“I’m a big scary dragon. RAWR!”

“I’m sorry. I can’t…do this.”

Pinkie Pie removed her large dragon mask and set it on Fluttershy’s bed, but she didn’t bother taking off the special dragon penis strap-on. Fluttershy closed her eyes and seemed to shrink with embarrassment. Her wings folded up tightly as she shivered.

“I thought this might be fun, but it’s just not…” she said.

“Sorry, Fluttershy. I could get a sexier dragon mask.” Pinkie Pie poked one of the large fangs on the mask.

“Oh it’s not your fault, Pinkie. And I’m sorry for putting you in this position. You must think I’m…weird.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being weird. Everypony says I’m weird.”

Fluttershy made a face that let Pinkie know that that fact didn’t really make her feel any better.

“You’re not weird, Fluttershy. Really. I think your idea was creative, and I still think it could be fun. But we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

Pinkie finally took off the strap-on and placed it next to the mask.

“Thank you,” said Fluttershy. “But this was a bad idea from the start. I thought having you here would make it easier, but it doesn’t. Not at all… It’s just too embarrassing, and…and… I wouldn’t know what to do anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“Thinking about making myself feel good with a dragon sounds nice…but actually doing it doesn’t seem so nice. Or being with anypony else at all really… It’s easier when I’m alone.”

“I think I know what you mean.” Pinkie Pie patted Fluttershy on the head and made her way to the door. “Let me know if you change your mind, and I’ll be more than happy to help out. Do you want me to leave these here?” Pinkie pointed at the mask and strap-on on the bed.

“No thank you.”

“Okey dokey.” Pinkie Pie hopped over to the bed and grabbed her things.

Applejack and Rarity walked as slowly as they could. They made the decision to tell Twilight about her brother’s photo shoot, but actually bringing themselves to do it proved more difficult than they thought.

“What if somepony else has already gone and told her?” asked Applejack.

“Then our job has been done for us,” said Rarity.

“Part of me hopes that that’s the case…”

Their destination was in sight, but there was no sign of Pinkie Pie.

“Do you think we should even wait for Pinkie?” asked Applejack.

“It would be rude not to.”

“I’m just worried that she’ll make this worse.”

“Have some faith,” said Rarity. “Pinkie Pie knows what she’s doing. Sometimes…”

They finally reached Twilight’s front door, even after what felt like years of stalling. As if my magic, Pinkie Pie appeared beside them once Applejack had finished knocking. Rarity acknowledged her with a simple nod, and Pinkie grinned with inappropriate excitement.

Twilight greeted her unexpected guests and prattled on about books and learning, or at least that’s what Applejack and Rarity assumed. Neither of them paid much attention to what she had to say. The two of them had too much on their minds and were waiting for some unforeseeable moment to spring the news on the poor pony.

“So…Twilight,” said Applejack. The four of them were sitting around a table and not doing anything in particular. “The three of us have the funniest… Well, I wouldn’t actually call it ‘funny’…maybe strange. Not strange in a bad way really. What I mean is…depending on your perspective it might be funny and strange. Or neither…”

“Your brother is bisexual,” said Rarity, trying to move things along. She tried to act casual, but she regretted her bluntness almost immediately.

“Oh,” said Twilight, seeming more surprised by the sudden change in subject than by the news itself. “But why am I learning this from you three and not him?”

Applejack and Rarity looked at each other, not having prepared for such an obvious response. Pinkie looked just as puzzled.

“Well the thing is,” said Applejack, starting to sweat, “we didn’t learn it from him either…or Cadence. At least not directly...”

“Your brother was involved in a photo shoot that…celebrates homosexuality,” said Rarity.

“You mean like a gay pride sort of thing?” asked Twilight.

“Well,” said Rarity, finally blushing, “I’m sure Shining Armor has a lot to be…proud of, but the photos focused particularly on...” Rarity trailed off and looked away from Twilight.

“Sex!” squeaked Pinkie Pie.

“Mhm…” Rarity agreed.

“So it was educational?” asked Twilight, who was as genuinely oblivious as she sounded.

“In a way…” said Applejack, circling her hoof on the table.

“What’s the big deal then?” asked Twilight. “I don’t care if Shining Armor is attracted to stallions, and I’m sure he and Cadence have discussed it.”

“We didn’t think you’d have much of a problem with that part,” said Applejack.

“There’s more?” asked Twilight.

“Mhm…” said Rarity, keeping her mouth shut and her eyes away from everypony.

“Yeah,” said Pinkie. “It’s all in here.” Pinkie Pie took out the magazine and placed it on the table.

“Hung Hunks…?” asked Twilight. “Wait…why is Princess Celestia on the cover?”

“It’s a pornographic magazine,” said Applejack.

“Yes,” said Rarity. “And Princess Celestia wanted to appear in some of the photos with her royal guards.”

“There’s an interview with her too,” added Pinkie.

“What’s a pornographic magazine?” asked Twilight. “And what do they mean by ‘hung’?”

Applejack and Rarity looked at each other awkwardly, but Pinkie Pie came to the rescue.

“It’s a magazine that has lots of pictures of nudity and sex,” she said.

“And as for ‘hung’,” added Rarity. “It’s a term that’s often used when referring to the…size of a stallion.”

“Oh…” said Twilight. “So it's like a sex education book?”

“Sure,” said Pinkie. “But with a lot less educational stuff.”

“So my brother…is in this magazine? That’s…um…”

“I’m afraid so, sugarcube,” said Applejack.

“Are you sure it’s him?” asked Twilight. “I mean…it could just be somepony that looks like him, right?”

“Nope. It’s him,” said Pinkie as she opened up to the page with Shining Armor spreading his legs and showing off his length.

“Okay I believe you,” said Twilight as she immediately closed the magazine and pushed it away.

“Sorry, Twilight,” said Applejack, after glaring at Pinkie Pie. “We just thought it would be best for you to learn it from us.”

“I… I don’t even know what to say,” said Twilight, “…or what to think.”

“Sooner or later some brash pony would come along and tell you about it,” said Rarity. “It would be a shock either way.”

Twilight sighed and stared down at the table. Pinkie Pie looked ashamed and slowly pulled the magazine even further away from Twilight.

“I know,” said Twilight. “I’m not mad at you guys…or him. I just… This feels wrong. I shouldn’t have seen that. It’s my brother’s…private business.”

“Private business plastered all over a magazine,” mumbled Rarity.

Applejack heard Rarity and gave her another one of her guilt glares.

“Princess Celestia knows all about it though,” said Pinkie Pie. “She’s even in the magazine. I don’t think Shining Armor is ashamed of himself.”

Twilight sighed again.

“I for one am a little ashamed for buying the magazine,” said Rarity. “Now that I think about it, it doesn’t feel right.”

“You bought it knowing that my brother was in it?” asked Twilight with a hint of annoyance.

“Sorry, Twilight. Your brother is very…attractive. I couldn’t help myself.”

“He’s married.”

“Still…” said Rarity, cutting herself off before she made things worse.

Applejack looked like she was ready to run out the door.

“Don’t worry, Twilight,” said Pinkie. “We all just think Shining Armor is super sexy. Nothing’s changed.”

“Pinkie…” said Applejack, trying not to get too mad at Pinkie’s honest attempt at comforting Twilight.

“He wanted to make his private bits not so private,” continued Pinkie, “and I think that’s great! He’s making himself and other ponies happy.”

“I think you’re still missing the point…” said Applejack.

“No, no, it’s fine,” said Twilight. “I know you’re all just trying to help in your own way…kinda. But I think I just need to be alone for a while. This is…a lot to take in.”

Twilight’s poor choice of words planted an unwanted image in Applejack’s mind: Shining Armor bending over with a group of eager stallions standing behind him. Applejack shook the image out of her head so fast that her hat fell off.

“It sure is a lot to take in,” she said as she picked up her hat. “And uh…we should probably get going anyway. Sorry for springing this on you so suddenly and all.” She slowly backed up towards the door. Rarity and Pinkie followed her.

“Will you be alright?” asked Rarity.

“Yes,” said Twilight. “I think so... Thank you.”

“Sorry, Twilight,” said Pinkie.

“I know. It’s fine.”

Twilight’s friends closed the door behind them. A few seconds later, Pinkie Pie ran back in and yanked the magazine off the table.

“Sorry! Again…” said Pinkie Pie before joining the others outside.

“I feel awful,” said Applejack.

“Really?” said Rarity. “Considering the incredibly awkward information we had to share, I feel it went rather well.”

“You didn’t exactly help with the awkward part.”

“And what do you mean by that?”

“You just…could have left out certain details.”

“I was nervous. Pinkie Pie is the one that needed more restraint.”

“Sorry, everypony,” said Pinkie. “I just wanted to help.”

“I just have a bad feeling that she’s bottling up her true emotions,” said Applejack. “Who knows what she’s doing now.”

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned something that I wish I hadn’t…

Twilight spent the rest of the afternoon finishing her letter, not daring to let Spike even look at it until it was sealed. Luckily for her, it didn’t take long for her mentor to respond.

Dear Twilight,

I’m sorry I never told you about your brother. He said he’d rather tell you himself, but I have a feeling he never really wanted to tell you at all. I know this must be shocking for you, but I hope you don’t hold it against him.

I have a proposition for you. If you’re comfortable with it, I’d like to invite you to my next 'activity day' with my royal guards. Your brother will not be involved, so you don’t have to worry about that. I think it would help you understand and appreciate the situation. You don’t have to participate if you’re not comfortable with it. I simply recommend that you observe.

I don’t normally give out this sort of invitation, but I know you well, my faithful student. Turn this negative situation into a positive one. I’m confident that you will learn that sharing pleasure in a healthy way is a natural thing that nopony should be ashamed of.

Come see me a week from today. The activities will start early in the afternoon. I expect to see you there.

Your loving teacher,

Princess Celestia

“Princess Celestia said you were to arrive early this afternoon.”

“I know. I’m sorry I’m late," said Twilight. "I hesitated…and then I was busy. And… What time is it anyway? I can’t be that late.”

“It’s almost 9 o’clock,” said the guard.

“Oh right. It’s dark out. I knew that.”

The guard pony guided Twilight down a long hallway. She lagged behind and kept looking over her shoulder.

“If it’s not rude to ask…” said Twilight. “Why aren’t you participating in today’s ‘activities’?”

“Many of us are still on duty.”

“Oh right. Of course. That makes sense. Sorry…”

“Here we are,” said the guard. “I will take my leave.”

“Thanks for your help.”

Twilight waited for the guard to turn a corner down the hall before she approached the door. As she got closer, she realized that she could hear loud music playing. It must have been especially loud to be heard through the thick palace walls. She knocked as if there were nothing out of the ordinary happening, but it obviously wasn’t enough of a knock for anypony inside to hear her.

“I’m at least seven hours late,” Twilight said to herself. “But the guard said that Princess Celestia was still in her…special room. She must know that I would show up eventually. Right? So I guess it’s okay if I just walk in.”

Twilight was surprised to find that the door was in fact unlocked. She opened it and poked her head inside. The loud techno music blared through the dimly lit room. Twilight’s eyes could barely adjust to the colorful lights. She saw several stallions spread throughout the room. Maybe the form of Princess Celestia too. She wasn’t sure. She thought she saw wings near the back somewhere. The bass of the music couldn’t drown out the moans. Twilight’s eyes darted back and forth. She lost where she thought she saw the wings. The lighting changed. She saw flashes of muscular flanks. She found the wings again. A wave of moans escalated over the intense volume of the music. Twilight saw Celestia.

With one swift motion, Twilight pulled herself back into the hall and closed the door. She blinked over and over, not sure if she was adjusting to the light or reacting to what she had seen.

Twilight calmly strolled past the guard and left the palace. “The door was locked.”

Author's Note

I have no idea where this story is going. And that's why I like writing it.