Night time. You'd turned nocturnal since you'd become close to Luna. It was a little strange at first, but you'd gotten used to moonlight. Two years today. That was how long you've been in Equestria. Funny to think that two years ago you woke up in a cave, and now you were dating a princess. Life here wasn't all that different from back home. There were some differences, sure, but nothing you couldn't get used to.
Except the toilets. That took some work to get used to. A pony toilet was a hop skip and a jump away from being just a slightly raised hole in the ground. Anyways. Back to now. You couldn't sleep. It was nearly noon, and you were tired, but you were having issues falling asleep. Taking care to not wake Luna, you got up and decided to go for a little walk around the castle. Maybe you just needed some air or something.
You soon found yourself sitting on a bench in the royal gardens. It was a quiet and peaceful place during the night, but during the day it was buzzing with activity. Foreign dignitaries were chatting with each other, some wealthier ponies would use the gardens to meet and discuss business deals, but that wasn't what caught your eye.
"Shining? Is that you?"
"Hey monkey man! What are you doing up?"
"Couldn't sleep. What brings you to the gardens?"
"Had some time off, figured I'd come here and catch some fresh air. Mind if I join you?"
"My bench is your bench." You scooted over to make room for him.
"So something bothering you? I never see you up at this hour."
"Dunno. Just... couldn't sleep."
"Somethin you wanna talk about?"
"That's just it, I can't explain it, but I just feel... off."
"Well, you do look a little pale. Maybe you should go see--"
"Nah, I'm not gonna pester the doctors. They've got better things they could be doing with their time than trying to cure my insomnia."
"Princess Luna might disagree." You looked over to face him.
"You plan on telling her?"
"...No. It's not my business." You nodded and returned to gazing at the gardens. "...Hey, you think you might come to Cadance's birthday party this weekend?"
"I think that could be arranged. You'll just have to give me a time so I can hopefully get some sleep in beforehand."
"Yeah no problem. So how're you and Luna doing?"
"Pretty good, not too... much..." That didn't feel good. You felt like... like...
"Anon? You alright?" Right just then was the moment your stomach decided to empty itself.
"I... I don't..." Colors were blurring and swirling around you as you tried to stand up.
"Somepony get the paramedics!" Shining was standing now, giving you a worried look.
"I think I'd better..." That was all you managed to say before your legs gave out and you fell down.
"Anonymous! Guards!"
The last thing you remembered was the sound armor clanking furiously as ponies rushed around you. When you came to, you were in a bed of some sort. Looking around, it was clear you'd been taken to the hospital wing of the castle. Great. If Luna found out—
"Anonymous!" Too late. You looked towards the origin of the voice to find Luna standing beside your bed.
"Luna? What happened?"
"I was going to ask you the same question. I was sleeping when some guards told me you'd passed out in the gardens. What were you doing up so late?"
"I couldn't sleep..." Your head was throbbing in pain, and you felt like you could lose your lunch again at any moment. "Do... Do the doctors know what's wrong?"
"They tell me it is just a fever."
"I've never passed out because of a fever before..."
"It sounds strange to me as well, but the doctors assure me that is all they could find that was wrong with you."
"Given I'm not a pony, that doesn't surprise me. Say, where's Shining Armor?"
"He's with Celestia right now, informing her of what happened."
"What time is it?"
"Almost three in the afternoon."
"Shit, I'm sorry moonbutt, I shouldn't--"
"Don't worry Anonymous. I'll be fine; it's you that I'm worried about."
"Well I don't suppose they'll let me out of here, will they?"
"I might be able to convince them to do so."
"Thanks moonbutt."
She sighed and left you to speak with one of the nurses on staff. It was going to take you a week to get back to your regular sleep schedule. Being up at three pm... You hadn't been up at this hour since before you and Luna got serious. You also hadn't been this sick in a while. Had you eaten something nasty?
Not that you could think of... Maybe it was allergies? Hah! Yeah. Right. Just a fluke bug or something. Nothing to really worry about, you'll probably be back on your feet in a day or two. You owed Shining though. Least you could do is show up to that party he invited you to.
So long as Cadance didn't put you under some stupid love spell with a coconut again. Luna had used the coconut to knock you over the head and bring you back to reality. Something about referring to her as moonbutt in front of other ponies... Ah well. Luna was approaching you with the nurse at her side.
"You can go back to your room, but if you feel even the slightest bit sick, you make sure to come straight here, understand?"
"I will make sure that he does, thank you nurse."
"Yes princess. Of course." The little nurse bowed and left the two of you alone.
"Sweet. Let's get some sleep then."
"That would be nice. But I was making no joke about bringing you back here if you so much as sneeze funny."
"Fair enough. I outta be fine in a day or two anyways."
"I hope so. Come now, let’s get a move on."
"Right."
As the two of you walked back to her bedroom, your thoughts drifted back to just how tired you were. Maybe you just needed some sleep. Yeah. If you don't feel better after some quality sleep, you'll go back to the hospital wing. Lest moonbutt find another coconut and take you by force.
When the two of you were finally in bed, you drifted off to sleep quickly. Turns out being sick would do that to you, you just needed to realize you were sick. Hope this bug went away quick, you didn't particularly care for a diet of soup when you could be having steak. You tossed and turned in the little sleep you managed to get.
Your stomach was upset, and you woke several times to find yourself sweating profusely. Making sure to not wake Luna, you would always make your way to the bathroom and wash your face with cool water. Nothing medical, it just felt good. After several occurrences of being awoken from your miserable slumber, it was finally dusk. You sat on the side of the bed in a cold sweat, watching the sun set. Hearing Luna stir, you decided now would be as good a time as any. At least she'd gotten some rest.
"Anonymous? How are you feeling?"
"I--I think I need to--" That was all you managed before a violent coughing fit took you.
"Anonymous? Anonymous!" Using her wings to get an extra boost, Luna leaped over to your side of the bed to get a better look at you. "Anonymous, you should have said something! We need to go to the hospital wing, now."
"Y-ya know, I-I think--" There was no way you had that much to eat for lunch. Your stomach agreed, and released bile instead. ”...Fuck."
"Can you stand?" You stood up on your shaky legs. Confirmed for standing, but as soon as you took a step you tripped over yourself. Luna ducked under you so that you landed on her back. "We don't have time for this. Climb on."
Luna had only let you ride her once before. And that was because you asked nicely. You must look as bad as you feel. Even though your limbs felt as though they could detach at any moment, you managed to pull yourself onto Luna's back. Resting your head against hers, she began carefully moving towards the door.
Once you were in the hall, she extended her wings to help keep you upright. Apparently, you weren't doing too great a job keeping upright. You started shaking violently now, and your head was starting to itch. Feeling your fits become more violent, Luna stopped walking all together.
"Forgive me Anonymous."
"Wha--"
You felt that horrid pressure on your ears and your lungs seemed to suddenly compress. Just when you thought the lack of oxygen was going to get you, the pressure was gone and you could breathe again. As you took in deep breaths of air, you barely registered Luna yelling for a nurse.
For the second time in less than twelve hours, you passed out. Once more, you awoke in a hospital bed with a splitting headache. This time, Luna and Celestia were at your bedside, along with two nurses and a doctor.
"So, I take it I'm not doing so hot?"
"That's... one way to put it."
"What're you doin up, Sunny?" Celestia didn't roll her eyes at your nickname for her like she normally did. Yeah, you're in deep shit.
"Anonymous, we're going to try using magic to heal you. Are you ready?"
"As I'll ever be." Celestia nodded to the unicorn that was your doctor, and his horn lit up. You mildly registered a wince of pain somewhere in your left arm, but it was a dull throb at best.
"This isn't working. He's still pale and sweating."
"I'm sorry Princess Luna, but that's the best I can do. He's just not reacting to the treatment."
"Then I shall try."
"Sister--"
Before Celestia could say anything more, Luna's horn was aglow along with your body. Then the pain hit. Hard. There was an extreme heat all over your body mixed with your skin feeling extremely sensitive. Your nerves were on fire inside and out, so your body reacted accordingly. As Luna dropped you unceremoniously back onto the bed, you managed to stop screaming. After your nerves calmed down and you opened your eyes, you acknowledged that Luna was apologizing profusely.
"--I didn't mean for that to--" With your throat being horse from that little episode of screaming, you simply reached over and pulled her into a hug as best you could. She tried to help, that’s what mattered. "We'll fix this Anonymous. I swear it."
You didn't want to release her from that embrace, but your body made the decision for you by expelling more bile. Why? Why was this happening? Had you been overly cruel to puppies in a past life? Perhaps you'd punched a baby? Whatever you did, it must've been bad. This bug wasn't giving up without one hell of a fight.
Several hours later, the nurses had applied ice to various parts of your body in an attempt to cool you down. It was working, but they had to change the ice packs at an alarming rate. At least now you knew not to trust magic when it came to this bug. Fine. We do this the hard way. Finally giving in to impulse, you reached up and scratched that horrible itch. Only to die a little inside when your hair came back with your hand.
"Nurse. Nurse!"
After you'd calmed down from your previous little episode, you'd managed to convince Luna and Celestia to get some rest. The medical staff had enough to deal with; they'd be better off without royalty looking over their shoulders. The nurse ran over to your bedside to see what had gotten you up in arms.
"I'll get the doctor. Stay in bed, alright?"
You nodded and lay back down from your sitting position, staring at your fist full of hair. Were you radioactive or something? Fuck. You're gonna die in Equestria. It made sense, this was radiation poising. The hair falling out, the morbidly upset stomach, the overall weakness and lack of energy. It all adds up! A minute or two passed by before the doctor came running inside, followed closely by two nurses.
"Anonymous? What happened?"
"I was just scratching my head, and then... this." You held out your hand, showing him the hair.
"...I see." The nurses went to work changing your ice packs for the fifth or sixth time this hour, and the doctor went over to review what looked like a medical journal.
"So doc, am I gonna live?" The doctor walked over to you, toting the medical journal with his magic.
"I'm... I'm not sure, Anonymous. I've never seen anything like this before. We'll have to get some experts in here as soon as possible."
"I thought you were the best in Equestria?"
"I'm the best general practitioner in Equestria, yes. But this calls for the best known specialists. You're one doozey of a patient, Anon."
"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not, but whatever you say doc."
"Nurse, send for Princess Luna--"
"Aw, come on doc, do you really have to?"
"I'm afraid so, Anonymous. She requested to be informed if your condition worsened, and I think this counts as worse." The nurse scurried out of the room to retrieve moonbutt. Great. Time to worry moonbutt even more.
"So doc, what's the plan?"
"The plan is to try and get you stable, but I'm not sure how to do that given we don't know what's wrong."
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Can you rid yourself of this condition?"
"Uhhh..."
"Then no, there isn't much you can do. I'm sorry to be blunt Anonymous, but this is beyond me."
"It's okay doc. Maybe--" You were cut off by a sudden and sharp pain in your left leg.
"Anonymous? What's happening?"
"I... M-my leg... Oh god it hurts--" You were cut off again by an increase in the sharpness of the pain. It was as though someone was stabbing you through the leg and twisting the knife. Slowly.
"Hold on Anon, I'm going to give you something for the pain." He ran over to the medical cabinets, rummaging through their contents until he acquired a vial and syringe. "Now, this may hurt a bit, but it's all we've got right now."
"D-do it." Needing no more convincing, he extracted some liquid from the vial and injected it into your arm. After a few seconds, the pain began to dull slightly.
"Ahh, thanks do--" Only to be replaced with an even sharper pain. "Oh FUCK--"
"Anonymous? What's wrong? Does it still hurt?"
"YA THINK?!" Your nerves were on fire now. Every piece of fabric on your body felt abrasive, moving was like swimming in a pool full of razorblades. The doctor looked at you with a mix of fear and confusion.
"I don't understand, this should be working!"
"Lemme be the first to tell ya doc-- IT'S NOT WORKING--" That physically hurt to say. You lay your head back on the pillow even though it felt absolutely horrid.
"Where's that damned nurse?!" As if on cue, the nurse entered the room once more.
"Doctor, Princess Luna is on her way--"
"That's of no concern right now, wake the emergency staff! We have a serious situation!"
"Yes sir!" She was out of the room just as quickly as she had entered. "Don't worry Anonymous, we'll figure this out." So he keeps saying.
It hurt to think at this point. Like your brain was trying to get out of your head and find a new one. You couldn't really blame it for trying either. First you couldn't sleep, then you started losing your lunch, followed by your hair, and now you could barely move without your body screaming in pain. At least it can't get worse, right? …Right?
The doctor was flipping through his medical journal so fast the pages should've caught fire.
"Gah, worthless book!" He tossed the text aside and began pacing. "What can I-- that's it." He looked from you to the medical cabinet.
“What're you gonna do, doc?"
"Sleep should stop the pain; maybe give your body a chance to react."
"I don't exactly feel like sleeping right now, doc."
"That's what this is for," he said, levitating another vial and syringe over to you.
"What's it gonna do, knock me out or something?"
"We can only hope. It seems your body is rejecting any direct attempts to heal you or alleviate your pain."
"So what if it rejects this?"
"Then I'll eat a hat."
”But--" Before you could object further, the needle was in your arm and the fluid being pushed into your circulatory system. Sneaky doctor. Whatever that stuff was, it worked. You were out like a light before he pulled the needle out of your arm. At the very least, you were finally going to get some sleep.
Several hours later, you awoke to find that the pain in your leg had dulled and spread to engulf the entire leg. Looking around, the room was now buzzing with activity. It seemed like the entire medical staff was here. Luna was speaking with the doctor and a minotaur you'd never seen before.
"Princess Luna, doctors, he's awake." You'd failed to notice the nurse that was beside your bed.
"Tattle-tale." Luna was at your side nearly instantly, followed in short by the doctor and minotaur.
"Anonymous? How are you feeling?"
"As good as I can, I guess. Any news?"
"There were some... developments while you were sleeping."
"I can see that. Apparently you weren't kidding about getting some specialists."
"That's... not what he's talking about, Anonymous." You looked over to Luna.
"Then what’s--"
"Check your head."
"Umm... alright? What's so--" As soon as your hand made contact, you figured out what was wrong. There was supposed to be hair there. Luna was looking at you, worry obvious in her features. "Well, at least I don't have to worry about combing my hair." She let a grin creep up on her mouth, but the worry remained in her eyes. "So, what’s the plan now?"
"Well, we've been trying to figure that out all morning. The specialist all--"
"Wait a minute; did you say it was morning doc?"
"Yes, that's right." You looked back over to Luna.
"Moonbutt. Get some sleep. You shouldn't be up this late."
"I'll decide when I should sleep."
"I'm deciding for you, get some sleep. Now. Your kingdom needs its leaders--"
"And I need you. Argue all you want, I'm staying." Dammit moonbutt. "As I was saying, no one here has any idea what's wrong. We've thought of everything we can, and nothing seems to fit."
"That's what I get for being--" Uh oh. There it is again. You looked over to your left to aim for the trashcan, and proceeded to empty your stomach's contents into it. After you'd stopped dry heaving, you sat back up in your bed. "Well."
"And that's a sign that we need to put you on fluids. We probably should've done so a bit earlier. Nurse?"
"If you should have done so, why didn't you? Did you think that simply because--"
"Moonbutt! Calm down. He's been up all night trying to figure this out, give him a break."
"I decide wh--"
"LUNA. LISTEN TO ME OR GO TO BED." That got her attention. It also hurt your throat, but whatever. You had to stand up for your doctor; even if his best wasn't working. He was at least trying.
"I'm... I'm sorry Anonymous..."
"Listen, I'll be fine, ok--" Didn't even get to finish your word that time. More bile in the trash can.
"Not exactly convincing, Anonymous." You simply laid your head back and let the nurses set up your fluid drip. As the drip was set up and started, you barely registered a dull pain right at the base of your spine. Great. Another one for the list.
"Luna, just let the doctor do his thing. He's doing the best he can, all things considered."
"...I suppose." A thought struck you right then. Not a good one, either.
"Hey, doc? Can I talk to you for a second?"
"Certainly, is something wrong?"
"I just thought of something..." You lowered your voice to that of a whisper. "...This isn't contagious, is it?"
"I... Now that I think about it, I don't really know. We haven't seen any other cases though, so I would think--"
"Quarantine me. Now."
"What?"
"Until you know for certain that whatever I have isn't contagious, I don't want to risk infecting anyone else." He opened his mouth to protest, but you cut him off. "Especially Princess Luna." He closed his mouth and put a stern look on his face.
"...You make a good point, Anonymous. You realize what a quarnti--"
"I know exactly what it implies. Do it doctor. You know the risks as well as I do if I'm not quarantined."
"...I suppose that is something else we should've done sooner... Very well." He trotted away from your bed and began speaking to one of the nurses, who then began evacuating the room.
"Anonymous? What's going on? What did you tell him?"
"Get out Luna. I'm under quarantine."
"What?!"
"Until I know what this thing is, I don't want to risk you catching it."
"It is my risk to take."
"Not today it isn't. I won't lose you to this damned bug."
"Are you implying--"
"I'm saying if this bug kills anyone, it's not going to be you. Now go; please."
"...Very well."
"Doesn't mean you can't come check on me every now and again."
"...Through a quarantine barrier..."
"It doesn't sound all that fun, but hey. It's for the best. Now go." Without another word, she left the room with the others, leaving you with the doctor and a couple nurses. "So doc, how's a quarantine work in Canterlot?" Over the course of three or so hours, you found out exactly how quarantine worked in Canterlot.
You were moved into a sterile room, and could only be visited by unicorns that could project a sterilizing force field around themselves. Luna wasn't allowed into the room. Even though she was royalty, Celestia would enforce the quarantine. She knew what could happen if Luna were to get such a mysterious disease. That, and she didn't want to lose Luna either.
Who knows what this bug would do to a pony? No sense trying to find out on FUCKING ROYALTY. Luna wasn't of a similar mindset though... She needed you. You'd been one of the few to treat her as an equal rather than fear her. And the first to show any interest in her in what was apparently, a very long time. That made it all the more difficult for Celestia to restrain her when you would empty your stomach's contents.
Lately though, you were more interested in what the ROYAL FUCK was going on with your body. Whatever this bug was, it was putting you through hell. First you lose your hair, and now... this. A tail. At least, that's what you thought it was. Its appearance had confounded you as well as the medical staff. It would grow quick enough that you could measure its growth by the hour. Yet it would grow slow enough to drag out as much pain as possible.
It was like an exposed nerve. Every little movement would fire more pain receptors than you thought possible. Wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't move when it hurt. You could move it; it had muscles, but fuck if it didn't hurt every time you moved it. Pain seemed to make you try and move it out of instinct. A natural reaction, for a creature with a tail; but it was proving to do more harm than anything right now.
Along with the beginnings of an overly sensitive tail, your hands and feet had begun to ache. Dull pain would quickly turn into sharp pain should you try and move your fingers or toes. Add your fingernails and toenail falling out, and your appearance made for one gruesome... thing. Why would a world as innocent as this one have such a brutal disease? Why wouldn't it just kill you and get it over with?
There were two things that kept you from going completely insane. The first was knowing that Luna was keeping an eye on you. She wouldn't let you die without a fight. The other was that, eventually, there would be sweet relief from the pain. Be it a cure, the disease finishing its run, or death; you'd get some relief from the wretched pain.
Worst part about all this was that the pain seemed to be messing with you mentally as well. Four times four was twelve, right? No, that's not right... Is it? Wait, why the fuck were you worried about that? The most curious effect however, was the arrival of some strange urges. For whatever reason, scratching behind your ears felt much better than you'd ever recalled.
Several hours later, you were sure you were going crazy. Luna and Celestia were arguing about something on the other side of your door, but you couldn't quite here what. In fact, the only reason you knew it was Luna and Celestia arguing, was because Luna was using her 'Royal Canterlot voice.' She wouldn't be arguing with any other pony like that. No other pony would stand up to her for that long. Finally, the arguing had stopped and Luna was saying something to you over the intercom.
"Anonymous? We've found something that may be a solution to whatever it is that is affecting you. Try to remain calm. Do you understand?" Remain calm? Just what was this 'solution' she'd found?
"Uhh, okay?" Soon after, a purple unicorn sporting a tiara of some sort entered your quarantine room. "Hey now, you know how a quarantine works, right?"
"Yes, I am very aware. Trust me, magic is my specialty."
"Alright. So long as you know. So what's you’re... you’re..." Before you could complete your sentence, you wretched once more into the bin to your left. ”...Sorry about that."
"It's okay, I understand."
"Now then. What's your name?"
"My name is Twilight Sparkle. I'm here to help the Princesses find a cure for you."
"Really? No offense Ms. Sparkle, but they've gone through quite a bit of specialists already. What exactly is it that you think you can do?"
"Oh no no no, I'm not the one with the possible cure. I'm here to help contain it."
”Contain it? What exactly -is- this cure, and why is it sounding more and more like something I don't want?"
"I don't have time to explain in detail. Containing him will take some effort. Just... try not to panic."
"But--" Before you could state your concerns further, the unicorn's tiara and eyes started glowing a bright white. For a minute or so, she just stood there. Was this supposed to be the cure or what? As if on cue, something else entered your quarantine room. You were going to voice your concern for the creature, until you got a good look at it.
It looked like it had a similar disease, but was much worse off than you. Every part of this creature seemed like it was slapped together. A hodge-podge of different species with none to truly call its own.
"Oh my, how delightful!"
"Just what exactly are you?"
"What am I? That's rather rude, monkey boy. For the time being, just call me Discord." That voice. You knew that voice.
"I know you... I recognize your voice from something..."
"Really? Strange, I'm quite certain I've never met you before. Now then, let's get down to some fun, shall we?"
"Wait a minute, what exactly are you going to do?"
"Oh a little of this, a little of that. You are quite the delectable assortment of chaos, my dear monkey."
"Yeah, I've seen better days."
"Really?" He slithered over to you and began dragging a talon lightly over your stomach. "...My my my, how delightfully chaotic!"
"What is it?"
"Isn't it obvious my boy? You're turning into a pony!"
"What?!"
"You really didn't figure that out on your own? It's plain as day. Think about it, have you ever seen another -living- member of your species in this condition before?"
"Well, no. But--"
"Then you're not dying, now are you?"
"Not so far, no."
"Look at yourself! You've got a tail, your insides are twisting and turning like never before, and your bones are starting to ache, aren't they?"
"...They are. How did you--?"
"Chaos is my specialty, child."
"So... Did you do this to me?!"
"Sadly no, but I applaud whoever did! Their work is magnificent, I simply must see more!"
"Discord, remember our agreement. The other elements of harmony are right outside if you decide to try anything funny."
"But of course Ms. Sparkle. You want me to cure Anonymous of his disease, yes?"
"Yes."
"By all means, please."
"I'm afraid I can't do that."
"And why is that?"
"Because that would suck all the fun out of this dreary castle!"
"Girls--!" Ms. Sparkle didn't get to say much after that, as Discord snatched the tiara away from her and threw her out of the room.
"Now then, let's have some fun." He snapped his fingers, and the door slammed shut. Shouting could be heard outside, but Discord didn't seem to mind.
"So what are you going to do to me? Kill me?"
"Kill you? You know nothing of chaos! Killing you would end my fun before it started! No no, let's have a look inside you and see what's going on." With that, he dug a talon into your chest and cut you straight down to the stomach. It hurt. God it hurt, but you were still alive and there was a disturbing lack of blood.
"Wh-what are you--"
"Quiet boy. I told you, I'm taking a look. Don't you listen?" That was one way to put it. He peered and poked various organs and giggled with glee as you winced in pain. Another snap of his fingers later, and it was as though you'd never been splayed out. "Simple enough."
That disturbing statement was followed by that same talon he used to fillet you lighting up bright white. He reached down and held the talon against your chest. A few seconds later, and his twisted face expressed confusion. "Odd. This should be working."
"I'm not doing anything." He retracted his arm and put his lion paw to his chin in thought.
"Strange..."
"Good strange or bad strange?"
"Chaotic strange, of course." Of course. Should've seen that one coming. "Let's have a look-see at that noggin of yours, shall we?" He leaned over to your ear and peered inside. Taking his lion paw, he began to reach -into- your ear canal.
Again, hurt like a motherfucker. Your thoughts would spin and twist as though he was physically manipulating them with his hand. He would snicker and giggle occasionally, but eventually retrieved his arm from your skull. After your ears popped, you looked over at his giggling form.
"Well? Find whatever it is you were looking for?"
"Of course not. I didn't expect to."
"THEN WHY DID YOU JAM YOUR ARM IN MY EAR?!"
"Worth a shot."
"Why are you tormenting me? I'm in enough pain with this damned bug already."
"I told you, it's not a bug. Sadly, it's also not contagious. A shame, really. I'd love to see the chaos erupt from a pony contracting this."
"Why would you want to inflict so much suffering and pain on these ponies?"
"Pain and suffering? No no, that isn't my style. I dabbled in it once, much too grim and boring for my taste."
"That's good to know... I think."
"Besides, you're the one making this difficult on yourself. If you would just relax and let the chaos consume you, it would be over far faster than you'd think."
"What?"
"To quote a song you've had stuck in your head for some time now... Hmm, let me see if I can recall this correctly..." His voice was now very familiar, and he was singing a song that had indeed been stuck in the back of your head for a while now.
"I can see inside you, the sickness is rising, don't try to deny what you feel. It seems that all was good has died, and is decaying, in me. It seems you're having some trouble in dealing with these changes; living with these changes." His voice shifted back to his 'normal' speaking voice.
"Well? What do you think? Fitting, isn't it?"
"I... That's a little creepy."
"Not my fault. It was in your head, after all."
"...Fair enough. So what, I just have to relax and stop fighting this thing?"
"I would think so."
"But if chaos is your specialty, why don't you just turn me back into a human?"
"Now what would be the fun in that? Besides, for whatever reason, I can't."
"You cut me open and stuck your arm in my ear, all without killing me, and you're telling me you can't fix me?"
"Indeed I am."
"Bullshit."
"Call it what you will, it doesn't change anything. Whoever did this to you took their time to make sure their work wouldn't be tampered with."
"Well... Thanks for trying, I guess."
"Indeed. It was a pleasure meeting you, Anonymous."
"I'm... Not so sure I'd call it that, but I can appreciate your trying to help."
"Oh! Before I go, there's something I must ask."
"And what is that?"
"I know you call Luna moonbutt, but have you ever called Celestia sunbutt?"
"No, I don't think that I have."
"That's a shame. You should try it some time. She was absolutely furious with me when we were together and I called her that. I'm surprised Luna isn't the same way with you."
"She only gets mad if I call her that in public. You and Celestia were a couple?"
"Is it really that hard to believe? I've been around as long as her and Luna. It was a younger time, before I'd discovered chaos."
"Funny, she never mentioned you..."
"We had a falling out, as it were."
"Oh. Things not go well?"
"I was playing with subatomic particles; she wouldn't stop pestering me not to... One thing led to another, and a nuclear winter happened. They still tell stories about it each year."
"You mean hearth's warming eve?"
"Yes, that's what they call it now."
"That was a nuclear winter? Wow."
"I'm sure the story has been twisted by word of mouth, but yes."
"Huh. I'll have to read up on Equestrian history some time."
"You do that. I'm off to stir up some delightful chaos!" With that, he was out the door. Some shouts and arguing later, Luna informed you that he'd been turned to stone and placed back in the gardens. Odd that a creature such as himself would go down so easily. Then again, you didn't get to witness the fight.
You know that feeling you get right before you puke? The sour taste fills your mouth before any of the liquid rejection does. The same sort of feeling was washing over you right now. Your entire body felt... sour. As though it was trying to separate itself from your being. Like it was trying to escape the fate Discord had foretold.
Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. Luna was at the door trying desperately to get into the room. There was a sound you hadn't heard in a while. Celestia was shouting at Luna, restraining her from entering the room, presumably. Wasn't much Luna could do anyways. Your body reacted to a sharp and sudden pain, bending into an arc that would make a gymnast cringe. Oh FUCK. Why won't your body just let you-- ah, much better. The blackness consumed you, and your only hope was that you wouldn't wake up.
No such luck though. You knew you were dreaming; there was no other explanation for what you were witnessing. Not even magic was this... Random.
"Oh but Anonymous, surely you can see beyond the chaos?" What was that voice?
"Who's there? What's going on?"
"Aha! Finally! I've been waiting to talk to you." Black clouds descended from the heavens and began to accumulate before you.
"Man, this dream is fucked up." The clouds wisped and rasped, shrieking through the air until they formed... a disturbingly familiar silhouette. Familiar, but not identical.
"What... What are you?"
"Oh come now Anonymous, you're not that dense. We'll skip the babble. My name is Eris."
"...This is the weirdest dream I've ever had."
"You've seen nothing yet. It is a dream, but it is not quite yours."
"What do you--"
"All in due time, Anonymous. Being a dream, time has little bearing here. I plan to answer more than a few of your questions."
"...You're much nicer than--"
"Than my father? Of course! He doesn't like rules, so he gets in trouble or carried away. Let me show you something, Anonymous." This... creature-- "I'm a draconequus, Anonymous. I am discord's daughter. What does that mean to you?"
"You're... you're not going to poke my brain, are you? Or cut me open?"
"Of course not! He was foolish to do so. Look at this, and see where the differences between myself and my father lie." She gestured towards a large black pearl, floating in the sky. Upon further scrutiny, its surface yielded images. Images of what, you weren't sure. Energy? Light perhaps? "What do you see?" You squinted at the pearl, taking in the exotic beauty of the thing. The light appeared to be just under the surface of the pearl, spinning and swirling of its own accord.
"I see... Light? Energy? I'm not really sure..."
"Look closer." You continued to gaze upon the pearl and it's alien lights. They would dance, swirl, and even explode, only to reconstruct themselves as though nothing happened. Then, one of the lights began to behave more... erratically than before. The other soon followed, both twitching as though sick.
"What... What's ha--"
"Ssshh, watch."
The lights continued twitching and twisting in an almost sickening method. One of the strands of light curled in on itself and began to spasm and tremble. The other light had formed a strand as well, but appeared to be... watching its relative with interest. It too started to twitch though, and seemed as though it would become lost in this... chaos. It would spasm in bursts, as opposed to its partner.
The bursts would happen quicker and quicker, each more violent than the last. Just as you thought it would suffer the same fate as the other strand, it formed a ring and began spinning. Round and round it spun, reaching incredible speeds. Eventually though, it slowed to a steady spin and appeared to balance itself.
"The one that is spinning is me. The other, my father. I learned from his mistakes. I learned to control my chaos."
"But why?"
"Why not?"
"...I suppose there is that."
"Now, enough about me, let's talk about you. Do you know what's happening to you?"
"I'm turning into a pony, right?"
"Not... exactly. I'll show you what you'll become later. Right now, I'm going to tell you why."
"...I'm all ears."
"Look at the pearl. What do you see now?"
"I see... Luna."
"Do you know what she dreams of? Her deepest darkest desires?" You chose to remain silent. "She dreams of you, Anonymous. But not in the manner you think. She wishes for you to be normal. To be a stallion. Her prince."
"Why would she want me to be a pony? She's never--"
"Of course she hasn't told you, you fool. She's happy with you and what you are, yes. But she wants... more." As Eris was speaking, the pearl's image of Luna began to twist and warp. "Did you think that you could ever have a relationship with a pony, and it be a normal one? She didn't. Not until you came along." The pearl was showing you and Luna walking along a corridor in the castle at night, chatting.
"No, you changed everything. You gave her hope that she could have a normal relationship. The only catch? You're not a pony." Again the pearl's images twisted until Luna appeared in her bed chamber, staring out at the setting moon. "You just had to be human. One of a kind here in Equestria. Luna didn't want an 'exotic' partner; she wanted a simple, normal, pony partner. Something you could do nothing about." You broke your gaze away from the pearl to look at Eris.
"So why did you take it upon yourself to butt in? We were doing just fine before you started this mess!" Eris shuddered when you spoke. Not of fear, more like... pleasure.
"Ooohh I do love it when you stir up chaos like that. Sends a chill down my spine every time. Why did I butt in? Because I could do what you could not."
"And just what--"
"You know exactly what. Give her the relationship she wants. That's where your little condition comes in. She's in love with you. So, instead of finding her the perfect stallion--" Knowing what was coming didn't make it any easier to accept. "--make -you- that stallion! Brilliant, if I do say so myself."
"Then why not just up and change me? Why all the torturous pain? The drawn out changes?"
"That's what brings us to the now. Seeing as you -are- one of a kind, I've never meddled in your gene pool before." Oh no. "At first I thought that your body was simply going to exaggerate the process. But now, after getting a good look at my handiwork... It seems as though your body has other plans for my changes."
"Other plans? What do you mean?"
"Take a look at what your body is going to become, Anonymous" she said as she pointed to the pearl once more. You did as she said and gazed upon the sphere. What you saw... Disturbed you. On every level. You'd heard about these things from Luna, but you'd never seen one.
"Is that--"
"It's you, Anonymous. Or rather, it will be soon. Your body took my changes, and warped them further. You're going to be a changeling."
"No... No! There's got to be a way to stop this! Fix me! You stared this, now end it!"
"You really think I'd be here talking to you if it was so simple? You’re species must be very dense. Even chaos has its rules, Anonymous. They're there, no matter how diluted they may appear."
"You can't just stand there and tell me--"
"I'm not standing, I'm floating. And yes, I can, and I am. I stared this process with the need to make sure it wouldn't be interrupted by my pesky father. That being said, not even I can stop it now. You're too far gone. Believe me, I wanted you to be a stallion for your lovely Luna, but this is what you're stuck with now. Look on the bright side, now you can be -whatever- or -whoever- she needs or wants you to be."
"That's not exactly comforting. Why all this interest in Luna anyways? Why'd you even get involved in the first place?"
"Aaahhh, I suppose I can answer that. In part, it has to do with my mother."
"Your mother?"
"I believe you know her. Her name is Celestia."
"Bullshit."
"No, Celestia. You didn't think my father wouldn't do--"
"I don't even want to picture them like that."
"I would almost be insulted, but I know my father as well. Either way, he took me as an egg once he'd broken off with Celestia."
"So Luna is your aunt?"
"Something like that. I was there when Celestia banished Luna to the moon. She didn't know, but I heard her. I heard her wish her sister be happy. Now, I'm fulfilling that wish. The timing was perfect. With the changes your body is making to my changes, you'll likely live as long as, if not longer than Luna!"
"But I'll be a damn changeling!"
"Oh! I forgot to mention that. You may want to look out for Queen Chrysalis."
"Who's that?"
"Queen of the changelings. She'll likely want to mate with you. Many male changelings are drones, but your body is turning you into a changeling king of sorts."
"Well isn't that just perfect."
"If you can get past the fear of changelings by other ponies, then yes. You should be fine! So long as Chrysalis doesn't--"
"I get the idea. There is one more thing though..."
"Oh? And what's that?"
"This is my dream, right?"
"I suppose so, yes."
"So what happens if you die in my dream?" You lunged at her with all of your might, before she chuckled and snapped her fingers, sending you into blackness once more.
Something hurt. No, that's not quite accurate. Everything hurt. You were so sore, your very bones ached. Your eyes opened slowly in an effort to adjust to the harsh bright light of the make-shift quarantine room. Looking around, you were still alone in the room. The one question you should've asked Eris, you didn't.
Was this shit contagious? It didn't seem like it would be, but you still didn't want to risk it. Ah yes, Eris. She'd explained quite a bit in your dream. Like why this was happening. Well, more or less. Not that the why mattered now, there was nothing anyone or anything could do about it. Best you can hope to do is power through this hell as fast as possible. You tried to keep that in mind as you took a little personal inventory.
The urge to scream in terror was only barely suppressed. Patches of your skin were now jet-black, like that of a changeling. Where the changeling skin would meet your skin, it was almost scaly. The changeling skin felt odd to your touch. Smooth. Incredibly smooth. You were used to there being a minute amount of hair on your body, yet when you felt the changeling skin... The incredibly soft and velvety fur clashed with that of your remaining human features.
Your hands... no, you can't quite call them that anymore. Your left hand was no longer a hand, but a hoof. Your right hand was well on its way to becoming a hoof, from what you could tell. The fingers of your right hand had fused together, almost. It was some horrid mix of hand and hoof. Moving what was left of your fingers finally made you scream out. This wasn't your body. It was wrong. Shouldn't be happing. Or possible.
You must be going crazy. Yes, that's it. You've gone crazy. Maybe, maybe you're dreaming some horrible dream? You've got to wake up. Without warning, the door to your quarantine was smashed from its hinges and hurled into the wall behind you.
"ANONYMOUS!" It was Luna. "Anonymous, listen to me!" You realized you were still screaming, and promptly silenced yourself. "Anonymous..."
"Luna, stay away! You shouldn't be in here!" Tears were running down her face as she walked over to where you lay, and rested her head on your shoulder.
"No more. I do not care about quarantine, or infection or anything other than you. I will not lose you." Defeated, you reached around her and pulled her into a hug. Hell, for all you know she's already been infected. Holding her close, you began to softly weep into her mane.
"I know Anonymous. I understand. But you are not lost. You are with me, and I will guide you. You have been my light... My beacon. Now I shall be yours. You will not suffer this bitterness alone." You squeezed tighter around her neck and let your tears flow. It felt so good to finally break down.
"I know what it's like to get lost in something you cannot control. But you are not lost yet, and I shall guide you through this. You are still Anonymous. Still the same creature I fell in love with. No matter your appearance, I will never forget who you are. I swear to you, if we can't stop this, we will find a way to reverse it."
