The sun was shinging, the air was cool, and the clouds were pure white. This was the perfect time for Rainbow dash to practice some new tricks.

"Okay, now lets see..." Rainbow Dash looked down from her cloud perch, "If I can go fast enough and spiral my way through the clouds, I should be able to keep the cloud in my slipstream and create a cloud trail." Rainbow Dash had always wanted to write in the sky with clouds, but she'd never have the right weather conditions to pull it off successfully.

"Alright," Rainbow Dash gulped nervously, "here I go!" Rainbow dash dove off the cloud and began flapping her wings. Rainbow Dash's eyes began to water from the intense velocity. She had to wait for the right moment to begin spinning. If she started too early, she'd get dizzy and miss the target and if she spun too late, she'd pass through the cloud and nothing would happen.

The world around the cyan pegasus seemed to have slowed down and she could see the target cloud drawing closer. For the sake of her pride, she absolutely had to hit her mark.

"Now!" Rainbow dash shouted and began to rotate. She went straight through the cloud and turned back into the sky. When she finally stopped and looked back, a white trail of clouds could be seen trailing behind her.

"Awww yea!" Rainbow Dash pumped her hoof and puffed out her chest. She did it! She finally perfected her new stunt.

"Boy am I thirsty." Rainnbow Dash pated, the stunt she just pulled was more exhausting than she thought it'd be. She looked down to see a large red box below her. Curious, Rainbow Dash flew down to the earth to investigate. She didn't remember seeing it when she was practicing, but that's probably because she was focusing on practicing to notice anything else.

As she approached the ground, she realized that the red box was a vending machine. This was perfect! It was suspiciously convienient, but a soda was just what she needed to quench her thirst.

"Sweet, lets see what there is to drink," Rainbow Dash looked at the buttons on the side panel, "huh? There's only one flavor." Rainbow dash was slightly disappointed that her favorite flavor, Bubble Fizz Cider, wasn't there. the label on the button read, 'Bonk! Atomic Punch!,' since there was no other option, the parched pony sighed and decided that it's better than nothing. She put five bits into the machine and pressed the button. The machine rumbled and dispensed a yellow can with bright red writing.

"Cherry flavor, huh?" Rainbow dash was too thirsty to care about the lack of variety. The can was cold and it felt good just holding it in her hooves. When she pulled back the tab, the can began shaking violently.

"What in the hay?!" Rainbow Dash dropped thr can and backed away from it. She had no idea what to expect. After another five seconds of shaking, the can stopped and somehow managed to flip itself so it was standing right-side up. Then out of the opening, a head popped out.

"Whoop!"

"Whaaah!" Rainbow Dash let out a startled scream, "Wh-what the...?"

The creature hopped out of the can, revealing its small frame body. It then flopped onto the ground and began sliding around the vending machine,

"Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!" The creature jumped up right in Rainbow Dash's face.

"What are you?"

"I am Ass Pancakes! I am gonna bonk you!"

"That's what you think! Give me my five bits back." Rainbow Dash scoffed.

Ass Pancakes just stared at the cyan pony and, out of seemingly nowhere, presented a giant rainbow hammer,

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Ass Pancakes screamed. He brought the hammer high above his head and swung down.

"Woah!" Rainbow Dash quickly evaded the attack, but she had something to worry about now that something's trying to killer her.

"Aww jeez," Ass Pancakes jeered, "say goodbye to your kneecaps chucklehead!"

"Bring it on! I can take you on with one hoof tied behind my back!" Rainbow Dash taunted as she took off at lightning speed towards Ass Pancakes, delivering a punch in the stomach with her front hooves, sending him flying into the vending machine, knocking it over on top of him.

"Ha! Not so tough, are you?"

"You suck! I am gonna bonk you!" Ass Pancakes threw the vending machine off of him and jumped into the air before crashing down with his hammer ready to smash the rainbow pony.

Rainbow Dash managed to dodge the attack, but still found herself hurtling through the air with a dull pain in her side. Wondering what had just happened, she regained her balance and looked back to see Ass Pancakes running straight towards her.

"You may be fast, but I'm faster than anything!"

"Do you have any idea who you're talking to? No other class is gonna do that!"

Rainbow Dash flew high into the sky in an attempt to put some distance between her and the freak that wanted her dead. However, Ass Pancakes was much more agile than she, or anyone for that matter, could have expected and hoped that the clouds could provide some sort of home-field advantage. She looked down to see that she that Ass Pancakes had disappeared.

"Whew..." Rainbow Dash heaved a sigh of relief feeling secure now that the monster was gone.

"Look at me! Look at me! LOOK AT ME!!!"

Rainbow Dash's victory was cut short by a sight that she couldn't believe she was seeing. Ass Pancakes was jumping from cloud to cloud and made it to the pony in less than a second.

"Pop quiz: How long's it take to beat a moron to death? BZZZZZZZZT!" Ass Pancakes swung his hammer down on the pony's skull, "Time's up, you're dead."

With that first swing, Rainbow Dash was gone.

Author's Note

Enjoy this crappy/non-proofread piece of work that I wrote up last summer but never transferred it from paper to the screen. I don't really care about this /story/ too much...