Discordant Job

by Dream Reader

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 5445

What do you do when your boss isn't just difficult to get along with but just plain Discord.

When summoned by Princess Celestia, one pony and her friend never expected this... Now "working" for Discord, along with a few other ponies and is that a zebra, these two must keep there wits about them or end up spreading too much mayhem, insanity, and chaos, but that's what you get when you have a discordant job.

Published 2013-01-16 04:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-23 20:14:00 UTC

In which Celestia makes a deal

“Come on, Princess, what could you possibly loose? It’s not like you can’t always just knock me back down a peg or 3? All I want is 1 maybe 2 helpers, and besides I’m getting tired of being stuck in this stone prison,” a stone statue said as if talking was taking all of his strength, a plaque underneath the stone read ‘Discord, Please refrain from arguing, fussing, or fighting near this statue’.

“So, what you’re trying to say is you want helpers? Discord, I don’t think giving you helpers to spread mayhem, discord, and insanity is really a good idea, unless, you are no longer doing any of those chaotic things and instead are trying to learn about the powers friendship?” Princess Celestia said to the draconequus statue.

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. All you have to go on is trust. And from what I gather you don’t put a lot of trust in me, now why is that? All I tried to do was to bring a little chaos back into this boring world, only to once again be turned back into stone,” the statue shouted the last bit as it shook violently as if trying to get out. Celestia took a step back wondering if maybe a random group of ponies should be gathered to become his “helpers,” she shuddered to think, Equestria knew, what all he could do to the pony psyche. After all, he nearly destroyed Twilight's faith in the powers of her friends and their friendship.

“Fine, you will get your helpers, but they will be chosen by Princess Luna and me, you will have no say in them what so ever, do we have a deal?” Celestia glared at the statue and prayed he wouldn't drive any of the ponies who were going to help him insane, as he merely said in a creepily cheerful voice, “Deal.”

“Okay now every pony don’t forget to pick out colors you find soothing to make you dream catcher with,” Dream Reader said, wishing she was out staring at the clouds or better yet sleeping until the sun went down. “Oh no, Hun, do you need help getting untangled? By the way I love the color choices light greens and shades of blue tend to be very soothing. Also why don’t you use an accent color to attract the bad dreams?” Dream tried to be patient but when dealing with little fillies and colts she found her tolerance for silliness was at an all-time low. But some of these little fillies were just too cute for their own good, especially this little one she had yet to get her cutie mark, but she was eager to learn anything that might be her talent. Dream remembered back when her navy blue flank wasn't marked with what very few knew to be her first dream catcher design. Since then she found that while she could create a dream catcher in under a minute, she also loved to hear about ponies’ dreams and sometimes she could tell them what it meant. Dream believed that while a pony has a special talent they also have several others that they don’t get a cutie mark for.

“Dre, you ready to go? I’m not goin’ to wait around all day,” said a grey Pegasus, with a needle and thread cutie mark. She tapped her hoof impatiently, and rolled her eyes as Dream came out of her little one room shop with her saddle bags obviously almost too heavy for her.

“Sorry, Lil, the shop was a mess, why’d I let Miss Daz talk me into letting her class make dream catchers?” Dream panted out wishing she’d never let those foals into her shop. Dream let out a small huff of air blowing her white bangs out of her face.

“So tonight, Lilly, is everything ready? Are you ready to leave this little town behind and see what Princess Celestia wants with us, I mean what could we possibly do or have done to gain her attention,” Dream glanced over at her dear friend, worry apparent in her eyes. As they walked Lilly looked over at Dream and began to speak but closed her mouth as if saying anything would just worry her pal even more and when she got worried you needed to run, she tended to accidently cast sleep spells, and boy were those a trip and a half. Once when Dream Reader had gotten nervous in class she cast a sleep spell over everyone in the class including her, poor janitor who found them thought the entire room had gotten sick and died he retired shortly after that.

“It’s not that I don’t love our little slice of heaven here in Donston, but I swear every pony thinks I’m crazy or something just because I spend my nights staring up at the stars dreaming of the day when I can leave, you at least have wings and you get to go get the southern birds every time we wrap up winter. And that unicorn stallion, Mirror Sheen, seems to think him and I are actually going to settle down and reproduce just so our town can have more unicorns. Ugh, one of these days I’m going to strangle the foal of a stallion,” Dream Reader said as Lilly and she boarded the train to Canterlot.

“Wait, sister, you are actually going to allow that thing back out of his stone prison and give him helpers, how many?” Princess Luna shouted. She looked furious; he’d just use these ponies to cause incalculable damage.

“Yes, I am. However, you and I are going to be keeping a close watch on him, and making sure he doesn't try anything,” Celestia stated, in an impatient tone, “We have been over this twice, all I ask is that you stand by this decision with me besides that is why you helped me pick out ponies, and they are all on their way here.

“What?” Luna exclaimed

In which more ponies are introduced.

“Wow, this is huge” Lilly exclaimed. Dream Reader couldn't help but agree, thinking is good the castle stood out and that they were probably going to be escorted there, considering Lilly Stitch and her navigation talents were disappointingly lacking.

“Lil just calm down, remember what happened last time you got wowed by how big something was, you nearly ate that entire cake. And even though it’d be amusing I don’t think you should get lost here. Also we were told report directly to the castle, as in without delay,” Dream said jokingly, but still looking for someone that looked as out of place as she did, and then she saw two stallions, one a white Pegasus with purple hair and the other was a strange looking fellow, he had black and white markings and what in the name of Equestria had he done to his mane it looked like a Mo-hawk! She nudged Lilly and pointed her nose at the two, Lilly squeed and galloped over to them nearly scaring them.

Dream walked over and heard Lilly talking quickly, almost too quickly. Dream came up and immediately said, “Lilly Stitch, calm down you’re scaring the poor guys. Hi, I’m Dream Catcher, but everyone just calls me Dre. Are you all here for Princess Celestia’s new idea?”

The Pegasus stallion looked almost dumbfounded, his mouth hanging open, his blue eyes staring straight at hers. The odd stallion smiled at both of them and said, “Yo, how’s it going? I’m Mic.”

Lilly took that opportunity to blurt out, “What kind of pony are you? I've never seen a stallion like you before. By the way I’m Lilly Stitch.”

“LILLY!” Dream shouted, while covering her friends muzzle, “I’m so sorry, Mic, I hope she hasn't offended you.”

Mic just laughed and said, “S’ok I’m used to getting asked that, I’m what ponies call a zebra. I’m from Trotsburg, my family moved from some land even my dad doesn't remember.”

“And who are you?” Dream tried asking the other stallion, he shook his head.

“Moon Light,” he said, shyly.

“Well Moon Light, do you know of anyone else that is going to be here?” Dream asked, hoping he was just not use to the rest of them yet.

“No, I think we were the only ones arriving today. So, where’re y’all from?” Moon said while walking towards the castle.

“We’re from Donston, both Lilly and I. I run a dream catcher shop, and Lilly runs a tailor shop, she’s amazing at making dresses and things,” Dream gushed.

Celestia began to wonder if the ponies selected would be a match mentally for Discord and his tricks. She looked at the list again; Dream Reader, a unicorn with an uncanny ability to tell a pony what their dreams mean; Mic, a zebra whose skills at the microphone goes beyond just rapping; Lilly Stich, a Pegasus with talent in all thing cloth; Moon Light, another Pegasus who clears the clouds at night because of his amazing night vision; and Emerald Stripe, an earth pony who made music that could make grown stallions weep. She just hoped these ponies meshed well.

One of the guards came in to announce that 4 of the 5 have arrived and that they were just waiting for Emerald to show up. As the first 4 walked into the stain glass gallery where all the exploits of the 6 friends who possessed the Elements of Harmony and the Princess Cadence and her new husband were displayed, Dream gasped. She’d heard the windows were beautiful, but wow the windows were breath taking. Moon just kept walking, right into Dream and Lilly, who was looking in awe of the windows. Mic walked, thinking of ways to sum up this hall of colors, shapes, and stories, and snorted at the mash up of ponies, and kept walking. He knew he could make a decent story out of this yet.

Author's Note

Here's the second chapter. I'd like to thank my friend who beta read it for me and gave Mic a better personality than he had. Thanks so much Stauto, you really helped this chapter.

In which Groove meets everypony and Lilly is dramatic

As Emerald ran through the streets of Canterlot, he realized he was majorly late. He had been so busy with a piece of music that just wouldn't mesh with anything else; it was like it rejected any sound other than its own. Sighing he galloped up to the gates and tried to appear calm and not in a rush. “I’m Emerald Groove and Princess Celestia requested my presence today,” he stated in a hurried yet calm manner.

“Okay, seems like we’re still missing one more pony, the others have already been sent to find a building and set up shop, as it were for you and your new boss,” Celestia began she was interrupted briefly by a brown earth pony with green hair, and a record with a green stripe going through it on his flank. “All of you have been selected randomly; however you 5 have been selected to work mainly at night due to your sleep habits already and I hope you will remember this is a job and that being on time is going to be an important part of this. And you must be Emerald Groove.” Celestia continued without missing a beat.

“Yes, that’s me. I mean I’m Emerald Groove is my name,” Groove started getting flustered. Dream just looked at him, thinking this stallion could be an annoying pony if he gets flustered this easily and with Moon Light and him both this could get interesting. She glanced over at Groove and did he just wink at her! Oh buck no, this was going to get nipped in the bud now, but then again maybe he was winking at Lilly, oh that’d be a trip and a half.

“Who will we be working for, if I can ask?” Dream Reader inquired, looking worried, everypony seemed to let lose a breath of relief that they didn't have to ask the question on all their minds.

“You all will be working for Discord and through him me. I need you all to tell me what exactly he’s up to. Now I think they said they were setting up shop in a place called Steeplechase,” Celestia said in a tone that gave no room for argument.

“So was it me or did we just get told we are working for the thing that put the cra-cra in crazy? I mean seriously, I just feel like we've been shipped up the river, or in other words DOOOOMED!” Lilly said as they traveled to Steeplechase, she had become a bit dramatic since learning who they were going to work for.

Dream just shook her head hopping the guys didn't try to reason with Lilly, it wouldn't work. That Pegasus could be amazingly stubborn when she wanted to be, it took Dream several months to convince Lilly that the dream she’d had didn't mean anything.

“You never know this could be fun, and besides how do we know he’s going to be like he was before? I mean, uh, ponies change right,” Moon Light began rather sheepishly, as if unsure if speaking to the Pegasus mare was a wise decision. As Dream winced he realized just how unwise that was.

“Changed! Changed! I highly doubt he has changed and has embraced an aura of love and tolerance!” Lilly fumed. Everypony in train car covered their ears as the Pegasus yelled. Dream walked over to Lilly and gave her one look Lilly immediately shut up.

“Everypony just shut up! I mean really are we really going to fight about every small detail. We need to pull ourselves together and be a strong representation of friendship and harmony when we arrive. Now let’s calm down, put thoughts of who we’re working for, where we’re going, what we’re going to be doing, why us, and how well we’re going to do, and talk about ourselves for the rest of our trip, now how does that sound?” Mic calmly spoke and looked each pony in the eye as if daring them to nay say.

“Sounds good to me, we all need to know more about our friends and co-workers. Besides what could getting to know you all hurt?” Groove stated, eager to learn more about this group of ponies.

Author's Note

I hope everyone is happy with my new chapter. Again thanks to Stauto. And thank you to everyone who has Favorited and given this story thumbs up. I'm starting school next week so not sure when I'll be able to get another chapter up, it may be a mad dash to type up these chapters just so I can get one up every week. Also, Let me know what you think; am I not typing enough per chapter, is it boring? Let me know what you don't like about this, I may change(probably won't), I can't get better if I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

In which the group finally arrives.

As night fell the group decided to all at least attempt to get to know each other, they found it rather difficult because of the personalities of the group, but when dream suggested that they all show everyone something they'd been working on they agreed to meet up in 10 minutes. Mic went to his room to get a book of rhymes he’d been working on since he got the letter from Princess Celestia. Moon just stared at the night sky, thinking he’d left everything back home. Dream went to get a dream catcher she’s been working on for a while. Lilly grabbed a bit of cloth she’d been turning into a doll dress. Groove pulled out of his bag his music equipment. When they all got back to the main car they sat in a circle and worked out a way to choose who took turns, a microphone Mic had with him, he suggested that everypony pass it around and that pony would go first in presenting what they had.

Moon Light went first, saying that while he didn’t have anything to show. He’d like to tell something about himself. “When I was a small colt I used to stay up late into the night reading or just staring out at the night sky,” he began his tale, “now most ponies where I’m from have never seen a unicorn before, so what I did was very unusual, and when I grew up we began having really bad cloud accumulation late at night and no pony was awake to deal with the problem except me, apparently staying up had given me some kind of super night vision. So that’s what I bring to the table, I guess.” He finished sheepishly.

Lilly Stitch quickly grabbed the microphone from Moon Light and began telling all about herself and her special talent of turning any piece of fabric into a work of art and while no she didn’t have the magic unicorns have she’d figured out how to use her wings as well as her hooves to aid her in sewing. Also that she loved to burn the midnight oil when it came to working on projects, but her home back in Donston was very messy because she got so wrapped up in her work that she always forgot to clean until she couldn’t find a specific piece of fabric, or a friend, at the last bit she giggled slightly remembering the one time she’d actually lost Dream in a huge pile of fabric.

Emerald Groove took the microphone from Lilly with a comment about how he thought she’d be able to turn anything into a masterpiece. Lilly rolled her eyes as Groove began talking about his music and how all he really wanted to do now was help other ponies realize their dreams in music. He loved producing music almost more than he liked making it. He was discovered by a big name that has since forgotten Groove exists because he wasn’t making enough money for him. He just hoped he never became like the pony that had screwed him over.

Dream and Mic kind of stared at each other as if in a battle of wills to see who would break down and pick up the microphone from Groove’s hoof. In the end, Dream Reader sighed and said, “I’ll go. My name is Dream Reader, I live in Donston, and I own a shop that sells dream catchers and I also do dream readings. There really isn’t much for me to tell considering sometimes even I don’t grasped what I know. This dream catcher is one that I’ve been working on since the shop opened, and it was supposed to be finished a year ago, but the shop and friends and life happened now I’m hoping to be able to finish it while working for Discord. Oh and any weird dreams y’all have just bring them to me I’ll be happy to help you figure them out.” She held out the microphone to Mic expecting him to take it.

Mic however declined it saying he was tired and would rather go to bed, no offense meant. But when Groove and Moon both blocked his way saying that they shared something about themselves it was his turn and he wasn’t getting a lick of sleep unless he sucked up his pride and shared a piece of himself. He rolled his eyes, thinking it was just great that everyone was sharing their life stories. He cursed under his breath and began to tell his tale. He was born in Derbyton where his father had been raise after his family moved from Zebrica. How his father and mother both met while being away from their homes at a music convention and it was love at first hit. His father had run into his mother, literally, he knocked her over trying to get through the crowd, and they exchanged info and began writing each other, years later they married and of course the rest is history. Mic told all of them how he found his love for rapping, when he was just starting school , and they had to write a small story about themselves, he ended up writing an entire song just about how much he liked rapping.

They stayed up the whole night talking, laughing and making jokes; just enjoying each other’s company. They finally went to sleep as the sun was just coming up over the horizon, they still had a whole day before they arrived Steeplechase giving them just barely enough time to sleep and get refreshed. When they finally arrived, they were greeted by an earth pony with a sour look on his face and 2 unicorns both smiling like foals that had just received candy. All Dream and the others could do was sigh and think was well this is going to be interesting. The ponies, waiting for the group, were drawing attention to themselves due to the fact that one of the stallions in the smaller group was bouncing up and down while the other 2 just looked on disapprovingly. The one jumping up and down was a Blue unicorn with a blone mane that had blue tips. The mare of the group was sea foam green unicorn mare with a hot pink mane. The sour-puss earth stallion had a black coat and dark blue mane.

“Hi, I’m Free Faller; I run the soap shop in town. So far we have a few food shops, my shop, and Discord’s mane hall. But anyway are y’all the new ponies Celestia sent? ‘Cause if so, welcome, welcome. If not, why are you here, huh, huh, huh?” the blue unicorn spoke excitedly. His cutie mark was a smiling firework. His companions looked at him as if he’d grown another head. As soon as he finished speaking he began bouncing again. The earth pony put a hoof on his back in an attempt to keep his hooves on the ground, but he ended up bouncing up and down himself.

The other unicorn chuckled and turned to them and said, “Hi, I’m Glitter Shine. I hope Free didn’t scare y’all, I understand he can be a bit of a handful, but he means well. Oh let’s go on a head and get y’all settled in and figure out what yuns can do.” She began to walk away with the 2 stallions following after her, when she reached the end of the platform she turned and looked at them and asked if they were coming or not.

“By the way the names Zen, you know, in case any of you needs me,” the earth pony called behind him, not really caring if any of them heard him, “I run the market place which is where all the food shops are located.” He then excused himself, saying he had business that needed his full attention. Dream couldn’t help but think he was being more than slightly rude, and she would’ve said something, but Moon shot her a look of what’s wrong. She shook her head as if to say nothing, don’t worry about it, and turned to glare at Zen’s retreating back.

Author's Note

To Blue Streak: Here is a longer chapter just for you, and everypony else.

And Thank you once again to my pre-readers, who give me feed back like, "Go a head and introduce these 3 new ponies, for the love of Mike!", y'all make these chapters even more fun to write than they already are, and yes Discord will come in maybe next chapter, btw loved the Keep Calm and Flutter On episode, but to me he will always be that trickster who made chocolate rain from cotton candy clouds that almost had Pinkie going to his side.

Sorry for the changes however, the people those characters were based on wanted them changed, again sorry.

In which Discord makes an appearance.

As the group walked down the main street of Steeplechase, Dream, Mic and Moon began to notice something was odd about all these ponies: none of them seemed to be doing what their cutie mark said they liked to do. They were shown a square kind of area that had 6 or 7 different buildings 5 were empty.

“The house doubles as a store front, if you want to open a store or something like that. If you do that you can use the loft area above as you home, mind you this is just a suggestion, I don’t really have any ideas about what y’all are going to be doing so feel free to look around and find the building you like. Oh and the 3 that are right smack dab in the center are Free, Zen and mine’s buildings. Have fun, oh and be careful,” said Glitter Shine, as she walked into the mint green Tudor style house.

“Find a nice house. You know, some of you can even share a house if it makes you feel a bit more comfortable,” Free Faller shouted as he trotted off to his and Zen’s brown shack of a house, obviously the 2 stallions didn’t like to take care of their house. The other stallions shuddered thinking about even asking to stay in that house.

Eventually the famous microphone was passed around again to decide who picked which house. Dream offered to share a house with any of them. Moon thought about it but then decided against it. Emerald mad a joke about them sharing a house together that made Dream tell him that if he even sat one hoof in her home it’d get chopped off. She saw an Industrial Neo-Victorian building that she immediately claimed as hers when she walked into the square. Lilly found a small Victorian with windows everywhere. Mic claimed a studio type structure, and Emerald asked to live with him, giving Dream a wink and a smirk. Moon saw a house built on what looked like stilts that was high off the ground. Thus they found their new homes.

As Dream entered her new house she felt as if she was not alone, letting out a hesitant and stuttered hello in to the gloom of her place. All of the sudden 2 yellowing red eyes blinked into existence so close she could see the mischief they promised her. As the lights came on of their own accord there in her currently empty shop stood Discord’s eyes, as she looked around for the rest of him she saw that his body was walking through a wall only to have his head hit and crack a window pane.
“Well hello and welcome to my little slice of semi-chaotic paradise, Dream Reader, one of 2 unicorns in your home town of Donston. Hm, now what could Princess Celestia have thought sending you to become my helper? Oh yes I know all about that, and I know that you haven’t even told your best friend, I mean what would she think if she found out that you and her were here for totally opposite reasons. I mean you’re here to help me, and she’s here to keep you in line,” Discord began, and looked shocked when Dream’s face fell, no one had told her Lilly had been sent here just to keep her from becoming like this sad creature, who had no purpose other than to cause chaos, and anarchy. “Well, don’t blame her I think she was told to keep that little tidbit to herself. I besides why else would she come all the way from a town she’s been living in since she was a little filly and you her friend seemed to be ready to pack up and leave all because of a stallion that assumed you and him would be together because of the fact you 2 are unicorns and did you ever set him straight and tell him there is no way he and you will be together, nope. Sometimes I think you would be better at spreading chaos than even me. Oh, well I’ll see you tomorrow or are you going to take that day to think about everything I’ve said,” Discord chuckled thinking he’d won, and left by just fading into nothing.

Dream sighed for what felt like the thousandth time since Discord had left. Her rooms were set up the way she wanted them, so there really wasn’t anything for the unicorn to do at her own home. She thought of Lilly and knew that road shouldn’t be traveled just yet, Mic and Emerald would be too busy with their equipment to notice her and Moon probably didn’t have a way of getting up to his front door without wings, wait is that a staircase. As Dream climbed the stairs she continually berated herself for interrupting him, he probably didn’t want to be disturbed, but she didn’t want deal with her thoughts by herself.
As she got to his door it opened and out walked Moon Light, both blushed and looked away for a few seconds. Dream started laughing uncontrollably, as Moon just looked on in a state of disbelief. “I’m sorry, it’s just I was coming over to see if you maybe want to hang out or something, but you seemed to be going somewhere, so I’ll just be going. See you tomorrow, Moon Light.”

“Wait; Dream I was just going to round up everypony, to see if we maybe wanted to grab a bite or something. Oh and has Discord come to see you yet? His visit gave me a lot to think on, he talked about my family and how sometimes I need to stop and think about things I said, and other stuff, I was just wondering if I was the only one,” Moon rushed to stop her and then turned sheepish as if admitting he’d eaten the last oatmeal cookie. She nodded her head, and he heaved a sigh of relief, just thankful he wasn’t the only one that had been visited by draconequus.

When the group got to Lilly’s house, she told them she was busy and didn’t have time to go get something to eat. However when Dream mentioned being visited by Discord, and that she suspected she wasn’t the only one, Lilly told them to give her a few minutes and that she’d be right out, she quickly disappeared back into her house followed by banging and one big crash, and then nothing.

Chuckling Dream asked if the guys wouldn’t mind helping her dig Lilly out of whatever just crashed, nodding all 3 followed her into the mess that was Lilly’s front room. Dream’s jaw dropped like an anvil, never before had she seen her friend’s home so messy, even back in Donston you could at least move. But there standing on top of a mountain of fabric was everyponies favorite draconequus, and below him was Lilly in what looked like an anvil shaped mass of cotton candy. Dream started yelling at Discord, right as he disappeared. She soon picked Lilly up and took her to the bathroom so she could get cleaned up. Emerald attempted to flirt with her but couldn’t think of any cotton candy related lines to feed either of them. Lilly sighed.

They walked around the square getting everypony together to go grab a bite to eat and talk about things. Each pony seemed uneasy about the little outing, but soon all worries were tossed aside buried for another day. They found an all-night diner were they could hang out till Celestia raised the sun if they wanted.

Author's Note

All right! Here's the new chapter, apparently having a ridiculously long break has it's advantages, lol. While Discord does make his first appearance in this chapter, don't think we've seen the last of him. He shall be back and maybe with more anvils of cotton candy or Chocolate (Milk) Rain! As I was writing up his little bits I listened to the one Discord song everypony likes. But anyway, I hope y'all enjoy this chapter of Discordant Job, and yes they will start their jobs very soon.

Thanks again to Stauto who picked up on things spell-check didn't.
I've given up, on trying to make the chapters over 2,000 words, because right now I just can't do it, maybe later, or as I get experienced as a writer I can.