Waking Eyes

“Derpy? What are you doing here?” Flare asked her. He turned away to wipe any last tears.

“That doesn’t matter. Flare, what is wrong?” She asked him concerned. Flare was trying to hide it, but she could tell he was crying right away.

“I’m fine, Derpy.” Even to him it sounded insincere.

“Don’t lie to me.” Derpy warned. “I know something is wrong. You don’t have to tell me what it is but you’ll never get better if you don’t admit there is a problem.” Despite her words, it was more of a demand than an offer.

“It’s nothing really-” Flare began but Derpy would have nothing of it.

“Flare, I can see that there is something wrong, something that you’re hiding.” She trotted up to him. “Let me see your eyes.” He resisted at first but after a second of Derpy’s staring he turned to her.

It was obvious Flare could use some sleep, anypony could see that. Derpy gave his eyes a good stare before closing hers.

“Derpy?” Flare asked confused by her antics.

“Hold on a second.” Derpy said before her eyes shot back open. This time they were straight. She looked back at Flare, who was slightly surprised. It felt as if she was looking right through him. Her eyes...

“Flare, there is a reason you are out here by yourself. You were crying when I found you, you can’t deny that.” Derpy said sternly. Her hoof raised to his face and she wiped a tear off. I missed one..?

“But, I-” He began once more. It was bad enough he troubled his loved ones in the past, he didn't want to add Derpy to that list.

Derpy shushed him. “Whatever happened, it will be okay. I’m here for you.” Flare looked at the ground. He couldn’t hide his grief any longer. He was too tired to try, his moral defenses giving in.

“How much did you hear?” He asked. His voice was scratchy.

“I heard enough.” She answered. “Flare, I can only help if you tell me what is wrong.”

“I miss my family. Recently all I can think about is them, and it always concludes with the fact that they’re gone.” Flare began, his eyes once more tearing up. No, no more crying. It is the past, you have to get over it...

“What happened to them?” Derpy asked. She knew she may have been crossing a line or two but she felt it was necessary in order to help him.

“They... didn’t leave this world peacefully.”  He answered her evasively.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Derpy apologized. “If you want to talk about it a little...”

“It’s just not fair!” Flare cried out. “It just isn’t! I mean, what have I done to deserve this?”

“What do you mean?” Derpy questioned, taken aback by his sudden outburst.

“What I mean is that life hates me.” Flare said, calming down slightly.

“Don’t be silly, if life truly hated you, then you wouldn’t have been born at all” Derpy told him.

“Maybe everything would be better that way.” Flare commented, turning Derpy's words against their intended meaning.

Derpy stared at him. She couldn’t stand when somepony said things like that. “What would be better? Name one thing.” It would seem as if she was taunting him to prove her wrong.

“Well, for one my parents would have been better off if they never had to care for me.” Flare dared to say.

“You know that isn’t true!” Derpy said, now slightly frustrated.

“I can’t be too sure anymore, they probably would be alive now if it wasn’t for me. They would have the strength to defend themselves, if they weren’t starving because of me. And how did I pay them back? I failed them!”  Flare shot back.

Derpy knew that what she was about to say could be painful for Flare but sometimes she needed to take risks. “Or they could’ve died way before they did!” Flare turned to her, shocked. Derpy took a moment to calm down. “You may have been the only reason they lived for as long as they did.”

“What?” He was confused. What is she talking about? I caused them so much trouble... how could I be the reason...?

“Maybe you gave them a reason to continue. You gave them happiness in life. I can guarantee they didn’t regret having you.” Derpy answered with a smile.

“Are you saying that they might have been...” Flare didn’t want to finish the sentence. The implications scared him.

“Suicidal, yes.” The smile faded as fast as it had appeared. “I’m saying that they could’ve been in a terrible situation before you came along. You might have been the reason that they even tried to protect themselves from something terrible.” Derpy looked away.

Flare was caught off guard by Derpy’s words. Derpy would be the last pony Flare would expect to suggest something so serious. She always seemed so happy before as if the bad things avoided her. “Derpy, where is this coming from?”

“From experience...” She answered, shaking Flare’s illusions about her happy life even more. “Look, your parents loved you and you never did anything to hurt them.”

“I didn’t exactly save them from any pain either.” He said dejectedly.

“Flare, you have to let go of the past. It’ll only cause you more pain the more you think about it.” Derpy reasoned with him. “What’s done is done, we can’t do anything to fix it. I know you want to, but it’s not possible.” She didn’t like that fact at all either but he would have to accept that there was nothing he could do anymore, just like she did.

Flare sat there, deep in thoughts. He remembered his parents’ death, all the memories hurt him more and more. Derpy’s voice slowly began to dig into his head. But I couldn’t save them…

“I’m sorry Flare, but it may be time to let go.” She said, her voice filled with care and concern. “You can’t let this hurt you anymore.”

Flare’s memories slowly began to fade. He knew that it was time to forget. Not his parents, but vengeance. His pain was slightly fading. He understood that they could never come back but still didn’t want to accept it.

“You know Flare...” Derpy continued, “You aren’t the only one who lost their family...”

Flare turned to her, his train of memories disrupted. “What?”

“I too lost everypony I loved.” She told him, turning away slightly. “It was all a big accident, and well...” She stopped. Her breathing picked up slightly.

Her family... is gone too... Flare looked at her. He could see the pain in her eyes, which still remained straight. She was slumped, and her head hung slightly. It was apparent to Flare that she had gone through something quite similar. She looks so sad... and it’s my fault. His guilty conscience started to catch a second breath.

“Derpy, I-” He began, but was cut off once more.

“Flare, you need to continue on and be strong.” She said, her body sat straight up and her head was suddenly held high. One second she looked so sad and the very next she looked confident and ready to challenge the world. How fast she shifted surprised Flare greatly.

“Look, I know it is truly hard to let go but there is a time to live and let die. You still have family, you have Arrow. You need to be strong, Flare, because there will be a time you’ll need to help what family you have and if your mind is still full of pain, you may not be able to protect them.” She explained.

“What do you mean?” Flare asked, slightly worried about what she was getting at.

“I mean you have to be ready for anything. Thoughts like those will only hold you back in life. I’m not saying to forget everything, just what’s painful.” She paused, and raised her hoof to place it on Flare’s chest. “Besides, they’ll always be in your heart.” She closed her eyes and smiled at him.

Flare was stunned. Flashbacks of Flare’s dream appeared. The thought of Arrow in trouble filled his mind. That dream… Flare slowly put pieces of the mental puzzle together. It showed Arrow dying, and I couldn’t save him... I was held back from saving him, was it really… avenging of my parents’ death that stopped me?

“In my heart...” Flare repeated. He raised his hoof and placed it directly over his heart. It was beating faster than normal. This didn’t surprise him.

“Yeap, right there.” Derpy commented, lightly patting Flare’s hoof. She opened her eyes again and they were no longer straight. They were back to Derpy’s ‘normal’ eye positions. He couldn’t help but look over.

She looks so... happy. Flare sighed, and turned to stare at the moonlight, Derpy’s words ringing in his head. “Yeah...” Flare agreed. Mom, Dad, if you could somehow hear my mind, I wanna let you know I love you... He smiled, as what would appear to be their spirits faded into existence. He could see his Mother and Father smiling back in front of him, holding each other, a tear slowly sliding down his mother’s cheek. I always will love you and will never forget you, but I guess I need to give up on revenge… A tear slid down his own cheek as he raised his hoof from his heart towards his parents, his father nodding, acknowledging his son as a stallion to be proud of. I guess I should’ve listened to that lesson too. They slowly sparkled, starting to get hazy, dissipating with the breeze. You taught me so much… His tear hit the ground as they were finally gone, a warmth spreading from his chest. He returned his hoof to his heart, and stared down at the ground. He could feel his mother kiss his cheek one final time, his father rustling his mane like he used to do so many years ago. Thank you, and farewell…

As it all began to fade, Flare looked at Derpy. “Thank you Derpy. You’ve done so much for me.” He whispered. She was the one who truly saved Arrow in Flare’s mind and finally let Flare’s parents rest happily. “I would’ve never let go of what I thought I needed to do.”

“But now you did and you’re stronger for that. You can live your life free, without one of the biggest burdens clouding your mind. You can be at peace.” She said, the smile adorning her face. “It feels great, doesn’t it?”

“It... It really does.” Flare agreed. Derpy just giggled at him. He looked at her with confusion. “What?”

“Oh, just how happy you look. I mean, you usually seem happy when you are around me anyway, but I’ve never seen you like this.” Flare blushed slightly.

“Oh, uhh, yeah... I guess I haven’t been truly happy in a long while...” He commented.

“Well, you look better when you smile. You should do it more often.” Derpy instructed him. He blushed a bit more. Derpy, however, seemed completely oblivious to it.

“Heh, I can try.” He answered and chuckled a little.

Derpy yawned cutely. “That’s good. But I need to get going, it is really late and Dinky can’t make her own breakfast yet.” Derpy stood up and hovered just off the ground “Well, see you later Flare.” She said.

“Alright, goodbye Derpy.” Flare waved slightly. Derpy turned around to fly away. Wait… She started to fly away. “Derpy wait!” Flare called and chased after her.

She stopped and turned around. “What is it?” Oh no, what did I just do… Flare’s mind finally caught up with his actions.

“Umm... Derpy... would you... maybe...” Flare began, stuttering nervously. What in Celestia’s name am I doing?

“Would I what?” Derpy asked cocking her head to the left. Think! Quickly!! Flare took a split second to look everywhere except at Derpy.

“Would you... maybe wanna... go for some muffins?” Flare finished the last half quite fast. I am so doomed…

“Sure!” Derpy replied smiling. I knew... wait, what!? Did she just say “sure”? “When?” She asked innocently.

“Oh, ummm... How about two days from now, when the sun is in the middle of the sky.” Flare offered.

“Noon?” Derpy questioned.

“Yes! Noon... and we could have them... here, at the lake...” Flare smiled and no matter how he tried, couldn’t hide the fact he was nervous and desperately improvising.

“So have muffins here at noon in two days?” Derpy asked, pretending that she didn’t notice anything.

“Ummm, yeah...” Flare said. Please…

“Sounds like a good date to me!” She smiled. Yea- Wait, what?

“Date?” Flare acted as if he didn’t know what she meant by that.

“Yeah, it is really obvious that you are asking me out.” She said happily.

“Uhhh...” Flare was at loss for words to sneak himself out of the situation he got himself into.

“It’s a date then.” Derpy turned to leave once more. “Oh, and Flare, there is no reason to be so nervous around me.” She said with her face turned back at Flare.

“Nervous? I don’t know what you mean...” Flare defended, and failed terribly. Derpy just ended up giggling at him a little.

It is kinda cute though… Derpy thought to herself. “Well alright, I really need to go now. Bye Flare, see you soon.”

“Yeah... I’ll see you soon...” Flare stuttered. Did I really just do that? With that, Derpy turned her head and resumed her flight towards home. Flare was left there to think about what he had just done.

How did I mess that up so badly? Flare scolded himself. Why? I am usually good at hiding those sort of things... Flare fell backward on the ground, and yawned. She saw right through me, not just right now but this entire time… Flare’s stomach felt a bit weird. Am... Am I hungry? I-I don’t think so... huh.

Flare ignored the feeling inside him and stared at the stars. Well, look what I’m getting myself into. He chuckled slightly. I wonder what else I could do to make my life harder... Hmmm... Flare looked into the night sky, admiring every single star. Well, I still need to think of a way to make sure Scootaloo gets some better living conditions... Doing so alone may take some time but I promised I wouldn’t tell a soul... He looked towards the moon. And then there’s Arrow. I need to make sure he’ll be okay. My dream said I wouldn’t be strong enough to protect him while I still was limiting myself to revenge... But now, I can... I just wish I knew what is gonna happen, so I knew what to do when the time comes… Flare let some time go by before he sat up, and yawned once more.Maybe I should sleep on these issues… Flare slowly got himself off the ground and shook slightly.

Once he was on all four hooves, he started back towards the Everfree forest. He noticed that the sky behind the mountains in the distance was changing into a slight yellowish orange shade and first morning birds could be heard as they slowly awoke from their sleep. Flare’s eyes shot back to the moon. It was slowly descending into the forest. Uh oh… He started trotting faster, he couldn’t exactly run. He was already quite tired and if Arrow noticed he hadn’t slept at all, he’d be forced to.

He got into the Everfree Forest and the sun reign over the sky was growing in glory with every passing minute. Go back down! Flare was getting upset with the sun. He could see far down into the forest where he and Arrow had been staying.

Come on! Just a bit further… Flare was keeping his pace and the target area was getting bigger.Please don’t be awake... Please... Just be asleep, it’s good for you… Flare didn’t slow down when he got close, he couldn’t afford to waste any time.

As he got closer, the terrain got harder to navigate through. Rocks and roots of trees weren’t helping much either. Flare snaked through the remaining distance with admirable agility. However, as soon as he reached the area in which they were staying he miscalculated a step and one rock sent Flare tumbling.

“Oww...” Flare whispered. He didn’t get up, he didn’t want to. He just closed his eyes and took a slight breath. He made it before Arrow found him awake.

“Well, I’m glad you finally showed up.” Or maybe not...