Legends of the Hidden Temple

by arglefumph

Rating: everyone
Tags: Trixie, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 10247

The Mane Six and other ponies compete on a game show called "Legends of the Hidden Temple".

The Mane Six (and other ponies) compete in fillies' game show called "Legends of the Hidden Temple". It's a competition to see which team can find the hat of Starswirl the Bearded, located inside the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. With your hosts, Olmec and Kirk Trot! This is sure to be an exciting (and educational) experience for all of our pony friends!

Basically, this is a pony version of the early 1990's TV show, Legends of the Hidden Temple.

Published 2013-01-16 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-20 19:10:29 UTC

The Moat

Legends of the Hidden Temple
With Your Guide, Kirk Trot

"Hello everyone, and welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple! As always, I'm your host, Kirk Trot, and with me today is my partner, Olmec."

Kirk Trot smiled at the camera, as he adjusted his adventurous-looking blue jean shirt. Legends of the Hidden Temple was a very popular foals show in Equestria. It focused on ponies who braved dangerous situations, in hopes of finding fabulous treasure. Foals loved it because it was adventurous and exciting, while parents liked the educational content.

"Hello, Kirk!" Olmec said, in a deep voice. Olmec was a large, talking statue whose eyes glowed and whose mouth opened and shut. "I heard you just got back from Ponyville!"

"That I did," Kirk said. "And do you know what I found there? I found thirteen brave ponies, who have agreed to be on our show!"

"Oh ho ho!" Olmec said. "A lucky number, indeed! They might be able to handle the Everfree Forest, but I don't think they're brave enough to enter my temple!"

"For those of you who have never seen this show before, here's how it works," Kirk explained. "We have six teams that are going to be competing today, to win the right to go inside Olmec's Temple and collect the fabulous treasure. And heeeeere are the contestants now!"

Everypony in the live studio audience applauded, as the various teams came onstage. Each team had matching shirts, with their team logo.

"First up is our unicorn team, the Purple Parrots!" Kirk said. "Featuring Rarity and Twilight Sparkle!"

"There's no way we can lose!" Twilight said.

"Of course not!" Rarity said. Then, in a smaller voice, she added, "I just hope all this adventuring doesn't mess up my mane. I don't want to look bad on TV."

"Second is our pegasus team, the Blue Barracudas!" Kirk said. "Please welcome Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy!"

Rainbow Dash proudly flew onstage and did a loop-de-loop to impress the viewers. Fluttershy had to be pushed onstage.

"This is so awesome!" Rainbow Dash said. Signing up everypony for the show had been her idea.

"I...I don't like being in front of the cameras..." Fluttershy moaned.

"That's two pegasi and two unicorns, which means it's time for two Earth ponies!" Kirk said. "Here are the Orange Iguanas, Applejack and Pinkie Pie!"

"Howdy, y'all!" Applejack said.

Pinkie bounced up and down. "Hi, Mom!" she said.

"Next is the Red Jaguars!" Kirk said. "They're a group of three fillies who call themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo all ran onstage. "Cutie Mark Crusaders TV Stars!" they shouted.

"But next are their rivals, the Silver Snakes!" Kirk said. "Here come two Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon!"

"We're going to get that treasure!" Diamond Tiara said.

"Or at least, we'll do better than everypony else!" Silver Spoon said.

"The final team is the Green Monkeys!" Kirk said. "They never make it past Round One, but we're glad to have them here, anyway! Say hello to our returning contestants, the Great and Powerful Trixie, and Spike the Dragon!"

"Well, here we go again," Spike said in a dejected voice.

"Do not worry," Trixie said. "Our previous attempts resulted in failure, but Trixie will ensure we win the game this time."

"That's what you said the last four episodes," Spike muttered.

"It is not Trixie's fault that you have stubby little legs!" Trixie snapped.

"Now that we've met our teams, it's time to get started," Kirk said. "As you can see here, we have the deep and frightening Moat of Terror!"

The Moat of Terror was really just a swimming pool, but some fog machines and swamp decorations prevented ponies from seeing this. There were a series of ropes, running from one edge of the swamp, to the other.

"On my mark, the six teams will cross the moat," Kirk said. "Here's the catch, though. They must walk across, using the ropes to help keep their balance. If anypony falls into the moat, they have to swim back to the start and try again. Once both members of a team cross, they need to hit the button together to go on to the next round!"

"Piece of cake!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Cake, where?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Only the first four teams who make it across will win," Kirk said. "So do your best, everypony! On my mark...get set...GO!"

Music started playing, as Kirk tried his best to give a running commentary of the competition. There wasn't much to say besides, "All the teams are walking on the ropes", but he tried to make it sound exciting, anyway.

"First across is Rainbow Dash!" Kirk said. "She practically flew across the ropes! Her partner doesn't seem to be moving quite as quickly, though. Oh, and Twilight Sparkle is now halfway across, with her partner close behind. The Cutie Mark Crusaders are showing excellent teamwork, and...yes! They're the first team to make it across!"

A gong sounded, as the Cutie Mark Crusaders hit the button. They cheered, while Rainbow Dash groaned at losing first place. "Fluttershy, hurry up!" she said.

"I...I'm scared," Fluttershy said.

"And the next team across is the unicorn team!" Kirk said. "Only two more teams can make it to the next round! The Pegasus team is having problems, the Earth ponies look like they're about halfway done...and the Green Monkeys haven't even started yet."

"Trixie should go first!" Trixie said, shoving Spike out of the way.

"No, me!" Spike said. "You're too slow, and besides, you're loads heavier than I am!"

"Are you calling Trixie fat?" Trixie asked. "You're the chubby one, dragon!"

"Hey, I've been exercising lately!" Spike said.

"Exercising your jaw, eating food!" Trixie countered.

The Silver Snakes weren't much better. Silver Spoon accidently bumped into Diamond Tiara from behind, almost knocking them in the water.

"Watch it!" Diamond Tiara said.

"I'm just trying to get us across faster!" Silver Spoon said. "Do you want us to lose?"

"I don't want to fall into the swamp!" Diamond Tiara said.

Pinkie Pie laughed. "It's not really a swamp!" she said. "It's just a swimming pool! See, look!"

She jumped into the water and did a huge cannonball, which splashed the two fillies. "Augh!" Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon cried.

"Pinkie!" Applejack said. "What in tarnation did you do that for?"

"Pinkie Pie falls in, which means she has to start over!" Kirk said. "Meanwhile, Fluttershy is slowly heading across the ropes, and the filly team is almost there! This race is going to be a close one! It's incredibly exciting! Everypony is trying hard, except for the Green Monkeys, who still haven't started yet."

Trixie had a firm grip on Spike's tail, and she used it to poke him in the belly. "Chubby! Chubby! Chubby!" Trixie said.

"Heh-heh-hey!" Spike said, trying not to laugh. "That tickles! Cut it out!"

"You want Trixie to stop?" Trixie asked. "Not a chance!" She slapped Spike's belly with her free hoof, causing Spike to choke in pain. His mouth opened wide, and a green flame came out. Trixie's hair immediately caught fire.

"My hair!" Trixie cried. "AAAAA!" She dived head-first into the swimming pool.

By this time, Rainbow Dash had managed to encourage Fluttershy to get across, and their team was the fourth to ring their bell, seconds after the filly team.

"And that is it!" Kirk said. "That is the end of Round One! Both the teams who had a member fall into the moat ended up losing today!"

"I didn't fall," Pinkie Pie said. "I jumped in!"

Applejack shook her head. "Ah knew I should have asked Big Mac to be on mah team," she moaned.

"But it's okay, because you're not going home with empty hooves!" Kirk said. He gathered the four losing contestants together, in front of the moat. The camera zoomed in on Spike and Trixie, who were giving each other dirty looks.

"Green Monkeys!" Kirk said. "So sorry, but once again, you lost in the first round. But that's okay, because you're going home with this consolation prize!"

"It's...a stick of gum!" Olmec said. "Nice and minty, perfect for times when you want to chew on something fresh!"

Spike happily took his stick of gum, while Trixie started muttering unkind things about the cheap sponsors. "They don't even pony up the money for a decent prize," she said, as she took the gum. As she turned to leave, she purposely tossed her long wet hair over her shoulder, so it would smack Kirk in the face.

"Ouch!" Kirk said. He rubbed his head, then stepped over to the Earth ponies. "And our other losers, the Orange Iguanas. Tough luck on the rope challenge, huh?"

"We would have gotten across fine, if somepony hadn't jumped in the water like a big silly filly!" Applejack said.

"Did you see how big a splash I made?" Pinkie said. "It was awesome!"

"Olmec, tell them what they've won," Kirk said.

"Your prize is...A NEW CART!" Olmec shouted. "It's the two-wheel express cart, from Mustang Motors! Perfect for carrying a heavy load of apples to the farmers' market, or for delivering heavy cakes to cooking competitions! These carts are an Earth pony's dream, and we've got one for each for you!"

"Just what I need!" Pinkie Pie and Applejack both said.

The Great and Powerful Trixie started seething. "They get carts, while we get GUM?" she shouted. "What the bu—"

Suddenly, the show cut to commercial, cutting Trixie off.

Author's Note

People have been wondering if I split the teams up, according to who will win. Apparently, on the actual TV show, the Purple Parrots won three times (2.5%), the Orange Iguanas and Red Jaguars won four times (3.3%), the Blue Barracudas won five times (4.1%), and the Silver Snakes and Green Monkeys won eight times (6.6%). All together, there were 32 victories over 120 episodes, which is about 26% or one-fourth of the time.

I'm not sure I believe those statistics. I do not remember ANY team winning on this game show. I remember some teams getting the artifact, but then losing and running out of time.

I have no idea how they picked teams on the actual show. As for this story, I split the ponies up into teams, based on color. Twilight is purple, so she's in the Purple Parrots. The blue Rainbow Dash is on the Blue Barracudas, Silver Spoon is on the Silver Snakes, and orange-coated Applejack is on the Orange Iguanas. It's a bit of a stretch to say Spike's green spikes make him a Green Monkey, but that was the only thing that kind of fit, which left the Cutie Mark Crusaders as the Red Jaguars.

Steps of Knowledge

When the show returned, Kirk Trot was standing next to his best friend, Olmec. Sure, Olmec was a giant talking head, which made for an unconventional relationship, but they were still best friends forever. Kirk loved Olmec more than anypony else, besides his wife and family.

In a way, it was kind of sad. Kirk and Olmec were such good friends, yet they never spent any time together outside of the show. That was Olmec's fault. Since he was a giant talking head, he had a hard time going places and maintaining a social life. Kirk was always trying to convince Olmec to loosen up, have some fun, maybe meet some nice female giant talking heads, but it never worked.

In reality, Olmec was a simple machine, operated by one of the unicorns backstage. Poor Kirk had no idea this was the case; he believed that Olmec really was a magical talking statue. Stranger things have happened in Equestria.

"I'm telling you, Olmec, we need to have a Dudes' Night Out together!" Kirk said. "I know you don't like to leave the TV studio, but you have to—"

"Kirk, the cameras are back on," Olmec said.

"The cameras what?" Kirk asked. He noticed the red recording light coming off of the main camera, so he turned towards it and smiled.

"Welcome back to Legends of the Hidden Temple," Kirk said. "I'm your host, Kirk Trot, and today we have four teams that are competing for the chance to go inside Olmec's Temple."

"Question!" one of the nine contestants said. Kirk turned to look at her.

"Yes...Twilight?" Kirk said, after momentarily blanking on the name of the lavender pony.

"Why is it called Legends of the Hidden Temple?" Twilight asked. "Olmec's temple isn't hidden. I can see it right there. He's not exactly inconspicuous."

"Ah," Kirk said. "Well, the temple itself might not be hidden, but a long-lost treasure is hidden inside the temple! Olmec, what is the treasure that you have today?"

"Today's artifact is...the hat of Starswirl the Bearded!" Olmec said.

"AAAAAA!" Twilight Sparkle squealed.

"And now we're going to start Round Two of our competition," Kirk said. "As all of you have noticed by now, you are standing on the Steps of Knowledge. In order to proceed to the next round, you must correctly answer three of Olmec's questions. To answer a question, you must stomp your hoof on the panel in front of you, and—"

Twilight slammed her hooves down on the step below here, causing an electronic sound.

*BEEP!*

"Yes, Twilight?" Kirk asked. He was getting a tad annoyed by Twilight's interruptions, but he kept smiling as if he was happy. "Is something wrong?"

"I want to answer a question," she said.

"I'm afraid nopony can answer questions yet," Kirk said. "You have to wait for Olmec to tell the story."

"What story?" Twilight asked.

"The story of Starswirl the Bearded's Hat, of course!" Kirk said. "Olmec, please tell us about today's legend!"

"Very well," Olmec said, preparing for the show's educational segment. "Today's legend is the hat of Starswirl the Bearded. Starswirl was a famous unicorn magician, best known for inventing the sing-along spell."

Twilight slammed her hooves on the buzzer in front of her.

*BEEP!*

"That's not correct!" Twilight interrupted. "The basic idea of the sing-along spell was invented by Aristrotle in 432 B.C. (Before Celestia). Starswirl just modified the original theories and created a working version of the spell!"

Kirk explained to Twilight that this was a show for fillies, so sometimes they adjusted the facts slightly, to make them easier to understand. More importantly, he explained that if she interrupted the show yet again, she would be kicked out.

"When he turned thirty-five, Starswirl began to grow bald," Olmec said, continuing the story. "His students at the magical university started to call him 'Starswirl the Bald-Headed'. He didn't like that nickname, so he bought a fancy hat in order to cover his bald spot. That worked for a few years, until somepony stole his hat.

"Starswirl couldn't afford to buy a second hat on his teacher's salary, so he invented a few time-travelling spells that would allow him to grow a beard overnight. He then shaved his beard and used it as a toupee. He liked the beard, though, so he decided to keep it. And that's how he got the nickname 'Starswirl the Bearded'!"

Twilight couldn't hold it in anymore, and she slammed the buzzer with all her might. "That is NOT accurate!" she said. "He grew his beard in order to help him get a marefriend! And if I was alive then, I would have dated him! He was handsome!"

"So that's why she dressed up like that stallion last Nightmare Night..." Rainbow Dash said.

"That's it, Twilight!" Kirk said. "I warned you not to interrupt again! You are now officially disqualified!"

"Whaaaat?!" Twilight asked.

"Twilight Sparkle has been disqualified," Kirk said, looking directly at the camera. Behind him, buff security guards dragged Twilight Sparkle offstage. The whole time, she was kicking and screaming about how much she loved Starswirl.

"Uh...Kirk?" Rarity asked. "I hate to be a bother, but...what do I do, now that you've disqualified my teammate?"

"I'm sorry, Rarity, but the rules say we can't have a one-pony team," Kirk said. "Unless you can find somepony else to join you on the unicorn team, you're disqualified, too."

"I can switch teams to be with my sister," Sweetie Belle offered.

"No, wait!" a voice shouted.

There was the flutter of a cape as the Great and Powerful Trixie dashed onstage. "Trixie will join the unicorn team," she said.

"That's not fair!" Sweetie Belle said.

"I'll tell you what's not fair!" Diamond Tiara said. "Why does the blank flank team have three members, when all the other teams have two?"

"Yeah!" Silver Spoon said. "And how come we have to play against a bunch of grown-ups?"

Kirk tightened his lips. Normally, Legends of the Hidden Temple only had contestants who were ages eleven through fourteen. But after an extremely popular episode of Family Double Dare, in which the Apple Family took home the big prize, the network heads decided they needed to get the Elements of Harmony on all their TV shows. That meant Rainbow Dash competing in Guts, Pinkie Pie guest starring on All That, and of course, Princess Luna winning a game of Nick Arcade.

That was why all the Elements of Harmony were currently on Legends of the Hidden Temple, even thought they were much older than the other competitors. The all-knowing network heads thought it would be good for ratings, so they made it happen.

Speaking of the network heads, the producer who had a minor crush on Trixie was telling the judges that she had to be allowed to join the Purple Parrots.

"But she already lost the game today!" a judge protested. "Besides, she's been on four episodes already!"

"I don't care!" the producer said. "I think she's pretty, and—uh, I mean, the viewers think she's pretty, and they want MORE TRIXIE! Let her compete!"

The judges sent a messenger to tell Kirk the news. Kirk nodded when he heard.

"It seems the judges have made a decision," Kirk said. "Trixie will now join the Purple Parrots, replacing Twilight Sparkle. Sorry for the brief interruption, everypony! Let's get back to Olmec's legend."

"...I forget where I was in the story," Olmec said.

"Something about a hat," Kirk said.

"Oh, right," Olmec said. "Starswirl's hat went missing...blah blah blah...he was briefly married to a rock named Charlene...blah blah blah...and he died from horn cancer. The end."

"Okay, so that's the legend of Starswirl the Bearded's hat," Kirk said. "The long-lost hat is currently resting inside Olmec's Temple, in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. But before anypony can get to it, you need to correctly answer three questions about the legend. Let's start with the Steps of Knowledge!"

"Question Number One," Olmec said. "Starswirl the Bearded had what kind of facial hair?"

Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Applebloom all moved to hit their buzzers at the same time, but since Rainbow Dash is the fastest pegasus in all of Equestria, she hit her buzzer first. "A beard!" she shouted.

"That is correct!" Olmec said. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy went down a level.

"Question Two," Olmec said. "Where did Starswirl keep his hat?"

Again, Rainbow Dash was first to the buzzer. "On top of his head!" she said.

"That is correct!" Olmec said. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy went down another level.

"It looks like the Blue Barracudas are only one question away from winning this round!" Kirk said. "Olmec, next question!"

"Starswirl's name begins with what letter?" Olmec asked.

Rainbow Dash slammed on the buzzer. "S!" she shouted.

"And the Blue Barracudas have done it!" Kirk said. "Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash have answered three questions, which means they are making it to the next round! Congratulations!"

"Oh yeah!" Rainbow Dash cheered. "We did it! We're awesome!"

"Um...those questions have nothing to do with the story Olmec told..." Fluttershy said, voicing a common criticism of the Steps of Knowledge challenge.

"But this spells out trouble for our other three teams," Kirk said. "Remember, only one of you can make it to the next round. So use your thinking caps and answer questions correctly!"

"What decoration did Starswirl have on his hat?" Olmec asked. "Was it a) corkscrews b) bells or c) friendship bracelets?"

Now that Rainbow Dash was out of the running, the other ponies had a chance of answering. All three teams hit the buzzer around the same time.

"The judges are saying that Trixie was first," Kirk said. "Trixie, what's your answer?"

"Trixie is going with friendship bracelets," Trixie bragged. "That's obviously the answer, because friendship is magic."

"I'm sorry, that is incorrect," Olmec said.

"Fr-friendship isn't magic?" Applebloom asked, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Impossible!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Maybe he's just saying that, because Trixie doesn't have any friends!" Scootaloo suggested.

"How dare you?" Trixie asked. "Trixie has friends! She has lots of friends! They just couldn't be here today!"

"I'm the Element of Generosity, and even I can't give you that one," Rarity said. "Weren't you bragging earlier about how you don't need friends?"

"Don't make Trixie ruin your hair again!" Trixie threatened.

"Pssst! This is our chance!" Diamond Tiara said. She and Silver Spoon jumped down two levels, while everypony was arguing.

It took Kirk a while to sort out the argument and explain what Olmec meant. Eventually, he got the Cutie Mark Crusaders and the unicorn team to calm down, but not before Rarity had trampled on top of Trixie's hat.

"Okay, are we good to continue the game?" Kirk asked. Everypony nodded. "Great, so the Silver Snakes are one question away from victory. Can the other two teams catch up?"

"Hey!" Applebloom protested. "When did Diamond Tiara's team get so far ahead?"

"We answered two questions while you were busy fighting, Blank Flank!" Diamond Tiara said.

"Hey, maybe you'll get your cutie marks in going home early!" Silver Spoon suggested.

"They must have cheated!" Scootaloo said.

"Don't worry, we'll stop them!" Sweetie Belle said.

"The next question," Olmec said. "Starswirl the Bearded was a professor at—"

Silver Spoon slammed her buzzer. "A magical university!" she said.

"That is not the correct answer to the question," Olmec said.

"What are you doing?" Diamond Tiara hissed. "You didn't let him finish the question!"

"Sorry, I thought I knew it," Silver Spoon said.

Olmec repeated his question. "Starswirl the Bearded was a professor at a magical university. What subject do they teach at these schools?"

It was a tie, as both teams hit their buzzers and shouted, "MAGIC!" at the same time. Since the Cutie Mark Crusaders were a lot louder than Rarity and Trixie, they got the point.

"The next question," Olmec said. "What did Starswirl first use his beard for?"

Rarity was first on the buzzer. "To make himself more attractive!" she said. "Celestia knows why he thought that would work, though."

"I'm sorry, that is incorrect," Olmec said. It was correct according to Twilight Sparkle, but not according to Olmec's story.

Silver Spoon hit the buzzer, not because she knew the answer, but because she didn't want the Cutie Mark Crusaders to answer.

"Silver Snakes, why did Starswirl grow a beard?" Kirk asked, repeating the question.

"Um..." Silver Spoon said.

"If you get this one wrong, you're going to pay," Diamond Tiara said threateningly.

"To pay?" Olmec said. "I'm sorry, that is incorrect."

Scootaloo hit the buzzer. "He used his beard as a toupee!" she said.

"Toupee! That is correct!" Olmec said.

Diamond Tiara groaned in pain as the Cutie Mark Crusaders went down another level.

"This is interesting!" Kirk said. "Both the filly teams are tied for first. Only one more question lies between them and victory. Which team will win?"

Olmec said the next question, which was one of the unfair questions they put into the game, just so Twilight Sparkle would be able to get a point. "Starswirl's theories on magical instability were modified in the year 1092, thanks to what groundbreaking magical theorem?"

There was a brief moment of silence, as everyone took in the question. Then Trixie shouted "Hyperbian's Interpretation of Ontological Necessities!"

"Correct!" Olmec said.

Everypony looked impressed with her. Rarity just looked at Trixie, stunned that the showoff mare was versed in magical history.

"What?" Trixie asked haughtily. "Trixie is a magician. She needs to know these things."

"Next question," Olmec said.

"Hold on a second, Olmec," Kirk said. "Trixie, that is the correct answer, but you forgot to hit the buzzer."

Sweetie Belle quickly slammed onto the buzzer. "The answer is the magical theory of...uh...what Trixie said!"

"Correct!" Olmec said.

Trixie's loud swearing was drowned out by louder victory music, as Kirk stepped towards the two winning teams. "You did it!" he said. "Your teams both answered three questions, which means you have completed the Steps of Knowledge!"

"Yay!" cheered the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"How did—how did we lose to a bunch of blank flanks?!" Diamond Tiara demanded angrily.

"Nice job, kids," Rainbow Dash said. "Of course, you don't stand a chance against us as your opponents, right, Fluttershy?"

"Um...yes, we're going to, uh, defeat you," Fluttershy said. "If you don't mind, that is..."

"So the Red Jaguars and Blue Barracudas will be facing off against each other in the Temple Games," Kirk said. "But before then, let's award prizes to our unlucky losers."

Kirk went over to the Purple Parrots. "First, our unicorn team," he said. "Well, Trixie, it looks like once again, you came in last place, after the two filly teams."

"Trixie was being generous," Trixie said. "This is a show for fillies, after all. It'd be unfair if Trixie didn't let them win."

"You lost on purpose?" Kirk asked. "It kind of looked like you lost, because you're a failure."

"Trixie is not a failure!" Trixie cried. "Why does everypony keep saying that?!"

"We have two prizes to give to your team," Kirk said. "Rarity, you get a fine set of Glory-All Shampoo and Conditioner!"

"Yay!" Rarity said, clapping her hooves in a dignified manner.

"What a horrible prize!" Trixie criticized.

"How could you dislike Glory All?" Rarity asked, aghast. "It's my favorite conditioner!"

"That's because you have curly hair," Trixie said. "It doesn't work for hair like Trixie's."

"And Trixie, your prize—which was definitely not originally intended for Twilight Sparkle—is..." Kirk said. "What is it, Olmec?"

"It's a bookmark!" Olmec said. "Made from the lowest-quality paper we could find, this bookmark will be perfect for use during your all-night study sessions!"

Trixie wasn't paying attention to the in-show commercial; she and Rarity were swapping beauty tips.

"But if I did that, then there'd be a glare from the spotlights," Trixie said.

"Hmmm..." Rarity said. "Maybe if you darkened the edges of your hair, then..."

"Actually, it looks best when I put my hair up," Trixie said. "But when I do that, I can't put on my magician's hat! Very frustrating."

"Uh...you two have fun talking with each other," Kirk said. He left the two unicorns and went over to the filly team. "Silver Snakes, you were so close to victory there," he said. "What went wrong?"

"She put too much pressure on me!" Silver Spoon said.

"Things went wrong the moment they named the team after her instead of me," Diamond Tiara said.

"Whatever," Silver Spoon said. "What do we win?"

"Your prize is...Cutie Mark Stickers!" Kirk said. "These temporary tattoos can be used to make it look like you have a real cutie mark! Have an adult help you put one on, then impress the world!"

Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara started yelling at each other, about how they didn't need fake cutie marks. Meanwhile, Kirk smiled happily at the camera.

"We're halfway through today's episode!" he said. "The original six teams have been brought down to two. Who will make it successfully through the temple games? Who will gain the right to enter Olmec's temple and get Starswirl the Bearded's hat? Stay tuned!"

The Temple Games

Kirk and Olmec were shooting the breeze, during the commercial break.

"But seriously, Olmec," Kirk said. "This is what, our ninetieth episode? Have any contestants ever made it all the way through the temple?"

"I don't think so," Olmec said. "Half of them get eliminated by the temple guards before they even reach the artifact."

"I know," Kirk said. "Remember the one time we put temple guards in the first three rooms, so it was literally impossible to win?"

"That was crazy," Olmec said. "My favorite was when somepony accidentally dropped the artifact down the slide, then tried to leave the temple without it."

"Classic," Kirk said. "The thing that surprises me is how many teams get stuck on the Pit and the Pendulum room. Seriously? I know it's tricky to climb up the walls there, but it's the second room of the temple! You can't waste a whole minute on one room!"

"I think if you spend more than twenty seconds in any particular room, you're practically guaranteed to lose," Olmec said.

"Oh, yeah," Kirk said. "And if one of the team members gets eliminated? Forget it. The other team member never catches up in time."

Olmec sighed happily. "This show is so much fun," he said. "I just hope it doesn't get cancelled and replaced with something boring like a celebrity guessing game."

"That would be the worst," Kirk agreed.

"You two?" one of the cameraponies said. "We're going back on the air soon."

"Right, right," Kirk said. He ran a hoof through his hair and smiled at the camera.

"Three...two...one...go!" the director said.

"Hello everypony, and welcome back to Legends of the Hidden Temple," Kirk said. "My good buddy Olmec here has the hat of Starswirl the Bearded inside his temple. And where is it, Olmec?"

"The hat of Starswirl the Bearded can be found in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey," Olmec said.

"A very dangerous and tricky room," Kirk said. "We have two teams left, but only one of them will get the chance to enter Olmec's Temple. And how do we decide which team goes inside the temple?"

"The team who wins the most pendants in the temple games continues on to the next round," Olmec said.

"Exactly!" Kirk said. He strolled over to the teams and placed himself in between Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. "This is the part of the show where we waste a bunch of time—oops! I mean, this is the part of the show where we get to know our contestants! Blue Barracudas, how are you doing?"

"We're doing great, Kirk," Rainbow Dash said.

"So Rainbow, they tell me that you are a fan of the Wonderbolts. Is this true?" Kirk asked.

"Definitely," Rainbow Dash said. "I love seeing their awesome flying moves!"

Kirk slipped his arm around Fluttershy's shoulder, as if the two of them were best friends, not ponies who had first met ten minutes ago. "And Fluttershy, I understand that you're good with animals!"

"Um...yes..." Fluttershy said.

"Tell us a little bit more!" Kirk said.

"Um...I have a bunny...rabbit?" Fluttershy offered.

"Fascinating!" Kirk said. "Let's move on to the other team, the Red Jaguars!"

Kirk made his way to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. He held the microphone towards Sweetie Belle's mouth. "Sweetie Belle, I'm told that the three of you all attend the same school, correct?"

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle said.

"And is that where you all met?" Kirk asked.

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Do you like it at your school?" Kirk asked.

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Uh...moving on! To Applebloom!" Kirk said. "You're the youngest of a family of three."

"Yup!" Applebloom said. "Big Macintosh is mah brother, and Applejack's mah big sister!"

"Applejack was one of the Orange Iguanas who lost in the first round," Kirk said. "Tell me, did you expect that your team would get farther than your sister's?"

"Not really," Applebloom said. "But Ah knew we'd get pretty far! Me and mah friends work hard at everything!"

"That's great," Kirk said. "Do you get along with your big sister?"

"Most of the time," Applebloom said. "Ah don't like it when she makes me go to bed early!"

"I don't think anypony likes going to bed early!" Kirk laughed. "And finally, Scootaloo. Do you like scooters?"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo said. "I have one at home, that I do all sorts of tricks on!"

"You're always careful to wear a helmet and other protective gear, right?" Kirk said.

"Yeah!" Scootaloo said.

"That's great!" Kirk said. "Remember, fillies, adventuring is fun, but don't forget to use proper safety! And never be afraid to ask an adult for help!"

"Legends of the Hidden Temple is not responsible for any injuries that may occur if you break into an ancient temple," Olmec said, hoping to prevent potential lawsuits.

"Now that we know our teams, let's get started with the Temple Games round," Kirk said. "There are three challenges here, all of them dealing with today's legend of Starswirl the Bearded. The first challenge is going to be Rainbow Dash versus Scootaloo, in the star toss."

The audience applauded as Kirk led the two contestants to their area. There were two large black canvases, one for each pony. In front of each canvas was a hollow tube about six feet long, which served as a tunnel.

"Here's how the game works," Kirk said. He pulled out a bucket full of sticky, star-shaped items, and he placed it on the ground. "You're going to crawl through the tunnel and pick a star out of this bucket. Then you have to crawl back through the tunnel, and throw the star onto the canvas. The team with the most stars on their board at the end of a minute wins the challenge. Are you ready?"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash cried.

"Okay, let's put a minute on the clock," Kirk said. "And...GO!"

Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo dove into their respective tunnels. The tunnel was filly-sized, so Rainbow Dash had a little trouble fitting inside. After about six seconds of trying to power-fly her way through, Rainbow Dash realized that the only way she could fit was if she tucked her wings on her sides.

"And Scootaloo is the first to get a star!" Kirk said, providing live commentary. "She's crawling back through the tunnel—it's not easy to crawl and hold the star at the same time. And Rainbow Dash is halfway through her tunnel, and getting close to the end! I can see her head sticking out—and Scootaloo's out on her side, too! She throws it, and—oh, no! She didn't throw it hard enough, and she missed the canvas! Quick, Scootaloo, get another star! Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash has her first star, and she's crawling back through the tunnel! I'd say she's past halfway there—but Scootaloo's not far behind! She's picked up another star, and Rainbow's out! All right, perfect throw, Rainbow! That's one point for Rainbow Dash, no points for Scootaloo—no, wait! A great throw by Scootaloo ties it up! Scootaloo dashes back into the tunnel, as Rainbow Dash does the same thing! It's neck and neck here! They both grab their stars, and head back—come on, come on, not much time left—Scootaloo is out first, she throws her star and—"

*Bwooooomp!*

A loud horn sounded, signifying the end of round.

"And Scootaloo wins, with a throw at the last second!" Kirk said. "What an amazing competition! Good job, both of you!"
Rainbow Dash felt that she was cheated out of victory by the too-small tunnel, and she probably would have complained about it, except that would make her look like a sore loser on national TV.

"That was fun!" Scootaloo said.

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash said, giving her a pat on the back. "Good job, Scoots."

Kirk handed Scootaloo her prize: a half pendant. "Our next competition is going to be between Fluttershy and Sweetie Belle," he said. "I've heard that both of you are good at singing, so you should love this. It's the musical note challenge!"

The audience cheered as Kirk led the two contestants to a board which contained a musical staff. Sixteen of the notes were missing. "As we learned in Olmec's fascinating story, Starswirl the Bearded invented the Sing-Along Spell," Kirk said. "So your goal is to take the musical notes and match them to their spots on your board!"

"Um, excuse me," Fluttershy said. "But I don't see any notes here."

"That's because the notes are on the top of...the Tree of Doom!" Kirk said dramatically. He gestured towards a climbing wall, which was painted like a tree. The notes were taped to the top of the wall. Half the notes were red for the Red Jaguars, and half of them were blue for the Blue Barracudas.

"You want to climb up the tree and get a note, then climb back down and put it on your board," Kirk explained, as Fluttershy and Scootaloo were strapped into some climbing equipment. "Whoever gets the most notes correct by the end of a minute wins the challenge!"

"Oh...but I don't like heights..." Fluttershy said.

"Me neither," Sweetie Belle said, looking up at the climbing wall. From this angle, it seemed extremely high to her, even though it was only seven feet high.

"And GO!" Kirk said. Adventurous music started playing, and Kirk started his world-famous live commentary. "They're climbing up the walls! They're working really hard! They're putting their hooves into the holes and climbing upwards—Sweetie Belle has a note! She's climbing down now—Sweetie, you can rappel, you don't have to climb—Fluttershy has a note, but it looks like she's stuck—Sweetie's at the bottom now, she puts her note on the board—Fluttershy is pretty far behind at this point! Hurry up, Fluttershy!—Sweetie Belle is scrambling back up—"

"Fluttershy, get a move on!" Rainbow Dash shouted, as Fluttershy slowly climbed down the wall.

"But I'm scared of falling!" Fluttershy moaned.

"You're a pegasus! You can fly!" Dash pointed out.

"Oh! Right!" Fluttershy said. She spread out her wings and flew down to the ground. She put her note on the board and flew back up to the top of the tree.

"And Fluttershy is back in the competition! She's really zooming now, but can she make up for lost time? Sweetie Belle grabs a second note and climbs down, quickly followed by Fluttershy. Fluttershy beats her down to the ground, and flies back up to get a third note—Sweetie puts her second note on the board—Fluttershy grabs her third note—Sweetie needs to catch up now—she's working very hard, and Fluttershy—"

*Bwooooomp!*

A loud horn sounded, signifying the end of round.

"Oh, just in time!" Kirk said. "Fluttershy gets her third note on the board at the last second, gaining her the victory! Congratulations to the Blue Barracudas! As a reward, you get a half pendant!"

"I did it!" Fluttershy said.

"Yay!" Rainbow Dash cheered. "You rock! Woo hoo!"

"So now our teams are tied, with a half pendant apiece," Kirk said. "Time for our third and final challenge! This is the trickiest one of all, and whoever wins this one gets a full pendant! Whoever doesn't win is going home! Olmec, tell us about this game!"

"This is the beard creation challenge," Olmec said. "One team member will get inside a boat, and when Kirk gives the signal, you will pull yourself to the other side of the room, using the rope. There, you have to take wigs out of the wig bucket and throw them to your partner. Your partner will tie the wigs together to form a beard, then she has to attach the beard to the statue of Starswirl on the far side of the room. The first team to get a proper beard on their statue wins the pendant of life."

"I'm not sure it can get more exciting than this!" Kirk said. "Let's get that minute timer on the clock and...go!"

The first pair of contestants were Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo. They were both seated in small boats with wheels on the bottom. On Kirk's signal, they both picked up the ropes on the ground, next to their boats. Rainbow pulled on the rope as fast as she could, and she used her wings to help push her along. She got across the room twice as quickly as Scootaloo and started throwing the wigs at Fluttershy.

Fluttershy did her best to catch the wigs. "Ow, not so hard!" she said, as one of them smacked her in the eyes.

By this time, Scootaloo had caught up. She started throwing the wigs to Applebloom, who immediately began trying the stringed ends of the wigs together. Fluttershy didn't start tying the wigs together until she had all five wigs, but thanks to her freaky knowledge of sewing, she was able to make better and faster knots than Applebloom.

The final leg of the challenge was the race to the statue. Sweetie Belle ran for her time, while Rainbow Dash for hers. While Sweetie Belle ran pretty fast, there was no way she could have outrun Rainbow Dash, especially considering that Dash had a few seconds' head start.

"The Blue Barracudas win!" Kirk said. "Even though their team had fewer members, they managed to pull off a victory in thirty-seven seconds! Congratulations, Blue Barracudas!"

Rainbow Dash jumped up and down like crazy, while Fluttershy smiled, embarrassed to be the center of attention.

Kirk walked over to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. "Red Jaguars, you did very well today," Kirk said. "And we're not letting you go away empty-hoofed. Here's your prize."

"The Red Jaguars get a free copy of Daring Do and the Legend of the Hidden Temple!" Olmec said. "Based on our TV show, you can now read about Daring Do's newest exciting adventures. Can she get past the temple guards and find the hidden Olmec head? The only way to find out is by reading this book today!"

The audience and the CMCs cheered, as they each received a complimentary copy of the book. Rainbow Dash looked on jealously.

"Is it too late for us to lose the challenge and get that book?" she asked Fluttershy.

"Um..." Fluttershy said.

"So there we have it!" Kirk said. "We've only got one team left, the high flying pegasus team! They've got one and a half pendants, and when we come back after the break, they're going to inside Olmec's temple to see if they can get the hat of Starswirl the Bearded out of the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! Stay tuned!"

Author's Note

Challenge: Watch an episode of Legends on Youtube. Instead of watching a Temple Games challenge, just listen to Kirk's commentary. Then, guess how the game is supposed to be played, based on what he says.

The Temple Run

All the losing contestants were gathered inside the green room, where they watched what was happening on a TV.

"Do you think they'll win?" Twilight Sparkle asked.

"Rainbow Dash is the coolest!" Scootaloo said. "Of course she's going to win!"

From the corner (where she was braiding Trixie's hair), Rarity asked, "What if they decide to send Fluttershy into the temple first?"

"Hmmm..." the ponies thought.

Fluttershy grit her teeth and braced herself. The instant the gate was lowered, she charged into the temple, letting out a scream of rage that would throw fear into the hearts of bears and minotaurs. Wings working at full power, she burst into the first room of the temple.

She immediately ran into a stagehoof, wearing a silly costume and dancing around.

"Oh no, that's a temple guard!" Kirk said. "You have to give him your pendant!"

Fluttershy's bottom lip quivered.

And trembled.

Then her mouth opened wide.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Flutterhsy screamed.

"Don't worry, he won't hurt you," Kirk said. "He just wants your pendant!"

"AAAAAA! AAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAA!"

"The pendant—"

"AAAUUUGAAARAA! AAAUUUGAAARAA! MOMMMMMMY!"

Kirk and Rainbow Dash stared at each other for a moment, as Fluttershy kept screaming incomprehensibly. The stagehoof tried to calm her down, but that only made her scream louder.

"Should I go in now?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yes," Kirk said. "Yes, I think that would be best."

"I'm pretty sure they'll pick Rainbow Dash to do the temple run," Twilight said.

"That would make the most sense," Applejack said.

"Shhhh!" Pinkie Pie said, pointing to the TV. "It's starting!"

"Welcome back to Legends," Kirk Trot said. "Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy have proven themselves worthy and now have earned the right to enter Olmec's temple. But before we get started, Olmec's going to give them some information to help them retrieve the lost hat of Starswirl the Bearded."

Dra

as Olmec gave his usual monologue for the Temple Run. As fans of the show knew, his temple was made up of twelve rooms, each room containing a challenge. The players entered the temple through the rightmost room; the artifact that they were looking for was usually on the left or in the middle.

"You could start, by running up the stairs to the Crypt!" Olmec said. "Grab the book from the skeletons and pass into the Pit and the Pendulum! Knock over the pillar and climb into the King's Storeroom! Smash the clay pots and find the key that will lead you into the Room of the Ancient Warriors! Place yourself in the correct suit of armor, and you'll find yourself in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey!"

"That's where the artifact is located today," Kirk pointed out helpfully.

"Assemble the statue, and you may be headed towards the Room of the Sacred Alicorns! Put the three cutie marks onto the proper alicorns, to activate the secret passage below! Slide down the tunnel to the Quicksand Bog, where you could smash through the wall to the Dark Forest! But beware of the Temple Guards, who may inhabit the trees!

"Find the key in a tree and enter the The Jester's Court! Press yourself against the correct wall painting, and you'll gain entry to the Tomb of the Headless Kings! Pull the vine to release their bones, and attach the missing skull to its proper king. Then, race through the pit, climb through the ledges, race down the stairs, and back to the temple gate."

There was a brief pause, as the cameras (which had been focusing on the temple's rooms) returned to Olmec and the competitors.

"The choices are yours, and yours alone," Olmec said. He was lying, of course. Some of the doors remained locked, no matter what, so the contestants were forced to follow a particular path. Otherwise, contestants would always pick the shortest path through the temple and skip half of the rooms. That would make for boring TV.

"You won one and a half pendants in the Temple Games," Olmec said. "Who is going first?"

"I am!" Rainbow Dash said proudly.

"Very well, Rainbow Dash," Olmec said. "When Kirk gives the signal, you'll race your way through the gates into the temple and make your way towards Starswirl's hat. Hidden inside the temple are Temple Guards, assigned to protect three specific rooms. You can trade your pendant for an extra life, but if you're caught without a pendant, you will be taken out of the temple, and it will be Fluttershy's turn to enter and try her luck.

"If you can reach the hat, all of the doors of the temple will instantly unlock, and the Temple Guards will vanish. Return through the gates with the hat of Starswirl the Bearded within three minutes, and you'll both be handsomely rewarded. And here's how!"

"You'll be going to Space Camp!" the announcer said. "Spend six nights with Princess Luna and get a firsthoof experience of what it's like to live on the moon! Impress all your friends by living like an astronaut and/or banished megalomaniac! Space Camp! It's lonely up here!"

"That sounds good to me," Kirk said. "You ready to go, Rainbow?"

"Hoof yeah!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Olmec, lower your gate!" Kirk ordered.

Olmec groaned slightly as the gate retracted.

"Let's put three minutes on the clock," Kirk said. "On your mark...get set...GO!"

Dramatic music played, as Rainbow Dash flew up the steps. "There goes Rainbow Dash, into the temple!" Kirk said. "She's in the Crypt! She's in the Crypt!"

The Crypt had three skeletons, each one holding a book in its arms. Pulling on the correct book would open the door to the next room. The only way to win this challenge was by luck, and luck was not on Rainbow Dash's side, as a temple guard appeared.

"Oh, it's a Temple Guard! Give him your pendant!" Kirk said.

Rainbow Dash muttered something about how cheap it was to have a temple guard in the first room, then she handed her pendant over to him. This left her with only half a pendant. The other half was hidden in the temple somewhere, so it was possible for her to find it and have a full pendant.

The guard left, and Rainbow Dash pulled one of the books. Nothing happened, so she pulled another book. With a mechanical clunk, the door to the next room opened.

"She's at the Pit and the Pendulum!" Kirk said. "She needs to take the rope and swing to the other side of the room, then swing to the pillar!"

Rainbow Dash ignored these rules and flew straight at the pillar, knocking it down. This saved her at least ten seconds of time, and it opened the doors to the two rooms on the left. Since she was closer to the ground, Rainbow went to the lower room.

"She's in the Tomb of the Headless Kings!" Kirk said. This room had two decorated skeletons, seated on thrones. Green-colored ropes hung down from the ceiling; they were attached to some sort of ceiling net. Rainbow grabbed a rope and pulled it hard. A small scream was heard as the net came loose, dropping several things on the floor.

Rainbow took a moment to sort through the items. Most of them were props shaped like bones, but one was a head. She flew up and put it on the rightmost statue, but it didn't fit.

"Oh, no, try the other statue!" Kirk said. "You can do it, Rainbow Dash!"

Rainbow put the head on the other statue. Instead of opening the door to the left, which would have been helpful, the door to the ceiling opened.

"And she's flying up to the next room!" Kirk said. "No, wait, she's stopping. Why is she—oooh! She's found the second half of the pendant, on the side of the ladder! Good eye, Rainbow Dash! Now she has a full pendant, and she's in the King's Storeroom"

Rainbow Dash stopped inside the room and looked around. There were three pedestals with pots on them, but Rainbow couldn't remember what she had to do here. Olmec's instructions had been a bit of an information overload.

"Smash the pots!" Kirk said. "Smash the pots and find the key!"

"Right!" Rainbow Dash said.

Rainbow Dash grabbed the pots and threw them into the small indentation on the floor. This was conveniently located in the center of the room, so she wouldn't make a mess. The third pot had the key inside. She jammed the key into one of the holes on top of a pedestal, and the door to the next room opened.

There was a five-second shot of Fluttershy clapping her hooves, as Rainbow Dash went to the left.

"She's in the Room of the Ancient Warriors!" Kirk said. "She's only one room away from the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! Keep going!"

This room had three coffins against the back wall. Each coffin had a suit of armor inside, with levers on the side. Rainbow jumped into the first suit of armor and pulled the levers, but nothing happened. She jumped into the second suit of armor, and a Temple Guardian who had been hiding there grabbed her from behind.

Rainbow Dash would have nightmares about that later on, but at the moment, all she did was scream in fright. She picked up the Temple Guard and threw him off of the set. "Don't you dare sneak up on me like that!" she shouted.

"Uh..." Kirk said. "Rainbow Dash deals with the Temple Guard in a unique way. You still have to give up your pendant, though."

Rainbow Dash threw hew pendant on the ground and jumped into the third suit of armor. She pulled the levers, and the door opened! Unfortunately, this was not the door to the left, which led to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. It was the door to the room below.

"She's in the Jester's Court!" Kirk said. "She's got a little more than two minutes left! Oooh! Keep moving!"

The Jester's Court had fancy designs on the wall. The main three designs were outlines of pony bodies. To get through the room, you have to put yourself up against the outline perfectly, hitting the buttons on the wall. Some of the smaller fillies had trouble with this challenge, but Rainbow Dash was a full-grown mare. Even without the use of her wings, she could easily line herself up against the wall and hit the buttons.

Rainbow Dash got it correct on the first try, which almost never happened, and she went into the dark forest. This room had spooky-looking trees, which didn't go away, even if you giggled at them. Rainbow was supposed to put her hoof into each tree, in hopes of finding the key to the door, but she decided to save time by going through the fake wall.

"She's heading into the Dark Forest now!" Kirk said. "She has to find the key and, no wait, she's smashing through the wall to the Quicksand Bog! Oooh! She skipped the trees completely, and now she's flying up the slide! She's going backwards through the pharaoh's secret passage to the Room of the Sacred Alicorns!"

The Room of the Sacred Alicorns was on the upper level of the temple. The wall here had a mural of the three alicorns: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and Princess Cadance. There was a small hole in the wall, where each alicorn's cutie mark was supposed to go. On a table in the center of the room were three tiles. One had a moon, one had a sun, and one had a crystal heart. Rainbow Dash picked up the tiles and put them in the correct holes, and the door to the right locked.

"SHE DID IT!" Kirk shouted. "She did it! She's in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey! That's where the hat of Starswirl the Bearded is!"

Rainbow Dash was feeling confident now. She had made it through all the rooms of the temple, in less than half of the three minutes. All she had to do now was grab the hat of Starswirl the Bearded, then leave. Rainbow Dash was somehow unaware of this rule, though, and she mistakenly thought she had to assemble the Silver Monkey Statue in order to win.

Rainbow was certain that assembling the Silver Monkey Statue would be a piece of cake. It was an incredibly simple three-piece puzzle, and she was confident she could solve it quickly.

[Cue the montage of people failing this challenge.]

"You gotta... No, you gotta turn it around. No, turn it around. Turn it around. You have to turn it around. Ok, now she's going out the wrong way," Kirk said. "Rainbow, turn the pieces around so they're all facing the same direction! How is that so complicated? No, turn it around! Don't...annnd she dropped the middle piece."

Swearing loudly, Rainbow bucked the incorrectly-assembled statue with her hind legs. Then she flew up and grabbed Starswirl's hat from the shelf on the room.

"She's got it! She got the hat!" Kirk said. "Now all the doors to the temple are unlocked! She just has to get back to the entrance in time! Can she make it?"

The crowd started chanting down the seconds left in the game. "Ten! Nine! Eight!"

Rainbow Dash flew to the right, through the now-open doors. She went through the room of the Ancient Warriors, through the King's Storeroom, into the Pit and Pendulum and through the Crypt.

"Three! Two! One!" the crowd chanted as Rainbow blew down the steps to the temple and landed in front of Kirk as the horn sounded.

*Bwooooomp!*

"Just in time!" Kirk said. "This is amazing, folks! Rainbow Dash has become the first-ever pony to win Legends of the Hidden Temple! At the very last second, she brought the hat of Starswirl the Bearded out of the temple, and—"

"I'm afraid that is incorrect," Olmec said.

"What?" Kirk asked.

"Rainbow Dash does not have Starswirl's hat with her," Olmec said.

"The hat!" Kirk said. "Where is the hat?"

"Back in the monkey room," Rainbow Dash said.

"You left the hat behind in the temple?" Kirk asked, stunned.

"Duh, I can't fly my fastest with a hat in my hooves," Rainbow Dash said.

Kirk facehoofed at this. "My apologies, everypony!" he said. "It seems that Rainbow Dash has not won the game! She failed to bring the artifact here in time!"

"What?!" Rainbow Dash asked. "The rules were that I had to get the artifact, not that I had to bring it with me!"

"Um, why would you get an artifact, just to leave it in a temple?" Fluttershy asked.

"Exactly!" Kirk said. "But you will get a special prize for making it this far! What's the prize today, Olmec?"

"For failing the challenge, you both get an 'I'm With Stupid' T-shirt!" Olmec said. "Let everypony know that you blame your partner for your team's colossal failure!"

"Not as good as Space Camp, but still very nice!" Kirk said. "Anyway, let's have a round of applause for the Blue Barracudas! They tried their hardest, and they almost won the game! Until next time, this has been Kirk Fogg and Olmec on..."

"Legends of the Hidden Temple!" Olmec said.

"Goodbye, everypony!" Kirk said.

The ending music played, while Rainbow Dash bewailed her loss. Fluttershy tried to comfort her, as the camera faded to black.

Ten minutes later, the crew was packing everything up, and Kirk had changed out of his work clothes.

"Well, I'm going home," Kirk said. "Too bad you can't come along for our guy's night out, Olmec. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Kirk, wait," Olmec said. "Hold on a second."

"Huh?" Kirk asked. "What is it, buddy?"

"You...you've never seen the backside of my head, have you?" Olmec asked.

"No, why?" Kirk asked.

"Just...come and take a look," Olmec said.

Kirk shrugged, wondering what this was all about. He walked around the side of the large Olmec head, then almost fell over in surprise. The back of Olmec's head had wires sticking out of it, along with a lever and four mechanical-looking buttons. A microphone was at the bottom of the equipment, and sitting behind the microphone was a male Earth pony.

"Hey, Kirk," the pony said. "Nice to finally meet you."

"OLMEC?" Kirk asked.

"My name is Dee Trotter," the pony said. "I do the voice of Olmec."

"You...but...Olmec is a machine?" Kirk asked, amazed.

"What, did you think he was real?" Dee asked. "There's no such thing as magical talking heads."

"My best friend is imaginary?" Kirk asked. He felt like bursting into tears. "I've spent months bonding with Olmec, and he's not real?"

"Hey, I'm real," Dee said. "And I'm your friend. You're a great guy, Kirk."

"No, no," Kirk said, rubbing his forehead with his hooves. "I'm having a hard time processing this. The whole time I was talking to Olmec, I was really talking to you?"

"Uh huh," Dee said. "And I've loved working with you. You said you wanted to have a guy's night out? Let's go!"

Kirk was taken aback. On the one hoof, this was a dream come true: he could finally spend time with his best friend Olmec, outside of the studio. On the other hoof, it was definitely not what he expected.

"Hold on a second, Dee," Kirk said. "If you're really Olmec, that means you and I can do the one thing I've always wanted to do."

"What's that?" Dee asked.

Five Minutes Later

"The choices are yours and yours alone!" Dee said, in his Olmec voice. "You have three minutes in order to get the artifact. Now GO!"

Kirk ran up the stairs to the temple, and went into the Crypt. "I'm gonna do it!" he said. "I'm going to win the challenge!"

"You can do it, Kirk!" Dee cheered. "Look out for the Temple Guards, though!"

And that's the story of the time Twilight Sparkle and her pony companions appeared on TV. It is also the story of how Kirk Trot became the first and only pony to ever successfully win Legends of the Hidden Temple.

The End

Author's Note

Sorry to all the people who wanted to see somepony else win the game, but I think Kirk deserved the victory more than the others did.

Also, my apologies if I made a mistake with the temple's layout. I drew a map of the temple and everything, but I still think I messed up somewhere. The Sacred Alicorn Room was completely made up by me, as a replacement for the Chamber of the Sacred Markers (which I completely forgot about).