Meet the Ponies

by W9001PILLSHERE

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6
Length: 1461

Every Team Fortress 2 "Meet The" video: ponified and in story format!

This is just a short little thing I decided to do, for squees and giggles. After the mercs visits and assistance in saving Ponyville (and very well all of Equestria), not once, but twice, the ponies decide to do something for them. After making discoveries about the technology used to run the world the mercs live in, Twilight Sparkle manages to reproduce almost to a T and as a result, various locations across Equestria become battlegrounds (for fun, not seriousness) and hilarity (and various potential lawsuits) ensue. So, for one thing, I OWN NOTHING FROM VALVE. THIS STORY IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, NOT PROFITS. So, enjoy, thanks, have fun and I hope that this has been WORTH THE WEIGHT.

Published 2013-01-23 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-23 22:10:01 UTC

For Science! and Fun.

Twilight Sparkle had practically been bouncing around the library in a Pinkie-like manner, just dying to tell the mercenaries about her discoveries. Their communication device was off (and a black light below the white label "2Fort line" indicated that")and she couldn't tell them yet. She had patiently watched the device, waiting for the light to turn green, signalling the mercenaries had awoken or finished their current round and were free to pla- er, free to talk. She had read books to pass the time, and even to reading a book titled "How to Pass Time". Her friends were all gathered in the library as well, waiting to see what Twilight had discovered.
"C'mon Twi," said Applejack, "Ya need a break from all this waitin'."
"Applejack is right", Rarity chimed in. "Worrying about something too much is enough to make somepony a little cuckoo. As we've seen before with you," she finished muttering quietly to herself.
"I know," said Twilight, "but I'm just sooooooooooo excited to show everyone what I've created, especially Engineer."
Just then, the light below the white "2Fort" label turned green. Twilight Sparkle jumped in the air and released a barrage of fireworks from her horn and yelled excitedly. "YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
She managed to compose herself, and began to communicate with the RED team at 2Fort.
"Twilight Sparkle to RED headquarters, come in RED."
"Oh, hey der Twi" said Scout, on the other line. "What's goin on in Ponyville?"
"I did some research with the notes that you guys gave me, and I think that I've done something incredible... something that you'll all want to see for yourselves."
"Uh-huh...."
"Gather the team and get here as soon as you can. And bring all your hats and weapons."
"Now you're speakin mah language", said Scout with a sly grin on his face. "We'll be right over."
Within 20 minutes, the RED team had arrived in Ponyville, various bags in their possession.
"Alright Twilight", said Engineer. "Where's this thing ya wanted ta show us?"
"It's this way, in the basement, come with me."
The ponies and mercenaries followed Twilight down the stairs in the library, and saw a massive object covered by a white sheet.
"Mares and Gentlemen" said Twilight, emphasizing the last word attempting the Spy's accent.", I have taken the notes you gave me on your world and everything about it, and I am proud to say that after several months of secret work, I believe I have recreated the world you live in."
Confused glances and whispers went through the room. Spike had just come downstairs and heard the minor commotion.
"Oh come on guys!" said Spike defensively. "Twilight's a genius in both magic and science. I"m sure she's made exactly what she said she did.
Twilight blushed a little. "Thank you, Spike. Now, I've recreated the world you live in in a fashion that gives us human forms, something like similar versions of you, only female and with our mane styles and colors. Derpy, the Cutie Mark crusaders and Zecora should be here any" Twilight was cut off almost on cue by a grey mare crashing through a window upstairs, followed by three fillies and a zebra.
"My bad!" Derpy called from upstairs.
"Anyway..." said Twilight, "Without further adieu, I'll explain how it works. We all hook ourselves up to the machine and we simulate battles like you have real battles. I've managed to set a system of respawns so we can return to life after every death, returning to a designated spawn room. I've preprogrammed several combat scenarios as well. But before we begin, we will each receive specific instructions in the forms of interviews from our human friends here. We have been edited in as the ones killing and being killed for the purpose of effect. So, is everyone ready?"
Everyone and everypony hooked themselves up to their designated location as their "training videos" began...

Author's Note

Well, my first chapter since my departure. Enjoy.

Meet the Dash

A
Rainbow Dash was crouched down when the metal door opened up, letting the sun spill in. Derpy right behind her, rocket launcher in hand, and their other teammates not far behind, they examined what they were up against in this assault. They saw Twilight Sparkle, now with arms and legs and bearing a resemblance to the sniper, (with the exception of her mane and skin colors, which remained how they were when she's a pony) quickly zooming out of scope, Applejack (Now in overalls and a rubber glove over her right hand) running by Rarity (dressed in a full body dress and balaclava, her hair dangling from a hole in the back), then past a level 1 sentry that she had set up, and finally past an enemy Derpy (who klutzily attempted to juggle for a hysterical Pinkie Pyro). Dash grinned. "Piece of cake," she thought to herself. She realized that her wings were gone, but she didn't care. She didn't need flight to beat these BLU posers. Using her new hands, she let an empty shell fly out of her scattergun, and began to run forward, right behind her teammates. The RED (Reliable Equestrian Demolition) team ran out of their base and towards the battlefield. The sentry, as well as a newly-arrived Cutie Mark Crusaders (who had been magically combined into one pony that looked similar to the Heavy) began laying down suppressing fire on the REDs. Rainbow Dash dodged bullets and other projectiles left and right, making her way across the bridge. She ran over train tracks, continuing to dodge the enemy fire. She doubled jumped across a considerable gap, firing a scattergun shot mid-jump. A rocket flew by her and fire came dangerously close to her, but she managed to avoid them as Derpy and Pinkie gave chase on the tracks while the train was on it's way. Dash managed to run across the track, just barely dodging the train that had temporarily sent Derpy and Pinkie to their maker.
I
A short while after the battle, a unicorn (whom Twilight Sparkle had given permission to film the battles and interview the ponies) went to Rainbow Dash to find out what she was all about.
"Um, I-I don't even know where to start with you", said Dash a bit sheepishly. "I mean, do you even KNOW who you're talking to?"
A
The BLU (Buckers League United) CMC Heavy was about to chow down into it's favorite treat: a nice, delectable sandvich. That is, until RED Rainbow Dash showed up and poked it with her bat.
"Yo what's up?" She asked coolly.
I
"Do you have any idea? Any Idea, who I am?"
A
The BLU CMH (Cutie Mark Heavy) attempt to smash Rainbow Dash with its fist and a mighty cry of "Oh, nada!" while Rainbow Dash screamed in terror.
I
"Basically? Kind of a big deal."
A
Rainbow Dash attempted to strangle the CMH with her bat while she was on it's back, it struggling to maintain its breath, eventually knocking her off.
I
Dash flexed her new arm muscle and said "Oh, man, that's beautiful" and giggled a little.
A
The CMH was ready for payback, attempting to crush Rainbow Dash's skeleton with it's fists.
I
"You listening? Okay. Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and sista? I hurt ponies" said Dash as she made a hoofprint on the camera.
A
Dash nailed a heavy hit with her bat right into the CMH's crotch with a mighty "BOINK!"
I
"I'm a force-a-nature."
A
Dash let loose another swing with a mighty "BONK!", this time straight up against the CMH's head, forcing it to look up as well, following the direction of the swing.
I
"If you were from where I was from, you'd be f**kin' dead!"
A
The CMH, down but not out, reached for its sandvich in desperation. Dash would show no mercy. She quickly jumped on top of some nearby crates, jumped off of the crates and rained sweet sweet pain down upon the CMH, nailing straight in the head with her bat, sending it to its maker.
I
Dash threw her hands in the air and shouted "WOO!".
A
Dash decided to reward herself with a tasty sandvich lunch on top of a pile of dead weight and lard while sea birds cried out in the distance.

Author's Note

To avoid confusion, especially if you haven't seen any of the meet the team videos, The system will work like this:
An I will be placed above each interview part (if there is one), whereas an A will indicate the action.
Also, please tell me how I did in the conversion process of video to story with pony edits!!!