“It’s hard for me not to think about how Prince Blueblood could have been. You must think I’m silly for dwelling on something like that,” said Rarity as she and Applejack strolled down the road.

They were both wearing large hats and sunglasses in an attempt to disguise themselves. They were traveling to a small town outside of Ponyville, and they didn’t want to risk running into anypony they knew. Who knows what they would think if they found out Applejack and Rarity were shopping at a store like “Everypony Does It.”

“Well you wouldn’t ever give him a second chance, would you?” asked Applejack, adjusting her cumbersome sunglasses.

“Of course not. After the way he treated me—.”

“And insulted my delectable treats.”

“And insulted your delectable treats,” Rarity agreed. “I feel guilty about even fantasizing about that scoundrel, but I suppose sometimes it’s hard to let go of a fantasy… even when reality has already slapped you across the face.”

“Well I reckon that’s what fantasies are for.”

Rarity smiled, but Applejack could tell she was still embarrassed. The two of them walked in silence for a little while before Rarity cheered herself up with her own bluntness.

“His flank was just so perfect though. I can’t help myself.”

The two of them shared a genuine laugh and continued on towards their destination. Rarity sighed and glanced over at her friend with a mischievous look that Applejack could see even through her sunglasses.

“So do you have a special somepony, Applejack?”

“If I did, I reckon I wouldn’t be tagging along on this shopping trip.”

“Oh don’t say it like that. You make it sound like we’re lonely and desperate. So is there somepony that you want to be your special somepony?”

“Oh. Well…” Applejack immediately thought of her brother; his strong body, his gentle heart. “Nopony in particular.”

“Come now, Applejack. You can be honest with me. I’ve certainly shared quite a few of my private matters with you.”

“You have to promise not to tell anypony.”

“I would never do such a thing.”

As much as she loved Rarity, Applejack doubted that she could keep something like this to herself for long. But it would be rude not to show some trust in her, so Applejack had only one option. “The mailpony,” she blurted out. Lying didn’t come naturally to her, but she tried her best to sound convincing.

“So it’s the mailpony, is it? How scandalous. Do you await his arrival everyday and feel yourself ready to faint once he finally arrives?”

“…yes. That’s exactly how it happens.”

“I must admit I’ve caught myself ogling from time to time. There’s something very dashing about him, and he has a lovely scrotum,” said Rarity, pronouncing the last word with a fancy accent.

“Scrotum?” asked Applejack, mimicking Rarity’s use of the fancy accent.

“Yes. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it.”

“Well I guess I try not to stare…”

“No need to play innocent with me, darling. His tail does little to cover it up. It would be difficult for even the most self-controlled pony not to take notice.”

While Rarity prattled on about Applejack’s cover-up pony, Applejack couldn’t help but imagine her brother bending over with his large testicles hanging in clear view.

“I take notice alright…” said Applejack to herself, but Rarity overheard her slightly dazed friend.

“Now that’s the spirit!”

Applejack blushed and came back to reality. She had lost count of how many times her wandering eye had gotten the better of her. Her body always managed to find a way of being more honest than her mind was willing to be.

“Takin’ even just a little peek like that makes me feel a tad guilty though…” said Applejack.

“Oh come now, Applejack. Everypony, mare or stallion, takes an innocent look every once and a while. What’s important is how you treat everypony, and you can’t let your fantasies get the best of you.”

“I guess…”

“And I’ve caught my fair share of stallions admiring me from behind. At least ladies such as ourselves know how to be discrete. Flattery only goes so far before it turns into disrespect.”

As Rarity discussed the dangers of ogling, she quickly looked over at the stallion passing them on the sidewalk. His short tail gave her a chance to see his shapely flank and the gentle bouncing of his masculinity. After barely a second had gone by, Rarity returned to looking at Applejack.

“Did you notice what I just did?” asked Rarity.

“No…”

“And neither did he.”

After their long walk, the two friends finally reached their destination. “Everypony Does It” didn’t look like the rundown dump that Applejack was expecting. It looked just as clean and inviting as any other store she’d been to. The inside was just as nice looking and orderly, but the presence of explicit merchandise obviously took some getting used to. Condoms of various sizes, vibrators and other toys shaped like any anything from a stallion to a dragon, magazines with mares and stallions in compromising positions, tight clothing, and jars of various lubricants lined the walls. The store was also much larger than Applejack had expected, not to mention busier. Thankfully for Applejack, everypony was focused on with their own shopping. She still felt more than a touch of nervousness.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been here,” said Rarity as she started taking a look at the nearest magazines. After opening up one of them to a random page, she let out a gasp that quickly turned into a spastic giggle.

“Whoa there,” said Applejack. “Calm down, Rarity.” She looked around to make sure nopony was staring at them.

“Sh-sh-sh-sh,” Rarity stuttered.

“Shush? You’re the one making all the noise.”

Applejack slowly crept over to Rarity’s side and looked at the magazine to see what had Rarity so speechless.

“No,” said Rarity. “Sh-Sh-Sh-Shining Armor!”

“You mean…?” said Applejack in a harsh whisper.

“Mhm!”

“And he’s…”

“Mhmmm!” Rarity squealed with her mouth shut. Her entire body shivered with excitement.

The page Rarity had opened up to had none other than Twilight Sparkle’s brother on it, and he was in an unquestionably seductive pose. He was lying on his side with his back facing the camera. His left hind leg was sticking up in the air and poking out from underneath was his engorged stallionhood.

Rarity flipped through the magazine until she found another photo of Shining Armor. He was sticking his flank in the air in front of a fully armored member of the royal guard. They both had playful looks on their faces and fully erect penises. Above them there was a title in large font that read “The Flank that Everypony’s F***ed.”

“Oh my,” said Applejack as she began to close the magazine. But before she could put it back on the shelf, a voice startled her. And it wasn’t Rarity’s.

“Hi Applejack! Hi Rarity!”

Applejack froze and couldn’t bring herself to turn to face the familiar voice. A pink hoof reached around her and grabbed the magazine.

“Oooooh the royal guard issue is finally out,” said the voice.

The cover of the magazine had the title “Hung Hunks” at the top and below was a photo of Princess Celestia sitting on a throne with two stallions on either side of it, each of them showing off their flanks to the camera. However, their stallionhoods weren’t visible thanks to a specially placed banner running across the cover: “Includes an exclusive interview with Princess Celestia!”

“Pinkie Pie?!”

“Yep. It’s me. I like your hats.”

“Well well,” said Rarity. “I never would have expected to find you in a place like this.”

Pinkie hopped between Applejack and Rarity to get a better look at the magazines. She grabbed the same issue of “Hung Hunks” that they had been flipping through.

“A couple months ago there was a special Wonderbolts issue. It was super duper hot!”

“I might have to borrow that from you,” said Rarity.

“You can borrow my whole collection if you want. I have a bunch.”

“One at a time would be best. Any more would just make it harder to hide from Sweetie Belle.”

Applejack still failed to adjust to the fact that Pinkie Pie had appeared out of nowhere in a store that sold pornography and sex toys. “Pinkie… Why exactly are you here?” she asked, as if there could be multiple answers to that question.

“To buy stuff, silly. I come here all the time. I thought about subscribing to Hung Hunks, but it’s so much more fun buying it in the store. There’s so much cool stuff here. Like this!” Pink Pie held up a bright pink box with a vibrator inside. Applejack pushed it down with her hoof, keeping Pinkie from proudly displaying it in the middle of the store.

“Pinkie! Do you really want everypony to see that?”

“Somehow I don’t think anypony here is going to mind,” said Rarity.

Applejack realized how silly what she just said was and allowed Pinkie to show her what she had found.

“It’s a vibrator alarm clock!” said Pinkie.

“That’s…interesting,” said Applejack. “You sure seem to enjoy this place.”

Pinkie Pie zoomed down to the end of the aisle and returned with another toy like a dog playing fetch.

“Ooooh! You should get this one!” she said, holding up a large toy shaped like a dragon’s penis.

“Uh…”

“I already have one like it,” said Rarity.

“You do?” asked Applejack.

“Well you didn’t think I showed you everything I had, did you?”

“Is it because you have a crush on Spikey Wikey?” teased Pinkie.

“Pinkie! I would never tarnish my own self-respect by pleasuring myself to lewd thoughts about Spike. Never!”

“Calm down, silly. I was only joking.”

“Well of course… I knew that.”

Pinkie Pie bounced to the end of the shelf and grabbed a magazine with a rather straightforward title: “Erotic Dragons.” The cover had two dragons forming the shape of a heart with their necks.

“So you like dragons too?” asked Applejack as casually as she could manage.

“Of course. But I’m buying this for somepony else.”

“That somepony must be too embarrassed to buy it themselves, huh?” said Applejack. “Can’t say I blame them. To be honest I still can’t believe I bucked up and came here myself.”

Rarity looked over Pinkie’s shoulder as she flipped through the dragon magazine. “So who is this somepony?”

“It’s a secret,” said Pinkie, pulling the “Erotic Dragons” away from Rarity as if the magazine itself was the secret.

“If this somepony is too embarrassed to buy this sort of thing themselves, I don’t think they’d want Pinkie sharing their identity,” said Applejack.

“It’s just so hard to ignore such a juicy secret, but respecting their wishes is the polite thing to do I suppose. You’re a good friend, Pinke Pie.”

Applejack couldn’t help but be curious herself. She took another copy of the magazine off the shelf and looked at a few random pages. She closed it after coming across a particularly graphic image of a dragon covered in an unmistakable white fluid.

“Do you not enjoy dragons, Applejack?” asked Rarity as she noticed her friend quickly closing the magazine.

“It’s not that. It’s just this one’s more…graphic than the other stuff we’ve looked at.”

“Well of course, silly,” said Pinkie “Look at the handy labels.”

Pinkie Pie pointed at the color coded labels along the wall above the shelves. They were in the orange section, which indicated how graphic the content was. "Hung Hunks" was in the green/yellow section. Applejack tilted her head to take a quick look at the red section. She caught a glimpse of a magazine entitled “Buckets of Cum” and turned away.

Pinkie Pie popped up from around a corner, presenting yet another item to her friends.

“If I bought this, would either of you want to try it out with me?”

Applejack read the label: Super Double-Sided Dildo.

“Uh…” was all Applejack could say.

“I prefer to do that sort of thing…in private,” said Rarity.

“Awww. I don’t know anypony else to ask," said Pinkie. "I don’t think Twilight likes this sort of thing. Fluttershy would probably be scared of hurting herself. And Rainbow Dash would probably just laugh.”

“Gosh, Pinkie,” said Applejack. “I didn’t know you…liked mares in that way.”

“Huh?” said Pinkie. “I just wanted to have some fun with my friends. And since you two like to shop here too, I thought it was worth a try.”

“Sorry, Pinkie Pie,” said Applejack. “I just wouldn’t feel comfortable with it…”

“Okey dokey.” Pinkie Pie disappeared around the corner again.

Pinkie Pie’s response sounded as upbeat as usual, but Applejack could sense of hint of genuine disappointment in her voice.

After spending quite some time in the store, Applejack found herself standing in front of the magazine shelf but unable to muster the courage to look inside any of them.

“Made a decision yet?” asked Pinke Pie.

Applejack started to panic. She had come all this way, and she couldn’t deny the allure of some of the magazines. But being put on the spot made it so hard for her to choose.

“Um… Any you recommend?”

“Of course. This one is one of my favorites.”

Pinkie Pie held up a magazine from the green section entitled “Rumblin’ and Tumblin’.” The cover had two large stallions rolling around together in a field.

“It focuses on stallions finding out that they like other stallions more than mares. Some of the stories are really cute. Like this one where two friends were having a race, and then they both tripped. And one of them landed on top of the other, and then they stared at each other for a while. And then they totally kissed out of nowhere! And then they realized they weren’t just friends. They were in love!”

Applejack couldn’t help but picture her brother and Braeburn in place of the stallions on the cover. She blushed and turned away from Pinkie, pretending to look at the rest of the magazines.

“Maybe…”

Pinkie Pie and Rarity spent the rest of their time browsing through nearly every shelf and display they came across, while Applejack shuffled between one section of magazines and just one display of neatly arranged dildos. Pinkie and Rarity showed no signs of embarrassment as they examined any piece of merchandise that interested them. Applejack on the other hand kept a comfortable distance between herself and the item she was looking at.

After being there for over an hour, the friends finally approached the front desk. Pinkie Pie put down a large stack of magazines with “Hung Hunks” on the top. Rarity purchased a small container of lubricant and a copy of “Hung Hunks” as well. Applejack placed her items on the counter, unable to make eye contact with the cashier. It was a mare with a dark mane and multiple piercings. Although she looked at Applejack’s purchases (yet another copy of “Hung Hunks” and a modestly sized dildo) with obvious indifference, Applejack fumbled around with her money nervously. She dropped half of her coins on the floor.

“Darn it. I’m so sorry,” she said.

The cashier waited patiently as Rarity and Pinkie helped pick everything up. Then Applejack finally took her bag and left the anxiety inducing store. She sighed with relief once they were a safe distance down the road. Rarity looked to be in an especially good mood, and Pinkie bounced with an extra spring in her step. Of course Applejack had to be the one to bring up what they seemed to have forgotten.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell Twilight about her brother being…well, ya know. But at the same time…this might be one of those situations where it’d be best to hear it from her friends and not some stranger. We could break it to her gently.”

Pinkie was too busy reading through her copy of "Hung Hunks" to catch everything Applejack had said. “Gently?” she asked. “No, it says here that Shining Armor likes it rough.”

“What?” asked Applejack.

“That’s what it says.”

“Pinkie, I was talking about—.”

“Page 12: Shining Armor has gladly taken the cock of every stallion in the royal guard. Some joked that that was his way of moving up the ranks. With a beautiful white flank and a long black cock to match, Shining Armor certainly shines as a valuable member of the team. When he’s not with his loving wife, he’s getting double teamed by a couple of his good friends in the royal guard.” Pinkie Pie read the magazine as if it were the most normal thing in the world and then placed it back into her bag.

Rarity looked like she was drunk with lust. She staggered behind her friends as they walked along. Her hat was as crooked as her grin. Applejack tried to stay calm and alert in case anypony decided to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Pinkie…” she continued after Pinkie’s interruption. “What I was trying to say was I think we might have to tell Twilight about her brother being in this here magazine. She’s bound to find out sooner or later, and I don’t want her feelings getting hurt.”

“Hung Hunks is respected reading material,” said Pinkie. “This one even has Princess Celestia on the cover.”

“I don’t think Twilight will care too much about all that…”

“But it’s Princess Celestia,” said Pinkie. She quickly pulled the magazine back out of her bag and stopped to read another paragraph. “It even has an interview with her.”

“I know Pinkie. I read—.”

“Page 5: I encourage my guards to explore their sexuality. It’s good for their self-esteem as well as their relationships with their fellow guards. No matter how disciplined a group of stallions like this is, things are bound to get tense. And sometimes the best and most immediate way to ease that tension is to engage in intimate activities.”

Applejack waited as patiently as she could for Pinkie to finish before speaking up. “Don’t you think it’d still be awkward and embarrassing for Twilight to find out that her brother has been doing something like this?”

“But Princess Celestia herself—.”

“That’s all well and fine, but Twilight will still find herself in a difficult situation. I don’t think she’ll love her brother any less or judge him for being in this magazine, especially with Princess Celestia being involved, like you said. But imagine if one of your sisters was in a magazine that showed her in compromising positions and talked about her doing all sorts of things with other mares. Wouldn’t you be a little embarrassed?”

Pinkie stopped to think for a second. “I don’t know. I think I’d be proud of her for doing what made her happy. As long as she’s having a good time and not hurting anypony else, I don’t think I’d feel anything other than smiles. And if seeing her strut her stuff makes other ponies happy, then that’s even better.”

“Well that’s mighty big of you, Pinkie. But I’m not so sure many ponies would feel the same way as you do.”

Rarity had her magazine held in front of her face using magic. She flipped through “Hung Hunks” and stopped once she reached the picture with Shining Armor showing off his assets. “All I know is that Shining Armor is even larger than I imagined. And Mama likes it!”

Author's Note

I finally decided to write another chapter. It's becoming less about Big Mac and Braeburn than I originally intended, but I'm just enjoying writing it.