Ingress: Vacation

Three years after First Ingress

Lionel sighed faintly, stretching out on the bed and staring at the ceiling. The dying sunlight striped the room, peeking in through the blinds.

It was afternoon, and the large leisure facility was deserted. The LakePoint Leisure Facility was a specialist ‘resort’ for both ponies and humans. It had been built the previous year, and opened for three months. It had everything: an olympic sized swimming pool, sauna, spa, tennis court, basketball court, archery range, and even a small library with mixed pony and human books. There was usually a large cloudbank circling the facility for pegasus to play in, and cloud-rings for races. The facility had been deserted for the past fortnight however and the clouds were no longer being maintained. It was off-season, and the entire human staff had gone back to Earth for holidays, while the ponies on the staff had gone to be with their families.

Lionel was the skeleton crew as it were, minding the facility for a few weeks. His secondary, an earth pony named Forked Branch, had made a deal with Lionel for the human to watch the facility by himself for the first week, and then the pony would watch it for the next week.

And so, Lionel was lazing. He had picked a room at the top of the main ‘hotel’ block and right in one of the corners. He was buck naked, with the curtains thrown open and the air conditioner on full, watching a dvd on the flatscreen television, as no TV stations broadcast in Equestria.

A dull tone reverberated throughout the facility.

Lionel cursed, rolling off the bed and grabbing his clothes, starting to tug on them. The dull tone reverberated again, like a chime. And then again, and again.

“I’m coming!” Lionel growled to no one in particular, straightening up his shirt and then snatching up the keyring, a special ‘keycard’ device developed specifically for ponies. It was a small pendant-like object that could be attached to a chain and hung around the neck, or even from a wing. It was made primarily since ponies didn’t have pockets, for the most part. Built into the pendant was a microchip broadcasting a special magically-weighted signal that would open a hotel door so long as it was within a few feet of the receiver.

Lionel pushed the door open, snatching up a pair of slip-on shoes and then bolting down the hallway as the tone sounded again.

The tone was set up to the loudspeakers for the entire facility, and was specifically there for him. It was hooked up to the front door-bell, to let either Lionel or Forked Branch know when there was a visitor.

The elevator was slow, built for ponies. Earth ponies were shown to have a great problem with the inertia of an elevator, and so the elevator was made to move at a snails pace. Lionel took the stairs, sliding down them rapidly until he got to the bottom floor. He paused in the hallway, straightening up his hair, using a hung picture as a makeshift mirror. Lionel then moved for the reception area, stepping through the doorway.

A cyan pegasus with a very distinctive mane and tail met his gaze. She was standing in front of the counter, pushing her hoof down on the ‘ring for service’ button. A pair of purple eyes glanced up at him from over a pair of pink aviator sunglasses, and the pegasus huffed, tossing her rainbow mane. “About time!”

Lionel blinked once, bewildered. “Excuse me, ma’am?”

“I’ve been ringing this bell for at least ten minutes!” the pegasus stated, waving a hoof.

Lionel knew it hadn’t even been five minutes, but pursed his lips, keeping it to himself. “May I ask why you’re here?”

“I’m here to get a room,” the pegasus stated simply.

“There are no rooms available,” Lionel said smoothly.

The pegasus pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing. She looked left, and then right, and then back at Lionel. “And yet there is nopony anywhere here.”

“You don’t understand, ma’am. This facility is closed down for the next two months,” Lionel said, as calmly as he could.

“Do you know who I am?” the mare asked with a slowly-raising brow.

“Rainbow Dash. Junior Flyer for the Wonderbolt,” Lionel said smoothly. He had been a fan of the Wonderbolts since he had heard of them, and a mare with a rainbow mane and tail was quite distinctive, even in the larger formations.

Rainbow Dash looked taken aback at that, blinking once. “W-well... then you should treat me with respect! I’m part of the Wonderbolts!”

“I’m afraid that your standing in the pony world has little bearing on the fact that this place is closed down for the next two months,” Lionel reminded pleasantly.

“You have rooms that are not occupied, yes?” Rainbow Dash asked flatly.

Lionel gave a cautious nod.

Rainbow Dash waved a hoof. “Then I will take one.”

“That’s not how it works,” Lionel said, his tone becoming exasperated.

“That is how it works,” Rainbow Dash stated, her eyes narrowing slowly.

“There are no cooks, no room service, no cleaners, no staff here, except for me!” Lionel pointed out, slapping a hand on the counter. “That means no meals, your bed will not get made, there are no activities, and no luxuries of any kind.”

Rainbow Dash sniffed once, wrinkling her nose. “Well in that case... I’ll only be paying half price.”

Lionel gave a sound of suppressed rage.

“You eat while you are here, yes?” Rainbow Dash asked sweetly.

“No, I just starve for the entire two months,” Lionel replied, tone laced heavily with sarcasm.

“Then you will just make double what you normally would, and I will eat the other half. But no meat,” Rainbow Dash said calmly, her tone commanding.

“And now you want me to turn vegetarian?!” Lionel responded, his exasperation growing.

“Either give me a room, or I’m going to kick a door down and you can bill me,” Rainbow Dash said simply, in a tone that left Lionel in no doubt that she would follow through with her threat.

Lionel sighed, shaking his head and pulling a pendant off a hook, placing it on a black pad that sat next to an extremely bulky laptop. He flicked the power on, and then waited a few moments for the special operating system to load. The entire laptop was a new technology entirely, using magic for its wiring and operation as opposed to normal means. The information itself was recorded, with magic, on small, colour-coded crystals. It was discovered, very soon after entering Equestria, that magical impulses completely burned out normal electronics, and rendered magnetic hard drive completely blank in seconds. A new technology had been needed to bring computers to Equestria, and even then, it was a young technology. Lionel had phones back on earth that were more powerful than the bulky laptop.

After several moments, the system loaded, and Lionel flicked over to the room selection. The pad hummed, and a small LED lit up on the back of it, glowing the numbers ‘051’. He held out the pendant. “Ground floor, room fifty-one.”

“Ground floor?” Rainbow Dash asked, deliberately not taking the pendant. “I want top floor. Next to the roof access.”

“But-”

“The hotel is empty! Don’t pretend like you can’t give me a room where I want!”

Lionel gave a suppressed growl in the back of his throat, placing the pendant back on the pad. He selected another room, one right across the hall from his own, and then handed the pendant to the pegasus. “Floor five, room seven.”

“Better,” Rainbow Dash said with a smug smile, snatching the pendant and then slipping it over her head, so that it hung against her chest. “See that my bags are taken up to my room, yes?” Without another word, Rainbow Dash started towards the hallway.

Lionel considered just leaving her bags in the foyer, but instead, he called after her. “I’m not a bag carrier! Carry them yourself!”

Lionel passed the rainbow pegasus as she walking back to get her bags, and she cast him a dirty look. Lionel just smiled warmly.

As Lionel was settling himself into his room, he heard the sound of the door across the hall opening, and heavy bags being dragged through. With a shake of his head, he flicked on the TV, popping a translucent purple crystal into the slot on the side of the TV. Immediately, an image of the Discovery Channel showed up on the screen. There were twelve hours of material on a single crystal, and the hotel had a stock of an entire year worth of eight different channels.

There was a curt knock at his door in just a few minutes. Rainbow Dash must have heard the TV.

Lionel sighed, sliding off the bed and then opening the door, raising a brow down at the pegasus.

Rainbow Dash peered up at him, giving a single snort. “I’m hungry.”

“Dinner isn’t for three hours,” Lionel stated flatly.

“I didn’t eat anything on the trip here,” Rainbow Dash complained, a distinctive whine coming into her tone. “And seeing as the restaurant isn’t open, you have to feed me.”

Lionel closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. “...Fine. Fine. I’ll cook something.”

Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves together with a grin. “I’ll see you in the restaurant then!”

Lionel sighed as he sliced a zucchini into neat little pieces, layering it over the curried rice he was preparing. This was not what he had signed up for. A ‘meal’ for him consisted of a single meat pie, heated in the magic-microwave. Maybe if he was feeling fancy, he would half-cook the pie, rip the top off, put a piece of cheese on it, and then replace the top before finishing cooking it. If he was feeling exotic he’d even throw instant mash potato with it! There was just not need to fire up the kitchen for a single person, or even two. But pegasi didn’t eat meat, and so he was forced to turn on the oven, wait for the fire to get to the correct temperature, boil the rice, cut the zucchini, make the curry sauce, mix it in with the rice, garnish it all with the zucchini, and then add extras to it all! And all just for a meal! He half wished he could have told her to go outside and eat the grass. He had half a mind to eat the rice himself and just give her a family-sized plate piled high with grass clippings.

But Lionel was a good little worker, and instead, he came out with two large bowls, one for himself, and one for the pegasus.

Rainbow Dash was sitting in one corner of the restaurant, hooves crossed in front of her, head resting on them, watching the door like a half. Her ears perked up as she saw him, and she sat up straight.

Lionel made his way over to her, placing down her bowl, and the napkin-wrapped knife and fork, before making his way right to the other end of the room, pushing open the sliding door and selecting a seat on the balcony, facing outwards.

Grumpily, Lionel began to fork rice into his mouth, wishing that he had thought to fry some chicken to go with it. He was barely even started when he heard a rustle of movement behind him, and then Rainbow Dash was setting her bowl in the seat to the left of his own, at his table.

“What are you doing?” Lionel asked flatly.

“I believe I am standing. I am about to be sitting, and eating,” Rainbow Dash said flatly.

“Did you have to pick a spot at my table?” Lionel queried, staring at her.

Rainbow Dash snorted once, looking about. “Why? Was someone else going to sit here?”

Lionel’s eyes narrowing, and he shook his head slowly. “Fine, whatever.” Lionel shoved his fork into the rice, heaping it into his mouth.

“So, how did you come to be the sole caretaker of this entire hotel for two months?” Rainbow Dash asked in between dainty forkfuls of rice.

“Punched a guy in the face,” Lionel said with a shrug.

Rainbow Dash blinked. “I wish all job interviews were so simple.”

“My father is an executive of the company that owns this entire hotel. They put me here because my behavior was making my father look bad. Affecting stock prices, or something. Got me out of the public eye,” Lionel said with another shrug.

“Is your approach to conflict resolution always to punch it in the face?” Rainbow Dash asked sweetly.

Lionel’s eyes narrowed, and he gave her a long, significant stare. “It isn’t exactly a last resort.”

Rainbow Dash laughed faintly at that, lifting a hoof to gently boop his nose. “You’re so cute, thinking you’re all tough. I spent months around Horse Power, and you think you intimidate me?”

Lionel jerked back at the poke to his nose, blinking at the pegasus for a long moment. “What the hell are you doing? Are you flirting with me?”

Rainbow Dash wrinkled her nose in distaste. “Uh, no! I’m just making a case that just because we’re here doesn’t mean we can’t be civil.”

“And here I was thinking it was your attitude that precluded civility,” Lionel responded flatly.

The pegasus gave a soft giggle at that, shaking her head. “I’m afraid that I’m not the one with a terrible attitude.”

“You really don’t know how much of a bitch you are, do you?” Lionel asked, his tone amazed.

Rainbow Dash raised a brow. “Please, tell me about my attitude, I’m sure you’ve got an accurate scope over the ten minutes we’ve spent together.”

“Enough to know that it was ten minutes too long!” Lionel protested, shaking his head and picking up his bowl. He stood then, and turned to walk away. “Dinner is at seven. Don’t be late or you won’t get any.”

Lionel spent the rest of his afternoon: all two and a half hours of it, sitting in front of the TV, watching a Mythbusters episode about Unicorn magic.

And then it was back downstairs to begin preparing dinner. This time, he made up a recipe that the ponies created, a hayseed and olive-oil slurry baked at a very specific temperate and turned into a kind of pancake, that was then used to wrap around various vegetables to form a baking pastry that hardened into something like a flaky pizza crust. It was impossible to describe to someone who hadn’t eaten it, but it was quite nice.

Lionel took a plate of the little wrapped bundles out to Rainbow Dash, whom was sitting at one of the tables, and then returned to the kitchen. After turning everything off, he headed straight out the back door towards the jacuzzi.

The entire jacuzzi was set up on the hill overlooking the valley to the east. A dark ribbon of a river crept through the rocks and the trees, snaking through the valley until it came to a small, still pond.

Lionel stripped off, put his plate on the edge of the jacuzzi, and then flicked it on. A magical power crystal somewhere underneath the jacuzzi itself fired up, and bubbles began to froth up from hidden jets. He slipped into the water, stretching out lazily and then reaching over for his plate, picking up one of the hayseed wraps and chewing at it idly, watching the moon shining over the valley.

The entire front surface of the jacuzzi building was a transparent magical shield. It wasn’t evident except for the occasional flicker of teal across its surface when a bug or leaf impacted it. This left a perfect view of the valley with no impeding glass or other surfaces.

There was the sound of the door to the jacuzzi room opening, and Lionel groaned inwardly.

Rainbow Dash stalked over to the jacuzzi, placing her plate down and then testing the water with a hoof. “It’s cold.”

Lionel slowly raised a brow at her. “No one says you have to get in.”

“Oh, I’ll get over it,” Rainbow Dash said with a shrug, slipping into the water with a splash. She came up with a grimace on her face, working one of her wings slowly back and forth in the water.

Lionel sighed, shaking his head. “Why are you following me?”

“Because,” Rainbow Dash said with a faint shrug. “You’re the only other person here, and I hang around Pinkie Pie. Without constantly having my ear talked off, I start to get uncomfortable.”

“I’m not much of a talker,” Lionel said, pursing his lips in annoyance, grumpily picking up another hayseed wrap and chewing on it.

“I’ve noticed,” Rainbow Dash replied simply, giving him a significant look. “You really don’t like me, do you?”

“Was it that obvious?” Lionel asked, blinking at her.

Rainbow Dash snorted, tossing her mane. “But I’m quite alluring, yes?”

“Beauty counts nothing against attitude,” Lionel said with a slow shake of his head.

“So you admit that I’m attractive?” Rainbow Dash asked, batting her eyelashes.

Lionel sighed, putting his head in his hands for a moment. “Yes. Yes you are attractive. But your attitude is not.”

“And what exactly is wrong with my attitude?” Rainbow Dash asked calmly.

“You’re just so... entitled!” Lionel said, exasperation creeping into his tone. “Give me this, give me that. You act like the world owes you everything!”

Rainbow Dash raised a brow slowly. “And when exactly was I acting like this?”

“When you were asking for a room, when you were asking for dinner. So basically, when you were awake!” Lionel growled in response.

Rainbow Dash stared at him, before saying tactfully, “And when I wanted a room, I was paying for it, yes?”

“...Well, I suppose-”

“-And when I was asking for food, it was allotted eating times, yes?” Rainbow Dash cut across him.

“Well, yes-”

“-So one would be able to say that I deserved these things. Seeing as I am paying for them?” Rainbow Dash finished with a smug smile.

“Ugh, I hate you,” Lionel stated with a slow shake of his head.

“Only because I’m right,” Rainbow Dash replied with a slow smile.

“You could at least ask nicely. Instead of demanding,” Lionel rebuked with a growl.

Rainbow Dash raised a brow slowly. “But what do I get from being nice, when the result will always be the same?”

“It’d make me happier,” Lionel stated flatly.

Rainbow Dash laughed. “But I don’t care about your happiness. I don’t know you. I don’t need to expend effort on your happiness.”

Lionel just stared at the pegasus for a long, long moment.

“What?” Rainbow Dash asked, a single ear perking. “Too blunt?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Lionel admitted.

“Don’t even pretend you don’t feel the same way. If you weren’t bound by the moral obligations of your position here, then you’d have told me rack off the moment I showed up,” Rainbow Dash explained calmly. “And you wouldn’t have given a single care what I thought.”

Lionel pursed his lips and didn’t respond.

“I’ll take your silence as an affirmation,” Rainbow Dash said with a grin, picking up one of her own hayseed wraps and chewing on it happily. “No, if you were to give me a reason to be nicer to you, why, I might just do that.”

Lionel snorted, turning away and picking up another wrap, biting it in half with a scowl.

Rainbow Dash just smiled, relaxing back against the edge of the jacuzzi, giving a sigh of contentment.

It was a full half hour before Rainbow Dash decided to leave the jacuzzi. Crickets chirped, and the cool dampness of the night was in full sway. Lionel was slightly worried. The air condition in the hotel room wasn’t an original earth model, and actually used water and magical ice to cool the air, instead of a refrigerant that removed moisture from the air. This meant that he couldn’t run the air con and expect to dry out quickly.

Lionel watching Rainbow Dash pulling herself out of the jacuzzi, and then stretching slowly, wincing and arching her wing faintly.

“Do you... have any IcyHot here?” Rainbow Dash asked hopefully.

“IcyHot?” Lionel asked with a slow blink.

“Erm... Deep Heat?” Rainbow Dash corrected.

“Ah,” Lionel said with a blink, before making a face. “We have some... in the newsagency. But it’s closed down until the workers all get back. I don’t have the keys because it’s not staffed by the hotel itself.”

Rainbow Dash whimpered faintly at that. “Well... thanks anyhow.”

Lionel frowned after her as she started off, before he called: “What did you do to your wing?”

Rainbow Dash paused, looking slightly embarrassed. She looked back over her shoulder for a moment, and gave a wry smile. “I uh... kinda hurt it doing some stunts earlier. Guess I didn’t warm up properly.”

Lionel nodded once at that. “There’s an ice machine on one side of the restaurant. Should be some ice in it still. Try that.”

“Okay thanks,” Rainbow Dash said, stalking off without another word.

Lionel sighed faintly, staying in the tub another ten minutes before picking up both of their plates and returning them to the kitchen. He popped them into the dishwasher, and then locked up for the night, grabbing a small tub of chocolate ice cream from the freezer and a plastic spoon on his way out.

Lionel headed back up to his room to relax for a little while before he retired to bed early, as no doubt Rainbow Dash would want breakfast. He heard faint whimpers from the room across the hall as he held out his amulet to open the door, and he frowned slightly. With a grimace, he went inside the room, found the bottle of skin moisturizer, and then heading back out into the hallway, tentatively knocking on Rainbow Dash’s door.

There was a rustle of movement, and then the mare came to the door, pulling it open and grimacing up at him, her ears splayed back, obviously in pain but trying her best not to show it. “Yes?”

“I uh...” he held up the bottle of skin moisturizer awkwardly.

“Yes?” Rainbow Dash asked again, baring her teeth for a moment.

“Oh for god’s s-” Lionel cut himself off, shaking his head and then stepping inside the room, closing the door after him. “Get on the bed.”

“W-what?” Rainbow Dash asked uncertainly, suddenly seeming afraid.

“I’m going to massage your wing, get out that strain,” Lionel said with a shake of his head.

“Oh...” Rainbow Dash said with a single blink, before brightening. “Okay!”

Without another word, Rainbow Dash clambered up onto the bed and then splayed out across it, her right wing half-bent, crooked and crumbled.

Lionel gave a long-suffering sigh, pulling himself up onto the bed as well, kneeling besides her. He gingerly extended her wing, making the mare gasp and stiffen, her hooves clutching at the bed. “B-be gentle.”

“I barely even touched you,” Lionel said with a shake of his head, squirting some of the moisturizer onto his hand, and then smearing it across the leading edge of her wing. Using his thumb and forefinger, he began to knead and work the cream into her feathers, carefully rubbing. “Here?”

“Lower,” Rainbow Dash murmured, peering back at him over her shoulder. “A little to the left...”

A faint groan and a shiver left the pegasus as she clenched her hooves on the bed even further, tensing slightly, biting her bottom lip. “Y-you found it... h-hurts...”

“You’re all tight,” Lionel said with a frown, staring off into space as he carefully inspected her muscles with his fingertips. “Try to loosen up a bit or we’ll be here all night.”

“I’m trying!” Rainbow Dash rebuked with a grimace, clenching her teeth and then forcefully extending her wing with a sharp cry of pain.

“There, better,” Lionel soothed, holding her wing outstretched and then beginning to slowly work it back and forth, all while kneading and massaging his fingers into the joint of her wing, where the muscles appeared to be locking up.

“A-ah... that feels kinda nice now,” Rainbow Dash murmured, slumping slightly into the pillows with a groan of relief.

Lionel gave a soft laugh and slowly shook his head.

“What’s so funny?” Rainbow Dash asked, huffing faintly.

Lionel shook his head. “Just picturing what someone would think if they were standing outside with their ear pressed against the door.”

Rainbow Dash blinked at that, pondering for a long moment, before her eyes widened. “Oh.” Her cheeks flushed just faintly and her tail gave a soft flick back and forth.

Lionel continued to knead and rub at her wing carefully, before swapping one of his hands to her other wing. “Extend.”

Rainbow Dash did as asked, extending her wing outwards, so that her impressive wingspan was on display. Lionel pressed his fingertips to the same place on both wings, rubbing slowly at her, humming thoughtfully. “Well... there’s a little bit of swelling in there that I can feel.”

Rainbow Dash didn’t respond, biting her tongue and whimpering softly.

Lionel took the hint, releasing her wing. “Whatever happened to the ice?”

“Melted,” Rainbow Dash said helplessly. “Pegasus have high body temperatures.”

Lionel frowned at that, and then slid off the bed. “Wait here a moment.”

A quick step back outside of her room, leaving a slip-on shoe in her doorway so the door didn’t lock again, he retrieved his chocolate ice cream, and then returned to the pegasus’ room.

“What’re you doing with that?” Rainbow Dash asked with mild concern.

Lionel smiled, and then placed it directly on her wing, over the joint. There was a few seconds before Rainbow Dash gave a low, happy groan and melted into the bed. “Oh... Oh that is nice...”

With a soft chuckle, Lionel removed the lid of the ice cream, and then dug the spoon into it. It was already soft from the time it had spent outside the freezer, and he slipped a spoonful into his mouth happily. After a moment of indecision, he scooped up another amount and then offered it to the pegasus.

Rainbow Dash made a faint, indecisive sound, and then opened her mouth, closing it over the spoon and then dragging backwards, suckling the ice cream from the spoon and then swallowing with a contented sigh. “This is actually rather nice.”

Lionel gave a faint chuckle at that, nodding and then patting her wing. “Well, rest up, and your wing should be good in no time.”

“Thank you... erm...” Rainbow Dash opened an eye to peer up at him, looking at his chest.

“Lionel,” he responded with a shake of his head and a wry smile. “I don’t wear a name badge.”

“Well thanks, Lionel.” Rainbow Dash murmured, stretching out slowly.

“I’m sorry for... you know, the attitude,” Lionel said with a strained smile. “I’m not exactly the first person they’d choose for customer relations.”

Rainbow Dash giggled at that, shaking her head. “I noticed.”

“Well thanks for the confidence boost. We should do this again sometime,” Lionel said sarcastically.

Rainbow Dash gave a noncommittal sound, waving a hoof at him dismissively.

Lionel pulled himself up from the bed. “Goodnight, Rainbow Dash.”

The pegasus gave an indistinct sound at him, seeming to be half-asleep already. Lionel just shook his head, slipping out of the room.