A Special Reunion

by HelplessTriangle

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Braeburn, Comedy, Rarity, Big Macintosh, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Sex, Applejack
Length: 16488

After Apple Bloom and Babs discover Big Macintosh and Braeburn "wrestling" in the barn, Applejack has to come to terms with her feelings about the whole situation.

After Apple Bloom and Babs discover Big Macintosh and Braeburn "wrestling" in the barn, Applejack has to come to terms with her feelings about the whole situation. Luckily her friends are willing to help.

Contains: M/M, incest

Published 2013-01-13 23:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-06 00:52:33 UTC

In the Barn

“Hey, Apple Bloom,” said Applejack as she noticed her little sister and their cousin Babs walking past the barn. “Have you seen Big Macintosh? I could use his help with something.”

“Babs and I saw him inside the barn with Braeburn.”

“Oh,” said Applejack. “Well what were they doing in there? All the fun’s out here.”

“They was wrestlin’ or somethin’,” said Babs.

“Wrestling?” said Applejack with her hoof placed under her chin. “I never knew Braeburn was much of a wrestler, not even when we were little fillies.”

Applejack walked past Apple Bloom and Babs and made her way to the barn.

“I better go round ‘em up,” she said.

“Ya can’t!” said Apple Bloom, rushing in front of her sister.

“But I need help getting the hay ride ready.”

“Get somepony else to do it,” said Apple Bloom. “He and Braeburn are havin’ fun. Isn’t that what we’re all here for?”

“Exactly,” said Applejack. “And that’s why I need his help to get this thing goin’. This is our farm, and I wouldn’t feel right askin’ somepony else. They’re our guests.”

“We can help you,” said Babs.

“That’s awful kind of you, Babs,” said Applejack. “But it’ll go a lot faster if I just get Big Macintosh to do it. He and Braeburn will have plenty of time for bonding later. Besides, what if they get hurt?”

“Oh come on, Applejack,” said Apple Bloom. “They’re big ponies. They’ll be fine. It’s just a little wrestling.”

“That may be true,” said Applejack. “But Big Macintosh sometimes doesn’t know his own strength.”

“Well, there was a lotta loud bangin’ noises,” said Babs.

“Ya see, Apple Bloom,” said Applejack. “Now are you sure they’re just wrestling? They ain’t fightin’ or anything, are they?”

“Fightin’?” asked Apple Bloom. “Why would they be?”

“I don’t know,” said Applejack. “I just don’t want this reunion to be ruined by any petty family quarrels.”

“Well they definitely weren’t fighting,” said Apple Bloom.

“Are you sure?” asked Applejack, leaning in towards her sister.

“Yeah. They kept sayin’ how much they loved each other.”

“While they were wrestling?” ask Applejack.

“Yup,” said Babs. “Big Mac was all, ‘I love you so much Brae-brae.’”

“…Brae-brae?” said Applejack.

“Yeah,” said Apple Bloom. “And Braeburn kept sayin’ things like, ‘I love you too, Big Mac. You’re so big.’”

“Oh my…” said Applejack, avoiding eye contact and blushing. “Well, you two should run along now.”

“But we were gonna help you with—” said Apple Bloom.

“Nope,” said Applejack. “It’s fine. I’ll… find somepony else to help me. Now you two go have fun…somewhere else.”

“Okay, Applejack,” said Apple Bloom as she and Babs went off to enjoy the rest of the festivities.

“And stay away from that barn!” screamed Applejack.

Once the two crusaders were gone, Applejack walked over to the barn as quickly as she could without attracting any attention.

“I need to get my mind out of the gutter,” Applejack said to herself. “There’s no way they’re doing…that. Those little fillies just made it sound strange without knowin’ what they were saying.”

She gulped and made her way to the barn’s backdoor. Nopony had followed her.

“But if they are…doing that. Then…no!” Applejack thought to herself. “There’s just no way. It doesn’t make a lick of sense.” She shook her head and chuckled. “They’re just wrestlin’. Why would they be… Nope! It just doesn’t make sense.” Applejack was pacing back and forth in front of the door. “With all these ponies here, they’d just get caught. And besides, Big Macintosh isn’t…like that. And if he were, he would have told me by now… And they’re cousins!”

Applejack peeped around each side of the barn to check for anypony wandering too close. It looked safe enough.

“What am I worrying so much for? This is ridiculous.”

She walked back to the door, but she couldn’t bring herself to open it. Her hoof stuck out straight in front of her. She closed her eyes and looked away, but she still couldn’t do it.

“Darn it, Applejack,” she said to herself. “You’ve got yourself all worked up over nothin’.”

She gave up trying to open the door and leaned her head against the side of the barn. She immediately heard a steady thumping sound, and she could feel it too. Braeburn’s voice suddenly became quite clear from inside the barn.

“Are you sure you…ah…locked the doors?”

“Eeyup,” said Big Macintosh.

Applejack pressed her ear even harder against the wall.

“I just…ah…feel bad about Apple Bloom,” said Braeburn.

“She doesn’t know what she saw,” said Big Mac. “She’ll be fine.”

“I hope so.”

Applejack heard Braeburn giggle at something, and she slowly pulled away from the wall. She looked around again and stomped her hoof on the ground in frustration.

“This is just…” she said to herself. “They can’t be…”

She heard an especially loud thud and immediately brought her ear back to the side of the barn.

“Braeburn?” said Big Mac.

“Mhm?” Braeburn’s voice came out in soft whimpers.

“…I love you.”

“Mmm,” Braeburn moaned as the thudding got faster.

Applejack’s eyes grew wide, and she couldn’t figure out if she was terrified or intrigued. An image of her brother pinning Braeburn against the wall and thrusting into him popped into Applejack’s head, but she quickly pushed it out. She pulled away from the barn again and walked around in a circle like a watchdog.

“Think about something else. Think about something else,” she repeated over and over with her eyes closed. “Apples! Think about apples!”

She pictured a barrel full of delicious apples. She sighed and let her mind focus on this familiar comfort, but she couldn’t manage to keep her thoughts from wandering for long. Two of the apples looked black, and she quickly realized she was picturing her brother’s testicles nestled in the apple barrel. She nearly screamed when his throbbing erection pushed itself from underneath the apples.

Applejack opened her eyes and shook her head until her hat fell off.

“What has gotten into me?”

She tried thinking about apples one last time, but two big red ones immediately turned into Big Mac’s perfectly shaped flank. Applejack gave up and collapsed on the ground. The faint sound of her brother and cousin’s ‘wrestling’ echoed in her ears.

Author's Note

This is my first MLP fanfic. I'll probably end up writing some more eventually. ^_^

Still in the Barn

Applejack looked up at the sky. One of clouds straight above her looked suspiciously like a penis.

“Nope!” she said to herself as she stood back up. “My big brother and my cousin are not having sexual relations in that barn. But I better make sure…”

She pressed her ear up against the wall to continue her investigation. There was nothing but silence.

“Ya see, Applejack? Nothing to worry about,” she said to herself, as if the silence suddenly made everything alright.

Braeburn’s voice finally broke the silence. “I told you I don’t like it when you do that.”

“Well you can’t go back out there lookin' like this,” said Big Mac.

“I could have just wiped it off.”

Big Macintosh took a few seconds to respond. “This way is more thorough.”

Applejack bit her lip nervously. “Oh no! Braeburn must be hurt,” she thought. “I knew they were wrestlin’.”

Applejack heard a little squeak that sounded like Braeburn.

“Nopony’s going to be checking in there,” he said.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t need cleanin’,” said Big Mac. “You leaked last time. Luckily for us, nopony saw it.”

“But you…ah…got so much on the…eek…outside this time. There can’t be much in there.”

“Taste for yourself.”

Applejack didn’t hear anything but a few muffled sounds for almost a solid thirty seconds, followed by Braeburn panting.

“Ya didn’t have to do that either,” he said.

“You didn’t stop me.”

Applejack listened to the sweet sound of her cousin’s giggling and her big brother’s deep chuckle. She smiled and almost forgot that she was a nervous wreck.

“How’s my flank?” asked Braeburn.

“Cute and clean.”

“Well I guess we should be gettin’ back now. We’ve been in here for quite a while already.”

Applejack shifted her position a little further from the barn door in case she needed to make a quick escape.

“Uh, Brae-brae?” said Big Mac. “I don’t think we’re finished.”

“It’ll shrink back down. Just give it a couple minutes.”

“That ain’t the point.”

“I just don’t think we need another mess to clean up,” said Braeburn. “We really should be gettin’ back to the reunion.”

“Don’t you worry. I’ll make it quick, and I’ll make sure there ain’t a mess to clean up.”

There were no thudding noises this time. Applejack smashed her ear against the wall to catch just a hint of a sound. She thought she could hear Braeburn say something that sounded like “I love you,” but she wasn’t sure. However, the next thing Braeburn said was as clear as day.

“I’m cummin’!”

Applejack pushed herself away from the wall in a sudden panic. She pushed herself so hard that she landed a few feet away from the barn.

“They’re havin’ sex…” she said out loud, finally admitting it to herself. “Braeburn just… And Big Macintosh had his… Oh my.”

Applejack quickly got up and ran off.

Author's Note

I hope you guys liked the second chapter. Sorry it's a little short. There will be more though. ^_^

Applejack's Confession

“Sooner or later you’re going to have to tell me what’s bothering you,” said Twilight as she poured some tea and pushed it over to Applejack’s side of the table.

“I don’t have to do anything,” said Applejack with a sudden burst of defensiveness.

“Then why did you come over here in the first place?”

Applejack stared at the tea in front of her and avoided making eye contact with Twilight.

“I needed to tell someone… But now I’ve changed my mind.”

“But what about the element of honesty?”

“Gosh darn it, Twilight,” said Applejack as she banged her hoof on the table. “That doesn’t…”

Twilight’s concerned smile calmed Applejack down almost instantly.

“I’m sorry, Twilight,” she said. “This just ain’t as easy as I thought. I’ve never had to share something this awkward.”

“I know. And that’s why you need to talk about it. This isn’t about your honesty or satisfying my curiosity. You should’ve seen yourself when you came bursting through my door.”

“It’s just...”

“You’re obviously really nervous about something. And it’s my duty as a friend to make sure you’re alright.”

“It sounds like it’s also your duty to nag her to death,” said Spike as he walked through the room.

Twilight turned towards Spike and glared at him.

“I appreciate your concern, Twilight,” said Applejack. “I really do. I just don’t know if I can say what I need to say. At least not right now…”

“Then why don’t you just write it down?” Spike shouted from the other room.

“That’s a great idea, Spike,” said Twilight. “I’ll go get the—”

“I CAUGHT MY BROTHER HAVING SEX WITH OUR COUSIN!” Applejack decided to get it over with, like ripping off a bandage.

Twilight stopped in her tracks and stared at Applejack. Spike’s head peaked in from the other room.

“…with your cousin?” asked Twilight.

“Yes. I heard the whole thing,” said Applejack as she nodded with her eyes closed.

“So you didn’t actually see them?” asked Twilight.

“No. But I know what I heard.”

“Oh… Well, how do you feel about them…uh, being together?”

Applejack just stared at Twilight.

“Yeah,” said Twilight looking away and tapping her front hooves together. “Dumb question.”

“What am I gonna do, Twilight? What if they keep doin’ this? What if somepony else finds out? They’ll be shamed forever.”

“Well I have to admit, I wouldn’t consider this a normal relationship… But as long as they’re happy, I have a hard time making any personal judgments myself.”

“How does that—?”

“I know. I know,” said Twilight placing her hoof on Applejack’s. “Everypony will probably have a different opinion about something like this. I just want you to know that I won’t think any less of Big Macintosh, or your cousin…or you.”

“That’s why I came here first,” said Applejack, almost to herself.

“So who is it?” said Spike, finally speaking up.

“Spike!” shouted Twilight.

“C’mon, Twilight,” he said. “Aren’t you at least curious?”

“I’m sure Applejack was planning on sharing that when she was ready.”

“I bet it’s that cute one with the green pigtails,” said Spike with a goofy smile on his face.

“Nope,” said Applejack. “It was…Braeburn.”

Twilight’s eyes grew wide, and her cheeks turned bright red. Spike barely reacted.

“Which one was she again?” he asked.

“He was the one with the blonde hair that we met at Appleloosa,” said Applejack.

“Oh yeah,” said Spike. “I remember....him?!”

Now Spike’s expression matched Twilight’s perfectly.

“I think I’ll catch you guys later,” he said. “I need to go…do some stuff.”

Spike slowly walked out the front door. Applejack watched him leave then turned back towards Twilight. Twilight still looked disturbingly dazed.

“You’re still not going to judge anypony…right, Twilight? I know it’s—”

“Who was on top?”

“Twilight!”

“I know you didn’t see them. I just want to know if you could—”

“Twilight…”

Twilight shook her head and got out of her little daze.

“I’m sorry, Applejack. I was just…curious.” Her cheeks were still bright red.

“It sounds like somepony is more than just tolerant of my brother’s new relationship all of a sudden,” said Applejack with a raised eyebrow.

“Who me? No. I just…I’m just…because…”

“It’s okay, Twilight. Don’t get yourself all worked up. I know how you feel….”

“Know how I feel about what?”

“Learning about Braeburn and my brother sorta made me…curious.”

“Oh. I think I know what the real problem is here. You’re more worried about your own curiosity, not Big Macintosh and Braeburn’s reputations.”

“He’s my brother! And Braeburn’s my cousin… I shouldn’t be feeling this way.”

“And exactly how do you feel?” asked Twilight as she went back to taking the situation more seriously.

“Well when I heard them…going at it, I was…I was….aroused. There. I said it.” Applejack slammed both of her hoofs on the table, almost knocking over her tea. “I was aroused. A. R. O. U. S. E. D. Aroused. I was aroused. I was wetter than a cat sleepin’ in a barn with no roof during a rainstorm. I was hornier than a giant spiked dragon. I was—”

“Alright,” said Twilight, holding back a laugh. “I get it.”

“Sorry,” said Applejack. “It feels good to get this off my chest.”

“I knew it would.”

Author's Note

Sorry this one doesn't actually feature Big Mac and Braeburn. They'll be in it again eventually. They're still the central focus. ;)

Twilight's Advice

“So what exactly aroused you?” asked Twilight.

“I don’t know…” said Applejack, suddenly trying to avoid the subject. As if she could at this point.

“Was it just the sounds you heard? Or is there something deeper going on?”

Twilight’s choice of words gave Applejack a brief image in her head of Big Mac thrusting deeply into Braeburn, making the blonde stallion moan sweetly. Applejack shook her head.

“Well shoot! Ain’t it natural for a full grown mare to get a little hot and bothered at the thought of two stallions buckin’?”

“Yeah, but…they’re—”

“I know. I know. They’re related to me. But I couldn’t help it. They’re a couple of attractive young stallions, and I dare anypony to argue with that.”

“I guess. But—”

“And what they were doin’ was… a beautiful thing. And I shouldn’t feel ashamed for how I felt.”

“Wow,” said Twilight. “You’ve given this some thought.”

“Yeah well… It is what it is I suppose.”

There was a long silence. Neither of them really knew what to say at this point, until Applejack tried to shift the conversation over to Twilight.

“So have you ever caught— or…um, thought of your brother in that way?”

Twilight quickly straightened her back and looked at Applejack with shock.

“I’m not even going to go there, Applejack.”

“C’mon,” said Applejack. “I just told the truest of truths to you. I just want to know if I’m not the only one.”

“I just don’t even want to think about that. Okay?”

“So you have thought of him like that.”

“No!” Twilight was starting to get annoyed.

“Then what you’re saying is that thinking about your brother like that would be weird, and so I’m weird.”

“Of course not. Well…maybe, but not really… I don’t know. Let’s just keep this about you for now, alright? We’re supposed to be making you feel better.”

“I’d feel better if I knew how you felt about your brother too…”

Twilight sighed. “Fine. No, I’ve never caught him having relations with anypony, and I’ve never thought of him in a sexual way. Happy?”

“Thank you.”

“But how does that make you feel better? I assume you were hoping I was in the same situation as you.”

“I just want you to be honest, Twilight. That’s all.”

Another long silence crept up on the two friends. Once again, Applejack was the one to break it.

“And so to clears things up,” she said. “I’d never thought of Big Macintosh in that way until I overheard him and Braeburn. I don’t even know how I really feel to be honest. There’s probably nothing more to it than a bit of shock and curiosity. Sure, what they were doing was arousing and all that, but it’s not like I’m gonna marry my brother, right?”

“There are many different kinds of love, Applejack. I guess all you have to do now and slowly figure out just what kind you feel for your brother after this incident. And Braeburn too I guess.”

“Only time will tell for sure I reckon…”

“Who needs time when you have books!” Twilight suddenly lit up with enthusiasm and rushed over to her large bookshelf. Without even having to search for it, she immediately pulled a large pink book off of the shelf with her magic and made it float over to Applejack.

“What’s this?” asked Applejack.

“Just read it and find out,” Twilight said with a giggle.

“Love: A Practical Guide to Warmth, Tenderness, and Sensual Pleasures…” Applejack looked up from the book and gave Twilight a confused look. “I don’t know, Twilight. How is this going to help me?”

“It’s a great book! Cadence gave it to me. It covers all different kinds of love and different ways of approaching love-related situations.”

“Is that really something a book can teach you?”

“Of course!”

Applejack opened to a random page. “Forgiveness: An Important Part of Love… As everypony knows, love is not easy. Forgiveness often becomes a necessary part of the healing process (see chapter 17). It’s important to consider the following… I guess this sounds interesting. I don’t think I really need a book to tell me how to love, but it couldn’t hurt to read some of it I guess.”

Twilight smiled and pranced over to Applejack’s side. “A lot of it is common sense, Applejack. But it goes into so much detail. I’m sure reading parts of it will at least help you grasp some of your own feelings and even the feelings of Big Macintosh and Braeburn.”

Applejack continued to flip through the book. “Chapter 27: Relationships Between Homosexual Stallions - Section 4: The Passion of—” Applejack was too embarrassed to continue reading the chapter heading out loud, which read: The Passion of Anal Sex and the Intimacy of Oral Sex. In the middle of the page there was a picture of a stallion mounting another stallion. “Cadence gave this to you?”

“Yeah,” said Twilight. “It was sort of a special gift between sisters kind of thing, but I think you need it now more than I do.”

“That’s awful kind of you, Twilight. I’ll take good care of it.”

As Applejack took one last look through the book, she noticed a bookmark near the last few pages. She opened up to the marked pages and found a full-color drawing, which took up the entire page, of a naked stallion lying on his back. He was fully erect, and his stallionhood rested on top of his stomach. Twilight quickly pulled out the bookmark and flung it across the room. She blushed and looked away from Applejack.

“Heheh,” Twilight laughed nervously. “How’d that get in there?”

Applejack gave her friend a playful smile. Twilight tried to smile back. Applejack closed the book with a chuckle.

“Thanks again, Twilight. For everything.”

“No problem,” said Twilight, still trying to hide her sudden embarrassment.

“You really are a good friend.”

Twilight smiled and walked her friend to the door. “Don’t mention it.”

Once Applejack had left, Twilight locked all of the doors and ran up to her bed. She snuggled up under the covers and immediately started rubbing her hoof between her legs, but she was quickly interrupted by a loud knock at the door. She groaned and got up to see who it was. It was Applejack.
“Hey, Applejack,” she said, trying to hide her annoyance. “Did you forget something?”

“Just something I forgot to tell you… Don’t you dare write to Princess Celestia about any of this,” said Applejack, leaning in towards Twilight. “…please.”

Author's Note

Sorry that it's kind of getting away from Big Mac and Braeburn's side of the story. I'll have some chapters dedicated to them soon enough. :)

Rarity's Boys

Before Applejack went home to begin reading Twilight’s gift, an idea popped into her head. And as she continuously second-guessed herself, her hooves led her to Rarity’s house. Before she knew it, she was at her friend’s front door. Applejack couldn’t tell if she was feeling adventurous or just plain reckless. But after the relative success she had with Twilight, she figured she might as well try. Applejack had a request to make of Rarity, which she thought could only turn out one of two ways: instant rejection or enthusiastic acceptance. Applejack had learned a bit of private information about Rarity a few months earlier, and she hoped that it would help make opening up to her a little less awkward.

Applejack could hear Rarity playing one of her classical music records from outside. She politely knocked on the door. It was only after she’d already knocked that she noticed the large sign hung up on the door. It said CLOSED in bold print, and underneath in hastily written scribbles it said do not disturb.

Applejack didn’t want to bother Rarity, but she assumed she wouldn’t mind at least greeting her at the door and making plans to talk another time. Rarity probably just didn’t want to be bombarded by a bunch of customers while she was relaxing. Applejack knocked again. But the rather ridiculous volume of Rarity’s music kept the unicorn from hearing Applejack. But when Applejack pressed her ear against the door, as she had made a habit of doing, she had no problem hearing Rarity herself.

“Oh, Prince Blueblood! This makes up for everything. Your—ugh!—manners may need some work, but you certainly know how to—ugh!—please a lady in other ways.”

Applejack couldn’t believe this was happening to her again. She smacked her hoof on her face and shook her head.

“Oh, Shining Armor!” Rarity’s voice became especially squeaky and ecstatic. “Your stallionhood… It’s simply divine! So elegant yet—mm!—masculine. But what about poor Cadence? Won’t she be upset if she finds out? I would hate to ruin your—ooh!—marriage… But wait! If she truly isn’t satisfying you, then what you need is a real mare. A mare with—ugh!—passion! As long as you don’t mind sharing with Bluebood of course. Now…show me what Cadence has been missing.”

Rarity began moaning dramatically. It was so loud that it seemed as if she was trying to compete with the volume of her music. Applejack couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her brother’s little run-in with their cousin in the barn seemed like nothing compared to the crazed sex party Rarity seemed to be throwing.

“But wait!” Rarity shrieked yet again. “What will dear Twilight think of me? You’re right. She’d—hng!—probably be—ugh!—jealous.”

Rarity went back to her moaning. Applejack looked around to make sure nopony noticed her. Nopony did, but Applejack still felt a little guilty. Just as she was about to leave, another round of Rarity’s ramblings made her stick around.

“Care to—mm!—join us, Fancy Pants? You look so lonesome over there. Don’t worry. There’s plenty of Miss Rarity to go around. Now don’t be shy, darling.”

Rarity became strangely quiet after that. Applejack couldn’t make out any sounds other than the unicorn’s music. The break from Rarity’s praising of her stallion companions gave Applejack a moment to think, and the obvious answer to what was going on hit her almost instantly.

“Well, shoot,” she thought to herself. “I should have known. That’s the whole reason I came over here in the first place.”

She decided it was best to leave Rarity alone. She’d done enough spying for one day, or a lifetime for that matter. But another pony just happened to show up, ignore Rarity’s sign, and rudely pound on the door.

“Why won’t she answer?” said the rude pony.

Applejack simply pointed to the sign.

“I don’t have time for this,” said the rude pony as she continued to knock on the door as loudly as she could. “Miss Rarity! Open up!”

The door finally opened. Applejack shuffled over to the side to distance herself from the rude pony. Rarity popped her head out. Her usually perfect mane had more than a few loose hairs sticking out, giving away that she wasn’t expecting to have to deal with customers or anypony else.

“May I help you?” she said, trying desperately hard to hide how angry she was.

“I wanted to—”

“Please read the sign,” said Rarity, interrupting the rude pony. “I’m ever so sorry. But I closed an hour early today. I’ll be more than happy to assist you tomorrow.”

“Fine…” said the rude pony as she walked away.

Before Rarity had a chance to shut the door, Applejack hopped in front of her.

“Hey, Rarity.”

“Oh… Applejack. What brings you here?”

“I’m awful sorry for bothering you. I know you’re closed…”

“It’s fine. It’s fine,” said Rarity, waving her hoof. “I can make an exception for a friend.”

“Well, what I wanted to ask you isn’t something I can say out here, so maybe I should just come back later.”

“Nonsense. Come inside.”

Rarity opened the door for Applejack. As she walked in, Rarity stuck her head outside to make sure nopony saw her, then she quickly shut the door behind them. As soon as the door was shut, Rarity rushed to her bed and covered something up with a blanket before Applejack noticed. Rarity blushed and joined Applejack on the other side of the room, pretending that nothing was wrong.

“So how may I help you, Applejack?” she said as she tried to tidy up her mane in front of her mirror.

“Well, it’s something very personal.”

“Oh, Applejack. You don’t have to worry about that. You can share anything with me.”

“It’s something personal for both of us…”

“Oh?” said Rarity, glancing at Applejack in the mirror.

“Yeah…uh… Remember when Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle found your—?”

“I thought we agreed to never speak of that again. It’s so…embarrassing. I can only imagine how you must think of me.”

“Rarity…”

“And your sister… Sweet little Apple Bloom’s innocence has been spoiled by my carelessness.”

“I talked to her about it, and everything’s fine. She doesn’t—”

Rarity flung herself on the floor. “After all this time, have you finally come to end our friendship? I suppose it’s all I deserve.”

“Rarity!” Applejack screamed, trying to break the unicorn out of her dramatic self-pity.

“Yes, Applejack?” said Rarity, sticking out her bottom lip.

“I was actually hoping to ask you…if you could tell me where you bought those…things.”

“You mean…?”

“Yeah. It’s just that…some things have come up, and I thought it might be nice to uh…have one of my own, ya know?” Applejack’s face was bright red, her eyes looked everywhere but at Rarity.

“You’re serious?”

“I am,” said Applejack, closing her eyes and lowering her head. “This isn’t easy for me to talk about either, but I want you to know that—”

“Oh, Applejack!” said Rarity as she jumped up with a twinkle in her eye. “This is marvelous! I can’t tell you how dreadful it’s been shopping for these types of things on my own. But now I have you to go with! Oh, we’ll have a wonderful time! I can show you the little shop where I buy all of my ‘exotic’ items. How scandalous! A couple of friends sneaking off together on naughty shopping trips.”

“Uh…well alright then,” said Applejack with a chuckle. Rarity’s enthusiasm melted away the awkwardness of the situation.

“Would you like to see mine?” said Rarity as if she were offering to show Applejack her baby pictures.

“I guess.”

“Wonderful! I’ll only be a moment.”

Rarity walked over to her bed and uncovered what she’d been hiding. She took them into her bathroom to clean them in the sink. Applejack waited patiently in the middle of the boutique.

“I still cannot express how relieved I am, Applejack,” said Rarity, raising her voice over the sound of the sink.

“I’m glad.”

“This is just one of those dirty little secrets that I’ve always felt strange about. And I nearly died when our sisters found these things. I thought I’d lose your friendship and your respect all in one day.”

“Well that obviously wasn’t the case. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle are fine. And I’d never lose respect for you over something like this. It’s a natural thing.”

“Well of course pleasuring oneself is a rather natural thing,” said Rarity as she used her magic to cover her toys with soap. “As two mature mares, we should be able to discuss those types of things without giggling like a pair of school fillies. It’s just…actually indulging myself enough to use these always made me feel like I was…odd. I guess that was silly of me.”

“I can understand that. Being embarrassed about this sort of thing is just as natural as enjoying it.”

“Oh, Applejack. If only everypony were as mature and understanding as you.”

Applejack smiled. She always knew how lucky she was to have such amazing friends, but today made her feel especially blessed.

“There,” said Rarity. “Nice and clean.”

Rarity walked out of the bathroom and displayed her toys on the bed for Applejack to see.

“They’re ready,” said Rarity.

Applejack stepped up to Rarity’s bed and took a look at the freshly cleaned sex toys. There were three. They were very detailed in terms of being anatomically correct, and they each had a unique size, shape, and color combination. The shafts were mostly white, but they gradually changed to a different color towards the testicles at the base of each toy.

The one on the left was around the average size of a fully grown stallion’s penis. It curved up slightly, and its base was a pale blue color. The one in the middle was larger, and it was almost perfectly straight. It was also white with a blue base, but it was a darker shade of blue. It looked like it had a switch on the bottom too. The toy on the right was the largest, and its head was especially large and flared. The shaft curved down slightly, and the testicles appeared to be much more lifelike compared to the ones on the smaller toys. Its lower half was a light gold color.

“Well,” said Rarity. “These are my boys—uh—toys. I decorated them myself. Aren’t they lovely?”

Applejack didn’t answer. All she could think about was getting her hooves on a toy of her own. Or two…

Author's Note

Still no Big Mac or Braeburn...
This story is becoming more elaborate than I originally planned.

Everypony Does It

“It’s hard for me not to think about how Prince Blueblood could have been. You must think I’m silly for dwelling on something like that,” said Rarity as she and Applejack strolled down the road.

They were both wearing large hats and sunglasses in an attempt to disguise themselves. They were traveling to a small town outside of Ponyville, and they didn’t want to risk running into anypony they knew. Who knows what they would think if they found out Applejack and Rarity were shopping at a store like “Everypony Does It.”

“Well you wouldn’t ever give him a second chance, would you?” asked Applejack, adjusting her cumbersome sunglasses.

“Of course not. After the way he treated me—.”

“And insulted my delectable treats.”

“And insulted your delectable treats,” Rarity agreed. “I feel guilty about even fantasizing about that scoundrel, but I suppose sometimes it’s hard to let go of a fantasy… even when reality has already slapped you across the face.”

“Well I reckon that’s what fantasies are for.”

Rarity smiled, but Applejack could tell she was still embarrassed. The two of them walked in silence for a little while before Rarity cheered herself up with her own bluntness.

“His flank was just so perfect though. I can’t help myself.”

The two of them shared a genuine laugh and continued on towards their destination. Rarity sighed and glanced over at her friend with a mischievous look that Applejack could see even through her sunglasses.

“So do you have a special somepony, Applejack?”

“If I did, I reckon I wouldn’t be tagging along on this shopping trip.”

“Oh don’t say it like that. You make it sound like we’re lonely and desperate. So is there somepony that you want to be your special somepony?”

“Oh. Well…” Applejack immediately thought of her brother; his strong body, his gentle heart. “Nopony in particular.”

“Come now, Applejack. You can be honest with me. I’ve certainly shared quite a few of my private matters with you.”

“You have to promise not to tell anypony.”

“I would never do such a thing.”

As much as she loved Rarity, Applejack doubted that she could keep something like this to herself for long. But it would be rude not to show some trust in her, so Applejack had only one option. “The mailpony,” she blurted out. Lying didn’t come naturally to her, but she tried her best to sound convincing.

“So it’s the mailpony, is it? How scandalous. Do you await his arrival everyday and feel yourself ready to faint once he finally arrives?”

“…yes. That’s exactly how it happens.”

“I must admit I’ve caught myself ogling from time to time. There’s something very dashing about him, and he has a lovely scrotum,” said Rarity, pronouncing the last word with a fancy accent.

“Scrotum?” asked Applejack, mimicking Rarity’s use of the fancy accent.

“Yes. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed it.”

“Well I guess I try not to stare…”

“No need to play innocent with me, darling. His tail does little to cover it up. It would be difficult for even the most self-controlled pony not to take notice.”

While Rarity prattled on about Applejack’s cover-up pony, Applejack couldn’t help but imagine her brother bending over with his large testicles hanging in clear view.

“I take notice alright…” said Applejack to herself, but Rarity overheard her slightly dazed friend.

“Now that’s the spirit!”

Applejack blushed and came back to reality. She had lost count of how many times her wandering eye had gotten the better of her. Her body always managed to find a way of being more honest than her mind was willing to be.

“Takin’ even just a little peek like that makes me feel a tad guilty though…” said Applejack.

“Oh come now, Applejack. Everypony, mare or stallion, takes an innocent look every once and a while. What’s important is how you treat everypony, and you can’t let your fantasies get the best of you.”

“I guess…”

“And I’ve caught my fair share of stallions admiring me from behind. At least ladies such as ourselves know how to be discrete. Flattery only goes so far before it turns into disrespect.”

As Rarity discussed the dangers of ogling, she quickly looked over at the stallion passing them on the sidewalk. His short tail gave her a chance to see his shapely flank and the gentle bouncing of his masculinity. After barely a second had gone by, Rarity returned to looking at Applejack.

“Did you notice what I just did?” asked Rarity.

“No…”

“And neither did he.”

After their long walk, the two friends finally reached their destination. “Everypony Does It” didn’t look like the rundown dump that Applejack was expecting. It looked just as clean and inviting as any other store she’d been to. The inside was just as nice looking and orderly, but the presence of explicit merchandise obviously took some getting used to. Condoms of various sizes, vibrators and other toys shaped like any anything from a stallion to a dragon, magazines with mares and stallions in compromising positions, tight clothing, and jars of various lubricants lined the walls. The store was also much larger than Applejack had expected, not to mention busier. Thankfully for Applejack, everypony was focused on with their own shopping. She still felt more than a touch of nervousness.

“It’s been so long since I’ve been here,” said Rarity as she started taking a look at the nearest magazines. After opening up one of them to a random page, she let out a gasp that quickly turned into a spastic giggle.

“Whoa there,” said Applejack. “Calm down, Rarity.” She looked around to make sure nopony was staring at them.

“Sh-sh-sh-sh,” Rarity stuttered.

“Shush? You’re the one making all the noise.”

Applejack slowly crept over to Rarity’s side and looked at the magazine to see what had Rarity so speechless.

“No,” said Rarity. “Sh-Sh-Sh-Shining Armor!”

“You mean…?” said Applejack in a harsh whisper.

“Mhm!”

“And he’s…”

“Mhmmm!” Rarity squealed with her mouth shut. Her entire body shivered with excitement.

The page Rarity had opened up to had none other than Twilight Sparkle’s brother on it, and he was in an unquestionably seductive pose. He was lying on his side with his back facing the camera. His left hind leg was sticking up in the air and poking out from underneath was his engorged stallionhood.

Rarity flipped through the magazine until she found another photo of Shining Armor. He was sticking his flank in the air in front of a fully armored member of the royal guard. They both had playful looks on their faces and fully erect penises. Above them there was a title in large font that read “The Flank that Everypony’s F***ed.”

“Oh my,” said Applejack as she began to close the magazine. But before she could put it back on the shelf, a voice startled her. And it wasn’t Rarity’s.

“Hi Applejack! Hi Rarity!”

Applejack froze and couldn’t bring herself to turn to face the familiar voice. A pink hoof reached around her and grabbed the magazine.

“Oooooh the royal guard issue is finally out,” said the voice.

The cover of the magazine had the title “Hung Hunks” at the top and below was a photo of Princess Celestia sitting on a throne with two stallions on either side of it, each of them showing off their flanks to the camera. However, their stallionhoods weren’t visible thanks to a specially placed banner running across the cover: “Includes an exclusive interview with Princess Celestia!”

“Pinkie Pie?!”

“Yep. It’s me. I like your hats.”

“Well well,” said Rarity. “I never would have expected to find you in a place like this.”

Pinkie hopped between Applejack and Rarity to get a better look at the magazines. She grabbed the same issue of “Hung Hunks” that they had been flipping through.

“A couple months ago there was a special Wonderbolts issue. It was super duper hot!”

“I might have to borrow that from you,” said Rarity.

“You can borrow my whole collection if you want. I have a bunch.”

“One at a time would be best. Any more would just make it harder to hide from Sweetie Belle.”

Applejack still failed to adjust to the fact that Pinkie Pie had appeared out of nowhere in a store that sold pornography and sex toys. “Pinkie… Why exactly are you here?” she asked, as if there could be multiple answers to that question.

“To buy stuff, silly. I come here all the time. I thought about subscribing to Hung Hunks, but it’s so much more fun buying it in the store. There’s so much cool stuff here. Like this!” Pink Pie held up a bright pink box with a vibrator inside. Applejack pushed it down with her hoof, keeping Pinkie from proudly displaying it in the middle of the store.

“Pinkie! Do you really want everypony to see that?”

“Somehow I don’t think anypony here is going to mind,” said Rarity.

Applejack realized how silly what she just said was and allowed Pinkie to show her what she had found.

“It’s a vibrator alarm clock!” said Pinkie.

“That’s…interesting,” said Applejack. “You sure seem to enjoy this place.”

Pinkie Pie zoomed down to the end of the aisle and returned with another toy like a dog playing fetch.

“Ooooh! You should get this one!” she said, holding up a large toy shaped like a dragon’s penis.

“Uh…”

“I already have one like it,” said Rarity.

“You do?” asked Applejack.

“Well you didn’t think I showed you everything I had, did you?”

“Is it because you have a crush on Spikey Wikey?” teased Pinkie.

“Pinkie! I would never tarnish my own self-respect by pleasuring myself to lewd thoughts about Spike. Never!”

“Calm down, silly. I was only joking.”

“Well of course… I knew that.”

Pinkie Pie bounced to the end of the shelf and grabbed a magazine with a rather straightforward title: “Erotic Dragons.” The cover had two dragons forming the shape of a heart with their necks.

“So you like dragons too?” asked Applejack as casually as she could manage.

“Of course. But I’m buying this for somepony else.”

“That somepony must be too embarrassed to buy it themselves, huh?” said Applejack. “Can’t say I blame them. To be honest I still can’t believe I bucked up and came here myself.”

Rarity looked over Pinkie’s shoulder as she flipped through the dragon magazine. “So who is this somepony?”

“It’s a secret,” said Pinkie, pulling the “Erotic Dragons” away from Rarity as if the magazine itself was the secret.

“If this somepony is too embarrassed to buy this sort of thing themselves, I don’t think they’d want Pinkie sharing their identity,” said Applejack.

“It’s just so hard to ignore such a juicy secret, but respecting their wishes is the polite thing to do I suppose. You’re a good friend, Pinke Pie.”

Applejack couldn’t help but be curious herself. She took another copy of the magazine off the shelf and looked at a few random pages. She closed it after coming across a particularly graphic image of a dragon covered in an unmistakable white fluid.

“Do you not enjoy dragons, Applejack?” asked Rarity as she noticed her friend quickly closing the magazine.

“It’s not that. It’s just this one’s more…graphic than the other stuff we’ve looked at.”

“Well of course, silly,” said Pinkie “Look at the handy labels.”

Pinkie Pie pointed at the color coded labels along the wall above the shelves. They were in the orange section, which indicated how graphic the content was. "Hung Hunks" was in the green/yellow section. Applejack tilted her head to take a quick look at the red section. She caught a glimpse of a magazine entitled “Buckets of Cum” and turned away.

Pinkie Pie popped up from around a corner, presenting yet another item to her friends.

“If I bought this, would either of you want to try it out with me?”

Applejack read the label: Super Double-Sided Dildo.

“Uh…” was all Applejack could say.

“I prefer to do that sort of thing…in private,” said Rarity.

“Awww. I don’t know anypony else to ask," said Pinkie. "I don’t think Twilight likes this sort of thing. Fluttershy would probably be scared of hurting herself. And Rainbow Dash would probably just laugh.”

“Gosh, Pinkie,” said Applejack. “I didn’t know you…liked mares in that way.”

“Huh?” said Pinkie. “I just wanted to have some fun with my friends. And since you two like to shop here too, I thought it was worth a try.”

“Sorry, Pinkie Pie,” said Applejack. “I just wouldn’t feel comfortable with it…”

“Okey dokey.” Pinkie Pie disappeared around the corner again.

Pinkie Pie’s response sounded as upbeat as usual, but Applejack could sense of hint of genuine disappointment in her voice.

After spending quite some time in the store, Applejack found herself standing in front of the magazine shelf but unable to muster the courage to look inside any of them.

“Made a decision yet?” asked Pinke Pie.

Applejack started to panic. She had come all this way, and she couldn’t deny the allure of some of the magazines. But being put on the spot made it so hard for her to choose.

“Um… Any you recommend?”

“Of course. This one is one of my favorites.”

Pinkie Pie held up a magazine from the green section entitled “Rumblin’ and Tumblin’.” The cover had two large stallions rolling around together in a field.

“It focuses on stallions finding out that they like other stallions more than mares. Some of the stories are really cute. Like this one where two friends were having a race, and then they both tripped. And one of them landed on top of the other, and then they stared at each other for a while. And then they totally kissed out of nowhere! And then they realized they weren’t just friends. They were in love!”

Applejack couldn’t help but picture her brother and Braeburn in place of the stallions on the cover. She blushed and turned away from Pinkie, pretending to look at the rest of the magazines.

“Maybe…”

Pinkie Pie and Rarity spent the rest of their time browsing through nearly every shelf and display they came across, while Applejack shuffled between one section of magazines and just one display of neatly arranged dildos. Pinkie and Rarity showed no signs of embarrassment as they examined any piece of merchandise that interested them. Applejack on the other hand kept a comfortable distance between herself and the item she was looking at.

After being there for over an hour, the friends finally approached the front desk. Pinkie Pie put down a large stack of magazines with “Hung Hunks” on the top. Rarity purchased a small container of lubricant and a copy of “Hung Hunks” as well. Applejack placed her items on the counter, unable to make eye contact with the cashier. It was a mare with a dark mane and multiple piercings. Although she looked at Applejack’s purchases (yet another copy of “Hung Hunks” and a modestly sized dildo) with obvious indifference, Applejack fumbled around with her money nervously. She dropped half of her coins on the floor.

“Darn it. I’m so sorry,” she said.

The cashier waited patiently as Rarity and Pinkie helped pick everything up. Then Applejack finally took her bag and left the anxiety inducing store. She sighed with relief once they were a safe distance down the road. Rarity looked to be in an especially good mood, and Pinkie bounced with an extra spring in her step. Of course Applejack had to be the one to bring up what they seemed to have forgotten.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell Twilight about her brother being…well, ya know. But at the same time…this might be one of those situations where it’d be best to hear it from her friends and not some stranger. We could break it to her gently.”

Pinkie was too busy reading through her copy of "Hung Hunks" to catch everything Applejack had said. “Gently?” she asked. “No, it says here that Shining Armor likes it rough.”

“What?” asked Applejack.

“That’s what it says.”

“Pinkie, I was talking about—.”

“Page 12: Shining Armor has gladly taken the cock of every stallion in the royal guard. Some joked that that was his way of moving up the ranks. With a beautiful white flank and a long black cock to match, Shining Armor certainly shines as a valuable member of the team. When he’s not with his loving wife, he’s getting double teamed by a couple of his good friends in the royal guard.” Pinkie Pie read the magazine as if it were the most normal thing in the world and then placed it back into her bag.

Rarity looked like she was drunk with lust. She staggered behind her friends as they walked along. Her hat was as crooked as her grin. Applejack tried to stay calm and alert in case anypony decided to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Pinkie…” she continued after Pinkie’s interruption. “What I was trying to say was I think we might have to tell Twilight about her brother being in this here magazine. She’s bound to find out sooner or later, and I don’t want her feelings getting hurt.”

“Hung Hunks is respected reading material,” said Pinkie. “This one even has Princess Celestia on the cover.”

“I don’t think Twilight will care too much about all that…”

“But it’s Princess Celestia,” said Pinkie. She quickly pulled the magazine back out of her bag and stopped to read another paragraph. “It even has an interview with her.”

“I know Pinkie. I read—.”

“Page 5: I encourage my guards to explore their sexuality. It’s good for their self-esteem as well as their relationships with their fellow guards. No matter how disciplined a group of stallions like this is, things are bound to get tense. And sometimes the best and most immediate way to ease that tension is to engage in intimate activities.”

Applejack waited as patiently as she could for Pinkie to finish before speaking up. “Don’t you think it’d still be awkward and embarrassing for Twilight to find out that her brother has been doing something like this?”

“But Princess Celestia herself—.”

“That’s all well and fine, but Twilight will still find herself in a difficult situation. I don’t think she’ll love her brother any less or judge him for being in this magazine, especially with Princess Celestia being involved, like you said. But imagine if one of your sisters was in a magazine that showed her in compromising positions and talked about her doing all sorts of things with other mares. Wouldn’t you be a little embarrassed?”

Pinkie stopped to think for a second. “I don’t know. I think I’d be proud of her for doing what made her happy. As long as she’s having a good time and not hurting anypony else, I don’t think I’d feel anything other than smiles. And if seeing her strut her stuff makes other ponies happy, then that’s even better.”

“Well that’s mighty big of you, Pinkie. But I’m not so sure many ponies would feel the same way as you do.”

Rarity had her magazine held in front of her face using magic. She flipped through “Hung Hunks” and stopped once she reached the picture with Shining Armor showing off his assets. “All I know is that Shining Armor is even larger than I imagined. And Mama likes it!”

Author's Note

I finally decided to write another chapter. It's becoming less about Big Mac and Braeburn than I originally intended, but I'm just enjoying writing it.

One Night, Three Mares

Rarity kept her eyes locked on the erotic image in front of her. She imagined that she was there, experiencing everything with Shining Armor. Her horn glowed intensely. With a powerful burst of magic, the two dildos began to slide in and out of her. Rarity couldn’t help but grin stupidly and lean in closer to the magazine.

“Oh, Shining Armor!” she moaned. “I have you at last. Don’t hold back.” She forced the toys in deeper and let herself be taken over by the sensation of being filled by two stallions. “Oooooh. That feels lovely.” She rocked her hips back and forth while slowing down the pace to a steady probing. “What’s that, Shining Armor? You can feel your fellow guard’s jewels touching yours? Oh dear. It’s not painful is it? Oh, you think it feels nice? Tell me more.” Rarity lost her restraint and let the toys pound into her. “Let your jewels rub against his. Feel him moving inside me.”

The sophisticated mare gazed at her special crush and let her mind float between thoughts of what he would do to her and what he could do for another stallion. “Now take it out. Take it out…and make love to him.”

Rarity pulled the larger toy out of her soaked marehood and let it fall onto the bed. But in her imagination Shining Armor was simply repositioning himself to take the other stallion from behind. Rarity closed her eyes, no longer needing the magazine to entice her. She imagined the guard thrusting himself into her pure white flank, and behind him was Shining Armor doing the exact same thing to him. Rarity reached her hoof between her hind legs and started rubbing what Shining Armor had left behind.

“Yes! My wonderful stallions! Oh yes!” she cried. Her horn suddenly let off a magical burst of colorful fireworks, and down below she covered her hoof with her slick juices. The magic no longer moved the dildo. It stayed nice and tight in her clenched hole as her orgasm washed over her. She buried her face into her pillow and sighed with delight.

“Don’t forget, Shining Armor. Pleasing your fellow stallion is just as important as pleasing your mare.” She smiled at the picture of the dashing guard and kissed it gently.

Applejack spread her hind legs apart awkwardly and poked at her pink entrance with the tip of the dildo. She looked at her opened magazine as she gently rubbed the toy against her wetness. Her cheeks turned bright red in embarrassment, even though there was nopony there to judge her. Everypony was fast asleep except for her.

With her free hoof, she turned the page of “Hung Hunks” and found an image that tickled her fancy. Princess Celestia was lying on a large bed looking up at the camera with a satisfied look on her face. She had her front legs wrapped around the strong shoulders of two members of her royal guard. They were lying on either side of her, still wearing their crested helmets. And their stallionhoods were draped over the princess’s stomach with their tips pressing together.

Applejack pictured herself lying on that bed with two gorgeous hunks on either side of her, which of course would be her brother and Braeburn. Quickly becoming ashamed of her own fantasy, Applejack returned to simply enjoying the photograph. On the far left side of the page there were a few accompanying paragraphs. Above them in larger font there was a heading that read: Celestia opens up about her free time and free love. Applejack gave up on her masturbation and picked up the magazine to read the interview. Her dildo sat unused on the bed.

I encourage my guards to explore their sexuality. It’s good for their self-esteem as well as their relationships with their fellow guards. No matter how disciplined a group of stallions like this is, things are bound to get tense. And sometimes the best and most immediate way to ease that tension is to engage in intimate activities. However, I condemn any forceful behavior. I want my guards to be happy. Most of the time, new recruits slowly come to realize that they are physically attracted to their fellow guards. After spending so much time together, it’s only natural that they become curious and start to notice things about another stallion that they might not have before.

ARE YOU SAYING BEING AROUND SO MANY STALLIONS ALL THE TIME TURNS THEM GAY?

In a way, yes. Of course not all of them discover this about themselves, so it really comes down to the individual. It doesn’t “turn them gay” so much as it allows them to realize that they’re physically drawn to other stallions. I don’t think all of them would necessarily openly seek a romantic relationship with another stallion. But they still can appreciate the physical comfort of a member of the same sex.

DO YOU EVER WITNESS ANY ACCIDENTAL ERECTIONS WHILE THEY’RE ON DUTY?

Very rarely. My guards have an intense sense of duty and professionalism. That doesn’t keep them from having their fun though, and it certainly doesn’t keep me from having mine. And of course I acknowledge that they aren’t in complete control of how their bodies react. But there’s a time and place for everything.

I ASSUME YOU DECIDE WHEN AND WHERE.

*laughs* Certainly. For instance, a few weeks ago I caught one of my newer guards with an obvious erection. I dealt with it by having him give me a private show.

YOU DIDN’T GET ANY OF THE OTHER GUARDS INVOLVED?

No, my intent wasn’t to humiliate him, which may have happened if I had gotten others involved. I’m not sure how he feels about other stallions, so I would never force something like that upon him.

BUT YOU ORDERED HIM TO GIVE YOU A PRIVATE SHOW, DIDN’T YOU?

It was more of a request. He was shy at first, but it didn’t take long for him to finish. And then he was back on duty. Sometimes it’s as easy as that.

DO YOU EVER REQUEST THAT OF YOUR GUARDS EVEN WITHOUT AN INCIDENT LIKE THAT?

Occasionally I call upon a group of my more senior guards, and I have them entertain me for the evening.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU GET INVOLVED IN THIS ENTERTAINMENT?

Not as often as you might think. I’m usually content with observing. But even a royal princess can’t always help herself around a group of strapping young stallions.

ARE YOU STRICT WITH HOW THEY TREAT YOU WHEN YOU GET INVOLVED?

Not really. I tend to coach them and give them instructions, but I don’t necessarily place strong restrictions on how they interact with me intimately. I trust them.

WHAT KIND OF INSTRUCTIONS DO YOU GIVE?

Well for example, occasionally I instruct all of them to finish on my face.

YOU MEAN…?

Yes. It’s a wonderful thrill to be showered in pure masculinity. There’s no shame in enjoying such pleasures.

SPEAKING OF THAT, I HEAR THAT YOUR NIECE’S HUSBAND ENJOYS SIMILAR ACTIVITIES.

Shining Armor? Yes, I’ve known about his appreciation for the male body for quite some time.

DOES YOUR NIECE KNOW?

Yes. I don’t think he even had to tell her. She just knew.

SO I ASSUME SHE’S COMFORTABLE WITH HIM BEING IN PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER STALLIONS?

Yes, I think she encourages him just as I do with all of my guards.

YOU DON’T THINK IT WILL PUT A STRAIN ON THEIR MARRIAGE?

I can’t speak for them. But from what I can see, it’s strengthening their marriage. Honesty is very important to both of them, and they’re willing to be open with each other about anything.

DOES PRINCESS CADENCE GET INVOLVED WITH HER HUSBAND’S HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITIES?

I think she’s allowing him to have his guy time without her. *laughs* I’ve also given him his space. I hear about his activities from time to time from other guards, but I’ve made a decision not to get myself involved. I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable.

AND YET HE’S WILLING TO BE A PART OF THIS PHOTO SHOOT.

Yes. I don’t think he’s ashamed of his relationship with his fellow guards, but having his wife or aunt present while it’s happening might just be too awkward.

WELL I CAN’T PROMISE THAT THERE WON’T BE PHOTOS THAT ARE EDITED TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU TWO WERE AT THE SAME PHOTO SHOOT.

*laughs* As long as you don’t make it appear as if we’re intimate.

SO DO YOU THINK THE REST OF HIS FAMILY WILL BE AS UNDERSTANDING?

I think so. Although I’m not sure if any of them will even find out. I’m not going to go out of my way to tell them about this, and I’m sure Cadence and Shining Armor won’t either. I think most ponies around here are rather discrete about their sexual interests, so I wouldn’t be surprised if his family never even hears of this magazine.

Applejack turned the page and saw a photo of Shining Armor. He was lying on a large bed with his back leaning against the backboard; looking directly at the camera while holding a copy of “Hunk Hunks”. His large stallionhood was standing up and covering part of the magazine. On the bed were a few envelopes. One of them was opened, and there were a couple photos on top of it. One showed a stallion winking, and the other was what Applejack assumed was that stallion’s penis. Next to the photos was an unopened condom.

Applejack turned the page and saw an image that went across both pages. On the left page was a close-up of Shining Armor’s flank, and on the right page was a close-up of another stallion’s penis with a light blue condom pulled over its girth. Applejack kept the magazine opened to those pages and let it fall onto her bed. She grabbed her toy and spread her hind legs. Her eyes wandered back and forth between the curve of Shining Armor’s flank and the length of the other stallion as she let the toy slide inside her.

There was a knock at Pinkie Pie’s door. “Pinkie dear? You haven’t come out all day. Are you feeling alright?”

Pinkie Pie was sprawled out on her bed. She was fast asleep with her copy of “Hung Hunks” draped on her chest like a paper bikini top. Down below between her legs was a bright pink vibrator. It was still turned on and buzzing softly, which was not enough to wake up the tired pony.

Mrs. Cake knocked one last time. “I’m coming in.” She opened the door and found the young pony in that awkward position, snoring loudly. “Oh my…” Mrs. Cake stood still for a moment before leaning over Pinkie Pie and whispering her name. Realizing she was actually asleep, Mrs. Cake sighed and gently removed the magazine from Pinkie’s chest, setting it face down on Pinkie’s nightstand. The sweet mare carefully reached her hoof between Pinkie’s legs and switched off the vibrator. Before leaving the room, she pulled a blanket over Pinkie Pie and turned off the light. The door shut without a sound, letting Pinkie enjoy the rest of her nap.

Author's Note

I got a little more graphic than the previous chapters, but I felt something like that was due at this point.

In the Closet

Several months had passed since the family reunion that started Applejack’s uncomfortable feelings about her brother and cousin. She began to realize that she’d been avoiding Big Mac without even meaning to. Hopefully he hadn’t noticed. She didn’t want him to think they were drifting apart, but it grew harder and harder to look him in the eye. To make matters worse, Applejack’s problem was going to return in full force. Braeburn was coming to visit.

On the day of her cousin’s arrival, Granny Smith and Apple Bloom went into town to finish some last minute shopping. Applejack and Big Macintosh planned on meeting Braeburn at the train station, but Applejack came up with a vague excuse about having to stop by Sugarcube Corner, which of course was a lie, leaving her brother to meet up with Braeburn on his own.

Applejack really meant to stay behind and do a bit of snooping. She searched high and low for some sort of evidence of Big Mac’s feelings for Braeburn, but going through her brother’s room revealed nothing out of the ordinary.

“I don’t know what I was expecting to find,” Applejack said to herself. “And snooping through Big Macintosh’s stuff ain’t right anyway.”

Applejack remembered her own special hiding place underneath the floorboards. It’d been so long since she’d taken out her toy or even her magazine. She’d almost forgotten to check for a secret spot like that in her brother’s room. Sure enough, Big Mac’s floor had a similar set of loose boards.

“Well he is my brother after all.”

Applejack set the boards aside and reached down to examine the hidden treasures. She was somewhat relieved to find nothing more than a letter from Braeburn and a nice photograph of him and Big Mac together. Neither the letter nor the photo had anything even remotely suggestive, but the hiding place alone added one last piece of unnecessary evidence to their relationship.

Applejack admired the photo, holding it up to the light. They both looked so happy. It was such a shame that the two of them couldn’t be more open about their feelings, no matter how awkward it may be. Suddenly, she heard Big Macintosh’s voice calling for her, Granny Smith, and Apple Bloom. It sounded like he and Braeburn were right outside the door. Applejack panicked, not knowing how she didn’t hear them come in.

Without putting the photo back, Applejack frantically kicked the loose boards back into place. Realizing she still had the photo, she made a split-second decision to hide in the closest. She stumbled backwards against the back wall of the tiny space, thankfully not making much noise. Without thinking, she closed the closet door. The time to put the photo back had passed, and she was too flustered to even consider coming up with an excuse for being in Big Mac’s room. She heard him and Braeburn enter the room and close the door behind them.

“I couldn’t help myself,” said Braeburn. “Their flanks were just so…”

“Mhm…”

“Sorry, Big Mac. I wasn’t trying to make you jealous. But ain’t the thought of being with them at least a tad exciting? And there ain’t no harm is just looking, right?”

“I don’t like the idea of sharing you,” said Big Mac.

“Aw shucks. You know I’d never do anything behind your back.”

“I know. But just in case, I think I need to remind you why.” Big Mac chuckled.

“Won’t they be back soon?”

“Granny Smith takes an awful long time to get her shopping done, and Applejack said she’d be gone most of the day.”

Braeburn’s sweet little voice gasped.

“Oh, Big Macintosh…”

“Raise that flank, cousin.”

The door between Applejack and her kin did nothing to drown out the sounds they made. The bed creaked so loud that she worried it would collapse. And the wet smacking sounds cleared Applejack’s mind of any doubts about what was happening. Her brother grunted with determined purpose, and Braeburn praised him to the point where Applejack almost couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re amazing,” moaned Braeburn. “So big… The strongest stallion ever! You’re makin’ me so hard…”

Applejack smiled at her cousin’s unapologetic affection. The wet smacking sounds seemed to get louder and faster with each word.

“I haven’t touched myself at all since the reunion,” Braeburn moaned. “I was saving myself for you.”

“You didn’t have to go and do that.”

“I wanted to.”

The bed-creaking and flesh-pounding continued. Applejack leaned against the closet door, shivering with an excitement that she couldn’t control. She felt the same rush of shame as the first time she’d been stuck in this position, but she embraced the shame this time. After holding back for too long, her hoof crept between her hind legs. She massaged her needy marehood and listened to the passion on the other side of the door.

“I’m close,” muttered Big Mac.

“I can feel you starting to flare.” Braeburn panted and whined. “I’m close too.”

“Just from—?”

“Mhmm,” whimpered Braeburn.

“Braebrae…”

“Fill me up.”

“Say you love me…please.”

“I love you so much,” cried the yellow stallion. “I want you…only you. Fill me with your hot—”

Applejack heard an unexpected sound that made her stomach sink. It was the sound of the bedroom door opening.

“Well lookie here. This sure is a sight.”

“Granny!” gasped Big Macintosh.

Applejack froze in a sudden panic as if she’d been the one that was caught.

“Now don’t go makin’ a fuss, dearie,” said Granny Smith. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a couple healthy young stallions goin’ at each other. Boys will do boys. Or was it boys will be boys?”

“Granny Smith,” said Braeburn, “we weren’t…it ain’t what it looks like.”

“Really?” said Granny Smith. “Then how’re y’all gonna explain how Macintosh’s doohickey got in your derriere?”

“Granny…” said Big Mac with nervous urgency in his voice. “Please…could you leave us be?”

“Well, shoot,” said Granny Smith. “Of course. You’re probably ready to let your juice loose. I’ll leave y’all to it. Just go easy on your cousin. I don’t want anypony hurt.”

“Granny! Please!” shouted Big Mac.

“Oops. I’m ramblin’ aren’t I? Sorry, boys. Y’all have fun.”

Applejack heard the door shut and realized she’d been holding her breath for quite a while. She let out a quiet sigh and put a hoof to her forehead. A few seconds later, she heard the door open again.

“Just make sure y’all are quiet,” said Granny Smith. “I don’t think Apple Bloom needs to hear what you’re up to.” As soon as she closed the door, Granny Smith opened it yet another time. “Oh, and it’s great that you decided to come visit, Braeburn.”

“My pleasure, Granny Smith…” Braeburn whimpered.

Once Granny Smith had closed the door for the third time, Big Macintosh immediately let out a deep moan.

“I said to keep it down,” said Granny Smith, intruding once again. “You’re gonna—oh my…” The door closed gently.

Big Macintosh and Braeburn were panting from exhaustion and probably a bit of frustration. Applejack leaned her head against the wall, breathing rather heavily herself. An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Applejack made extra sure that she didn’t make a sound.

“I reckon we should get on down to see everypony,” said Braeburn.

“Eeyup…” said Big Macintosh.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

“Now she knocks…” thought Applejack.

The courtesy of the knock quickly disappeared as soon as Granny Smith walked in. Nopony had given her permission to enter.

“Granny…” said Big Mac.

“Don’t mind me, boys” said Granny Smith. “Granny Smith will have these here sheets clean as a whistle in no time.”

“Please don’t,” said Big Mac. “We—”

“Braeburn’s our guest,” said Granny Smith. “He’s here for family and fun. Not to do laundry. Here. Take these. Clean yourselves up as best you can before sayin’ “hi” to Apple Bloom.”

“Yes, Granny…” said Big Mac.

“Thanks, Granny Smith,” said Braeburn. “And…sorry.”

“Not another word,” said Granny Smith. “I’m glad y’all are so close. I say keep on buckin’, boys.”

“Granny…” muttered Big Mac.

“Y’all won’t be young forever,” said Granny Smith. “And who knows how long those hips of yours will be able to keep up like you were. Speakin’ of which, how’re you feelin’ Braeburn?”

“I uh…” said Braeburn.

“No aches or pains?”

“No…”

“Granny,” said Big Macintosh. “Please…”

“Sorry,” she said. “I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll see you two downstairs.”

After Granny Smith closed the door, Big Macintosh sighed with relief.

“Well,” said Braeburn. “I think she approves.”

Having Her Cake

“Pinkie!” Mrs. Cake screamed.

“Sorry, Mrs. Cake. I didn’t think you’d be home today. I was just looking for my…” Pinkie Pie noticed the magazine that Mrs. Cake didn’t have a chance to hide. “There it is. Why didn’t you just ask if you wanted to borrow it?”

Pinkie Pie stood in the doorway of Mr. and Mrs. Cake’s room. The older mare was lying on her back with her hind legs spread and a suspicious looking magazine opened flat over her chest. Mrs. Cake blushed and couldn’t find the words to explain herself. Pinkie Pie hopped over to her side and peaked at the page Mrs. Cake was looking at. Mrs. Cake didn’t even bother to pull it away as Pinkie lifted the magazine up with her hoof. It of course was none other than “Hung Hunks,” and it was opened to a page with one of the more tame images: two stallions sitting on the edge of a bed with their legs spread, and they were holding their royal guard helmets over their private parts.

“You can hold onto it for a while,” said Pinkie Pie. “And don’t worry. I won’t tell anypony. I know most ponies like to keep this kind of thing a secret.” She did an exaggerated zipper motion over her lips.

“Actually,” said Mrs. Cake, in a hopelessly nervous voice. “I think I’m done with it. It’s uh, much more…graphic than I was expecting. Please just take it. Please. Take it…now. Please.”

“But that’s the best part!” Pinkie accidentally flung the magazine up into the air with her enthusiasm.

“Well I don’t know about that…” The magazine landed back onto Mrs. Cake’s chest, and she casually tried to push it away.

“Did you see the page with the stallions piled on top of each other?”

“No. I…must have missed that one.”

“Here. I’ll show you—.” Pinkie Pie took the magazine in her mouth and yanked it away from Mrs. Cake.

“Pinkie...I don’t know if I feel comfortable with this.”

“Sorry. You’re right. I should leave you alone.” Pinkie carefully placed the magazine beside Mrs. Cake on her bed.

“It’s just…I don’t want you thinking of me like this,” said Mrs. Cake as she finally closed her legs back together.

“Like what?”

“You know…the kind of mare that does this sort of thing behind her husband’s back.”

“Oh. I wouldn’t worry about that. I found Mr. Cake with one of my magazines a few weeks ago.”

“You what?” The married mare sprung up with a sudden intensity that was quite unlike her.

“Oops. That was supposed to be a secret. At least I assume Mr. Cake would want that to be a secret.”

“You caught him…you saw him…” Mrs. Cake trembled.

“No, no, no. I didn’t see anything like that. I just noticed one of my magazines was missing one day, like today, and I saw Mr. Cake bringing it back to my room. He didn’t see me though, and he didn’t know I saw him.”

“Show me the magazine.”

Pinkie Pie took Mrs. Cake to her room and pulled the magazine in question from her massive stack. She found it on her first try. It was an issue of “The Mare,” featuring Spitfire on the cover in a provocative pose. Mrs. Cake frantically flipped through every page as if she hoped to find a specific mare that had betrayed her.

“What’s wrong, Mrs. Cake?” asked Pinkie as her eyes darted back and forth along with each page turn.

Mrs. Cake noticed Pinkie hovering over her shoulder and put the magazine down in defeat. “I just can’t believe this…”

“Why? Seems to me that the two of you have the same hobby. Isn’t that great?”

“Not when it’s like this.”

Pinkie Pie put her hoof to her chin with a puzzled look on her face.

“It’s just,” continued Mrs. Cake, “when I have my private time…” She put down the magazine as the words stuck in her throat.

“You can tell me,” said Pinkie, taking her front leg and wrapping it around Mrs. Cake.

“I don’t know… It feels strange knowing that he does the same thing. It makes me worry that he doesn’t see me in that way anymore.”

“In what way?”

“You know…like a mare worth wanting.”

“Oh that’s silly,” said Pinkie, giving Mrs. Cake a sudden pat on the flank.

“Pinkie! Personal space! Please…”

“Sorry.” Pinkie Pie shuffled a few inches away. “But don’t you think Mr. Cake might feel the same way if he knew you were a fan of Hung Hunks.”

“Well…I guess you have a point. But I love my hubby. He knows that.”

“So you should know that he loves you too. Right?”

“I know... You must think I’m just a sad old mare.”

“Of course not. What you need is something to spice up your love life. Or at least that’s how my magazines put it.”

“Spice…?”

“Yeah! Something to remind each other that you’re both still hot stuff.”

Mrs. Cake blushed and watched as Pinkie Pie dove head first into her special private toy chest.

“I’ve got all kinds of stuff in here. There’s got to be something to help you.”

Mrs. Cake waited patiently for Pinkie’s sudden burst of energy to yield some results. The issue of “The Mare” that her husband had been ogling caught Mrs. Cake’s eye again. She was reminded of the young mare showing herself off on the cover. Pinkie Pie said something unintelligible in her high pitched voice, jolting Mrs. Cake back to the task at hand. She turned around and saw it: the round pink shape of Pinkie Pie’s flank swaying from side to side. Mrs. Cake slowly turned her head and looked back down at the magazine’s cover and then back to Pinkie Pie.

“Pinkie dear…” Her voice was bursting with hesitation.

“Yeah?” Pinkie still had her head in the toy chest.

“I think I know how you can help…”

Author's Note

I'm still not sure where I'm going to go with the main storyline, so I decided to write this little side story for fun.

Nothing But Dessert

Cup Cake watched with wavering patience as her husband had the time of his life with the young mare she’d brought to bed... After plenty of reassurances from Cup, Pinkie Pie had agreed to the unconventional proposal. This was a good plan. This would save their marriage. But after having more time to think about it, Cup began to question whether their marriage needed any sort of saving in the first place.

Carrot Cake moaned as if he’d never touched a mare before… Cup adjusted the pillow she was leaning her back against. This was her idea. None of this was Carrot’s fault. “Enjoy yourself,” she had said, as if she were bringing him on some surprise vacation. Now that he was obviously enjoying himself, Cup felt like calling the whole thing off. Carrot hadn’t touched her once. All of his attention went straight to Pinkie. Of course, that could be blamed on the Cakes’ lack of experience with threesomes, or maybe Cup simply didn’t have the courage to speak up at this point.

Pinkie’s expression was somewhere between pure bliss and mindless stupidity… It hurt Cup to see Pinkie loving this so much. Pinkie made her nonchalant attitude towards sex very obvious, but Cup expected, or at least hoped, for more protesting from the young mare. Once the initial awkwardness had worn off, it was Pinkie that got things going. Not a second was wasted. Everything Cup knew about foreplay was thrown out the window. It wasn’t needed. Pinkie Pie already had a relentless sex drive, and once Carrot received the nod of approval from his wife, he was lost in it. It would take an army to drag him away.

Cup looked away, but she couldn’t escape the sounds: Pinkie Pie’s giggly gasps, Carrot’s immodest moans, and the vulgar smacking of their bodies… Cup wanted to think of something else, but all she could picture was her husband’s face. It was the look on his face when she suggested this ridiculous idea. At first, Carrot thought his wife was accusing him of something, but Cup didn’t say a word about the magazine she knew he read. She only brought up her own interest in other stallions, causing her offer to seem like she was making things even between them. That was a big mistake. Cup had done a horrible job of explaining herself, but even she couldn’t remember why she had ever though that this was a good idea.

Pinkie Pie’s puffy tail began to stand up and twitch… How was bringing in another mare supposed to fix whatever she thought needed fixing? Cup meant for this to spice up their sex life (whatever that meant). This certainly spiced things up, but it created more problems than there even were to begin with. Carrot’s calm and understanding attitude should have been enough. He knew Cup’s interest in “Hung Hunks” was nothing more than a harmless fantasy. Although he didn’t specifically mention “The Mare,” he admitted to having similar fantasies about other mares. This is where it should have ended. Cup’s stupid plan wasn’t needed at all. But something made her invite Pinkie into their bed anyway.

“Ooh Mr. Cake,” Pinkie moaned in an uncharacteristically sultry voice… If anything, Cup should have brought two ponies. Pinkie Pie was the one that helped set this whole crazy situation in motion, and she was certainly ready and willing. But Cup couldn’t believe the thought of bringing in another pony hadn’t even crossed her mind. Because of her somewhat apologetic nature, Cup wanted her husband to have the special treatment. Living out a secret fantasy would be all for him. This was supposed to make Cup happy too. Now she remembered. This was meant to be like giving any other gift. The giving and the receiving were meant to make both parties equally happy. That’s how it had always been for the two of them. So why would this be any different?

Carrot made the most satisfied sound Cup had ever heard him make. It was over.

“Great job, Mr. Cake!” Pinkie applauded in her typical high pitched voice.

Carrot didn’t respond. He was still catching his breath. Cup watched out of the corner of her eye as her husband tossed the used condom into the nearby trash bin. He fell onto his back with his head landing next to Cup’s leg.

“Wow…” he gasped.

What was so special about that? Cup couldn’t think of one thing Pinkie did that was any different than what she did with her hubby. Was a quickie with a younger mare really that much of an improvement? Cup couldn’t help but scowl.

“Hi honey,” said Carrot, finally acknowledging his saint of a wife. “Maybe this is the wrong thing to say but…thank you.”

Cup felt offended and gratified at the same time. She gently raised her hoof, not sure if she wanted to smack her husband or pat him on the head. She did neither.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, dearie,” she said, which was the exact thing she had told herself she wouldn’t say.

“Wowie…” sighed Pinkie, from the other end of the bed. “Mr. Cake knows how to make a mare tingly.”

“I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I?” asked Carrot. “And…did you…you know…finish?”

Cup’s urge to smack Carrot returned.

“Twice!” Pinkie’s head sprang up as she proudly declared her multiple orgasms.

“And what about you, muffin?” asked Carrot, nudging his nose against her thigh.

Cup didn’t know what to say. Carrot had assumed that she was pleasuring herself this whole time. Could that mean at least part of his enthusiasm was for her? Had Cup been wrong? Maybe Carrot didn’t see this as a gift or an apology after all. He must have thought that Cup wanted to see this and that she was getting some sort of thrill from watching him with Pinkie. Cup was ashamed of herself for even considering that her hubby was being selfish.

“Yes,” she blurted out. “Three times.”

Her lie seemed to satisfy Carrot. He crawled up on top of her and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

“Well then,” said Carrot. “I hope I don’t sound too reckless when I say I’m ready for round two.” He gave her a wink.

Cup’s eyes lit up. She adjusted her legs and gazed at her husband as he leaned back, ready to make love to her. He reached for another condom and opened the package with his teeth. His penis was still hard enough for the protective rubber to slide on easily, with the help of his wife of course.

“Thanks, sugar muffin,” said Carrot as the two of them finished securing the condom.

Cup closed her eyes and sighed, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Carrot moaned.

“Woohoo!” Pinkie cheered.

Cup quickly opened her eyes and sat up. Carrot was already inside Pinkie Pie. He turned to his wife and gave her cheerful smile. All Cup could do was smile back.

Author's Note

I originally planned to completely skip this part of the story and leave their sexual encounter just implied, but I suddenly got inspired to write this.

News for Twilight

“I’m a big scary dragon. RAWR!”

“I’m sorry. I can’t…do this.”

Pinkie Pie removed her large dragon mask and set it on Fluttershy’s bed, but she didn’t bother taking off the special dragon penis strap-on. Fluttershy closed her eyes and seemed to shrink with embarrassment. Her wings folded up tightly as she shivered.

“I thought this might be fun, but it’s just not…” she said.

“Sorry, Fluttershy. I could get a sexier dragon mask.” Pinkie Pie poked one of the large fangs on the mask.

“Oh it’s not your fault, Pinkie. And I’m sorry for putting you in this position. You must think I’m…weird.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being weird. Everypony says I’m weird.”

Fluttershy made a face that let Pinkie know that that fact didn’t really make her feel any better.

“You’re not weird, Fluttershy. Really. I think your idea was creative, and I still think it could be fun. But we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

Pinkie finally took off the strap-on and placed it next to the mask.

“Thank you,” said Fluttershy. “But this was a bad idea from the start. I thought having you here would make it easier, but it doesn’t. Not at all… It’s just too embarrassing, and…and… I wouldn’t know what to do anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“Thinking about making myself feel good with a dragon sounds nice…but actually doing it doesn’t seem so nice. Or being with anypony else at all really… It’s easier when I’m alone.”

“I think I know what you mean.” Pinkie Pie patted Fluttershy on the head and made her way to the door. “Let me know if you change your mind, and I’ll be more than happy to help out. Do you want me to leave these here?” Pinkie pointed at the mask and strap-on on the bed.

“No thank you.”

“Okey dokey.” Pinkie Pie hopped over to the bed and grabbed her things.

Applejack and Rarity walked as slowly as they could. They made the decision to tell Twilight about her brother’s photo shoot, but actually bringing themselves to do it proved more difficult than they thought.

“What if somepony else has already gone and told her?” asked Applejack.

“Then our job has been done for us,” said Rarity.

“Part of me hopes that that’s the case…”

Their destination was in sight, but there was no sign of Pinkie Pie.

“Do you think we should even wait for Pinkie?” asked Applejack.

“It would be rude not to.”

“I’m just worried that she’ll make this worse.”

“Have some faith,” said Rarity. “Pinkie Pie knows what she’s doing. Sometimes…”

They finally reached Twilight’s front door, even after what felt like years of stalling. As if my magic, Pinkie Pie appeared beside them once Applejack had finished knocking. Rarity acknowledged her with a simple nod, and Pinkie grinned with inappropriate excitement.

Twilight greeted her unexpected guests and prattled on about books and learning, or at least that’s what Applejack and Rarity assumed. Neither of them paid much attention to what she had to say. The two of them had too much on their minds and were waiting for some unforeseeable moment to spring the news on the poor pony.

“So…Twilight,” said Applejack. The four of them were sitting around a table and not doing anything in particular. “The three of us have the funniest… Well, I wouldn’t actually call it ‘funny’…maybe strange. Not strange in a bad way really. What I mean is…depending on your perspective it might be funny and strange. Or neither…”

“Your brother is bisexual,” said Rarity, trying to move things along. She tried to act casual, but she regretted her bluntness almost immediately.

“Oh,” said Twilight, seeming more surprised by the sudden change in subject than by the news itself. “But why am I learning this from you three and not him?”

Applejack and Rarity looked at each other, not having prepared for such an obvious response. Pinkie looked just as puzzled.

“Well the thing is,” said Applejack, starting to sweat, “we didn’t learn it from him either…or Cadence. At least not directly...”

“Your brother was involved in a photo shoot that…celebrates homosexuality,” said Rarity.

“You mean like a gay pride sort of thing?” asked Twilight.

“Well,” said Rarity, finally blushing, “I’m sure Shining Armor has a lot to be…proud of, but the photos focused particularly on...” Rarity trailed off and looked away from Twilight.

“Sex!” squeaked Pinkie Pie.

“Mhm…” Rarity agreed.

“So it was educational?” asked Twilight, who was as genuinely oblivious as she sounded.

“In a way…” said Applejack, circling her hoof on the table.

“What’s the big deal then?” asked Twilight. “I don’t care if Shining Armor is attracted to stallions, and I’m sure he and Cadence have discussed it.”

“We didn’t think you’d have much of a problem with that part,” said Applejack.

“There’s more?” asked Twilight.

“Mhm…” said Rarity, keeping her mouth shut and her eyes away from everypony.

“Yeah,” said Pinkie. “It’s all in here.” Pinkie Pie took out the magazine and placed it on the table.

“Hung Hunks…?” asked Twilight. “Wait…why is Princess Celestia on the cover?”

“It’s a pornographic magazine,” said Applejack.

“Yes,” said Rarity. “And Princess Celestia wanted to appear in some of the photos with her royal guards.”

“There’s an interview with her too,” added Pinkie.

“What’s a pornographic magazine?” asked Twilight. “And what do they mean by ‘hung’?”

Applejack and Rarity looked at each other awkwardly, but Pinkie Pie came to the rescue.

“It’s a magazine that has lots of pictures of nudity and sex,” she said.

“And as for ‘hung’,” added Rarity. “It’s a term that’s often used when referring to the…size of a stallion.”

“Oh…” said Twilight. “So it's like a sex education book?”

“Sure,” said Pinkie. “But with a lot less educational stuff.”

“So my brother…is in this magazine? That’s…um…”

“I’m afraid so, sugarcube,” said Applejack.

“Are you sure it’s him?” asked Twilight. “I mean…it could just be somepony that looks like him, right?”

“Nope. It’s him,” said Pinkie as she opened up to the page with Shining Armor spreading his legs and showing off his length.

“Okay I believe you,” said Twilight as she immediately closed the magazine and pushed it away.

“Sorry, Twilight,” said Applejack, after glaring at Pinkie Pie. “We just thought it would be best for you to learn it from us.”

“I… I don’t even know what to say,” said Twilight, “…or what to think.”

“Sooner or later some brash pony would come along and tell you about it,” said Rarity. “It would be a shock either way.”

Twilight sighed and stared down at the table. Pinkie Pie looked ashamed and slowly pulled the magazine even further away from Twilight.

“I know,” said Twilight. “I’m not mad at you guys…or him. I just… This feels wrong. I shouldn’t have seen that. It’s my brother’s…private business.”

“Private business plastered all over a magazine,” mumbled Rarity.

Applejack heard Rarity and gave her another one of her guilt glares.

“Princess Celestia knows all about it though,” said Pinkie Pie. “She’s even in the magazine. I don’t think Shining Armor is ashamed of himself.”

Twilight sighed again.

“I for one am a little ashamed for buying the magazine,” said Rarity. “Now that I think about it, it doesn’t feel right.”

“You bought it knowing that my brother was in it?” asked Twilight with a hint of annoyance.

“Sorry, Twilight. Your brother is very…attractive. I couldn’t help myself.”

“He’s married.”

“Still…” said Rarity, cutting herself off before she made things worse.

Applejack looked like she was ready to run out the door.

“Don’t worry, Twilight,” said Pinkie. “We all just think Shining Armor is super sexy. Nothing’s changed.”

“Pinkie…” said Applejack, trying not to get too mad at Pinkie’s honest attempt at comforting Twilight.

“He wanted to make his private bits not so private,” continued Pinkie, “and I think that’s great! He’s making himself and other ponies happy.”

“I think you’re still missing the point…” said Applejack.

“No, no, it’s fine,” said Twilight. “I know you’re all just trying to help in your own way…kinda. But I think I just need to be alone for a while. This is…a lot to take in.”

Twilight’s poor choice of words planted an unwanted image in Applejack’s mind: Shining Armor bending over with a group of eager stallions standing behind him. Applejack shook the image out of her head so fast that her hat fell off.

“It sure is a lot to take in,” she said as she picked up her hat. “And uh…we should probably get going anyway. Sorry for springing this on you so suddenly and all.” She slowly backed up towards the door. Rarity and Pinkie followed her.

“Will you be alright?” asked Rarity.

“Yes,” said Twilight. “I think so... Thank you.”

“Sorry, Twilight,” said Pinkie.

“I know. It’s fine.”

Twilight’s friends closed the door behind them. A few seconds later, Pinkie Pie ran back in and yanked the magazine off the table.

“Sorry! Again…” said Pinkie Pie before joining the others outside.

“I feel awful,” said Applejack.

“Really?” said Rarity. “Considering the incredibly awkward information we had to share, I feel it went rather well.”

“You didn’t exactly help with the awkward part.”

“And what do you mean by that?”

“You just…could have left out certain details.”

“I was nervous. Pinkie Pie is the one that needed more restraint.”

“Sorry, everypony,” said Pinkie. “I just wanted to help.”

“I just have a bad feeling that she’s bottling up her true emotions,” said Applejack. “Who knows what she’s doing now.”

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned something that I wish I hadn’t…

Twilight spent the rest of the afternoon finishing her letter, not daring to let Spike even look at it until it was sealed. Luckily for her, it didn’t take long for her mentor to respond.

Dear Twilight,

I’m sorry I never told you about your brother. He said he’d rather tell you himself, but I have a feeling he never really wanted to tell you at all. I know this must be shocking for you, but I hope you don’t hold it against him.

I have a proposition for you. If you’re comfortable with it, I’d like to invite you to my next 'activity day' with my royal guards. Your brother will not be involved, so you don’t have to worry about that. I think it would help you understand and appreciate the situation. You don’t have to participate if you’re not comfortable with it. I simply recommend that you observe.

I don’t normally give out this sort of invitation, but I know you well, my faithful student. Turn this negative situation into a positive one. I’m confident that you will learn that sharing pleasure in a healthy way is a natural thing that nopony should be ashamed of.

Come see me a week from today. The activities will start early in the afternoon. I expect to see you there.

Your loving teacher,

Princess Celestia

“Princess Celestia said you were to arrive early this afternoon.”

“I know. I’m sorry I’m late," said Twilight. "I hesitated…and then I was busy. And… What time is it anyway? I can’t be that late.”

“It’s almost 9 o’clock,” said the guard.

“Oh right. It’s dark out. I knew that.”

The guard pony guided Twilight down a long hallway. She lagged behind and kept looking over her shoulder.

“If it’s not rude to ask…” said Twilight. “Why aren’t you participating in today’s ‘activities’?”

“Many of us are still on duty.”

“Oh right. Of course. That makes sense. Sorry…”

“Here we are,” said the guard. “I will take my leave.”

“Thanks for your help.”

Twilight waited for the guard to turn a corner down the hall before she approached the door. As she got closer, she realized that she could hear loud music playing. It must have been especially loud to be heard through the thick palace walls. She knocked as if there were nothing out of the ordinary happening, but it obviously wasn’t enough of a knock for anypony inside to hear her.

“I’m at least seven hours late,” Twilight said to herself. “But the guard said that Princess Celestia was still in her…special room. She must know that I would show up eventually. Right? So I guess it’s okay if I just walk in.”

Twilight was surprised to find that the door was in fact unlocked. She opened it and poked her head inside. The loud techno music blared through the dimly lit room. Twilight’s eyes could barely adjust to the colorful lights. She saw several stallions spread throughout the room. Maybe the form of Princess Celestia too. She wasn’t sure. She thought she saw wings near the back somewhere. The bass of the music couldn’t drown out the moans. Twilight’s eyes darted back and forth. She lost where she thought she saw the wings. The lighting changed. She saw flashes of muscular flanks. She found the wings again. A wave of moans escalated over the intense volume of the music. Twilight saw Celestia.

With one swift motion, Twilight pulled herself back into the hall and closed the door. She blinked over and over, not sure if she was adjusting to the light or reacting to what she had seen.

Twilight calmly strolled past the guard and left the palace. “The door was locked.”

Author's Note

I have no idea where this story is going. And that's why I like writing it.:derpytongue2: