Loveless in Ponyville

by The Lord Thunder

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Sad
Length: 2826

A unicorn stallion named Thunder struggles with why he is alone on Hearts and Hooves day for the 26th year in a row.

Well, I was very depressed lately so I wrote myself in as an OC detailing my issues. This is a quick one shot featuring a stallion named Thunder, who is 26 years old and has still never dated. He's not like other stallions, either. In fact, he's the complete opposite of what a stallion is supposed to be: short, skinny, shy, unathletic and emotional. The feelings he experiences in this quick fic are very, very real in regards to how I feel. Please love and tolerate, everypony. If I get "grow a pair and man up" type comments, they WILL be deleted. You have been warned.

Published 2013-01-14 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-27 07:55:04 UTC

Chapter 1

A lone unicorn stallion named Thunder trudged through Ponyville's main road as he sighed through his nostrils, head lowered in shame and doubt. Sadness gleamed in his blue eyes as he pondered to himself various possibilities for his situation; the situation that had tormented him ever since he was a teenager. Although he was 26 years old, he could hardly consider himself a stallion… more of a colt, really. Thunder was a good bit shorter and sleeker than the average stallion, and he certainly lacked the average stallion's confidence, toughness and physical ability. A lack of mental tenacity had always marked him as a very shy, sensitive and emotional individual as well. Perhaps it was this combination of things that had resulted in his situation: at 26 years old, he had NEVER had a special somepony. No mare outside his family had ever loved him.

He DID have a few talents. A single lightning bolt for a cutie mark, which he gained from his ability to conjure electricity into his horn after watching a thunderstorm in fascination one spring afternoon. He was allegedly a skilled writer as well, but this never helped him get over his loneliness.

Out of the corner of his eye, Thunder spied a teenage couple kissing right out in the open for everypony to see. The stallion of the couple was, of course, was a tall, suave looking specimen wearing that same confident smirk Thunder'd seen so many times, while the mare was a pretty little thing wearing what he guessed was at least five pounds of makeup.

Thunder shook his head and growled, but didn't bother to quicken his moping pace. He didn't really have anywhere to go, he simply felt the need to wander about in hopes that the fresh air would help to clear his head and relieve him of his worries. Giggling filled the air above as a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail fled from a well-built pegasus stallion with bushy eyebrows and a mane stuffed stiff with gel. He, too, wore the smug smirk of a typically ladies' man as he and the rainbow mare continued their little game of chase.

An annoyed burst of air shot from Thunder's nostrils as he continued about his walk, by now reaching Ponyville's town square where the fountain stood. Nervousness swelled within his gut as he spied a lone unicorn mare staring into the water. Her coat was a shade of light blue and her plain straight mane was light brown. Perhaps not a perfect beauty, but still a cute girl who just happened to be alone. Perhaps this was Thunder's chance.

What should he say? What he do? He'd heard so many rules about what to say and what NOT to say, as well as what to do and what NOT to do when talking to a mare for the first time if you wanted to make a good impression. Don't back away too much, that would show shyness and thus, a lack of confidence. A stallion also didn't want to be too forward and aggressive.

With a deep breath of courage, Thunder approached. No sooner had he done this than another mare walked up to the one he had his eyes on. This mare had a pink coat and a blond mane.

"Hey, lover girl!" the pink mare said with a wide smile. "How was your date with Turbo?"

The blue-coated mare squirmed and blushed under her friend's words like a schoolgirl with an obsessive crush. "It was great! He's so nice and sweet, and sexy! Slap me, because this is too good to be true!"

Both mares squealed in delight and reared up on their hind hooves to embrace each other. Thunder stomped a forehoof and continued on his way.

Wasn't there ANYWHERE he could go to get away from all this lovey-doveyness? Rub it in my face a little more, why don't you? Thunder grumbled to himself.

Another mare walked down the road in Thunder's opposite direction. She had a long pink mane separated into two locks and a yellow coat. Her cutie mark came in the form of three pink butterflies. Another cute mare, but probably way too good for him. Nonetheless, Thunder smiled at her as their paths crossed and gave a silent nod of acknowledgement. The mare smiled back for a second, then wilted under the attention and ran off with a nervous squeak.

Thunder wilted as well, on the verge of tears. Was he so repulsive that females had to RUN from him for smiling at them? Once he reached the outskirts of town where he was certain he could be alone, Thunder sat down on his haunches. His walk had only made him feel WORSE. He should have just stayed at home where he wouldn't have to be reminded why he wasn't good enough for anypony. Just as he was prepared to give up and let the tears flow, a smiling pink Earth pony with a matching puffy tail and mane bounced down the road. Upon seeing the lonely unicorn, she stopped her hopping and stood in front of him.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Not a whole lot," Thunder mumbled.

"How can you look so sad on a day like this? It's Hearts and Hooves Day!" The pink mare stood on her hind legs and spread her forelegs wide, as if she wanted to hug the day itself.

"Exactly."

Pinkie dropped back down to all fours. Her smile was now missing. "Oh no. You don't have a special somepony, do you?"

"Nope. I'm not the kind of guy who gets dates."

"Awww. Why not?"

Another couple consisting of a handsome, taller stallion and an average sized mare walked down the road to Pinkie's back.

"That's why," Thunder answered, pointing a hoof at the passing couple. "I'm not tall or handsome or suave or confident or anything that a stallion is supposed to be."

"Aw, come on, life's not just about love, silly unicorn! It's about having super-duper fantastic fun with the time you have and making others smile, smile, smile! That's what keeps me goin'!"

"Fun, huh?" Thunder scoffed. "It's not always easy to have fun when you're always doing what you like to do… alone. Never having anyone to share it with, nopony who thinks you're worth enough to hold and kiss and give your heart to."

"Well, what do you like about yourself?" a second voice called. Thunder looked to his right to see a wide-banged violet unicorn mare had joined the pink mare.

"I don't know the answer to that anymore. I used to like the fact that I'm nice and respectful, but then I see guys who are just total jerks and girls go gaga over them. It makes me feel like I've done something wrong in the scope of the dating world."

"Ouch," the purple unicorn said. "Yeah, this is a tough day to be alone, I know that much. You need to love yourself, though, before anypony else can love you."

Thunder only moaned. He'd heard that one before. How do you love yourself when you're constantly surrounded by something so universal as love and dating, yet haven't been good enough for it? He could have started dating ten years ago, but NOOOO. Instead, he'd just been sitting on the sidelines watching everypony else dating and falling in love, even getting married before they were his age.

"Have you tried anything to fix your being alone?" The purple unicorn spoke up once again in light of the sudden silence.

"Yes, I have."

"Like what?" Pinkie asked.

"Let's see… dating sites, fan groups, coworkers, volunteer work, church, prayer. Nothing has worked."

"Sorry to hear that," Twilight Sparkle replied. She looked over her shoulder, back towards Ponyville. "Listen, I'm sorry, but my friends and I are having an H&H Day party, so we both really need to get going."

"Wanna come?" Pinkie asked with a big smile.

"Hearts and Hooves Day party?" Thunder shook his head. "No thanks. The last thing I need right now is to be at a party surrounded by ponies who AREN'T single."

"Okey-dokey!" Pinkie shouted. She followed her violet friend back towards the village of ponies.

"Good luck!" Twilight called over her shoulder.

Yeah, right. I'll need it Thunder thought to himself. Once the two mares were gone, he walked farther away from Ponyville and into a thick blanket of tries where he'd be better hidden. Now that there was nopony around to bug him for it, Thunder dropped to his belly, buried his face into his shanks and cried.

Chapter 2

"I can't believe it," Thunder grumbled out loud to himself as he walked along a dirt road that led to Golden Oak Library. "28 years old... I can't bucking believe it." He despondently kicked over a rock with his front hoof. He was 26 when he had that talk with Pinkie and Twilight on Hearts and Hooves day. Now he was 28 years old, and little had changed aside from the fact he was a little older.

Oh yeah, that and ponies he knew when they were foals were now getting dates and finding love. He knew ponies who were seven years old when he was eighteen who now had beaten him to it. Silently, he wondered to Celestia what it was he did to deserve such a fate.

From the corner of his eye, he watched a young mare with a tall, burly, rugged stallion, cuddled up close as they walked, Suddenly, Thunder didn't wonder anymore. He was sure of it: he was alone because of how he was: thin, shy, and short. Things that stallions weren't supposed to be. It was no wonder to him that mares opted for more confident, attractive and masculine stallions. It seemed to make sense, after all.

He'd always considered himself a gentlecolt, but he also called the definition of a "nice colt" he'd read one time: "A colt who doesn't know how to be a stallion, can be beta or omega. Weak willed, quiet and nurturing. Probably out of shape and have no desirable qualities that a mare would look for in a partner." In other words, the opposite of the supremely attractive alpha-male.

Other ponies he passed were oblivious to his inner turmoil, probably none of whom went 28 years without a date. Like another couple he spied lying in the grass together just ahead. As usual, the stallion was taller than him with a decent stubble. Thunder couldn't even grow in a proper beard! He hung his head and closed his eyes tight to block out the image he so desired to one day have his own, hoping that not paying attention would block the pain.

It didn't.

How was he supposed to be confident and at ease with himself when there were stallions like that all around him? The question gnawed at him like a squirrel's teeth.

Thunder stepped up to the door of the library and opened himself in. A violet unicorn was there, organizing the books with the help of her dragon assistant. At the sound of the door opening, she turned around and smiled at her guest.

"Oh, hi, Thunder!"

"Hey, Twilight," Thunder replied with less than a little enthusiasm.

"Looking for something in particular?" Twilight Sparkle asked, turning her full attention to Thunder instead of her work. "Had any luck finding a partner?"

"As if," Thunder retorted. "I was wondering if you might have any books on dating advice."

"I might," Twilight said. She walked over to a shelf and skimmed the books. "I wouldn't put too much stock into what those books say, though."

Inwardly, Thunder chuckled. He never thought he'd see the day where Twilight would tell somepony not to follow the advice of a book.

"Just be yourself!" the unicorn continued.

"That hasn't worked!" Thunder said as he looked through a different shelf. "If just being myself was good enough, I wouldn't be looking for a book on dating."

"I've looked through a couple of those books myself. They're all shallow and try to steer you in the direction of an alpha-male."

Gee, imagine that! Thunder thought. "Yeah, tough break for shy, sensitive nerds like me. That would mean completely changing the way I am. They tell you that you can't be sensitive or shy. They treat pickups and dating like it's a game, especially flirting. 'Say this,but don't say that. Watch your body language. Do this, not that.'"

"I think you're putting too much thought into it," Twilight replied.

Thunder stamped his hoof in frustration. "Of course I think about it all the time! I mean sheesh, I'm 28 years old! I could have started a family of my own by now!"

"'Could have' is the past. Look forward to tomorrow. That's what Celestia told me once," Twilight said.

However, her behavior struck Thunder as somewhat odd. She was still looking through her shelf, though Thunder knew that Twilight Sparkle knew her library like the back of her hoof. Then it hit him.

She was stalling. But why?

"But if my future is anything like my past, I'll wind up spending the rest of my life alone while I watch everypony else find love and start families. I'm sick of being alone. I'm sick of hurting all the time."

"I'm sure there's some mare out there who would melt for a sweet, gentle stallion."

Thunder scoffed. "Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it." Then his hoof stopped on the spine of a particular title. "Oh give me a break." How to go from Loveless to a Mare's Macho Stallion in 30 days. Thunder tilted his head to read the author's name: Iron Will. Well that figures.

Twilight giggled a little as she looked across the room to Thunder and the book he'd seen. "Yeah, I wouldn't recommend that one. He's got some interesting theories, but I don't think they're for you."

Sighing through his nostrils, Thunder continued his search. "I think I need to find one called 'Giving Up: How to be Single and Happy.'" After a few more seconds, something struck a sharp blow to the back of his head. "Ow!"

As he rubbed the sore spot, he noticed a book lying open on the ground, and Twilight now deviating from her own distraction to shoot him a glare. "Now you stop that! And don't ever make me do that to a book again."

"Book?" Thunder snapped back as he rubbed the throbbing back of his head. "What about my skull?!"

"This self-defeatist attitude isn't getting you anywhere. It's time to stop it. Now."

"Well what do you want me to do? I've tried everything!"

"Repeat after me." Twilight assumed her typical lecture pose: head held high and eyes closed with a smile. "I'm a sweet, likable stallion and a mare would be lucky to have me."

Thunder grumbled audibly. Sensing that he was fighting a losing battle only made his pain and frustration worse. "I'm a lonely, pathetic loser and mares are smart to avoid me." Instinctively, he ducked what he thought would be another tossed book. It never came.

"If you still need some sense beat into you, I'll gladly turn you over to Rainbow Dash," was Twilight's reprisal instead of more projectile literature.

That was Thunder's cue to get serious. "Ok, ok. I'm a sweet, likable stallion and a mare would be lucky to have me." The pain persisted.

"Very good," Twilight replied, looking very pleased with herself. "Every time you start getting down on yourself, I want you to say that."

"Even if I don't believe it?"

"Yup." Twilight's eyes were not joking.

"Saying it didn't make the pain go away."

"Your thoughts are like muscles. The more you exercise them, the stronger they get." Now Twilight seemed more like a teacher, something she obviously reveled in. "You've been training your negative muscles for so long. It's time to start exercising your positive muscles."

Thunder let out a sigh. "Ok, I'll try it. For whatever good that'll do."

"AH!" Twilight shouted. "See? Right there. That's what you need to stop doing!" Her horn sparkled with magic energy, and the book she'd tossed lifted itself from the floor and hovered over to Thunder.

He read the title out loud: "The Principles of Positive Thinking"

"Read it," Twilight ordered. "One chapter a day."

"Okay, thanks," Thunder said as he took the book into his hooves.

"Once you finish that book and get your negativity down a little," Twilight continued. For some reason, her voice started to crack as if she was nervous. "And once you do, maybe then," she continued, fidgeting with her front hoof, "we can... see about getting you... a fillyfriend."

Thunder nodded understandingly. "Ok, one chapter a day. Positive thoughts. Thanks, Twilight." With that, he turned and left the library.

Oblivious to the fact that Twilight Sparkle was blushing.