Chapter 1- Did You Ever Notice Discord's Beard
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Chapter 1- Did You Ever Notice Discord's Beard
Discord Dances Mad
Chapter 1- Did You Ever Notice Discord's Beard
Thirty-six blue orbs of energy mysteriously appeared and floated around the unsettling statue. They then entered the statue, making it glow blue and shatter. And what was left was the infamous draconequus, Discord.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaawn...my, that was a good nap. Now, what to do...cause chaos again? Defeat the princesses, take over Equestria, and create the chaos capital of the world? Hmm...naaaaaaaaah. Hmm. That was fun to say. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"
Three hours later (somehow no one ever noticed him)
"-aaaaaaaaaah. Okay, back to business. Hmm...what to doooooooo..."
"Wait! Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys! Chocolate rain!"
"Wait, what was that? Hmmm...think, think, think..."
Four hours later (is Canterlot abandoned or something?)
"Oh! I remember! It's that Pinkie Pie! Wielder of the Element of Laughter, master of randomness, and breaker of the fourth wall! Oh, that reminds me- hi there, readers! Anyway, how does Pinkie relate to my problem? Hmmmmmm..."
Two hours later (this joke isn't funny anymore)
Suddenly, Discord became surprisingly serious. "Oh. I- I think I see. Her randomness...her self-awareness...her pinkness...all of these add up to create...um...I don't know..." He then proceeded to create a blackboard, some pink chalk, and a pair of goggles (to look the part). He did the math- and couldn't believe what the answer was. "C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-crush. What is this- I don't even- GEH!"
Meanwhile, at Ponyville's resident bakery, Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville's resident party pony, Pinkie Pie, was holding a party. But what else is new?
"Whee! You'e doing great at the sword chuck, Rainbow!"
"Uh, Pinkie, don't you thing these parties are getting too...dangerous?" Twilight asked.
"Oh, don't be silly! Everything's fi-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" Pinkie had randomly fallen asleep.
And she was in for the show of her life.
When Pinkie Pie woke up, she found herself tied to a chair in a completely black room. Even worse, she couldn't speak or even open her mouth! That hadn't happened since Trixie the magician came to Ponyville for revenge on Twilight (although that time, her mouth disappeared completely). Needless to say, Pinkie was very uncomfortable. And then a familiar figure appeared from the shadows- Discord, spirit of chaos!
"MMMM-MMMM!" Pinkie was torn between surprise, fear, and excitement. Surprise because no one expected Discord to return once, much less twice, fear because she thought Discord might torture her, and excitement because- well, that's self-explanatory.
"Oh?" Discord said. "Aren't you happy to see me, Pinkie Pie?" He then...batted his eyelashes? "Well, I'm sure you'd be happy to see this."
Discord snapped his fingers, causing an organ, some music stands, some drums, and a whole lot of wooden ponies appeared. Discord snapped his other fingers, and the show began.
It started with one of the ponyaquins playing a haunting tune on the organ. Then the ponyaquins at music stands started chanting a scary tune in an unrecognizable language. Then, for about one second, there was no sound. Then a ponyaquin started playing the drums and Discord threw aside the giant sword (did I mention he was holding a giant sword since the song began?) to start dancing. Then, after eight seconds, The organ player resumed. It was all very bizarre, and the whole time Discord was looking with raised eyebrows and lowered eyelids at Pinkie. She didn't know what to make of this.
After a bit, chanters continued and the drummer stopped, starting a very somber tune, as Discord replaced his face with a montage of events. First, there was the Mane Six imprisoning Discord in stone, then Discord being freed again, then Discord "doing the math" (see first chapter), then just Pinkie's head inside a heart. When the chanters ended again and the drummer resumed, Discord gave off a very strange laugh that sounded nothing like him. Then everything faded away, and Pinkie was alone.
Then, she was in Ponyville Hospital. "Oh, thank goodness! I was getting very worried!" It was Fluttershy speaking.
"Uh...what...what happened?" Pinkie asked.
Twilight answered, "You fell asleep two days ago at the party. We were all very worried, but Nurse Redheart insisted that you were just asleep."
Pinkie responded, " Wow...I had the strangest dream..."
"What was it, darling?" Rarity asked.
Pinkie perked up and smiled. "Oh, nothing!" she said cheerfully. But on the inside, she had never been more serious. Was it a dream? And did Discord really feel this way? She got up and left with her friends, hoping that the answers would come...maybe in a later dream.
Eight nights passed. Nothing. Pinkie was disappointed by this; she wanted to learn more about Discord's strange supposed attraction to her. That night, Pinkie climbed into bed again, saying, "Oh well, maybe nine times the charm." She doubted it, though. She brushed the frosting off of her bed (don't ask) and went to sleep. Pinkie really hoped that that was her lucky night, not just because of curiosity, but because- believe it or not- she was becoming smitten with the god of chaos. And lo and behold, that night was her lucky night.
Pinkie found her dream taking place in a gray-toned living room. She was standing at the front door, and in front of a door on the opposite side of the room...guess who. That's right. Discord.
"Greetings, Pinkie Pie. I have another gift for you." He snapped his fingers and twenty-five poison joke flowers appeared in a bouquet floating above Pinkie. "Sorry I couldn't get in touch eariler, but the signal is terrible."
It was time for the questioning. "Uh, Discord, I have some questions."
"Shoot."
"First- how did you get your weird crush on me?"
"Well, I would think that'd be obvious." He flew over to Pinkie. "When I was freed again, I remembered you and realized how much we were alike." He flew around to Pinkie's opposite side. "We're both random...we both break laws of physics...and best of all, you actually enjoyed my chaos! It's no wonder! But I wasn't able to get in your dreams until now...because inside, you weren't open to me."
"Open?! Of course I was open! I wanted to ask you these questions! I was really anxious! How was I not open?!"
"That kind of open...it's not what I meant." He then tapped Pinkie's heart twice. It glowed red. Suddenly Pinkie understood, and she blushed. "I now live in your dreams...the perfect place to hide our relationship." He started moving them both to the door on the room's opposite side. "Come, Pinkie Pie," Discord continued. "We can talk in there." They went in.
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