedly to the music blaring from the radio on her workstation, staring into space.

It was late - so late it was early - and ExTech was empty but for a skeleton crew ensuring none of the more volatile projects exploded, a few red-eyed scientists working furiously at near-complete research, and Vinyl herself. Octavia had reluctantly retired earlier after Vinyl had noticed the fatigue that assailed her partner after their recent bout of exhaustive research and insisted she rest.

The workstation’s terminal beeped, and her gaze snapped to the screen hopefully before returning to the middle distance in disappointment as she read the “Unable To Match Wavelength” message flashing unhelpfully at her for the eighth time that night.

It had started with a simple idea, as these things so often do. During a recent “Welcome to M.A.R.E!” brief she had been coerced into participating in, a passing mention of Discord had given Vinyl a flash of insight. When Lyra and Bon-Bon had returned from their encounter with the mysterious being, they had still been wearing their spacesuits. In the aftermath of the cataclysmic conflict with Nightmare Moon and the havoc of their interrupted funeral, it had entirely slipped Vinyl’s mind to run through the data the suits’ sensors would have automatically scanned during their disappearance.

Eagerly, Vinyl and Octavia had rummaged through their databases, but the results created more mysteries than they solved. According to the suits, Lyra and Bon-Bon had teleported straight from the moon to their funeral a month later. Audio, video, environmental readings, everything was as if no time had passed in that month. The lone snippet of information they had been able to successfully gather was, however, perhaps the most important. The tiniest whiff of residual magic had lingered on Lyra’s suit. Perhaps it belonged to Discord, and they could use his magical wavelength to detect his influence. Perhaps it would provide hint as to the awesome power that had allowed Lyra and Bon-Bon to travel in time and space with apparently zero effort. They had immediately begun analysis.

And here she was, days later, still analysing. The magic’s signal refused to be pinned down by technological or magical means. If they ran it through the scanners, the numbers changed, sometimes during the scan itself. If they tried to identify it magically, it threw up a different answer every time. At one point Vinyl had thrown up her hooves in disgust and declared sarcastically that obviously this was the magical wavelength of everything at once. Octavia had given her a pained look and suggested that, for all their progress, that was probably their best guess.

Vinyl sighed and rubbed her eyes. The whole thing was becoming a chore, the joy of discovery ebbing away under the weight of failure. She let her head drop to the desk, and rolled it back and forth in a futile gesture of frustration. The voice of the radio DJ made her stop and smile.

“That was DJ PON-3, with ‘Basslines Are Magic’ holding strong at number three!”

She sat up, focusing her attention on the radio. Her boredom had been such that she hadn’t even registered her own music. She loved technology in all its forms, but her cutie mark was a musical note for a reason and what little free time she had was usually spent creating. A mess of contractual chicanery on Derpy’s part had even allowed her to turn it into a source of revenue for ExTech, all with nopony in the music industry ever learning her identity. She eagerly listened to the radio. Third place in the charts wasn’t bad, but she couldn’t let a defeat go without knowing what she was up against.

“And now, down to number two in a shock upset, it’s Sapphire Shores with ‘Single Mares!’”

Vinyl slammed the desk with hoof. Shores! Every week, that blasted mare topped her in blasted sales with that blasted song and its blasted video! Every week! And ‘Basslines Are Magic’ had been so good! With grudging respect, she let the infuriatingly catchy song play out. Someone had beaten her nemesis, and she needed to know who. At last the DJ cut in over the last few lines, a practice that normally irritated her but now only fed her curiosity.

“Okay, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for! Who has managed to take Ms. Shores’ uncontested-for-how-many-months-it-felt-like-she’d-never-leave top spot? Well, it’s certainly not what I expected, I’ll tell you that! Apparently, you ponies like a little refinement in your music!”

Vinyl leaned in closer, as if proximity would make the DJ speak faster.

“This week’s number one is...”

Vinyl bit her lip in anticipation. It had to be someone new, someone totally out of the blue. Until now, Shores had been invincible. Her ear was almost touching the radio, such was her desire to glean the identity of her new foe.

“... Wait for it... newcomer Treble Clef! Treble Clef is at number one with her, and I can’t believe I’m saying this... her cello piece, ‘The Best Night Ever!’ Who’da thunk?!”

Vinyl’s head thumped into the desk again and she groaned into the metal.

“That’s it. No more tonight.”

Ignoring the low hum of the equipment that refused to do what it was told and letting the sound of Octavia’s music wash over her, she drifted into blissful, oblivious sleep.

Beep.

Scene 2

“Vinyl.”

Vinyl waved her hoof vaguely above her without opening her eyes. Some stupid voice wanted her to wake up. What a ridiculous idea. This bed was far too comfy. Bit bright, though.

“Vinyl.”

She muttered something in response, unable or unwilling to formulate actual words as of yet. She wasn’t going to dignify the voice with a coherent answer. That light was definitely turned up a little high. She was sure it had been darker before.

“Vinyl.”

The voice sure was persistent. It was time for desperate measures, or she’d never get the sleep she needed. She placed her hooves over her ears and began to sing.

“Lalalalala, can’t hear you, too busy sleeping.”

The voice harrumphed and began to talk in a sing-song tone, as if to a child.

“Okay, you keep sleeping.”

Vinyl smiled to herself. Ha! Take that, voice! Superior tactics win the day! Now, to settle back int-

“I’ll just take this picture of you, covered in grime and drooling, and post it... hmm. I just can’t think of a good place. Maybe I should send a base-wide memo.”

Vinyl’s eyes snapped open and she realised where she was. She sat bolt-upright, the feeling of the cold metal desk still fresh on her cheek. She looked around wildly, then narrowed her eyes.

Octavia was stepping back and giving her that infuriating smile of victory, obviously the source of the voice. ExTech’s bright lights were fully active and illuminated a roomful of suspiciously busy ponies trying desperately not to laugh. She looked down at the desk and sighed in relief. No drool. She was a mess though. She wasn’t one for vanity, but both the state of her mane and the time since her last shower left a lot to be desired.

She glared at Octavia.

“That was uncalled for.”

Octavia turned to the exit.

“No time to clean up, we have a briefing.”

Vinyl stood up unsteadily, the threads of sleep still clinging to her mind.

“What about Lyra and Bon-Bon? Normally they’d come and get us.”

Her partner shrugged and opened the door.

“No idea. Still, Commander’s orders.”

Vinyl smacked her cheeks and shook her head in an effort to bring herself back up to speed.

By the time they had reached Derpy’s door, Vinyl’s condition had improved. Octavia had watched disapprovingly as she slammed bits into a vending machine with fervour and gulped down the resulting coffee as if her life depended on it. The walk and the caffeine combined to push Vinyl into a state of almost, but not quite, wakefulness.

Octavia knocked, and the door hissed open. They strolled into the familiar office, picking their way across the obstacle course of muffins and piles of paper to the edge of Derpy’s desk. The Commander herself was facing away from them, looking up at her viewscreen. The screen itself portrayed nothing more than a mass of pink. Vinyl tilted her head in confusion as Derpy asked the pink screen a question.

“How are they doing?”

The pink shifted slightly and a pair of eyes slowly rose from the bottom of the screen, surrounded by a yellow coat. Vinyl realised that the wall of pink was Fluttershy’s mane and that the painfully shy pegasus still hadn’t gotten used to the Commander, despite the weeks she had spent working in the Infirmary.

“Oh, um, they’re doing fine. Nurse Redheart says they should be ready to walk by, um, the end of the week.”

Derpy sighed as Lyra’s voice called out, muffled, from behind Fluttershy, causing her to squeak and cower slightly.

“We can walk now! Let us g-ow!”

Nurse Redheart was obviously administering her particular brand of bedside discipline. Fluttershy’s face appeared on the screen again, smiling awkwardly.

“Well, as you can see, they have lots of, um, energy.”

Derpy nodded and saluted the screen.

“Thank you, Fluttershy. I’ll be down soon to check on them personally.”

Fluttershy looked panicked for a moment before she remembered the salute and hesitantly came to attention.

“Um, yes, Commander! Um, roger.”

Behind her, Lyra and Bon-Bon’s voices could be heard increasing in volume.

“I still can’t believe you thought that would work.”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time!”

Fluttershy turned away from the screen, letting Vinyl and Octavia catch a glimpse of the two ponies wrapped almost entirely in casts, propped up in ICU beds.

“Um, come on now, girls, you two need your re-”

“Everything seems like a good idea to you at the time!”

“So? I like to live life on the edge!”

“Oh, life on the edge, is it?! Well, this time you FELL OFF-”

Derpy cut the feed. Vinyl and Octavia exchanged amused glances. The two heroes were the same as ever, it seemed.

Derpy sighed and shook her head, then turned to face them.

“Vinyl, Octavia, take a seat! How are things in ExTech? I’ve been so busy with the fallout from Lyra’s latest escapade... I swear she spends her nights coming up with these things.”

Octavia leaned forward, businesslike, and filled the Commander in on their fruitless research, adding a brief outline of their more successful projects to cushion the blow. Derpy listened attentively, glancing at Vinyl as Octavia not-so-subtly informed her of their sleepless nights. As Octavia wrapped up her report, the Commander looked thoughtful.

“Any ideas as to what could help you with the Discord project?”

Vinyl thought for a moment.

“If I’m honest, Commander, we could really do with Twilight Sparkle. Before Trixie took her Celestia-knows-where, she showed me some of her notes and... wow. Just wow. I’ve never seen work like hers. With Trixie’s experience in Chaotic magic and Twilight’s brainpower, I think we could solve this in days. Maybe hours.”

Derpy’s face drooped in disappointment.

“I was afraid you’d say that. But I believe in Trixie. If she says they need to take this journey of hers, they need to take it.”

Vinyl shrugged. It was out of her hooves anyway. The Commander settled into her ‘official face’.

“On that note, the reason I called you in here.”

Vinyl and Octavia sat straighter in their chairs, curious. Usually they were called to Derpy’s office to supplement her briefings, not receive them.

“We’ve found another member of the Six.”

Their eyes widened, and Octavia raised an eyebrow quizzically.

“So soon?”

Derpy nodded.

“This one’s yours, too. The Element of Generosity, Rarity.”

She tapped a few keys on her terminal and the viewscreen flickered into life again, this time showing a still shot from what looked like a fashion magazine. A beautiful white unicorn with an immaculately-styled purple mane was reclining on a plush divan under a headline that proclaimed,

RARITY: ONE-HIT WONDER OR RISING SENSATION?

Vinyl let out a short burst of laughter.

“Wow, and here I was thinking Fluttershy and Redheart were different!”

Octavia shot her a glance which Vinyl ignored. Derpy continued.

“Now, we’ve had all the usual weirdness. She’s famous, has the right name, matches the Princesses’ description, and we’ve only just heard of her.”

Vinyl scratched her head thoughtfully.

“I still say our perceptions are being meddled with. It’s the only solution. None of the Bearers so far have had any recollection of their previous lives, and this is way too high-profile for us to just... not notice. Rainbow Dash was this close to becoming a Wonderbolt, for Celestia’s sake!”

Derpy’s eyes were already crossing in confusion.

“But if something has been hiding the Six from us, why are we finding them now?”

Octavia tapped her chin, closing her eyes as she thought.

“Perhaps the combined energy of the Elements is... counteracting this supposed glamour? I can’t deny that the time it takes to find them seems to be getting shorter.”

There was a moment of silence, which Derpy broke while waving her hoof dismissively.

“Regardless, we need to find her and bring her into the fold. If our previous discoveries are anything to go by, the Six tend to attract trouble when left on their own.”

Vinyl and Octavia nodded vigorously. Some of their staff were still repairing the damage from Lyra and Bon-Bon’s first meeting with Rainbow Dash.

“And that’s why I’ve called you here. I need you two to go undercover and recruit Rarity.”

Vinyl nodded.

“Roger that, Commander. Should be a piece of cak-wait, what?”

Derpy smiled wanly as the two scientists stared at her.

“I’m sorry, but you’re all we’ve got.”

Vinyl shook her head in disbelief.

“Let me get this straight, you want us to go on a field mission? Just the two of us?”

Octavia was equally confused.

“Is that wise? We’re hardly trained for an undercover mission.”

“Yeah! I mean, sure, we’ve gotten caught up in things before... There was that time Trixie invaded HQ... and that thing with the dragon migration... and of course the moon, but that was all totally different!”

Derpy held up a hoof to calm them down.

“We need to bring Rarity in as soon as possible and there’s just no one else I can trust. The timing couldn’t be worse.”

She began to count off the Elements of Harmony in the air.

“Lyra and Bon-Bon are incapacitated, Redheart is occupied caring for them, I’m needed here, Trixie is away with Twilight, and Fluttershy...”

There was a moment of silence as they all contemplated the consequences of sending Fluttershy alone into potentially hostile territory. The collective horrible thought was dispersed by Vinyl as she remembered one pony that hadn’t been mentioned.

“Aha! What about Rainbow Dash? She’s pretty hardcore. Isn’t she slated to join Lyra and Bon-Bon’s team anyway?”

Derpy shook her head.

“Rainbow’s still in Basic. She won’t be vetted for field ops until she’s improved her attitude. Can you imagine two Lyras on the same team? No, this will be a delicate operation. And I know you two can handle it.”

Vinyl’s shoulders slumped in defeat. Try as she might, she couldn’t see any other way. Something this important couldn’t be entrusted to anypony outside the core members of M.A.R.E, and they were the only two available. Octavia was already reaching for the briefing papers Derpy had slid across her desk. Vinyl sighed and did the same.

“Alright, fine. What’re the specifics?”

Scene 3

“My bonus had better be astronomical this year.”

Vinyl and Octavia looked up at the building that towered over them, glittering in the sun. The Best Exotic Maregold Hotel, the most prestigious and high-class hotel in Equestria, looked back at them, the very walls seeming to disdain the two working ponies that had approached it.

It was, they could not deny, magnificent. The lower floors were classic earth pony design, all stone and brick and mortar. As the hotel towered upwards, it gradually gave way to more modern steel and glass, showing the magitechnical prowess of its unicorn architects. At last, as the upper floors crested the clouds, those very clouds were incorporated into its design, shaped by pegasus artisans. An ambient magical field ensured that even earth pony and unicorn guests could enjoy the privilege of walking in the sky. It was an architectural triumph and symbol of the ancient alliance between the three sub-species.

It was also very, very intimidating.

Vinyl shifted uncomfortably in the tight-fitting dress that she wore and scowled.

“I hate clothes. Especially...” She wriggled again, trying desperately to make the impractical but oh-so-stylish dress any more comfortable, to no avail. “Especially fancy junk like this.”

Octavia, herself dressed in a crisp business suit that gave onlookers an impression somewhere between ‘professional’ and ‘assassin,’ gave her a stern look.

“You’ll have to get used to it.”

“What is it with these high-class ponies and clothes anyway? Nopony else bothers half the time.”

As Octavia shrugged, Vinyl made a childish noise of frustration and decided to try her luck one last time.

“You sure I can’t be the manager?”

Octavia shook her head.

“We have our mission. You’re the up-and-coming model who has managed to land a place in this show; I’m your manager. We infiltrate, make contact with Rarity, and extract her. That’s the mission. Now let’s get to it.”

As her partner strode towards the hoof-carved doors of the Maregold, Vinyl muttered under her breath before following, grumbling all the while.

“Still don’t see why I can’t be the manager, stupid briefing, I’d be a great manager anyways, wouldn’t have to wear this stupid dress...”

The two passed through the doors, stopping only to present their carefully-forged credentials to the burly doorpony who challenged them in a refined tone and to pass their bags to an anxious-looking unicorn colt, and no amount of professional detachment could prevent them from catching their breath.

The hotel’s interior was more impressive even than its multi-layered exterior. The grand foyer stretched out before them, the high ceiling and sweeping twin staircases making it seem wider than the building that held it. Plush red carpeting covered almost every inch of the floor, and a wide variety of statuary lined the marble walkways that linked the entrance to the doors that led deeper into the hotel. And, in the very centre of the foyer, the largest water feature they had ever seen. Surely tens of metres wide, the deep pool visually dominated the room as the leaping fountains that spilled about it threw glittering arcs of water into the air, barely missing the massive chandeliers that lit them.

Vinyl, who had never in her life given a flying feather about anypony’s opinion of her, suddenly found herself feeling deeply inadequate. There was something about the polished gleam of everything in the room, about the self-assured attitude of the stunningly-dressed ponies that trotted back and forth seemingly at random, about the very air, that brought a nagging feeling of disquiet up from the depths of her self. It was somehow... insulting.

Her reverie was broken by Octavia surreptitiously nudging her. She blinked and gave her head a small shake, clearing her mind. She’d been to the moon, for Luna’s sake. She could handle some curious stares from fashionable ponies. As she brought her head up and assumed a haughty expression, she caught Octavia’s small smile to her side. If Vinyl had to play the model, she’d darn well play the model.

Taking the lead, she strode towards the vast check-in desk, which bustled with ponies displaying various degrees of incredible wealth. She picked a clerk at random and pointed Octavia in his direction. As they neared, the tired-looking stallion made a visible effort at pulling himself together, without much luck. He gave them a welcome spiel in a tone of voice that, somewhat impressively, managed to convey utmost respect without actually conferring it.

“Greetings and welcome to the Best Exotic Maregold Hotel, the finest hotel and venue in Equestria. How can I help you?”

Vinyl said nothing, allowing Octavia to trot to the desk, pulling a form from her pocket and placing it decisively before the clerk.

“We have a reservation under the name Deep Blue.”

The pony gave the form a cursory glance and stuffed it behind the counter, nodding to Octavia.

“Everything seems to be in order. If you’re in the show, you need to see the organiser. It’s pretty informal, just go to her room. She’s just...”

The clerk proceeded to rattle off an extensive list of directions that, Vinyl was fairly certain, both extended beyond the confines of the building and doubled back on themselves several times. Octavia, however, thanked the clerk perfunctorily and turned back to her ‘ward’.

“Let’s go, Blue.”

Vinyl nodded, barely acknowledging the clerk, who was already settling back into the almost-but-not-quite slouch that seemed to be the norm for the desk staff. Once they were away, Vinyl spoke out of the corner of her mouth.

“Nice to see even the rich and famous have to deal with bad service.”

As the young bellhop they had thrust their luggage upon struggled towards the elevators, Vinyl and Octavia set off into the labyrinthine hotel. They had an Element of Harmony to find.

After what felt like an eternity of walking through ornately-decorated corridors and climbing grand staircases, they reached the door they were looking for. Roughly halfway up the steel-and-glass segment of the hotel, the door seemed no different to those around it despite apparently being the temporary abode of the pony, so far as the upcoming fashion show was concerned, in charge.

Vinyl and Octavia gave each other a determined look. This was it. Their first official field mission, and one upon which, as far as they knew, the fate of the world might hang. The moment had come for them to meet and convince Rarity, the original Bearer of the Element of Generosity, to join their cause. Whether she was a reincarnation, an amnesiac, or simply hiding for reasons of her own, they were about to meet one of the most important ponies in the world.

They nodded to each other. Taking the lead as ‘manager’, Octavia lifted her hoof and, even her stoic mask cracking slightly under the momentous import of their task, gave a short, sharp knock.

There was no response.

After a few moments, Octavia knocked again.

Still no response.

Exchanging a glance with Vinyl, Octavia raised her hoof to knock a third time, when-

“Cooomiiing!”

The voice that emerged from within the room was not what the pair had been expecting. What they were expecting, they weren’t sure, but it was certainly not the cultured, cultivated tones that addressed them. Even through the thick wooden door, the voice chimed like a bell. Within moments, the door was thrown open.

“I am so dreadfully sorry! I’ve been working on these dresses for hours now, and, well, you understand how one can simply become absorbed!”

The two scientists stared for a moment, quite unprepared for the effusive welcome the unicorn at the door had afforded them. Rarity, for she matched the description they had been given perfectly, gave them a look that hovered between interest and confusion.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure that I recognise you...”

Octavia recovered first and, with admirable alacrity, settled back into her role.

“Miss Rarity? My name is Concerto, and I represent the model, Deep Blue. She’ll be a part of your show, and we’ve been instructed to-”

As Octavia rattled off her carefully prepared introduction, Rarity had craned her neck surreptitiously to the side to see around her. At the sight of Vinyl, who had been half waiting and half hiding behind Octavia, a hungry smile crossed her face and she almost leapt from the room to Vinyl’s side.

“Darling, just look at you! What a fabulous mane! That two-tone blue, oh! You must come in immediately, I have simply the perfect ensemble for you!”

Octavia could only watch as Rarity moved behind the stammering Vinyl and eagerly pushed her into the room, eyes gleaming like... well, like a fashionista with a new project. She followed, taking in the room around her as she did so.

Her first thought was of ExTech. Rarity’s room, like the bleeding-edge laboratory, was a jumbled mess of works-in-progress, scribbled diagrams and discarded projects. She quickly realised, however, that islands of order punctuated the chaos, revealing an underlying organisation to the half-finished dresses and streams of ribbon. This was a working room, a room in which the owner could focus entirely on their art.

It was to one of these works of art that Rarity maneuvered the still-protesting Vinyl. Placing her next to the stand of an elaborate green dress, Rarity stepped back and began to size her up mentally, pacing back and forth as she seemingly tried to view the increasingly-embarrassed Vinyl from every possible angle.

Noticing her friend’s discomfort, Octavia attempted to step in.

“So, I take it you’re happy with Blue?”

Rarity nodded absentmindedly, horn glowing as she brought a tape measure into play.

“Hmm? Oh, yes! I must have her in the show. After all, the finest dress in Equestria is nothing without the right pony to wear it. And you, Miss Blue, are the right pony for this one!”

Both Vinyl and Octavia could feel the situation slipping away from them. The sheer force of Rarity’s personality was overwhelming, and even the irrepressible Vinyl was struggling to keep up.

“Okay, uh, thank you for the compliments, but we really have to-”

Before she could get any further a phone, buried beneath a pile of vari-coloured fabrics, rang loudly. With barely a break in her stride, Rarity turned from Vinyl and lifted the receiver to her ear magically, simultaneously sorting the small pile as it fell to the floor.

“Rarity speaking. Yes? Yes? Oh my, when will that girl learn? Very well, I shall be down in a moment!”

She turned back to Vinyl. Octavia wondered briefly, if uncharitably, if Rarity would even notice if she left.

“ Miss Blue... may I call you Blue? Blue, I’m afraid I must cut this short. The staff of this establishment are all wonderful, but they sometimes require a little guidance if everything is to be precisely to plan. And with the show tomorrow...”

For the tiniest of moments, a crack appeared in Rarity’s mask of enthusiasm, and Vinyl and Octavia could see the terrified artist within. They knew from their pre-mission research that Rarity’s rise to fame had been almost unprecedented, having moved from a lucky sale to Sapphire Shores to being given the chance to host her own fashion show at the most prestigious venue in Equestria within the space of a few months. No pony, no matter how confident, could be unaffected by the responsibility she was currently bearing. Her entire career rested on her results here and the two agents felt sympathy welling up within them.

Rarity quickly recovered, however, regaining her poise with practiced ease as if nothing had happened.

“So, I must be off! You may show yourself out, the door will lock automatically. It has been a delight to meet you, Blue, and I shall see you at the final rehearsal!”

Before either pony could say anything, Rarity swept out of the room.

They stood in silence for a moment, blinking in the wake of Rarity’s exit. Vinyl gathered herself and let out a deep breath.

“Wow. She is... something else.”

A faint expression of worry crossed Octavia’s face.

“Indeed. She’s certainly no Fluttershy. At this rate, we may have to delay breaking cover until after the show.”

Vinyl nodded. Rarity was clearly in no emotional state to have knowledge of world-shattering importance thrust upon her, and they could afford a delay of merel-wait, what?

“After the show?”

Octavia gave her a look and repeated herself.

“Yes, after the show.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s not what we agreed. We get in, we recruit Rarity, we get out. That was the deal.”

Octavia sighed.

“If she joins us, it’ll be of her own free will, and I don’t think she’s in a position to decide right now.”

Vinyl shook her head adamantly.

“We’ll find a way. Okay, I’m not sure how. But there is no way, no way, I am taking part in a fashion show. No. Way.”

Scene 5

The spotlights, strung along a special gantry erected between the massive chandeliers in the grand foyer, nearly blinded Vinyl as she peeked through the curtain of the huge stage that had been erected with alarming speed at the foot of the twin staircases. What she could make out through the glare made her drop the curtain, close her eyes and take a deep, deep breath. How had it come to this?

They had been unable to get in touch with Rarity for the rest of the previous day, her work on the show keeping her entirely occupied, and they were forced to continue their roles as model and manager. To Vinyl’s increasing distress, the day of the show had progressed quickly. Octavia had taken to her undercover work with her usual adaptability and efficiency, integrating Vinyl into the preparations smoothly. As for Vinyl, she had tried as hard as she could to place herself in a position where she could carry out her mission, but the opportunity had simply never arisen. The repeated rehearsals, fittings, and last-minute coaching had consumed the day in what felt like minutes.

And now the moment had come. The show was starting. She glanced around the backstage area and saw nothing that reassured her. The other models were all checking themselves over one last time. Helper ponies dashed back and forth, touching up makeup here, tightening a loose stitch there. And, standing apart from the bustle, Rarity bit her lip, praying for success. Though she had only been involved in the final stages of the show’s creation, Vinyl could personally attest to the effort Rarity had put into the evening’s events. Her desire to help her soon-to-be colleague was almost equal to her frustration at having to, as Octavia had put it with a smile on her lips, “strut her stuff.”

She awoke from her reverie with a start as she realised that one of the organiser ponies was waving her over, urgently motioning her into her place in the lineup. With mounting reluctance, she took her place as the music started and the announcer opened the show. The line in front of her began to dwindle, every pony that took to the catwalk leading her closer to her doom.

At last, the pony right in front of her strode onto the stage and Vinyl realised with no small element of panic that she was next. In a few seconds she ran through the thought process she had run through hundreds of times that day. There was nothing hard about this. She had always wanted to perform, would no doubt be performing music before crowds of thousands if she hadn’t joined M.A.R.E, and there was nothing different about this. It was just clothes instead of instruments. No problem... right? Right?

The pony before returned from behind the stage. It was her turn. She stared at the curtain, willing herself to take that first step. She wasn’t entirely sure she would be able to.

She glanced over her shoulder and, as if guided by an outside force, her eyes sought out Rarity’s. For a moment, they met each other’s gaze, and Vinyl saw the pleading in the fashionista’s expression. At that moment, she felt something she hadn’t felt for months: her Element stirring. She realised how stupid she’d been. She held the Element of Laughter, didn’t she? Rarity had placed her dreams in her and these other ponies’ hooves, and here Vinyl was getting all mopey because she was embarrassed.

She smiled warmly at her fellow Bearer and, after a moment, Rarity nodded. Perhaps she, too, was feeling hints of the power that lay within her. But that would have to wait. The show must go on. Vinyl turned back to the curtain, and stepped out.

The lights hit her like a wall again, but she blinked the glare away and kept striding forward. By the time she had reached the halfway mark on the catwalk, the scene had fully resolved itself in her eyes.

The grand foyer had been filled with chairs, every spare inch of floor devoted to seating the sea of social elite that had come to see Rarity’s work on display. The catwalk extended across the fountain, which sent graceful streams of rainbow-lit water arcing over Vinyl as she continued her walk. Octavia, as her manager, was sitting in the front row and, as Vinyl passed her, she wore the proudest expression Vinyl had ever seen her wear.

No matter how they bickered and bantered, Octavia was her closest friend, and no doubt knew exactly what Vinyl had put herself through. That she had caught herself before falling too far into melancholy had simply reassured the faith Octavia had in her friend. The sight of her smile filled Vinyl with more confidence than even her communion with the Element had. She looked out across the crowd of judging ponies and grinned. Piece of cak-

It was at precisely this moment that the entire front wall of the foyer exploded.

With a collective scream, the crowd scattered. The surge of fleeing ponies travelled in every direction simultaneously, as the rubble rained down and the music cut out. Within moments, almost the entire crowd had vanished, disappearing through doors and up stairs into the depths of the hotel, their panic taking them anywhere that wasn’t the foyer. Only Vinyl and Octavia remained, eyes narrowed at the expanding cloud of smoke and dust that had replaced the hotel’s entrance.

Behind them, Rarity emerged from the curtain cautiously, gasping in horror at what had become of her hard work, causing Vinyl and Octavia to turn their heads in surprise at her presence. Before they could say anything, Rarity gasped again and pointed in shock to the gaping hole in the wall.

“It... it can’t be!”

They followed her hoof, realising that dark shapes were emerging from the debris. The smoke began to clear, and the shapes were revealed.

A large group of ponies, almost fifty strong, stood arrayed in what looked like a battle formation. Each and every one was dressed entirely in black, with only their eyes, mane and tail visible. Each had a katana/wakizashi pair slung across their back, along with pouches no doubt also filled with weaponry. They marched forward in perfect time, spreading out to form a single line that cordoned the foyer off from the street outside.

It was at this point that Vinyl realised that every single one of these ponies’ hair was - and there was simply no other way to say it - fabulous. Every colour and style seemed represented, every way one could shape one’s mane brought to glorious life on the heads of the black-clad army.

The line broke, several of its members in the centre stepping aside to make way for four more wonderfully-styled mystery ponies, who carried upon their shoulders a beautiful palanquin. And, on the palanquin...

A blue earth pony, standing proudly as her subordinates carried her onwards. She wore a dress that looked painfully well-tailored, predominantly black with white stripes across the forelegs and chest, and a pink scarf about her neck. Her mane was cropped relatively short and was a fine gray that, along with her full tail, gave her a strangely refined look at odds with her clothing. A pair of pink sunglasses with thick black rims completed the ensemble, almost blinding even the two scientists with sheer, uncompromising style.

The palanquin-bearers knelt and lowered their load. Two more black-clad ponies blurred into existence at their hooves, and the white-haired pony used them as steps to reach the ground. She cleared her throat lightly, and the entire group, as one, struck a dramatic pose that Vinyl had last seen on a double-page spread in Le Dernier Cri during her fashion research. Before anypony could react to this bizarre but impeccably-choreographed spectacle, the white-haired pony, in a powerful and strongly-accented voice, announced herself.

“I, Photo Finish... have arrived!”

Scene 6

The ensuing silence was broken by Vinyl’s hesitant question.

“Uh... who?”

Rarity was the first to respond, voice trembling with a mixture of fear and awe.

“Photo Finish! Legendary leader of the Fashion Police! I’ve only ever heard whispers, but they say it’s a secret organisation, devoted to stealing and preserving the greatest treasures of fashion so that only they may witness their beauty!”

Photo Finish herself dropped her pose and nodded.

“Ze white-and-purple one is correct. We, ze Fashion Police, are ze true heroes of art, protecting its wonders from the ignorant masses!”

With a flourish, she pointed a hoof at Vinyl.

“And here is ze target!”

Vinyl started.

“Wait, me? What could you possibly want with me?!”

Photo Finish threw a hoof over her eyes as if lamenting that anypony could be so sadly uninformed.

“Ach, it is so sad when ze shining lights cannot witness zeir own brightness! Zat dress, darling, zat dress! It is a masterwork! But to truly shine, a dress must be worn, and you are ze one who has brought out zat piece’s light! We, ze Fashion Police, must have it, and you.”

Vinyl stared, unable to believe what she was hearing.

“Are you seriously trying to tell me that you’re invading a hotel with an army of ninja just so you can steal a nice dress?!”

Octavia chose this moment to join the conversation, having been eyeing the Fashion Police forces cautiously.

“You’ve already committed any number of crimes, and taking Vinyl will simply add theft and kidnapping to the list. ”

Photo Finish scoffed and let out a short burst of arrogant laughter.

“Ha! And you expect to stop us?”

She waved a hoof at her followers, who were all reaching slowly for their weapons.

“Zis is ze most ruthless fighting force in ze world! Zeir’s is ze ultimate tragedy - sworn both to be ze most beautiful zey can be, and to forever hide zeir faces. What can you do against zeir awesome dedication?”

Octavia opened her mouth, then suddenly realised that neither she nor Vinyl were carrying any weapons. Vinyl, realising this at almost exactly the same moment, took a step backwards and met Octavia’s eye.

“Well, for one thing, we can... run away!”

As one, the two scientists turned on their heels and galloped away from the Fashion Police. Photo Finish called to her minions in surprise.

“After zem!”

The group of fashion ninja pulled their swords from their scabbards and simultaneously leapt forward, the line breaking apart as the faster ponies pulled ahead. As the agile warriors bounded towards them, Vinyl stopped before the still-stunned Rarity and grabbed her, pulling her into a run.

“Come on, Rarity! We gotta go!”

“The Fashion Police themselves want to steal my dress...”

Even as she turned and ran with her protectors, Rarity seemed trapped in between fear of their predicament and delight that her work was considered ‘a treasure of fashion.’

Behind them, the ninja split, one group leaping onto the stage and chasing Vinyl and Rarity, their skilled hooves making barely a sound even on the hollow wood. The second began weaving silently through the minefield of overturned chairs and scattered nibbles.

On the stage, Vinyl and Rarity leapt through the curtain and ran to the door that provided the only exit from the enclosed backstage area. Their horns glowed with magic simultaneously as they both attempted to turn the handle at once in their panic. With horror, they realised the door was locked and skidded to a halt, facing the curtain in trepidation. There was a flash of blades and a silken sound, and the curtain burst into hundreds of pieces, drifting to the floor like velvet leaves. The ninja brandished their swords and advanced slowly, their prey cornered faster than they had thought. Vinyl looked around desperately, but could see nothing useful as a weapon. She gritted her teeth, and cast a sideways glance at Rarity, who was herself eyeing the Fashion Police fiercely.

“Well, come on then. If you’re going to do something, don’t just stand there.”

It seemed both Elements of Generosity had a wry streak.

Octavia herself was currently on the floor outside, having tripped over the leg of a chair that had been in precisely the wrong place at the wrong time. Two of the ninja, faster than the rest, leapt high in the air, swords pointed down at her. Octavia threw herself to one side and the two ponies hit the ground where she had been only an instant before, their blades sinking deep into the marble floor as if it were nothing. Octavia scrambled to her hooves and resumed her clambering retreat, trying to find a clear path in the maze of chairs. The other ninja swept past the two who had attacked her, flowing around them as if they were a pebble in a stream.

Backstage, the line advanced. Rarity’s stern expression suddenly transferred itself to Vinyl.

“Just who are you, anyway? First these... ninja appear, then your manager starts calling you ‘Vinyl’ instead of Blue, and now we’re running for our lives! What in Equestria is going on?”

Vinyl eyed the approaching assassins warily.

“Uh, is this really the time for this?”

Rarity sniffed.

“I don’t know about you, but if I’m going to die, I’d quite like to leave fully informed.”

Vinyl made an exasperated noise and spoke quickly.

“Okay, fine. Concerto and I are agents of M.A.R.E. My name’s Vinyl Scratch, she’s Octavia. We were undercover, but these guys,” she waved a hoof vaguely at the menacing, however slowly advancing, horde, “have pretty much ruined any chance of this being a clean op. We’re here for you, for a variety of reasons far too complicated to explain right now. And right now I would appreciate it if we could stop talking and findawayoutofthisbecausethatoneiscomingrightatus!”

A fashion ninja had taken the initiative and broken from the pack, leaping forward with her blade raised high. Vinyl pushed Rarity aside, causing the tumbling artist to shriek in surprise. Operating purely on instinct, Vinyl’s horn glowed and pulled the katana from the incoming pony’s mouth. With no reaction greater than a wrinkled brow, the ninja drew its wakizashi and continued its charge, but was stymied by a second blue glow enveloping its smaller blade and yanking that away too. Landing lightly before them, it glared at the two unicorns, both hovering the blades uncertainly before them. Neither hunters nor hunted moved.

Octavia, who had seen none of this, let out an uncharacteristic squeak as the tip of her tail was sliced cleanly away by a lucky slash. Inwardly, she cursed her body for reacting to danger in such a... feeble manner. She had reached the end of the chair maze, and was now breaking even with the far end of the backstage area. She realised that Vinyl and Rarity had not emerged and skidded around the corner, hooves scrabbling to find purchase on the smooth marble. Throwing stars thudded into the ground behind her as she turned, missing her by inches.

Her lungs burned, her scrambling flight having been more tiring than she expected. As loath as she was to admit it it, she spent far more time in the lab than she did keeping fit. She pushed her screaming muscles as far as they would go. She had to do something. She had to save Vinyl and Rarity. She would give anything to save them.

She felt something stir deep within her, something familiar. The pain in her body began to fade, and her pace quickened. The door was closer now, as were her pursuers. Without thinking, she leapt for the door, hooves outstretched...

The face-off continued, Vinyl and Rarity’s weapons wavering in front of them. Rarity waved hers in what she hoped was a threatening manner.

“Back! Back, you ruffians!”

The fabulous warriors ignored her, taking a single step forward. VInyl gulped.

“I gotta admit... I’m not sure how we’re going to get out of this, Rarity.”

Before she could reply, Rarity was thrown to the floor by a tremendous crash. The door behind them had burst inwards, shattering into splinters that flew at the enemy with such velocity that many were forced to dive out of the way. A wave of force rippled across the room, causing it to shudder on its wooden frame and knocking over mirrors and mannequins. Vinyl, who had been knocked down with Rarity, picked herself up unsteadily and, coughing, peered through the cloud of dust.

Lying on the floor where the door and a significant chunk of wall had once been was Octavia, staring at her own hooves in shock. Vinyl’s own eyes widened as her partner looked up at her and she came to the only conclusion she could.

“That was you?”

Rarity stood up in as ladylike a fashion as she could manage while picking splinters out of her mane and tottered to Vinyl’s side, muttering under her breath.

“I was under the impression that wanton destruction was standard M.A.R.E. policy.”

Octavia herself had seemingly recovered, her face taking an analytical expression.

“It appears that... somehow I have gained similar powers to Lyra and Bon-Bon.”

Vinyl shook her head in confusion, still groggy from being thrown to the ground.

“But... how?”

“I have no idea. I remember... I wanted to save you both. I swore I would give anything. I felt something...”

Octavia’s eyes widened again.

“My Element!”

Rarity trotted into the discussion, looking frustrated at her exclusion.

“Perhaps somepony could inform one of what you are actually talking about?”

Vinyl opened her mouth to respond, but before she could say a word, two shadows burst from the debris, weapons raised. Blurring with speed, Octavia was suddenly in between them and their targets, batting their swords aside and following through with a double kick that sent both ninja ponies flying into and then through the wooden walls of the room. As she touched down from her acrobatic display, she looked down at herself, unable to believe the feats she suddenly seemed capable of. Vinyl whooped.

“Alright, Tavi! Element power! That was awesome, babe!”

Octavia looked up and gave Vinyl an oh-so-familiar look.

“Don’t call me ba-”

Four more shadows emerged from the dark surroundings, heading straight for Vinyl. Octavia moved to intercept, but another four leapt into view, and she was forced to defend Rarity. The artist herself gasped in horror as the deadly warriors descended upon Vinyl.

A burst of light erupted from Vinyl’s horn and enveloped her body. Her eyes snapped open with clarity, and she readied herself. As the first ninja came into range, she deftly sidestepped the swiping sword and planted a hoof in the pony’s side, sending it the same way as the previous two. The second attack came, and she caught the blade between her forehooves and used her newfound leverage to hurl the enemy over her shoulder, where it crashed into a similarly-hurled ninja from Octavia. The final two came at once, their descending blades crossed in a lethal X. Vinyl ducked low and the two sailed over her. She span and swiped low, knocking their legs out from under them and sending them sliding across the floor to collide with a heavy trunk, knocking them out.

Rarity stared at the two suddenly-empowered ponies. The situation was progressing far too fast for her, and she felt lost.

“What... what are you two?”

“I told you, didn’t I?”

They turned to face her, moving to each others’ side. They stood on their hind legs back to back. Octavia folded her forelegs, while Vinyl placed hers on her hips. She grinned, a beam of light from outside catching her teeth in just the right way to produce that particular gleam that can only be described as ‘ting.’

“We’re agents of M.A.R.E.”

Scene 7

The moment, which was later described by Vinyl as “so awesome,” by Octavia as “admittedly quite cool,” and Rarity as “rather over-dramatic, I thought,” was broken by Photo Finish’s voice echoing through the foyer.

“Enough!”

The pitter-patter of covered hooves told them that the fashion ninja were retreating, presumably at Photo Finish’s command. Cautiously, Vinyl, Octavia and Rarity peeked out from the curtain, the two super-powered scientists leading the way.

The forty-odd remaining ninja had assembled behind Photo Finish again, many of them glaring at the trio with narrowed eyes. Photo Finish stamped a hoof in frustration.

“Zis is unacceptable! It seems I, Photo Finish, have made a terrible mistake. I foolishly assumed zat ze greatest fighting force in Equestria would be sufficient to deal viz three ponies.”

The ninja cringed as one, their leader’s displeasure cutting to the core of their honour.

“But! Zis is not an issue. Though we have lost a fifth of our number, we will not be defeated! I will sacrifice no more of my minions to your unexpected strength. For you see...”

Rarity whispered to Vinyl and Octavia as Photo Finish rambled on.

“So, do we have a plan? Surely with your new abilities...”

Octavia shook her head.

“There are still too many. I say we retreat, find some way of calling in backup.”

Vinyl looked thoughtful.

“I don’t know, Tavi. Those guys are fast, and I don’t know if we could protect Rarity and beat a tactical withdrawal at the same time.”

Rarity tossed her mane indignantly.

“I’m quite capable of looking after myself, thank you.”

Vinyl gave her a flat look.

“Against an army of ninja? An army of ninja that’s already nearly killed us?”

Rarity’s self-assured expression dissolved into a resigned one.

“Hmph, well, if you put it like that... Anyway, I thought they were after you and my dress?”

Vinyl and Octavia exchanged glances, then Octavia spoke carefully.

“You are... more important.”

It became apparent that Photo Finish was winding down, and they focused their attention back on the blathering pony.

“... across all of Equestria! And so, if we cannot have ze dress, nopony can! Behold! The Fashion Police’s ultimate weapon!”

Photo Finish pulled a gem-studded control panel from her dress and pressed the large diamond button that dominated it. A strange electronic noise buzzed in everypony’s ears, and the spotlights that had lit the stage jerked and turned to face the water feature, colour filters snapping into place. A rainbow of coloured beams shone into the deep pool. There was a low rumble, and the pool bubbled furiously. Photo Finish laughed triumphantly.

“Meet your doom, foolish ponies! Meet your doom at ze claws of ze most beautiful creature in all of Equestria! At ze claws of... Ze Thing From Ze Place!”

There came a tremendous roar and a vast purple shape erupted from the fountain, the varicoloured lights gleaming from its lovely luminescent scales. Water cascaded across the room, the droplets hanging in the air forming a thousand tiny rainbows around the magnificent beast. Vinyl, Octavia and Rarity’s necks slowly craned up, taking in its sinuous form, expertly coiffed mane and elegant fangs.

It truly was, in every possible sense of the word, the most absolutely fabulous sight they had ever or would ever witness.

The serpent looked down at them, eyes glinting with malice. Vinyl’s expression moved through fear, confusion, bedazzlement, fear again, and settled on incredulity.

“This is just the weirdest day.”

Lightning-fast, the creature hissed into action, snapping its jaws at them. Its immaculate teeth snapped shut where the ponies had been not an instant before, and its eyes darted back and forth, searching out their prey. Octavia and Vinyl had split, Octavia dragging Rarity behind her, all three attempting to outrange the serpent by galloping away from the fountain. Photo Finish scoffed and pressed another button on her control panel.

The searchlights, somehow under her control, intensified, their beams becoming lines of rainbow fire. Moving swiftly, they lit a blazing barrier around the fountain before the ponies could escape, hemming them in with the great beast. It roared again, and raised its tail from the water, swiping it at Octavia and Rarity.Octavia leapt in front of Rarity and planted her hooves firmly on the ground, taking the blow head-on. Her hooves made grooves in the marble floor as her developing powers struggled to match the mighty serpent’s natural strength.

Vinyl, meanwhile, had taken the opportunity to leap onto the serpent’s body, thrilling in her new agility even as she battled for her life. Galloping along its coils, she hopped from its spine to its claw, then up to its face, planting a mighty kick on the side of its chin. Her momentum carried her past it, but it recovered and turned with snake-like speed, smacking her to the floor with a mighty claw. She gasped as the wind was knocked from her.

Octavia, too, was not faring well. Though she had blocked the tail’s first strike, it was coiling back for another attack, and she could feel her body flagging again. Though their Elements were at last lending them their true strength, it seemed that they still needed time to grow into their powers, and time was one thing the Fashion Police weren’t throwing at them. She stepped back, and her hoof touched something. She looked down, and grinned uncharacteristically. She looked across to Vinyl, who met her eye and grinned back, having had precisely the same idea herself. Rarity stood fearfully back and watched as these two strange ponies put their life on the line for hers.

The creature struck at both ponies simultaneously, both tail and head whipping down at their targets. But Vinyl and Octavia were already gone. Almost faster than the eye could see, the two ponies grabbed the swords at their hooves and leapt, crossing paths in mid-air as their trajectory carried them past the serpent’s face. They landed, places traded, and spat the swords from their mouths. The beast flung its head back and roared...

And, to the great surprise of everypony in the room, burst into tears. In a high-pitched voice, it wailed its lament.

“Oh no! Oooh nooo! Oh, what a world, what a world! How could you do such a thing?!”

Nopony moved or spoke, entirely unsure of what to make of this bizarre development. Great clumps of orange hair wafted into the fountain’s waters, and it became apparent that the beast had managed to dodge VInyl and Octavia’s strike, only for one side of its luxurious moustache to be severed. There was a terribly awkward moment as the serpent wept, until Vinyl rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment and broke the relative silence.

“Um... are you okay?”

The serpent sniffed and started waving its arms dramatically.

“Am I okay? Well, I don’t know, someone just cut off half of my beloved moustache, and now I look simply horrid! Do you think I’m okay?!”

Vinyl and Octavia shuffled their hooves uncomfortably, guilt rising in them despite everything.

“Well... you know... you were attacking us, and we... reacted?”

The serpent gasped indignantly and raised a claw to its chest in horror.

“Ah! How can you blame moi?! I’m just doing my job!”

Unexpectedly, Rarity’s voice rang out.

“Exactly! Look at this poor fellow!”

Everypony’s gaze turned to the unicorn striding purposefully to the foot of the fountain, looking up at the serpent with sorrowful eyes.

“How can you be so insensitive? Just look at him! I cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected!”

Before anypony could react, Rarity had levitated a katana from the floor and, with one swift slash, cut of her own tail, wincing as her own image was ruined. Wrapping the limp bundle of hair in her magic, she lifted it to the water serpent's face and entwined it in the sad clump that was all that remained of one half of its moustache. Within moments, it sported a rather fetching purple and orange moustache combo that even Photo Finish grudgingly admired.

The serpent giggled in delight and looked down its long nose, admiring its new look.

“Ohohoho! My moustaaache! How wonderful!”

Rarity smiled and turned to Vinyl and Octavia, who were still staring, mouths open.

“You see, ladies? This poor creature is simply misunderstood!”

The serpent nodded enthusiastically.

“I know!”

Rarity looked up at him, eyes wide with sympathy.

“And I bet the Fashion Police don’t even appreciate the hard work he does!”

The beast continued to nod, eyes brimming with tears.

“Oh, I know, I know!”

Rarity moved to the side of the fountain and laid a comforting hoof on the serpent’s side, stroking it gently.

“I mean, look at how ferociously he attacked us! He had you two on the ropes! Such gusto!”

The serpent brought its claws to its face, clutching its cheeks with raw emotion.

“It’s sooo truuue!”

Vinyl managed to gather herself enough to speak again.

“Uh... yeah! That sounds... uh... terrible.”

The serpent cast a conspiratorial glance about the foyer, then whispered to the ponies from behind a claw.

“Do you know, I’m not involved in the planning process?”

Rarity raised a hoof to her chest in shock and gasped.

“Mercy, no!”

Her reptilian confidante sniffed and nodded with conviction.

“They don’t even let me in the meetings.”

Rarity turned to Vinyl and Octavia and gave them a soulful look, as if she could hardly believe their callousness at not weeping for this poor, mistreated wretch.

“They don’t even let him in the meetings.”

She turned back to the serpent and smiled warmly.

“Well, I for one think it's high time that this beautiful beast struck out on his own.”

He gasped and looked around as if every eye was upon him.

“You don’t mean...”

Rarity nodded and winked.

“I think it’s time you taught them a lesson, hmm?”

The serpent looked thoughtful for a moment, then drew himself up.

“Hmph! Maybe I will!”

Dipping his head beneath the water, he took a great breath, filling his mouth with fluid. He emerged and, with terrifying power, fired it in a thin but powerful stream. Stronger even than the billowing flames around him, the beam of water sliced through the flames and extinguished them instantly in a hiss of steam. The stream died away and the serpent gave a satisfied grunt.

Rarity, Vinyl and Octavia turned to face the remaining Fashion Police, who had been watching the unfolding scene with increasing confusion. The towering serpent coiled behind them, arms folded and head cocked in a fashion that could only be described as ‘sassy.’ Rarity smiled cockily.

“Well, Photo Finish? Care to try to steal my dress now?”

Photo Finish gritted her teeth and looked back at her minions, who as one had taken a fearful step back. She tutted.

“Very well! It seems it is time for us to make...”

She thrust her hoof in the air so fast it made a sound like a whip cracking.

“... ze retreats! We go!”

The Fashion Police all threw tiny spheres at the ground and disappeared in a huge puff of tastefully sparkling smoke.

The serpent hugged itself and giggled with glee once more.

“Oh, that was wonderful! I feel so much better! Thank you, my little pony, thank you! Please, if you ever have another show, you must give me a call!”

He bent down and planted a leathery kiss on Rarity’s cheek (or rather, her entire face), waved, and dived back into the fountain, presumably returning to whatever vast channel had allowed his entry.

There was a long, long silence as the three ponies simultaneously ran through the events of the evening. Eventually, Rarity spoke.

“Not bad for my first show, really.”

Vinyl nodded slowly and replied, voice cracking slightly.

“Piece of cake.”

Scene 8

Vinyl and Octavia sat in Derpy’s office, watching as Derpy read their mission report for what they were fairly certain was the eighth time. The Commander’s face seemed unable to settle on any one expression.

At last, she laid the paper down and put her head in her hooves, muttering what sounded like a prayer to Celestia. She took a deep breath and raised her gaze to the two scientists sitting in front of her.

“So, let me get this straight. I send you two in on a clean undercover op, in which you are to locate and extract Rarity with a minimum of fuss. Within a day, however, the entire front wall of the grand foyer is demolished by an army of, and I quote, fashion ninja. During your attempts to protect Rarity, you both spontaneously develop superpowers. This forces the army, and I feel the need to repeat myself here, of fashion ninja to deploy their fabulous backup serpent and set the foyer on fire. Rarity then proceeds to somehow talk this creature into abandoning their cause, leading to their flight from the scene.”

She opened her mouth to continue, then closed it again. She closed her eyes for a moment.

“Is that about right?”

Vinyl coughed and added,

“And we, uh, we told Rarity about M.A.R.E. and she agreed to drop her career and join us.”

This seemed to be the final straw, and Derpy threw her hooves in the air.

“And thank Celestia for that! Otherwise we’d have nothing to show for an incident that surely rivals Lyra’s most ludicrous escapades! An incident that means I have to go before the city board and explain that the extensive damage caused to Equestria’s most prestigious hotel, and the trauma that many of its guests are claiming vast sums for, was caused by an army of fashion ninja!”

Octavia and Vinyl winced as the tirade washed over them.

Derpy sighed and massaged her temples.

“But... madness aside... you did good, girls. With Rarity, we now have four of the Six. Four of the greatest ponies ever to have lived. We’re closer than we’ve ever been to finding out just what’s going on in this messed-up world. It’s only a matter of time.”

She stood slowly and saluted. The two scientists, chests swelling with pride, saluted back.

They turned to leave, but Derpy called them back.

“One last thing. I haven’t told you what Rarity will be doing during her time with us.”

Octavia cocked her head questioningly.

“True. I mean no offence, but I’m not certain how her fashionista talents will be useful to our organisation.”

Derpy grinned, and this time there was the faintest edge to it. Vinyl felt a tingle on the back of her neck.

“Uh... Commander?”

Derpy’s grin intensified, years of covering for reckless agents and dealing with the damage to the city without a word of thanks finally coming to a head.

“Vinyl. I hear you and Rarity had a minor clash of personalities.”

Vinyl shifted uncomfortably, unsure where this was going.

“Uh, nothing serious. It was just, you know, she’s kind of... girly. I’ve never been one for the frilly frou-frou, and she lives for it.”

With terrible deliberateness, Derpy pulled a form from one of the treacherous piles on her desk and passed it across.

“Well, considering that since going public our attempts to minimise collateral damage have been completely ineffective, I have decided that we must improve our image in other ways. For example...”

Vinyl shook her head, seeing the path the conversation was taking.

“Oh no. Oh, don’t do this to me, Commander. We’re better than this. We’re friends. You wouldn’t do this.”

“... for example, our technology. Which is why I’m assigning Rarity to ExTech as your new Public Relations officer. She will be in charge-” She raised her voice gleefully over Vinyl’s groan. “-in charge of making sure your inventions are more visually appealing to the populace, so as to present a kinder image of M.A.R.E.”

As Octavia led the protesting Vinyl from the room, nodding to the Commander unreadably, Derpy finished her spiel with relish.

“I’m sure the results will be... fabulous.”

The door closed on the Commander, who picked up a muffin and took a slow, satisfied bite, relaxing in her chair.

[ Credits roll. ]

Coming soon: Season 2, Episode 11 - Have A Bad Day? Make Someone Pay!

Season 2 - Episode 11: Have A Bad Day? Make Someone Pay!

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: SEASON 2

by Arcainum

Edited by R.T. Stephens (FiMFiction)

Opening Titles

The justice has been doubled! Though the world has been saved from Nightmare Moon, Metropony remains under threat. With the Empire gone, a new wave of super-criminals has emerged to fill the vacuum of power! How will the bastion of Harmony fare in an increasingly Chaotic world?! New friends, new enemies, and new adventures await those stalwart heroes named...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: SEASON 2, EPISODE 11 - HAVE A BAD DAY? MAKE SOMEONE PAY!

Scene 1

Lyra downed the last of her drink and slammed her hoof on the bar.

“Berry! Need another one over here!”

The plum-coated earth pony scowled at her, slinging the mug of cider she had already prepared along the metal surface of the counter.

“Would it kill you to ask politely once in a while?”

Lyra waved her forehoof dismissively, bringing the mug to her lips with the other. Berry Punch half-heartedly wiped a glass with a rag that could, at a stretch, be considered “clean,” and cast a discerning glance around her establishment.

Though officially and unimaginatively named “HQ Lounge,” it had become affectionately known amongst its clientele as “The Element of Barmony,” frequented as it was by the six ponies at the top of M.A.R.E’s loose hierarchy. Besides Lyra, a group of soldiers, several medical ponies, and an ExTech researcher gently nodding off into his drink occupied the comfortable chairs that Berry had insisted she be allowed to furnish the place with.

“If I’m going to run the place where the saviours of the city go to unwind,” she had said when approached in secret by a M.A.R.E. recruiter, “they’re going to be able to unwind.”

She felt no small pride at having been chosen by the organisation and secretly believed herself one of its most vital members. She had seen things in her time at HQ, heard the stories the Elements would sometimes tell the grunts when the lights were turned down, the cider was wordlessly replaced with... stronger beverages, and the salt started flowing. But no matter what the ponies of M.A.R.E. went through, no matter what terrors threatened the city... Berry would be waiting, mug on hoof and ready to listen.

Frowning at the unexpected introspection, she strolled over to where Lyra was nursing her drink and looking irritable. Berry pulled up the stool she kept below the bar for situations like this and sat down opposite Lyra, crossing her forelegs.

“All right, lay it on me. Why the long face?”

Lyra sighed, resting her chin on a hoof.

“Ah, it’s nothing.”

Berry gave her a look that every pony in M.A.R.E. had learned to recognise, a look that said she knew you wanted to talk and wasn’t going to leave until you did.

“Oh, fine. I’m just... bored.”

Berry blinked. This wasn’t what she was expecting.

“Bored? You’re moping around in my bar like somepony died because you’re bored?”

Lyra sat up straighter, trying to articulate her feelings.

“I don’t mean bored bored, I mean... bored. Nothing’s happening!”

Berry continued to stare.

“Ugh, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

Lyra gave her a flat look before sighing and taking another swig.

“Okay, this is going to sound weird, but...”

Berry leaned forward slightly, despite herself. She had sworn that, no matter how much she cared for the ponies she served, she would maintain a certain level of professional detachment. She’d go mad otherwise. But what could possibly be bugging Harpflank herself? What could possibly be getting the city’s greatest defender down?

“I kinda wish something would attack the city.”

There was a brief silence.

“Yeah, that does sound weird.”

Lyra sighed again.

“You see? I told you, you wouldn’t understand.”

She waved her hooves vaguely in the air.

“It’s like... when I’m fighting, or training, or fending off whoever decides they’re a super-villain today... my life has meaning, you know? I’ve got something to do. I mean, there’s always music, but that’s who I am, not what I do... do you know what I mean?”

Berry nodded sagely. She didn’t know what Lyra meant, but she nodded sagely anyway.

“But it’s been weeks since anything even looked at us threateningly! Even the Crusaders have been quiet! The Crusaders! Which is good and all, but... you know? Say what you like about Trixie, she was punctual. Always knew when she was coming.”

Berry closed her eyes in thought. Lyra went back to her cider, doodling little pictures in the foam.

After a minute, Berry opened her eyes again and pointed an authoritative hoof at Lyra.

“You need a hobby.”

Lyra stopped tracing a surprisingly detailed outline of herself punching a Lunatron and raised an eyebrow.

“A what now?”

Berry leaned forward, increasingly sure of her suggestion.

“A hobby. You need something to do, to dedicate yourself to. I’d have said your harp, but that’s obviously not something you do for just passing the time. And Celestia knows there's not much to do in the base. So find something else.”

Lyra’s expression turned pensive, a hint of interest gleaming in her eyes.

“Something else... Yeah. Yeah, that could work! I have been getting too wrapped in my job. Maybe I could-”

She was interrupted by the Lounge’s door slamming open, causing the relaxing ponies to start and spill their drinks. Bon-Bon galloped into the room, eyes scanning the room wildly. With a triumphant cry, muffled by the leaflet she held in her mouth, she spotted Lyra and rushed over, leaping over several tables in her haste and eliciting protesting grumbles of protest from the ponies whose drinks she nearly scattered.

She came to a halt at the bar, panting. Dropping the leaflet on the bar, she sat down eagerly.

“Lyra, you have to see this! You’ll never guess who’s coming to Metropony! I can’t believe...”

She trailed off as she realised that Lyra had leapt from her stool and taken a combat stance, and Berry Punch was halfway to pointing a rather large gun across the bar. There was a moment of silence as the two parties stared at one another, Lyra and Berry’s narrowed eyes meeting Bon-Bon’s embarrassed glance. Bon-Bon laughed nervously.

“Took you by surprise?”

Lyra settled back into her seat and Berry stowed her weapon, shaking her head. Bon-Bon quickly regained her enthusiasm and pushed the leaflet over to Lyra, eyes wide with excitement.

“Look, look! Iron Will is hosting a seminar! Later today! Can you believe it?!”

Lyra picked up the gaudy leaflet and inspected it curiously. Dominating the cover was a picture of a blue minotaur, two ponies tall, flexing his biceps while giving two thumbs-up and flanked by two ponies wearing confident expressions. Lyra flicked through the leaflet, frowning.

“So, what? He’s a... motivational speaker?”

Bon-Bon gave Lyra a look she knew well. It was the look she would dispense when Lyra said things like, “Hoity who?” or, “Which one is Spitfire again?”

After letting the look sink in, Bon-Bon launched into her explanation.

“Iron Will is the most successful act in Equestrian history! He’s done sell-out self-help shows all over the world, and they’re supposed to be amazing. There’s all kinds of rumours about him! Like, he’s so inspirational, he once got a rock and a tree to start a relationship! They say he’s so successful they had to invent new numbers just to accommodate his bank balance.”

Lyra, taking no small pleasure in returning the act that Bon-Bon had performed so many times, stuffed a hoof into Bon-Bon’s mouth.

“You’re gushing, BB.”

Bon-Bon slapped Lyra’s hoof aside lightly and frowned.

“I am not gushing. I do not gush. I am... expressing my enthusiasm.”

Her eyes lit up again.

“So, anyway, he’s in town today, performing at the Hedge Maze, and we have to go.”

Lyra glanced at Berry, who shrugged as if to say “You’re the one who was bored,” and smiled.

“Why the hay not?”

Scene 2

“You weren’t kidding when you said he was popular...”

Metropony Convention Centre, popularly known as “The Hedge Maze” thanks to its naturalistic stylings and arcane layout, was packed. Lyra and Bon-Bon stared at the thousands-strong crowd that filled the entrance hall, awed by the milling throng. Everywhere they looked were ponies buying merchandise, chatting excitedly, and shuffling impatiently, while scruffy goat attendants distributed snacks and drinks. Lyra eagerly grabbed a few, addressing Bon-Bon through a mouthful of canapé.

“Sho... Thish guy ish preddy...” Noting Bon-Bon’s disapproving gaze, she rolled her eyes and swallowed. “So, this guy is pretty upmarket, huh? This waiting room might as well be a pre-party.”

Bon-Bon nodded excitedly, eyeing the merchandise booths. Lyra followed her gaze and laughed.

“You are such a sucker for fame.”

Bon-Bon huffed, puffing out her cheeks in a childish pout as she always did when Lyra managed to put her on the receiving end of the jokes for once. Even as she did so, however, she was nonchalantly strolling towards the nearest stand, where a dishevelled-looking goat wearing a headset was passing out mugs, saddlebags, lifting weights, magazines, anvils... If it could conceivably have the face of a minotaur painted on it, they apparently sold it.

Lyra chewed thoughtfully on her latest snackquisition and casually scanned the room for interesting faces. A pink-maned pegasus caught her eye briefly, but she was quickly swallowed by the crowd and Lyra’s gaze moved idly on. She couldn’t deny that she was enjoying herself. Just being in a new place, doing something she didn’t do every day, was strangely liberating. She hadn’t realised how deep the rut she had been falling into was. The day she found being in a queue exciting was a day she had never thought would come.

“Hey, BB, when does it actually sta-” She cut herself off with a snort of laughter that sprayed a nearby stallion with a fine mist of moist crumbs. He cringed in disgust and turned to leave, walking face-first into the source of Lyra’s amusement as he went.

A pile of Iron Will merchandise, just higher than a pony, seemed to have developed life and begun moving about the room. The pink-and-blue mane protruding from the gap between a bag of hats and a mug the size of Lyra’s head betrayed its true form, however. The ambulatory merch made its way to the gasping Lyra’s side and asked, indignantly,

“What? Too much?”

Lyra’s answer was drowned out by the Hedge Maze’s PA system, renowned for being “loud enough to stun a dragon and deep enough to shake it awake.”

“All guests, please move to the auditorium.”

Bon-Bon instantly dropped her load, holding her hooves to her mouth and making a sound that could only be described as “Eee!” Lyra burst out laughing again, and the two friends joined the flow of the crowd, eagerly awaiting what was to come.

Scene 3

"IRON IS WILL IS MY NAME...

The vast crowd, tens of thousands strong and crammed into an indoor arena that could only just hold them, yelled back as one.

“TRAINING PONIES IS YOUR GAME!”

A screaming rock tune blasted from the enormous speakers, competing with the roar of the crowd for one of the loudest things Lyra had ever heard. Jets of flame and streaming fireworks ringed the stage and into the noise and light leapt a large blue figure, bursting from the curtain and sliding to the edge of the stage on its knees, arms spread wide. As the fire died down and the stage became clearly visible again, the minotaur raised his microphone to his mouth and roared,

“Hello, Metropony!”

He was greeted by an even louder cheer than before, and the stomping of hooves made the entire building shake. Lyra nudged Bon-Bon and, speaking directly into her ear to be heard over the roar of the crowd, shouted,

“This guy is pretty awesome!”

“I know!”

Iron Will stood up. He was... big, and not just physically. His voice seemed to fill the room even without the aid of the pounding speakers, and his every movement was filled with a violent energy. His body practically thrummed with power, and the stage trembled with every step of his hooves.

The cheering died down. Anticipation hung thickly in the air. Something stirred within Lyra, an urgent need that clamoured for her attention. She pushed it to the back of her mind and tried to focus on the show.

The minotaur strode back and forth across the stage, voice booming both from and over the speakers.

“I wanna hear you stomp if you’re tired of being a pushover!”

The crowd complied, whooping and screaming along. Lyra snorted with laughter yet again as Bon-Bon cheered with the rest of them. Inside, however, the urge was growing stronger.

“Stomp if you’re tired of being a doormat!”

The cheer was even louder this time, almost physically. Greater even than the roar of the crowd, however, was the desperate need that Lyra could no longer ignore.

“BB! I gotta go, uh, go! I’ll be back in a minute!”

Bon-Bon, unable to hear her over the din and too absorbed in Iron Will’s spectacle to notice her leave, continued to wave her hooves in the air in a manner that suggested that she just didn’t care. Lyra smiled and shrugged, pleased to see her oh-so-focused friend let herself go. She began squeezing her way along the row, a litany of “Oops, sorry, ‘scuse me, pardon, whoa, easy there...” following her as she trod on more hooves and kicked more shins than she could readily count.

Scene 4

The entrance hall was eerily quiet when Lyra cantered back from her excursion. The facilities had been located a frankly inconvenient distance from the arena proper and it had taken her almost half an hour of not watching the show to get there and back, to her great irritation. Slowing to a trot, she cast a quick glance about the large room.

The counters and merchandise stalls were all empty, devoid of even the Hedge Maze staff and Iron Will’s legion of goat roadies. The only sound was the dull boom of the show filtering through the thick walls of the auditorium.

“That’s weird...”

Where was everypony? Shouldn’t there be - her hardly-encyclopaedic knowledge of the running of convention centres failed her - cleaners? Ponies to let in latecomers? Security? Anything.

Just as she was ready to shrug the mystery off and head back inside she realised that there was somepony in the room with her, standing by the auditorium’s main door with their hoof raised uncertainly. As she trotted closer, she recognised the yellow-coated, pink-maned pegasus that had caught her eye before the show.

“Hey! Where’d everypony go?”

At the sound of her voice, the pegasus simultaneously whirled to face her and squeaked in fright, tossing her mane over her face in an effort to hide. Slightly taken aback by the excessive reaction, Lyra closed the distance between them slowly.

“Uh... are you okay?”

The pegasus peeked out from behind her hair, a single wide eye greeting Lyra cautiously.

“Oh, um, I’m sorry. I-I’m fine. You just, um, frightened me.”

Lyra cocked her head back toward the empty room.

“Any idea where everypony went?”

The pegasus shook her head and shuffled her hooves. Every movement was hesitant, careful, as if Lyra was a bomb she was terrified of setting off.

“Um, no. I arrived late and nopony was here, so I, um...”

She looked back at the door and gulped. Lyra rolled her eyes.

“Don’t tell me you were scared of going through the door.”

The pegasus flinched slightly at her accusation and, after a moment’s internal struggle, nodded in shame.

“I thought if I came in late, everypony would... look at me...”

She shuddered, as if the very thought was anathema. Lyra laughed, and the pegasus looked up in surprise.

“Believe me, you got nothing to worry about. There’s one hay of a show going on in there; nopony’s gonna notice a pony as quiet as you walking in!”

Smiling at the joke and blushing at its accuracy, the pegasus brushed her mane away from her face - a gesture that Lyra later realised was a kind of acceptance, a removing of armour. This was one shy pony.

Lyra gripped the door’s handle with her magic and prepared to enter, but something compelled her to stay. The pegasus was still hanging back, looking around the empty hall nervously and twitching whenever particularly loud cheer erupted from the adjacent room. Lyra looked back at her for a moment, then let her magic fade. She trotted back to the pegasus’ side and prodded her in the shoulder, stifling a laugh when she jumped and squeaked again.

“So, come on, what’s your name?”

The pegasus looked down as she responded, her voice barely audible.

“...Fl...er...y...”

Lyra blinked. Surely she wasn’t that shy.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

The pegasus kicked at the ground gently with her hoof.

“...m ...tter...y...”

Lyra gave her a flat stare. The pegasus, perhaps sensing that Lyra was not one for wasting time, coughed and raised the volume.

“I-I’m Fluttershy. It’s, um, very nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, it’s a pleasure. Name’s Lyra.”

Lyra opened and shut her mouth a few times as she tried to work out how to proceed. She felt oddly protective of this demure and unassuming pony. She was obviously cripplingly shy, and it took no guesswork to see why she was attending (or, at least, attempting to attend) a world-famous self-help seminar. She shrugged mentally.

“So, you’re pretty shy, huh?”

Fluttershy’s stared at her wide-eyed for a moment, shocked by her bluntness, then smiled wanly.

“Um, yes. My friend told me about Iron Will’s shows and, well, I thou-”

“Wait, wait, wait. Did you say your name was Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy stuttered at the interruption, fumbling her response.

“Uh, um, yes? M-My parents said I was named for the park...”

Lyra’s eyes widened in surprise, then she cried out in triumph, sending Fluttershy several surprised steps backwards.

“I knew it! I knew I’d seen you somewhere before! The Princess’ drawings!”

She gasped as wonderful realisation gripped her.

“Oooh, BB is going to flip when she finds out I found the second Element without her!”

Her little prancing dance of victory was cut short by the pegasus in question’s quiet voice.

“Um, I’m sorry, but... What are you talking about? I’m just a pony.”

Lyra trotted over to her and clapped a hoof across her shoulders, grinning in her face. Fluttershy shrank back at Lyra’s effusive space-invasion.

“Oh, you’re more than just a pony, Fluttershy. You’re one of the most important ponies ever born.” She swept her hoof skywards to emphasise her words.

“Um... okay?”

Lyra let her go and headed back toward the door, horn glowing as she took hold of the handle.

“I’m just gonna grab BB, then we can get out of-”

“GET OUT OF THE WAY!”

A booming bellow burst from the auditorium the exact moment that Lyra opened the door. She heard Fluttershy gasp just as she turned her head to witness Iron Will bearing down on her at full lumbering speed, chased by what seemed like the entire crowd - a wave of bodies ready to smash against them.

“What in the-Oof!”

The wind was knocked from her lungs as Iron Will collided with her, throwing her across the room. She managed to twist in the air and land on her hooves, stumbling into Fluttershy as she attempted to regain her balance. The pegasus shrieked in surprise as she and Lyra tumbled to the floor in a heap.

The floor rumbled with the pounding hooves of the crowd, and in a single fluid motion Iron Will skidded to halt, span on his hooves and slammed the door closed. Muscles bulging in his enormous arms, he tore a thick metal beam from a sculpture donated by Apple Family Inc., jammed one end through the wall, twisted it across the door and hammered the other end home, creating a makeshift bar. There was a terrifying slam as the ponies on the other side impacted with the hastily-secured door, then an insistent banging as they tried to force their way through.

The panting minotaur turned to face Lyra and Fluttershy, still tangled on the floor, and gave them an exhausted double thumbs-up, gasping an introduction.

“Hey there! Iron Will’s... my name... training ponies... is my game!”

Scene 5

Blowing strands of Fluttershy’s mane from her face, Lyra disentangled herself from the dazed pegasus, glaring at Iron Will.

“What do you think you’re doing?! Look at you, you could’ve killed me!”

Iron Will scratched behind his horns sheepishly, a surprisingly awkward gesture for the hulking creature.

“Oh. Uh, sorry ‘bout that. Iron Will had to make a quick getaway. They’re going crazy in there!”

Even as he spoke, the thumping at the door continued. Lyra eyed it nervously.

“What is wrong with them?”

The minotaur shrugged.

“I don’t know! I’d just finished outlining the process, fired up the video, and pow! There’s a horde of ponies running me down! You ever seen a minotaur try to fight twenty thousand ponies? You’re lucky Iron Will came through the door!”

“So... everypony just went crazy at once?”

Fluttershy, who had by now picked herself up, padded to Lyra’s side, imperceptibly leaning away from the looming figure of Iron Will.

“Maybe they, um, didn’t like the show?”

Both she and Lyra flinched from Iron Will’s bark of laughter.

“Didn’t like the show? Didn’t like the show? Didn’t you read the flyer? If you’re not one-hundred percent satisfied, you. Pay. Nothing!”

He punctuated his words with theatrical shadow boxing, punching the air with gusto.

“There’s no way somepony wouldn’t like the show. Never happened, never will!”

Lyra shook her head and turned to leave.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, big guy. Come on, we gotta see what we can find out.”

“Whoa whoa whoa.” Iron Will held up his hands, as if dropping something distasteful. “Iron Will isn’t looking for trouble. Iron Will didn’t get up today planning to get lynched!”

Lyra frowned and turned back, walking up to Iron Will and prodding him in the chest accusingly.

“You know what I didn’t get up today planning for? Coming to a show I’ve never even heard of, getting lost in some stupid convention centre for half the event, and coming back to find that an entire crowd, which includes my best friend, has simultaneously flipped and the one probably responsible isn’t going to lift a hoof to help!” She glanced at his hands. “Finger, whatever. The point is, I’m going to find out what’s going on and put a stop to it because that’s my job. And you’re going to help me do it, or I’m gonna show you what a bad day really is.”

With a final “Yeesh,” she spun on her heels and stalked away, heading for the door she had entered from on her return from the little mare’s room. Iron Will stood stunned for a moment, before turning to Fluttershy and jabbing a thumb in Lyra’s direction.

“Is she always like that?”

Fluttershy looked after the muttering Lyra.

“Um, we only just met. But... probably, yes.”

Scene 6

Lyra peeked around the corner, exposing as little of herself as possible. Fluttershy joined her, head poking out beneath Lyra’s, followed by Iron Will’s above. The three quickly withdrew as one of the patrolling ponies at the other end of the leaf-muraled corridor casually glanced in their direction.

“Patrolling” was perhaps the wrong word. The roving packs they had encountered and subsequently avoided had all seemed to be doing nothing more than taking a leisurely stroll about the Hedge Maze, appreciating the decor and chatting about how much they’d enjoyed the show. At no point had they exhibited the ferocity that had marked their pursuit of Iron Will.

As the group passed them by, Lyra whispered the question to Iron Will that she had already whispered a dozen times.

“Are you sure they weren’t just ticked about your show?”

The crouching minotaur gritted his teeth as he answered.

“Yes! Iron Will never leaves an audience unsatisfied! That’s a guarantee!”

“Hmm.”

Lyra bit her lip. Though she would never admit it, she grew more worried with every corner they turned. As much as she ribbed Iron Will, she had seen the faces of the crowd clearly as they chased him... She suppressed a shudder and wished Bon-Bon were with them. Bon-Bon would know what to do, how to solve this mystery.

“E-Excuse me...”

Lyra shook herself free of her reverie and turned to Fluttershy.

“Um, I think we should move... I think I hear hoofbeats.”

Lyra strained her ears and, sure enough, heard the unmistakable sound of approaching ponies from the way they had come. With a nod and a wave, she ushered her companions along the corridor recently vacated by the previous group, mind racing as she followed. These ponies were everywhere, the Hedge Maze was... well, a maze, and they had no destination beyond “find out what’s going on.” Soon, very soon, they were going to be discovered, and she had no idea what would happen when they were.

At that precise moment, she heard Iron Will bellow.

“Hey! You with the teeth!”

“Oh no...”

Wincing as the minotaur’s cry shook the walls around them, Lyra span and galloped to his side past the cowering Fluttershy. She reared as high as she could, planting her forehooves on his chest in a futile attempt to reach eye-level.

“What are you doing?!”

Iron Will pointed down the corridor, where a thick-haired form was vanishing around the next corner with a terrified bleat.

“That was one of my goats! They ran off when the crowd went crazy; maybe he knows something!”

“That’s great and all, but did it occur to you that we are trying to be quiet?! What if somepony heard you, shouting like that?!”

A tap on her shoulder made her drop back to all fours, and Fluttershy crept into view.

“I think they already did...”

The sound of approaching hooves had magnified, no longer the steady clip-clop of leisurely trotting. Lyra could make out three, maybe four, galloping ponies behind them. She ran a hoof through her mane in frustration before waving Fluttershy and Iron Will on again.

“Okay, let’s get that goat. It’s our only lead!”

The hooves behind them grew louder as they ran, and just before they reached the corner the goat had disappeared behind, Lyra threw a backwards glance over her shoulder. She wished she hadn’t.

Three ponies - cream, magenta and pink - were charging after them, heads lowered and teeth bared in vicious snarls. There was nothing of the carefree attitude she had seen in the patrol’s eyes; only a cold aggression that bordered on... hatred. As she inadvertently met the eye of the cream pony leading the charge, it cried out in rage.

“Try to get away, and we’ll make you pay!”

Iron Will slowed, a look of confusion darting across his bullish features.

“Hey, that sounds like one of my sloga-”

“That’s fascinating, now keep running!”

As Lyra dashed past him, the minotaur shook his head thoughtfully. Noting Fluttershy was falling behind, he hoisted her bodily under one arm (eliciting a surprised squeak) and ran after Lyra.

Scene 7

“...Where’d he go?”

After losing the pack of ponies through a combination of Lyra’s quick-thinking and Iron Will’s unique affinity for taking shortcuts through walls, their pursuit of the goat had led them to a ornate door with playful frescoes carved into its wooden surface. Upon bursting through it, they had found themselves in one of the arena’s Boxes. The small, glass-walled room was filled with plush seats, fine carpet, and a buffet that Lyra, having had to run for hours on nothing more than nibbles, could barely bring herself to look at.

It was also furnished with a distinct absence of goat. Lyra trotted in, Iron Will following curiously as Fluttershy peeked out from behind him. It was immediately clear that the room was empty.

“We were right behind him! We heard this door close! He has to be in here!”

As Lyra ranted, Fluttershy had cautiously stepped up the window and looked down into the arena proper.

“Oh my...”

Though many of the crowd had left the arena - no doubt ambling the convention centre in their strange way - there were still several thousand ponies occupying seats. To a pony, their eyes were fixated on the enormous screen that dominated the stage. The screen itself showed a presumably hypothetical Iron Will at the head of a boardroom being applauded as he presented some no-doubt greatly self-assured graph, giving his trademark double thumbs-up and saying “If they make you frown, just talk ‘em down!”

As she watched, her lips began to move in time with Iron Will’s.

“If they make you frown, just talk ‘em down...”

The scene changed to the guru, for some reason, being scolded by a minotaur couple dressed like a stereotypical family. The discussion quickly turned in his favour and he strolled out the house, his ‘parents’ looking apologetically through the window as the thumbs came up again.

“Trying to keep you inside? Just push ‘em aside!”

“Trying to keep you inside... just push-”

“Hey, Fluttershy!”

Lyra called from the other side of room, where she and Iron Will had been hunting for secret passages in a vain hope that the goat knew something they didn’t. Fluttershy whirled around and fluttered angrily a few feet into the air, teeth bared and eyes flashing.

“What? I was trying to watch, you arroga-” She gasped as she heard herself and brought her hooves to her mouth in shock. “Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry!”

Lyra carefully walked toward her.

“Whoa, you ok? What was that?”

Fluttershy shook her head in response, eyes wide with self-recrimination.

“I-I don’t know! I was just watching the video and then, when I heard you... I was so angry!”

Iron Will plodded over, picking his teeth after having investigated the buffet to his satisfaction. He glanced into the auditorium.

“Boy, I really put on a good sprea- Hey! Someone’s cut up my movie!”

Lyra turned to look, but Fluttershy quickly grabbed her shoulder and shook her head.

“I, um, don’t think you should watch it!”

Iron Will was fuming.

“They’ve totally ruined it! Now it’s just a list of slogans! There’s a lot more to the Iron Will Method than a bunch of rhymes!”

It was at this point that an idea struck Lyra. It was an unfamiliar sensation, as she usually let Bon-Bon do the thinking when it came to danger. She was a creature of instinct. But that was it, wasn’t it? Instinct!

“I... think I know what’s going on. You said that’s not your movie, right?”

Iron Will nodded, eyebrow raised.

“And after watching it for - what, a minute? - you almost flipped out on us.” Lyra nodded to Fluttershy, who blushed at the mention of her sudden aggression. “I think your video is causing everypony to go crazy.”

Iron Will pointed an accusatory finger at Lyra in response.

“Hey! I don’t like what you’re saying about Iron Will’s methods! Iron Will’s program is about assertiveness, about standing up for yourself! My motto’s always been ‘Anger - use it, but don’t lose it!’”

“But what if it got... I don’t know, magicked or something? What if it worked too well and they’re not crazy, just way too assertive? So assertive it makes them want to put everypony else down?”

There was a brief silence.

“We gotta stop that movie.”

“Um, why don’t we just smash it?”

Hero and minotaur looked at Fluttershy in surprise. She coughed, looking away.

“I’m just saying, it’s only a screen...”

Lyra shook her head, tapping her chin thoughtfully. All this running around and planning was getting frustrating. She just wanted to kick something, to save the day the way she saved it best.

“No. They’re already brainwashed, so we need to find whatever or whoever made the change in the first place and find out how to reverse it. Who does your backstage stuff?”

Iron Will shrugged.

“I just leave it to the goats. I think they hired independent contractor from Metropony this time, though. We’ve never done a show this big, and we needed some extra muscle.” He flexed at ‘muscle.’

“Um, excuse me.”

“Aaah, if that guy hadn’t vanished on us, we could have asked him! Why does today have to be so complicated?!”

“Excuse me...”

“Hey, don’t come complaining to me! I just came here to do a show and help you ponies realise your true potential! Ain’t my fault you go crazy at some mixed-up movie!”

“Um, Lyra, there’s a-”

“It’s your fault this whole thing is happening in the first place! If you got involved beyond strutting around shouting slogans-”

“Excuse me, please!”

Lyra and Iron Will both jumped as Fluttershy’s shout filled the room. She cleared her throat and continued once the two were staring at her.

“I’ve been here before and there’s, um, a control room over the stage. That’s where they run the A/V from, so we should go there and see if anything’s changed.” She blushed and smiled sheepishly. “Um, if that’s okay with you.”

Scene 8

Before long the three impromptu companions were standing before the door to the control room. Their journey had been as uneventful as it had been tense. A combination of luck and the sheer size of the Hedge Maze had given them ample opportunity to avoid patrols, but the thought of what might happen if they were discovered had kept them on edge. With Lyra unable to defend herself against civilians, Iron Will unwilling to, and Fluttershy... being Fluttershy, stealth was their only option.

They took their positions according to the pattern they had developed - Lyra taking point, Iron Will ready to charge in after her in case of danger, and Fluttershy hovering near the ceiling in the hope that anypony to get past her companions would run beneath her.

“Okay. There could be anything in here, so get ready to improvise. I’m used to this sort of thing, so follow my lead, and we should be good. Clear?”

Fluttershy and Iron Will both nodded at her whisper. Lyra shifted her weight and took a deep breath.

Then she kicked the door down, leaping in and readying herself for whatever may come. As the dust kicked up from the floor of the control room cleared, Iron Will barrelled in after her, fists raised. Fluttershy peeked under the doorframe. They all stared at what the room revealed.

A huge, complicated magitechnical apparatus took up a large chunk of the surprisingly large room, humming with energy both electrical and magical and hooked via myriad of thick cables to the wide bank of dials, switches and screens that controlled the auditorium. Upwards of twenty goats trotted back and forth, technological gewgaws of every kind held in their mouths as they bustled about maintaining the machine. At Lyra’s entrance, they had frozen in fear, several stiffening entirely and falling to the ground.

But the most surprising thing was what lay behind the apparatus. Standing at the window, heads whipping around in surprise, were two tall, gangly unicorns wearing waistcoats and boaters. Lyra’s eyes widened.

“You!”

One of the unicorns, sweat trickling from his forehead to lodge in his moustache, gulped.

“I think the jig’s up, brother o’ mine.”

Scene 9

The Flim Flams backed up against the window as Lyra advanced angrily across the cluttered room, goats scuttling from her path as she bore down on the travelling mercenaries.

“Now now, uh, Lyra m’dear, there’s no need for viole-”

Flim’s mouth clamped shut as Lyra raised a hoof menacingly, her face making it very clear just how much need for violence she considered there to be. She stomped to a standstill before the two cowering unicorns and leaned over them. Her voice as cold as an icicle and twice as sharp, she snapped,

“What are you two doing here?”

Flim seemed unable to open his mouth again so Flam spoke in his place, rattling off patter in their characteristic machine-gun fashion.

“Why, we’re merely providing our five-star services - with a little help from technology that we in-no-way-unfairly appropriated from the remains of certain celestial empires - to a satisfied, paying customer!”

He yelped as Lyra thrust her face close to his.

“I’ve had a really bad day, Flam, and I’m pretty sure it’s your fault. If you want to keep that moustache, I’d play straight. What are you doing here, and why aren’t you all... exploded?”

Now that Lyra’s attention was focused on his brother, Flim found his voice.

“Oh, just the same little thing that helped us out the last time you consumed us in fire, young filly!”

“And the time before that!”

“And the time before that!”

“A little thing called...”

The two brothers, even as Lyra glared at them from inches away, threw their hooves up with a flourish and declared their answer in a sing-song cry.

“L-U-C-K, and that spells luck!”

Lyra stared at the two unicorns for a few seconds, during which their eyes flickered uncertainly from her to each other to the minotaur blocking the door that was their only escape. Then, with a minimum of ceremony, she knocked their heads together sharply and they slumped to the floor unconscious. She stood up, dusting a strand of red hair dislodged by the impact from her shoulder, and turned to Iron Will and Fluttershy, trotting to where they stood by the Flim Flam’s contraption.

“Okay, problem solved. Let’s figure out how to reverse thi-”

“With all due respect, madam, we cannot let you do that.”

Rolling her eyes and groaning, Lyra threw her head back in frustration, crying out to the universe that seemed determined to frustrate her.

“What now?!”

Without warning, the goats that had been quivering on the floor leapt to their hooves and surrounded the trio. They took a step forward, hemming them in, and Lyra’s nostrils wrinkled at the rank stench of their lank-haired coats.

Iron Will’s, meanwhile, were flaring with rage.

“What’s going on here?! I’m your boss!”

The voice that had interrupted Lyra spoke again, its urbane lilt carrying a bleating edge to it.

“Awfully sorry, Iron old boy, but it is at this point that our professional relationship must come to a close.”

There was a noise, almost exactly like hooves crushing cereal, and blue energy crackled in the air around the room’s lone entrance. Iron Will clenched his fists, Lyra clenched her teeth, and Fluttershy clenched her eyes shut. With a flash, the arcing light faded and revealed...

“... A goat in a top hat?”

Stepping carefully over the remains of the door was a goat of an exceedingly dapper persuasion. His coat, unlike his brethren, was fine-combed and lay flat against his body, and his beard was trimmed neatly. His horns, poking through the brim of the velvet hat that lay rakishly atop his head, were buffed to an almost mirror sheen. He winked at Lyra through the monocle that adorned his right eye.

“Very observant! I had hoped to remain at large amongst your assertive brethren but, alas, your untimely intervention and the dwindling power of my cloaking device have forced me to play my hoof rather early.”

Lyra struggled for words, and could only repeat herself.

“... A goat in a top hat?”

The jaunty newcomer chuckled heartily.

“Surprised, eh? I certainly do not blame you! The other fellows do have something of an... issue with presentation, something I have endeavoured at great lengths to change. But, well, tell a goat to wash and he rolls around in the mud. One step forward, two steps back, what?”

Iron Will found his voice and leaned forward menacingly.

“Just who are you, anyways? You ain’t like any goat I’ve seen.”

The goat slapped a hoof to his forehead.

“Oh, I have entirely neglected my manners! Bartholomew de Geit, at your esteemed service.” Sweeping one leg expansively, he dipped into a deep and respectful bow. “As for the difference between myself and my fellows, well...” His eyes narrowed for a split second, a hint of steel beneath his amicable demeanour. “Let us merely say that, unlike they, I have made something of myself.”

Fluttershy peeked out from behind Iron Will, visibly battling her desire to curl into a ball.

“Um, why are you doing these horrible things to everypony?”

“And what did you do to my show?!”

“And why are you making my day worse?!”

De Geit began pacing back and forth as he spoke, in much the same way that Iron Will had punctuated his speeches onstage.

“Ah, and now we reach the crux of the matter. What, I see you wondering, could a goat like myself possibly gain from driving twenty thousand ponies to homicidal rage? Too small a number to act as an army - I’m sure the fine ponies of M.A.R.E would have some ingenious and spectacular method of dealing with such a problem - and too large to satisfactorily utilise as a hostage group.”

The only sound now was the wheezy breathing of the goats and Lyra’s increasingly impatient hoof-tapping.

“The answer, ladies and gentlefellow...” He stomped his hoof as he turned back to face them and fixed them with a hard stare. “The answer is havoc.”

He moved to the window overlooking the auditorium, the gazes of the encircled trio following him warily as he went, and looked down at the ponies milling below. A gentle sigh escaped him, its genuine melancholy surprising his captives.

“Your surprise at my appearance says more than I ever could. We are a second-class species, and it has ever been so. Griffons, ponies, zebras, dragons... even rabbits are more respected. And we have done little to change that. I mean, honestly. Have you seen what I’m working with?”

He turned to face them again and swept an ironic hoof toward his comrades. One of them coughed, releasing a visible cloud of dust. Another scratched behind its ears with one hoof like a dog. He sighed again.

“Case in point. As I raised myself on the streets of Trottingham, I saw what we were. But as time passed, as I watched the pony elite pass and taught myself their ways... I saw what we could be. To you, I am a curiosity, an abnormality. To my species?”

His eyes shone with conviction, tears welling in their corners.

“I am potential. I am what goats can achieve if they fight the status quo, if they realise that they are more than wordless bleaters catering to the whims of an oblivious society. And that is precisely what I shall demonstrate here in Metropony, the heart of the pony hegemony.”

Iron Will snorted in anger.

“You ungrateful... When I hired you goats as kids, you were on three meals a day! Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal!”

De Geit’s response was sharp, his seemingly-unflappable drawl drowned in irritation.

“We are goats, Mr Will. We like oatmeal. Your ignorance merely serves to illuminate the issue. You hire us as... roadies and manual labourers and consider it a step up. But when these ponies are released... No matter how or when they are stopped, they will cause chaos before they are done. And the world will see what goats can do.”

There was a silence, broken only by the slowing of de Geit’s impassioned breathing as he regathered his dignified air.

“Um... Mr de Geit? You’re wrong.”

The villainous goat raised an eyebrow.

“Mmm?”

Fluttershy appeared from behind Iron Will, hovering as close to the ring of goats as she dared, and looked de Geit in the eye.

“Your plan is wrong. I’ve never really met a goat before, but... maybe ponies have mistreated you, and that sounds terrible. But if you do this, then no one will want to help you. They’ll just call you, um, criminals. They’ll banish you, or throw you in a dungeon, or banish you and then throw you in a dungeon in the place that they banish you to. And then you, the only goat who ever stood up for his people, will be gone. And that wouldn’t help anypo... um, anygoat, now, would it?”

De Geit scoffed at Fluttershy's determined expression.

“Hmph. Naive. Your Princess Luna understood. The only method of truly enforcing change is revolution.”

He nodded to the goat closest to Fluttershy and, quicker than anypony expected, it bit Fluttershy’s tail and pulled her sharply to the ground. She cried out in pain as she hit the floor.

A red mist descended over Lyra’s vision.

“That’s it!”

Faster than the eye could see, she leapt toward the offending goat with such force that the floor dented beneath her. With a single enraged kick, she sent the goat flying across the room to impact with the window, shattering the acrylic glass in an instant. The goat sailed into the auditorium, becoming tangled in the lighting gantries high above the stage.

Even as she locked eyes with the recoiling de Geit, Lyra called out.

“Iron Will! They’re all yours! If anything happens to Fluttershy...”

The minotaur cracked his knuckles and squared himself before the closing circle of assailants.

“Oh, don’t worry, pony. I got this. I’m gonna teach these goats gratitude Iron Will style!”

Lyra advanced on de Geit, the goat’s hooves scrabbling at the floor as he scurried back from her. Her eyes flashed with anger, anger of a magnitude she hadn’t felt since battling Nightmare Moon.

“She did nothing to you, de Geit. None of these ponies did. You did all this, you took their minds away and threw an innocent pony to the ground because they had the gall to disagree with you. And all because you felt, what... inadequate?”

De Geit had reached the wall by now, and was trying so hard to back further away that he had pressed his back against it, wobbling on his hind legs.

“Well, you picked the wrong day to do it, and the wrong place to do it in. I promise I will do what I can to help your people. If I have to kick down the door to Celestia’s palace, I’ll find out if what you say is true. But you are so incredibly wrong if you think I’m going to let you waltz into my city and ruin everypony’s day.”

She leaned in so close that the goat could feel her breath on his face. De Geit looked into her eyes, and saw the sorrow behind the rage.

“Because I’m Harpflank, and I will not let you make the same mistake I did.”

She pulled her hoof back. But before the blow could fall, de Geit made a strange clicking sound with his tongue and clumsily rolled from beneath her, skipping toward the door and calling over his shoulder.

“You have not heard the last of de Geit, ponies! By my hat, you will see the goats rise!”

With a flash of blue energy, he vanished. Before Lyra could turn and pursue him, a muffled but strangely familiar voice reached her ears.

“You threaten my master, I beat you faster!”

The ceiling exploded, showering Lyra, the goats, Iron Will and Fluttershy in plaster and debris. A cream blur rocketed downwards, slamming into Lyra and pinning her against the very wall that she had so recently pushed de Geit against. Coughing and struggling to pull the hoof at her throat away, Lyra desperately blinked the dust away and squinted at her assailant. Her eyes widened in horror even as those of her attacker narrowed.

“Oh, no... Not you too.”

As Fluttershy struggled to free herself from beneath a chunk of ceiling, as Iron Will kicked and punched and threw the goats that leapt back into the fight every time he repulsed them, as Lyra’s mind raced as to what in Equestria she was going to do now...

Bon-Bon raised her hoof to strike.

Scene 10

Iron Will caught the goat’s flailing hoof in one hand and swung it into another, sending them both flying. Another jumped on his back and began snapping its teeth at the back of his neck. Before it could find any purchase, he bent double and reached over his head to grab the goat by its sides and slam it to the ground before him. The others circled him warily. He spat on the floor, snorting steam from his nostrils.

His battle had already reached a stalemate. Though he vastly outstripped them in strength, the goats seemed almost preternaturally resilient and they outnumbered him twenty to one. He silently wished that that Lyra pony was helping him out. He’d heard stories about Harpflank and Sweets, the superpowered defenders of Metropony, and, after seeing Lyra’s assault on de Geit, now very much believed them.

A nervous cry caught his attention. Two goats had separated from the pack and were advancing on Fluttershy, who was still trapped beneath the rubble that the other pony’s entrance had created. He bunched the muscles in his legs, gathering his strength. The goats around him hesitated, uncertain as to his intent. Then, with a roar, he leapt across the room in a single bound, landing with a crash between the goats as they looked up in surprise and fear. Grabbing one in each hand by the horns, he brought them together with a resounding crash. He dropped them contemptuously and they staggered away, dazed beyond any ability to fight.

He dropped to his knees and lifted the rubble from Fluttershy’s squirming body with one movement. She scrambled to her hooves, wincing at the bruises on her side.

“You alright, ma’am?”

Fluttershy nodded, expression as strong as it had been during her declamation of de Geit.

“Um, I’m okay. Thank you, Mr Will.”

He grinned, even as he heard the goats close in behind him. Then he span on his heels and leapt back into action.

Across the room, Lyra was still staring wide-eyed as Bon-Bon’s hoof flew toward her face. At the last second, she snapped out of her surprise and planted both hind legs in Bon-Bon’s midriff, hard. Her friend was catapulted away, shifting her weight gracefully in mid-air to hit the opposite wall with all fours before dropping lightly to the ground. Lyra coughed as the pressure on her throat was relieved and she slumped from the wall.

Within an instant, Bon-Bon was leaping at her again.

“BB! You gotta snap out of-”

Before she could finish her sentence, she was forced to dodge Bon-Bon’s blow, ducking low and attempting to swipe her friend’s legs from under her. Bon-Bon hopped over Lyra’s sweeping kick and threw one of her own, connecting with Lyra’s cheek with enough force to send her rolling along the damaged floor. Clenching her teeth as she bounced across the thick cables, Lyra planted her hooves on the ground and skidded to a halt.

“Yeesh, I always forget how fast you are!”

Even as she spoke, Bon-Bon arced toward her, forelegs outstretched in a double kick that could shatter steel. Lyra rolled, barely escaping the blow, and Bon-Bon slammed into the floor, sending a shockwave across the room that made Iron Will stumble and Fluttershy leap into the air, beating her wings furiously in fear.

Lyra gritted her teeth as she came to her hooves and tried to think even as her partner blitzed at her once more. At that moment, she saw Iron Will spinning a goat by its hooves, ready to toss it violently away. A desperate plan formed.

“Will! Over here!”

Clocking her call, the minotaur hurled the goat like a hammer in her direction. Both goat and pony flew toward her, and she crouched ready to move. If her timing was off...

“Now!”

Bon-Bon launched from her gallop into her trademark flying kick. Just as the blow was about to connect Lyra leapt straight up, kicking down sharply and using Bon-Bon’s head as a stepping-stone, sending her partner chin-first into the ground. Her extra height took her into the flying goat’s trajectory and she caught its head between her hooves, spinning in the air and using its momentum to hurl it at Bon-Bon’s sliding form.

“Another! Higher!”

“I’m trying to fight here!”

Despite his complaints, Iron Will threw another goat in Lyra’s direction, this time arcing it above her.

The goat Lyra had thrown collided with her friend, pinning her. Even as Bon-Bon glared up at Lyra, legs curled to kick her burden from her and eyes bright with hatred, Lyra twisted and hit Iron Will’s second living projectile with all fours, launching herself back down at Bon-Bon like a green missile and sending the goat spiralling into the gantry with its fellow.

“Time to repay the favour!”

Lyra’s hoof connected with Bon-Bon’s face with enough force to collapse the floor of the control room, and they tumbled into the corridor below. A great plume of dust erupted from the new hole in the floor and filled the control room with a grey haze. Eyes wide at the immense forces in play and battered from their futile conflict with Iron Will, the remaining goats scattered, the cloying cloud covering their escape. Iron Will bellowed after them.

“I’ll get you, goats! Iron Will doesn’t take no guff from no goat, you hear me?!”

In the wreckage of the floor below, Lyra straddled her friend, panting heavily, hoof raised for a second blow. Bon-Bon glared up at her, and opened her mouth to speak.

Then she stopped.

Slowly, unexpectedly, the fires of rage died, and were replaced with the gleam of indignation.

“You hit me!”

Lyra blinked.

“I... uh... yeah.”

Bon-Bon brought a hoof to her swelling cheek, wincing in pain.

“You hit me!”

And, suddenly, everything was right with the world. Lyra threw her hooves up as if to highlight the devastation above them and replied with equal irritation.

“You were all crazy and mind-controlled!”

“You didn’t have to hit me!”

“What else was I supposed to do?!”

“I don’t know, break the spell or something!”

“Oh, so it’s okay for me to get punched in the face, but not you?! That seems fair!”

Iron Will peered down at the bickering ponies, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Hey, uh, we gotta sort out these ponies, remember?”

The two ponies stopped mid-argument, words catching in their throats as they remembered that there were twenty thousand ponies in exactly the same situation Bon-Bon had been in not moments before.

It was at that moment that a crowd of ponies galloped into the corridor, making Lyra cry out a final time against the injustice of it all.

“Does it ever end?!”

She hopped from Bon-Bon to a ready stance, glancing at her friend questioningly. They couldn’t just beat up a crowd of civilians, but it seemed increasingly likely that they would have no choice.

Fluttershy hovered uncertainly above the soon-to-be melee. She closed her eyes and put her hooves over her ears, wishing it would stop. Why did everypony have to be so angry? Why couldn’t they just talk things out? Surely all these problems could be solved with just a little kindness! She felt the frustration rise. It was not the searing rage that the Flim Flam’s mind control had briefly induced, but a sincere and burning annoyance that everypony could be so stupid. She threw her head back and screamed.

“Stooooooooop!”

The crowd immediately skidded to a halt, and a deep silence fell over the area.

Breathing heavily, Fluttershy alighted and strode to the control panel. Pressing the PA button, she spoke firmly into the microphone. Her soft voice echoed throughout the entire building.

“Now you listen here, everypony. You all get back in the auditorium right now.”

A low rumble shook the building as, inexplicably, the horde of ponies complied. The group that had been charging the two heroes scurried out of sight with their tails between their legs. Pony after pony hurried into the huge room below while Fluttershy tapped her hoof impatiently. She turned to the incredulous Iron Will.

“Mr. Will, could you please put my face on the screen?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

Snapping to attention before hurrying to the control panel, the minotaur deftly flicked switches and ripped cables free as Fluttershy looked on.

“Okay, look in this camera here.”

Fluttershy trotted to the small lens, nodding curtly as she went.

“Thank you, Mr. Will.” She fixed the camera with a steely gaze. “And as for you...”

Twenty thousand ponies collectively shrunk back in shame.

“You should be ashamed of yourselves! The nice Mr. Will invited you to his show, trying to help you feel better about yourselves, and look at what you did!”

The crowd shuffled its many hooves.

“Now, I understand that these Flim Flam fellows put some kind of spell on you, but that’s no excuse for this kind of behaviour, now is it?”

A barely audible murmur of assent crept from the crowd’s lips.

“I can’t hear you...”

“No, it isn’t.”

The huge projection of Fluttershy’s face nodded matter-of-factly.

“No, it is not. My poor friend Lyra just wanted to watch a show, and instead she had to spend all day running around and saving the city. What do you say to her, hmm?”

“...ry.”

“What was that?”

“Sorry, Lyra.”

Lyra and Iron Will could do nothing but stare at the shy little pegasus. After being dragged around for hours, needing constant protection, here she was staring down an arena’s worth of brainwashed ponies and, apparently, breaking magitechnical mind-control through sheer force of will.

“Now, I want you all to go home and think about what you’ve done. And if I hear that anypony is still attacking other ponies...”

The crowd collectively shook their heads emphatically, letting loose a tide of fearful variations on “We won’t! We’re very very sorry!”

“Good. Now, off you go.”

As one, they stood and shamefully began to trail out of the convention centre. Fluttershy turned back to the others and smiled brightly, fanning her face with a hoof.

“Oh my. That was exciting, wasn’t it?”

Scene 11

Lyra kicked the Barmony’s door open unceremoniously and trudged in. The M.A.R.E. clientele, startled at her entrance, settled back into their drinks as she weaved through the tables to take her usual seat at the bar. Bon-Bon was already there, sipping a milkshake absentmindedly as she pored over a sheaf of papers. Lyra slumped onto her stool, resting her head on the bar, and waved half-heartedly at Berry Punch, who rolled her eyes and started to pour.

“Hey, BB.”

Taking one final slurp, Bon-Bon looked up and cocked her head quizzically.

“You okay?”

Lyra shook her head, cheek squeaking on the polished surface of the counter.

“Long day. I don’t know how you can just sit there reading whatever after you spent hours all crazy.”

“Well, it’s not like I actually did much while I was brainwashed. De Geit just told me to wait above that room until he gave the signal.”

Lyra looked up at her, wincing as Berry slid her mug across the bar to connect with the back of her head with a quiet thonk.

“What was it like? The mind-control thing, I mean. I asked Fluttershy before Derpy got ahold of her, but she was never properly under. Said she couldn’t remember.”

Bon-Bon chewed her straw, looking thoughtfully into space.

“I felt... good. Really good. Like I was the best pony in the world, and the only way to show it was to listen to de Geit.” She sighed. “I wish I could’ve seen Iron Will’s actual show, though.”

Lyra sat up, grinning, and magically lifted her drink toward her lips.

“Aww, does Bon-Bon need help to be more assertive? Did those mean ol’ goats push you around?”

Bon-Bon laughed, an unusual combination of frown and giggle that she had quickly developed after becoming friends with Lyra, and playfully punched her friend’s shoulder.

“Oh, shut up. But... thanks.”

Lyra glanced over the foam cresting the rim of her mug, mouth too full to reply properly.

“Mmph?”

“For snapping me out of it, I mean.”

Lyra swigged the rest of her drink in one gulp and wiped her mouth, winking.

“Hey, we’re friends, right? It’s like I said; I was just repaying the favour.”

She slid from her stool, yawning, and Bon-Bon turned in surprise.

“You’re not staying?”

Lyra shook her head as she trotted away.

“Nah. I gotta go see a Princess about a goat.”

Season 2 - Episode 21: They'll Shower Us With Nothing

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: SEASON 2
by Arcainum

Opening Titles

The justice has been doubled! Though the world has been saved from Nightmare Moon, Metropony remains under threat. With the Empire gone, a new wave of super-criminals has emerged to fill the vacuum of power! How will the bastion of Harmony fare in an increasingly Chaotic world?! New friends, new enemies, and new adventures await those stalwart heroes named...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: SEASON 2, EPISODE 21 - THEY’LL SHOWER US WITH NOTHING

Scene 1

The door to ExTech opened with its customary hiss and Lyra and Bon-Bon stepped through, Lyra trailing behind her partner like an admonished child.

"Still don't see why I couldn't have just smacked him around a bit..."

Bon-Bon spun on her heels and treated Lyra to the full force of her "Seriously?" frown.

"You couldn't just 'smack him around a bit' because we're meant to be heroes! I swear, sometimes I feel like you've forgotten what that me-"

"You're here! Oh man, Tavi, they're here! Guys, you have to see this.”

The moment they had entered, Vinyl Scratch's head had snapped up from her work and she had leapt from her chair, galloping toward them and skidding to a halt mere moments before colliding into Bon-Bon. The two heroes blinked in surprise, and curiosity crept into Lyra's morose expression.

"What's got you going? I haven't seen you this excited since you tried to weaponise Fluttershy."

"Hey, one day I will find a way to make that pony dangerous, mark my words." Vinyl shook her head furiously. "No, wait, that's not important! What's important is… Tavi! Where's the stuff?!"

"One... minute..."

Octavia waddled into view from the main office, stumbling along on her hind legs as she struggled to carry a collection of brightly-coloured plastic… things. Gasping with effort, she slumped onto Vinyl's desk, letting the assorted gimcrackery tumble across its metal surface. As her three friends trotted to her side, she pulled herself back to her hooves and cast a weary glance in Vinyl's direction.

"Because levitation would've been too much effort."

Vinyl stuck out her tongue, then whirled back to Lyra and Bon-Bon. "Okay, so, you have to check this out. Derpy's been working overtime on the whole ‘make the city not hate us’ thing as usual, and… oh, man... guess what we just got straight from the manufacturers?"

Bon-Bon looked closer, Lyra peering over her shoulder. As one, their eyes widened and their mouths dropped open.

"Are those…action figures?"

"Is that us merch?!

Vinyl grinned. "That it is, my friends. That it is. Say hello to the first run of the Harpflank and Sweets action figure line. It's got all the Elements, Nightmare Moon, a couple randoms… Hay, there's even a Flim and Flam two-pack."

Lyra and Bon-Bon scrambled forward, driven by pride and love of licensed goods respectively. Lyra lifted her tiny plastic self close to her face, gaze following every contour.

"I don't know, seems kinda…tatty."

Vinyl shrugged in response as Octavia stalked back into the main office. "Well, this is just the prototype. Once we've given our approval, they’ll tidy up the design and-"

"What does this button do?" Bon-Bon was scanning the Sweets figurine with a practised eye and was reaching her hoof curiously toward the button on its back.

Vinyl dropped the miniature Redheart she had been levitating idly and hurriedly replied. "Uh, I wouldn't press that, they haven't qui-"

"I think the way Lyra sits is kinda weird!"

Silence fell. Bon-Bon froze, one hoof hovering over the innocently smiling toy and smile plastered across her face as the lab ground to a terrified halt. Lyra turned slowly to face Vinyl, who smiled nervously as sweat beaded on her forehead.

"Say, Vinyl. That was a pretty sweet impression of BB there. Who'd they get to do the voices?"

Vinyl swallowed. "Oh, well, you know the Commander, she wanted full cooperation, so… I, uh…" Her eyes shifted awkwardly, searching for an escape. "…I tossed them some audio from the lab recorders. For, uh, placeholders. You know."

"Oh. Audio from the lab recorders. Cool."

Silence descended once more, with a vengeance. Bon-Bon very slowly lowered the toy, laying it down on the desk with an echoing click. She coughed.

"Well, Vinyl, these are certainly-"

"Sit funny, do I?"

Bon-Bon flinched and inwardly cursed her loose tongue. She hadn't meant it maliciously, she had just been impressing on Vinyl her worry for her friend's health! "I was just saying that-"

"Oh, yeah, sure you were. Well, I've just said some stuff too! I wonder what gems Little Lyra has in store?!" Lyra jabbed at the button her figure's back, and the tinny electronic voice chattered away.

"BB sure can talk sometimes, you know?"

Bon-Bon gasped indignantly, bringing a hoof to her chest in righteous surprise. "How could you? Okay, so I go on a bit sometimes, but that's only because I happen to find it quite difficult sometimes to…Are you flapping your mouth? You're flapping your mouth! Stop flapping your mouth!"

Lyra nonchalantly glanced about the room even as she continued noiselessly mouthing gibberish in time with Bon-Bon's words. Bon-Bon's hackles rose.

"Oh, so now it's time for the childish games like always! Well, it's not going to work with me this time, Lyra! If you have something to say, you're going to say it, not hide behind your joking and your moaning and your running awa-"

"My what?"

There was a dreadful, painful, awful silence. Lyra's voice had been calm, cold, but her quivering fur spoke otherwise. Vinyl bit her lip as she looked from Bon-Bon's horrified shock at herself to Lyra's barely-contained rage. Quite apart from two of her best friends seemingly about to tear each other apart emotionally was the fact that should they choose to do so physically, she really wasn't sure ExTech could take it. She saw Bon-Bon's expression harden and moved to intercept.

"Hey, guys, let's… let's just take it down a notch, and-"

"Your running away. You know, the way you never stand up to your problems, or talk them through with me. The way you just retreat into your little artist ball, hiding behind your music and your tantrums until someone comes along and solves everything for you. You know, that running away."

Lyra opened her mouth to speak, then stopped, visibly restraining herself. Every pony in the lab was holding their breath, ready for the explosion. But it never came. She just closed her mouth, turned, and walked out.

The lab remained silent. Somepony coughed. Vinyl opened her mouth to speak, but Bon-Bon just met her gaze, shook her head, and walked out herself. As her staff released their collective breath, Vinyl fell to her haunches and sighed, wiping her brow. After a few moments, she called across the lab to the main office.

"Tavi? Can... can I have a hug?"

Scene 2

"Then why didn't you tell us?!"

"I didn't know! I'm sorry!"

Bon-Bon stopped outside the Commander's Office as the voices filtered quietly through the thick metal door. Derpy's voice was raised, her target's response full of shame and apology. Bon-Bon shook her head. What was wrong with everypony today? She stepped forward, letting the door slide aside.

Commander Derpy was hovering over her desk, hooves on her hips. Below her cowered Fluttershy, who turned to Bon-Bon with pleading eyes as she entered them the office. Bon-Bon saluted.

"Uh, Commander. Fluttershy. Am I interrupting something?"

Derpy opened her mouth to speak, then rubbed her temple and floated back down to her chair, motioning for Bon-Bon and Fluttershy to sit.

"No, I just… It's nothing. There are more important things to deal with now." She leaned forward, slipping into her official tone without skipping a beat. "We've found an Element."

Bon-Bon's eyebrow raised in surprise. "An Element? We've actually found one ahead of time?"

Derpy nodded and glanced at Fluttershy, who winced. "Yup. Turns out Fluttershy has been keeping secrets."

Fluttershy snapped back with as much indignation as her demure nature could summon. "I haven't been keeping secrets! I… I haven't seen her since I joined M.A.R.E. and, um..." She shrunk back into her chair. "I forgot. Please don't be mad!"

Derpy sighed. "It's alright, Fluttershy. This whole thing gets stranger with every new development and, well… Vinyl has a couple of theories. But what's important is that, for the first time, we have the chance to approach an Element on our own terms."

Bon-Bon nodded thoughtfully, thinking back to Twilight's eventful recruitment in Canterlot and the debacle at the Hedge Maze that had led them to Fluttershy. "So, who are we looking at?"

"I'll let Fluttershy handle that part of the briefing."

Fluttershy swallowed as Bon-Bon swivelled to face her, blushing at the sudden attention. "Um, well, it's my friend, Rainbow Dash. She's a Wonderbolt. Or, um, she will be."

"Wait, you know her?"

Fluttershy flinched again. This, obviously, had been the sore point for the Commander. "Y-Yes. She's my best friend; we were at flight camp together. It was her who said I should go to, um, Iron Will's seminar where I met you. But after I joined M.A.R.E. I just… forgot."

Bon-Bon narrowed her eyes. "That seems a little… strange, for you to forget your best friend. Redheart hasn't been keeping you that busy, has she?"

Derpy cut in, pressing a button on her terminal as she did so. "As I said, Vinyl has a few theories on that front." The viewscreen on the back wall flickered into life and Vinyl appeared onscreen, shouting something to someone out of sight.

"I said the green button! The green! The red button just-"

There was a colossal explosion offscreen and Vinyl's mane streamed behind her as she gritted her teeth against the wave of dust and bits of lab. The smoke died down and she coughed, turning back to the screen and grinning.

"Uh, hey, Derpy. Just clearing something up with a newbie, you know how it is." As Derpy slapped a hoof to her face in a time-honoured gesture of abject exasperation and Fluttershy giggled at her carefree attitude, Vinyl noticed Bon-Bon. "Oh, BB… Did you, uh..."

Bon-Bon shook her head. "No, Vinyl. I haven't seen her all day."

Vinyl sighed. "Ouch."

Derpy eyes flitted suspiciously between her subordinates. "Is there something I should know?"

Before Bon-Bon could reply, Vinyl waved her hoof dismissively and laughed brightly. "Nah, nothing to worry about, Commander. Lyra's just, uh, doing her thing. What did you need me for?"

Derpy glared for a moment before a letting the matter drop. "You said earlier you had some thoughts on the Elements, and why we've had so much trouble finding them."

Vinyl's ears pricked eagerly, and Bon-Bon could almost see the explanation lining itself up in her mind. "I do! I've been asking around about Twilight and Fluttershy and, well, the results were pretty surprising. It turns out that a few of our Canterlot transfers, get this, had known Twilight for years!"

Derpy cocked her head in confusion. "So?"

"So, we briefed everypony in M.A.R.E. about the Elements! Gave them descriptions, names, everything. And not one of them said anything about Twilight. Same with you, Flutters. You've got a couple acquaintances on-base that you knew before you joined, right?"

Fluttershy nodded slowly.

"Now, I know some of these ponies pretty well, and they never said a single word about you. But here's where it gets really weird. I don't exactly follow racing, but it turns out Rainbow Dash has been making a splash for months. She's got a near-perfect winning streak, she's one of a fraction of pegasi who can pull off a sonic rainboom, and she's being inaugurated into the Wonderbolts in a few days." Vinyl scratched behind her ears in embarrassment. "And, uh… we didn't notice. At all. We're talking a kingdom-class celebrity, and not a single pony in M.A.R.E, including her childhood friend, had the faintest idea she existed. Which is where my theory comes in."

The ponies in Derpy's office imperceptibly leaned forward in anticipation, even Derpy hanging on Vinyl's every word. She took a deep breath, as if afraid of even postulating what she was about to say.

"I think something's messing with our heads."

Fluttershy brought a hoof to heart in shock as Bon-Bon's eyes widened. "Messing with our heads?"

Vinyl nodded glumly. "The more I investigate, the more it worries me. There's no evidence to support it, no changes in anypony's brainwaves or anything, but… it's the only explanation. For some reason, we're not seeing things that are directly in front of our face. I think Discord may not have been bluffing when he told you guys how powerful he was, BB."

There was a moment's solemn silence before Derpy cut in thoughtfully.

"But if that's the case, why are we finding them now?"

Vinyl grinned. "That's the good news. I reckon that as we gather more Harmonic energy in the form of Element Bearers, the resonance between the magical waveforms of each Element is breaking down the Chaotic magic that Discord is theoretically using to alter our perceptions, which is inherently entropic anyway, making finding the rest of the Elements just a matter of letting time pass and letting the ones we already have interact!"

Derpy moved her lips silently for a few seconds. "I'm… sorry, could you say that again?"

"As we gather mo-"

"No, no, I meant with words."

"… Okay, Discord is apparently the spirit of Chaos, right? And we've already proved that the power of the Elements, which I'm calling Harmonic energy in the paper that I'm totally going to get round to writing soon, is directly harmful to his 'Chaotic' energy. So what if us awakening as Bearers... I don't know… broke some kind of seal? It led us to Twilight, who gave us a little more Harmony acting against whatever Discord is doing, which let Lyra recognise Fluttershy when she met her at the Hedge Maze. What I'm saying is, the more Elements we find, the easier it should be to find more."

Derpy nodded and reached for her terminal. "Good work, Vinyl. I want this to be your main priority from now on. Keep me posted."

Vinyl waved. "Roger, Derpy."

The screen cut out and Derpy turned to face Bon-Bon and Fluttershy again. "There it is. We need to find the rest of the Six more than ever. Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy, blushing slightly at Derpy's reverential use of 'the Six', sat up straighter, doing her best to appear professional. "Um, yes?"

"You're on this one. I know you're not one for field work, but you know Rainbow Dash personally and… well, you know what's at stake."

"Y-Yes, ma'am. I'll do my best!" Despite her fervent reply, Fluttershy's eyes betrayed her terror.

"Take care of her, Bon-Bon. I'm counting on you and- Where is Lyra?"

Bon-Bon cursed inwardly. Derpy had a way of making you let your guard down, of forgetting the razor-sharp intuition hidden beneath the layers of motherly amicability.

"Lyra's… indisposed. Emotional issues. Permission to run this one alone? As just Sweets, I mean. I'll keep an eye on Fluttershy, don't you worry, Commander."

Derpy narrowed her eyes, then her expression. "This is important but... Lyra's Lyra. Permission granted. The mission's simple. Head to the Rainbow Raceway, make contact, and bring her into the fold. I can't imagine it'll be too hard."

Fluttershy smiled nervously. "Um, you don't know Rainbow Dash."

Scene 3

"Wow."

Bon-Bon's awed whisper was effortlessly drowned by the roar of the crowd. By the sound of it the vast cloud-stadium was full to capacity, and the races were in full swing. Beside her, Fluttershy stepped back as the noise, almost a physical presence, washed over them.

"Oh my."

"No kidding." Magic tingled in the whiteness beneath Bon-Bon's hooves as she stepped forward. Looming on the outskirts of Metropony's Cloud District, Rainbow Raceway was the city's - and, by extension, Equestria's - premier pegasus racetrack, floating high above the city as a fluffy testament to pony ingenuity. The entire structure was constructed of revolutionary 'cloudcrete,' magically condensed clouds that could be herded and shaped with all the ease of a normal cloud, while lacking the nebulous nature. The practical upshot was that ponies of any species could treat it as pegasi would any other cloud.

And so it was that Bon-Bon had tentatively stepped from the balloon that had carried her into the sky, gulping as she tried not to glance down at the dwindling sight of the skyscrapers below. It wasn't as if she was just scared of any old heights, she told herself. Being scared of heights that could kill her was perfectly legitimate.

The entranceway, a great arch decked with rainbow fountains, beckoned. Bon-Bon nodded to Fluttershy and the two stepped into the shadows beneath it, bypassing the ticket booth with a wave of a badge and a stammered apology from the guard. There had been some advantages to M.A.R.E's reveal, at least.

As they strolled through the covered passage to the stands, Bon-Bon glanced at her temporary partner, who was looking anxiously about the tunnel as if the shadows themselves were ready to leap at her. Bon-Bon had never understood Fluttershy, even in the months she'd spent at M.A.R.E. The Element of Kindness had kept very much to herself so far as Bon-Bon was concerned, and Bon-Bon hadn't pressed the issue. It was as if there was a wall around the reclusive pegasus, a wall that only a few ponies could find their way through.

Lyra had. A guilty stab of envy and pain hit Bon-Bon as the image of her friend rose unbidden from her mind. The unicorn and the pegasus had become fast friends after the Hedge Maze incident, with Lyra's effusive personality filling the silences left by Fluttershy's self-effacing quiet. Lyra seemed to have an innate understanding of how far to go when around the delicate Fluttershy, never pushing too hard or protesting too loudly. And when a couple of less-than-savoury recruits, somehow slipped through the M.A.R.E. approval process, had accosted Fluttershy in the Infirmary one late-night shift, Lyra had been bouncing them off the walls before Redheart could even raise a hoof.

Bon-Bon shook her head furiously. Lyra was an issue for later. She was on a mission, and that was all that mattered. She realised Fluttershy was smiling at her. She cocked her head.

"Um, don't worry, Bon-Bon. Rainbow Dash is a wonderful friend. I don't think we'll have any trouble."

Bon-Bon smiled back weakly. The guilt of her momentary resentment burned brighter as they left the tunnel and stepped into the stands proper.

The stadium’s atmosphere was intense. All thought was eradicated by the sun, the sound, the sensation that filled the air, sending shivers through Bon-Bon's spine and stopping her in her tracks. Beside, Fluttershy stared.

The stadium stretched away from them, almost half a mile across, a triumph of cloud architecture. Ponies filled the stands, screaming and whooping as what Bon-Bon assumed was the Wonderbolts rocketed around the track. The crowd's energy was almost palpable, and Bon-Bon found herself wiping sweat from her brow. No matter how long she lived in this city, it found new ways to surprise her.

"This… how have I not been here before? It's amazing."

Fluttershy was, surprisingly, dealing with the atmosphere far better than Bon-Bon. Bon-Bon could only assume she had visited the stadium with Rainbow Dash in the past.

"Y-Yes, it's pretty spectacular. It's the largest, um, pegasus-made structure in Equestria. Rainbow Dash always said she'd race here one day."

The mention of Rainbow Dash brought Bon-Bon back to her senses. No time to be gawping. She trotted forward, squeezing through the standing-room-only crowd clamouring at the fence in an attempt to get a closer look at the racers. The race was coming to a close and the assorted pegasi were nothing more than a blur that even Bon-Bon's enhanced vision could barely follow. The oddly-familiar announcer, however, appeared to have no such issues.

"For those tuning in at home, the racers are coming up to the final straight in this year's Wondermeet, and Spitfire is still in the lead as expected! She's well ahead of the pack but, of course, so is crowd favourite and newest Wonderbolt member Rainbow Dash! Spitfire has the edge in technique, but Rainbow Dash's record beats-per-minute gives her one hay of a sprint advantage! Looks like we may have a Wondermeet where the racer of honour flies home with the trophy!"

Bon-Bon concentrated harder, focusing on the rapidly approaching blue streaks. Fluttershy appeared beside her, panting heavily after having forced her way through the seething crowd around them. Bon-Bon patted her shoulder absentmindedly as she followed the racers' final sprint. The two pegasi flew past at blistering speed, the force of their passing throwing the crowd's manes into disarray. Shielding her eyes from the cloud of dust roiling in their wake, Bon-Bon's eyes narrowed as the announced cried out triumphantly.

"Rainbow Dash wins by a nose! The newcomer opens her career with a stunning last-minute victory, and I'm sure you're all as eager as I am to see where she goes from here! Give it up for Rainbow Dash!"

The crowd exploded with cheers and whoops. Rainbow Dash herself, her multi-coloured mane clearly visible against the white cloud she hovered above, punched the air and zoomed centre-stage, grabbing a mic from a nearby news crew as she went. Her voice boomed over the noise of the crowd and she theatrically threw up a hoof in frustration.

"Ugh, you're going to cheer for me like that? Louder!"

The crowd became, if possible, even louder. Fluttershy shrank into herself as the noise buffeted them.

"Louder!"

The sound of the crowd sent ripples through even the reinforced cloudcrete of the stadium.

"Louder!"

The hovering pegasus was actually buffeted by the force of the crowd's response, and she flapped her wings hurriedly to regain her balance before grinning, her gleaming teeth beaming down at them from the giant screens above them.

"Eh, maybe too loud."

Bon-Bon let out a low whistle as the crowd laughed in unison. She glanced at Fluttershy, who was staring up at Rainbow Dash with an indecipherable expression.

"Your friend really knows how to work a crowd."

Fluttershy nodded absentmindedly as she watched Rainbow Dash bowing theatrically to the crowd's delight.

"Um, yes. She's something, alright."

"I'm thinking we meet her in her dressing room and make our offer in clear and certain terms. Once she hears about what she is and what she can do for the city, I'm sure she'll be happy to join."

Fluttershy turned to face her and Bon-Bon was surprised to see a wry smile cross her face, an expression far more cynical than she had considered Fluttershy capable of.

"I... wouldn't be so sure."

Scene 4

Bon-Bon pushed open the changing room door briskly and summoned her most welcoming smile. Something about Rainbow Dash's demeanour on the track gave her the distinct impression that the racer was not one to look kindly on smooth-talking, and she had decided to go for the direct approach. Introduction, invitation, mission accomplished. She could foresee no real difficul-

"Sorry, not interested."

Bon-Bon blinked. Rainbow Dash was looking up at her from the floor, effortlessly performing push-ups with her wings at a speed that made Bon-Bon's inner trainer wince. She floundered in the wake of Rainbow's pre-emptive refusal.

"B-But, I haven't asked you anything yet."

"No, but you're going to, right?"

Before Bon-Bon could gather her thoughts, the door behind her opened slowly and a pink mane poked into view. Bon-Bon rallied, her trump card having arrived, as Rainbow Dash flipped herself upright and hovered irritably, hooves on hips.

"What now?"

Fluttershy entered, smiling as she caught sight of Rainbow Dash. "Um, hey, Rainbow Dash. How are you doing? It's been a whi-"

Her greeting was cut short by Rainbow Dash rocketing across the room and clasping her in a tight hug with sufficient force to send them rolling back into the door, slamming it shut. Fluttershy squeaked in a combination of surprise and oxygen deprivation before Rainbow Dash let go, holding her at foreleg's length and beaming with joy.

"Fluttershy! Oh man, how've you been?! Where've you been?! I haven't seen you in forever!"

"Uh, you know, around..."

"Were you watching the race? Did you see me totally kick the Wonderbolt's butts? Oh, I probably shouldn't say that if I'm gonna be one. Oh! Fluttershy! I'm gonna be a Wonderbolt! Aaah, there's so much we've got to catch up on! Just let me get rid of this lady over here." Rainbow Dash waved a dismissive hoof in Bon-Bon's direction, and Fluttershy's expression turned sheepish.

"Um…Actually..."

There was a pause. Slowly, Rainbow let go of her friend's shoulders.

"What's…what's going on, Fluttershy?"

Bon-Bon stepped forward. "Rainbow Dash, my name is Bon-Bon, though you may already know me by my, ah, professional moniker of Sweets." Rainbow Dash's eyes widened as she realised she was talking to one half of the city's mightiest heroes. "Fluttershy is here with me as a member of M.A.R.E. We're here to extend an offer. We want you to join us in protecting the city as the Element of Loyalty."

Rainbow ran a hoof through her mane and let out a low whistle. "Whoa. Uh, okay. That is…not what I was expecting." She glanced at Fluttershy, as though seeking some kind of confirmation. Her friend nodded.

"I don't really understand it yet, but M.A.R.E. really needs our help. And they do good work! Um, they're sort of mis-represented."

Rainbow Dash looked uncertain, her eyes flicking from Fluttershy to the row of uniforms hanging on the wall and back. "I... I don't... I'm gonna be a Wonderbolt, Fluttershy! You know what that means, right? Like, all my life, all I've ever wanted is this."

Bon-Bon's gut squirmed as she remembered the look on Twilight Sparkle's face when they had told her she couldn't work in the library anymore. She silently cursed Discord. Why couldn't there be a choice for these ponies? "Look, Rainbow Dash. I know this is a hard decision to make, and I'll be happy to give you any details you need to decide, but you should know…we need you, Rainbow Dash. There are things threatening us that you can't even imagine, and you're one of the few ponies that can help."

"Please, Rainbow. We need you."

Her face a mask of agonised decision, Rainbow Dash stared into space, mind visibly racing. Bon-Bon thanked the earth she'd brought Fluttershy along. Her friend's presence seemed to be the only thing keeping Rainbow Dash even contemplating the idea. But as Rainbow opened her mouth to speak, the door opened and a pony that Bon-Bon had seen a thousand times onscreen and in magazines, but never in person, stepped into the room.

"Hey, Rainbow! Great work on the track out there today. Putting on a show and putting us in our place, huh? Not a bad way to start your…career..."

The newcomer trailed off as she took in the scene. Rainbow Dash's head had snapped up at her voice.

"Spitfire! What are you doing here? I thought you guys were doing team stuff?"

Spitfire nodded slowly, still eyeing Bon-Bon and Fluttershy cautiously, and Bon-Bon was struck by the grace of even that simple motion. The Wonderbolts' leader exuded speed. Even standing almost completely still as she did now, there was a tremendous sensation of power, of untapped energy seething just below the surface. Bon-Bon found herself wondering if she could beat her in a race.

"What's going on, Rainbow?"

Bon-Bon stepped forward. "My name is Bon-Bon, this is Fluttershy, and we're here on behalf of M.A.R.E. We want Rainbow with us."

Spitfire's eyebrow raised and her expression hardened. "M.A.R.E, huh? Not everyday you see ponies like you just waltzing around."

"This is important."

Silence reigned. Rainbow still seemed stunned by Bon-Bon's offer, and Fluttershy's gaze bounced worriedly from Bon-Bon to Spitfire as they locked eyes. What Spitfire's problem with M.A.R.E. was, Bon-Bon couldn't guess, but it was going to cause trouble. She just knew it.

Spitfire stepped down. "It's Rainbow's decision. But I'd like to talk to her first, if you don't mind." She turned toward the door, looking back over her shoulder. "Coming, Rainbow?"

Rainbow Dash nodded, looking more than a little lost. She trotted to her teammate's side, smiling at Fluttershy as she passed. "It's awesome to see you, Fluttershy. We'll catch up after all this whatever is over, yeah?"

Fluttershy smiled warmly in return. "Sure."

The two racers left the room, and Fluttershy let out a deep breath as soon as they were gone. Bon-Bon, however, was not so relieved. As she had turned to leave, Spitfire's expression had changed for an instant, almost too fleeting to notice. But Bon-Bon was certain she had seen the hint of triumph in Spitfire's eyes, and her own eyes narrowed as the door swung closed.

Scene 5

"Um, why are we doing this again?"

Fluttershy's nervous question echoed in the confinement of the ventilation shaft, and Bon-Bon's mind boggled at the physics of it. Why did a building made of clouds even have ventilation shafts?

As for Fluttershy's question, she found herself struggling for an answer. Why were they doing this? What had possessed her to follow Spitfire and Rainbow Dash through the stadium's winding innards surreptitiously, dragging Fluttershy behind her? And why was she crawling through a tunnel to make absolutely sure she wasn't seen by a racing pegasus?

"I…Just a hunch. There's something…off about Spitfire."

"Off? She seemed okay..."

Bon-Bon didn't reply, and the two crawled on in silence, the only sounds the echo of their hooves, the muffled voices of Rainbow Dash and Spitfire, and the occasional squeak from Fluttershy as her wings struggled in the confined space. They were heading deeper into the cloud structure's interior, and the sounds of the sky and the city were non-existent. A pulsing hum had replaced them, less a sound and more a feeling the walls. The air itself seemed to vibrate, and her fur began to stand on end.

"Hold up."

Bon-Bon stopped, barely staggering as Fluttershy collided with her rear.

"Why are we stopping?" said Fluttershy, her voice muffled by the hoof rubbing her snout in pain. They had reached the end of the shaft, and the hum was almost a physical presence. Bon-Bon shook her head as she stared, eyes wide, through the thin cloud that formed the vent's 'grating.'

"I'm going to need some pegasus know-how here."

Fluttershy crawled forward, poked her head through the layer of clouds, and gasped in surprise. "Wow..."

The vent opened into a cavernous room, a sphere almost half the stadium's length hidden within the great structure. A single stretch of fluffy white bridge led from the only entrance to the centre of the cloud cave, where a disc of floating floor held a vast apparatus, the source of the ever-present noise that even now set Bon-Bon's teeth on edge.

"What is that?"

Fluttershy's eyes darted across the machine. Constructed from roiling stormclouds rather than the lighter, whiter cloudcrete that formed the rest of the building, the machine was amorphous and dangerous-looking, a deep blue light throbbing from the centre of the swirling mass. "I think... it's what's keeping the building up."

"I, uh... I wasn't aware clouds needed help floating."

A smile flicked across crept onto Flutterhy's face before she turned thoughtful again. "Um, cloudcrete is denser than regular clouds, so if you get a lot of it in one place, you need, um, magic to help. I think the stadium just needs a lot of magic."

Bon-Bon brought a hoof to her chin thoughtfully. "And this is providing that magic. How come we don't know the city is doing this sort of thing? This seems like the kind of architectural innovation we should know about."

"Um, I think it's because M.A.R.E. blows up more than it builds..."

There was a moment's silence.

"The important question is, why was Spitfire bringing Rainbow Dash- Head down!"

The two ponies ducked back into the shaft, leaving as little of themselves exposed as possible as the two racers entered the core room, stepping through the wall as if it were nothing. As Bon-Bon wished she understood even the beginnings of how pegasi interacted with clouds, Spitfire led Rainbow Dash purposefully to the machine dominating the room. Bon-Bon strained to hear over the ever-present sound of the core.

"Rainbow, how long have you been with us now?"

Rainbow's response was immediate and eager. "Three months and two days, boss."

"Right, right. You know, it feels like longer? You may not be an official member yet, but you might as well be." She smiled as Rainbow Dash almost visibly radiated pride. "You're a great racer, Rainbow, and I fear the day you get started on the aerobatics routines."

Spitfire paused, mouth half-open as a number of emotions flickered across her face. Pride, anxiety, determination… Bon-Bon leant even further out of the tunnel , her desire to vindicate her decision to tail them outweighing her fear of getting caught.

"But I think you can be something more. I think you can be one of us."

"One of…But I'm already on the team, aren't I?"

Spitfire laughed. "You're on a team, Rainbow. We wanted to ease you in slowly, but now that M.A.R.E's snooping around..."

"I knew it!" Bon-Bon's triumphant hiss brought Fluttershy into the open, her nervous expression peeking through the cloud beside her.

Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, was frowning. "Boss, you're acting pretty weird. What are you talking about, 'easing me in?'"

Spitfire simply sighed and made a strange gesture with her hoof. Without warning, three ponies stepped out of the core, emerging from the crackling ball of storms as if the room didn't thrum with enough magical power to give a Princess a headache. Rainbow's eyes flicked from pony to pony worriedly, taking in their tinted goggles and dark, unfamiliar uniforms. Fluttershy whispered in Bon-Bon's ear pointing to each figure as she named them.

"That's Soarin', Fleetfoot, and Rapidfire! They're the Wonderbolts', um, top ponies."

Rainbow, meanwhile, was stepping back in surprise. "What are you guys doing here? What's going on?!"

Spitfire's raised a placating hoof. "Rainbow, please. We just want to tell you the truth. To show you the real us. And for you to join us."

Rainbow shook her head. "I don't get it, Spitfire. This is looking crazy fishy to me. How did you guys go inside the core?"

Spitfire's shrug was noncommittal. "In the end, it's just a cloud. And we're…special. A fact that the city will understand all too well soon enough. But we want you with us when it does, because you're better than us. And you're better than them."

"What do you mean, 'better?!' Seriously, Spitfire, I'm outta here if you don't start making some sense!"

Spitfire glanced at her teammates, who nodded almost imperceptibly. She let out a deep breath before turning back to Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow, this city is... corrupt. Wrong. Don't you feel it?"

"I…what?"

Spitfire grew more animated as she spoke, her teammates forming a rough, not-quite-threatening semi-circle before Rainbow Dash. "Look at the crowds, Rainbow. They don't care. Not really."

"What are you talking about? They love us!"

"They love you And before you, they loved me. They don't care about us, about what we do. It's all just noise to them, something to keep them occupied before they go back to wasting their lives on their jobs and their TV and their petty dramas." She paused as if unsure whether to say more, as if Rainbow's desperate confusion was compelling her to stop. But she recovered, and said, "So we're going to make some real noise."

Above them, Bon-Bon swallowed. Her hunch, it seemed, had been spot on the money.

Rainbow Dash stepped back unconsciously, Spitfire's hungry gaze feeding her unease. "Listen, guys, this is getting a little weird, okay? I don't know if this is-"

Spitfire spread her wings in frustration, baring her teeth as she pleaded with Rainbow Dash. "Don't you see, Rainbow?! We have to do something to wake these ponies up! This, this... everything, it isn't right! Skyscrapers and guns and robot invasions…that's not for ponies. It's not for anyone. We have to make things right, and to do that we have to show everypony that they're wrong." She nodded to Soarin', who turned to the core and waved a hoof across the crackling surface. A control panel coalesced and he began to work, tapping at buttons with mysterious purpose.

Bon-Bon tensed, and Fluttershy whispered in her ear, "What do we do?"

"…We move."

Before Fluttershy could protest, Bon-Bon leaped through the faint wall of cloud, the Wonderbolts' heads snapping around to face her. She sailed through the air gracefully, halfway to the floor before she realised that she had no idea whether it was cloudcrete or not. Her hooves touched down lightly between Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts, and she breathed a sigh of relief inwardly even as she turned to face the racers. Their surprised expressions hardened as she swept her gaze across them warily. Fluttershy fluttered down behind her, and Rainbow Dash exclaimed in further surprise.

"Fluttershy?! Just what the hay is going on?!"

Fluttershy's winced apologetically. "It's, um, our job."

Spitfire, meanwhile, was looking down her nose at Bon-Bon. "Oh look, it's the mares from M.A.R.E. Come to protect the status quo, have we?"

"Whatever it is your doing, I'm putting a stop to it. Step away from the console."

Spitfire scoffed, and shook her head. Soarin' continued tapping away, faster now. The core thrummed louder than ever before. Bon-Bon stepped forward, and the Wonderbolts tensed even further than they already had. "I'm warning you, Spitfire. All of you."

"All done, boss." Soarin' called over his shoulder as he tapped one final key, and a piercing klaxon wail started pulsing through the core room. Bon-Bon took a step forward, drawing herself up to her full height, though she doubted it would do achieve anything. The Wonderbolts were practically sneering, their confidence absolute. For an instant, her confidence wavered.

"What have you done, Wonderbolts?"

Spitfire looked past her, meeting Rainbow Dash's eyes almost impassively. Her voice was flat and cold. "We've sent the message. Now we wait for the city to receive it."

And then everything happened at once. Rainbow Dash's eyes widened in realisation. She cried out in surprise and, gritting her teeth, leaped at Spitfire, wings beating furiously. Bon-Bon started in shock even as Spitfire flapped her own wings once, lifting off, pulling something small and black from her uniform as she did so. Fleetfoot and Rapidfire darted around her, moving to block Rainbow's charge. Bon-Bon blinked as the two ponies caught Rainbow between them and used her momentum to hurl her across the room, where she slammed into the wall and slid to the floor in a groaning heap.

Spitfire lifted the object she held between her hooves to her mouth and pulled the pin. Bon-Bon stared for an instant before turning and throwing herself at Fluttershy. Pegasus and earth pony hit the floor just as the bomb went off, and as the deep rumble died away, Bon-Bon pulled herself quickly to her feet, a quick glance confirming Fluttershy's safety, and spun to face the Wonderbolts.

A large hole, two ponies across, now graced the floor. The entire room must be cloudcrete, she thought quickly, or they'd have just flown out. Spitfire gave an ironic salute, then looped-the-loop and dove out of sight, her fellow Wonderbolts following her at speed. Bon-Bon raced to the edge and peered out, but they were already almost out of sight. Biting back a curse, she turned back to find Rainbow Dash standing right in her face.

"Where did they go?!"

Bon-Bon shook her head. "They headed west, but there's no way you'll-" She was cut off by a boom of splitting air as Rainbow Dash disappeared, the rainbow blur left by her exit catapulting Bon-Bon so high she almost touched the roof of the chamber. She span through the air in a most ungainly fashion, and she marvelled at Rainbow's speed. She would be a great addition to the team, if they could just sort out her…attitude…problem...

Her mind finally finished plotting her trajectory. She was heading straight. Toward. The hole.

"AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaFluttershyhelpmepleaseohnoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Oh my!" Fluttershy galloped toward her, wings flapping wildly to push her forward, faster than Bon-Bon had ever seen her move. But she was still too slow. Bon-Bon had already reached the lip of the hole; she reached out a hoof, every hoof, but she was just an inch too far, and she fell, fell, fell, into infinite vista of the sky, with nothing between her and the city below but thousands of feet of empty air. She screamed. A skyscraper was one thing, she could survive a fall from a few hundred feet with no problem. Space meant nothing, the distances were so huge as to be meaningless. But to be so impossibly high above the ground, higher than any earth pony was ever born to be, with nothing to stop her and no way to stop herself…She screamed again, shutting her eyes and curling into a ball of terror, when suddenly...

Whoomp. A dull roar edged with a mechanical whine reached her ears over the rush of falling. She hit something, hard, and the roar sputtered slightly before returning in full force. Gasping for breath, Bon-Bon realised she wasn't falling any more. Something was cradling her like a baby, two strong limbs under her back. Slowly, ever so slowly, she pushed her eyes open, almost afraid to see the vast expanse of blue again. What she saw made her eyes snap open in surprise, and she only narrowly avoided dropping her jaw.

Lyra grinned at her through the jetpack's control bit.

"Hey."

Scene 6

The wind tore at Rainbow Dash as she rocketed through the sky after the Wonderbolts. Her ears were ringing and specks of colour flashed across her vision, but still she pushed herself harder, faster. What had been faint specks had already resolved themselves into her former teammates, and with a final burst of speed that send lances of pain through her wings, she closed the distance.

"Spitfire!"

Her voice was hoarse with effort, but she saw Spitefire gesture and the Wonderbolts come to a dead halt, snapping to attention behind their leader. They hovered warily as Rainbow caught up, and Spitfire's greeting was curt.

"What do you want, Rainbow? To attack your teammates again? I thought you'd thrown your lot in with M.A.R.E?"

Rainbow Dash bit her lip, trying to find the words. "I just... I don't get it! I grew up thinking hte Wonderbolts were the most awesome thing, and when I got in..." The Wonderbolts' eyes were impassive, and Rainbow threw her hooves up in frustration. "So what the hay are you doing?! Ponies are fickle, so you run off? Where's your guts? You're the Wonderbolts!"

Spitfire shook her head, a frown creasing her brow. "It's not that, Rainbow. It's something deeper. You could never understand." Her face hardened. "And we're not running off. We're waking Metropony up."

Something in her expression, a flick of the eyes, sent chills down Rainbow's spine, and she found herself turning to face the stadium, so far behind her now. She gasped in horror. "You gotta be kidding me."

The stadium was falling.

Scene 7

"Lyra?!"

The control bit retracted, leaving Lyra free to talk. "Oh yeah. Sweet save, right?"

"What are you doing here?! I thought-" Bon-Bon caught herself, but Lyra's grin only widened.

"You thought that just 'cause we had a fight we weren't friends anymore? Come on, BB." Her face lost some of its humour, but none of its warmth. "We were both right. I just needed a little time to think some things through. Sorry for making you go at this alone."

Bon-Bon's eyes narrowed. "You're being reasonable. It frightens and confuses me."

"I could always just drop you." Bon-Bon's answering glare set Lyra laughing as she fired the jetpack, rocketing the two of them back to the hole from which Bon-Bon had so unceremoniously exited. Fluttershy leaped back in surprise as they shot in the core room. Bon-Bon brushed herself down off self-consciously as Lyra deposited her by core control panel, waving Fluttershy over.

"Oh! Lyra! Um, hello."

"Hey, Fluttershy. Quick, help us out with this console!"

Fluttershy hurried over and began tapping at the wispy screen seemingly at random. "Um, I'm not sure I really..."

"Just try to find out what the Wonderbolts did, and how to stop it." The room lurched and, to Bon-Bon's horror, tilted, until the three were struggling to keep their balance. "Fluttershy, have you found anything?!"

Fluttershy, wings beating heard to stay upright, scanned the screen desperately, a streak of fear crossing her face. "Um, I think we're…maybe…falling!"

"Falling?!" Bon-Bon shrieked. "Can you stop it?!"

"I don't know how! I just look after animals!"

"Don't they teach you anything at, at, at Pegasus school?!"

"Whoa, everypony calm down!" Bon-Bon took several deep, soothing breaths as Lyra stepped in. "Listen, I have an idea. But you're not going to like it." She nodded to Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, go find Rainbow Dash, and then evacuate the stadium. We haven't got time to wait for backup, and there shouldn't be that many-"

"Um, there's nopony around."

"-around and you should be…wait, what?"

Fluttershy looked away as if in shame, mumbling through her mane. "I asked Commander Hooves to send an evacuation order when we started following the Wonderbolts."

Bon-Bon blinked. "I...why?"

Fluttershy looked up, looking pointedly at Lyra and Bon-Bon, and hey winced as one. Lyra recovered first. "Okay, point taken. Anyway, go find Rainbow Dash and take her back to M.A.R.E. Me and BB, we got stuff to do." Fluttershy nodded nervously and disappeared through the hole at a speed Bon-Bon was surprised she could achieve.

"Okay, Lyra, what's the plan?"

"I-" They were interrupted by the stadium lurching again, throwing them to the floor and sending them sliding toward the wall. Bon-Bon screamed and grasped for Lyra's hoof, hooking her partner's leg desperately as they skittered down the floor that was suddenly a wall.

"BB, calm down! I have a plan!"

"Well I hope it involves actually doing something!"

"No need to get snippy!"

"This is exactly the time to get snippy!" They hit what had been a wall and passed straight through, falling through some kind of storage room with crates of equipment tumbling all about them..

"Listen, I've got it under control!" Lyra pulled, hoisting Bon-Bon closer to her. The core groaned , a deep rumble straining with the crackle of harnessed magic going out of control. Bon-Bon saw Lyra stick her tongue out in disgust, a sure sign of wild magic in the air.

"This is exactly what I was talking about! You just come up with this stuff in your head and nopony knows what you're going to do until you-" A tennis racket hit her in the face, and she shook her head furiously. "-until you do it!"

Lyea pulled her closer and grabbed Bon-Bon's head in both hooves, locking her gaze to hers as they poofed through another wall into a cavernous swimming pool, the water pooled at the 'bottom' of the room. The collapse magical field holding the cloudcrete together hadn't reached this far yet.

"You gotta trust me, BB. This is totally going to work."

"What is going to work?!"

They hit the water, pain shooting through Bon-Bon's body as they slammed into the depths. She felt Lyra's hooves leave her face, and she looked desperately around for her partner. Within moments she spotted her, and kicked through the water. The impact had only separated them by meters but Lyra was facing away from her, head snapping from side to side in a panicked search for Bon-Bon. Bon-Bon tapped her on the shoulder, and Lyra whirled in a flurry of bubbles, visibly relieved. Bon-Bon motioned upwards, but Lyra shook her head and grabbed Bon-Bon's face again. Waving her hooves furiously, Bon-Bon communicated precisely the measure of her confusion at Lyra's behaviour. Lyra winced, before mouthing for Bon-Bon to trust her. Bon-Bon threw her hooves up in disgust and-

Lyra grinned and pulled Bon-Bon's lips to hers.

With gusto.

Scene 8

"You're doing what?!" The wind and her own anguish left Rainbow's voice little more than a croak.

"We're sending a message. We're letting ponies of this city know that their carefree days can never last. We-"

"I don't care!"

Spitfire started, blinking uncertainly. "I... what?"

"I don't care about your stupid plan or the city or, or, corruption, or whatever you think your problem is! I care about you! How you're hurting ponies for no reason! Who cares what ponies do with their time and money?! I thought it wasn't about that!" Spitfire felt something moist hit her cheek and she realised Rainbow Dash was crying, her sorrow catching in the wind. "Remember what you told me when you offered me the position? You said you picked me because I didn't want to be famous. You said you saw that I wanted to be a Wonderbolt because being a Wonderbolt meant being the best. I thought... I thought it was about being the best." Rainbow's shoulders sagged as her outburst died away. "Not about who knows it."

The Wonderbolts hovered hesitantly behind Spitfire as her eyes flicked from Rainbow Dash to the city and back, over and over. At last, her gaze settled on her protégé, uncertainty replaced with sad determination. "I thought you were loyal."

Rainbow Dash shook her head, the brightness of her mane sharp against the roiling mass of grey behind. "Not to this."

For the longest minute of Rainbow's life, Spitfire was silent. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out something tiny and glinting. She tossed it lightly, uncaringly, to Rainbow. "Congratulations. Be worthy of the name." As Rainbow scrambled to catch the object between her hooves, Spitfire turned her back, and her team turned with her. Rainbow barely heard her speak over the rumbling of the disaster in the distance. "I guess we weren't."

In a flurry of wings, they were gone, and Rainbow was alone, staring down at the badge she had dreamed of for so long.

Scene 9

Bon-Bon flailed wildly as Lyra's lips met hers.

"Mrbmbmrblmrblbl?!"

Lyra's forelegs wrapped around her, pulling Bon-Bon close as gently as her kiss was fierce.

"Mblrmblrmbrlmbrlbmrbl!"

Even as Bon-Bon's rational mind shorted out under the dual pressures of her fear of falling and the hitherto entirely unprecedented physical situation, her subconscious kicked into overdrive and began examining the circumstances.

1. I am underwater.
2. I am underwater in the sky.
3. Lyra is kissing me.
4. Lyra is kissing me in the sky.
5. I am in the sky.
6. I am underwater in the sky and Lyra is kissing me and I'm pretty sure I don't want her to stop.

Having suitably catalogued the pertinent facts, Bon-Bon's subconscious concluded that, frankly, it had no idea, and that she should probably just go with it because, let's be honest, she and Lyra had always been close and she'd always sort of wondered and they had been through a lot recently and maybe it was time to admit that maybe the reason their friendship had been so strained lately was partly because of the stress of the job and everything that had happened and partly because although she tried not to think about it and to stay sort of well okay aloof maybe possibly perhaps she might maybe sort of kind of possibly definitely perhaps entirely maybe actually maybe be in some kind of l-

Bon-Bon's soul exploded. She gasped and broke away from Lyra, clutching at her chest as the familiar warmth of the Element of Loyalty's power became an inferno. Lyra, too, was doubled over, pulsing with the green light they knew so well, and Bon-Bon could feel her own innate energies rippling through her. Cream and green suffused the water around them, and Bon-Bon instinctively reached out for Lyra. Lyra smiled and, ever so slowly, reached back. The two pools of light came together and shone ever brighter...

Their hooves touched.

Scene 10

Rainbow Dash felt the pulse of magic before she saw it, a strangely familiar warmth that thrilled every inch of her even as it terrified her. She spun to face the stadium just in time to catch the great sphere of light spreading across the city, with the seething storm at its center.

“What the hay is going o-”

The light hit her and her breath caught in her throat as magic filled her. In the distance, the stadium began to collapse inward, crumpling into itself like the world’s largest wad of paper, and the pulsing green light suffusing it throbbed brighter and brighter. Rainbow Dash flapped her wings desperately as she was buffeted by the magical and physical forces whirling about her. Glancing down at the city, she could make out the tiny forms of ponies scattering the area below and around the stadium, directed by what could only be M.A.R.E. forces.

The noise stopped. Rainbow Dash gasped for breath and righted herself, scanning the stadium for any sign of movement. The tangled remains hung motionless in the sky, the faint green glow the only sign of, well, anything.

Then it exploded.

A vast column of green light, tinged with cream, erupted from the epicenter, piercing the clouds above and the ground below. The stadium vanished instantly, seemingly vaporised by the incandescent pillar, chunks of cloudcrete flying across the city before being zapped from existence by crackling tendrils of lightning bursting from the light. Rainbow Dash stared, uncaring of its brightness, the impossible brilliance seeming to reach inside and touch something that had always been there, but never known how be there.

The light slowly faded, uncountable shining motes drifting over the city and into nothing. In its place, an empty sky and a crater below, carved from the city’s mercifully-evacuated streets by the storm of magic. Rainbow Dash clutched her chest and looked down breathing deeply.

“I think…” She whispered to herself, her gaze fixed on the rubble that filled the gaping bowl of earth, and the two figures within it. “I think I get it now.”

“I think I get what I’m supposed to do.”

Scene 11

A plume of dust and pebbles flew up as Bon-Bon kicked. The rubble moved and, at last, fell aside, and with one final effort she pulled herself free before collapsing and rolling onto her back, gasping for breath and revelling in the solid ground.

“We… made it… again!” She laughed with desperate relief as the dust settled. She’d fought robots the size of buildings, battled Trixie at the bottom of the sea, and hit someone in the face with the moon, but never had she felt so good as to not be in the sky anymore. She turned to Lyra, and…

“Lyra!” Bon-Bon leapt to her hooves and began scrabbling at the rubble, throwing aside boulders, cars, and anything else that got in her way. “Lyra, where are you?!” She grasped within herself for that connection they had shared since their Elements had awakened, that link that had bound them deeper than either of them would ever admit, and tried to sense her partner’s presence. “Lyra, I swear, if you don’t appear and say something stupid this instant, I’ll-”

“Hooooooooo, man!”

Bon-Bon’s head snapped around as a green hoof popped out of the debris, followed swiftly by the rest of her struggling partner. She galloped over and pulled Lyra to her hooves before clutching her tightly to her embrace. “Lyra, you’re alive! We’re alive!”

Lyra patted her shoulder awkwardly, laughing that carefree laugh. “Of course we’re alive! My rockin’ plan was totally on the money!”

Bon-Bon stepped back, self-consciously swiping her mane back into some sort of order. “I… plan?”

Lyra grinned. “Yeah, my totally sweet plan to trick the Element of Loyalty into saving us!”

A moment’s dreadful silence.

“To trick… What?”

“You know… We share the Element of Loyalty, right? So, I figured, we’re Loyalty because we’re friends, but we needed more pow, so, like, what’s the ultimate loyalty?” Lyra grinned again and made a kissing motion with her lips. “Love, right?”

“We needed more… pow.”

“Yeah! I mean, the Elements have always done crazy explody stuff when we’ve needed them to before, but we’ve never known how to draw it out! And this whole thing looked like we needed a big one, so, I, uh... took a guess.”

“Took… a guess.”

“Good plan, right?”

The wind howled through the dust and rubble of the crater.

“I...”

As the silence dragged on, and Bon-Bon's mouth worked, Lyra glanced away, nervously. Her smile faded, and she began to speak, haltingly.

“Look, I… I know you’re angry because I never tell you stuff and I’m always just making stuff up as I go along.”

“You...”

“But that’s who I am, BB. It’s how I work. And I want… I need you to be okay with that.”

“The...”

“I need you to fix me when I’m broken because… because I can’t do it by myself. I just can’t. That’s why I love you, Bon-Bon. Because you can.”

“It...”

“You fix me, every time.”

Bon-Bon stared at her. The silence dragged on for what felt like minutes. Then, she laughed, a light, true laugh welling up from her heart and pealing into the aftermath of their latest adventure. Lyra blinked.

“What? What’s so funny?”

Bon-Bon just laughed harder, tears streaming from her eyes as she fell to her haunches and clutched her sides.

“Come on, what’s the joke? I’m baring my soul here, BB!”

Bon-Bon struggled to get herself under control, wiping her eyes and taking great hiccuping breaths as Lyra pouted. “I’m… I’m sorry, I just… I just can’t…” She took one last gasping breath, letting it out slowly and getting to her hooves. As she wiped a final tear of laughter away, she smiled her kindest smile. “Let’s go home.”

Lyra trotted over, eyes narrowed. “Okay... whatever. Don’t think I haven’t finished with my big emotional thingy though, you’re not getting out of it that easily.”

“Oh, really? Because I sure can talk sometimes.”

“Hey, come on!”

“Seriously though, can you even imagine us as a couple?”

Lyra shrugged. “Why do you think I run away sometimes?”

Bon-Bon punched Lyra’s shoulder gently as she had so many times before, leaving her hoof resting there for just a moment longer. “Thanks, Lyra. It was a good trick.”

Lyra glanced at her friend, and opened her mouth to speak.

“You know, BB, I-”

“Hey!”

The two heroes looked up as Rainbow Dash rocketed into view, landing deftly before them and panting heavily. “There… you… are.”

Lyra stepped forward. “Oh my...Are you Rainbow Dash?! BB, it’s Rainbow Dash!”

“Uh… yeah. It is?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?! She’s the next Element?!”

“Well, yes, but, we were-”

“BB. BB. If you had just punched me in the butt and told me we could never be friends again, I would still have gone on a mission with you to recruit Rainbow frickin’ Dash.

“Listen, about that…” Lyra and Bon-Bon’s chatter cut out as Rainbow Dash quietly interrupted, struggling to find words. “I know I said I wasn’t interested, but… I was wrong. I made a mistake. I thought I was being loyal to my team but… I just wanted to succeed. I just wanted to be the best. But that light…” She looked up at them, and they both felt the warmth of something they knew all too well. “That light made me understand… something. I’m with you guys. Whatever you need me for.”

Lyra grinned and gave an exaggerated shrug. “Weeell, if you think it’s for the best. I mean, you’ll never the be the best, not while I’m around, but I’m sure we can find a place for you at M.A.R.E. somewhere.”

Rainbow Dash bristled despite herself. “Excuse me? I’m the fastest pegasus there ever was! I bet I can fight robomonsters or whatever better than anyone!”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah really.”

“Well maybe you should come back to headquarters with us!”

“Maybe I will!”

“Good!”

“Good!”

“Then follow us!”

“I will!”

As Lyra and Rainbow’s voices bounced increasingly loud across the crater, and the sound of sirens called in the distance as the M.A.R.E. crews moved in, Bon-Bon sighed happily. Another day, another crisis, another friend. She watched Lyra’s friendly prodding descend into bickering, and smiled at Rainbow Dash being sucked into the vortex of good-natured irritability that her friend projected at all times. She pondered what the future held for them.

She decided that, just for now, it didn’t really matter.

Epilogue

RAINBOW RACEWAY WRECKED - MANGLED BY M.A.R.E.’S MUNICIPAL MONOLOPY?

Derpy Hooves looked at the newspaper, then at the invoice she had just received from the government. Then back to the newspaper, then back to the invoice. Newspaper, invoice.

Very, very, very slowly, she lowered her head to the pillow she had laid on her desk, buried her face in it, and groaned.

Author's Note

I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE COMMENTS, BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN!

THEY'RE GONE NOW! GONE FOREVER!

AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT!

extra-long ridiculously wordy blog post here

Episode 27: Escalation

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS

by Arcainum

Opening Titles

Metropony City! Mighty skyscrapers towering over the millions of ponies going about their lives on the streets below! Working, playing or just taking in the weather, Metropony bustles as only the big city can. But! All is not well in this equine metropolis! Below the streets lies a threat - a threat to the happiness and friendship of good ponies everywhere! And the name of that threat is Luna, the exiled Princess who has returned with vengeance in her eyes! With the aid of Her villainous helper Trixie and her army of terrible Lunatrons, She will stop at nothing to destroy the pony way of life! Standing against her, however, are two heroic mares, known only to the citizens of Metropony as...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: EPISODE 27 - ESCALATION

Scene 1

“My Lady Luna! It is finished! It is finished!”

Trixie galloped down the dark grey metal hallway as fast as her legs could carry her, her starred cape and hat threatening to come off in her haste. She reached a huge bulkhead, ten ponies tall, and entered the password. She pranced impatiently as the impenetrable Reallyhardtofindium door worked its way through the various stages of hissing steam, slamming bars, spinning gears, flashing gauges, “Come oooooon, hurry up!”s and finally an ominous rumble as it swung open to reveal the inner sanctum.

“TRIXIE, LOYAL AND OCCASIONALLY USEFUL SERVANT! DO YOU BRING NEWS OF PROGRESS?”

Trixie winced as Luna’s Royal Supervillain Voice hit her like a steam train to the eardrums, but quickly recovered and trotted smugly to the base of the towering throne that held her mistress. She was used to Luna now, though the first time had been... inspiring.

The room she stood in was vast, several miles wide, and dark, with lamps scattered intermittently about vital areas. The impression was like that of the night sky, a black emptiness dotted with pinpricks of light. Largely hollow, it was crisscrossed with whirring conveyor belts, bubbling vats and creaking catwalks. On the belts, robotic monstrosities the size of houses. In the vats, creatures unknown to science or nature with powers from a nightmare. On the catwalks, thousands of loyal (or perhaps just stupid) henchponies working to further the goals of Luna’s conquest. And in the centre of it all, reclining on a diamond-studded black throne shaped like the crescent moon, was Luna Herself.

“My Lady, my latest creation is at last complete!”

Trixie was beaming now, her pride outweighing her irritation at Luna’s “occasionally useful”.

“EXCELLENT! HOW SOON UNTIL WE MAY USE IT TO FURTHER OUR PLANS TO DESTROY THIS FOALISH CITY?”

Luna joyful was a sight to behold, the stars in Her mane blazing and Her wings outstretched.

“I can leave within the hour, Mistress! The embassy will be ours!”

“PERFECT! YOU HAVE SERVED WELL, TRIXIE. COME, LAY YOURSELF AT YOUR PRINCESS’ HOOVES.”

Trixie glanced at the one thousand steps to Luna’s throne (one for every year of her imprisonment, She had once mentioned in a moment of reverie) and blanched slightly.

“Um, yes, you are most gracious, Mistress, but perhaps I should begin prepara-”

“NONSENSE, TRIXIE! FOR YOUR HARD WORK, I GIVE YOU THE GIFT OF MY PRESENCE!”

There was a moment of silence before Trixie sighed and began the long, long climb.

A few minutes later, she heaved herself up the final step and collapsed at the foot of Luna’s throne, gasping for breath. The majestic alicorn beamed down at her.

“YOUR DEVOTION PLEASES US GREATLY, TRIXIE! SUCCEED TODAY AND YOU SHALL NOT GO UNREWARDED! NOW, GO!”

Luna pointed a hoof at the vault door imperiously. Trixie lay for a moment, just glaring. Then she sighed a deep sigh that she had sighed a hundred times before and began the long, long descent.

Scene 2

Bon-Bon was in a good mood. She trotted along the busy street, occasionally glancing into the window of a popular boutique or interesting-looking restaurant, but never stopping. She had somewhere to be and she had already wasted enough time shopping. Eventually she reached the city’s central recreational park, Fluttershy Gardens. A pleasantly cool breeze rustled the trees, the sound of the leaves mingling with the laughter of children, the blaring of music and the calls of Metropony’s bizarrely varied pet collection.

She continued her stroll into the park, greeting the ponies she passed and dodging the odd renegade scooter. A few minutes’ walk into her walk, she reached her destination: an out-of-the-way bench situated in front of an old fountain. A bored-looking green unicorn with a white-striped mane and a lyre cutie mark was sitting in a most peculiar fashion looking bored, scanning the area for something. As Bon-Bon drew closer, the unicorn noticed her and called out, smiling.

“Bon-Bon! You took forever!”

Bon-Bon smiled back and trotted to the bench. She settled down next to her friend, depositing her shopping saddlebags on the ground.

“Sorry Lyra, I was taking it easy. I went down Fashion Row and - Celestia - have you seen Hoity Toity’s new range?”

The look Lyra gave her expressed Lyra’s thoughts on Hoity Toity’s new range and, indeed, fashion of any kind better than words ever could.

“Ahem. Anyway. I figured today we could go to the new aquarium they’ve opened up. All the magazines are raving about it and it’s meant to have some super-rare fish worth” - She cast a conspiratorial glance about - “worth thousands of bits.”

Lyra raised an eyebrow at the emphasis.

“Thousands, huh? Might be worth keeping an eye on.” She shifted in her seat, resting one forehoof on the back of the bench. “You think maybe Lu-”

She was interrupted by a sharp tone from the shopping bags. Furrowing her brow, Bon-Bon rummaged inside them and, beneath the clothes, hats and magazines, found a small brown object. Half wrapped in paper, its cloud-like top bulged outwards in a way that could only be described as fluffy.

She lifted the object up carefully. “A muffin? I didn’t put this in my bag...” Without warning, the muffin burst open with a moist pop and a grey metal disc was revealed within. As the two ponies recoiled in surprise, a tiny door on the disc opened to reveal a lens, which began to emit blue light. The light quickly took the shape of a pegasus wearing formal military dress. Upon seeing the hologram and the bubbles cutie mark one could just about make out on the pegasus’ flank, they recovered themselves.

“Commander!” admonished Lyra petulantly. “Why always with the dead drops in our stuff?!”

The pegasus, whose eyes resolutely refused to point in the same direction, snapped a quick salute (hitting herself in the forehead and wincing in pain) and blatantly ignored her.

“Lyra, Bon-Bon, good to see you. Is your location secure?”

“Secure enough, Commander Derpy, but it’s a bit late now, isn’t it?” said Bon-Bon, still somewhat irritated at the intrusion into her shopping.

The commander stopped for a moment, obviously processing the fact that she’d just activated a top-secret hologram in the middle of a public park.

“...Excellent point, pony. That’s why you’re the best. And that’s why we need you!” The last was given a dramatic flourish with a tiny blue pointed hoof. “We’ve received intel that Luna is targeting the new aquarium and we need you to stop it. Some of the fish in there are worth millions of bits! Just imagine the chaos she could wreak with that kind of funding! Get back to base and you’ll be briefed in full. Derpy out!”

The pegasus gave another not-quite-right salute (nearly catching herself in the eye this time) and disappeared, the blue light winking out as swiftly as it had appeared. Lyra and Bon-Bon exchanged looks of resignation.

“Guess we’re going to that aquarium after all,” Lyra sighed.

Scene 3

The elevator sped downwards swiftly but smoothly, a low hum the only indication of movement. Bon-Bon studied the notes they’d been handed by a technician upon their entry to HQ while Lyra fidgeted in boredom. After a few minutes of silence, she groaned theatrically.

“Ugh, this elevator is so boring. It takes like, what, five minutes? That’s way too long.”

Bon-Bon didn’t look up. “Perhaps it would go faster if you read what you’re supposed to read.”

“Psh, I don’t need to read that prep stuff. I work better when I improvise.” Sniffing disdainfully at the papers she’d immediately tossed in the corner upon entering, Lyra continued to fidget until the elevator suddenly halted and the doors slid open with only the faintest sound.

The two ponies walked out into a hive of activity. Lab-coated ponies scurried back and forth along white corridors, ducking in and out of innumerable featureless doors while armoured stallions stood guard. Through bullet-proof glass windows one could see laboratories, armouries, training rooms, barracks... all the equipment and personnel needed to defend Metropony from the threat of Luna. As they strolled through the organised chaos, Lyra and Bon-Bon were occasionally greeted by wide-eyed and awestruck staff, with countless variations of “Oh Celestia, you’re...” following them. They dismissed these with casual greetings and pleas for everypony to be at ease until they at last reached the mercy of the Commander’s Quarters.

Bon-Bon pressed a hoof to the intercom and requested entry, stepping back as the reinforced door hissed open.

“Ah, just the ponies I was looking for! I’ve been expecting you.”

Commander Derpy, her grey colouring and blonde mane now visible without the filtering effects of a hologram, stood at her desk. Paperwork and muffins lay strewn across it in a ratio weighted heavily towards the latter; a computer terminal was its only other feature. The rest of the room was just as chaotic as the base outside, but without the underlying sense of purpose. Ornaments and furniture had been placed, apparently, wherever had been convenient at the time and numerous diplomas, medals and old photos covered the walls haphazardly, as if they had been thrown there.

“Yes, Commander. You sent for us,” said Bon-Bon in a carefully neutral tone, looking pointedly at the muffins on the desk as the door behind them closed automatically.

Derpy followed her gaze and coughed apologetically, sweeping the desk clear in a few hurried motions and improving the overall tidiness of the room precisely not at all.

“Yes, yes of course. Now, for the reason. That I sent for you. Which is why I was expecting you. Because I sent for you. For this reason.” The commander pressed a button on her computer and a projection flickered into life on the one clear space of wall behind her. Featured was a picture of Former Princess Luna, laughing maniacally and rearing over an adorable cartoon representation of a city. “As you know, Luna is forever trying to destroy this wonderful city we call home. She will stop at nothing to destroy the peace that Metropony has held for so long.”

Lyra rolled her eyes. “You’re right, we do know. You tell us at least once a week. We fight her at least once a week.”

Ignoring her again but huffing slightly, Derpy continued, the projection changing to what could only be the new aquarium. It was an impressive building, made almost entirely out of magically-reinforced glass and at least five stories tall.

“Now, to the general public this is just a brand new aquarium, albeit a particularly impressive one. But what the general public do not know is that it is also an embassy for the sea poni-”

Before she could finish the word ‘ponies’, a yelp from Lyra cut her short. Bon-Bon jammed a hoof into her friend’s mouth and smiled sweetly, speaking over Lyra’s muffled protests.

“Ignore my partner, Commander. Please, do continue.”

Derpy blinked, then rallied from the interruption. “Uh, right. Yes. It is also an embassy for the sea ponies, who are donating generously to the city in return for protection against Luna’s undersea operations. I think you understand how important it is that this aquarium stay safe. I’m led to believe you had to plans to visit anyway. I want that visit to become a full-on undercover patrol. Stay ready, stay alert, but don’t give anything away. You’re just two mares enjoying a day of looking at the fish.”

Bon-Bon saluted with her free forehoof. “Roger that, Commander. We’re on our way. Should we drop in on ExTech before we deploy?”

As the commander nodded and returned the salute (causing the terminal’s monitor to wobble dangerously) she turned to leave, dragging a still-protesting Lyra out of the door. Just before the door closed behind them, Derpy could hear Lyra’s vehement protests. “Sea ponies! You said never again with the sea po-”

Scene 4

“Bon-Bon! Lyra! My two favourite ponies!”

As the duo entered the laboratory, Lyra trailing sullenly behind, they were greeted by a white unicorn with a shocking two-tone blue mane wearing purple-tinted goggles. It seemed she had been liberally applying a blowtorch to some arcane contrivance with her magic before they entered.

“Hey, Vinyl. What do you have for us today?” The unicorn pushed up her goggles and put down the blowtorch, trotting over with a wide grin on her grime-smeared face.

“Oh man, have I been making beautiful technological music for you two! Me and Tavi have got something that’s going to blow your minds.”

Bon-Bon looked around Vinyl Scratch’s lab, wondering what the unicorn and her cohorts could possibly come up with that was more...well, more anything than what they usually turned out. Experimental Technology was the organisation’s bleeding-edge branch: the place where the most innovative, ingenious and usually dangerous technology in Metropony was produced. Its only rivals were Luna’s vast and terrible magical factories, in which she produced her thousands of deadly Lunatrons.

This particular room was larger than the other laboratories on the base and cluttered with piles of magical technology that only Vinyl could ever hope to understand. Numerous assistants bustled about in the more open spaces, testing contraptions at various stages of completion. Here, a pony hovering a few feet above the ground in a makeshift jetpack, terror clear in her eyes as the gauges spun wildly. There, an experimental rifle reducing a practice dummy to ashes, along with the eyebrows and mane of the scientist firing it.

Before Bon-Bon could take in any more of the scene, Vinyl grabbed her and Lyra and guided them through a heavily-secured door (Vinyl had to scan her eye and hoof, put a lock of her mane into a glass receptacle and even sing a few bars before it opened) into the main office: the nerve centre of ExTech. Inside was a grey earth pony sitting elegantly at an array of terminals and screens that covered the entire wall. She glanced around as they entered.

“Ah, the terrible twosome. Come to destroy more of our work?”

Vinyl Scratch laughed brightly. “Ah, come on Tavi, you know it’s not their fault. If it weren’t for Trixie...” A brief hint of bitterness flashed across the unicorn’s face, replaced almost instantly with her usual smile. “Anyway, that’s not important. We need to show them The Things!”

Lyra surfaced from whatever depths the mention of sea ponies had taken her to, her eyes lighting up at the mention of the untold mysteries of ‘The Things’.

“The Things? What’s The Things? Show us The Things!” She rushed into the centre of the room, eager to witness what new marvel was about to enter the battle against Luna.

Vinyl grinned and turned to her partner. “Fire it up, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe.” Octavia went back to her computers, typing furiously as the screens blurred with data and Vinyl began to pull levers, press buttons and, at one point, pump bellows.

Seeing the two at work never ceased to amaze Bon-Bon. Vinyl Scratch was a mistress of the mechanical famed for her ability to build, upgrade or catastrophically destroy absolutely anything you could name and probably several things you couldn’t. Octavia, on the other hand, was queen of the digital. There was nothing she couldn’t hack, program or infiltrate. She wasn’t famed, because she never left a trace.

At last, Vinyl stood prepared by one final important-looking button and Octavia hit her final keystroke with a flourish, as though finishing Concerto For Computer Keyboard.

Vinyl’s grin widened. “Check this out.” With great ceremony, she pressed the button. A cunningly-hidden partition in the wall beside her slid out of view, revealing an alcove within that held...

“Barding? That’s it? You got us suits?” Lyra’s voice was simultaneously incredulous and disappointed. Hanging from the wall were two full-body suits made of what looked like plastic, one bright red and one a deep blue, with matching angular patterns picked out in white. Each suit had a heavy belt where saddlebags would lie and an oddly thick neckline. Lyra walked over to them and poked the blue one, an are-you-kidding-me look on her face. This look quickly evaporated as the suit began to flow up her foreleg, seeming to dissolve from the wall as it traveled along her outstretched limb. She squeaked in surprise, leaping back.

Vinyl’s smile, if possible, grew even wider, this time with smugness. “Not just any suits. Nanotech suits. I guess that one’s yours now. It’s bonded to you.”

Bon-Bon looked stunned, being quicker on the uptake than her partner, who was currently rolling around on the floor trying to get the blue suit to stop dressing her in itself. “Are you serious? Nanotech? That’s...amazing!”

“I know, right?” Vinyl was practically prancing with pride and glee now. “Each suit is one big colony of nanomachines with a central AI. They react to impacts dynamically, they repair themselves, they give us readouts on your vitals, they play music...These things even manufacture weapons on the fly! They are sweet, if I do say so myself. I made the nanos and Tavi wrote the program. This is gonna totally throw out our arms race with Trixie.”

With that, the effort the two specialists had put into the suits made a lot more sense. Equal to and sometimes surpassing their desire to defend Metropony from Luna was their desire to scientifically one-up Trixie, Luna’s most senior henchpony. It seemed that every time one side created something something so utterly crazy it couldn’t be topped, the other had been working on something equally insane and usually almost identical. It was getting to the point where the grunts would joke that the two organisations were sharing designs. But this was something new altogether.

There was a brief silence as Bon-Bon tentatively touched the red suit, letting it cover her, and Vinyl recovered from her gushing. Lyra, who had finally given up trying to disengage the clinging blue after hearing Vinyl’s explanation, picked herself up from the floor and looked at the suit that now hugged her body.

“So... can I take it off?”

Before Vinyl could answer, a distinctive klaxon sounded - a klaxon that meant only one thing. The four ponies’ eyes met, their expressions determined.

“Lunatron!”

Scene 5

Vinyl Scratch’s voice crackled in Bon-Bon’s ear as she and Lyra galloped across the rooftops, the new barding augmenting their strength and allowing them to hop, skip and jump the distances between buildings with ease.

“Okay, so at least your helmets work!”

As soon as the alert had sounded, Lyra and Bon-Bon had hustled to the emergency elevator that would take them to the surface in a matter of seconds. Before they left, Octavia had tapped some keys on her PDA and the suits had spread to cover their faces to form tight-fitting helmets in an extremely disconcerting fashion. They had also formed a slightly extruding black outline of their cutie marks where their faces would be. Even Bon-Bon had had to admit, though never aloud, that it was pretty cool.

“I’d hoped to get some proper testing in first, but I guess the field is the best stress-test, huh? Just try and come back in one piece; Redheart’ll have my flank if you’re injured again. Anyways, now that I know the comms work, I’m putting Tavi on for mission support. Always rooting for you guys!”

Her loud voice cut out and was replaced by the dulcet tones of Octavia.

“Bon-Bon, Lyra. Mission objectives: Protect the aquarium, destroy the Lunatron. Simple enough. Civilian reports indicate Lunatron is armed with plasma weaponry. Situation has been described as ‘the horror, the horror.’ Good luck.” Succinct as ever. The transmission cut in a buzz of static.

Lyra shouted over the rush of wind as they bounded towards the objective. “You ready for this, BB?”

Bon-Bon smiled and opened her mouth to respond, noting with relief that the nanomachines didn’t extend to inside her mouth. “When am I not? Let’s go save Metropony!”

The two laughed. Though neither of them would ever care to admit it, they loved their job. They kept running.

Scene 6

Rose cowered under the clumps of masonry that balanced precariously between two fallen pillars. Dust and ash covered her mane and coat, their usual red and cream almost invisible beneath the grey. Even her vivid rose cutie mark was obscured. Above her, all was noise and confusion. The screams of ponies and the roar of the crumbling district were drowned out by regular blasts of crackling thunder and a familiar voice, magically- and technologically-amplified to deafening levels.

“Gaze, feeble ponies, on your robotic doom! For I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, have come to destroy your pathetic temple of fish in the name of Luna!”

She’d just been going about her day talking with Daisy and Lily as usual, when suddenly something huge and metal had burst from the ground, scattering ponies and buildings alike. She hadn’t had much chance to examine it as she had fled. She’d lost her friends in the crowds, too, but she was confident they would be okay. Though Lily had a tendency to faint, Daisy would get her to safety all right. She always did. Every time this happened. Every week.

Rose could still hear Trixie laughing over the destruction.

“Are there none who dare defy the might of The Great and Powerful TrixAAAH!”

There was a kaboom that shook what was left of the surroundings, dislodging the slabs that formed the roof of Rose’s hiding place. She squeaked in fright and scurried into the open. Clear of her collapsing hideaway, she took stock of the situation. Around her, rubble and smashed glass. Above her, a towering metal pony, its head cresting the tops of the office blocks that it was currently destroying.

And there, on the roof of a nearby skyscraper, level with the head of the mechanical monstrosity, silhouetted against the gleaming sun...

“Harpflank and Sweets!” Rose exclaimed, before admonishing herself for being surprised. The mysterious ponies were always there when one of Trixie’s creations ran rampant, appearing from nowhere to save the day and disappearing as quickly as they had come. Their only identifiers were their cutie marks: a lyre and a trio of wrapped sweets.

Two ponies. Two saviours. Two heroes. Also one rocket launcher.

Scene 7

“Trixie, your reign of terror ends now!...Again!”

Lyra’s voice echoed through her helmet’s voice enhancer as she reared with what Bon-Bon considered unnecessary drama. The weapon attached to her back threatened to topple her and Bon-Bon pushed her back onto all four legs with one hoof, not as confident as her partner. This was the largest Lunatron Trixie had ever fielded, dwarfing her previous efforts by hundreds of feet. Like the suits, this was something new.

“Harpflank and Sweets! Curse you and your meddling! Never mind! This time, you shall not be successful! Even you shall tremble before the awesome power of the Lunatron 8000 Mega-X Gamma Special - Trixie Custom!”

The giant metallic pony brought a giant metallic hoof up to smash at the rooftop where the two ponies stood, but they were too fast for the lumbering machine and had already leapt to the next building.

The Lunatron’s head, however, followed them with alarming speed and two lances of superheated plasma burst from its eyes, drawing lines of fire behind the two galloping heroes. Lyra jumped, spinning in the air and firing another rocket at the face of Trixie’s creation. The explosion shattered its left eye, causing one of the beams to evaporate.

Lyra landed unsteadily, almost tripping, but righting herself before the next roof-to-roof leap. The other beam of plasma began to slow, then disappear. If Trixie’s muffled curses were anything to go by, the destruction of the left eye’s weapon was giving the Lunatron power-problems.

With a triumphant exclamation, Trixie switched to more conventional weaponry. A flurry of missiles erupted from the Lunatron’s flanks, darting towards Lyra and Bon-Bon like a school of explosive, jet-powered fish.

Still running, Bon-Bon pulled a chaff grenade from her utility saddlebag and threw it behind them, Lyra pulling the pin magically. The flash of guidance-scrambling chaff caused the missiles to veer wildly, some even turning back on the machine that had fired them, the rest crashing harmlessly to the ground.

“Gah! Confound your gadgetry! Why can’t I hit you?! You’ve never been this fast before! No matter! Now you are trapped, foolish ponies!”

Bon-Bon looked around quickly and gasped as she realised that Trixie had used the beams and missiles to herd them onto an isolated rooftop, the buildings around which were already reduced to rubble by Trixie’s calamitous machinations. The Lunatron lifted both forehooves, ready to crush the structure and the two ponies on it into a fine paste. A voice suddenly sounded within Bon-Bon’s helmet.

“Bon-Bon! The nanomachines! Think ‘defense’ REALLY HARD! Trust me!” Following Vinyl’s instruction and panicking only slightly, Bon-Bon closed her eyes and concentrated as hard as she could on not dying at this particular moment in time, if that was okay with everypony. Lyra was shouting something in her direction, presumably trying to get her to move, but Bon-Bon trusted in the unicorn mechanic’s judgement. She had never let them down before. Lyra was screaming at her, torn between risking the jump from the rooftop and dying with her apparently suicidal friend. The Lunatron’s hooves came crashing down.

Scene 8

There was a terrible silence. The Lunatron stood, hooves embedded in the roof of the huge structure. Trixie cackled, her laughter rich with triumph.

“At last! At last! Trixie finally wins! With this victory, Luna’s empire may...”

Her voice trailed off as the smoke began to clear. Bon-Bon opened her eyes, very slowly, just in case she was dead and wouldn’t like what she was about to see. Above her was the Lunatron, still rearing above the city. But between her and the mechanical monster was a strange haze that hurt to look at, as if reality itself was slightly out of focus. Vinyl whooped in her ear.

“Yes! It worked! I am SO GOOD! Who thought large-scale gravity manipulation could be applied on a small-scale basis? I thought large-scale gravity manipulation could be applied on a small-scale basis, that’s who! Repulsion field is a SUCCESS!”

As Vinyl cheered her own genius, Trixie’s voice gathered itself, and the Lunatron began to shift, its self-repair mechanisms having compensated for the shock that being stopped dead had given its systems.

“Hmph! So you’ve learned some new tricks! Well, that will do you no good, for the Lunatron 8000 Mega-X Gamma Special - Trixie Custom has tricks of its own!”

At this, the Lunatron settled back onto all four hooves and began to emit a terrible high-pitched whine, appearing to brace itself against some imaginary impact. Bon-Bon interrupted Vinyl’s self-congratulatory spiel as the Lunatron’s head began to open like a flower, revealing what was easily the second-largest cannon either she or Lyra had ever seen.

“Um, Vinyl, I don’t mean to sound impatient but, uh-”

Vinyl caught herself and coughed. “Oh, cannon, right. No problem. Lyra, stand next to Bon-Bon. After that, I want both of you to say ‘Cello on.’”

There was a pause, the piercing sound from the Lunatron growing ever louder. A pinprick of light had appeared in the depths of the cannon’s barrel now and the sound was almost painful.

“Do what?” Lyra’s voice could have cut stone.

“‘Cello on.’ Seriously, just do it. And, uh, try not to be too surprised. We didn’t have time to replace the placeholders.”

The two ponies met each others’ gaze as best as they were able in the face-covering helmets. Vinyl really had never let them down before... Wordlessly, they stood next to each other. Lyra shrugged.

“Cello on.”

The two ponies gasped as though struck. The nanomachines that formed their battle suits felt like they were on fire, and with alarm Bon-Bon realised that they were glowing with energy. Jerking in pain but somehow unharmed, she staggered to her partner and tried to keep them both upright.

As they leaned into each other, the suits began to writhe and bulge. They were replicating. The bulges broke free, the red and blue twisting together to form one mass of writhing grey metal that quickly began to grow. And grow. And grow.

Within moments, the tiny machines had replicated to such an extent that they dwarfed the building they had grown from. The form they had assumed came loose, and the suits cooled, returning to their original colour. Pain subsiding, the two ponies looked up, rendered speechless by shock and sheer disbelief.

“Like I said, still a placeholder program.”

Hovering above them was a cello. A huge, enormous, gigantic cello. Easily the size of the Lunatron they faced, it hung in the air suspended by whatever mix of magic and technology that had powered Bon-Bon’s repulsor field.

Trixie’s voice echoed what everypony was thinking, mocking but tinged with uncertainty. A flying metal cello the size of a skyscraper was not on her list of Things Trixie Expected To Deal With Today.

“But...what in Luna’s name are you going to do with that?”

Bon-Bon opened her mouth then stopped. “What are we going to do with this?”

She looked at Lyra, who had righted herself and deactivated her helmet. She had on her face the most terrifying smile Bon-Bon had ever seen.

“We. Are going. To hit her with it.”

Lyra’s horn began to glow with magic, her natural levitation powers augmented by the suit in the same way her muscles had been.

“Oooh, nonononononononono! Snips, Snails, charge the cannon faster! FASTER!”

The Lunatron’s power source was practically screaming now as the glow within the barrel intensified, a miniature sun in the making. The megacello, however, was rapidly rising, Lyra’s magic bringing it up ready to swing downwards. A corona of light formed around its body as it reached the zenith of its ascent, eclipsing the sun.

“Oh dear.” Bon-Bon lay down and covered her ears.

The cello fell. Slowly at first, as if the world couldn’t quite work out how something so large had made it so far into the air and was prepared to let it stay there if it felt like it. Then gravity and Lyra’s magic began to do their work, and it fell, like the wrath of Celestia. The Lunatron’s aim angled upwards, as if to somehow prevent the gargantuan instrument from doing precisely what it was about to do.

And still the cello fell, leaving bright white lines in the sky as it tore the air with its meteoric descent. The glow from Lyra’s horn had enveloped her entire body as she poured everything she had into bringing it down faster. Trixie’s voice was almost as high as the keening of the charging weapon as she shrieked in terror.

And still the cello fell, flames licking at its edge as it reached speeds that no cello had ever reached before or would ever reach again. Lyra was laughing now. Her magic was a blazing pillar of green vengeance.

And then it hit.

The resulting noise was later described by a dazed bystander as “like Celestia playing a power chord on a guitar made out of the beginning of time. Only louder.”

Scene 9

Bon-Bon opened her eyes, worried for the second time that day that she might actually be dead and just hadn’t realised it yet. The sun was bright and the breeze cool. She was still alive. The shockwave, debris and cataclysmic sound from the cello’s impact had blown her across the roof, knocking her into Lyra and dispelling the magical field that had been holding her friend in place.

She rolled over, body aching. Lyra was lying next to her, stirring into wakefulness and asking her something that she couldn’t hear. She asked Lyra to repeat it, but with a shock realised she couldn’t hear what was being said. The look on her partner’s face made it clear she had the same problem. Just as it became horrifyingly apparent that they had gone deaf, a voice buzzed in her ear.

“...on...B...yra?...ou...o...ay?...eak to me, guys!” Blessed sound returned, slowly but surely. Almost crying with relief, she forced her battered body to form a sentence.

“Bon-Bon and Lyra... reporting... mission accomplished.” With that, she lapsed back into peaceful unconsciousness.

Far below them, the deep crater where there had once been a Lunatron sizzled quietly. A lone cream pony with a rose cutie mark lay near the crater’s edge, sucking down huge gulps of air and desperately trying not think unpony-like thoughts about the two heroes.

“Every...single...week...”

Scene 10

Nurse Redheart slapped a bandage onto Lyra’s midriff, hard, her face stern.

“Ow! Come on, Redheart, did you see that thing? We got the right to be a little bruised, right?”

Redheart said nothing, continuing to dress Lyra’s wounds with perhaps more force than was required. The struggle was interrupted by a screen on the clinic wall crackling to life and displaying the mismatched eyes of the Commander.

“Lyra, Bon-Bon, that was great work. Clean-up is dealing with the fallout from your, uh, impressive destruction of the Lunatron and Vinyl is very excited about how well the new suits performed. I think we may finally have broken the cycle and left Trixie in the dust. Well done, ponies. You’ve earned your rest.” She saluted, hitting the camera and causing it to cut out.

Bon-Bon lay on another of the base clinic’s beds, lost in thought. She’d expected to settle down and recuperate once the clean-up teams had arrived and the press had gotten their usual interrogation out of the way, but something had been troubling her. Lyra had enjoyed destroying that Lunatron too much. The look on her face when she had had the idea... Bon-Bon could still see it when she closed her eyes.

Her reverie was interrupted by the very pony she was worrying about, leaning over and pushing the fussing Redheart away.

“Never did get to see that aquarium! But what about those suits, huh? Aren’t they amazing? Did you see what I did?! We won’t be having any more problems from Trixie for a while, I bet-owowowowowow...”

Redheart had obviously decided Lyra wouldn’t suffer from a little extra bruising if it made her stay still. Bon-Bon smiled weakly.

“Yeah...pretty amazing, all right.” But all she could see in her mind was a green pillar of magic, reaching into the sky.

[ Credits roll.

NEXT WEEK ON HARPFLANK AND SWEETS:

“Dammit, Lyra, you’ve changed!”
“Tavi! Nooooooooooooo!”
“The sun! What’s happened to the sun?!”
- Trixie laughs triumphantly -
“The horror! THE HORROR!”

TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF... HARPFLANK AND SWEETS ]

Epilogue

Luna enraged was far, far more impressive than Luna joyful.

“YOU HAVE FAILED US ONCE MORE, TRIXIE! THOSE FISH WERE WORTH TRILLIONS OF BITS! NOT TO MENTION THE DIPLOMATIC CHAOS THE DESTRUCTION OF THE SEA PONY EMBASSY WOULD HAVE CAUSED! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!”

Trixie, cloak and hat still smoking and spotted with ash from her narrow escape, cowered before her Princess.

“My Lady, they had some new technology, some terrible new magic...You could not even begin to imagine!”

She shuddered at the thought. She was already jumping involuntarily whenever she saw a stringed instrument.

“AS WE RECALL, THAT IS WHY WE EMPLOY YOU. TO MATCH THEIR TECHNOLOGY AND MAGIC.”

Trixie winced at the implication. If she couldn’t come up with something soon, she would be off the Princess’ payroll. And she had seen far, far too much of Luna’s operations to get off with just a pink slip.

“I know, my gracious and understanding Mistress, but this was...something else! It had to have been...” Her voice faded into a pensive silence.

Luna fluttered Her wings impatiently and stamped a hoof.

“SPEAK, TRIXIE. YOUR PRINCESS DOES NOT APPRECIATE BEING KEPT WAITING.”

Trixie snapped out of whatever thought had been occupying her and smiled brightly.

“No problem, Lady! I shall have my next creation before your hooves within the week!” She galloped out, barely registering Luna’s frustration at being largely ignored.

Once Trixie was out of sight, however, Luna settled down. She knew Her minion and, as much as it pained Her to admit it, trusted her. Better as the enemy’s designs often were, Trixie’s were still excellent. If an idea had so grabbed her that she became oblivious to the attention of Luna Herself, it was an idea that may change the balance of power once more. A great and powerful idea. Luna spoke quietly to Herself, Her voice deafening only those within the room.

“SOON, CELESTIA...SOON, EVERYTHING WILL BE MINE.”

Coming soon: Episode 14 - A Scratch In Time!

Episode 37: Season Finale - Part 1

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS STRIKE BACK

by Arcainum

Opening Titles

Metropony City! Mighty skyscrapers towering over the millions of ponies going about their lives on the streets below! Working, playing or just taking in the weather, Metropony bustles as only the big city can. But! All is not well in this equine metropolis! Below the streets lies a threat - a threat to the happiness and friendship of good ponies everywhere! And the name of that threat is Luna, the exiled Princess who has returned with vengeance in her eyes! With the aid of Her villainous helper Trixie and her army of terrible Lunatrons, She will stop at nothing to destroy the pony way of life! Standing against her, however, are two heroic mares, known only to the citizens of Metropony as...

HARPFLANK AND SWEETS: EPISODE 37 (SEASON FINALE PART 1)

Scene 1

“Today. I end it today.”

Luna blinked. Usually when Trixie entered Her throne room there was grovelling, recriminations, and the promise of future successes. But today, Her servant had cut straight through the preamble and stridden purposefully to the foot of the throne, so full of energy that she was practically vibrating.

“YOU SEEM... DRIVEN, MY SERVANT.”

Trixie scoffed, showing none of the fear or respect she usually afforded her mistress. Something was very different.

“Perhaps, my Lady. I finally know my purpose. I confess that I have perhaps not devoted the full extent of my abilities to your cause until now. But my eyes have been opened. This city must burn.”

Luna nodded, pleased with Her servant’s vehemence. There was a fire in Trixie now, a fire She had never felt before. Victory had never felt closer. But deep within her, a worm of doubt began to gnaw.

“TRIXIE, KNOW THAT DESPITE YOUR FAILURES, YOU HAVE BEEN A WORTHY SERVANT TO US. GO NOW. END THIS.”

Trixie bowed, a deep and honest bow.

“I go, my Lady. Harpflank and Sweets shall die, and Metropony with them.”

She turned smartly to leave. As she neared the throne room’s threshold, Luna called to her.

“TRIXIE.”

There was a pause as Trixie waited, not facing her mistress. Luna hesitated, struggling to form the words She wished to speak, having been so long in exile with no need for words such as these.

“DO NOT... DO NOT DO SOMETHING WE WOULD REGRET.”

Trixie stood for moment, half-ready to turn and face Luna. The silence continued for what felt like eons.

And then she left.

Scene 2

Lyra tapped her hoof impatiently as Vinyl Scratch moved the scanning device along, around, across and over her.

“Come on, this is taking forever! Do the suits need checking up on that badly?”

Lyra and Bon-Bon stood in Vinyl’s personal work area in the centre of ExTech, an island of calm in the frenzied activity that characterised their organisation’s research and development division. Vinyl and Octavia had called them in for what Vinyl had referred to as “essential suit maintenance,” but seemed to consist solely of the pair of scientists taking interminable readings from their nanotechnology creations while Lyra and Bon-Bon sat there wearing them. For hours.

The glow of magic from Vinyl’s horn winked out and the scanner dropped to her desk. She tutted and gave Lyra an uncharacteristically stern glance.

“Yes, Lyra, they do. Haven’t you noticed? These things have been glitching like crazy.”

Bon-Bon spoke from her position a few feet away, where Octavia was sitting at a computer hooked to the red suit with gleaming electrodes and typing rapidly.

“Don’t you remember when that giant butterfly attacked Celestia Tower? You couldn’t move for an hour!”

Octavia looked up from her typing, adding,

“The Cloudsdale incident. The vitals readings were most unusual.”

Vinyl turned to face Lyra again.

“And that’s not even mentioning that thing with the dragon. There’s not even an anvil program in there!”

Her face softened, and her happy-go-lucky charm returned.

“So yeah, we gotta check up on your suits. We’re pretty much done though. Just gotta do some tests and repairs on the suits themselves that you don’t have to be there for.” She quickly added the last as Lyra groaned obnoxiously in frustration.

She stood back, and Octavia hit a final key before addressing the two heroes.

“Commence nanosuit removal.”

Lyra and Bon-Bon performed the routine they had performed many times now, extending a foreleg and willing the suits to remove themselves. The red suit glowed faintly and began to flow across Bon-Bon’s body and down her leg, pooling on Octavia’s desk before reforming into its default shape. Lyra also extended her leg, but nothing happened. There was an awkward pause.

Vinyl made “hurry up” motions.

“Uh, Lyra? The suit. You have to think it off. You know this.”

Lyra shook her leg, frowning.

“I’m trying! Look, this is me thinking!” She screwed up her face as if to illustrate the sheer degree of her thinking-ness.

But still nothing happened. Bon-Bon and Octavia trotted over, looking confused. Lyra was shaking her leg more frantically now, annoyed at the suit’s refusal to leave her body.

“Seriously, what is this thing’s problem?”

Before anyone could answer, a familiar alarm blared into life, drowning out Lyra’s irritation. Vinyl and Octavia exchanged worried glances.

“Lyra, I don’t know if we’re cool with letting you leave with that on...”

Lyra shook her head, about-facing and running for the door.

“Doesn’t matter, we got a robot to fight! Come on, BB!”

Bon-Bon hesitated, then followed her partner, calling back over the alarm,

“I’ll keep an eye on the suit, Vinyl! Keep mine, Lyra can cover me!”

Vinyl began to respond but Lyra and Bon-Bon had already galloped from the room. The shrieking klaxon quietened to an endlessly repeating alert announcement as the base prepared for support and clean-up. Vinyl turned to Octavia.

“Okay, babe, I want to check out Bon-Bon’s suit. Could you run comms for this mission?”

Octavia nodded and left through the Head Office’s heavy door, shooting back just before it closed behind her,

“Don’t call me babe.”

Vinyl grinned mischievously and refocused her attention on the red nanomachine barding in front of her. She magically lifted the scanner again and went to work. After making another brief scan, she craned her neck to see the readings on the terminal Octavia had been using. Just below her field of vision, almost imperceptibly, the suit twitched.

Scene 3

The two heroes were, as usual, taking the rooftop route to the coordinates they had been given. Bon-Bon began to lag behind as Lyra’s suit-enhanced muscles pushed her forward. She called forward over the wind.

“Lyra! Slow down! I don’t have a suit, remember?”

Lyra’s head snapped round and Bon-Bon was surprised to note a look of annoyance flash across her face before returning to her usual casual smile.

“Sorry, BB! Guess I’m getting a little carried away! Just can’t wait to get rid of whatever Trixie’s cooked up this week!”

She slowed, though not by much, and Bon-Bon still had to push herself hard just to keep pace. Strange thoughts began to surface as they ran. Lyra had been worrying her lately, for at least a month. She seemed less concerned with defending the city and more eager to destroy Trixie’s creations. Even more unsettling was that she had apparently stopped worrying about their encounter at the fair the previous week entirely. When Bon-Bon had questioned her a few days after Trixie’s wholehearted denial of their offer of friendship, she had shrugged and brushed it off as a return to the status quo.

Not only that, but she seemed more aloof, more cocky in general. Lyra had always been confident in her own abilities, but more recently it felt like she had stopped entertaining the possibility of defeat at all. She was using magic more, too. If a problem could be solved with her hooves, Lyra would try her horn first. Bon-Bon had used to consider her the least magically-oriented unicorn she knew but now... She was changing. And not necessarily for the better.

Bon-Bon shook herself free of her thoughts. There was time enough for that later. For now, she took comfort in having a goal and the tools to accomplish it. She was wearing the utility saddlebags she had worn before the nanosuits. Vinyl had kept updating it even as it became obsolete, insisting that one day she might need it. Bon-Bon smiled as she thanked the specialist’s foresight.

Looking forward to her bounding partner, she noticed something... off. Something strange about Lyra’s movements. She narrowed her eyes and realised that the suit was moving slightly out of sync with Lyra’s body. The effect was unsettling, as if the suit was trying to emulate the movements of the pony that wore it but hadn’t gotten it quite right. She made a resolution there and then to confront Lyra about her behaviour and drag her to ExTech as soon as this mission was over. There was something going on, and she was certain the suit had something to do with it.

Scene 4

Octavia tapped away at her terminal array, streams of text flashing before her. Lyra and Bon-Bon were en route and as of yet needed no guidance, so she was taking the opportunity to investigate the data that had been gathered from the nanosuits. Her head flicked from side to side as she took it all in, hooves almost blurring as she put her genius to work collating the research they had done on the suits so far. There was a pattern emerging in the nanosuit AI, something that felt familiar but she just couldn’t place.

She stopped, mouth open as she recognised a line of code that she would always remember. This was very, very bad. On the screen before her, a single innocuous series of green characters nested in a sea of the same, was the identifier for the Lunatron central AI unit that she and Vinyl had cannibalised the nanosuit concept from.

She realised that she was sitting in silence. Between the explosions of failed experiments, cries of triumph when something actually worked, and Vinyl’s pleasant but penetrating voice, their department was never silent.

Very carefully, she eased herself from her chair and crept over to the small gun rack in the corner. Lifting a pistol in her mouth, she moved quickly and quietly over to the door, pressing her ear to it in an effort to hear. Nothing. Gripping her weapon tightly, she reached for the door release, and stepped back into cover as it ground open.

Silence. Heart pounding, Octavia leapt out of cover, ready to fire. She gasped at the scene before her, dropping the pistol.

ExTech was a wreck. All around lay unconscious researchers and smashed machinery, the destruction both random and precise. It seemed everything that could be destroyed had been, but the damage itself was all clean, sheer lines, as if some incredibly sharp blade had been swung about the lab. Thankfully, none of the fallen ponies seemed to be hurt beyond whatever had rendered them inert.

Something hissed, a low and guttural sound. Behind her. Octavia whirled around just before she remembered her weapon now lay at her hooves. Standing directly in front of her and bathing her in crimson light was the nanosuit, expanded as though a pony was wearing it. Whip-like nanomachine tendrils grew and dissolved at random and the sickly glow pulsed like a heartbeat. Crying in surprise, Octavia fell back, the shock overwhelming her usual taciturn demeanour. The red beast hissed again, a strange sound that seemed too organic to have come from its metal throat. Its snaking limbs grew rigid and visibly sharpened, poised to strike.

Scrabbling for her weapon, a discarded piece of technology, anything to avert her impending demise, Octavia’s thoughts were only of Vinyl and what had happened to her. The creature struck.

Just before the barbed limbs reached her, it stopped dead. It began shaking, as though fighting to control its own actions. As the suit shuddered and twitched, Octavia looked into the blank red expanse that passed for a face. Where its mouth would lie, a barely visible line emerged along with a tiny voice, hoarse with effort. Somepony was wearing it.

“Told you... never gonna...hurt... anypony...”

The suit reared in what looked like pain, screaming with a harsh buzz of static. It clutched its head for a few moments then galloped from the room, slicing the reinforced door in two effortlessly.

Octavia sat stunned for a moment, the horror of what she had just experienced filling her thoughts. Vinyl was in there, and she was alive. Her analytical side kicked in. Though Vinyl had obviously been fighting the suit’s control, she was just as obviously fading fast. With ExTech destroyed, there was no anti-nanomachine technology left in the base, and the suit was strong enough that any attempt to destroy it would invariably involve Vinyl going with it. She tried every angle in her mind, but... There was no way to save her.

Collecting herself, but still shaking, she stood. Following the rampaging suit into the corridor, she marvelled at its speed. It had already moved out of sight, further into the base. She began tracking its progress by following the gashes where its wildly flailing tendrils had scored the walls. The screams of ponies and the electronic screech of the suit reached her ears. She galloped towards them, dreading what she might find.

Scene 5

Rarity Square was empty, devoid of even the usual bustling Metropony citizenry. Lyra and Bon-Bon looked around in confusion. The journey here had been strangely quiet too, even factoring in their rooftop path. Not even the birds could be heard. An area several miles wide was totally and utterly empty of life. Something was very wrong. Lyra pranced impatiently.

“Where is she? Shouldn’t there be a Lunatron stomping around or something? I thought we were here to fight!”

Bon-Bon waved a placating hoof at her friend.

“I don’t know, Lyra. Something about this worries me. Where is everypony?”

A familiar voice replied, seeming to come from all around them.

“They have been removed, Harpflank and Sweets. Or should I say ‘Lyra and Bon-Bon?’”

With a puff of smoke and fireworks, Trixie appeared in the centre of the plaza. Her face was smug, with just the faintest hint of the bitterness within.

“My Lady’s army has transferred the denizens of Metropony to a safe, but secure, location underground.”

Bon-Bon narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

“What are you going to do with them, Trixie?! If you hurt a single pony-”

Trixie’s derisive laughter washed over her, cutting her off. The villainous unicorn waved a hoof nonchalantly, pacing back and forth as if on stage.

“Oh Bon-Bon, so righteous. Of course they won’t be hurt! How can my Lady Luna come to rule if there is nopony to rule over? No, they are merely being... protected. From the coming storm.”

Lyra pawed the ground aggressively, barely able to contain her desire to leap at Trixie.

“Who cares? Bring out your robot or whatever so we can blow it up!”

Trixie laughed again.

“You seem very anxious to attack, Lyra. But we both know you’re not going to fight me.”

She turned to look Lyra directly in the eye. Lyra saw something in Trixie’s gaze that felt somehow familiar and, deep in her heart, something cried out for attention. Her suit, ever so faintly, began to glow.

“You’re going to join me.”

Scene 6

Octavia rounded the corner at a run and skidded to a halt in the next corridor. She had barely been able to keep up with the red suit’s rampage as it moved with deadly purpose towards the Commander’s office.

The base was a mess, worse than it had been during the Lunatron attack so many weeks ago. Gaping wounds lined the walls where the suit had randomly slashed with its weapons, and everywhere lay unconscious ponies. It seemed what was left of Vinyl was keeping the suit under enough control to stop it killing anyone, at the expense of the rest of the base. Broken glass crunched underhoof.

A door burst open and Nurse Redheart leapt into view, grabbing the suit around the neck and attempting to wrest the suit from Vinyl’s body with her teeth. Octavia gasped as a writhing tentacle coiled around the nurse’s waist and tossed her almost casually across the corridor, slamming her into a wall with enough force to knock her out. This was getting worse by the minute. She grabbed a communicator from a fallen guard and frantically activated the emergency frequency as the suit continued its unstoppable advance.

“Commander Hooves, come in. Come in Commander Hooves!”

After a few seconds of static, Derpy’s voice emerged from the device.

“This is Derpy. Situation?”

Octavia quickly explained how the suit had gone rogue and, based on its programming, was most likely heading straight for Derpy’s office. She reached the point she had been dreading.

“Suit has control of Vinyl Scratch. She is fighting, but... “ She took a deep, harrowed breath. “All anti-nano tech has been destroyed, and the suit is too strong to destroy without... Removal is impossible.”

Derpy was silent. When she replied a few moments later, her voice was solemn.

“Roger that, Octavia. Deploying Bubbles, with your permission.”

Octavia closed her eyes, wracking her brain for any solution other than what the Commander was suggesting. But with ExTech in the state that it was... nothing came.

“It has to be done, Commander. The suit is too dangerous.”

“Celestia bless your sacrifice, Octavia.”

The communicator cut out and Octavia continued to follow the suit, heart heavy.

Scene 7

She reached the main corridor just after the suit did. It had been slowed by a surprisingly effective barricade set up by some enterprising guards but their small-arms fire had been unable to even reach the suit’s body, deflected by repulsor fields and dexterous tendrils. Those same guards now lay sprawled behind the suit as it walked onwards, jerking unnaturally and letting out garbled static roars. Octavia prayed that the Commander was ready.

Before she could finish the thought, the Commander’s door opened in the distance, quiet hiss inaudible at the other end of the vast thoroughfare.

Inside was a sight that nopony had seen for many years. The back wall of Derpy’s office had retracted, replaced with two enormous metal brackets in a secret compartment. What they had held currently filled the length of the room, from the threshold to the extended back wall.

A huge rifle, almost ten feet long, was strapped to the Commander’s desk, a heavy stand reaching from the mid-point of the barrel to the floor to steady it further. The barrel itself was thick, several inches wide, and covered in strange clear pipes through which flowed a bright blue liquid. Heavy wires extended from the trigger housing into a magically-infused fusion generator that, Octavia realised, had always lain unobtrusively in the corner of the office. The scope was a mass of electronics that culminated in a pair of sleek goggles, feeding targeting data straight into the eyes of its wielder, Derpy, who stood poised in a tense firing stance. Inscribed on the gun’s stock were the bubbles of the Commander’s cutie mark.

She activated her communicator again as the suit screeched and began to charge down the corridor towards her.

“Bubbles is ready, and the suit is a confirmed triple-S threat. I’m taking the shot. I’m... sorry.”

A single tear rolled down Octavia’s cheek.

“Make it quick.”

Derpy shifted her weight, settling into position. The fusion generator rumbled as power, electrical and magical, flowed from it into the gun and the barrel began to glow as the accumulating energy began to heat it. The liquid coolant in the pipes bubbled, struggling against the raw magical potential straining within the weapon’s mechanisms.

“Don’t worry, Octavia. Back in the day, I was known for two things. My eyes...”

She hooked her foreleg around the trigger, so large it was essentially a lever.

“And my aim.”

She fired.

When asked to recall the event later, Octavia swore that she saw the next instant in slow motion. With a deafening roar, Derpy and her colossal rifle were thrown back into the wall as her impromptu securing of the the gun proved insufficient. Even as it crashed to the floor with its owner, the rifle hissed with steam as the coolant automatically pumped itself through the workings of the gun.

The bullet streaked along the corridor, trailing a line of white fire as it ripped through the air. The shockwave it left behind it shattered windows as it passed and ripped doors from their housings. A bowed spectrum began to form around it as it travelled at unimaginable speed. Halfway to its destination, the spectrum burst. A disc of rainbow light exploded outwards. The very walls of the corridor ballooned outwards as the irresistible force of the sonic rainboom crashed into them, leaving a perfectly spherical depression several rooms across.

The suit brought up a repulsor field. Even as the the glimmering wall appeared, the bullet passed straight through, space itself seeming to warp slightly as the projectile’s insane velocity largely ignored the gravitational inversion.

And then, just as Octavia’s brain had registered the bullet’s passage, it reached its target.

Bubbles never missed.

Scene 8

It was Bon-Bon’s turn to scoff.

“Join you?”

Trixie gave her a pitying look, as if she were a filly who had answered a question wrong in class.

“Yes, join me. You wouldn’t understand, Bon-Bon. You could never understand what it means to be trapped in a world of lesser ponies who don’t respect your greatness, or power, for what they truly are.”

She turned back to Lyra, who was staring at the ground, lost in thought.

“You know what I mean, don’t you, Lyra? I have seen you perform magnificent feats of magic beyond a pony’s wildest dreams! That cello, indescribable! And yet here you are, still tagging along behind Bon-Bon and her other ‘friends’. I can feel your power in the air, as we speak, and you are constantly reined in by your pathetic organisation for the sake of a million ungrateful whelps who don’t even know your name.”

Bon-Bon charged, enraged that Trixie, whom they had tried so hard to befriend, could turn so quickly back to such a villainous course. But she was stopped short by a voice that, for all its hesitancy, hit her like a physical force and chilled her to the very core.

“... I think she’s right, BB.”

Bon-Bon slowly turned to face her friend, unable to believe what she was hearing. Lyra was looking at her strangely, unable to meet her eye but unwilling to look away.

“What did you say?”

Lyra took a deep breath and faced Bon-Bon fully.

“I think she’s right. I am powerful. Really powerful. And... I never got anything out of it.”

Bon-Bon’s mouth dropped open, and she sputtered as the full impact of what her friend was saying hit her.

“But... But we defend the city! You get... the citizen’s happiness! The knowledge that we’ve kept the city safe! That justice has bee-”

“And what good is that?!”

Lyra cut her off with a shout, feelings welling up inside her that she could no longer deny and was forced to take out on her closest friend.

“Every week, every week, we fight Trixie. Every week, we destroy some ridiculous robot and save the city from certain destruction. Every week, we almost die for the sake of these ponies. And what happens? We do it again the next week. And the week after that. And do you know what? We’ve never even seen Luna in the flesh. We just fight Trixie, all the time. We’re still at their first line of defense. We’re never going to win, BB.”

Bon-Bon desperately tried to find a way to reply, but her partner’s anger was unstoppable, an emotional tidal wave that smothered all thought. Lyra’s suit was incandescent now, bright blue light streaming from her body.

“We’re never going to win. And for that short period every single week where we think that maybe, just maybe, Trixie won’t come back, nopony knows it was us. Everyone just keeps on trotting on, safe and secure knowing that they don’t have to do anything worthwhile with their lives. ‘It’s cool, Harpflank and Sweets will save us!’”

Her voice was quiet now, but determined. She met Bon-Bon’s gaze.

“Well, maybe I don’t want to be Harpflank anymore. Maybe I want to be Lyra. And maybe I want people to know that name.”

She walked towards Trixie, Bon-Bon falling to her haunches as her friend moved further and further away. Lyra reached Trixie’s side and turned to face Bon-Bon again as the caped unicorn smiled in triumph.

“I think I’ve been on the wrong side, BB.”

Bon-Bon could do nothing. She tried to speak, but the shock of Lyra’s betrayal had shut her down completely. She just sat and watched as Trixie pulled a control panel from thin air and pressed a button.

She stared as the ground splintered beneath the two unicorns and an enormous Lunatron began to rise, larger even than that which had been destroyed by the megacello, carrying them upwards.

Her empty gaze followed it upwards as it cast a shadow over the city and a pair of enormous hatches opened on its back, sending a swarm of missiles spiralling into the sky to come crashing down to the abandoned Metropony, explosions tearing through the streets and ripping skyscrapers apart.

Atop the metal colossus, Trixie began to laugh, a rich, full laugh of final triumph. Lyra felt disgusted at Trixie’s delight in destruction, but accepted it nonetheless. As twisted as she had become, Trixie was right. This city was soft, weak. It didn’t understand power, or those that had it. The only way to rebuild the place into something worth protecting was Luna’s Empire. She took one final look at Bon-Bon, a pale cream dot fading into the distance far below, obscured by the smoke of the burning city. For an infinitesimal moment, despite the distance, their eyes met. Lyra whispered something, her words lost in Trixie’s laughter and the sounds of the crumbling metropolis.

“I’m sorry, Bon-Bon. I’m so sorry.”

She turned away, armour shining like a blue star.

[ Credits roll. ]

Coming soon: Episode 38 - Season Finale, Part 2!